12/5

"Haru."

Haru tensed at her fiance's voice, still sitting in front of the television as she had been for hours now. She didn't even know what channel was on.

Her head didn't turn.

Her breathing stilled.

Sugimura slithered around the couch, eventually entering her view as he stood in front of the TV screen. "What? Not talking to me now?"

Haru's mouth felt dry. "I - sorry. I'm sorry." I wasn't thinking. I wasn't paying attention. I forgot. I'm sorry...

Sugimura inched closer, either unaware of the way his fiancee recoiled at his movement or uncaring. "It's alright, my dear," he purred. He glanced over at the hallway leading into the kitchen where servants still lingered, both cleaning up and preparing for the next day. Haru wondered if he thought to dismiss them, but soon his attention returned to her.

"What happened at school today? Why did you have to leave early?" he questioned, taking a seat next to her on the sofa.

"I… didn't feel well," Haru lied.

"Why not?" Sugimura pressed.

Her mind flickered back to the encounter with Makoto Niijima. "I don't know…"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Sugimura demanded. Upon realizing his fiancee was remaining silent, he sighed. "I don't understand why the idiots running that place won't allow you to just stop attending. You only have, what, a week left?"

Haru's eyes bore into the television screen. "Exams start next week."

"There's no point in you taking exams. It's not like you're going to college." Sugimura said.

Haru's eyebrows furrowed. She wished she could have taken college entrance exams with her other classmates, but Sugimura just wouldn't allow it…

She felt lonely. Left behind. It felt like everyone in her entire class was moving forward towards a common goal, yet she was still stuck in place. She was the sun, unmoving, watching everyone rotate around her.

"It's a challenge, sometimes, having a girlfriend who's still a high school student." Sugimura said solemnly, as if he truly pitied himself. "You wouldn't understand it, Haru, there's just such a maturity difference… but I have to admit, the benefits far outweigh the negatives." his hand reached out to gently stroke her on the cheek.

His palm felt like a hot iron rod pressed to her delicate skin. She jerked away, cupping her face like she'd been burnt by his touch.

Her fiance's expression darkened. "Come on. Don't be like that."

Like what? The rebuttal danced on the tip of Haru's tongue, but she swallowed it whole.

Accepting her lack of response as consent, Sugimura moved towards her again, wrapping an arm around her slim shoulders while planting a kiss just below her ear.

Haru hunched in on herself to avoid granting him access to her body.

Her fiance swore underneath his breath, trying to pry her open as she sat tucked with her knees up to her chest. After a sharp intake of breath, he called out to the staff, "That will be all for tonight. You may retire to your quarters." He listened to the shuffling of feet padding out of hearing distance before turning his attention back to her.

"Cut the attitude, Haru. I've had a long day," Sugimura issued a warning before leaning into her again. Roughly, he jerked her shoulder to the side, planting both of his hands on either side of her. Sugimura smirked as he stared down at her, closing his eyes as he lowered himself, intending to seal a kiss.

Haru turned her head to the side, shutting her eyes tightly as she did so. Ignoring her defiance, Sugimura planted a trail of wet marks along her jawline. She cringed at the sound.

This was how things usually went, more or less. She would try forcing her spirit to leave her body, as if that made it any less painful. Her eyes pressed together so taut that she never even felt tears slipping out. She would lay limp the entire time and just crumble in on herself when it was over, chest heaving with sobs as Sugimura left afterwards to do… whatever he did. Nothing she cared about.

But tonight, Haru felt like a rubber band. She could feel the events of the day weighing her down, stretching her energy so thin that it felt like she was about to...

"It's my birthday today." she heard her voice, but couldn't quite remember the words ever leaving her lips.

Her fiance actually paused for once, leaning back slightly as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

Haru pushed herself backwards so she was no longer underneath him, hoisting herself up onto her elbows. "It's my birthday today. I'm eighteen now." her voice gained power as she continued. "Did you know that?"

Sugimura's face was flushed, screwed up in perplexity. She hadn't spoken to him in much above a whisper in weeks. "I don't - ''

"I'm sure you didn't." Haru stood up, hands trembling as she straightened out her clothes. "Because you don't know anything about me! You don't care about me at all!"

Sugimura rose with her, actually looking a little sheepish. "We'll go out to dinner tomorrow night. That one European restaurant, with the sake? My treat."

Haru had difficulty controlling her breathing amongst the fury raging through her. After everything he had done to her, this was what sent the tiniest shiver of guilt down his spine? Her birthday?

Her stupid birthday, that no one even cared about.

Her stupid birthday, that she hardly even cared about. At least, as much as she could care about anything these days.

Haru looked him in the eye, not wasting a single second before she boldly pronounced, "I hate you."

Her fiance's eyes bulged, his face reddening from the collar up. "What did you just say?"

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you! I hate you!" the words felt foreign upon actually leaving Haru's mouth, as she couldn't recall ever speaking them before in her entire life. But it was true; she did hate him. More than anything, really, she did…

Sugimura moved towards her in a surge of anger, and for once Haru didn't just freeze in place. She shuffled over to the side, gaze quickly landing on a stairwell planted on the opposite side of the room. She made a dash in the direction, but Sugimura roughly shoved her forward, pushing Haru right into the wall. She let out a cry, cupping a hand over her nose that was now trickling blood.

"You stupid little slut," Sugimura growled, practically emanating anger. "You're a lot more trouble than you're worth, you know that?" He swung his arm out, grabbing a fistful of her auburn hair and violently yanking it back.

Haru instinctively reached to try and pry his fingers out, only for Sugimura to wrap his free arm around her throat in a chokehold.

"Let go of me!" she hissed. He had done this before, but never so tightly… her head felt light, but Haru's whole body was still thrashing.

"And what would happen if I didn't?" Sugimura inquired darkly. "That's right; nothing. I doubt anyone would even notice your disappearance. You don't have any friends as far as I'm aware. Everyone in your family has either cut ties due to your father's temperament or only reach out when they're in need of money. You're not allowed any contact with that idiot detective, not that he's even in the news anymore…"

As Haru's head got lighter and lighter, she could feel her resolve draining. Sugimura was right: absolutely nobody cared about her.

"And your father, of course, is dead. You belong to nobody but me. So tell me, Haru, who would really care if anything were to happen to you?" Sugimura had down sunk to the floor with his fiance, his grip slightly loosening as he could tell her consciousness was fading. He absentmindedly stroked the side of her face, now tinted blue.

Who would really care if anything were to happen to me…? Haru's eyes suddenly shot open, realization striking her like a lightning bolt. I would! I would care!

"Gt… ffme…" she grumbled from her position trapped, still within Sugimura's chokehold.

He loosened his grasp slightly, his guard now lowered, continuing to pet her as he did so. "What was that, my dear?"

Haru then focused all of her might into chomping down onto Sugimura's upper arm. Even through his collared shirt, she could feel her teeth connecting with his flesh painfully. Sugimura cried out, releasing her from his vice-like grip, and Haru took the opportunity to dart down the stairwell while her adrenaline still allowed it.

"Agh - fucking get back up here, you stupid bitch!" Sugimura roared, beginning his descent down the stairs. His movement was laggy; he had never been on the receiving end of physical punishment, after all.

The doorknob kept slipping against her sweaty palms, but eventually Haru pried it open. She offered not even a glance in Sugimura's direction as she squeezed herself through the doorway, setting off in a sprint down the street for as far as her legs could carry her.

In her mind, Sugimura wasn't very far behind. He was completely restless, pursuing her at every street corner, every traffic light. Taunts flew out of his mouth as easily as breaths were drawn in. Realistically, however, Haru knew that her fiance wouldn't dirty himself with that type of exertion. He likely hadn't stepped one foot away from his lawn before calling a team to set out and look for his missing bride in his place. He was probably inside, resting, having his wound treated.

As Haru delved into a more urban part of town, she became increasingly concerned with the amount of cars passing by. Any one of them could contain people working for Sugimura, and they all would turn her into him in a heartbeat.

There weren't as many pedestrians out as she had hoped. Less of a chance for her to actually blend in…

After a silent moment of thought, Haru spun on her heel and began heading towards the subway station at a brisk pace. She knew if she could just make it there before she was spotted, she would be safe - at least for now. Sugimura probably forgot that normal people used it as their transportation every single day, those who didn't have the luxuries of chauffeurs and personal drivers.

Haru entered a daze as she reached the station, paying for her ticket and boarding the train like a robot. She thought of the last time she had visited the station. She had ridden the subway with Akechi. They had gone to the Madarame exhibit together. It was a date… but not.

She had liked him so much… why did things have to turn out the way they did? Now she was in this horrible situation and she didn't even have anywhere to go. She had no friends, nobody to turn to, nobody to save her from the awful mess she'd gotten herself stuck in.

Maybe things would have been better if I had just let Akechi… get rid of Sugimura.

Haru wanted to cleanse the evil thought from her mind, but it was persistent. Before she could entertain it much more the train arrived in Shibuya, which seemed like as good of a stop as any. It was far enough away from Sugimura's house that she could relax for a few hours, at least.

Haru was surprised to see an array of shops inside the station. There was a bookstore, a cosmetics store… her breath caught when she spied a quaint flower arrangement nestled at the far right of the little mall. She bustled over to the area immediately.

There was an adorable flower shop, sitting perfectly amongst all the chaos. Haru gazed at the beautiful bouquets, nimbly stroking their stems between her fingers.

She hadn't been able to do any gardening since her father died. Sugimura always said tending to plants was for the common folk, not a high-class girl like herself, so once she was moved in all of her plants were immediately thrown out. And her fiance had become much more punctual with her being dropped off and picked up back from school, so she wasn't able to take care of the rooftop garden behind his back any longer. She had gone up there two weeks ago in between classes, out of some sad, hopeful curiosity. She thought maybe someone had taken over for her, noticed that the plants weren't getting enough attention and began tending to them in her absence.

But the only sight she was treated to was that of her once-vibrant little garden, all shriveled up and dead.

Completely consumed by her thoughts, Haru hadn't yet noticed a presence standing behind her.

"O-Okumura-san?" The voice was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Haru slowly turned around, desperately praying that no one affiliated with the Sugimuras had come to hunt her down so quickly after her great escape. To her surprise, it ended up being someone that hadn't crossed her mind in quite a while. She blinked.

"Ah, Kurusu-san…" Haru addressed him quietly, taking in his state. He was wearing a green apron, complete with a nametag that read Akira. "You… work here?"

"Uh... yeah. I do," Kurusu nodded, clearing his throat. His expression looked rather sorrowful. "Are you okay, Okumura-san?"

Am I okay? Haru wondered.

Truthfully, no. She hadn't been for a while now.

Both mentally and physically, she was still reeling from the altercation with Sugimura. She suddenly glanced around, growing paranoid at the thought. "Say, Kurusu-san... do you know of any hotels in this area?"

"I can't say that I do." Kurusu was still looking at her in that same way, like she was a wounded bird left for dead on the side of the road. Pity sparkled in his eyes. "Do you… need help? You're bleeding."

"I am?" Haru asked dubiously. She glanced down at the front of her blouse - and sure enough, blood was still streaming down from the damage done to her nose. She immediately moved to cup her hand over her nostrils, trying to hide the source.

"My shift will be over in a few minutes." Kurusu began, "Why don't I take you to the hospital, or - ''

"No! I can't go there!" Haru exclaimed, panic spiking within her chest. "I mean, um... I'm so sorry, Kurusu-san. I just - it's too - I need privacy, okay?" Ever since Haru had noticed her bloody nose, she could practically feel the fluid draining right out from her body. Her head felt lighter with each drop of blood that graced her palm. Her words were coming out more fumbled than she had hoped.

Kurusu was silent for a moment, perhaps a bit shocked at her outburst. His expression looked strained. "I know a sort of… underground doctor. She could examine you."

"Is she… um, near here?" Haru inquired, leaning slumped against the wall for physical support.

"She's close enough," Kurusu answered rather cryptically. "But I'd better take you myself. She knows me there. Just wait, like, five minutes until my shift ends, okay?"

"Where should I, um, wait?" Haru blinked a few times as she spoke. Her vision was blurring a little at the sides.

Kurusu helped guide her down to sit along the eggshell-colored wall. "There, is fine." he looked down at her pitifully. "You're gonna be okay, Okumura-san. Just a few minutes, alright? Just let me close up."

Haru couldn't remember ever being under the impression that she wouldn't be okay, but she nodded nonetheless. Kurusu kept talking to her even as he worked around the store, fixing arrangements and packing things away into corners - was he running this place by himself? The thought kept crossing her mind, like she forgot it halfway through each time.

She couldn't catch her consciousness before it slipped right out of her hands, made all slick by the blood pouring down from her nose. Haru's last vision was of the charming bouquet that sat directly across from her, a clear plastic bag filled to the brim with hyacinths of all colors - purples, blues, and whites.

Hey, gang. So I actually have to make a pretty important decision regarding this fic, and I wanted your guys's input.

So with the original outline I had planned for Litost, we would be nearing the last few chapters here. But, as I'm sure all of us Persona fans are aware of, P5R is coming out this week in Japan and this upcoming spring for North America. And the Persona fanbase has all been wondering how Royal will change the canon narrative, and more specifically, if Akechi will possibly play a larger role or even avoid his demise, granting him a redemption arc.

The thing is that, if the Royal makes a major change to Akechi's character or his fate, it would in turn impact the canonical relevance of this story. And if, say, Akechi ends up surviving in P5R, I would most definitely want that to impact this story.

And with my update schedule, I honestly probably wouldn't even finish publishing Litost until right up around Royal's release. So what I'm really wondering is this: Do you guys want me to 1) continue Litost as usual, without taking into account the possibility of the Royal narrative changing canon? And then if something major does happen with Royal's release concerning Akechi's character, perhaps release a sequel or spin-off of Litost that can comply with P5R? Or 2) Put Litost on a hiatus up until Royal's release, and then change my outline to match the new canon, then resume activity for Litost?

Please let me know your thoughts, because this issue really has me at a crossroads here. Both of the options are certainly doable, but I am just stuck on which one is preferable to my audience.

Out of all the work I've written, I am the proudest of Litost, and it truly holds a very special place in my heart. And of course it's all thanks to you guys, my dear readers. I'm actually publishing this chapter on the one year anniversary for Litost - which is such a crazy thing to think about - but one I am very happy and grateful to be able to celebrate with everyone :)