12/7
The next day, Ann brought Morgana home with her from school.
It felt pretty strange being absent from school in the last few days of her third year, Haru had to admit. She had never excelled in academics, always landing near the middle of the class. She had sort of given up on studying after a while, as it all felt fruitless to her. Especially with her future already laid out for her like board game tiles: get married, have children, be a good wife… What role could academics play in that sort of life?
Haru felt much better about everything after she was able to take a long, hot bath and reflect on all that had transpired. This was her third day absent from Sugimura's home, and it had been the best by far. Mentally, at least.
Ann neglected her studying to spend time with Haru - or at least just left the workbooks to rest uselessly on her lap while they watched television. Haru hadn't ever experienced a slumber party before, but she could imagine that this was what it was like. They ate popcorn while watching hours of a dramatic romance. Haru had heard the name before; it was quite popular, but she could never get into all the new shows that popped up. Perhaps it was easier this time because her mind was desperate to find something else to focus its energy onto.
It was much easier to talk when there was a buffer to divert attention to, which the show served purpose as. Haru was able to learn more about Ann's modeling career using this strategy. They talked about school, Akira ("He's the best!"), Makoto ("She's so smart, I'm really jealous."), and even Ryuji ("He's a total idiot. Trust me, I've known him since middle school.") Ann alluded to other members of their friend group as well, such as an art prodigy and Akira's little sister.
"You have to meet them some time. They'd love you." Ann gushed during her explanation. Haru wasn't so sure.
At some point in the early evening, Morgana fell asleep and stayed that way for a considerable amount of hours. What could he possibly be tired from? Haru wondered. Cats were such funny little creatures. She really enjoyed having one around… Maybe I can ask Sugimura to get me one after all this.
The thought slipped in without any warning, and at first glance seemed so innocent that Haru experienced quite the delayed reaction. What was that? 'After all this'... Did she want to go back to him after all?
"I think this guy is so cute," Ann pointed to the antagonist of the show, interrupting Haru's internal monologue. "Even though he's the bad guy."
His features were attractive for sure, but Haru was never really the type to rave over boys. Still, she wanted to contribute something to the conversation. It helped gravitate her mind from those bothersome thoughts... "I think… I like the main guy more." It was a little embarrassing to say. She had never been the type to girl-talk. She never even had anyone available to pursue that kind of chatter with, actually
"Eh, he's too plain-looking for me. Plus, I prefer black to brunette hair on guys. You know?" Ann tossed a few more pieces of popcorn into her mouth. "Gosh, we're going to be out of this soon. Maybe I should buy some more."
Haru realized she had never really considered which hair color she deemed superior, but if it came down to it… she'd probably pick brown.
…
Roughly an hour and a half later, Ann returned from the convenience store with her hands full. Haru spied a bag of yakisoba takeout tightly wrapped up, and four new bags of popcorn. It looked like there were a few sweet treats mixed in there as well.
"Do you think we'll need that much?" Haru questioned, eyeing the snacks warily. She'd never eaten popcorn much before, since she was more accustomed to Japanese snacks than American.
"Maybe you don't, but I do," Ann said simply. She plopped herself down on the sofa next to Haru, petting Morgana on the head. "Hey, Mona-chan. What have you been up to?"
The cat meowed in response. Ann giggled, then returned her attention to Haru. "I ended up just getting noodles and some dessert. I hope that's okay for you."
"Oh, yes. Thank you very much. I'm not much of a picky eater…" Haru almost felt shameful about how indebted she was to Ann and the others by this point. It was like the weight of one thousand heavy thank-yous was constantly burdening her shoulders. All the while distressing thoughts of Sugimura and the abundance of what-ifs regarding her situation infinitely swam around inside her head.
It didn't help that her mind kept looping back over to Akechi, too. She knew that at least Akira was acquainted with him… but was Ann? She had surely heard of him before, hadn't she? Could it hurt to ask…?
Her mind had only crossed over to the thought of him every so often during her time living with Sugimura, but that was likely because thinking of what he told her before their falling out made her feel so shameful. He ended up being right, of course… Yet now that she was somewhere else, she was thinking of Akechi quite often. She missed his company.
Haru and Ann migrated over to sit at the dining table together. The television was set at a low volume to serve as little more than background noise, easing any lasting awkwardness in the air. Even when things were a little tense, Ann never seemed to harp on it too much. Perhaps she could tell Haru was more introverted than herself, that she found it difficult to connect with others so easily… whatever the reason, Haru was very grateful for Ann's patient behavior with her.
"I love getting takeout from this place." Ann raved about food even while she was actively eating. "It's not expensive, either."
"It's... really good," Haru commented in between bites. The room was rather quiet aside from the slight sound of the TV. In this moment, the room's atmosphere nearly dripped with tranquility. Haru was next to pleasant company, completely safe from her worries. She was simply enjoying a meal with an acquaintance.
"...student named Haru Okumura, engaged to the son of National Diet Member Sugimura…"
Haru suddenly fumbled with her chopsticks, ultimately dropping them on her lap. The sauce was staining her dress, but she couldn't pay any attention to it. Her eyes zeroed in on the television screen, confirming her fears: a news station was on. Her student ID photo was plastered on the screen, the words MISSING printed onto a bright blue banner right underneath.
"She was last seen on the night of December 5th at approximately nine pm…"
"Um… Do you want me to turn this off?" Ann asked. She was wincing at the sorrowful expression Haru's face had adopted, like it was bringing pain to her as well.
"No, it's okay…" Haru spoke slowly. "I just… didn't realize they were putting things like this on TV… It's weird."
"This is the first one I've seen," Ann said genuinely.
"Meowww."
"Morgana too," Ann then added.
"That's good," Haru said, her expression blank as she mindlessly responded. Was that some kind of joke? Well, it doesn't matter… It felt too bizarre that people were out there looking for her.
She practically jumped when Sugimura suddenly appeared on the screen. What was he doing there? How much had he told the news about what happened…? The police must be involved too, if she was officially a missing person.
"Haru, if you're watching this, please listen to me. I want you to come home. I miss you. I can't live without you…" Sugimura looked just as anguished as any other bereaved family member being interviewed on television. Emotion filled his voice as he pleaded, "If someone has abducted you, find a way to notify the police. My heart has been breaking the entire time you've been gone…"
"I can't watch it." Haru shielded her face from the screen, shutting her eyes tightly.
Ann quickly abided by her wishes, shutting the television off with a single click. She sat down next to Haru, clearly at at least some loss of what to do.
"It must feel really weird seeing something like that," Ann attempted to comfort her, rubbing Haru's back in soothing little circular motions. "Just so you know… I don't think you're doing anything wrong."
"It feels like I am," Haru confessed. Her emotions were so frazzled by the newcast that she didn't have the capacity to limit her honesty. "There are so many people involved, and here I am just sitting here… and Sugimura, he seemed so…" Different. Kind. Apologetic.
Maybe their big fight had been enough to change him for good. Maybe now he really accepted her, really loved her and would cherish her forever. She could return to his home and things would be exponentially different than they always had been. She could live a peaceful, extravagant life with her fiance and finally be happy…
But Haru wasn't stupid enough to genuinely believe in a future like that, though she could hope for it. The past would never change.
If you weren't so stupid, I wouldn't have to hit you.
If you listened to me, we wouldn't fight.
If you had a brain…
If you weren't so insolent…
If you weren't such a haughty bitch…
But she had the power to change her future.
"He's not really like that in real life." Haru spat out. The contrast between the Sugimura on the screen and the Sugimura she knew was too drastic for her to bear. "My fiance, I mean. He's not kind. He doesn't care about me, no matter what he says on TV…"
Ann didn't say anything, and Haru couldn't even fathom what she wanted her to say in response to that sort of thing. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come.
"I remember with... Kamoshida… even before he was arrested, he would be on TV sometimes. 'Cause Shujin had such a good volleyball team and everything, you know. But I never watched any of those. I avoided them, actually." Ann spoke wistfully, the tone of her voice distinctly different from any time Haru heard her speak prior. It was like she matured five years in a matter of minutes. "But then after his arrest, they would show those old interviews where he made himself sound so awesome. Like he was the best coach ever, the best teacher ever, he adored all his students… that kind of thing. I felt like I could watch it after he was gone, because it was supposed to be over, you know? I would never have to see him again."
Ann continued. She was still rubbing Haru's back. It almost seemed like the motion was intended to comfort Ann just as much as it comforted Haru. "But then I realized I wasn't over it. I'd get so angry seeing those stupid interviews... I'd cry and scream into my pillow and throw stuff because I didn't know how else to cope, you know? He was always the worst, and nobody knew it until it was too late. Until my friend got hurt."
Haru remembered Shiho Suzui's suicide attempt. It was an enormous deal for the school at the time, but soon enough Kamoshida's confession and subsequent arrest became more interesting news. She had never thought about the situation from Ann's perspective before, but hearing it from the source herself evoked emotion... Especially after all the time they had spent in each other's company; perhaps they were more alike than Haru originally thought.
While Ann was bubbly, expressive, and beautiful… she too had been victimized and made to feel small. Kamoshida had wreaked havoc on her life and Ann still marched forward, standing strong while he rotted in a prison cell. She was able to speak about him with such ease, too… she wasn't afraid of him anymore. Haru couldn't even admit to herself everything that had transpired the past few months. I'm such a coward...
"So whatever happened, I want you to know… you don't have to forgive him. And you can never forget." Ann's voice easily perked back up to the cheery tone it was so accustomed to. "As long as you have people that support you, and you believe in yourself, you'll be okay in the end. Even when all this stuff is over and we go back to our normal lives, we can still be friends."
Friends. Haru's second-ever confirmed friend.
"Thank you, Ann."
"You're welcome," the blonde chirped back. "And, you know, you can always talk to me about anything. Maybe I'll understand, you know?"
With all of the strength Ann possessed, she wanted to use it to help her. Haru didn't know how she had ever become so important. When was the last time someone had wanted to actually help her, aside from these past few days...? Mostly everyone always seemed to just use her for their own personal benefit. Her father, up until the very end. Sugimura, endlessly. Business executives, her father's associates, the whole of Okumura foods in general. She felt like a puppet whose strings had just snapped, and now she didn't know what to do. How to act. Where to go.
Haru's lips pursed together, then relaxed. Her mind was a puzzle of scattered words, sentences forming and falling back apart inside her head. The mental phantom of Sugimura she had built up, manufactured from pitiful memories, was too much for her to bear alone. She wanted to be strong like Ann… and Ann would understand. This was something they shared.
Haru took a deep breath. The dam she had built up finally erupted, and relief washed through her in tidal waves.