Colin dragged his wand slowly through the air, the tip focused on the square frame in front of him. The magic shimmered and then turned invisible as it settled on the photo. A knock on the door startled him as he inspected his work. "Come in," he called absentmindedly.
"Colin?" Sally Anne stepped into the room, her camera in hand. "My camera won't change settings. Can you take a look at it?"
Colin looked up from the photo and held out his hand. "What setting do you need to change?"
Sally Anne handed over the camera. "I need to switch from outdoor lighting to indoor."
"It hasn't worked when you tried to change it..." Colin mused out loud as he moved through the camera's settings to find what he wanted. He knew Sally Anne knew her way around her camera backwards and forwards, so if she hadn't been able to figure out the problem her camera was probably malfunctioning.
"Beautiful shot," Sally Anne commented. Colin glanced over to see she was inspecting the photo he'd been working on.
"It was a once in a lifetime shot, that's for sure," Colin said, turning his attention back to the camera. He scrolled through a few settings, attempting a different way of switching the lighting, but it didn't respond. "Sorry Sally," he said. "I think you need to get Mel to fix it. I think it's been damaged somehow."
Sally Anne gave a sigh and took her camera back. "I was hoping to avoid having to talk to Mel," she said. "He's just so grumpy lately."
"Lately?" Colin laughed. "I think grumpy is just his personality."
"Quite so," Sally Anne agreed. "I think he's having some problems with his wife though, so he's been in a worse mood lately."
Colin's reply was interrupted by a second knock at the door. "Come in," he said.
The door opened enough to allow Terry to poke his head through the door. "When you're finished developing this batch would you step into my office for a moment Colin?"
"Yes," Colin said. "I have ten photos to go."
"You've made good progress," Terry commented. "Oh, Sally, have you figured out the problem with your camera yet?"
"Colin and I can't figure it out," Sally Anne said. "Guess it's time to talk to Mel."
Terry nodded, his eyes showing his sympathy before he ducked out, closing the door behind him. Colin knew even Terry wasn't fond of dealing with Mel, but he never spoke ill of his employees if he could help it.
"I suppose I'll just get this over with," Sally Anne muttered. "Thanks for trying Colin."
Colin gave her a supportive smile and returned to his work as Sally Anne left the room. He picked up another photograph and dipped it into the potion on the desk before moving it to the line of string stretched across the length of the room. He repeated that for nine other photos before moving back to the first one he'd put on the line. It was now dry. He took it off the line and placed it on the counter before slowly moving his wand along the photo, a nonverbal spell making it sparkle before settling on the photo as a completely invisible gloss. There were other more effective protective spells, but Terry preferred that Colin and Sally use this particular one because it left no visible trace that there was even a protective spell at all.
He repeated the spell for each of the remaining photos before leaving the darkroom. He moved slowly to Terry's office, enjoying the walk; he'd been in the darkroom for half the day now. It took time to develop pictures properly.
"Terry?" Colin knocked softly on the open door.
"Have a seat," Terry said, looking up from the parchment in front of him.
Colin settled into a purple armchair. He was curious what this was about. Terry didn't usually summon people to his office. He hoped that he wasn't in trouble. He couldn't remember doing anything of note lately.
"I've received a request," Terry said, bringing Colin's attention back to his surroundings. "I was sent an owl asking if you are available to take a family portrait."
Colin stopped himself from dropping his jaw, although it was a near thing. "Why would they ask for me?" he asked. "There are a couple of well known family photographers in the Wizarding World. Why me?"
"The lady has seen your work in our paper and thinks you have an eye for telling a story even in the most mundane of photos," Terry explained. "She's quite right, of course. It is somewhat unconventional to ask for a newspaper photographer for personal pictures, but I'm inclined to allow it. More income is never a bad thing, and I believe this may help you to build clients. I know you're always talking about how you want to have your own studio."
Colin could hardly contain his excitement. Perhaps this would be the start of building his dream! "I'll do it," he said happily.
"I will owl her back then," Terry said.
"Thanks," Colin said as he stood up. Just before he left the room he turned to ask, "What's the name of the client?"
Terry didn't look up from his parchment as he responded. "Astoria Malfoy."
Time seemed to stop for a moment the second Colin heard the name. He stood still for several seconds before rooting himself from the floor. He walked quickly away, his footsteps taking him unconsciously back to the darkroom, where he slid to the floor the minute the door was closed behind him. He found that he was breathing heavily.
Astoria Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy's wife.
A family photo. Of the Malfoy family. Of Draco.
Draco. Whom he hadn't seen in years.
It's not like he actively avoided the man, but they didn't run in the same circles and he very rarely attended any of the events that Colin photographed for the paper, so Colin hadn't seen him in person since the opening of Homes for Hope (although that didn't really count, as he'd only seen him in the background of one of his photos when he'd developed them; he suspected that Draco had been avoiding him all evening).
How would he handle seeing his lost friend, his lost love, after a decade apart? Could he talk to him as though they didn't share such special moments between them? Could he talk to Draco's wife without imagining himself in her place? And how would Draco react to seeing him again?
Colin shook his head forcefully as though to chase away his thoughts. "Stop it," he told himself. "Don't freak out."
He took a deep breath and moved to stand up. At least now he had confirmation for something he had long suspected: Astoria Malfoy knew nothing about Colin's connection to her husband. Draco wouldn't willingly agree to see Colin again if he had a choice, and he doubted Astoria would knowingly force him to see someone he didn't want to - he'd observed her enough in school to know that while she hid it fairly well, she had a caring heart and hated to see others in pain.
Bloody hell. He couldn't seem to get away from Draco Malfoy, even after all of these years.
He didn't know it, but Draco Malfoy would think the same thing about him only hours later.
It wasn't often that Draco found himself truly speechless. And around Astoria, speechless usually applied in a bedroom context.
"...replied this afternoon, and agreed to allow Colin Creevey to take our family photographs..."
Astoria's voice sounded excited as she moved up the stairs, her wand waving as she gathered up the toys that Scorpius had left lying around. Draco watched her from the bottom of the stairs, his chest tight with dread.
"...can't believe Terry Boot said yes, I know it's unusual to ask for newspaper photographers for family pictures..."
Draco schooled his face into a neutral expression as Astoria started to walk back down the stairs toward him, her eyes scanning the steps for any toys she may have missed. "...it would look good just above the fireplace, and it's about time we got one done anyway..."
His mind snapped into damage control mode, and he tried to think his way out of the situation, but no obvious solutions presented themselves. Astoria didn't know that Colin had once been...whatever he had been to Draco. He can't tell her to pick someone else, because she'd want to know why, and he can't tell her the truth. He's never outright lied to her. He doesn't want to start now. Because he can't tell her. He can't tell anyone. He can barely even admit to himself what Colin had once been to him.
"Draco? Draco, are you listening to me?"
Draco pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Sorry 'Tori," he said, hoping his pet name for her would mollify her. "What was that last part?"
Astoria gave a slightly exasperated smile. "I asked if Tuesday evening worked with your schedule."
"That will be fine," Draco said as he suppressed his mounting panic.
"Excellent." Astoria smiled broadly at him. "Thanks Draco, I know sitting for pictures isn't your idea of a fun evening."
Draco didn't know how to respond, so he moved to give her a kiss. It was supposed to be quick, but his wild emotions carried him away, and when he let go at last Astoria was breathless. "What was that for?" she asked him.
He didn't answer, instead leaning into her until their foreheads touched and he could feel her breath ghost his lips only inches away. Perhaps Astoria understood what he wanted, for she leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him again, and by the way she pressed her body into his own Draco knew where they were headed. Thankful he hadn't needed to ask out loud, he sank into her touch, his need to forget the world and forget Colin Creevey overwhelming him, and he threw himself into the moment with abandon.
It was only after, as he lay in silk sheets with his wife sleeping beside him, that he allowed his mind to fill with agonizing worry.
Bloody hell. He couldn't seem to get away from Colin Creevey, even after all of these years.
Colin wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse when Terry told him that Astoria Malfoy had requested Tuesday evening for the photo session. That meant he had four days to plan how to act - and four days to worry. He was thankful that Harry seemed to be distracted as well (something about a missing person case), because he didn't want to explain the source of his own agitation. He wasn't sure how Harry would react to learning that he would be taking pictures of the Malfoy family, and wasn't eager to find out.
Tuesday morning dawned brilliantly sunny. Colin almost felt betrayed by the weather; he felt as though today should be stormy so as to reflect his own emotions.
"All this magic we can do, and we still can't control the weather," he grumbled to Harry as they ate breakfast in the kitchen.
Harry looked at him in confusion. "I thought you loved the sun."
"I do. Just not today," Colin moaned. "I want to go back to bed."
Harry smirked at him. "Why would you want to do that? I'm not in it."
Colin laughed in spite of himself. Harry kissed the top of his head as he moved to put his plate in the sink. "I'm going to be late tonight, I've got a pile of paperwork that I've been putting off to finish."
Colin yawned. "S'alright, I've got a photo shoot tonight anyway. Will I see you before bed?"
"I've told Kreacher to have dinner ready at nine tonight," Harry said. "I don't want to stay any later than eight if I can help it, but if I'm going to be later I'll owl you, yeah?"
Colin nodded after stifling another yawn. "Sounds like a plan."
"Have a good day love," Harry said.
"Right back atcha," Colin answered.
He wished that Harry was right about having a good day, but with the prospect of seeing Draco Malfoy looming over him he wasn't very confident about it. The day passed agonizingly slowly. Every minute seemed to drag on, and he knew he was distracted.
"Colin? Are you okay?"
Colin blinked and looked up from his cup of tea. Natalie Mayes was staring at him from across the break room with a look of concern on her face. He sighed and shook his head slowly.
"Do you need to talk about it?"
He shook his head again. How could he talk about it? Dennis was the only person he'd even mentioned his connection to Draco with. It's not that he didn't trust Natalie, but she was a coworker, and office gossip had a way of spreading. Don't shit where you eat, his mother had once told him. He'd followed that advice his whole adult life.
Natalie gave him a sympathetic smile and walked over to the coffee pot. "If I don't get caffeine in my system I'm going to crash," she said in a tone that still held traces of concern.
"Are things going better with your source?" Colin asked, his brain flashing back to the staff meeting from weeks ago.
Natalie glanced at him. "Which source? I have several."
"The one you said stopped responding."
Natalie stirred creamer into her cup silently. Colin waited, his curiosity awakened.
"Things aren't going well," she said at last. "I'm at a loss at how to proceed with this story. Without this source, I have nothing."
"I'm sorry," Colin said quietly. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
At that, Natalie smiled at him. "Thanks for offering, but there isn't anything to do that isn't already being done."
"What's the story about?" he asked.
Natalie laughed. "Were you daydreaming in that staff meeting?"
Colin turned red and looked down in embarrassment. "I may have missed a few details."
"Apparently so," Natalie teased. She took a sip of coffee before continuing. "My source found evidence of mishandled money, and when no one else would take them seriously they came to me."
"Why would they want to stop cooperating with you if they were the one to seek your help?"
Natalie frowned. "I don't know. The last time we spoke they mentioned something that they overheard, and they've been radio silent ever since."
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, perhaps because Colin spent a large amount of time puzzling over Natalie's mysterious source. He knew it would do no good to ask who this source was, as such information was zealously guarded, but he wondered what had happened to make he or she so cagey.
All thoughts of the anonymous source vanished the moment he apparated to the edge of the property line of a large house not too far away from the Manor that Colin had once visited. He was incredibly relieved that he didn't have to see that mansion again. This building was much smaller, but still an impressive size: Colin estimated that it was perhaps half of the size of the Manor Draco had once lived in. As he walked up the cobbled stone pathway he took deep breaths and tried to give himself a pep talk, but even his internal voice was nervous and wanted to hide.
The door was opened by a house elf who led him to the sitting room. As he entered, the room's occupants turned to look over at him. Colin didn't want to look at Draco yet, so he focused on Astoria Malfoy as she moved to shake his hand. She was smiling, and Colin found himself relaxing as he returned the smile.
"Mr. Creevey, it's so nice to meet you," Astoria Malfoy said.
"Please, call me Colin," he responded. "Mr. Creevey makes me sound like my Pop." He chanced a glance at Draco as he said those words, remembering a time when his Slytherin requested not to be called by his sir name for a similar reason, but Draco wasn't looking at him.
"You're welcome to call me Astoria, then," she told him. "And this is my husband, Draco." She waved her arm in Draco's direction.
Colin walked forward two steps and outstretched his hand. "It's nice to meet you," he said politely.
There was half a heartbeat of hesitation from Draco, but then he was shaking Colin's hand, a courteous but empty smile on his face. "The way my wife talks about your photos, you must be splendid," he said in the same polite tone.
"There's always new things to learn," Colin said. "But I'm glad to hear that you like my work." He directed his last statement toward Astoria.
"You've got quite a few fans out there," she said. "One of them is our son, actually. He has expressed an interest in taking pictures as well. He should be along in a minute."
Colin gave her another smile. "What room would you prefer to have the photos taken?"
"We have a small ballroom that I'd like to use. Scorpius likes to play there, so we're in that room most often. I thought it would be fitting."
"May I see it?" Colin asked. "Just to get a feel for the room."
"Of course. It's through this door," Astoria said.
Colin followed her into the next room and nearly gasped aloud. This was what she called a small ballroom? It was at least three times as large as the apartment he used to live in. The walls were beautifully painted with murals of people dancing in fancy dress robes. "It's brilliant," he said softly.
"You haven't seen the best part," Astoria said gleefully. She flicked her wand at the ceiling, and at once the night sky could be seen, stars twinkling in the distance.
Colin's mouth dropped open. "That must have cost a fortune! Spell work like that can only be done by those who study the art in depth."
Astoria flicked her wand again, and a beautiful sunny sky appeared. "Wow," Colin whispered.
"I thought perhaps you could take pictures with both the night sky and the sunny one?" Astoria asked.
"I can do that. If you would like, I can even edit some of them to appear to have been taken outside."
"You can do that?" Astoria sounded amazed. "I'd like that very much."
Colin nodded, feeling more at ease the longer he talked to Astoria. "It's just a bit of spell work," he said.
"Mum, is the picture person here?" A little voice burst through the door excitedly. Colin got his first look at Scorpius Malfoy: He was the splitting image of his Father, and Colin's heart constricted.
"Yes darling, he is," Astoria said. "Scorpius, this is Colin."
Colin watched as Scorpius straightened up and held out his hand respectfully. "Nice ta meet you, Colin. I'm Scorpius."
He shook the young boy's hand, internally laughing at how cute the kid was, attempting to introduce himself formally. "I'm happy to meet you," he said in a mock grave tone. "I'm told you're interested in photography too."
At this, Scorpius became excited. "I wanna take pictures just like you!" he exclaimed.
Colin smiled brightly at the child. "Would you like to watch me as I set up my equipment?"
Scorpius bounced up and down squealing, and Colin took that for a yes. He moved to start setting up, Draco's voice telling his son to settle down a bit drifting behind him. Colin worked quickly but efficiently, positioning the tripod and various lighting equipment in what he approximated was the middle of the room. Scorpius, he noticed, watched closely but quietly, although he did ask a question or two which Colin answered simply but in detail.
"Have you thought about what poses you'd like, or would you like me to be creative?" Colin asked as he put the final touches on the camera settings. The ceiling was still sunny, so he adjusted the lighting settings slightly.
"Be creative!" Astoria said cheerfully. "The house is large enough that perhaps half a dozen or so pictures would be lovely to have hanging in various places."
Colin nodded and looked over at the family, although he addressed his words to Astoria. "And do I have your permission to pose you as needed? I'll try to verbally direct you as much as possible, but there may be a time or two when it would be simpler to just arrange an arm myself, for example."
"Is that really necessary?" Draco asked. Colin looked at him. Draco had crossed his arms, his eyes showing reluctance.
"If you would prefer, I can simply instruct your wife on how to pose you," Colin said mildly. He kept looking at Draco, a slight challenge in his eyes as he continued. "I will do my best to speak my instructions, of course. But words occasionally don't express the proper tone of the photo I'm looking for."
Draco looked back at him a moment before looking away. "Do what you have to do," he said, and Colin heard the faint echo of a memory in his tone.
"Yes of course," Astoria said, her eyes somewhat puzzled as she glanced between her husband and Colin. "You have our permission."
"Right," Colin said. "Shall we start?"
"Yay!" Scorpius said happily.
Colin took shot after shot, often directing the family on where to stand and how to position their heads and arms. Astoria and Draco complied easily enough, but Scorpius had a hard time staying still, so it took some trial and error for Colin to take pictures that didn't turn out blurry.
"Right, would you mind changing the sky?" Colin asked. He began to adjust the camera settings as Astoria complied, her wand flicking upward, and at once the ceiling shifted to show the stars.
"Would you please all sit on the floor?" Colin said. He saw the three of them as they complied in his peripheral vision as he finished changing the lighting on his camera. "Astoria, bring Scorpius into your lap and lean into Draco...right...like that...lean a little more...Draco turn your head to look - yes, like that...Scorpius, can you look up at your Mum for me?"
Scorpius looked up, but not quite where Colin wanted him to look, so he moved to gently position his head properly. "And Draco, I'm going to adjust your shoulders...just like that..." Colin arranged Draco carefully, perhaps lingering a bit longer than necessary, and felt Draco shudder at his touch and allowed a brief moment of smugness to run through him before he returned to his camera.
A few dozen shots later (and a couple more moments of "positioning" Draco, because Colin just couldn't help himself; damn Draco was fit), Colin announced that he was finished. He didn't miss the brief look of relief on Draco's face before he schooled his features into a neutral expression once more.
"How long until the photographs are ready?" Astoria asked.
"Two or three days," Colin said. "I'll send them over as soon as I finish them."
"Thank you. And thank Terry Boot for us again too," Astoria added.
"Of course. Thank you for giving me this opportunity," Colin said.
"May I ask..." Astoria looked over at Scorpius, who was now playing with a train set off to the side of the ballroom. "Perhaps sometime would you like to show Scorpius a little bit about photography? He seemed to like you and I noticed he was watching what you were doing rather closely."
Colin saw Draco's stunned looking expression as he turned his head to look over at the little boy. "Does he have a camera?"
"Not yet. I haven't had the time to take him shopping."
"When you do, let him explore awhile with it and take a few pictures. Then I'll be able to see how much natural talent he has and be able to tailor my pointers a bit," Colin said.
"Thanks," Astoria said with a smile.
Colin smiled in return, and included Draco in on the smile too; Draco didn't smile back, and Colin could tell by his expression how tough this moment was for him. Even after all of this time he could read Draco like a book. It was almost comforting to know that no matter how much had changed, some things had stayed the same.
The moment Colin apparated home to Grimmauld Place he slid down to sit on the steps, his camera bag making a soft thump as it landed beside him. His hands moved up to cover his face as he took deep shuddering breaths as the pent up tension from the encounter left him. It had been hard to keep his cool and not let anyone see how difficult it had been for him to see Draco, to pretend that they hadn't once been closer than simply students in different years at Hogwarts. He'd thought he'd left behind his feelings for his Slytherin, left them behind in the past where Draco had once left him. And perhaps this was just nostalgia talking, the left over thoughts of what if that were going around his brain...
He sat for a long moment, sorting through his emotions and thoughts, and at last slowly stood up and picked up his camera bag. He'd carved out a wonderful life without Draco, a life with a career and a loving boyfriend, and yes, the road not taken was hard to face. But it would do him no good to wallow in a world that no longer existed. He took one last deep breath and walked into the house.
"Why did you have to ask him to teach Scorpius about photography?" Draco hissed. He was trying to keep his voice low because of their son playing in the room across the hall, but it was not easy. He'd thought that all he needed to do was get through this one meeting and then he could go back to pretending that Colin Creevey didn't exist. But now his wife was trying to make sure that didn't happen.
"Because I thought it would be nice for our son to learn more about something he's interested in!" Astoria cast a silencing spell before continuing. "And because Colin seemed to get along with him well. They had a connection, and Scorpius will learn better if he likes who is teaching him!"
Draco folded his arms and turned away. He wanted to shout at her but was afraid of what would come out of his mouth if he did. He closed his eyes.
"Draco." Astoria's calm tone reached him in his haze of fear, and he opened his eyes but didn't turn around. "Draco, what is this really about?"
He felt rooted to the spot, unable to move or speak. His past was still haunting his present, even after all this time - why couldn't he just live his life and leave the past in the past? He didn't know what to tell her that wouldn't be a lie.
"You don't have to tell me," Astoria continued softly. "I know you're not ready to talk about it. But Draco, please don't allow whatever is going on in your head to affect our son learning more about something he is interested in."
Shame filled him and his arms dropped to his sides. He turned around to face Astoria, who looked back at him with far too much understanding for his taste. Not trusting himself to speak, he gave her a jerky sort of nod. She touched his shoulder soothingly and left him alone with his thoughts.
Draco rubbed a hand across his face. Memories of the photo shoot came at him in flashes. Colin's eyes the first moment he'd looked at Draco. The way Colin's touch had ignited a part of him he hadn't known still existed as he moved Draco into position. The way Colin had seemed so at ease, as though he was unaffected by the knowledge of the relationship they used to share. The way his family had taken to Colin...he pressed his hand to his forehead as though to stop himself from remembering any more.
Pull it together, he thought. He'd created a decent life for himself after the fallout from the war. His parents had chosen a beautiful and intelligent wife for him that he'd grown to love, and they'd created an adorable child. His life was everything he'd ever wanted.
So why was he still struggling with the past?
The sound of the door squeaking open roused Colin from his slumber. He blinked groggily and turned in his chair to see Harry set down a small stack of files. "Is it eight already?" he asked, his voice thick from sleep.
"Quarter to," Harry responded. "I couldn't sit at my desk anymore so I brought a few files home to work on after dinner. Did I wake you?"
"Just a cat nap." Colin yawned. "I guess my day tired me out more than I'd realized."
"How did the photo shoot go?" Harry said as he shucked out of his trainers.
Colin sighed heavily. "Well, it went about as well as one could hope for. At least the kid was entertaining."
"What family was it?"
"The Malfoy family," Colin responded warily, and he eyed Harry cautiously.
Harry stilled for a moment, and Colin could see the visible effort he made not to comment. "I'm sure that was challenging," he said after a moment.
Colin shrugged. "Astoria did most of the talking. And their son was adorable. I was asked to give Scorpius some photography tips at some point, actually."
Harry folded his arms. "And are you going to do it?"
"I was thinking about it," Colin said. "Are you okay with that?"
"No," Harry said bluntly. "I don't want you anywhere near that Death Eater or his family."
"Ex Death Eater," Colin said quietly. "And if it's going to cause you problems, I won't do it - "
"It's fine," Harry said shortly. "I'm going to go take a shower."
Colin's stomach sank as he watched Harry disappear up the stairs. He knew Harry's strong feelings about Draco, but had hoped to share with him how kind Astoria had been and how inquisitive Scorpius was about photography. Perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned anything about it, but the wizarding community wasn't exactly very large, and it was possible that Harry may learn the information from another source anyway, especially given the various people Harry encountered through his profession.
Nearly an hour later, Kreacher informed him that dinner was on the table. "Would Master Colin want me to inform Master Harry?"
"I'll get him," Colin said. "Thanks Kreacher."
The Elf gave him a reluctant half nod and left. Colin sighed. Kreacher still wasn't fond of him, although per Harry's instructions never voiced such things.
Colin walked up the stairs. He wondered what to say to Harry. Should he just drop the topic? Pretend he never said anything? Or should he ask Harry to listen to what he wanted to say? Did it even matter? Maybe he shouldn't get involved in anything else to do with the Malfoy family.
The sound of Harry's agitated voice on the opposite side of the bathroom door drew him out of his thoughts, and Colin stopped to listen, his hand on the doorknob.
"Mustn't, can't, won't...mustn't, can't, won't..."
"Harry?" Colin tapped on the door lightly. "Are you okay?" He waited a moment for a reply, but it seemed as though Harry hadn't heard him, for his odd muttering continued without pause. Colin opened the door slowly to see Harry half dressed, golden snitches flashing at him from his pyjama bottoms. The scars on his chest from years of Auror work were prominent even covered by hair, his eyes closed as he gripped the sides of their sink. He was rocking back and forth as he repeated mustn't, can't, won't over and over.
"Harry?"
Harry's head snapped toward him, and Colin took in the anger and irritation in his boyfriend's eyes with unease. The atmosphere in the room felt charged with hostility, so much so that Colin felt stifled, and he almost took a step back.
As if sensing this, Harry shook his head at him. "Oh no you don't," he said, his tone mocking. Before Colin knew what had happened, Harry had walked the length of the bathroom and grabbed at him, holding him in place against the door. The wood slammed into Colin's cheek, and he cried out from the sudden pain.
"You don't leave me." Harry's voice was rough and full of a rage that Colin hadn't seen from him before.
"I thought you might need your space," Colin choked out without thinking. He felt like his brain was slow, struggling to catch up with how fast things had changed. He'd walked up here to tell Harry that dinner was ready, for Merlin's sake! How had they gotten here?
"You. Don't. Leave. Me." Harry repeated in a low growl, punctuating each word with a rough push further against the door, until Colin was having trouble breathing from being sandwiched so close between the smooth wood and Harry's body.
"I don't want to leave you Harry!" Colin managed to cry out with difficulty.
At this, Harry spun him around so that they were now eye to eye, but he kept Colin's arms pinned forcefully by the wrists. "Say it." he commanded. "Say it again."
Colin felt his heart pounding. There was no backing down from Harry's unrelenting stare. "I don't want to leave you Harry," he said again, his stomach twisting as he did so.
Harry's sharp gaze stayed locked on his own, and Colin didn't look away even though he wanted to with every fiber of his being. He forced shallow breaths out of his nose and tried to relax his tense muscles. A couple dozen breaths passed before Harry abruptly blinked and pulled away from Colin: His hands curled in on himself and he dropped to his knees at Colin's feet.
Colin was still trying to process the change when he heard the sounds of Harry crying, and the noise was enough to push away his fear. His need to comfort took over and he automatically moved to gather Harry in his arms.
"I'm - sorry - what -did -" Harry gulped out as he clutched at the front of Colin's shirt.
"Shhh, it's alright," Colin soothed. He felt numb, in shock; he knew that if he tried to process the last several minutes he'd break down too, so he pushed it away, focusing his attention on the man still sobbing in front of him.
"I'm sorry, " Harry said shakily when the tears finally abated. "I guess I was thinking too much about all of the people who left me during the war and they can't come back and I can't lose you too - "
"Shhh," Colin said again softly. "It's okay, I'm not leaving you, I understand, I'm right here..."
But as he held Harry close to him, he realized for the first time just how deeply Harry's wounds ran. He'd always believed that with enough love, anyone could pull through anything. Whatever lay ahead for them, he had a feeling that his belief was about to be put to the test.