Chapter 5: Struggling Thoughts

The thing about bullying is that the second it happens, it spreads like wildfire and it doesn't stop. Those you thought were your friends, will turn on you in an instant to avoid being bullied as well. I don't know why I thought Angela would be any different. Sure, she didn't join in, but she didn't do anything against it either.

I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I'd only known Angela for a few days. I had hoped this school would have been different. I knew it was only an amount of time before people found out I was gay. I should have expected this. That's what I get for not preparing myself for the blow out.

Dad had done some research before filling out an online application, or something like that, for the largest online school in Washington. I started Monday. He somehow managed to get me into the same classes I was taking at Forks, even PE! I had to take short videos and pics to prove I'm doing what I have to for the week. Way better than playing games and other things in large teams. I was never a big people person.

A chime on my phone made me smile. I had been looking at cool ideas for the tree house to take my mind off of school.

Alice: Mom just left! She's bringing my brothers with to help. Hope you have fun!

I send a quick thank you and sigh in relief. Good. So, she's still coming. She must have heard what happened at school from her kids and she was still willing to work with me. At least I can count on Esme. I had a feeling the Cullen's weren't homophobic like most of the town seemed to be.

Brother's!? Did that include Edward?!

With a squeak I rush around my room, trying to make myself presentable. I pause as I look in the mirror, my hand tangled in my hair. Why was I getting so excited and nervous to see Edward? I hardly knew the dude. And I don't even know if he was coming.

My face flushed. Holy shit, I have a crush! A hardcore crush! That's never happened before. Sure, I've thought guys were cute before, but I didn't crush on anyone before. Uh-oh.

I groan and drop my head against the wall. Instant regret. I hiss, pulling back to rub at my now red forehead. Ouch.

I trudge down stairs, ringing my hands together as I step up behind my dad. He's currently leaning over the kitchen counter, reading through some papers for the new school.

"Dad? Esme will be here soon. D-Did you want to help with the tree house?" I stumble over my words. I felt awful being the reason why my father was so stressed out right now.

Dad's shoulder's droop, his head hung, chin against his chest.

Slowly, he spun to face me. A smile crosses his lips and he watched me anxiously wring my hands, a habit of mine that I have always had.

"Nah. I have some things I need to go over. Luckily this school is free, so we can still afford that tree house of yours." He pulls me close and I nuzzle into his shirt. "You have fun, alright? Don't worry about me for today. Just-just have fun." He kisses my forehead before releasing me.

"Walking back the way I came; I pause at the kitchen entry. "Thanks dad. I love you."

"I love you too, Beau. Always."

Smiling softly, I head for the living room. Dad has always been my go-to person. We haven't even told mom yet about what happened. She would throw a fit and demand I'd come back.

I didn't even tell her about it when it was happening in Phoenix. She would have been devastated, cried, then went on a war path in the school. I didn't want to trouble her.

Sighing, I sit down on the couch and curl in on myself, pulling my knees up and under my chin, hugging my legs.

Maybe, just maybe, I could make some friends out of the Cullen's. Alice sure seemed dead set on us being friends. Maybe this project of mine will bring me closer to them. Especially if Esme insisted on having her sons help.

God knows I couldn't lift anything too heavy, and Esme... Well, I had no clue about Esme. I won't be sexist and say she can't because she's a girl, like most men would. No. I know what it's like to be judged, I won't do it to anyone else.

A small smile covers my lips just thinking about it. Esme's sons helping her lift anything too heavy for her.

I've never been very strong. My mom couldn't rely on me in that department. It's another reason why people bullied me. I was weak. Still am. I probably always will be. Back in Phoenix, kids at school called me a twink. Jerks.

The Cullen's were mysterious. Hearing about them at school, not many knew about them. I had steadily studied them over the week, trying to learn about them from a distance. They stuck to themselves, rarely ate anything in public, were all drop dead gorgeous and pale. They also had expensive looking clothes and cars, so they were at lease well off in the money department. Esme was a stay at home, home designer, while Carlisle was a well-respected doctor. No one knew where they lived. It was a mystery.

Edward kept popping back into my mind. Why was he gone the rest of the week, and why did I feel so drawn to him? He's said like, five words to me. Okay, yes, he was fucking gorgeous, super-hot even. But damn it, I didn't know anything about him as a person. I would love to get to know him though. Hopefully, he'll be coming over with his mom.

No doubt the big one, I think his name was Emmett, would be coming, and Alice did say brother's, as in plural. But that didn't mean all three were coming. It could just be Emmett and Jasper. I don't think Jasper is much of a people person though. I mean, none of them really are, but Jasper doesn't even look happy around others who aren't his family. It always looks like he's struggling not to attack or run away.

The doorbell rang, drawing me from my thoughts.

My clumsiness causes me to trip and face plant as I struggled to untangle my arms and legs. I stumble towards the front door.

Guess, there's only one way to find out which sons she brought.

Forcing my body towards the door, I grip the handle and turn it, slowly revealing the smiling beauty behind it. Her golden eyes seemed to smile at me as I semi-hid behind the door. Behind her stood the large one. He was the biggest guy I had ever seen in person, with short black hair and golden eyes as well. Looking past Emmett, I spot Jasper in all his glory as well. His shoulder length blonde hair seemed to shine in the non-existent sun light. His hand was grasping Emmett's shoulder.

My eyes made their way back to Esme, who was smiling so warmly at me.

"Hello, dear. You must be Beau, right? My name is Esme. I brought Emmett, Jasper, and Edward with me. May we come in?" She gestures to the men behind her and it is only then that I notice the form leaning against the post of out small deck, his arms crossed while looking off towards the road. At the sound of his name, his head tilts toward the door, our eyes meeting, brown clashing with a deep gold.

The only thing I could do was nod, moving aside to let them all in. I notice Esme carried a black brief case as she slid past my small form. Gosh, they were all so pretty.

Edward was the last to enter. "Beau." He gave a crooked smile and moved in, following after his siblings and mom.

His arm brushed mine and we both froze. He was cold, no, beyond cold. He was freezing! Tingles shot through my skin where we touched, and I jumped back in shock. I gripped my arm with my other, shifting side to side as I examined the patch of skin.

"Wha-" I begin, only to find my hand pulled away from the skin and into Edward's. The second our hands touched; the tingling started up once again before it became a warm, pleasant feeling. He was staring at our hands in awe while I was staring at him in confusion. So, he felt that as well? What was it?

I stood there in the entry way to my home, hand in hand with Edward. His family stood behind him, staring at us in shock. This god that stood in front of me was watching me as if I was his world and he couldn't believe what he had just found. What did I do to deserve such a look?

His eyes connected with mine, roaming over my face, mapping out every detail. His lips parted and the words he spoke hit me hard.

I had never even thought about it. I never thought it would happen, not to me. I mean, I was just poor little Beau, the bullied and tormented soul. I didn't deserve to have that connection with someone. It was so incredibly rare; it never even crossed my mind as a possibility.

"Found you, my soulmate."

My eyes rolled up into the back of my head, and I collapsed into ice cold arms, embracing the abyss as it consumed me.