Marianne POV
It's Tuesday evening. It's been a warm day in late June, and it's still warm when it's pitch black enough to see every star in the sky. This was always a windy spot here on the coast, making winters cold and icy. Right now, a warm wind is whipping off the white caps of the waves, blowing across the beach and up the hill to our cottage, making our strings of seashells rattle.
"Marianne! Aren't you coming in? You have a big day tomorrow", Elinor calls from the doorway.
She's right, I do. It's been peaceful as the days have passed by. My dress, entirely made of imported Alencon lace, with a mauve-pink velvet ribbon around the empire waist, is ready, sitting on a dress form in the living room.
The breeze blows my hair around. I turn to look at her. My beautiful sister with those high porcelain cheekbones and warm blue eyes, so similar to the color of the Colonel's. Like a clear summer sky.
"Everyone thinks a bride with circles under her eyes has been up to no good", Mother calls, from the living room, making us all laugh.
"I'll be there in a moment", I insist. I require alone time more than the rest of my family. Elinor can be so quiet for so long, but she needs society. I've learned it's sometimes better to handle my intense emotions by myself before turning them on others.
The warm night caresses me like a shawl. Tomorrow night, it will be the Colonel's hands caressing me. I have no doubt he is somewhat experienced. No man his age, especially a world traveler, could not be. But I don't see him as a great seducer. Too little charisma and too many manners. But I love him exactly the way he is.
From the corner of my eye, something skitters across my vision. Near the little waterfall and salt water pond, where Margaret tries to catch tadpoles...something flitting by in the dark, invisible in the blackness. "Marianne", glides through the breeze.
If I ran out there into the darkness right now, I would not get far before I was caught up in his arms. The man I had loved so passionately. This was it, my absolute last chance if I wanted him. If I wanted to be Mrs. Willoughby, talk Shakespeare by the hour, and live in the incomparable Allenham someday, that is if he didn't insult his aunt again at some point. I could run headlong, blind into the pitch dark and be somewhere else by day break.
I turned, and went inside, closing the door firmly behind me.
The wedding was a whirlwind. We had gone with a parish near Barton Park where Edward would be pastor. Edward married us, and spoke of how much we all loved each other. How wonderful it was to welcome the Colonel to the family. There wasn't a dry eye in the church.
Elinor wore a dress the same color as the ribbon around my waist and carried irises. I carried an armful of my favorite peonies, which filled the church and Barton Park, where the reception was held, thanks to the Colonel's greenhouse growing them nonstop.
The Middletons provided luncheon—a feast of game and local dishes, with 8 deserts, my wedding cake made by Mrs. Jennings herself. Mrs. Jennings talked nonstop and made crass allusions to our wedding night, repeating what she'd said to my mother, "They'll be some big sons she'll be carrying." Ugh. Of course it reminded me with pride that my new husband was 6'2, and towered over most men.
I'd seen the way he'd stared with longing at Charlotte Palmer's newborn. He did want children, but feared he'd never have them. I hope we can have some, not too many, I'd like to see them grow up.
Everyone wanted to give a toast—Sir John talked endlessly of how many times he caught the Colonel staring at me, and the poor man turned red. My mother thanked the Middletons for their generosity, or we never would have met. The Colonel also thanked the Middletons, and everyone sighed when he toasted "the most beautiful bride in the world." My stomach fluttered I admit.
Mrs. Jennings assured me the Colonel "could keep up with me" on our wedding night, and every single person turned red or looked away. Sir Middleton privately thanked Christopher for all the game; I should have known he provided it.
We danced country dances for hours, exhausting ourselves, and we were all a bit tipsy when my mother and sisters hugged me. Elinor held me long and kissed me, and wished me well, and I told her it would be her turn very shortly.
Rather than riding alongside the carriage, the Colonel and I passed the miles between the new parish and Delaford together in our rose covered carriage. He would jump and apologize awkwardly whenever we touched. It was adorable. I took his hand and squeezed. He stared at me shyly, and squeezed my hand back.
Now, he steps out of the carriage and sweeps me up in his arms. I put an arm around his shoulders. He carries me as if I weigh nothing up to the door and across the threshold. He sets me down gently, but I don't want to end our embrace.
His servants are lined up in the foyer. His jewel-box house does not have a large footprint, and seemed dwarfed by the likes of Norland and Allenham, but it rises several stories into the air, making it taller than either.
I recognize Beryl. There are four maids, whose names I forget instantly, and six men, most of whom work on the grounds outside, or help my husband with this or that.
"This is your new mistress", the Colonel announces with pride, "Mrs. Brandon. You will treat her word as my own." Hmmm, they are to obey me without question, and without asking him first.
"I've asked Beryl to have a light repast ready for us. We ate hours ago, and have been doing much dancing and imbibing", he says with a smile. She scurries off to get it ready.
My stomach. I'm so very nervous. How bad will it hurt? What if I hate it? What if I hate him? This is the rest of my life, whether I personally enjoy it or not.
"I don't think I could..."
"Try", he says with a persuasive smile. He whispers against my ear. "While it is important we consummate our marriage soon, otherwise someone could take you away from me, we have time. It is not essential anything happens tonight. Your things are already set up in the master bedroom, and I will take my old childhood room until you are ready for me. I will never pressure you. I will never touch you unless you ask..."
"I'm asking", I say, glass after glass of wine making me bold. He stares open-mouthed for a moment. His body seems to...change. I feel the organ between his legs press against me.
The maids scatter like chickens.
"I'm sorry", he insists, pushing me from him. "I..." He's lost. My poor darling. He loves me beyond his own senses. He seems to have forgotten where he is as he stares at me.
"I will try", I answer, shocking him out of it. "The dining room", I mention. He holds out his arm, and I take it.
He sits at one end of the enormous dining room table, and I at the other. It feels like miles between us. It's so odd to be eating dinner here—without my mother or any other guests. In truth, this is my home now. I am...in charge of running it, though it certainly doesn't feel that way.
We both have soup with meat, bread, and cheese. Then we go into the parlor and I play a few songs on the piano for him. Then he gets up and turns my pages for me. We talk about the wedding, we talk about going to Elinor and Edward's wedding next week. I thank him again for paying Edward's salary and providing a parish for him.
"He's such a good man", I tell him "I admire—as you do—that he kept his promise to Lucy Steele even though it cost him his fortune, even though he loved my sister."
"He is everything a man should be", Christopher confirms, "good and honest and noble to a fault. But surely you know, it was for you. It's all for you."
He looks embarrassed to have confessed it. Then he reaches out and offers me his hand, still nervous I may refuse it.
I reach out and take it, and smile as he lifts me to my feet. "I shall linger here at bit", he says, and I notice the sun has sunk. "If you would like to...go upstairs."