p id="docs-internal-guid-30e25d54-7fff-3795-6e77-91bce91da2cf" dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She kicked her shoes off before she was even halfway through her front door, not bothering to untie the laces. All Sarah wanted to do was sit down and try and forget that that appointment had just happened, to pretend that she hadn't just told Janeen all the things she didn't want her to know./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was nothing she could do - Sarah wasn't a risk to herself or others - but she knew about the baby now, and even thinking about it made Sarah's skin crawl. She hadn't meant to tell anyone, especially not her therapist, but now that she had she couldn't pretend it wasn't happening anymore/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"With a frustrated sigh, she made her way through to the kitchen, stopping at the freezer to grab a box of mozzarella sticks. She was tired, hormonal, and hungry, and it had been almost four hours since she'd had lunch. Most of it had ended up in a toilet in her therapist's office, so it wasn't really a surprise that she was starting to feel like shit./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"While she waited for the oven to heat up, she got started on a cup of ginger tea, trying to settle her stomach. This was the worst symptom, she had decided. It wasn't just the being sick that she hated - that on its own she could cope with. It was the fact that it was paired with a constant, almost hungover feeling, and even the smell of most of the food she used to love now turned her stomach. She hated it all with a passion, and she couldn't wait for it to be over, preferably sooner rather than later./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Mug in hand, she headed for her bedroom, desperate to change into something more comfortable. She had a headache from having her hair up all day, and she couldn't wait to get out of her jeans, which were slightly too tight and just starting to dig in in all the worst places./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was an old t-shirt thrown over the back of the chair in her room, a band shirt that she'd had since she was a teenager. She only really wore it as pyjamas now, but she wasn't planning on going out again today so she threw it on, relaxing into the soft cotton and the feeling of safety it provided./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The jeans came off straight after, and Sarah didn't feel the need to replace them with anything. Her shirt was big enough that it came down to her mid-thighs, and she was home alone anyway, so it's not like it mattered. It felt nicer like this, not having anything clinging to her legs, so once her hair was down, bobby pins lined up neatly on her nightstand, she went back out to the kitchen to put the mozzarella sticks in the oven./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The few sips of tea she'd managed while she was changing had already done wonders for her stomach, and it suddenly hit her how hungry she actually was. She set the timer for ten minutes, then leant back against the counter, scrolling through her phone. All her friends - both from college, and the few she'd made here in Chicago - seemed to be out doing things and having fun, and after a couple of minutes of looking through endless posts showing her friends having normal lives, she had to put the phone down. It was too much, seeing what she was missing out on, what she could be doing now, and just made her angrier at her situation./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She bent down to check her food, and as she stood up again, the calendar on the wall caught her eye. She'd used it obsessively when she first moved in, but now she was lucky if she remembered to put anything on there at all. There were a couple of things written down - each of her sessions with Janeen, the time written neatly underneath, and the name of a cafe next to a friend she hadn't spoken to in weeks, for this weekend. She'd already cancelled, so she wasn't sure why she hadn't crossed it out yet./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"But there was one thing that was out of place. The name of her doctor, written in thick, black Sharpie in the box three days away - her first prenatal appointment. The sight of it made her want to curl up in bed and cry for a week, and it took everything in her not to cancel this as well. The only thing stopping her was the anxiety that came with calling up; she'd struggled enough booking it in the first place that the thought of calling again almost made her break out in a cold sweat. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Before she could be sucked deeper into her thoughts, the timer went off, forcing her to take a moment away from the mess in her head. She put the mozzarella sticks on a plate and carried them into the living room, then put the TV on and curled up on the couch./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I wish Ava was here./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The thought came out of nowhere, and it was harder to shake off than Sarah liked. Ava was sweet, and Sarah was pretty sure she liked her beyond just their hookups, but she had no idea if she'd feel the same once she found out about the baby. All she knew was that she couldn't handle a rejection like that, not now, and there was no reason for ruining what they had over something that might not even be a problem in a few weeks./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"No, there was no point in inviting Ava round. She was going to do what she'd told Janeen - make the most of the time they had together, work out what she was doing about her /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"situation,/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" and go from there./span/p
hr /
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The next three days were a blur of working and studying, so much so that Sarah hardly had any time to be anxious about her upcoming appointment. Even when she had time to herself, she did everything she could to not think about it, to the point that when she was sitting in the hard plastic chair in the waiting room, she had the sudden realisation that she wasn't prepared for this appointment at all./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She had a million questions, and no idea how to articulate them all without sounding stupid, and /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"oh god I shouldn't be here, I should have stayed at home, they're going to think I'll be a shit mom, but I don't even know if I /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"want/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" to be a mom, and-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sarah? Sarah Reese?" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"A nurse stood at the front of the waiting room, clipboard in hand as she scanned the room. It was unusually quiet, and her eyes quickly settled on Sarah, offering her a soft smile as she hesitantly got out of her seat and made her way over./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She followed the nurse down a corridor, to a room she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with, trying the whole time to resist the urge to just bolt. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It would be easier to just go,/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" she thought to herself, but she knew she'd have to do this at some point. Best to just get it over with now./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The nurse handed her a gown to change into, and told her that she had a couple of tests to run once she was done, while they waited for the doctor. It was basic stuff - blood pressure, heart rate, taking blood and urine samples - and she knew that in a couple of years she'd be learning to do all that and more, but it still freaked her out more than she thought it would./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"After what felt like an eternity of being prodded and poked, Dr Ramsey - Kate, as she insisted on being called - turned up, all warm smiles and reassuring words. She confirmed that Sarah /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"was/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" pregnant, as if the five tests and constant nausea weren't enough proof, then ran through an extensive list of questions, most of which Sarah didn't have the answers for./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "I can give you an ultrasound now, if you want."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The questions had stopped a while back, and Kate had since moved on to the different options available if keeping the baby wasn't on the table. Sarah was still exhausted, and despite her best efforts had almost completely zoned out; it was only hearing Kate say /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"ultrasound/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" that brought her back to the conversation./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sure." She forced a smile, hoping it would hide how nervous she actually was. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It must have done the job, because Kate got everything set up without saying anything, aside from a warning that she might feel some slight discomfort. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was too focused on the screen in front of her to say much else, presumably trying to get a good view of the baby - /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Sarah's/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" baby. She didn't even know if it /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"a baby at this point, or if she wanted to think of it as one, or-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "You can take a look now."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kate had angled the screen towards Sarah, with the little being inside of her on full display in black and white. It was… a lot, seeing it right there in front of her, and she struggled to process the mess of emotions she was feeling. She'd never planned on being a mom, wasn't sure if she even wanted it, but watching the tiny grey blob move on the screen next to her head, hearing its heartbeat for the first time, something clicked. She still wasn't entirely certain, but the part of her telling her that she could be a good mom was louder now, and she felt more of an urge to listen to it than she had when she'd woken up that morning./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was some more basic information Kate ran through with her, and as she left with a bunch of leaflets and a printout of the sonogram tucked safely away in her purse, she went over it all again in her head. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was eight weeks pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby, who, according to one of the leaflets, was currently about the same size as a raspberry. Her due date was less than a week before Christmas, which she wasn't entirely happy about, but she'd deal with it later. For now, all she wanted to do was go home and sleep./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"When she got to her car, she took a moment to herself before starting the engine, using the opportunity to glance again at the sonogram. None of it had seemed real until now, and suddenly she was crying out of something between joy and fear. She was having a baby. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was having a baby. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Even those words seemed foreign, and the idea of herself as somebody's /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"mom/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" felt strange, like she was thinking about someone else. It didn't feel like her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"By the time she pulled up outside her apartment block, she'd decided she had to tell her ex. Not now, of course - she was tired, and she was planning on just watching TV for a few hours and then going to bed before ten - but in the morning. The baby wasn't just some abstract concept anymore, or a possibility, something that might happen. She wanted it, and he at least deserved to know./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It didn't take her long to get bored of flicking through endless channels, searching for something even slightly entertaining to distract herself with, so eventually, she just gave up. She was in bed by nine, and slept for almost ten hours, only waking when her body decided to send her rushing to the bathroom, hand clasped over her mouth. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Once she'd got herself cleaned up, she spent the next few hours pottering around her apartment, tidying it up a bit, and counting down the minutes until she knew her ex would be awake. He hardly slept, at least not when they were together, so as soon as her phone hit nine am she was dialling his number, trying desperately not to talk herself out of it. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It rang once, twice, three times before he picked up, and as soon as she heard the familiar sound of his breathing, she froze. She couldn't do this, couldn't invite him back into her life, couldn't-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sarah?"/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was nothing she could do - Sarah wasn't a risk to herself or others - but she knew about the baby now, and even thinking about it made Sarah's skin crawl. She hadn't meant to tell anyone, especially not her therapist, but now that she had she couldn't pretend it wasn't happening anymore/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"With a frustrated sigh, she made her way through to the kitchen, stopping at the freezer to grab a box of mozzarella sticks. She was tired, hormonal, and hungry, and it had been almost four hours since she'd had lunch. Most of it had ended up in a toilet in her therapist's office, so it wasn't really a surprise that she was starting to feel like shit./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"While she waited for the oven to heat up, she got started on a cup of ginger tea, trying to settle her stomach. This was the worst symptom, she had decided. It wasn't just the being sick that she hated - that on its own she could cope with. It was the fact that it was paired with a constant, almost hungover feeling, and even the smell of most of the food she used to love now turned her stomach. She hated it all with a passion, and she couldn't wait for it to be over, preferably sooner rather than later./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Mug in hand, she headed for her bedroom, desperate to change into something more comfortable. She had a headache from having her hair up all day, and she couldn't wait to get out of her jeans, which were slightly too tight and just starting to dig in in all the worst places./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was an old t-shirt thrown over the back of the chair in her room, a band shirt that she'd had since she was a teenager. She only really wore it as pyjamas now, but she wasn't planning on going out again today so she threw it on, relaxing into the soft cotton and the feeling of safety it provided./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The jeans came off straight after, and Sarah didn't feel the need to replace them with anything. Her shirt was big enough that it came down to her mid-thighs, and she was home alone anyway, so it's not like it mattered. It felt nicer like this, not having anything clinging to her legs, so once her hair was down, bobby pins lined up neatly on her nightstand, she went back out to the kitchen to put the mozzarella sticks in the oven./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The few sips of tea she'd managed while she was changing had already done wonders for her stomach, and it suddenly hit her how hungry she actually was. She set the timer for ten minutes, then leant back against the counter, scrolling through her phone. All her friends - both from college, and the few she'd made here in Chicago - seemed to be out doing things and having fun, and after a couple of minutes of looking through endless posts showing her friends having normal lives, she had to put the phone down. It was too much, seeing what she was missing out on, what she could be doing now, and just made her angrier at her situation./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She bent down to check her food, and as she stood up again, the calendar on the wall caught her eye. She'd used it obsessively when she first moved in, but now she was lucky if she remembered to put anything on there at all. There were a couple of things written down - each of her sessions with Janeen, the time written neatly underneath, and the name of a cafe next to a friend she hadn't spoken to in weeks, for this weekend. She'd already cancelled, so she wasn't sure why she hadn't crossed it out yet./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"But there was one thing that was out of place. The name of her doctor, written in thick, black Sharpie in the box three days away - her first prenatal appointment. The sight of it made her want to curl up in bed and cry for a week, and it took everything in her not to cancel this as well. The only thing stopping her was the anxiety that came with calling up; she'd struggled enough booking it in the first place that the thought of calling again almost made her break out in a cold sweat. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Before she could be sucked deeper into her thoughts, the timer went off, forcing her to take a moment away from the mess in her head. She put the mozzarella sticks on a plate and carried them into the living room, then put the TV on and curled up on the couch./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I wish Ava was here./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The thought came out of nowhere, and it was harder to shake off than Sarah liked. Ava was sweet, and Sarah was pretty sure she liked her beyond just their hookups, but she had no idea if she'd feel the same once she found out about the baby. All she knew was that she couldn't handle a rejection like that, not now, and there was no reason for ruining what they had over something that might not even be a problem in a few weeks./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"No, there was no point in inviting Ava round. She was going to do what she'd told Janeen - make the most of the time they had together, work out what she was doing about her /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"situation,/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" and go from there./span/p
hr /
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The next three days were a blur of working and studying, so much so that Sarah hardly had any time to be anxious about her upcoming appointment. Even when she had time to herself, she did everything she could to not think about it, to the point that when she was sitting in the hard plastic chair in the waiting room, she had the sudden realisation that she wasn't prepared for this appointment at all./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She had a million questions, and no idea how to articulate them all without sounding stupid, and /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"oh god I shouldn't be here, I should have stayed at home, they're going to think I'll be a shit mom, but I don't even know if I /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"want/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" to be a mom, and-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sarah? Sarah Reese?" /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"A nurse stood at the front of the waiting room, clipboard in hand as she scanned the room. It was unusually quiet, and her eyes quickly settled on Sarah, offering her a soft smile as she hesitantly got out of her seat and made her way over./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She followed the nurse down a corridor, to a room she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with, trying the whole time to resist the urge to just bolt. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It would be easier to just go,/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" she thought to herself, but she knew she'd have to do this at some point. Best to just get it over with now./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The nurse handed her a gown to change into, and told her that she had a couple of tests to run once she was done, while they waited for the doctor. It was basic stuff - blood pressure, heart rate, taking blood and urine samples - and she knew that in a couple of years she'd be learning to do all that and more, but it still freaked her out more than she thought it would./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"After what felt like an eternity of being prodded and poked, Dr Ramsey - Kate, as she insisted on being called - turned up, all warm smiles and reassuring words. She confirmed that Sarah /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"was/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" pregnant, as if the five tests and constant nausea weren't enough proof, then ran through an extensive list of questions, most of which Sarah didn't have the answers for./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "I can give you an ultrasound now, if you want."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The questions had stopped a while back, and Kate had since moved on to the different options available if keeping the baby wasn't on the table. Sarah was still exhausted, and despite her best efforts had almost completely zoned out; it was only hearing Kate say /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"ultrasound/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" that brought her back to the conversation./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sure." She forced a smile, hoping it would hide how nervous she actually was. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It must have done the job, because Kate got everything set up without saying anything, aside from a warning that she might feel some slight discomfort. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was too focused on the screen in front of her to say much else, presumably trying to get a good view of the baby - /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Sarah's/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" baby. She didn't even know if it /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"a baby at this point, or if she wanted to think of it as one, or-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "You can take a look now."/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kate had angled the screen towards Sarah, with the little being inside of her on full display in black and white. It was… a lot, seeing it right there in front of her, and she struggled to process the mess of emotions she was feeling. She'd never planned on being a mom, wasn't sure if she even wanted it, but watching the tiny grey blob move on the screen next to her head, hearing its heartbeat for the first time, something clicked. She still wasn't entirely certain, but the part of her telling her that she could be a good mom was louder now, and she felt more of an urge to listen to it than she had when she'd woken up that morning./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"There was some more basic information Kate ran through with her, and as she left with a bunch of leaflets and a printout of the sonogram tucked safely away in her purse, she went over it all again in her head. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was eight weeks pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby, who, according to one of the leaflets, was currently about the same size as a raspberry. Her due date was less than a week before Christmas, which she wasn't entirely happy about, but she'd deal with it later. For now, all she wanted to do was go home and sleep./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"When she got to her car, she took a moment to herself before starting the engine, using the opportunity to glance again at the sonogram. None of it had seemed real until now, and suddenly she was crying out of something between joy and fear. She was having a baby. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She was having a baby. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Even those words seemed foreign, and the idea of herself as somebody's /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"mom/spanspan style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" felt strange, like she was thinking about someone else. It didn't feel like her./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"By the time she pulled up outside her apartment block, she'd decided she had to tell her ex. Not now, of course - she was tired, and she was planning on just watching TV for a few hours and then going to bed before ten - but in the morning. The baby wasn't just some abstract concept anymore, or a possibility, something that might happen. She wanted it, and he at least deserved to know./span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It didn't take her long to get bored of flicking through endless channels, searching for something even slightly entertaining to distract herself with, so eventually, she just gave up. She was in bed by nine, and slept for almost ten hours, only waking when her body decided to send her rushing to the bathroom, hand clasped over her mouth. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Once she'd got herself cleaned up, she spent the next few hours pottering around her apartment, tidying it up a bit, and counting down the minutes until she knew her ex would be awake. He hardly slept, at least not when they were together, so as soon as her phone hit nine am she was dialling his number, trying desperately not to talk herself out of it. /span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It rang once, twice, three times before he picked up, and as soon as she heard the familiar sound of his breathing, she froze. She couldn't do this, couldn't invite him back into her life, couldn't-/span/p
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 10pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Cabin,sans-serif; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Sarah?"/span/p