Seven months. That's how long it had been since the attack on New York City by Loki and the Chitauri. Seven months since Clint had his mind taken hostage. Seven long months since the man was imprisoned inside his own body. Inside his own mind. He could still see and feel everything. It's a feeling he never wanted to experience again. He was forced to watch as his own body betray him and hurt people, hurt his own friends and other SHIELD agents. He tried to kill his best friend and the worst part is, Natasha didn't hold him accountable for it. No, scratch that. That wasn't the worst part. He couldn't bare to even think about things he'd done behind closed doors. The things Loki made him do. He felt so much guilt for all this bullshit for seven fucking months and he hadn't voiced a bit of it. He put on a brave face for his fellow SHIELD agents and even lied to his team. He lied to the other Avengers. Told them he was fine. He knew they didn't believe him, especially Nat. They were too smart for that...Had guilt of their own...Things they regretted doing, but at least it had been their choice to do them in the first place. Clint didn't have that luxury.

In those seven months, Clint kept the guilt pent up inside him. Kept that fake, fraudulent smile on his face, just like they all did. He continued his work for SHIELD. Mission after mission, with no time off. The more time he spent keeping himself busy...distracted... the less time he had to think about the crippling guilt that was eating away at him little by little. He spent less time with Natasha and more time going on solo missions. His best friend and partner tried to hide how hurt she felt by his avoidance, but he could still read her like a book and it only added to his overwhelming guilt. He had a lot he needed to get off his chest and no way to do it.

"I need to speak to him."

"By him you mean..."

"Loki."

"Clint...I don't think that's a good idea." Natasha tried to be the voice of reason. "Besides, he in prison on Asgard."

"Then place a collect call to Thor's long distance ass and get him down here." Clint was not in the mood to be talked down to.

"It's not that easy, Clint. Besides do you really want that man back on Earth after everything he did?" The red head asked.

"Of course not, but I can go there and speak with him."

The former Russian spy stood in front of him, as he sat on the bench, against the wall of the Avengers new training room. "Do you really want to do that?"

"I feel like I have too." The archer nodded slowly. "Nat, I just can't let it go. I need to know why..."

"You were convenient, Clint." She reasoned. "You were just there. Wrong place, wrong time type a thing. He knew he could use you to hurt us."

Barton knew that Natasha had no idea what he was talking about. She assumed he was wondering why Loki chose to possess him out of all people, but that wasn't the case. That wasn't what he wanted to question the trickster god about at all, but of course, he couldn't tell his partner that. He couldn't tell any of them. They would never look at him the same way again.

"I need this, Nat" He felt like he was admitting to a failure. Maybe he was.

Natasha seemed to be observing him for a long time before finally breaking her gaze away. "Okay. I'll see what I can do. Thor isn't the easiest to get a hold of when he's off world, but maybe Jane Foster or Professor Selvig will know how to get a hold of him. I can't make any promises, Clint. Thor may not even agree to it."

Clint nodded. "I know. I know it's a shot in the dark and probably a stupid one, but I have to try."

His partner nodded. "Okay. I'll give them a call." She said softly and left the room, leaving Clint with a cyclone of emotions roaring around inside his chest.

A week past with no word from Foster or Selvig and Clint was starting to think he'd have to live with the guilt forever. He honestly felt like it was ripping him a part from the inside out. If this didn't work, then he would ask Professor Xavier to erase the memories of that week. He didn't want to live with them. He didn't want to have to keep hiding things from his team mates. He felt like he wouldn't be able to breath if he couldn't talk to someone about it and who else could he talk to other then the man who made him do those things in the first place.

He was taking out his aggression and pent up frustrations in the training room, shooting arrow after arrow at moving targets. He even had a few rounds with the heavy bag. Stark really had gone all out in designing this place to help the team.

The archer heard the door open and turned to see Natasha walking toward him. She had a troubled look on her face.

"Let me guess...Thor said no." The man said as he walked over to grab his water bottle off the bench and look a long drink, before using a small towel to wipe the sweat from his face.

"I wish." She sighed. "He'll be here in a few hours to get you."

Clint blue eyes widened and he had to sit down to be able to process what his partner had said. "He said yes?"

"I wish he wouldn't have." The woman said bluntly. "I don't think this is a good idea, Clint."

Barton could tell that his friend was confused and even scared for him, but she wouldn't voice it. "Nat. I'll be fine. Loki can't hurt me anymore. He's in prison. I just want to talk to him for a little while and try and make some sense out of things."

Natasha was silent for a long time. "You better not be lying to me, Barton." She stated. "I can't begin to understand why, after everything that man did, that you would want to even look at him again, but...but if this is something you need to do for your own peace of mind, then at least be safe about it. Let Thor stay with you."

Clint gave her a soft playful smile. "Nat, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me."

"preposterous."

"Sure, Nat. You keep telling yourself that." Barton countered. "I'm gonna go shower and get ready before Thor arrives."

Clint was freshly showered and dressed by the time the Bifrost opened up on the front lawn of the new Avengers facility. Something Tony was not going to be very happy about, but at the moment, the archer couldn't care less. He was more focused on the god of thunder that was now walking toward where he stood with Natasha.

"Are you ready, Barton?" His voice very serious for once in his life.

Clint nodded. "More then ready. Let's get this over with."

Thor nodded and gestured to the large circle of burnt grass. Clint walked forward with the large god trailing slightly behind him at a slower pace, as if giving him time to change his mind and back out. Part of him wanted to. A small part of him was afraid to see Loki again. It was that part of him that felt the tiny, stinging spark of panic well up in his chest at the mere thought of seeing the trickster god again after seven months. The other part needed to see him again. He needed to know that what he felt...was a lie.

He stopped in the center of the circle. "I'm ready." He said quietly, but Thor seemed to hear him just fine, as he nodded. Suddenly they were surround by a bright golden light. It was the strangest feeling, like he was being pulled apart and put back together in just a few seconds. When the light faded, he had dropped to one knee to catch his breath.

"You did much better then most people their first time through the bifrost." Thor said, with a slight chuckle. "Most people vomit."

"Thanks for that little note of information, but I'm not most people." Clint said as he got back to his feet.

The god had his serious face back on. "No, you are not." He agreed. "Most people, after what you went through, would have wanted my brother dead, but not you."

Clint hung his head for a moment, unable to make eye contact with Thor. "No, not me." He agreed. "I just wanna talk with him."

Thor nodded and lead the way. There were horses waiting for them for the long trek across the bridge. Barton was no stranger to riding, having grown up on the family farm, so he had no trouble keeping up. Once they arrived at the main gates of the palace the two dismounted and Clint followed Thor inside and down a stone staircase. He didn't take the time to appreciate the grande architecture of the place. His only focus was on halting the, once again, panic that was trying to escape his stomach. His throat felt tight and for a moment he wondered if Thor could hear his rapid heart pounding in his chest.

The closer they got to Loki's prison the more anxious Clint felt. When they finally came to the bottom of the stairs, a glass wall came into view. Beyond it stood the trickster god. Abruptly all the archers panic was gone. Once his blue eyes met green, he felt...calm. But how could that be? Why? He should terrified! Angry! Furious! He should be petrified of this man...but he wasn't. His heart was now beating at an acceptable rate. His feet quit moving once he was face to face with the man who had used him.

"Can you give us some time, Thor?" He asked, not breaking eye contact with Loki.

"I don't think that would be wise, Barton." He said, watching the intense way the two were staring at one another.

"I'll be fine. He can't hurt me from in there." Clint pointed out. "And there are some things I'd like to say that are...well, private."

The god of thunder took a deep breath a let out a weary sigh. "Are long as you don't tell Romanoff. She told me not to leave you alone."

"Don't worry about Nat. She won't hear it from me." The man said, still unable to look away from those captivating green eyes. Was he once again under his spell?

"Alright. Just call out if you need assistance." Thor said and started to climb the stairs again.

Clint didn't know how long he stood there, holding on to the eyes of the trickster. He found himself not wanting to let them go. The man before him looked exactly how he did seven months ago. Immaculate and perfect, not one hair out of place. The more he gazed into them the more his agitated body seem to simmer down. The hurricane inside him subsided. He suddenly felt like all his frustration had drained out of him and he was left feeling tired and lethargic. Or maybe it was all of the sleepless nights he spent avoiding his own nightmares, catching up with him.

Now that he was finally face to face with the man that haunted his every waking and sleeping moment, he felt breathless. He had gone over and over what he wanted to say to Loki if he got the chance, but now that he was here, standing two feet from him, he couldn't find the words. They seemed to be trapped inside his chest. Finally he broke eye contact and start to pace back and forth in front of the glass wall. The storm inside him boiling back up as soon as he looked away. He hands were shaking, so he shoved them into his jacket pockets.

"You should say what you came to say, Agent Barton." His voice broke the silence. That voice that hit him like a ton of bricks and he couldn't suppress the shiver that slithered down his spine.

The archer tensed up, but still, said nothing. He pace for a good fifteen minute before taking a deep breath and turned to sit on the cold stone floor, with his back against the glass. closing the distance between them a bit seemed to calm the raging storm inside him, just a little. He didn't understand why being this close to a man who used him like a puppet, made him feel...safe. He should want this man to pay for what he did to him, but right now, all he wanted was for his mind to shut the fuck up. He needed the quiet and that wasn't something he could get back home.

"Well, fine, if you won't speak, I will." The smooth voice said from behind him.

"Please don't." Clint finally spoke. "I just need quiet...Just for a little while."

Barton was expecting the trickster to come back at him with a sarcastic comment about how he didn't give two shits about what he needed, but there was nothing but silence that followed his plee. He didn't know how long he sat there, his arms folded and his head resting on his knees, almost like a little kid, curled up in a corner. He just felt so tired. He came here for a reason, but the moment he set eyes on Loki, all reason flew out the window. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, he lifted his head.

"Why?" He asked quietly.

He was met with another moment of silence.

"Why what, Agent Barton?" Loki asked from where he'd taken a seat against the glass as well, behind Clint. The two were now effectively sitting back to back.

"Don't play fucking games with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about." Clint said, growing frustrated with the tricksters run around. "Why?"

"Because you were worthy."

"Worthy?" The archer asked, exasperated. "Are you fucking serious?!"

"Yes, Agent Barton, I am quite serious." Loki spoke in his smooth accented voice, not once raising his tone, not matter how much the Avenger cursed at him. "I'd been watching you all for a while before leading an army into your little city. You, of all the others, proved worthy of my time, respect, and...everything I had to offer."

"You're a sick fuck, you know that." Clint growled.

"I took you because I immediately knew you had something the others did not; You had heart. You were going to help me rule the world. Do not let the others fool you. You were not 'compromised' as they put it. You were spared."

"If that's what you call 'spared', then I would have rather died." Clint was a professional liar. It's what he did for a living as a SHIELD agent, but never had words felt more wrong on his tongue.

"You cannot lie to me, Agent Barton. I'm am the god of lies." Loki spoke. "I'm a part of you now. No matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of me and I would wager that you wouldn't want to, would you?"

"You stay the fuck out of my head, asshole!" The archer shouted. "You have no idea what I want."

"Oh, come on, Agent." Loki teased in a low tone, that, again, made him shiver. "You can't tell me that you didn't feel anything. Wasn't it easier for you under my rule? You had me for protection and guidance. You were safe with me. Can you say that about your trusted SHIELD?"

Barton fell silent as he actually took the time to process the tricksters words. In a way, he was correct. Clint didn't trust SHIELD. He never felt safe with them, whether he was at home or on a mission. He always had the thought in the back of his head that they could take him out if he ever made a mistake or refused an order. He...he didn't feel that way while under Loki's control. He hated to admit it, but he had felt safe under the gods rule. No matter what happened his knew, deep in his soul, that Loki would have protected him. The trickster was never cruel to any under his command. Strict, yes, but cruel...never.

"So you see, Agent Barton." Loki broke him out of his whirling thoughts once again. "I wasn't so bad, now was I?

"You killed numerous people in a matter of days."

"That...was unfortunate." That accented voice actually seemed to have ting of regret in it. "And not my intention."

Clint believed him. Something about the way he spoke, told the archer that it wasn't a lie. Even when they did...things together...Loki was always gentle and handled his fragile human body with care. Barton closed his eyes and could almost feel the phantom touches. A cold hand on the small of his back, a brush of soft lips against his own, hot breath against his throat. Things he wished to forget, but also wanted to hold dear. It was his darkest secret. Something he could never tell another living soul, not even Nat, who he told everything to.

"You remember, don't you?" Loki questioned him. "You remember how I touched you...Do you regret it? Do you wish I hadn't?"

Clint wanted to lie, but he knew he couldn't. Loki would know if he did. So he chose his next best option. Silence. Avoidance. If he couldn't lie, then he sure as hell could keep his mouth shut.

"Avoiding the question will get you no where, Agent." He spoke again after not getting an answer. "You came here to talk about things, yet, you're letting fear and shame get the better of you...How disappointing."

Those words were like a knife to the chest. One that made it hard to breath under the gods scrutiny. It was as if a sudden heavy weight was plopped onto his chest. Why did he feel this way? He felt regret, he felt shame, but not for the reasons Loki thought. He felt those things...for not feeling those things.

"No..." The archers voice was so soft that the god nearly missed it, but it brought a smile to his face.

"Good, neither do I."

Instantly the added weight had been lifted away. Clint couldn't bare it anymore. He stood and turned to face the god, who was also on his feet looking in the agents bright blue eyes.

"I should feel those things. I'd be a better person if I did." Clint spoke more clearly now. "But, I don't."

"You are the better person, Agent Barton. Don't let them tell you otherwise."

The smile that graced the tricksters face, wasn't his usual smirk or fake grin, but a genuine soft smile that Clint knew was just for him. It made him feel warm and calmed the war raging inside him. Living his life, after Loki, like nothing had happened had been torture. He missed the way being with Loki made him feel. Like he didn't have to make any life threatening decisions. Like he didn't have to take the weight of the world on his own shoulders, because Loki was there to do it for him and Clint...he felt like he could finally relax after years and years of built up tension. He knew he didn't have to be the strong one for once and could lean on the god and trust that he'd be taken care of. If the others knew they would think he'd lost his mind, but his head had never been more clear then in this moment.

"I should go...They'll be worried if I don't."

"Will you come back?" Loki asked, once again surprising him.

"You want me to?"

"Yes. I quite enjoy your company, Agent."

"On one condition." The archer requested.

"Oh you have conditions now, do you?" The god let forth that smirk that made Clint want to melt at his feet.

"Just one."

"Well then, let's hear it, Agent Barton."

"Call me Clint." He said.

"That it?"

"Yes."

"That, I can do...Clint." Loki grinned. "Now run along before you team comes barging into my home."

Barton couldn't help but smile as he turned and climbed the stairs. He thought of nothing else as Thor escorted him back across the bridge and through the Bifrost, back to Earth.

"Thor..."

"What is it, Barton?" The caped man asked.

"Can I come back tomorrow?"

Thor almost did a double take when he heard the archers words. "You wish to come back...and speak with Loki again?"

Clint nodded. "I do. I don't think he's as bad as everyone thinks."

The god of thunder was nearly glaring at him, as if trying to process whether he though Clint was lying or not. Once he'd made up his mind, a small smile graced his face. "No, I don't think so either...Same time tomorrow? Maybe having someone to speak with will lighten the load my brother carries."

The archer nodded. "Same time tomorrow. I'll be waiting."

A year. That's how long Clint had been making trips to Asgard whenever he had a free moment from his SHIELD duties. Sometimes it would be several weeks between visits, and the stress and anxiety would build up, but the moment he would lay eyes on the trickster god, it all seemed to melt away. And Loki was never angry at him for staying away so long. He understood that Clint had a job to do and his work saved lives. He just always seemed glad to see him come back, like one day he wouldn't.

Through these many visits the pair talked a lot. They were honest with other another, even if they knew the other would be upset. They swore... no lies. They talked about life, about their childhood. About how Loki always felt like he was living in his brothers shadow and could never measure up. Clint told him about his abusive father and his mother who never did anything to stop him. The archer also learned it wasn't actually Loki's idea to attack New York. He was simply following orders from a higher power, much stronger then himself. He wasn't given a choice. Loki learned that Clint was a much better man then he ever got credit for. He cared way to much about others. Others who would probably never remember his name, but that wasn't what was important to the archer. He just wanted to help people and the god feared one day it would get him killed.

The two men had gotten to know each other pretty well over the last year, even if it was through a glass wall. They weren't aware, but Thor had been keeping a watch over them. He could visibly see they changes the archer was having on his brother. Loki had never looked so infatuated with anyone. He saw the way he listened intently when Clint spoke and spoke openly with Barton like his never did with anyone else. He could see the bond forming between them and figure it was time to give his brother and second chance at a better life.

"I should go..." Clint said as he stood up off the floor, where he'd been sitting for the last six hours. He didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to. He had reports to write from his previous mission. "I'll see you in a few days." He turned to walked toward the stairs.

Loki frowned as he, too, stood from where he'd been sitting, facing the SHIELD agent. He didn't want the midgardian to leave. He hated not knowing whether he would come back or not. Not because he though Clint for ditch him purposely, but because he worried for his safety out there alone. Anything could happen to keep the fragile human from coming back to him. He wanted to stop him from leaving, but the damn glass prevented him from doing such a thing. Then suddenly it wasn't. It took the trickster a moment to process that the glass was gone. He reached a cautious hand though where it had once been to find...nothing.

"Stop." Loki demanded as he stepped through where the glass had been preventing him from obtaining the thing he wanted most. He was on the archer in a second, pinning him to the wall, with a hand around his throat.

Thor, who was still watching, just in case, nearly jumped into action to save his fellow Avenger from certain death. Maybe he'd been wrong about his brother changing for the better. He could not let Clint suffer for his mistake! That was...until he saw the look on Bartons face. He didn't look frightened, nor was he struggling to get away from Loki. In fact, the archer looked almost relieved at the gods touch. His blue eyes nearly glazed over as he seemed to revel in his brother presence. The god of thunder decided it was best to not watch what was bound to happen next.

Clint wasn't expecting the rough grab to the back of his leather jacket. Or the slender hand that suddenly had him pinned to the stone wall by his throat. He should have been terrified. His fight or flight instinct should have kicked in. He should have fought off whoever it was. He almost did. A sudden spike in adrenaline rushed through him and died in nearly the same breath when he looked up and his eyes were met with a brilliant green. All fight left his body. He simply stood there. Staring at the man who had him by the throat. A man that could easily snap him like a meaningless twig. But he wasn't afraid. Most people would be, but Clint knew that the God would never hurt him. In fact, the archer relaxed fully. He had waited almost two years to have those cool hands on him again. He almost felt light headed with relief. The battle that had been going on inside him was finally quiet and he felt completely at ease.

"Do you trust me, Agent Barton?" The green eyed man asked.

" Clint." The word was but a ghost of breath across his lips.

"What was that?"

"Clint...you promised."

"My apologies. You are correct. " Loki spoke with a small grin on his face. "Do you trust me…Clint?"

" Yes." Barton replied without hesitation. "I trust you, Loki."

The trickster god smiled, but almost couldn't hide his surprise at the archer unfaltering trust in him. Anyone who had ever trusted him, ended up with a knife in their back. He had given the agent no reason to put such faith in him, and yet, he did. Over the last year, this tiny insignificant midgardian had broken through every wall he'd built around himself. He'd told this man things he'd never told another soul. Things he barely managed to admit to himself, horrible things, and still he felt no judgement from Barton. He didn't belittle him, or offer advice. He simply listened quietly. Something Loki didn't realize he needed. He made a silent vow in that moment, as he looked down upon the man, pliant, under his firm, but gentle hand. He would never give the archer a reason to look upon him in fear.

"I trust you as well, Clint." He voiced.

The confession made Clint's eyes come back into focus. Loki trusted him? The god had once told him that he never trusted anyone, so he didn't take his words lightly. They meant a great deal.

"I will never give you a reason not to." He promised in a breathless whisper.

The trickster smiled down as him, causing a strange whirling feeling in his stomach. "I know you won't. Nor will I."

Before Clint had a chance to respond, there were soft, cool lips crashing against his own and it felt like a fire lit up inside his chest. A fire that had been snuffed out nearly two years ago. When he finally gathered the courage to speak with Loki, he felt that fire spark and it had been steadily growing stronger and brighter throughout their time together. Now it was raging inside of him with a force he'd never known before. Instantly his body was responding to the gods kiss, before his mind even had time to catch up. He didn't realize how much he'd missed his touch. Like a deep ache in his very bones.

He finally regained control of his body, hands lifting from where they'd been clenched into tight fists at his side, and reached out for the God that stood before him. They landed on the taller man's waist and pulled him closer until there was no longer space between them. He wanted to feel Loki's body against his own again. It had been too damn long and he was tired of being patient. He didn't know if Loki would ever be released from prison, but he'd been hoping for it.

The green eyes God was pleasantly surprised by the feeling of Clint's hands on him, pulling him flush against him, which, of course, he let him. He wanted to give this man every part of himself, and he would, but they would do it his way. He could feel the mans hands lightly tugging at his tunic, probably not even realizing that he was doing it. It made him grin into their breath stealing kiss, and finally break a part from Barton.

"Patience, my little hawk." Loki teased with a devilish smirk that both pissed Clint off and made him want to kiss it off his arrogant face.

"I've been patient for almost two years." The archer protested in frustration .

"Then ten more minutes won't kill you."

"It very well fucking might." He said under his breath, hoping the trickster wouldn't hear him as he stepped back away from him, but the light chuckle told Clint that he had heard.

"Come here." The god commanded and Clint obeyed without a second thought. Stepping closer, making Loki grin down at him. "Trust me, little hawk. I want you just a badly, but..."

Clint didn't like that word. He felt like the trickster was about reject him. His heart started to sink into his stomach and eyes slowly drifted away from Loki's flawless face and looked down at the floor, mentally preparing himself to be sent away, but suddenly he felt a cool hand run up his chest, shoulders, and neck, until it came to stop at his jawline and he was gently forced to lift his head back up to look in to enticing green eyes.

"But...We will do it right this time."

The archer heart leaped back into his chest, beating rapidly, as a soft, but joyous smiled spread across his face.

"No magic, no mind control. Just you and I." He said. "Tell me you want this."

Again, Clint didn't hesitate. "I want this...I've wanted it for a long time. I just didn't want to admit it to myself, but I'm not ashamed anymore. I'm not afraid anymore."

"You may be when I'm done with you."

"Promise?" The blonde grinned mischievously up at the god.

"My, my, my, Mr. Barton. A whole year of conversations, and still, you are full of surprises."

"You have no idea."

"Well, I fully intend to find out." Loki smirk, silently accepting the unspoken challenge. "Come with me."