Author's Note:

Brief heads up to anyone who might actually be reading this fanfic that I'm writing for fun in an otherwise completely dead fandom:

I am going to be uploading these chapters probably the same day that I write them, with very little if any editing being done. With that being the case, each chapter even after I post them are subject to small adjustments or changes. If you catch onto a consistency error or plot hole, hopefully you can overlook them and instead take the story for what it is as a whole piece instead of latching onto my mistakes. Also, please excuse any scuffed formatting. I will not be calling this story 'complete' until I have posted the last chapter and gone back through all previous chapters with a fine toothed comb.

I have a hard time motivating myself to finish the stories that I write, hence why I am uploading the chapters without much attentiveness. I figure that having my work be public as I write it will help motivate me to continue. I also hope that being able to focus on the story itself instead of worrying about going over it a hundred times to make sure everything is perfect will help me stay interested in the story myself, being the author and all.

With those formalities out of the way, please enjoy!

It was cold.

The temperatures in the small, forestry-locked village that I had found myself within for the past however long was beginning to grow unbearably cold. In spite of the summer season's usual pleasant warmness, I found myself unable to leave my tent in less than a full winter cloak and coverings. Heck, even the inside of my tent was near unbearable if not for the extra layers I had gotten used to wearing. And nobody knew why.

"Chen, are you sure you need to be out right now? I promise that I can carry the firewood the rest of the way myself. You haven't stopped shivering since we left the village."

As I pulled the logs of lumber that I carried closer to my chest I heard the strained gasping of my travel companion from beside me. He was already carrying much more firewood than I was, and an admittedly useless sense of pride refused to let me accept his offer. Feeling the logs beginning to break free through my shivering fingers, I readjusted them once again before responding myself.

"It's fine, we don't have much longer to go. There are plenty of harder things that people are doing right now, I don't wanna be lazy with just boring ol' firewood." In saying this I couldn't immediately decide whether I was reassuring him or myself; or maybe a bit of both. Regardless, the words that I spoke rang true. There were plenty of others going through just as much difficulty as I was, and I had no right to skimp out on my own work when they were working just as hard if not harder. "Besides, I could say the same thing about you. You definitely don't look the best right now either. I didn't even know you had muscles."

The boy cracked a smile at my quip, savoring in the moment of normalcy that my insults gave him. It wasn't as if getting demeaned was the best of things to grasp onto for stability, but it wasn't like there were that many options available as of late. At the very least, it served to distract him from his violent shivering. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

The boy next to me was the first person that I came to befriend upon moving to the village, a boy named Hakaru. And at the moment, he looked even worse for wear that I surely had. His skin had recently started to develop a much paler pigment almost whiter than the snow beneath him, and it was clear that he had started skipping meals. It wasn't often that I spoke to him and didn't bring up my worry, which was maybe why he was so happy to be insulted about his muscles of all things.

"I would say that this is a good workout, but you don't really get enough protein. Honestly, you don't get enough of any food." I gazed seriously into his eyes as I said this, but his only response was the smile quickly leaving his face. He was probably thinking something along the lines of 'not this again…', but I couldn't have cared less. "You really need to start eating again. Please."

"You know I can't do that." He spoke almost coldly, but I knew that his intentions were anything but. I wanted to complain further, but the shaking of his head before a weak cough quickly shut me up. I could only express my further concern through the comforting look in my eyes as I examined his deteriorating form.

"We haven't found food in weeks. Everyone is starving. The last few friends I have left are dying, and all I can do to help is make myself less of a burden." he spoke bluntly, having difficulty pulling his eyes away from the ground a few inches ahead of him. The village's recent problems weren't exactly a secret to anyone, but nobody ever spoke so freely about them. It sent a shiver down my spine.

I wanted nothing more than to comfort Hakaru further, to reassure him that nothing about him was a burden, but the words died in my throat. My saying as such wouldn't help anything, and it wasn't what he needed to hear. He just needed silent support, and I wouldn't deny him that regardless of how much I wanted to.

A silence followed for a few moments after his words, and not the usual kind that we used to share. It wasn't a pleasant escape from the bustling noise of the village center that allowed us moments to enjoy each other's company; it was more so a deafening blanket that hung heavy on both of our shoulders. Neither one of us could muster the strength to break the silence or push the blanket aside. The remaining travel to the village may not have been long, but it felt like we were walking alongside one another in silence for hours.

"Here, at least let me take these the rest of the way." Hakaru was the one to break the silence as the gates came into our view. Before I could retort, he gripped onto the lumber that I carried and pulled them into his own arms with a grunt. "I have tonight off, you still have a patrol to go on. Go rest up and get some food."

I opened my mouth, but the only word to escape was a quiet 'thanks', to which Hakaru only nodded in response before parting ways with me. It was clear that he was struggling significantly with the added weight, but I once again reminded myself that complaining would be useless. I watched from the corner of my eye as I made my own way through the village, half expecting him to collapse. Thankfully and surprisingly, he left my field of view still standing on his own two legs.

Shaking my head as to not dwell on the worry that continued to cling to my chest, I took a casual glance around the buildings that surrounded me as I headed towards my family's hut. The roofs were covered in thick piles of snow, and more than a few abandoned buildings had caved in or similarly fallen into disrepair. The sight was one that I had grown used to as of late, so I paid it no mind, at least for the most part. I passed one particular hut that I recognized as old lady Manako's and frowned, noticing that it had now fallen into an uninhabitable state.

'So, I guess… she couldn't make it either.'

It was a dark thought, one that I was sickened to contemplate so casually. But that was the state of things as they were now, dark and sickening. If every similar realization left me broken and in tears, I would hardly ever have dry eyes.

I counted each step that I took, occupying my mind as best I could to keep my mind from spiraling into a dark place. As much as I tried, I couldn't help thinking back to the memories that I had of old lady Manako. They may have been few and far between, but the kindness that she showed me was special all the same. I unconsciously gripped the finger of my glove, remembering that she was the one who had knit a pair for everyone in the village.

"Chenny Chen~~!"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the eager shouting of a familiar voice, and I quickly replaced my solemn look with one of eager happiness. I turned to the young girl running towards me and knelt down to put my face at her level. I took her into my arms and cooed, "Hey, honey."

The young woman who was clearly no older than seven giggled at my embrace, rubbing her face excitedly into my sleeve. "I'm so happy you're home! Grandma Meiko says that sometimes the grown-ups find a house in the trees and can't come back, so I always think that you aren't gonna come back…"

I squeezed the small child in my arms harder, hoping that the simple movement was enough to reassure her at least partly. "Don't worry, hun, the houses out there have way too many toys to play with, and I wouldn't have any fun if I couldn't play with you."

Thankfully, this seemed enough to put the child's mind at ease, and she quickly turned back to her cheerful self. She giggled once again, clearly overjoyed at the prospect of so many toys being so nearby. "Let's go play with them sometime!"

"We can do that." I smiled, pushing against my knees, and once again standing up straight. The bones in my back ached at the movement, but I somehow managed to hold back a groan of pain. Instead, I put my gloved hand atop the child's head and ruffled her hair playfully. "Once Yuyu grows up a little more we can. They only let people this tall inside."

I put my hand just a few inches above Yuyu's head to emphasize my point, to which she crossed her arms and visibly pouted playfully. "Yuyu is already super tall!"

"The tallest, of course."

The houses weren't real, that much was obvious. The forest was completely empty for miles and miles in any given direction, everyone knew that. Meiko just couldn't let Yuyu know that the people who had entered the forest and not returned had almost surely perished, if not from frostbite than from starvation. I couldn't blame Meiko, it wasn't like I had the heart to tell her either.

As if just remembering something, Yuyu gave an excited moan before lifting her arms above her head and grabbing onto my hand. "Grandma Meiko told me to come get you, she said you gotta come visit her house. She said you weren't in trouble."

"Let's go then!" Hardly skipping a beat, I quickly grab onto a squealing Yuyu and throw her onto my back, offering her the piggyback ride that I knew she was about to ask for. It was her favorite method of transportation, after all, and I was happy to oblige as long as she stayed so small and easy to carry around. Yuyu gripped my shoulders for support and wrapped her legs around my torso. She eagerly ushered me forward with her finger as if she were riding a horse.

Meiko's hut was smack dab in the middle of the village and looked no fancier than any of the other buildings surrounding it. If anything, the hut seemed significantly smaller than all the others, which seemed out of place considering Meiko's unofficial title as 'leader of the village'. She always was the humble type though, so it wasn't like I was particularly surprised when I found out that her hut was smaller than mine.

The double-edged sword that was her humble nature was beginning to show though. Especially now that the entire area was covered in a thick layer of snow. Her hut was arguably less maintained than the others, so the insulation was near nonexistent. Her hut was not even close to resistant to the weather, and she may as well have been sleeping outside at the end of the day. Not that I would ever bring this complaint up to her, as I knew that every luxury Meiko herself passed upon was a luxury that someone else could obtain.

I reached the flap of cloth that served as Meiko's 'front door' in only a few moments and lowered the disappointed Yuyu from my back. With a flick of my hand pushing the cloth to the side I saw myself into the single roomed hut that Meiko called her home.

Within, Meiko was already busy at work making that evening's dinner. Or at least something that was supposed to be called 'dinner'. In all actuality, it was the only meal that most of the village had in a day, and it consisted now of close to inedible amounts of grass and leaves that had been scavenged from the forest. It was the only plant life that had survived this far into the cold weather, and even that surely wouldn't last much longer. If things didn't get warmer soon, even the grass and leaves would die along with everything else. Nobody held their breath.

Meiko turned from the fire within her home and smiled at me with her trademark 'everything will be all right' smile, one of the last enjoyments that the village had in these trying times. Meiko was a thin woman, and always had been. Though her lack of nourishment was evident from the way the skin on her face sunk into her cheek bones, it thankfully hadn't gotten to be irreversibly troubling… yet. She wore a thin white night gown and an equally as thin scarf that drooped from her shoulders. She had refused to take any of the limited amounts of winter gear for herself, as troubling as this was to everyone in the village. Before a word was spoken between us, I went to her side and removed my own jacket, placing it onto her shoulders. It wasn't much, but it hurt to see her dressed so frigidly. From behind, I wrapped my arms around her torso and placed my chin atop her shoulder.

"Hey, babe…" I whispered soothingly into her ear, rubbing her stomach as I spoke. I hoped that the friction from my body allowed her some warmth, though she would never admit to it. I nuzzled my face into the crease of her neck, allowing myself a single affectionate peck onto her pale skin. From behind me, I could hear Yuyu groan.

"Well hey, you..." Meiko returned my soothing tone with one of her own, gripping onto my hands as they continued to rub her stomach. She leaned into me, allowing herself to be pampered if only for a moment. She pulled away from me just enough to turn herself around before placing her forehead onto mine and closing as much distance between us as she could. I could feel her skin through my shirt. She was colder than I remembered. "How was the trip with Hakaru?"

"Oh, it was the same as always. We got enough firewood to keep the fire going for a couple days at least." I smiled, for a moment forgetting all of the worries that had come to pass. Instead, I found myself lost in Meiko's form, enveloped in the way her fingers ran along every curve of my body as her warm breath comforted my face. "Maybe on my patrol tonight I can find another rabbit and we can have a feast, like old times."

"That does sound nice, doesn't it…" Meiko cooed into my ear, momentarily latching onto it with her front teeth and giving it a playful bite. Her fingers continued to explore my form as if she had completely forgotten it, but abruptly stopped at my side. She pulled away, almost immediately shutting down the sensual atmosphere that had come to pass between us. "We actually have to talk about that."

My face contorted in confusion, unsure of how to exactly take what Meiko had said. Still, it wasn't as if my questioning of it would bring me any closer to understanding. "What do you mean?"

Before Meiko could answer, she pulled away from me and knelt down towards Yuyu, affectionately pinching her cheek (to Yuyu's dismay). She pulled the small child close into her bosom and whispered into her ear, "Can you go get Hakaru from the big fire? Your grandma's have to talk alone for a little bit."

Yuyu clearly wasn't pleased with being ushered away from her guardians once again so soon after the first time, but she was obedient enough to not question it. Lowering her head in a display of sadness, Yuyu gave a soft 'okay' before making her way to the door.

With Yuyu no longer present, Meiko's demeanor turned dramatically more serious as she turned to face me once again. I knew almost immediately that our playful flirting time was over, and it was time to have a serious discussion. I was curious as to the reasoning behind the sudden, dramatic change.

"So, is there any update from the scouts you sent to the capital?" I started off the conversation with the same question that I had asked a million timed before and received the same answer that I had gotten a million times before. This time, it was a bit blunter.

"No, and I think we both know that we aren't going to." Her face darkened as she said this, and I saw a side of Meiko that I hadn't seen before. Through all of the hardships that we had faced she was the one to remain the most optimistic, the one that helped the rest of us hold onto the lingering semblance of hope. Of course, what she was saying wasn't wrong.

"I've sent out scouts on excursions to find food. We found them dead less than two miles from the village." Meiko continued, her face continuing to darken the longer that she spoke. "So how can we expect a scout party that we sent a hundred miles away to the capital to survive the trip there AND back?"

"I-" I faltered momentarily, not entirely sure of what to say. "You say that, but we sent our best people, and we gave them enough supplies to last for at least two months. Even by now, they should still have enough food for at least a couple more weeks. Mikah, Rei, Eiko-"

"Don't be stupid!" Meiko would shout, something that I didn't hear all too often. I was stunned into silence, "You and I both know that something's out there. Something that kills people. Something that eats people. Something that can take out a group of scouts two miles away from our village!"

"Don't jump to conclusions, we don't know that!" I shouted back, matching Meiko's tone with my own. By my side, I could feel myself subconsciously clenching my fists with enough force for my whole arms to shake. "It could be an animal or, or, or a total misunderstanding!"

Meiko took a breath before speaking again, taking a moment to compose herself. She continued in a softer yet still stern tone, "What is there to misunderstand, Chen? We've been trying to find any animal in the forest for weeks. We've been trying to get into contact with anyone for just as long. We need to start thinking realistically here."

"And what exactly is 'thinking realistically' right now?!" I continued to shout, unable to control the frustration that was begging to be released, "Do we assume that everyone died on the way to the capital, and nobody knows what the hell is going on? Do we assume that there's no food anymore, so we're stuck eating grass and leaves for however the fuck long we can even survive in this fucking cold that's gonna be around forever? What are we supposed to do?!"

My whole body was shaking by this point, and the wet droplets from my eyes were threatening to start rolling down my face. I was utterly hopeless, finally realizing that without Meiko's guidance and optimism that I had nothing to hold onto. I was so, so scared. And Meiko seemed to realize this, altogether putting on another mask of reassurance as she came forward and took hold of my clenched fist.

"Those are all pretty good questions, honestly."

Hakaru's voice broke through the silence as Meiko and I both realized that he had entered the hut in the middle of that exchange. I was still too flustered to be embarrassed by my display and instead remained silent. It was Meiko who elected to break the silence that had come to pass between us.

"I need you both to listen to me very carefully before saying anything." Meiko was carefully deliberate in every word that she spoke from here on out, picking and choosing each word as if they were her last. All the while, she grasped desperately onto my fists as if they were her last lifeline.

"You and Hakaru need to leave here with Yuyu and head towards the capital. Tomorrow morning."

It was with this bombshell that Meiko would start to speak in a quick flurry, not allowing either Hakaru or me even a second to butt in or protest.

"I've held onto a tiny bit of emergency rations, enough to get you halfway there. I wish I could give you more, but it's all we have left. You can take Robin with you too, in case you can't find any more food and need to eat something, she hasn't lost any weight yet and she's still as quick as ever. Hopefully, you can get to Nakoku before it comes to that. If you move quick, it'll only take you a month to get there. When you do, you can finally find out what's going on."

It was taking my brain longer than a fleeting moment to completely comprehend what was being asked of me. There was so much wrong with what Meiko was saying that I didn't even know where to start. I was speechless, altogether wanting to question everything and nothing at the same time.

"No."

Hakaru was blunt, responding with only a single word. As was in character for him, he was just as sturdy as always in his wants and beliefs. He believed that this was an impossible thing to ask of him and wanted nothing more than to get back to work as if this conversation had never happened. In spite of his quick rebuttal though, it was easy to hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"You can't expect us to actually go through with this!" I finally spoke up, this time more desperate than frustrated, "Keep the emergency rations for the village. When we run out, we can eat Robin here if we need to… with everyone! Does our opinion not matter at all? How can you expect us to-"

"Stop! Please." Meiko cut me off, her voice wavering. She refused to look at Hakaru and I, turning away and hiding her face behind her long silver hair. "We won't survive, not all of us. Even if things went back to normal tomorrow, the damage has already been done. I want to save whoever I can, even just the three of you."

"Then come with us!"

"I can't!" As quickly as Hakaru had shouted a rebuttal, Meiko had one of her own. Without skipping a beat, she continued, "I have to stay here with the village. We all know that they wouldn't last a second without me. Even if we don't stand a chance, I don't want to leave them alone."

This was too much. I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't going to hear it.

I have always considered myself strong, both as a person and a partner. I always considered Meiko to be my counterpart, someone that I saw myself within. But at this very moment, as the words that echoed within the room deflected off the windows and walls and repeated themselves within the confines of my skull, I felt weak. I felt small, like a mewling kitten or whimpering rabbit. In a way, it reaffirmed the power that Meiko held over me in every way that I didn't want to be reminded. It was like a stake was being pierced through my chest; a stake laced with the poison of the world that seemed to many millions of miles away. I couldn't handle it.

"Wait!"

I turned onto my heels, not wanting to be in the room anymore; not wanting to see the people who held this much power over me. I wanted to run as far as my legs could carry me, as deep into the forest as I could manage before collapsing and succumbing to starvation, frostbite; whichever took hold first. The way things seemed now, it almost seemed like the most graceful of endings I could hope for.

Everything past that moment was a blur until I realized I was within the bedroom of my own hut, just as alone as I had been when I first arrived in this god forsaken village. Every piece of furniture had been leaned up against the door, and each window had been boarded up with very loose piece of wood that I could find. I was completely isolated, alone; exactly how I wanted to be.

It was on the cold, wooden floor of this building where I finally passed out. It was not a deep slumber. I would find no rest as my form floated out of consciousness. I slept on a bed of needles, a piercing sting that sunk into every inch of my body.