My sleep that night was hesitant as my mind zeroed in on every drop of sweat that ran down my skin and every brush of wind that fluttered my thick blanket through the wind. It was preoccupied in the most distracting of ways, yet my tired muscles refused to be denied their slumber.

It was prior to and during this slumber that my mind would wander through the conversation that I'd had earlier in the day, one that my weakened mental fortitude stopped me from finishing. On recollection, not as many words as I had originally perceived were spoken by either party. The words that were spoken, though, implied grave conclusions and gave way to hundreds of implications. And knowing myself as much as I did, I worked through them all in my head.

Meiko had… given up hope. It was a dark thinking that was difficult to come to terms with, but I had to. It wasn't like she was exactly wrong, as much as I hated to admit it. Things wouldn't last much longer as they currently were, and Meiko being the unofficial 'leader' of the village had to take all of that responsibility for herself. I tried to shoulder as much weight as I could in support of her, but it was a situation impossible for me to fully grasp or understand. The kinds of hoops that Meiko forced herself to jump through were ones that I would walk away from without a second thought, but she was bigger than that. She wanted to help as many people as she could, to a fault in some instances. Still, it was undeniably hypocritical to criticize Meiko considering my own situation.

As foreign as her thinking seemed and as difficult as it was in my position, I tried to put myself into her shoes. If I had switched places with her during this morning's confrontation, would I have done any different? Could I think of a solution to save everyone? I groaned lightly as this thought crossed my mind, clearly already knowing the answer. If any solution had come to me, I would have immediately told Meiko about it. But, once again knowing myself in the way that I do, my solution would have probably boiled down to simply waiting for outside help from another village or a passing traveler. But I knew Meiko would never leave things at that, she would never remain complacent as she watched her family and friends in the village die off one after another. She'd already done just that for far too long.

I tossed and turned on the hardwood floor that I laid atop, still in a state halfway between consciousness and sleep. My body and mind were running on their own, caring not for my own input. These thoughts and ponderings were a sort of reflex that my body took advantage of as soon as I relinquished control. They continued longer into the night.

Meiko was prepared, willing, and assumedly accepting that she was going to die and there was nothing she could do about it. The thought alone brought my body to a cold sweat, and I let out an exasperated moan in protest. As much as I hated to admit it; there was already only a microscopic chance that things would work themselves out in the village, and that chance essentially became zero if Meiko left. If Hakaru and I decided to go through with her plan and leave the following morning, there was no way that she could have followed. That fact made me sick.

My thoughts would then turn to Yuyu, the child whom Meiko and I had taken in as our own. The orphaned young one who had somehow, against all odds and dangers of travel, found herself wrapped betwixt our loving arms. She was an innocent soul, one that remained cheerful and loving in spite of the troubles she had surely faced in the little time that she spent on this earth. I wanted to protect her at all costs, no matter what. If everything fell apart around me, if every part of my life were ripped away right in front of my eyes, I would spend my last moments making sure that she was okay. The things that I was willing to go through to ensure her safety filled me with guilt. Was Yuyu… deserving of this special treatment?

I tossed and turned in my sleep once again, hoping against all hope to stop myself from traveling down a truly dark thought process. Thankfully, my mind relented.

There were so many stones left unturned, so many things that I had yet to consider, so many people that I would be leaving behind. My head was a fog of unfinished thoughts and ideas, a cluster of anxiety that refused to leave me alone. I was desperate. I was scared. I was alone.

"Chen…?"

There was a knock on the wall of my bedroom as the figure in the shadows made their way closer to my sleeping form. This sudden noise was enough to break me from my stupor, if only slightly. I was still slow in my movements and fatigued from having just been woken up, but it was enough to bring me to my senses if only lightly. I turned my head to address the figure that had entered my home, but before I could move, I felt their hand pushing lightly against my chest.

"No, don't get up. I just… wanted to be with you. If only for tonight." The figure snaked their way to my side, slipping underneath my covers and joining my in my sleeping quarters. I moaned lightly; not in discomfort, but in relief at the touch of another. I turned my face to look towards the person, though I already knew who it was.

"Meiko, you need to sleep. You shouldn't be up right now." I slurred my words as I turned in my sleep, placing my face just inches in front of hers. It was dark, but I could faintly see the outline of her face from the shadows in the room. As if aglow from the heavens themselves, her piercing blue eyes gaze into my own and offered a familiar comfort. In spite of my words, I reached towards her face with my hand and put my palm against her cheek. My thumb would move almost on its own, rubbing her skin back and forth in a soothing display of affection. I could tell Meiko was smiling.

"I just… didn't want to leave things like they were. I wanted to make sure we were okay." Meiko softly took hold of my wrist with her own hand, as if holding it in place. Her words were hesitant, almost as if she were unsure of what she was saying. Normally seeing her in such a serious and deliberate way, it was wholesome to see her opening up to me like this. It didn't happen often.

"Of course, we're okay." I cooed softly, speaking in little more than a whisper. "No matter what, we'll be okay."

Meiko hesitated for a moment, opening her mouth but allowing no words to escape. After a moment, she finally responded, "that's… good."

The feeling of the woman in front of me, the figure that laid only inches in front of my still foggy self, was beautiful. It may have been difficult to see clearly in the darkness of the evening, but the silhouette of her body beneath my blanket was just barely noticeable. Meiko would loosen her grip from my wrist, allowing for my hand to move itself into a more comfortable position further down her body. It would stop just beneath the small of her back, and my thumb would continue its' reassuring movements even after my hand had stopped. Meiko would take my face into her palm and pull it upward slightly, trying to get a better view for herself. She would smile before leaning forward and offering a small peck onto my lips. I would close my eyes in this moment, savoring in the taste of her skin against my own.

"Meiko, about earlier… I-" as I attempted to veer the conversation in a different direction, I would begin pulling my hand away from her and back to my side. Before I could finish, Meiko grabbed onto my wrist once again and placed my hand in the same position as before it had moved. And before I could finish my thought aloud, Meiko would silence me with her lips once again. This time however, the kiss would linger for longer than what could be called just a peck. A few moments passed, and the movement had progressed into a passionate display of her affection. Her pursed lips pressed against mine softly, yet at the same time almost desperately. Desperate to remain as we were for as long as we could manage. Her lips would part for a moment, and I could feel the wetness of her tongue slide against my lips. I would part my lips to allow her entrance; but it was at this moment that Meiko would pull away and leave me laying there with my mouth agape.

"I don't want to talk about earlier. I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to be right here." Her words were desperate, and I couldn't bring myself to go against them. The conversation would have to wait for tomorrow, if not the next day, or the next day, or the next day, or the day after that…

I would nod in silent approval as I gripped onto her side where my hand had been lying and pulling her as close as I could towards me. I would push my head forward, this time taking the initiative myself to start another passionate embrace that would pick up where Meiko had left off. She would nearly melt in my arms as she closed her eyes, allowing me freedom over every inch of her body.

Meiko would once again part her lips in the midst of our kiss, sliding her tongue against the entrance of my own lips, leaving a faint trail of nectar as she moved back and forth. I would part my mouth once again, but this time Meiko seemed to have no intention of pulling away.

Our tongues would make sensual movements between both of our faces, dancing with a flurry of movements that complimented one another as much as they attacked one another for dominance. It was only when the both of us were left completely out of breath and panting that we would pull apart, a thin trail of moisture keeping the two of us attached.

I would tighten my grip on her side as I bit my lip and lingered my gaze on the softness of her face, to which Meiko would slightly jolt in a mixture of eagerness and pleasure. It was as if she wanted me to explore her figure, to run the tips of my fingers against every inch of her body. I wanted nothing more than to do the same.

I would pull my hand away until I was left barely touching her skin with my fingertips, a movement that once again stirred a shiver down Meiko's spine. My careful touch left a trail of goosebumps as I explored up and down her side, ensuring that every inch was affected into my memory. My fingers would linger for a moment against her hip, to which she would visibly squirm in an adorable display of her desire.

Without warning, Meiko would wriggle her hand to the back of my head and entangle her fingers between the locks of my long, auburn hair. She would pull my head once again towards hers and grant me another long, passionate kiss. It was during this kiss that Meiko would grow cross, impatiently using her free hand to grab tightly onto my breast. I would let out a deep, pleasurable groan that vibrated the both of our mouths as they clashed against one another.

While maintaining her firm grip and eagerly massaging my breast, Meiko would move my nipple to a position between her middle and ring finger. She would rub the two fingers back and forth against my sensitive skin, creating a rough sensation that coerced another groan from my throat. I would unconsciously rub my legs together, yearning for a stronger pleasure there and then.

My mind was still fogged from my sleep that had only ended a few minutes before this moment, but there was now a cloud of passionate resolve that all but drowned out any sober thoughts that I may have had. As Meiko continued her own movements I would slide my hand down her hip and grab hold of her mounds below, causing her to emit a cute 'meep' in surprise. While our tongues remained intertwined, I couldn't stifle a pleased grin to slightly curve my lips. I would adjust my grip by a few centimeters each moment until I found my fingers grazing against Meiko's inner thighs, fully intent on continuing towards the main prize. In only a moment, to my great dismay, Meiko would quickly pull her hand away and grip tightly my wrist, stopping my in my tracks.

"Not so fast, Chen… I'm not done with you…" She would say this almost as a challenge, one that I had no intent of putting up a fight against. She would move the hand that had been playfully toying with my hair and grip my shoulder, pushing me onto me back and readjusting herself to straddle me in a single, fluid motion. Her face now towering on top of me, this was the first good look that I got of her since she first entered. Even in the dark, I could recognize every curve of her body.

"You're… beautiful, Meiko."

She would smile at me again before leaning down to offer a light kiss, one that lasted for only a moment. She would begin her journey down my body, stopping first at the bottom of my neck. She would latch onto the skin with her lips and gently suck as her tongue rubbed against my skin. I would grab onto Meiko's hand to my side for support as she offered my body further stimulation with how mouth. I would pull my head away from her and lean my neck deeper into her movements, allowing her all the room she needed to do whatever she wanted. She would suck hard just as she pulled her lips away, creating a loud and wet 'smack' that reverberated in the empty room surrounding us.

She would scoot her knees further down the side of my body as she continued further down my form, leaving a trail of kisses as she went. She would take hold of the thick sweater that I wore with both of her hands, signifying her intent to remove it. I would lean forward slightly and raise my hands over my head, allowing her to remove my garment and throw it haphazardly to the other side of the room.

She would continue her movements from just underneath my neck, leaving wet marking above my collarbone as she went. When finally she reached my now exposed breasts, she leaned back a few inches as if to take in the view. Her focused gaze gave me an embarrassed sensation, but Meiko quickly moved her own hands up against my forearms on either side to keep me from covering myself. In a quick motion, she would lower her face towards the nipple that she had previously played with and gave it an aggressive suck that cause my whole body to convulse in pleasure. I could feel her lips curve into a dastardly smile in response to the loud moan I let escape from my lips.

As she created a constant pressure on the skin surrounding my right nipple, she would use her tongue to flick the tip back and forth forcefully. The wetness of her mouth created a lubricant that made the movements feel almost sloppy, which only increased the pleasure that I felt. As she continued, she pulled the arm opposite from her face away from my arm and used it to take hold of my other breast. While one side of my chest was being played with by her tongue, Meiko pinched hard and pulled on my other nipple. The pain was far from irritating. In response to her movements, my legs continued to rub themselves together unconsciously in an attempt to create further friction where my body so desperately wanted it.

She would focus on my chest for only a moment longer before sliding down my form once again, adjusting her legs until she was no longer straddling me. I would open my own legs wide enough for her to slip her knees in between them as she continued. Meiko would linger at my chest for a moment, creating a circular arrangement of wetness around my belly button. She would reach forward to grip the hem of my pants, and I would lift my hips slightly off the ground to allow her room to lower them enough to show the area I so wanted her to touch. Instead of offering me the gratification I so desired, she would lie her head down between my legs, just beneath my undergarments, and turn her head to the side to suck on my inner thighs. I groaned in frustration as I placed my hands atop her head. She would grab onto both of my wrists once again, and quickly pull herself on top of me so that her entire body hovered a few inches above my own. I audibly voiced my disappointment in the form of an annoyed whimper.

Luckily, from this position I could return the favor that she had offered to me. I would slink my hand underneath her nightgown and caress her stomach for only a moment, throwing off my true intent. In a quick movement, I moved my hand down her body and placed it on top of her panties. I pushed against her folds with my middle finger, pushing them apart in a quick back and forth motion. Meiko, clearly surprised by my sudden movement, grabbed onto my wrist as her head fell onto my upper chest.

"Fuck, Chen…"

But before she could allow herself to be fully engrossed in my movements, Meiko would pull my hand away and lift her head to face mine. With a playfully angry expression she would growl, "tonight is your night, Chen."

Meiko would slink back down between my legs before I had the chance to argue, stopping as her face hovered only a few centimeters above my panties. I could feel her hot breath in the cold room brush up against my folds, and my body unconsciously reacted. With another moan, my hand grabbed onto the back of her head and pushed her up against my panties. Finally feeling a semblance of attention, I let out a shaky breath as Meiko gave a smile that I could feel against the cloth. Thankfully, she no longer fought against my grip.

Meiko would start by kissing the top of my clitoris through the fabric, causing my legs to contort in response. After a moment, she moved the back of her hand to rest against the top of my inner thigh before pulling my panties to the side. The cold air of the room quickly enveloped my now exposed honeypot, by Meiko was quick to block the air with her tongue. In the same way that she had pursed her lips around my nipple she would open her mouth wide and take my pussy into her mouth as best as she was able. She sucked hard on it.

"Fuck!"

With my first audible exclamation of the night, my entire body quivered at the strong sensations. Meiko would suck on my pussy with more force than she had on any part of my body, simultaneously flicking my clit back and forth with her tongue. As she did so, both of my hands gripped tightly onto tufts of her hair in a desperate attempt to control the overpowering sensation. Meiko would then bring her mouth down to my fold and free my clitoris from her sucking. She would bring her hand to right above my most sensitive location and massage the skin above my clitoris as she continued to suck. Her tongue would play with my opening, rocking back and forth and pushing the folds to either side of Meiko's lips. It took only a few moments for a strong build up to form around my pussy, and I could tell that I wouldn't last much longer. All the while, Meiko continued her methodical movements passionately. Then, like a dam about to burst, I felt the oncoming orgasm as it was about to happen.

"Fuck, Meiko I'm gonna fucking cum!"

I let out the proclamation with a deep gasp, all of a sudden losing all of the air that had gathered in my lungs. Meiko was more than happy to oblige. She would suck hard and plunge her tongue deep within my pussy as she moved her hand from above my clitoris to right on top of it. Using my extreme wetness as lubricant, Meiko would push against my clit with as much force as she could muster and spin her hand in a circular motion.

With the added stimulation serving to push me over the edge, I would let out a loud moan cut off only by the deep gasps I would take to catch my breath as I continued to orgasm. I released into Meiko's mouth a thin projection of juice that managed to fit perfectly into Meiko's mouth and down her throat. The juice hit the back of her throat, and Meiko had to stop the rotation and back away to control her coughing. Still mid orgasm, my own hand unconsciously took the place where Meiko's had left, rotating and finishing myself off as I continued to squirt my juices. It was a soft squirt, but it still managed to dirty Meiko's face as she continued to cough.

With the orgasm finished, my hand came to a gradual stop as my heavy breathing continued. With hot sweat now covering my body and the passionate moment warming my blood, I could have easily forgotten just how cold it had been the entire time; especially now that I was completely nude save for my panties. Finally coming to my senses, I looked down at Meiko who remained underneath me with my juices dirtying her face. She gave me an angry look.

"Sorry…" I offered meekly, the passion from the previous moment still leaving a lingering awkwardness in the air. "I did warn you though."

"Yea, next time warn me that you're about to squirt down my windpipe." Meiko returned with a rebuttal of her own, playfully smacking the fat of my inner thigh in a display of fake anger. I smiled apologetically. She wiped her face absentmindedly on my blanked, but I was too tired to complain.

Meiko took her place once again at my side, smiling happily as she took hold of my hand and interlocked her fingers with mine. She squeezed it hard for a moment, but I was too fatigued to realize the true meaning behind the movement. With my other hand, I would once again place her cheek in my palm.

"I would say that it's my turn now, but I did kind of push this on you without much warning…" Meiko teased, rubbing her face against my hand affectionately. I could only smile, knowing that anything I said would only deter from the moment we were having.

We fell asleep in each other's arms that night, allowing ourselves to protect each other from the incessant cold air surrounding us. It was nice for a moment to ignore the outside world, to ignore the problems that had come to plague every second of our lives. It was proof to the fact that my heart may have been cold, but it hadn't completely frozen over.

I wish that I had told Meiko that I loved her before I fell asleep. I wish that I had spent a few lingering moments enjoying the beauty that was her entire being for even a minute longer. I wish we could have talked as playfully as we had in the past for longer. I wish we could have gone back to normal. I wish Neither one of us would have woken up the next morning.

As my eyes shut and slumber overtook me, I could have sworn that I watched as a flurry of tears began pouring down her face. But I was still tired, and my head was still foggy.