The next day when Olivia arrived at the hospital with Harrison she headed straight to the director's office. She knew Fitz wasn't going to be there for at least a few hours because he was trying to get some work done after he'd stayed at the hospital with Gerry during the night until Mellie came early in the morning to release him.
Olivia was particularly agitated because she didn't get any sleep in the night. She was so anxious about being by herself that she ended up staying up all night packing away her things and then when she finished, she spent the rest of the night detailing her plan for Gerry. In the midst of all that she had a bad migraine but she recovered and continued doing her work until morning.
There was a lot to get done before the operation and she had asked Harrison to arrange with Daniel's lab for Gerry's marrow sample to be processed but Daniel was insisting on speaking with her directly. She was also debating whether she wanted to get a specialist to perform the bone marrow operation or if she wanted to do it herself. She thought doing it herself was a great way to get warmed up but she just wasn't sure if it would make a difference, it was a rather simple procedure.
By the time she got back to Gerry's room in the afternoon, Cyrus and Mellie were there with Gerry, who was chatting on the phone with someone and by the redness on Gerry's cheeks she could tell he was speaking with Kenna.
"Hello," she said to both Cyrus and Mellie.
They were both standing by the window, speaking in whispers not initially realizing Olivia was in the room until she spoke. Cyrus was the first to return the greeting.
"Hello Dr. Pope," Cyrus said as he walked over to Olivia and Harrison.
"This is Harrison and please call me Olivia," Olivia said as she casually touched Harrison's arm.
Cyrus stretched his hand and shook Harrison's hand.
"Good to meet you Harrison."
"Same here sir," Harrison said with a smile.
Olivia walked over to Gerry who was still on the phone and checked the patient chart that was by his bed to see what medication he was given and when, by his nurses.
"Kenna can I call you later? - okay, - later, bye."
Gerry hung up.
"Liv, how are you?"
"I'm good."
"Are you sure?"
Olivia thought it was an odd question but she answered nonetheless.
"Yeah, I'm fine, how are you feeling?"
"I feel like I want to get up and walk around and stretch."
"I know, it sucks but if all goes well, it will only be temporary."
"When do you think surgery will be?"
"I'm just waiting on one call then I'll can tell you definitively when the surgeries will be."
Gerry sighed, she could tell something was bothering.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't believe this happen to me, just a split second and now I'm paralyzed."
"It's okay Gerry, it'll take a little time but you'll get better."
"What if I don't, what if I'm the only person you can't fix."
Mellie ran over to take over from Olivia and sat on Gerry's bed and held his hands, Olivia took that as her cue and stepped back to give them space.
"Gerry, it's okay-" Mellie began to say but then Fitz walked in.
He could see that Gerry was upset and Mellie was coddling him.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"Oh nothing sweetie, Gerry was just having doubts about whether or not Olivia could fix him," Mellie said with faux concern.
She was hoping to get under Olivia's nerve with her comment but Olivia didn't seem to care.
Fitz looked to Olivia, then Mellie, then Gerry.
"You shouldn't be worried Gerry, Olivia is the best in the world, I think your chances are pretty good," Fitz said as he walked over to Gerry's bed.
"I know it's just that mom told me Olivia had tried to kill herself a while ago and that she wasn't in a good place... mentally and I got worried."
Olivia froze and for what might have been 10 seconds but fell like an eternity, no one said a word, not even Fitz. Everyone was looking at her; Gerry, Mellie, Cyrus, Harrison and Fitz, they were all waiting on her reaction and in that moment, she was so flushed with embarrassment that she turned and walked out as quickly as she could.
Harrison chased behind her immediately.
"I shouldn't have said that," Gerry said apologetically.
"Why would you tell him that?" Fitz said angrily to Mellie.
"It wasn't on purpose."
Fitz didn't respond to her, instead he turned his attention back to Gerry.
"Gerr, I'm gonna go see if Olivia's alright."
Gerry nodded.
Fitz got up and quickly went to find Olivia.
"Of course let's all make sure Olivia is okay," Mellie said with disdain.
Gerry turned to Mellie.
"You know mom, I blame you."
"You realize I'm your mother and Olivia isn't right, I can't believe you're taking their side, she stole your father from me."
Cyrus decided to intervene.
"Mellie, I don't really think that's an appropriate thing to say to him."
"Mom, Olivia didn't steal dad from you, it's not like you and dad were having a great marriage and I'm not taking sides, she's nice to me and I like her, am I not suppose to like her because you don't like her? She's gonna fix my back mom."
Mellie shrugged.
"Just forget it."
"Whatever mom."
As Fitz walked down the hallway, he saw Harrison approaching him.
"She's in the doctor's lounge."
"Is she alright."
"Yeah, just annoyed."
"Where is the doctor's lounge?"
"Pass the double doors straight to the back."
"Okay thanks."
Harrison headed back to the room while Fitz went to find Olivia. Fitz followed Harrison's direction and when he got the lounge, he knocked the door hoping she would answer.
"Liv?"
There was no answer but he heard footsteps approaching the door. She opened the door for him and stepped aside so he could enter. Her expression was unreadable, she couldn't tell if she was upset or not.
"Liv, are you okay?"
She folded her arms and pouted.
"Your ex wife is a bitch."
She huffed and then stormed out and headed back to Gerry's room. She wasn't going to give Mellie the satisfaction of thinking she won because of the stunt she pulled. Fitz followed behind her smiling at her feistiness. Olivia walked quickly and with purpose, he thought maybe she was going to yell at Mellie but she walked into the room casually. Gerry was the first to speak.
"You know Liv, this was my bad, I'm really sorry, didn't mean to ...make things weird and bring that up, it was none of my business, I was just worried about you."
"It's okay Gerry don't worry about it," she said with a smile.
"I'm gonna go back to the white house and get some work done, I just came to hang with Gerry for a little while," Cyrus said quickly as he grabbed his jacket and made a beeline towards the door, he wanted to leave before things got more tense.
Before anyone could respond to Cyrus' abrupt departure, Harrison's phone rang and he answered, allowing Cyrus to get away.
"Anna- oh, Mr. Benancourt…sure, of course, she's right here."
Harrison walked closer to Olivia and held the phone to his chest.
"He wants to speak with you," Harrison whispered.
Olivia shrugged and took the phone from Harrison.
"Bonjour Daniel, Comment allez-vous?" she said cheerfully in a stark contrast to her mood moments earlier.
As soon as Fitz heard it was Daniel, he felt a pang of jealousy. He wholeheartedly did not want Olivia speaking to him or any other man that might try to steal her away from him, if he had his way, as unreasonable as it was, Stephen and Harrison would have gotten the boot a long time ago. He walked closer and though he couldn't hear what Daniel was saying, he could tell Daniel was talking her ear off. He spoke french but not as well as Olivia and Olivia was speaking way too fast for him to keep up to what she was saying.
"Je m'excuse de ne pas avoir pris vos appels."
Fitz translated what she said to loosely mean that she was apologizing or not answering his calls.
"Je vais très bien...J'en ai besoin accéléré...no…oui Président Grant...son fils...demain...Merci beaucoup - tu es un bon ami… ah magnifique.. Thank you… au revoir."
Olivia sighed as she hung up, she could see Harrison dying laughing.
"It's not funny Harrison."
"I'm sorry, he's just - let me shut up now," Harrison said as he continued laughing.
"Gerry, I'm going to schedule your bone marrow extraction surgery for tomorrow afternoon."
"Really," Fitz responded.
"Yes, now that I've confirmed that they'll be able to work on the sample. Once I extract it tomorrow afternoon, we can send it to France overnight and have it back within 24 hours for surgery."
Gerry looked shocked.
"Gerry, are you okay?" she asked.
"No, yea, It's just I didn't think it would be so soon but that's good right?"
"Yea the sooner the better, your injury is fresh - so to speak, so your sample will be more effective on a fresh injury."
"Okay, so I guess I need to get a lot of rest then."
"Yes and no eating beginning tomorrow at 8am okay, so make sure you have breakfast before that, only fruits though, no meat or starch or wheat okay?"
"Got it."
"Okay, I need to speak with your parents outside for a sec."
"Okay."
Olivia led the way outside and waited, Fitz, Harrison and Mellie followed and gathered around her in the hallway.
"Before you start, I almost forgot to give you this," Fitz reached into his pocket and pulled out a credit card, "this is the expense card for the operation, just charge everything to that."
Olivia took the card and handed it to Harrison. They had been charging everything to Gerry's insurance but shipping the sample would need different funds so she was glad Fitz gave her the card.
"Umm okay, so I'm going to schedule the procedure for 1pm tomorrow, we won't sedate him because I'm taking the tissue from his lower back so he won't be able to feel it. The procedure doesn't take a very long time and it's very low risk. Once I have the sample we'll send it to France, that process usually take 24hrs, during which time we'll make sure everything is prepared for the operation which I'll schedule for Friday at 9am. I estimate it'll take me anywhere from 12-14 hours, maybe more or less. He will be sedated heavily and he'll sleep for a day or so after the procedure. Once he's up, he'll be in a lot of pain but I won't be able to give him the strong stuff because that will slow his nerve activity and sabotage his healing process, I'll give him shots of cortisone, that will make it bearable. Healing really should take about 3 weeks but I told him a month so he would think he's healing faster than normal."
Fitz chuckled.
"Good move," Fitz said with a smile.
Olivia blushed unashamedly.
Mellie looked at them both and scoffed silently, Harrison stood back watching their exchange; thoroughly entertained by it all.
"Anything else Olivia?" Mellie said coldly.
"Yes, actually," Olivia paused, "I appreciate your concern for my mental health but seen as though you are no psychiatrist I'd like for you to keep your evaluations to yourself."
"How dare you-"
"How dare I what," Olivia said curtly.
"You know what, I don't have time for this I'm gonna go back to my son."
"Yeah, you do that."
Mellie scoffed and stared at both Fitz and Olivia, now she was flushed with embarrassment. She didn't have anything to say back to Olivia so she strutted back into Gerry's room.
"Ignore her, that's what I do," Fitz said to Olivia.
Olivia smiled.
"Enough about her, weren't you supposed to buy me lunch today?"
"Was I?" Fitz pretended not to remember.
Olivia turned to Harrison and handed him all the paperwork she was clutching.
"Harry, can you take care of this stuff with the hospital manager please?"
"Sure."
Harrison excused himself and left.
"When we talked this morning you didn't tell me how last night went? You've been avoiding it all day?"
Olivia sighed.
"Fitz, it's just…growing pains that's all, it'll take some getting used to."
"Liv, did you sleep last night?"
"Maybe."
"Liv, you promised you'd be more open with me."
He caressed her cheek and she instinctively stepped back to put some distance between them.
"Fitz, people will see."
"I'm a divorced man Olivia, let them see whatever they want to see."
"No, I'm Gerry's doctor."
She looked up at him and she could see he was frustrated.
"Are you coming to visit me tonight?"
"Do you want me to?" He asked almost sarcastically.
"You're frustrated with me-"
"I'm not frustrated with you Liv, I just want you to be honest with me, I don't want to have to guess what's going on with you, I want you to tell me."
"Okay, babe why don't we talk later tonight."
She caressed his arm in a way that could be construed as casual touch between friends but it meant something completely different to them.
Fitz immediately started grinning.
"Is that a yes?" She asked with a smile.
"Of course it's a yes, is that even a real question," he chuckled.
"Okay well I'm going to go sort some things out-"
"What the hell was the deal with Daniel earlier?"
Fitz was so caught up he almost forgot to chastise her about Daniel.
"He insisted on speaking to me before he accepted the sample, he was just being annoying."
"Is he trying to steal you from me?"
Fitz said it jokingly but she knew Fitz he was serious, he could hardly be subtle with his jealousy.
"Fitz no one can steal me from you," she said coyly.
Fitz smiled.
"That's what I like to hear."
"I know, that's why I said it," Olivia joked.
"Okay so I'm gonna go handle this stuff with Harry and then head home, call me okay."
"Okay."
Later in the evening when Olivia got home, the first thing she did was head to the bathroom and take a quick shower. Fitz called her when she was on her way home and told he'd be there around 9pm and that he was bringing food. She used the time to do some online shopping, not that she needed anything she just wasn't sure what else to do. She watched the clock for hours until there was a knock on her door, his knock.
She walked quickly to the door and when she opened it, she could see him smiling ear to ear with two brown paper bags of food in his hands. He was dressed casually, in a gray navy sweatshirt and pants.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
She smiled and puckered her lips for a kiss. Fitz was pleasantly surprised by her gesture and he really appreciated that she was putting an effort into repairing their relationship.
He leaned down and gave her waiting lips a soft peck.
"Why yes you can, good sir," she said as she smiled and gave him a curtsey.
The first thing he did was take his shoes off (he remembered her rule) then he headed to the couch. He placed the bags on the coffee table in front of the couch. Olivia joined him on the couch after she closed the door.
"Mm this smells great, what did you get?" she said as she sniffed the bags of food.
"Shrimp scampi for you, chicken parm for me."
He took the food out of the bags and handed her the scampi.
"I'll get us some drinks, what do you want?"
"Do you have beer?"
"Yes, one bottle of beer coming right up."
She went to kitchen and got a beer for Fitz and a canned soda for herself and then went right back to the couch. Fitz was already eating when she got back, so she took her fork and started eating too.
"Why are you so casual tonight, don't you have to go back to the hospital?"
"No, not tonight."
"Really, Gerry didn't want you there tonight?"
Fitz smiled.
"He told me not to stay with him tonight which knowing Gerry he just wanted me to stay here with you."
Olivia smiled.
"Well, I will thank him profusely tomorrow."
Fitz took a few more bites and then stopped eating and placed his food on the table, she knew that meant he wanted to talk to her seriously so she placed her food down as well.
"Liv you know what I'm going to ask you."
She took a deep breath before responding.
"I didn't sleep last night after you left, I thought I could but I couldn't."
"Was it because you were alone here?"
"Probably. I'm used to Abby being right down the hall from me, if I go to sleep and have a bad dream or something, I'd just go sleep in her room with her but like I said I have to adjust."
"Yes but you don't have to adjust all by yourself, I can stay here with you sometimes and when I can't make it where then you can stay with me."
Olivia smiled.
"Stay with you at the whitehouse, no way."
Fitz chuckled.
"I knew you were going to say that, so I have another solution, when I can't physically make it here, I will defy science and be in two places at once, how does that sound?"
"Now that makes sense," she teased.
"Yes, I thought you might like that but you know we'll need to work out an actual solution right?"
"I know."
She snuggled closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Ask me a question, anything you want to know."
He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, as close as she could get. She was always careful to wear sleeves but she didn't tonight and Fitz could see clearly the scars that ran down her arms. He took her arm in his and ran his thumb over her scar.
"Can you tell me why you did that?"
"I just had a bad night that's all?"
"That's not an explanation Liv, that's an excuse."
She let out a soft breath and began.
"When I got back to New York the ptsd was worse than I anticipated. I couldn't sleep for days at a time and even when I did fall asleep, I'd just have nightmares that I'd wake up from. I couldn't eat, I could barely take showers because I was so afraid of the water, the constant panic attacks and migraines didn't make it any easier. It had been four days since that the last time I slept on the night it happened, I'm still not even sure how I lasted so long but I was really tired and I kept taking pills to keep me awake. I started hallucinating and it was like I could feel every single thing they'd done to hurt me and I just wanted it to stop. I figured if I hurt myself then no one else could so I went to the bathroom and I filled my bathtub to the brim with warm water and then I took a razor and I did what I did then I got in the tub and I waited. I didn't take very long for me to lose consciousness, the next time I woke up I was in the hospital with Abby."
Fitz was quiet for a while and she wondered if she told him too much.
"When I called to speak with you, why didn't you talk to me?"
Olivia shrugged.
"Because I was angry."
"At me?"
"No Fitz not at you. I was angry that I didn't succeed."
"Olivia, why would you be angry that you didn't succeed?"
"Because my father was still alive and I knew that as long as he was alive he'd still try to hurt me. After I left the hospital it got worse, so bad that I was going to try again but then you called, I wasn't going to answer but for some reason I did and then you told me that you killed him in that raid and I don't think I've ever felt so at peace before, that night I slept like a damn baby. Fear can be crippling and I didn't realize how afraid of him I was until he died. The next morning I called my therapist and went for my first appointment and slowly things started getting better."
It was a lot to take in and she could tell Fitz was processing it all.
"Hey don't go silent on me, you were the one who asked."
"No, I'm really glad you told me. I feel like when I know what your going through I can be a better man to you."
"I'm glad you mentioned that because now I need you to tell me what happened to you while I was gone."
"What do you mean what happened to me?"
"I mean I was gone Fitz for a long time, I imagine if it was you that were taken, I'd have a hard time too."
He chuckled humorlessly.
"Hard is an understatement for what it was like not knowing where you were or if you were alive for three months."
She wrapped both her arms around his neck and nestled him then she kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"I love you so much Fitz."
She kissed him again, she expected him to take over the kiss but he didn't, he was unusually well behaved.
"What? You aren't gonna shove your tongue down my throat, don't hold back on me now Fitz," she teased.
He smiled and pulled her back and kissed her again, the way he wanted to, with want and passion and a whole lot of tongue and he didn't stop until he thought they both might pass out from not breathing. When Fitz broke the kiss, Olivia buried her face into his chest giggling.
"You know, you're pretty great right now but don't get comfortable because if you wanna be with me there are gonna be rules," she said as she sat up and threw her legs over his lap.
Fitz pulled off his sweater to get more comfortable, he wasn't sure if it was the room that was warm or if it was the fact that Olivia so close to him but he was hot and he knew that it wasn't a good time to have the feelings he had because he didn't think she was ready. He wasn't going to make a move unless she expressed her unmitigated desire for him, however long that took he planned on waiting, whether or was a day or a year in the future.
"Rules? What rules?" He asked.
"You want me to be your woman right?"
"You are my woman," Fitz said definitively.
She giggled.
"Good answer, you're smart it's almost like you went to college or something."
"Still a troublemaker aren't you?"
"Old habits die hard."
Olivia readjusted herself and laid her head in his lap, the caffeine was wearing off and drowsiness was upon her.
"Tell me a funny story that happen to you."
Fitz smiled.
"I have one but you won't think of me the same I can promise you that."
Olivia sat up.
"Exciting, I wanna wear it," she said cheerfully in stark contrast to the tiredness she was feeling.
"Okay, I was in my junior year at Harvard, I remember we used to get fucked up all the time, me and the other rich brats I hung out with. We did mostly mushroom and weed, never the hardcore stuff, I never did coke like 43."
"Who's 43?"
"My predecessor."
"I knew that," Olivia lied.
"One night I was in my dorm room, there was this random dog that used to wander around the grounds back then and we took it upon ourselves to hide him in our dorm even though it was again the rules. Anyways, I was high one night, my roommate went to his girlfriend's house and it was just me and the dog, his name was Thor."
"You guys were assholes."
"Yes we were," Fitz laughed, "I was high and spread eagle on the couch in some really huge underpants with my balls hanging out. I had the munchies and I was eating nachos, I felt something wet tickling me."
"Fitz don't say it," Olivia laughed.
"Olivia this damn dog must've been licking my balls for about 20 minutes before I realized, that's how high I was."
"You're disgusting."
She could barely get the words out because she was laughing so hard.
"Did you stop him?" She said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Honestly I don't think I did, I just remember waking up the next morning and it was really awkward between us and I told him he had to go."
"You kicked him out?"
"Don't worry I brought him to a shelter, he was cool though, you would have liked him. Now that I think about it, we smoked so much around him that he might have been high at the time too."
Olivia was still laughing.
"That poor dog, now I feel like I need a dog just to make up for what you did to him."
Fitz chuckled and watched as Olivia laughed and laid in his lap once again.
"Are you nervous about tomorrow?" He asked as he stroked her hair.
"A little, it's not a complicated procedure though, it takes maybe 20 minutes, I think it will go great."
"So do I."
He leaned back on the couch and continued stroking her hair. They sat quietly and not before long Fitz realized she was a little too still and when he looked down, she was fast asleep.