Flume – Never Be Like You (feat. Kai)
Taylor opened her eyes, but when the sunlight flooded her vision, she groaned and pulled the pillow over her face. A vice was squeezing her skull, and the memory of the dozen glasses of wine she'd consumed the night before crashed over her with a wave of nausea. She laid there in misery for a few moments until the queasiness passed, before rolling over and slowly sitting up.
"Someone turn off the sun." She put her head in her hands, trying to remember where she had packed her ibuprofen. The sound of shuffling in the room made her snap her head up. She instantly regretted it, at the stab of pain that originated behind her eye and went all the way to the base of her skull.
Connor was pulling the blinds closed on the window, and the vague memories of the night before started to flitter before her subconscious. The more she remembered, the more anxious she became, so that when he turned around, her face was twisted into a grimace.
"You stayed?" It was all she could think to say as he looked her over, that familiar expression of concern knitting his brow.
"You didn't give me a final answer," he said by way of explanation. She slid out of the bed and walked over, digging through her bag for a headache remedy.
"What time is it?" She asked, the pill bottle rattling as she pulled it free. She dumped a couple into her hand, stared at them for a few seconds, then dumped a couple more.
"Ten twenty-seven," Connor responded. Her hand froze on the bottle of water she was reaching for, but only for a second. She'd already tossed the pills in her mouth and chased them.
"Alex hasn't come?" Was her next question as she lowered herself into the chair at the vanity, a sudden wave of dizziness hitting her. Connor hovered by the window, watching, but didn't come any closer.
"He came by a couple of hours ago. I told him you were asleep." She glanced up, eyes wide.
"He came here and you answered the door?" Her voice inadvertently raised a couple of octaves and she winced. Connor blinked at her reaction.
"Yes," he replied, uncertain now. Taylor groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Should I not have?"
"No, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong," she peered up at him, her lips twitching into a smile. "I'm just never going to be able to convince him we're just friends now."
"Oh." She'd been busy imagining Alex's merciless teasing after she'd told him straight to his face the night before that she didn't have any feelings for Connor and then finding said android in her hotel room. The soft tone of his voice brought her attention back to the present.
She locked gazes with him, suddenly self-conscious. There were erratic strands of hair falling into her eyes, she knew her head must look like a rat's nest, with makeup smudged around her eyes. Not that any of that mattered.
"I'm sorry for whatever I said to you last night." She could still only remember bits and pieces of their conversation. Enough to know that Connor had tried to convince her to say yes to Markus, she had cried in front of him again, and she vaguely remembered trying to kiss him. He tilted his head, considering her.
"Will you reconsider Markus's proposal?" Taylor frowned, but her headache had started to ease off. She stood and moved closer to him.
"My reasons haven't changed. I still think you should do it." Connor frowned back at her.
"The reason being that you don't think that you can?" She glanced down, but he reached up to touch her face, bringing her attention back to him. "I believe in you." Her eyes widened. "What if we both do it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'll help you. Come with you. Whatever you need me to do." Taylor continued staring into his eyes, but she was considering him now, her head slightly tilted.
"You sure about that?" Her lips curved into a small smile. "You'll be stuck with me this way. You already know how I am."
"I think I'll survive," he said solemnly. "Just try not to get drunk every night. Between you and the Lieutenant, I'm not sure I can keep up."
"Noted," she said, dissolving into giggles. He smirked, pulling his fingers from her face. Taylor watched his hand fall away, swallowing. She turned away. "I'm going to take a shower and figure out how to tell Alex that I'm not coming back to California yet."
"I should return to the Lieutenant." Connor said. She was rummaging through her suitcase, frowning, but she stood when he spoke and pulled him into a hug.
"Thank you, Connor." She released him and grabbed the bundle of clothes she had set aside. "I'm going to have to go shopping. I did not pack enough clothes for this."
"I'll come back later, and we can go see Markus together?" He watched as she headed for the bathroom but paused to throw him a smile over her shoulder.
"Sounds good."
Taylor knocked swiftly on Alex's hotel door before she lost her nerve. She couldn't imagine how this was going to go, exactly, except that he was going to be upset. Her head was cycling through various scenarios and ways to start the conversation when the door finally opened.
Alex looked her over before he moved aside to let her in. As she stepped into the room, she came face to face with a mirror of her own across the hall. His laptop was open on the vanity, and he crossed the space to resume his seat in front of it.
Taylor took a hesitant seat on the edge of the bed. Alex resumed whatever he was doing before she had entered, his fingers flying over the keyboard while she waited. She wasn't in a hurry, so she watched the TV playing the news on low, just like hers had been the night before.
"So," he turned, propping his arm on the back of the chair, fixing her with his green eyes, "Connor is staying in your hotel room now?"
"No! I mean, he did, but it's not like that." She could feel her face getting hot. Alex was grinning, the amusement apparent in his features.
"You know, when I dropped you off in that room, you assured me that you were going right to sleep." He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Did you invite him over?"
"For god's sake! I lied to you! I ordered room service," she huffed. "Connor came to talk to me about Markus's proposal."
The humor faded from his expression. They stared at each other in silence, the heat slowly draining away from her face.
"You're staying, then?" He asked it with such defeat that she felt the guilt cracking her heart in two. Still she forced herself to nod.
"I'm afraid." She had to be honest now. She owed Alex that much. "I don't know if I can do it. But I want to see this through."
"I'm afraid too, you know." Alex leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her. "Not because you got hurt, Taylor, though that's terrifying enough. You could have been killed more than once. That's not what I'm talking about."
"I know," she glanced down at her hands, clenched in her lap. She twisted her fingers together before she looked up again, but Alex was still looking at her hands.
"Do you? You avoided my calls. You avoided calls from your doctor. You've been unnecessarily reckless." He met her eyes again. Taylor could feel her lips twitch, wanting to respond, but she kept quiet. "How many panic attacks have you had since you've been here?"
"That's not fair," she protested.
"Why did you stay in that house for so long?" He persisted, frowning. She looked away again. "I'm worried for you, and whether you're taking care of yourself. Because it feels like you're doing the opposite."
She opened her mouth to say something, to defend herself, but she couldn't think of anything to say. Last night, when Alex had called her a good actress, she didn't think he'd seen through her so easily. She should have known better. He'd known her for most of her life.
"How am I supposed to go back to California and leave you here alone?" His voice was soft, his brow furrowed. "You think I don't remember how hard those first couple of years in L.A. were?"
"I won't be alone." She raised her head again, finally. "I'll have Connor, and Markus. Maybe even Hank. I know you feel responsible for me, but you have a family now Alex. I have to do something on my own."
"Is that what this is really about?" Alex sat up straight, his voice acquiring an edge. "You think that because I had a kid that I don't have time for you anymore? Are you trying to punish me for that?"
"No!" She glared at him. "What am I, five? I'm happy for you. And Becca. But at the same time, I can't keep using you like a crutch. It isn't fair. I have to grow up."
The silence that settled around them felt thick. Heavy. Alex was still frowning, but his expression suddenly eased, and he turned back to the computer, away from her. She stared at his shoulders, confused.
"What about your real job? Are you still turning down work?" The sudden change in topic jarred her.
"What work?" Taylor slid toward the edge of the bed but didn't stand. She wanted him to turn back around and look at her.
"Well you did live stream that whole episode between you and your stepfather. I think I've gotten about a million requests for interviews. Then there's all the usual stuff, which I will forward to you if you're interested."
"Can I do a repeat with Michael Brinkley?" Alex finally turned at that, but she was smiling. "I owe Rachel an exclusive, though."
They stared at each other for a minute longer, her smile slowly fading. "I'll be okay, Alex. I'll try to do better. I promise."
"Listen," he stood from his chair. "I'm not going to try to stop you from doing what you want. I'm flying out in the morning. I just want you to remember that I'm here for you. No matter what happens."
"I know that." She stood, throwing her arms around him. "Thank you. For coming. For caring about me."
He put his arms around her shoulders, squeezing, and held on. She thought she felt him shudder, but when he pulled away, a smile on his face, she wondered if she had imagined it. "Send me the work. I don't know how busy this ambassador thing is going to be, but I'll do what I can."