a/n: Displacing Sakura from her canon timeline actually really depresses me, so I don't like to do it, but I also really want to explore this dynamic. TT_TT It doesn't help that I'm actually in the middle of writing a Kakasaku multi-chap but find myself with a block, so I'm just pushing out this small idea I had to help me move past this block. That means this is going to be kind of sloppily written.
–––
Before They Get Better
–––
They were both young when they met.
Actually, she met him, but he hadn't really seemed to notice her–and she was okay with that, because it was kind of refreshing when someone didn't point her out, mouth gaping, eyes wide and round because is your hair real?!
So yeah. It really was okay that she'd flown under his radar. Maybe it helped that his hair mimicked a hat of milk and that he always wore a mask. Maybe it meant that he knew what it was like to be made a spectacle of.
And as much as he was a boy and she was young and boys were still shove-a-finger-down-your-throat gross, she thought he seemed very sweet. He was so happy when his dad came to pick him up, and he'd been nice to Obito, who was nice, too, though sometimes a little too over-the-top.
Yeah. Overall, she found him rather likable. So she waved to him some mornings, surprised when he waved back the first time because did that mean he had noticed her? But also surprised every time after, though she didn't really understand why.
He wore a mask, but she could tell when he smiled, and when she waved, he smiled. So she kept waving, and he kept smiling, and she'd duck her head and smile to herself for it.
–––
It wasn't much longer after they'd met when she noticed one day that his dad didn't come anymore.
He didn't smile much after that. Didn't smile at all, actually. She would wave most mornings (every morning) and whatever recognition there once was had left him, because he walked by without sparing even a glance, eyes blank.
She had heard rumors of his father. She didn't really understand the implications–to be honest, she thought Hatake-san had done the right thing. But she was only four, her parents scolded, what did she know?–but she knew that his father had made him smile, and so certainly there was a loss.
Something about it made her want to take matters into her own hands.
So she spent several weeks patching together a little stuffed dog–because everybody liked dogs, right?–and when she was done and satisfied with the small brown pug, she set it at his seat with a bough from a sakura tree.
Later, when he came in, he slid it to the side without a second glance, stared ahead as the lesson dawdled on, then picked up his books and left, leaving the dog behind.
Well, she'd tried. With a sigh, she picked everything up and threw it into the bin.
–––
He graduated ahead of her despite being in her class. They'd put him in his appropriate age group, but apparently his intelligence required he be placed higher. But when he'd been placed higher, he'd only further excelled, and thus, he'd graduated at five years old.
She thought she'd hear stories soon of the five year old missioning with the standard 11 year old graduates, but she didn't. Whispers along the grapevine suggested however that a six year old had received a private field promotion (but really, how private could it be if the entire village was talking about it…) to chunin, the urgencies of war and all that jazz, and she knew it was him.
(She would find several years later that he would take the chunin exams with his genin team just for traditions sake.)
–––
Classes grew more involved, and the boy with the mask slipped from her mind just like the years slipped through her fingers. Six years passed and the war grew worse.
But she graduated–she graduated top of her class, in fact, thanks to her imperious chakra control and keen attention to details, easily stowed in her memory for later use. She was no prodigy, no genius, but she was smart, hard-working, and quick on her feet.
So she took her hitai-ate with a grateful grin, bowing to the Hokage before skipping out of the doors and into her parents' equally enthusiastic arms. And then, when they'd all pulled away, from the corner of her eye, she saw him again.
He was watching her, that same bored expression on his face from all those years ago. She turned just slightly, shooting him a tentative smile and a wave, only for him to turn away like she wasn't worth his time.
Well. Her temper flared, and she had a thought to give him a piece of her mind… but he was a victim of his circumstances. He'd been so sweet once, and she believed he still was, just buried beneath a lot of tragic rubble.
Later that day, she found him in her leagues of classmates. Oh. He was getting put on a team with genin his age. That made sense. She watched him get teamed up with her friends Rin and Obito.
She was placed in a trio that consisted of Might Guy and Shiranui Genma. They'd both been classmates, but her interactions with them had been sparse. They were nice people, though Guy took some getting used to. She was nothing short of pleased.
There was a rising sense in her that it was quite possible that things would turn out okay.
–––
The more time she spent with the boys, the more she appreciated their eccentricities. On one hand, Guy became more and more of an anomaly–an admirable anomaly, but an anomaly nonetheless.
On the other hand, Genma… well. There was something about the sleepy look in his eyes and the lazy way he would grin around his senbon and banter with Sakura that made her uncomfortable, but only because she knew she was starting to like him, and really. This was embarrassing for her. She didn't have time to feel butterflies, she needed to further her chakra control so that she could hurry up and get better so that they could end the war that loomed ominously in the horizon.
That was how she'd crossed paths with Kakashi, actually. She'd been taking leaps from the trees to the water, then channeling chakra straight to her fists to break ground, all in an effort to improve her control of chakra direction and flow when she'd found him sitting cross-legged on the opposite side of the field, throwing kunai into trees on her side of the field. He hadn't even been looking where he was aiming, but he still hit his mark perfectly.
Their eyes met, and Sakura gave a brief nod. Again, he ignored her.
–––
This was how it went. They continued to meet in random settings. She would give a nod until she stopped one day because she wasn't interested in being ignored. They walked by each other unacknowledged.
Her friendships with the rest of her classmates grew, and save for him, she adored everybody and their funny team stories, though the tension in Minato-sensei's team was a bit unnerving. Otherwise, the feeling that things would get better continued to grow inside her. Genma continued to smile his lopsided smiles at her and exchange biting words (Kurenai never failed to let her know that what they were doing was called flirting and really, she should just hold the stupid boy's hand or something), and Rin shared with her an endless fountain of medical information that Sakura found invaluable.
But then Obito–one of the crucial cogs in their well-oiled friendship-machine–died.
They'd only found out because they'd all convened at the foot of the Tower after their team's individual missions to discuss the burgeoning details of the war that seemed to be revealing themselves, but found every member of Team Minato missing.
Piecing together the murmurings, they each worked it out for themselves. The next time Sakura saw Kakashi, he had his hitai-ate pulled over his left eye and his gaze cast downward.
–––
Rin had often giggled to Sakura privately about how much she admired Kakashi for his dedication and intelligence. Sakura had often countered back that he seemed rather cold to garner such attention from Rin, the warmest person she knew. It didn't help that Sakura knew how dismissive Kakashi had been of his team members, even if Rin said he'd gotten better since Obito's death.
You have to see underneath the underneath, Rin would chide, the smallest smile on her mouth. And when she said that, Sakura would remember the smiling boy from her youth, and she kind of understood. She hoped that Kakashi's heart would find its place again soon, maybe even in Rin's unconditional kindness.
It was with cruel irony that Sakura watched Kakashi and Rin pulled into the hospital on stretchers, both with their hearts missing.
–––
She wasn't sure anymore that things would ever get better. Everything was different without Rin and Obito.
The urgency of war split the teams up. Relationships that were once close grew apart. Her friendship with Genma and Guy slackened to a level on-par with everybody else in her generation, meaning whatever sparks there might have been sizzled to nothingness. Guy greeted her with the same ardor and unequivocal worship of beauty as he always had, but it wasn't the same when she didn't see him nearly every day. Genma's playfulness that had once been limited to her now played the field, and she knew there was nothing there anymore when she realized she didn't care.
It was so hard to care about those things when the stakes were so high.
But no matter what permutation of teammates she ended up with for whatever mission, it was always a good match. And strangely enough, it was different without Kakashi. He'd always been there, even if he'd never said much. But he'd disappeared–assigned to ANBU, according to word of mouth–only showing up occasionally around town.
He was ruthless, she heard. A cold-blooded assassin who didn't bat a single eyelash if someone needed to be done in. The less forgiving called him a "Friend-Killer," but something about it made Sakura's heart tighten. Maybe it was because she knew the underneath of the underneath.
One night, she'd been up late on the training grounds, angrily launching chakra-laden shuriken at helpless trees, watching the shrubs split neatly down the middle and wondering how many more people she loved had to be taken from her before the bullshit would end, when she'd caught movement out of the corner of her eye.
Kakashi.
He was dressed fully in his ANBU attire, leaping from the rooftops to reach his destination. His mask was on, but he wasn't hiding his chakra signature. It seemed he'd stopped to take his time crossing the training fields.
When their eyes met, Sakura turned away, but not before she caught the beginning of what looked like a nod in her direction. When she did a double-take, he was already gone.
It had to be a sign. Right?
–––
After that, their old routine of catching each other in odd places seemed to pick back up. The difference being that now, they nodded mutually at each other.
Perhaps the most frequent place they met was at the Memorial Stone and Rin's grave. He always happened to be going when she was arriving, and outside of being kind of impressed, she was a little miffed because she was the kind of person who folded paper cranes with crisp lines and exact technique and still managed to make exactly 1000 in the three days leading up to festivals, and being earlier than her was to an important ritual one of the harmless ways he was beating her at her own game.
One such meeting, they'd nodded while passing each other, except Kakashi had broken their comfortable ritual with a murmured, "Good morning." Sakura had stopped in her tracks, wondering if she was hearing things now in her grief.
When she turned around sharply, however, he had disappeared (again! This boy and his disappearing act!). She took it as another sign, though she wasn't sure if it was good or bad.
–––
It was bad.
She launched Guy into the air with a chakra-enforced throw, hoping the sheer power he had would break through the barrier. When there wasn't even a shimmer in the jutsu, she screamed, lungs practically collapsing at the intensity with which she was employing them.
It was infuriating and disheartening to know that just a stone's throw away, their Fourth Hokage was sacrificing his and his wife's lives against the monster razing the village, and there was nothing any of them could do about it.
Guy offered his hand to her again, up for another go, and Sakura took it, seething with desperation, jaw clenched so hard she wondered if the taste of blood in her mouth was a tooth cracking. Just as she was about to gather her chakra again, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"It's no use. Save your energy for the aftermath."
The chakra pooling in her palm melted away, and she could only stare mutely at Kakashi. He stared back, and Sakura wondered if the concern in his eye was imagined. "They'll need us after."
"Fine," she replied hoarsely, slumping against a tree and pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes.
–––
They all meet Minato-sensei's son. The little baby is oddly subdued for something that houses such a volatile creature, and when it's Sakura's turn to hold him, she feels tears slide down her nose as she traces the whiskers on his face. She wonders at the injustice of it all.
"You're gonna be okay, buddy," she coos thickly, smiling when the baby whines a little and grabs for her fingers. She lets him catch one of her digits, then feels a presence stepping up beside her.
"You're hogging him," Kakashi says coolly.
Kakashi Hatake has spoken more words to her in the past two days than in her entire life, and that's the only reason she stands stupefied long enough for him to take Naruto away from her.
He holds the little blonde jinchuuriki up by his armpits, a puzzled expression on his face that indicates he has no idea what to do with children. When he starts bouncing him a little, Sakura snorts. "He's going to throw up all over you if you keep that up."
Kakashi shoots her a dirty look, but stops his bouncing. Sakura finds herself smiling.
Naruto throws up on him anyways.
–––
When her generation all pass the exams to jonin–something they'd all put off because really, it wasn't much of a priority during the war or the rebuild–they celebrate at Yakiniku Q and then hustle to the nearest bar to drink themselves stupid (they get a pass for being underage because, well, money is kind of tight after the Kyuubi wrecked the area). Even Kakashi is there, though he doesn't drink and spends most of his time reading in the corner.
She's only had two shots, but the title swims in her field of view. She thinks it says Icha Icha. The cover illustration seems amusing, so she decides that maybe she'll check it out later.
She's another two shots in when she gets the feeling she's being watched. Turning, her eyes meet his, and she smiles and waves a little.
His eye curves and he sends her a friendly wave back.
–––
Some of her friends get assigned genin teams and others commit solely to taking on missions. She heads straight into hospital work however, diving elbow-deep into blood and organs. It's hard being on her own, but she catapults her way to the top, whisperings of comparisons to Tsunade growing more and more common.
She's 21 when a young Uchiha boy is wheeled frantically into the ER. Later, she finds out he is the sole survivor of a massacre… an Uchiha clan massacre, incited by their prodigy. There's nothing she can do for him because as violent as his shaking is, he's not physically damaged. She knows it's his mind that needs repairing, but there aren't enough bandages in the world to fix things like that.
"He'll be fine," she murmurs to the faint white tendrils of hair peeking out from the side of the window.
His voice drifts in like cigarette smoke. "His brother was in my squad."
Sakura shakes her head and pulls off her gloves. This is information he's not supposed to share with people outside of the force, but Kakashi has become oddly open with her since that fateful day in the bar. "It's not your fault."
"The Sandaime discharged me."
Sakura freezes.
"I'll be taking a team in the next round of graduates."
She finds herself again, resting her elbows on the window sill and laying her chin on her palms, smiling smugly out at him. "Oh dear."
"That's what everybody else keeps saying," Kakashi mumbles, disgruntled. Sakura laughs, pulling herself back into the room to make a move on to the next patient.
She doesn't see how he leans briefly into the room, chasing the sound of her laughter.
–––
It's her day off, so she's stocking up on groceries for the week. As she's passing by Ichiraku, she sees Kakashi loitering outside while Asuma and Kurenai inconveniently block the entrance as they heatedly hash out a disagreement.
Kakashi looks nice in his jonin uniform, Sakura finds herself noticing. Then her eyebrows pinch because she's known him for nearly four years in that uniform and up until now, she's never had such a thought about him. Shooing the reflection away, she thinks instead that he should barely count as a teacher–he hasn't passed a single team yet!
"Ah, Sakura-chan," Kakashi lifts his head and smiles at her, eye creasing in that tell-tale way. Sakura rolls her own eyes.
"Shirking your duties again?"
"Ah, we can't all have it as easy as you," he grins. Sakura raises her brows. That's the first time she's ever heard that. Most people are quick to let her know that as hard as their jobs are, they're just glad they're not in her position.
"It'd be a lot easier if you didn't keep avoiding your monthly check-ups. I hope none of your future teams pick up that habit. If you ever pass a team, that is," Sakura says scornfully, resuming her relaxed pace again. Kakashi falls into step behind her, ditching his previous company.
"I can't help that I get distracted on the way to the hospital and miss my appointment time. Lots of little old ladies need help crossing the streets, especially after missions." He holds out a hand as though offering to take a bag from her, like he's trying to prove a point. She blinks at him. He is offering to take a bag for her! She doesn't need the help… but ends up handing one over anyways. When he looks pleased, she glances away for just a second, extreme confusion coloring her face.
But when she faces forward again, she's schooled her expression into one of practised nonchalance. Conversationally, Kakashi comments, "The next group includes Naruto and Sasuke."
Sakura's grip around her groceries tightens just a squeeze. She knows Kakashi has been assigned to watch over them since Naruto's birth and the Uchiha massacre, respectively. He's basically telling her that there's no way out of this one.
"Congratulations," she says, finding the entire thing a bit morbidly humorous. "You'll finally get a taste of parenting. Maybe once you've figured that out, you'll fall in love, too!" Then she frowns exaggeratedly. "If you're even capable."
She grins cheekily at him, pulling out her apartment keys. Kakashi is smiling his fake-ass little smile at her. He places her groceries on the floor, then takes a step back and says, "I'm very capable," before shooting her a pleasant wave and vanishing in a puff of swirling smoke.
Is it wrong of her to feel a little perturbed?
–––
It turns out that Kakashi is assigned a group of two because the entire age-group is short by one–this happens every so often. Nobody is really surprised that Kakashi's been saddled with the "problematic children," as the village civilians dub them.
"That's what you get for failing every team before," Genma snarks at him. Kakashi gives a great heave of a sigh, eyebrows drooped in resignation.
"They at least passed the bell test." Kakashi's eyes slide to Sakura.
She catches his look and lifts a shoulder, half-smiling. "It's not as fun when there aren't three though, is it?" Sakura teases, quickly snatching the bells from his waistband herself and examining them. "Did they really work as a team?"
Kakashi nods. "They make a surprisingly good team when they're not trying to outdo each other. I'm starting to think it's worked out in everybody's favor that there wasn't a third female member. They're already rivals on their own, I can't imagine what a love triangle would do."
"You're just too lazy to deal with something you don't understand," Sakura grouses, pocketing the bells when Kakashi isn't watching. "She probably would've gotten left behind anyways."
Kakashi pouts at her. "Have a little more faith, Sakura-chan."
Genma leans against the bar counter. "I'm with Sakura on this one." He grins at the pink-haired kunoichi when she smiles gratefully at him, clearly pleased with his agreement.
"Don't encourage her," Kakashi deadpans, flipping open his book in an act of avoidance.
They each share another drink before Sakura yawns, stretching her fingertips towards the ceiling. "I've got a morning shift tomorrow, so I should leave now. See you guys later!" Placing down a few bills, she swivels out of her seat, making her way to the door.
Kakashi stops her just as she's about to head out, spinning her around with a quick tug of her hip. He smiles down at her, hand warm against her. Her heart starts to beat loudly in her ears and she leans away from him slightly, hoping her face will cool off if there's a little more distance between them.
"What is it?" Sakura asks, frowning.
"Just wanted to say good night." His eye creases and his hand drops away from her side–it feels oddly like a loss.
Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, Sakura backs away. "Good night, Kakashi."
Later, when she reaches her apartment and fishes around in her pockets for her keys, she realizes the bells are gone. She curses Kakashi loudly and he sneezes several streets over, grinning because he knows.
–––
The sun is bearing down gently on the village as she makes her way to the training grounds to brush up on her taijutsu skills. Just as she's about to summon a few clones, Kakashi shows up, bombastic blonde and sullen Sharingan-user in tow.
"I'm not babysitting," Sakura says, crossing her arms and taking a quick step back. Naruto and Sasuke both manage to look offended at the insinuation.
"Ah, Sakura-chan"–she notices from the corner of her eye the way the kyuubi-container stares widely at her–"that wasn't what I was going to ask. How about a spar?"
"Me against you three?" Sakura says dubiously. She can hold her own against Kakashi in a one-on-one without the Sharingan, but she feels wrong underestimating Naruto (who's still staring at her unsettlingly) and Sasuke (who's glaring at her oddly, but she'll learn later that that's just his face).
"I'll lend you my ninken." Ninken? She can barely get a word in edgewise before he's already drawn blood and summoned them. They're yapping at her heels, one of them specifically climbing her to give her face a good kiss.
When the enthusiastic kisser bounds to her side, she sees a smaller dog, a pug, at her feet. He raises a paw. "Yo. I'm Pakkun."
"Hello," Sakura answers, bereft of words. Pakkun looks oddly familiar. When Sakura looks up uncertainly at Kakashi, he's smiling at her, but not the usual empty smile. It is something soft and nothing she's ever seen on him before. Nothing she thinks anybody has ever seen on him before.
Turning away to escape the unnerving look and hopefully also the unusual thundering in her rib cage, she's met with something suspicious and calculating on either boys' faces. There is no escape.
Fortunately, she and the ninken win (whether this is because the ninken know Kakashi or because Naruto is more of a hindrance than a help, nobody is sure), and Naruto races circles around her begging her to teach him her chakra control while Sasuke begrudgingly stands to her left, hoping to listen in on any tips she concedes to Naruto. Sakura tries to give them her undivided attention, tries very hard not to get distracted by Kakashi crouching in the distance, discussing something with Pakkun as they both occasionally turn to watch her.
–––
After an impromptu lesson in chakra control, Naruto invites her pleadingly to come to Ichiraku with him and Sasuke and him and Kakashi and him–don't worry, Kakashi will pay (Kakashi looks over their heads at Sakura and shakes his head microscopically). Laughing, Sakura accepts the generous offer, letting Naruto hold her hand just because he's really cute when he looks so determined and so pleased with himself.
Lo and behold, Guy comes creeping onto the scene mid-meal and Kakashi ditches swiftly, lest he be pulled into a four-day long challenge because it's Guy's turn to decide the task. Sakura takes the fall (she'd been expecting it), thanking Teuchi and Ayame before waving goodbyes to both of the boys.
–––
"Naruto's become extremely obstinate towards me since that spar," Kakashi says, a tint of accusation in his words.
She stops swabbing alcohol over the patient's arm to raise her eyebrows at Kakashi. "What are you trying to say?"
"What did you say to them at Ichiraku?"
Sakura scoffs. "I didn't say anything."
Kakashi shakes his head, disbelieving. "I don't know how much longer I can handle these two. Our mission to Wave was successful, but… disastrous, really. And the chunin exams were no better."
"I heard," Sakura answers quietly. They'd lost the Sandaime. "Jiraiya's in town."
Kakashi's eyes sidle from his book to her hands, which are currently administering a vaccine of some sort. He understands the implication in her words.
"Ah," Kakashi says suddenly, tone of his voice becoming light and cheery. His book claps shut, startling the patient. "Guess there's nothing to be done about those rebellious pre-teens!" Sakura rolls her eyes, then sticks a band-aid over the patient's puncture wound.
"You'll feel a little stiff in that shoulder for the next two days, but that's normal and you can still go about your routines," Sakura says cordially, leading the shinobi out. "Have a good day, Takahashi-san!" When the door clicks shut, she heads over to the sink to wash her hands. "Will you be training Sasuke on your own?"
Something dark passes the copy-nin's face. "That's the hope."
–––
The burn marks on Sasuke's hand suggest he's been taught chidori. As she exits the room, she presses her face into her hands and sighs, lips pursing. What the hell is Kakashi thinking? Not that she can ask, because he's passed out from exhaustion as well, several rooms down.
It's a good month of exchanging information and drinks with several of her colleagues. Anko is never shy about letting her know what she thinks about Kakashi and Sakura's "friendship." Kurenai repeats her age-old mantra, "just hold the stupid boy's hand," and now there's the added curiosities of Naruto's friends. Ino in particular seems to keep her eyes peeled for teacher gossip… Sakura wonders if it's because the blank-eyed blonde can smell the tension between her own sensei and Kurenai.
The month drags on until one day, during her day off, Izumo knocks on her door. "He's awake"–he doesn't have time to get another word out, Sakura's already pushed past him.
When she arrives at his room, he's gone. Vein pulsing, fist clenched, she grits her teeth and takes to the streets, because she has a pretty clear idea where he's gone, judging by the two pairs of handprints on the floor. That damned Guy...
Before she can rush out the hospital to give the copy-nin a piece of her mind though, she hears an enthused cry. "Sakura-oneechan!"
"Naruto-kun," Sakura greets, seething as she tugs on her gloves. A cautious look settles over Naruto's features.
"Are you okay?" He asks timidly, sensing an oncoming storm.
"Just fine," Sakura snarls through her smile. Naruto shrinks.
"Sasuke-kun is in the next room over. The new hokage is here to heal him! She's a great medical shinobi!" Then he grins widely, every tooth bared. "I brought her back!"
"Is that so?" Sakura straightens and smooths her hair down. "Good work, Naruto-kun." He beams at her, and for a hot second she forgets her anger long enough to smile at him and hug him against her hip. But she's back to business in the matter of a second. "I'll be sure to pass on my greetings when I'm done beating the shit out of someone." She bursts out the building doors.
"She's scary, huh?" Naruto squeaks out after a beat, trembling. "I think she could give you a run for your money."
Tsunade, who's been watching from the entrance of Sasuke's room, purses her lips and narrows her eyes, nodding slowly in interest. There's something there that she could really work with.
–––
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sakura shouts, landing gracefully besides the shinobi currently making rounds around the village.
"Taking a walk."
"On your hands?" Sakura shrieks. "Where's Guy? I'm going to beat some sense into him"–
"Guy's with Lee. Something happened."
"Then what are you doing!" Sakura cries again, not so much asking a question as much as she is expressing her incredulity.
"It was the challenge before shit hit the fan."
"You couldn't wait longer? You had to do it right after you got healed?" She keeps tempo with him, ignoring the funny looks from passersby. He's going surprisingly quickly for someone on his hands, perhaps to escape her increasing wrath?
"Mah, Sakura-chan. Challenges can only wait so long."
"Challenges can wait forever!"
"Spoken like someone who has never been challenged," Kakashi says blithely. Sakura sees red.
"What lap are you on?!"
"304?" He's not quite sure himself. Sakura growls.
"Guy stopped at 279 before he got news of Tsunade coming to see Lee."
"Ah, is that so!" He finally flips adroitly to his feet, resuming his walk except now with Icha Icha in his hands.
"Don't 'is that so' me, you bastard!" Sakura snaps. "Do you have any idea how worried we all were?!"
"I certainly have an idea of how worried you were," Kakashi says jovially. "I woke up surrounded by a literal field of sakura boughs. Are you trying to prove something about my name, Sakura-chan?" That leaves her speechless. He chuckles. "I gathered them and now there's a full-fledged cherry tree in my apartment."
Flushing, she shakes her head rapidly. "Don't change the subject"–
"I'm also pretty sure Naruto's been stubborn with me recently because he thinks I'm an obstacle in the way of his affections for you," Kakashi continues casually, looking contemplative. "Isn't that funny?"
"I–what're you"–
"He seems to think I'm in love with you"–
"That's ridiculous"–
"And that you feel the same way about me."
Her jaw snaps shut. They've both stopped in the middle of the road.
"What do you think?" Kakashi asks Sakura, playful lilt to his voice gone. She notices his book has disappeared and his eye is no longer smiling teasingly at her. Instead, his face is unreadable.
She hates that part of him. It's very ANBU. "I think you're losing it if you're suddenly listening to a 12 year old," Sakura answers stiffly.
"Hmm…" Kakashi looks away. "Not the answer I was hoping for."
Before Sakura can throw him an aporetic look, he's vanished. When the collection of leaves finally settles to the ground, she sees Guy rounding the corner.
–––
It's been a few days since her interaction with Kakashi. She doesn't like to think that they're avoiding each other, because that's juvenile… but she's definitely avoiding him.
She's making rounds in the hospital when Raido appears in the hallway, coming towards her. "Tsunade-sama requested a meeting with you immediately." Perplexed, Sakura nods in understanding before taking off.
It's a short walk to the Hokage's office. When she enters, she bows deeply. "Hokage-sama. I've heard about you."
"And I've heard about you," Tsunade hums, pouring herself another cup of sake as she continues to rest her cheek on her fist.
Sakura's eyes widen. "Is that why you asked for me?"
"Oh good, she's smart, too," Tsunade jokes.
"Oh!" Sakura's gaze lingers on Tsunade, finally taking a good look. She blinks. "That seal on your forehead… is it…?"
Tsunade raises her eyebrows. "You know?"
"I–I theorized. I hadn't applied any ideas I had yet, but to know it's possible…"
The busty blonde shows no signs of shock, but her silence speaks volumes. She wonders how far Sakura would've gotten if she'd never appeared, wonders if this girl in front of her is just a few steps behind her. Tsunade clears her throat, desires confirmed. "I'd like to take you on as an apprentice."
Sakura's breath stutters to a stop. "I… that would be… an honor."
Tsunade waves a hand. "We'll start next week, you and Shizune will work together. I'll be in charge of scheduling your hospital shifts now, report to this office every morning."
"Thank you." The kunoichi bows again, stepping backwards. "...Shishou."
The door clicks shut. Tsunade contemplates the title, then smirks. It's got a good ring to it.
–––
"Shannaro!" Sakura cries when she leaves the tower, punching the air. She can't wait to tell everybody! Can't wait to rub it in everybody's faces… She dances a little on the spot.
It just so happens that Kakashi walks by the tower at that moment, nose buried in his book. Anybody who really knows Kakashi can see that he doesn't have his full attention on Icha Icha though: his eyes are looking at the words in front of him but reading his surroundings.
"Kakashi!" Sakura yelps, racing from the doors to catch up to him.
"Ah, Sakura, you're going to have to keep your voice down, the boys"–
She ignores whatever it is he's trying to say to her, launching herself at him. He catches her, stumbling backwards a step. "I just got an apprenticeship with the Hokage!" She practically sings.
"I'm not surprised at all," Kakashi grins. "She wouldn't be fit for the title if she overlooked you."
Sakura's thighs tighten around him as she laughs brightly at his compliment. When she finishes laughing, the grin keeps on her face and she ruffles his hair, chest taut with emotion.
They grow quiet, Sakura's hand falling back into place on his shoulder as they continue smiling at each other. The reality of their situation settles on them though, and their smiles begin to fade. Kakashi finally breaks the silence with a soft, "Congratulations."
It's not even a second after before Sakura wraps her hands in his hair and presses her mouth to his. Kakashi doesn't hesitate, hoisting her up and drawing her tightly to himself with his arms around her waist. He starts symboling behind her back, and Sakura pulls away just enough to ask breathlessly, "What're you doing?"
"The boys are trying to get under my mask," Kakashi grunts. "I don't want to make it easy for them."
–––
She understands now why Kurenai keeps her relationship with Asuma on the down low. Good things are hard to come by, harder to keep, and it almost seems like a jinx to share something so precious. Telling everybody makes it harder if–or maybe when, because it's inevitable in their line of work–the other dies.
This is what she thinks to herself as she makes her rounds in the hospital, snapping sheets neatly onto their cots, replacing used tools, all the little chores that can seem unimportant but have to be done, especially since her colleagues are so neglectful of these tasks. When she arrives in Sasuke's room to clear out any wilting flowers and ask him how he's feeling, she finds he's not there.
Naruto isn't around either.
A cacophony of birds flushes from the trees outside the window, and Sakura's hair stands on end.
That's when she hears the telltale crackling of lightning–and something whistling? Without blinking, she leaps out the window, bounding up the walls with ease. The sight that greets her is disastrous.
Sasuke is coming straight at Naruto with a full-fledged chidori in his palm, and Naruto… Naruto is heading towards Sasuke with a rasengan. Sakura doesn't have time to analyze the momentous nature of such a jutsu in Naruto's arsenal, she just throws herself between them, reaching her arms out on either side to catch them by their wrists–
She only finds Naruto's, but Kakashi is glaring at her as he grasps Sasuke's. They each throw the respective genin into the water tanks on either side.
Sakura is on him before he can even open his mouth. "You taught him chidori?" She yells, remembering that she'd meant to give him a mouthful about this exact same subject several weeks ago. "What the hell made you think that could possibly be a good idea? After everything that happened? You don't think it's dangerous?"
"Were you trying to murder Naruto?" Kakashi asks Sasuke plainly, acknowledging Sakura's accusations with just a few blank blinks. She bristles and turns to Naruto.
"You think you can just throw a rasengan at anyfuckinbody?" She slaps the water tank, dislodging it from its bolts and spinning it so that its back is now facing the front. The tiny leak that was sputtering behind Naruto earlier reveals itself to be a front for the massive damage in the back. Sakura bangs the side of her fist repeatedly against the steel. Both boys flinch at the sound and the growing dent. "You were going to kill him! You were going to kill each other!"
Sasuke has apparently had enough, something hard in his eyes as he steps back and examines Naruto's damage. He makes a smooth exit, neither Kakashi or Sakura bothering to stop him, but they do exchange a look that suggests they understand the impending danger of what's just occurred.
"Naruto, go back to your room," Sakura commands coolly, watching as the boy grimaces and leaps across the roofs in the direction of his apartment. "You can come out, Jiraiya," Sakura growls, walking over to the other tank and sending a fist into it. The force of the dent from her side pushes the tank out on the other, bumping Jiraiya out. The Sannin smiles sheepishly, rubbing his neck.
"My, my, Sakura! You've grown to be just like Tsunade!" Then, dismally and to the side, he mumbles, "Beautiful but scary…"
"I think Naruto's a bit young to be wielding that jutsu, Akatsuki or no," Kakashi comments, disapproval in his vowels. He looks grimly at Jiraiya.
"I could say the same to you," Jiraiya says seriously. "Didn't think Sasuke was the type to fire a chidori at his teammates. Is there something going on between the two?"
"Constant dick-measuring contests, just like the ones you had with Orochimaru," Sakura snaps. "Why are women the only level-headed ones?" She grumbles to herself.
Kakashi and Jiraiya exchange a look that suggests "level-headed" is not the word either of them would have gone with. Before anybody can say anything more, Kakashi stands up and brushes his hands off, hopping to the floor with ease. "I've got some business to take care of." He walks towards the edge of the building, brushing past Sakura and murmuring darkly, "We need to talk. I'll see you later," before taking off.
Sakura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in. "How long has that been going on?" Jiraiya asks loudly in his characteristically blunt way. Sakura's eyes snap open.
She scowls. "A month." Her words are clipped, irritated. She hates being found out. She hates that it's that obvious.
Jiraiya frowns thoughtfully, then nods. "Well, good luck."
Sakura gives him a long look. "Luck's not what we need," she sighs before taking off herself.
Jiraiya's eyes trail after her. He breathes in, then lets it out in a loud gust, shaking his head. "Kakashi." The Sannin pouts. "That lucky bastard."
–––
There's a knock on the door, and she knows it's him. Ready to give him a piece of her mind, she swings the door open, fist clenched and mouth already open. As soon as their eyes meet, however, Kakashi presses his hands to her face and leans down to kiss her soundly.
His inexplicable desperation takes the edge off her anger. He's distressed and she has no idea why. Pulling away, she takes his face in her hands. His gloved hands drop to his sides. "What's wrong?" She asks softly, frowning. When he doesn't respond, she purses her lips. "Did Sasuke say something?" More silence. "Was it about your father?" He flinches, only enough that someone as close as Sakura would notice. Tentatively, she suggests, "Obito and Rin?"
That does the trick.
She barely has time to take another breath before he's wedged her against the wall and hitched her legs around him, mouth working against hers as he runs his fingers up her sides, under her dress and around her breasts. He groans when he finds she's unwrapped.
"Kakashi," Sakura pleads, breath hitching when he thumbs her nipples. Seeing Kakashi like this unnerves her, but she can't deny the spark that runs down her spine and straight into the pit of her stomach. "Tell me what's wrong."
He works her shorts down, then presses her up with his arm under her to keep her afloat as he shoves his other hand down his pants as well, reaching for–
Sakura stops him, wrapping her hand around his wrist. "This isn't going to help," she whispers. "Talk to me, Kakashi."
The fight rushes out of him and he drops her evenly, placing a fist against the wall above her and laying his forehead against it, eyes squeezing shut. He can sense Sakura shifting beneath him, probably making herself modest again, but he ignores it and allows himself to breathe deeply for a minute before reaching his free hand to her cheek, brushing a finger against it. When he finally opens his eyes, his usually torpid gaze is clear but tempestuous.
Sakura takes his hand, pulls him to the floor with her so that she's kneeling between his knees. Kakashi cuffs her chin, then places his hands on either side of her face, kissing her. "I love you," he finally grinds out, voice thick. "You have to know I love you."
He says it like he's asking her for confirmation. Do you? Do you know? He's never said it out loud, and hearing it makes Sakura's heart beat harder and harder until she wonders if she's going into cardiac arrest. "I know," she says softly, brows dipping in worry. She's known since the start. Why is he telling her now? "What happened?"
"He asked me if I knew what it was like to lose somebody important to me." Sakura nods. They both have. They have wounds that are still healing and that will never heal correctly, that will leave raised, swollen scars. "I can't lose you, too, Sakura."
His voice cracks, and her heart stutters. He doesn't explain the rest of the story. He doesn't have to. She wraps her legs around him, draws herself close and lays her head on his shoulder, speaking against his neck. "You won't."
–––
Later, when they've "gotten things out of their systems," Kakashi sits up against the headboard, blankets covering him from the waist down as he reads Icha Icha. Sakura lies away from him, still trying to catch her breath. She stretches her limbs, reaching for the parts of the bed that are still cool to the touch.
"Didn't you say earlier that you needed to talk to me? Before you found Sasuke?" She pipes up, cocking her head so that she can look up at him from her back.
"Ah, yeah." Kakashi lays his book down and looks her straight in the eye before they crease with his smile. "Do you have a death wish?" He asks, deceptively pleasant. "Because if you throw yourself between two idiots with massive transformations in their hands again, I will kill you myself."
Sakura squints at him. "I was handling the situation just fine." Then she huffs and shifts her scowl to the ceiling. "And I'd definitely kill you first."
He doesn't argue with her, just rolls onto her as she squeaks under his weight and starts "getting things out of his system" again.
–––
When verdant eyes slide open the next morning, he's already gone. He's gone for several days, in fact, likely one of the missions all the jonins and chunins are being sent out on. The rookies are sent out, too, and she spends so much time in the hospital that her feet have become dead weights.
This is how it goes, isn't it? That things get worse before they get better.
Two days pass, but she isn't keeping count (not the seconds or minutes or hours, not even the days, but the clock has made four and a half rounds and the ticking is beginning to drive her insane). Jonins return beat up, needing stitches and liquids. The genin plus Shikamaru are wheeled in in shambles, practically just pieces of shinobi scramble. Putting them together is like putting together a puzzle that has no loops or sockets on the pieces. Sakura swaps between grinding ingredients for Tsunade and taking her turn sewing Neji's lifeline back in order. When their guts have finally been glued together appropriately, the clock is well past midnight and each child is a patch in Cinderella's gown–whether before or after the magic spell is questionable.
And still, Naruto is gone. Sasuke is gone. Kakashi is gone. Sakura narrows her tired, dark eyes as she inserts Choji's IV. Things must get worse before they get better.
As she follows Tsunade out of Choji's unit, Shizune comes running up the hallway, announcing Neji's recovery. Sakura slumps in reprieve, placing a hand against the wall to steady herself and finally breathe, except Shizune follows up with the info that Naruto and Kakashi have returned.
That breath catches in her chest. She misses the way Tsunade glances at her from the corner of her eye. "Are they okay?"
"Kakashi is fine," Sakura nearly crumples to her knees in relief, "but Naruto is in critical condition."
Sakura's mouth thins. "We've still got one room open in the ICU." Without waiting for further direction, Sakura leaps out of the hallway, bounding in the direction of the room. She's already set everything out by the time Kakashi arrives, Naruto piggybacking as though he's just Kakashi's kid who's stayed up past his bedtime. Sakura bites her tongue, doesn't give herself time to examine the sentimentality of it all, just waves impatiently at the gurney as she performs the obligatory flick and squeeze of the syringe.
When Kakashi opens his mouth, Sakura growls, "Don't. We'll talk about this later."
–––
"This is a two-way thing, Hatake," Sakura hisses, slamming her palm against the table. "If you can't lose me, then I can't lose you. That's how this works. Do you understand?"
"You won't lose me. You didn't."
"That's not the point, you have to tell me that you do these things, you can't just disappear for days at a time"–
"You're not my keeper"–
"I don't need to be anybody's keeper to deserve to know if you're going to be okay"–
"Location is irrelevant, nobody's ever needed to know before, nobody needs to know still"–
"I need to know!" Sakura cries, slamming the side of her fist into the table this time. The wood splinters against her fist, and she refuses to look up at him, hiding behind her hair. "Maybe you don't know because you've lost everybody who needed to know," she says bitterly, voice wet, "or maybe you haven't had someone this close in years," her breathing turns wretched, anxiety making her inhales short and exhales uneven, "but this is what you do when you love someone. You tell them where the hell you are so that they can prepare themselves for every fucking way they might have to sew your stupid bits together, every fucking way they might have to bury your dead body. Just tell me when you go, Kakashi. Please."
For every man who has ever feared Sakura for the punches she can land, they will never know how much scarier she can be: the same women who knocks forests over with a finger falling helplessly into a seat, palms pressed to her eyes as she struggles for breath through gasping sobs. Death makes fools of everybody.
Speechless, all Kakashi can do is sit stiffly. He is good at many things (a genius at them, even) but handling crying humans is a skill that ascends the plane of godliness, a skill that he has absolutely no experience in. Sakura especially, because she wields every emotion with careful consideration–like one wrong swing will destroy her–yet with the dexterity of someone who has spun the blade between her fingers thousands of times.
"I'll tell you," Kakashi murmurs after a long silence, reaching his hands towards her slowly, deliberately, palms up. "Always."
Her head still hangs. She doesn't bother to meet his offering, just swipes her arm against her face and stands up abruptly. "I have to go to the hospital." Nevermind that she just got back from there ten minutes ago.
Kakashi watches her go.
–––
"Sakura-oneechan?" Naruto squeaks, watching her walk in. "Why are you crying?"
"I'm not crying," Sakura says, crying.
"Who did this?" Naruto asks, sounding mean for once in his life.
She doesn't respond at first. "I did," Sakura finally says flatly. Then she laughs because she's an idiot. "I did it to myself."
Naruto makes a face, nose wrinkling. "That means it's Kakashi-sensei."
"Gosh," Sakura says, voice sticky. "Only 12 and already smarter than his teacher."
"Kakashi-sensei knows how people work good enough t'kill 'em but not enough t'live with 'em."
That triggers a little chuckle out of Sakura that turns swiftly into full-blown guffawing. Her tears come for a different reason now. When she's finally able to stand up straight, Naruto is grinning widely at her, showing all his teeth. Sakura quirks a half-smile back at him before pulling up a seat and retrieving an apple and a knife from the end table.
They're quiet as Sakura peels the apple. Naruto's face grows solemn. "Do you have siblings, Sakura-oneechan?" He asks pensively.
"None by blood," Sakura answers knowingly. Naruto's gaze turns from his lap to the moon.
"It doesn't make a difference, does it?" When Sakura shakes her head, Naruto narrows his eyes, bright blue gaze seared with determination.
–––
When Naruto leaves with Jiraiya, the blonde waves at her and Kakashi with his entire body. Sakura waves back with as much care, something bittersweet caught in her throat.
Naruto stops in his tracks for a second before racing back to her, wrapping his arms around the kunoichi. She squeezes him back, biting the inside of her cheek so that she doesn't do anything gross like burst into tears against his forehead protector.
They finally pull apart, Naruto returning giddily to Jiraiya's side. The duo disappears into the horizon and Sakura finally looks to Kakashi. Her stomach flips at the dark look he's pinned on her. She can feel the heat rising to her face.
But then Kakashi ruins it by asking, "Wanna have a kid together?"
Fortunately, there is no damage to the monument upon Kakashi's impact.
–––
(She does say yes eventually,
and things do get better.)
–––
fin.
–––
a/n: I started this fic more than two years ago, in like 2018 or something, jesus christ. I haven't watched Naruto since then but this has just been sitting here (as well as that multichap that I'm STILL working on).
This fic went through so much editing during that time. I even had it planned as a two-part, but reading it now, I feel it honestly just sits better as a oneshot. I really couldn't figure out how to make a part two seamless, especially since it was when the timelines began to converge and I just wasn't interested in rehashing the series from a parallel-universe perspective. Plus, this was never intended as a serious project, just something to get my writer's block out of the way, except then it turned into a project that I had writer's block on LOL.