Eminem – Guts Over Fear (feat. Sia)

"Well, the room service menu is better here anyway." Taylor closed the menu and placed it back on the bedside table. She had just ordered lunch, unwilling to venture out into the streets of D.C. in case people started to recognize her. The airport had been bad enough, and Connor had already started to seem paranoid.

Turning, she crossed the room to sit at the table across from the said android. He wasn't looking at her, his attention on the coin in his hands, rolling it across his knuckles. Tilting her head, she observed him for several moments in silence. His face was carefully blank, however, his LED its cool blue, and as usual she had no idea what he was thinking.

Secretary Headley had astutely noted that Connor had been quiet during their exchange, but more than that he had been quiet all morning. He had barely spoken to her since their exchange in the taxi on the way to the airport. Strumming her fingers against the table distractedly, she figured she deserved the bout of silence.

Her lips parted, his name just on the tip of her tongue. Then she closed them, worked the corner of mouth between her teeth. As much as she wanted to ask if he was angry with her for wanting to go home, to leave him, she was more afraid of knowing. She was compelled to explain that she didn't want to be apart from him, but the sentiment felt cheap when the end result would be the same.

The phone ringing in her pocket put the matter aside. She stood again, reaching in her pocket to answer while she headed for her bag to find her ear buds. Without looking at the caller ID, she said, "Hello?"

"Taylor?" The voice was familiar, but she couldn't place it right away. Sliding her ear buds in, she transferred the call over before responding.

"Yes, who's this?"

"It's Gavin." A hesitation, and then, "Er, Detective Reed."

"Right, Gavin, of course. Sorry, it's been a weird morning." Taylor tucked the phone back into her pocket and crossed back toward the window. "What can I do for you?"

"This crap your android friends sent over," he began, still sounding uncertain. A frown came to her face, subconsciously, as she peered down at the busy city streets. "There must have been an android somewhere in that building. This isn't a lot of evidence to go on."

"It's more than nothing, right?" She tried not to let her nerves creep into her tone. She didn't want to lie outright to Gavin. He was only trying to help.

"So you do have it." Gavin was more astute than he led on. He wasn't a detective for nothing. Still, her brain was stringing together every curse word she knew instead of coming up with a believable lie to distract him. "You realize you have to let me have it."

"I can't." The truth, instead. He cursed, verbalizing a few of the expletives she had just been reciting inside her mind. "Please try to understand."

"The judge decided to deny bail based on the nature of the charges." Gavin said after he was satisfied with the number of obscenities he'd discharged. She exhaled, releasing a breath she didn't even realize she had held. "Apparently he remembered your stepfather from their previous encounter fifteen years ago. Small judicial world in Detroit, it seems."

"That's crazy." She didn't know if she meant the judge, or the bail, or both. The unfamiliar ache in her chest had to be relief, or something like it. But she had never lived in a world where Anthony couldn't reach her somehow.

"You won't testify." The frustration rang clear in his voice. She was making this unduly difficult for him. He had every right to be angry, she figured. "You know that prick is going to have some hotshot, high dollar defense attorney. I need all I can get."

"I can't testify. Not again." Her eyes closed, blocking out the people moving about on the sidewalks below. "The first time was awful. Almost like living it all over again but with an audience."

"We'll give it back. After the trial." He was trying to reason with her. As her silence stretched on, he sighed. Sensing defeat, he said, "At least let me get a warrant and come search that place for more evidence. I promise I won't seize the android."

"Markus is looking for more evidence. He's the one who found what you've already got." Taylor hesitated, opening her eyes again. "I'll ask him if it's alright. It's all androids there, though. You'll have to be nice."

"Not sure why that's a requirement." She rolled her eyes. "What makes you think I can't be nice, anyway?"

"Not a great track record." She snorted at his noise of indignation but spoke again before he could vocalize a complaint. "I'll let you know what he says. I needed to talk to him anyways." She paused. "Thanks, Gavin."

"Right. Sure." He hung up abruptly. Taylor snickered under her breath while she pulled her phone back out and pulled up her contact for Markus. The ringing started in her ears and she tucked it away again, still contemplating Gavin's awkward kindness.

"Hello?" Markus's voice cut into her thoughts.

"Hey." She shifted on her feet, then took a seat on the windowsill. "So, couple things. I spoke with Secretary Headley this morning."

"How did it go?" He sounded curious, to his credit, though Markus had a smooth way of speaking that always made him sound clinically detached.

"Well, not bad. She interrogated me about whether you were planning on becoming a terrorist and taking over the country. Pretty normal stuff." She heard a huffing sound but couldn't tell if it was a laugh or just disbelief at her unfailing sarcasm. "Seriously, though, I did warn you that there was going to be questions."

"Questions such as?" The amusement laced in his tone let her know for sure that he was entertained with her. As per usual.

"Almost verbatim the ones I told you before. Are you going to convert all of the androids in the country, are you building an army, etc. Since you never actually told me what to say, I just had to wing it."

"I'm sure you did great. Are we free yet?" She sighed, and her eyes closed again despite herself.

"I know that was supposed to be funny." Her eyes opened, fixed on her lap. Fingers tapping on her knee. She frowned, tucked her hands between her knees. "I'm trying to laugh, give me a minute."

"I'm sorry. I was trying. I shouldn't have said it." She felt guilty for how apologetic he actually sounded. They sat there in their mutual guilt for a second before he continued, "What did you say to her?"

"What else could I say? I told her that you weren't doing any of those things. No idea if that's true, by the way." Taylor glanced over her shoulder. Connor was watching her now, his brown eyes intent, though he was still flipping the coin between his hands, rolling it over his knuckles.

"It's true." Markus had slid back into his neutral tone. "Frankly there is far too much to do with the people I have to be worried about building or converting more androids at the moment."

"I'll be sure to bring that up. That will ease their minds for sure." A smile touched her face at the sound of Markus's laugh. "I'm told that there will be hearings with Congress, starting tomorrow."

"I see. Well, I would wish you luck, but I don't think you'll need it." Her smile faded. "You wanted something else?"

"Oh. Yes." The conversation had distracted her enough that she had almost forgotten about Gavin. "I just got off the phone with Detective Reed. He received the information you sent over and he wanted to have a look around. For evidence."

"A friend of yours?" Markus asked after a brief pause. She almost laughed.

"Not exactly." She wavered. Was it wise, sending Gavin Reed into CyberLife? "He's helping me. He's in charge of the case against my stepfather, like Connor said. I told him that you were already looking, but he wants to search himself."

"It's fine with me. Just try to keep him from bringing the whole police force."

"Fair enough." She smiled again. "He's a little abrasive. Just so you know. Also doesn't like androids very much. I told him to be nice."

Markus laughed again. "Well that is a relief. I'll be on the lookout. Goodbye, Taylor."

The click on the line let her know that he had hung up. She pulled her phone out long enough to send Gavin a text message. When she turned around, Connor's gaze was still glued to her. As their eyes met, he caught the coin between his middle and index fingers, tucking it back into the pocket of his coat.

Before she could say anything, a knock echoed through the quiet. Her food. She stood and crossed the room to the door. This room was certainly larger than the hotel room in Detroit, but it wasn't exactly the bridal suite either. There was only one bed in it, but it offered android charging stations. She imagined that whoever booked this room for her though that's where Connor would be staying.

She brought her bag to the table, laid out the chicken and vegetables that she'd ordered, the utensils, the iced tea. As she finally took her seat at the table once more, she looked up into Connor's russet colored eyes.

"Are you angry with me?" Her fingers curled around the fork beside the tray. She dropped her eyes to the food, biting her lip, wondering what it was about his face that made her blurt out exactly what she was thinking.

"No. Why would you think I was angry?" She peered up at him through her lashes this time, unwilling to look into his face again. Instead, she made a show of pushing squash around, not taking a bite.

"Oh, you know. You haven't spoken to me since this morning." Her hand stilled over the chicken, knuckles turning white. She didn't think this would be so hard, or the thought of Connor upset with her so terrifying. Maybe because they were alone here, together, and she was terribly out of her depth. "What else am I supposed to think?"

"Why would I be angry?" He asked again, sounding genuinely puzzled. Taylor worked up the nerve to finally lift her head. Connor was giving her that confused expression she knew so well. She pursed her lips.

"I told you I couldn't stay in Detroit." He finally glanced away, his brow still knitted. Thinking, his LED circling yellow. When his countenance smoothed again, she couldn't tell what emotion he'd settled into. As usual.

"I believe I am still reconciling the idea. It's not happening now. There is still a lot to do before you leave." He looked up again, into her eyes, right through her. "Time to change your mind."

That smirk. She smiled, unbidden, completely caught off guard. Then a giggle escaped her. "You're impossible."

"If you're so resolved to leave, why are you so concerned?" He asked, tilting his head in that slight way of his. She couldn't tell if he was seriously asking or if he was teasing. Her smile faded.

"Most of my relationships don't make it past the first panic attack." She gritted her teeth around the half-truth. Connor raised his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not expecting such an answer, and she dropped her gaze to the table once more. "Sorry."

"For what?" He was still puzzled. Rightfully so. She tapped the tines of her fork against the bottom of the container, focusing on it, distracting herself.

"My therapist says I have a bad habit of using blunt honesty as a defense mechanism." She sighed, looking up into his brown eyes. His brows were furrowed now, but he didn't say anything. Listening. "It's where I say something that I don't mind sharing to avoid talking about what I'm really feeling."

"What are you really feeling?" Her heart started to flutter, her tongue thick in her mouth, throat dry. His earnest gaze didn't waver from her face, but his hand started to move toward hers across the table.

"I was afraid." She breathed. "From the beginning. Of how I was drawn to you. How everyone could see it. How much I love you even though I barely know you. I have only been with you for a matter of weeks but now I can't imagine how it will be being without you."

"So don't." He said it so casually. The easiest thing in the world. He had stilled as she had spoken, his hand just halfway across the table, but his eyes were boring straight through her. "You don't have to be afraid. Stay."

"That's the thing, Connor." Her lips twitched. "When you love someone, you give them the power to hurt you. And they don't always do it on purpose."

He continued to stare at her. Silent. Contemplative. Then his eyes dropped to her hand, still wrapped around the fork, tapping, and the open container of food.

"Your food is getting cold." She sighed but speared a cube of chicken onto her fork and popped it into her mouth. He was wrong, it was still incredibly hot. She reached for her drink while she breathed in and out of her mouth. Her clumsy fingers knocked into the glass instead, pitching it right over.

The lid came off, tea spilling across the table, splashing directly over Connor's right side. He reacted instantly, jumping from the chair, but his sleeve had already bore the brunt of the spill. The bite was still searing as she took the painful swallow, grabbing up the pile of napkins before they were drenched by the spreading puddle on the table.

"Shit! Sorry," Taylor stood, pawing at his sleeve with the napkins.

"It's okay." Connor gently pulled her fingers away and slid the jacket off in one swift motion. He placed the piece of clothing in her hands while he retreated to the bathroom to grab a towel. The napkins in her one hand were a crumpled, damp ball now, but the splash of tea hadn't soaked through to his white shirt.

She stared down at the wet coat in her other hand, frowning, pressing the driest side of the napkins to the wet spots. Connor came back with a towel and mopped up the mess "This will have to go to the cleaners. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's fine." He sat the towel aside and came closer to her. His fingers closed around her elbow. "Sit down. Eat." Her frown deepened, but she allowed him to guide her back to her seat, taking his jacket to place over the back of the other chair. "Would you like something new to drink?"

Her eyes fell back to the table. He had removed the tipped over cup so that only her food was left. She hadn't even gone to get ice for the room, there really wasn't anything else to drink but tap water. "Um, sure. Anything is fine."

The door clicked softly behind him. Picking up the fork again, she took a distracted bite of the squash. In the silence blanketing the room, Connor's puzzling persistence clicked in to place while she was putting the next bite on her tongue.

The last time she'd eaten was yesterday sometime. Before the cemetery, the panic attack. She hadn't had time to eat before they left Detroit. A little thing, only he would have noticed. She smiled around the tines of the fork still seated in her mouth.

It only took a few short minutes for Connor to return with a drink. That unfailing efficiency of his. He sat both a bottle of water and a soft drink beside her container of food before settling into the seat across from her again.

"Thanks." She opted for the water, feeling his gaze on her while she took a drink. Continued to eat. She endured it for several bites, with his head tilted, notch in between his eyebrows. The one expression she could identify, the trying to figure her out, like she was a human Rubik's cube and he was turning the panels to solve the combination.

"Please don't watch me eat." She speared a piece of chicken onto her fork and left it sitting there, hovering over the plate. Connor blinked. His face smoothed, eyebrows raised. "It makes me anxious."

He averted his attentions immediately, turning to retrieve his coin from the jacket he had draped over the chair. Even when he was duly occupied, absorbed again by his coin tricks, she found herself pushing the food around in the container more than eating it. She was too conscious of the quiet, of the fact that she was the only one eating, and still thinking of his non-answer from before.

Maybe he wasn't upset, but he hadn't accepted that she was going to leave. Forcing herself to keep eating, settling for frequent glances in his direction while she tried to glean what he was thinking.

"You were amazing." Taylor paused mid-chew. Connor didn't pause with his coin, but he was looking at her in his peripherals, trying to honor her request as best he could. "Today, with the Secretary."

She finished chewing and swallowed, feeling her cheeks warm. "Oh. Thanks."

"Did Markus tell you anything?"

"Nothing useful." She felt herself frowning, just slightly as she tried to stop it. "Gavin said that they denied Anthony's bail. He'll be in jail until the trial."

Connor did lift is head then, his brown eyes finding hers again. She'd laid her fork down anyway, abandoning the meal. "That's good."

He said it like a statement, but it read like a question. She nodded her assent. Her lips lifted in a half smile and she added, "Maybe this time it will mean something."