Datalog: Day 30
Just so ya know, the reason why I haven't been keeping up with journal is because I've a number of priorities which need my attention,
The man's pen stopped moving after his fingers curved it to the comma's tail, thinking twice about the things he should keep secret, which strengthened his will not to as he imagined the faces of the people he cared about, making him stare long and hard at the ground, trying to shake off the subject in his mind.
"No," He shook his head and he ripped the paper out of the navy composition notebook, tearing any surviving edges so the shrink wouldn't have any possible questions, "No one can know."
Feeling a bit edgy, the man felt as if some ghostly aura floating around him, but he couldn't shake it off. Being all alone in the house, he had all the time and peace in the world to do as he pleased in his own little space, but despite his claims to people about needing to be by himself, that was actually the time he felt weakest—when he was alone.
And as much as he was tired of carrying the burdens of keeping the countless secrets, he knew he couldn't open his mouth for the fear of being who he truly was…and what he was.
Get a hold of yourself, Ichigo, The man thought as he cleared his throat, feeling a throbbing pain in his sternum. You open your mouth and you're as good as dead.
However, his self-coaching didn't help him much as the sudden agony in his chest was starting to worsen, soon making it unable for him to stand straight up, forcing him to lie down.
In an attempt to relax his body, he dramatically slowed his breathing, inhaling through his nostril and out of his mouth, Still, the ache wouldn't go away, and all the man could do was hiss at the paroxysm that refused to cease. His eyeballs were screwed shut to endure the suffering, which had gotten so excruciating, he had to claw at the meat on his forearm to distract his mind and body from the internal anguish Ichigo had to abide.
One pang had hit him so sharply; it made his eyes flew wide open as a cry of throe was let out while a narrow stream of liquid poured out of the vessel of his arm, but now, his agony from both pains were taking their toll on him.
He looked to his left, almost as if searching for some beacon of hope, and saw the beryl pad lie across from him, and he clawed at the table as he tried to get it with one hand, as the other hand was digging into the flesh of the newly healed wound on his torso, staining his shirt with the deep azure liquid that seeped from his veins.
"Fuck," He hissed as he knocked over the glass of red wine that on the table while getting the notebook, but he didn't pay much attention to it; what was really on his mind right now was finding his therapist's number, who was his source for his painkillers.
Ichigo had flipped through the pages, relentlessly searching for the number in the sea of paper dressed with ink, and he stopped at the last entry he made, recalling the good and…not-so-good memories that came to mind. And in that brief moment of reminiscing, he felt a small fraction of his pain drift away, making it easier for the man to relax, even if only for a moment.
He hung his head back as he stared up at the ceiling with his auburn bangs bending backwards along with the rest of his short, unkempt mane as he closed his eyes, trying to recollect himself once more.
What the hell was that just now? I hadn't felt anything like that sinc-
Another hiss had snaked out of his mouth as he bit down on his lip, but his sharp canine punctured the plump flesh, letting out a tiny droplet leak out as he finally found the shrink's card that he had given him on their appointment not so long ago.
'Use this to keep a daily log of your thoughts and emotions and write this down at the end of each day. Come back by the end of the month so that I can assess it and tell you if there's anything really serious going on in your head. And here's my number,' The sleek, thin framed man said as he shook gave Ichigo the card while pushing up his rectangular glasses, 'And at the bottom, there's my cell phone number, but only call if it's a dire emergency, understood?'
"Sweet Jesus, I can't believe I'm doing this," The man grumbled as he sat up, feeling the immense pain bite him back in the abdomen as he got out his cell and punched in the number, and patiently waited for the rings to end.
"Hello?"
"Uh, yes, this is John Collins, your patient. I'm calling to see if you can make an in-home appointment."
"I'm sorry, but I don't offer those kinds of services, Mr. Collins."
"Please, can you make an exception?" Ichigo swallowed as the twinge started to act up again, making it seem as if the world was running out of oxygen.
"I'm afraid I can't do tha-"
"I'm begging you," The man wrapped a hand around his own throat and his fingernails began to dig into his flesh in an attempt to release himself from the pain, "I need drugs. Now. Diagnose me with something, anything; I just want this pain to stop."
"…Give me five minutes. Don't operate any machinery. Have you taken any drugs?"
"I'm out."
"Then don't. Drink some water and just lie down, you hear me?"
"Yeah," Ichigo mumbled as the phone line went dead and he set down the Blackberry, slightly excited that he would finally have a way to end his agony. But it was then that he realized that his true ecstasy would show at the sight of the deep-cerulean blood trickling from his wounds.
The scent of the euphoric liquid slowly wafted over to his nostrils, his keen sense of smell intensifying it tenfold, making the adrenaline in his veins pump through out his entire body, and he couldn't get enough of the smell.
In fact, it pleased him so much, it made him lick the corners of his mouth, grabbing each and every drop that had escaped from the tiny puncture in his bottom lip, and soon, he began to crave for more. His eyes caught sight of the forearm entirely covered in the navy liquid, and he let out a subtle groan of gratification as he brought the limb towards his mouth and sucked on the substance and in a single blink, his eyes flashed a prominent gold with black scleras behind it as he began to lose himself in his own drug.
Ichigo exhaled a deep breath as he saw the meat licked clean until there wasn't a trace, since the cobalt fluid had already started to alter to the normal crimson that he loathed, and soon, he turned to the other forearm for a source of said 'drug'.
Instinctively, his canines elongated to fangs and as he licked the surface before biting into the flesh and sucking it clean of its blood, the doorbell chimed suddenly, making his eyes turn back into that normal russet and his fangs had as his crave disappeared in an instant.
"Just a sec!" He hollered as he quickly ran to the bathroom to find some gauze to cover up the wounds, and within a matter of seconds, he had dressed the gashes on his arm and torso and quickly changed shirts before throwing the old one to the side before heading for the door and greeting his therapist.
"Good evening, Mr. Ishida. Won't you come in?" Ichigo asked smoothly as the corners of his mouth spread out into a classy grin, scoring a good impression with the shrink thus far.
"Thank you, , and you have a lovely abode, if I do say so myself."
"Thanks. Won't you take a seat?" The ginger politely asked, putting up a 'clean and proper' façade so that he wouldn't have any suspicions about the man.
"I think I will. Now, let's get to business," He muttered as he pulled out a small notebook out of his bag before swinging a leg over his knee and clicking his pen, "So tell me, what's up? Any unusual pains?"
"I have been having severe chest pains, headaches, dry mouth-ness, uhm, moist hands, and come to think of it, I haven't been getting a good amount of sleep."
"What about your mood? Are you tense, jubilant, depressed?"
"Hmmm, at times. I'm usually calm, but I do have to admit, I have been a bit stressed out more than usual recently. And my temper has been flaring up a lot."
"Really?" Mr. Ishida raised an eyebrow, "Do tell."
And as the man went on about his troubles, the frame-wearing therapist had became so intrigued in the drama, that he was paying more attention to him rather than his job, but he quickly regained focus as Ichigo was starting to wrap things up. Unfortunately, Ishida had grave news to tell the man, but he wasn't so sure he was ready to yet.
"John, I'm going to tell you right now, I think I might have a lead on what exactly is 'wrong' with you, but I'll have to ask you a couple of more questions just to confirm my hypothesis. Is that okay?"
"Sure, of course," Ichigo nodded as he swallowed his anxiety, while having to endure the subtle, but still throbbing ache of his chest.
"Have there been times in your life where, like, you can't remember anything about what had happened for an amount of time?"
"Uh, I assume this would exclude being under the influence?"
"Yes."
"…Sometimes, yeah."
"How often, say monthly, do you think these memory lapses occur?"
"I don't really have a solid answer for that one. It depends on a lotta things, I guess. Some have more than others. But I'd say one to three on average. Five max."
"And how long do you think these periods last?"
"Uh, I think my shortest was two days, my longest being…I think a month? Maybe two? I dunno if this is important or not, but there have been times in my life where like, there would be some kinda object, or sometimes, when I look at my handwriting, it looks completely different than how I usually write. It's so weird, it's like I'm watching a movie of my life and someone else is taking the wheel, not me."
"John," The man said, placing a hand on the ginger's shoulder, "You might want to smoke a cigarette or something for the news I'm about to tell you."
Those words alone made the Strawberry anxious and his aches started to act up again, making matters worse.
"This is not engraved in stone or anything, but judging from what you've told me, you may have DID."
"...What?" Ichigo blinked twice, feeling as if he had heard something in a foreign language.
"DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder, is a mental diagnosis in which a person may have multiple personas inside of them and acts as if it's a being on all its own, so it does have the urge to take control of the body. So, that is more than likely the cause of your time lapses, periods of unconsciousness, and trauma."
"Oh God," Ichigo shuddered as he put both hands in his hair, trying to grasp what was being said to him.
"Now, now, it's nothing to be ashamed about, I would just imagine it'd be confusing and a hassle-"
"A hassle?" The man hissed, "For all I know, I could've 'unconsciously' murdered someone! Oh sweet Jesus," He chanted.
"And that's why I," Dr. Ishida said as he got out a mysterious box, "Am going to prescribe you some medication in order to lessen your pain. You take one a day, got it?"
"Uh-huh," Strawberry nodded.
"And in the event you experience any…unusual side-effects, take another one immediately."
"What kinda twisted logic is that? Fighting fire with fire will only make a giant flame that'll burn down the entire forest."
"They'll cancel each other out and-"
"No, that'll just worsen things."
"Okay, well, once you find a better solution, let me know," The shrink said as he got his stuff ready and put on his coat, but right as he was about to step out the door, a rough hand gripped his elbow, nearly crushing the joint with its power.
"Solution for what, exactly?" The auburn-haired male said through clenched teeth, watching the pair of rectangles curve towards his line of sight, making him look even more suspicious than he already was.
The shrink chuckled smugly, making Strawberry's grip on him tighten until his hold on him broke the pale man's elbow, making the crack that slipped from it echo throughout the barren household, and the upset ginger shook him off, seeing the broken arm hang loosely as he tried to avoid the disgusting sight of the cracked bone sticking out of place.
"You should know very well about the consequences of using your supernatural powers on a human, don't you?" Ishida smirked, making Ichigo let out a growl and then rushed over and slammed his body up against a wall while holding him up in the air by a hand on his throat.
"You're not a regular human if you know what I am then."
"Correct; I am actually a bounty hunter for all things alien and supernatural. Including you, vampire."
"…What?"
Before he knew it, Ichigo had a silver pistol cocked beneath his throat, not believing was what happening.
"Now tell me where's the rest of your nest is before I end your pitiful life, bloodsucker."
A snicker escaped from Ichigo's teeth, causing a raised eyebrow to form on the indigo-haired man's face.
"Why are you laughing? Is this some kind of form of insanity you mentioned earlier from your disorder?"
That final word made the male's mirth end immediately, making all of the muscles in his body tighten up.
"For starters, you need to brush up on your 'Supernatural Creatures for Dummies', because Iam most definitely not a vampire."
"B-But you-"
"Oh, and ya mind taking your gun off my neck? It's making me mighty uncomfortable."
"…Fine," The indigo-haired man took the weapon off of Ichigo's skin, but he still had a firm grip on the cold metal, "However, you have fangs. I saw them as you talked-"
"But that doesn't mean I'm a vampire. These right hurr," Ichigo motioned with his finger inside his mouth, pointing to the teeth that changed to fangs in an instant, "Are my 'stabilizers', if you will."
"And what about sunlight?"
The ginger groaned as he walked towards the drapes, quickly pulling them apart and let the light of noon illuminate the room as Ichigo shot an indifferent look towards the 'bounty hunter'.
"Do you see my ass sparkling?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.
"No…"
"What about burning? Do you see any smoke?" He asked sarcastically, turning around to try to look at his butt.
"No-"
"So I am most definitely not a vampire. I actually find it a tad offensive that you would call me something as…animalistic as that. I think I at least have more pedigree than that," Ichigo flashed a grin as his shadow formed into moving swirls, but fortunately, they hid in the silhouette of the doorway, so the man couldn't tell them they were right below him.
"So, if you're not a vampire…than just what the hell are you?"
"You know, they're more than just vampires out there, kid. Be careful who you're talking to."
And right then, the man fell unconscious as swirls of ebony outlines with crimson lessened away from his body, leaving it in a comatose state.
"Sorry bud, can't have ya knowing too much about me. Besides," Ichigo muttered as he picked up the box of pills, analyzing it closely, I don't know whatcha got here. But it wouldn't hurt to try it.
"You sure you wanna try that, pardner?"
"I knew you had to pop in sometime today. I just knew it. I was actually surprised you didn't take control and kill that man on the spot when he figured out something was up."
"I just wanted to see how you'd handle it. Gotta say, it was quite entertaining, buddy boy."
"Hmm, it's unlike you to just stand by and watch."
"S'cuse me for being tired 'cause you stay up 'til fuckin' two in the morning," The cranky voice in Ichigo's mind groaned.
"Well," Ichigo sighed as he looked over at the unconscious body, "What are we gonna do about this?"
"We? You must be out your goddamned mind. Your way of getting things done and my way of getting things done are completely different. If I had control, I would've killed that sonuvabitch the second he pulled that gun out. And then I would've-"
"It doesn't matter now, he's knocked out for a good couple of hours and when he wakes up, he won't remember a single thing that happened," Ichigo sighed as he scratched the back of his head, trying to shake off his distress.
"But lemme guess, you and your punk ass self are nearly shittin' themselves because you have 'guilt weighing down on your conscience' 'cause you ain't tellin' that skinny bitch that you're a-"
"Hush," The ginger hissed.
"You're a freak, Ichigo, and you know it. No way they'll think of you as the same again," The nasty voice hissed in his head, making his blood boil.
"God, shut up already," The male grumbled as he tried to find a distraction and glanced at the clock, reading '2:12 A.M.' letting out a sigh as rubbed his temples his callous fingertips, realizing that it was going to be yet, another long, restless night.
"God, you're pitiful."
"God, you're annoying," Ichigo mimicked as he slouched over to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, letting the sound of running water echo throughout the life-barren household.
He took off his frames before cupping his hands with water, and ran his wet palms through his mane as he hung his head for a second, and then raised it, looking at his 'distorted' reflection, but he wasn't surprised. He knew the other side of him had yet to rest.
In the mirror, was him—but completely different. With skin as pale as ivory and with the eyes that instantly sent chills down your spine, of course Ichigo wasn't in the least bit happy to see him, of all people.
"Well, I guess it's been a long time since we met face-to-face, right?"
"You've been bothering me a whole lot today. What's your deal?" Ichigo cocked an eyebrow, uninterested.
"Tch, who pissed in your cornflakes?"
"You're awfully social today. Why?"
"No reason. Just when you act shitty like this, it's that much easier for me to take control, so I'm just waiting 'til ya collapse," The ashen-haired male flashed a lecherous smile back at the man, making his shrug with repugnance.
"You're disgusting," Ichigo snarled.
"Likewise."
"Mhmm," The male nodded nonchalantly as he turned off the lights, while hearing the protests of the other voice inside of his head.
"You're such a dick, cutting me off like that!" It screeched.
"If I'm such a dick, then it shouldn't be that hard to swallow," Ichigo shrugged as he slipped out of his clothes before putting on some sweats while throwing his shirt to the pile of clothes on the floor, since the humidity of the house kept him warm enough that he wouldn't need a shirt.
After observing for a minute, he realized that the other part of him had ceased fire with his pointless comments and insults, making the man's mouth curl up into a slight smile, followed by a smug chuckle.
"Don't think you can get rid of me so easily, Ichigo," The eerie voice said as it faded away like sand blowing in the wind, which made the male slightly paranoid about any future attacks the monster could pull later, but he shrugged it off with a sigh.
"Don't worry, I'm still trying to figure that out," Ichigo mumbled as he picked up the notebook, staring at it for what seemed to be like an eternity at the mysterious shrink's number. He then turned to the unconscious body, which reminded him that he needed to 'put the toys back where they belong'.
Quickly, he fetched out his cell, punching in a couple of numbers and waited for the shrill rings to pass, getting more impatient by the second.
"Hello?" A rough, but soft-spoken male answered the phone.
"Ey, yo Pitbull," Ichigo grinned as he swung a leg over his knee, "I gotta favor to ask ya."
"And just what is this favor?"
"Well, let's just say that I'll be lookin' for a new shrink."
"…You killed somebody?"
"Now, now, when did you jump to that ridiculous conclusion? Nah, I just need you to drop off somebody-"
"Dead, alive, or unconscious?" The male on the other line interrupted.
"Unconscious; and he needs to stay that way until he gets dropped off."
"Where at?"
"Uh," The fiery-maned gent paused as he looked at the psychiatrist's card once again, "He lives at the Avery Complexes."
"Okay, but who's the guy?"
"Uryu Ishida, a therapist."
"Alrighty then, I'll swing by in half an hour…not that it's any of my business, but why do you have a psychologist at your house?"
"You really wanna know? Well, since you're doing me a favor and all, I guess a secret is nothing in these kind of terms, so I'll letcha in on it," Ichigo paused, waiting a moment to build up the suspense, "The only reason I had a shrink in my house was because I needed drugs. He said it might be something more than the drugs' effects and withdrawal and turns out, I am diagnosed with a disorder that has me living two separate lives."
The man on the other line busted out in laughter, nearly choking on the very air he was breathing on; and while he was having a jolly old laugh, Ichigo could only form a mock smile as he waited for the mirth to end.
"Whoo, that was a good laugh. Ahahaha, well, I'll come at 3-ish and-"
"Mmkay."
Click.
"Hardy-har-har," Ichigo sneered as he slouched back to the couch and lay back with hands over his head while gazing up at the ceiling.
Bored with nothing to do, he shut his eyes as he tried to unwind, but that uneasiness from before still wouldn't settle down. His body was halcyon, but his mind was not, making him even more anxious than he was before.
I've got to find a way to calm down before I wreck myself, Ichigo thought as he rolled over on one side of the couch and remained still for a couple of moment before his body soon started to lose consciousness and drift off to sleep and begin dreaming.
It began like any other dream-you couldn't remember how it started; only how it ended. But this dream…it'd be one he'd remember for the rest of his life.
Ichigo had found himself slumped against a slab of upright concrete and in some odd attire—ash army clothing with a grey helmet two sizes too big latched onto his fluff of orange.
"It's 'bout damn time you woke up, lazy ass."
The man turned to his right, seeing an azure-haired officer kneeling with a sniper in hand as he squinted his eyes and let out a chuckle full of glee as he pulled the trigger, and the sound of the shot was definitely a wake-up call for the Strawberry.
"What the hell are you doing?" He exclaimed with disbelief.
"…Shooting peoples. Where the hell have you been, Ichigo? Take a look around you; it's kill or be killed," The man mumbled as he ducked behind the building's edges and reloaded while the other male realized where he was.
He was in the middle of a war zone, with burning buildings and gory corpses galore. His eyes noticed that the two were in the middle of a building that had collapsed in half, but the remaining chunks of the walls served as shelter. But what had shocked Ichigo was not how bloody the sun was that evening, or how much strife was between the two opposing sides, but the fact that the city he was born and raised in, the only place he's ever truly loved and admired, was crumbling away right before his eyes. And it was then that he recognized the shoddy, yet pleasant apartments he spent his childhood in, and almost instantly, he was pulled to it; almost as if there was some kind of invisible magnetic force behind it.
This can't be…
It wasn't long before his friend realized that he was about to walk out in the open road, which was a death wish. Grimmjow quickly dropped his gun and dashed towards the guy and pulled him back by the collar, nearly choking him as the both fell backwards, and as a result of their noise, the fire of gunshots went off, paralyzing Ichigo with fear.
"Fuckin' dumbass, have you lost your goddamned mind! There is a sea of bloodthirsty humans out there wanting to kill each and every one of your kind off! Do you want to die early?" The tan-skinned male panted.
"Grimmjow…where are we?"
"Whaddaya mean 'where are we'? Don't you recognize it?"
"I can't recognize a thing when almost everything is burned to the ground," The auburn-haired male said solemnly.
"You…seriously can't remember?"
"Just tell me where we are, goddamit!" Ichigo seethed with rage, meeting the somber sky blue irises of the other man, who then slowly closed his eyes.
"It's your home …Bosnia."
"…Oh God," The Strawberry covered his mouth as he felt the sensation of throwing up climb up his throat.
"Are for real? You can't remember anything?"
"What do you mean?"
"You…you don't remember what happened back in '10? Aizen's betrayal? The government declaring a state of emergency once they found out that you all were 'inhuman'? You can't remember a lick of it?"
"W-What? Where is everybody?" Ichigo asked as he tried to process this in his mind, but his confusion refused to let it settle in.
"Well, we're all scattered, so I dunno who you mean specifically."
"Aizen. Shinji. Nel…Orihime…and Rukia."
"Shinji has some personal grudges to settle with Aizen, so he's trackin him down. Nel's trying to mediate with the government officials, but ever since that bastard backstabbed us, we've been fighting like this for ages. And it's all because of Aizen."
"And Orihime and Rukia?"
"Orihime was the main cause of our downfall because she's a spy for Aizen. Look, man, I'm sorry, I know she was your-"
"Save it," Ichigo held up a hand as he shook his hand, "Me and her are done; we had our times and what we had in the past will stay there because I refuse to linger on it any longer."
"Right."
"And Rukia?" The orange-maned male chimed, getting yet, another dismal look from his friend, which only made him more upset.
"Tell me before I start getting mad, Grimmjow."
"…Why can't you remember?"
"S'cuse me?"
"Why…can't you remember anything that has happened? Why can't you remember the betrayal that tore all of us apart or the start of the war or even what you did? How could you not remember murdering someone, for Crissakes?"
"Tell me who!" Ichigo yelled as he stood up and shook his shoulders. "Who did I kill?"
And right then, it was as if a Matrix moment had flashed by the man's eyes; to see the splatter of blood gush out of one side from the auburn-haired man's head as his body slammed into the cement floor lifelessly made the azure-maned man gasp with shock.
All Grimmjow could do was call his friend's name over and over again, but his false hope was quickly crushed as soon, his entire body was soaked with the deep, crimson liquid. In a spastic frenzy, the man did everything he could to try to save his friend, but his face remained as is—with eyes wide open and a gaping mouth. Soon, Ichigo's sense of both hearing and sight began to gradually fade away as he continued to watch the other man yell over the walkie-talkie, Ichigo had no clue what he was saying.
While his life flashed behind his eyes, the man wondered this was truly the end of him; if he would ever live to see another sunrise ever again; if he would ever see his friends again; or even if he would live to see the end of the war. But he knew none of these would be a possibility as he closed his eyes for the last time, with Grimmjow refusing to accept the death of his comrade and best friend.
"ICHIGO!"
"Am I dead? What's this warm light?" The man thought to himself as he floated in the nothingness, trying to figure out where on Earth he was. He slowly cracked open an eye, seeing an entire flood of crème surround every square inch around him, but for some strange, inexplicable reason, he felt at ease. It was if all of his woes and troubles had suddenly…disappeared. There was no more pain in his heart and it no longer hurt to breathe. Surprised by this discovery, he sat straight up and put a hand on his heart, feeling and hearing a steady beat pump through his veins.
"Well, good morning, sleepyhead!" The face of a raven-haired girl chimed as it stared below at him, making him jump out of skin by the surprise; but once he had a moment, he smiled back at the girl, who was surprisingly cheery at the moment.
"Stupid, why are you on the floor?" She giggled as she offered the ginger a hand, in which he took.
"Let's just say my memory isn't that too good of an asset to rely on as of late," He mumbled as he intuitively embraced the girl, basking in the warm, gentle aura she gave off; and at the same time, relishing the petite, fragile body that made her look so frail in comparison to Ichigo's overpowering, husk body that nearly caused the girl to fall over.
"So, how on Earth are you here?" He asked as he got some space, taking in the sight of the female while still having a firm grip around her hips, and for once, the man actually let out a pure, genuine smile out of sheer happiness.
But all of that would vanish right before his eyes.
"You still haven't answered my question, ya know," He chimed.
The girl looked at him curiously with wide eyes. "Hmmm?"
"Why are you here? Wait, where are we in the first place?"
"Stop asking so many questions," Rukia said in almost growl, shocking the man that she had changed her moods like that. "Just…enjoy the peace while you can—it's not going to last for long."
Ichigo blinked a couple of times to be sure he heard her right. He placed both hands on her, and looked her in the eyes, sensing that something wasn't right about her. He placed a hand on her sternum and the other on her shoulder.
"Rukia, what do you mean by that?"
"Ya should've listened to her, Ichigo."
A pool of crimson flashed before the man's eyes as it splattered all over his face, but the pain and agony of the horrifying sight on front of him was much more horrendous.
His eyes saw his elongated ebony claws sticking out of the girl's flesh as a trickle of blood ran from the corner of her mouth and saw droplets of the crimson liquid fall from his edges of his talons.
Slowly and carefully, he pulled his hand out of her, making the woman gasp as she lifelessly fell towards Ichigo, who caught her in his arms. His bloody, indigo-hued nails retracted back into his normal human hands, but that still didn't change the fact that he stabbed Rukia.
"W-Why…would you do such a thing…Ichigo?"
"I-I'm sorry, I don't know how it hap…wait, what did you call me?"
"That's right; you've been lying to me this whole time, haven't you? She croaked as she spat out more blood with some it landing on his face and clothes. "'John Collins' my ass…and…you're not human either. You're a-"
Right before his eyes, the body of the bleeding female had transformed into a group of small, illuminating orbs of light that danced in the air and soon, floated away until the man could no longer see them.
Struck with grief and shock, he fell to his knees with his mouth gaping in disbelief. He couldn't fathom what had happened or even why it was happening. All he knew was that he suddenly and subconsciously killed an innocent being, and one of special importance to him at that. He didn't even know why or how he did it, but he couldn't get the fact that he was the girl's murderer.
"NO, DAMMIT!" He yelled out. "No, no, no, no, no! This is NOT happening!"
"Oh, but it is, pardner," The devious voice chuckled, and soon, a swirl of white was in front of Ichigo's eyes, which transformed into the devilish being that the man had despised so much. It walked towards the ginger and crouched down, tilting his head to the side in a mixture of curiosity and pity. "Do you know how much you piss me off? And just when I thought you had grown some balls, you act like a complete pussy and break down like a castle a' cards. So, you killed a girl. So what? You did far worse. Don't see why you stopped doing that stuff, tho."
"No, you're wrong," Ichigo shook his head as he stood up. "I didn't kill Rukia…you did."
"Aight, I admit it," The pallid being held up his hands with a giant, lecherous grin, "But while I'm here, let me tell ya something, ya little shit," He hissed as he pinned Ichigo down on the floor, and it was then that the ginger realized that his enemy had drew out his claws, which were holding down the man's wrists. He got a good whiff of the Strawberry's scents, and instinctively, his fangs protracted in excitement, which were mere inches away from his face, but Ichigo bared his own fangs in caution to the monster on top of him.
"Get. Off," He hissed, but the behemoth countered with a more powerful feral snarl that made the man shut up and back off.
"The fuck you think you are, baring your fangs at me? I am the motherfucker who gave you those fucking fangs so you better damn well retract 'em. And the next time you try to flex to me, I'll rip those goddamned teeth out with my own fucking hands, you fucking piece of shit, do you understand?"
"Whatever," Ichigo mumbled, but he felt a thousand hells sting into his wrists, letting out a guttural cry of agony.
"Retract…your fangs."
Instantly, the man did as he was told, and the pain immediately ceased, but those damned golden irises he hated so much were still staring back at him, but this time, with a mixture of emotions that he couldn't quite make out.
"What?" Ichigo asked.
"I actually thought about ripping your eyes out, because I loathe the look you give me each time. It's pathetic, it's disgusting, it pisses the fuck outta me. But, at the same time," The being began, but then paused as he began to think some things over. "Nevermind, it's not important. But, you've learned your lesson, so I guess you've suffered enough. And…the fuck is that?" He growled as he looked above him, making Ichigo do the same and they saw a strange, light green aura hover above them, but instead of making a grouchy complaint and swear like a sailor, like Ichigo thought he would, the monster nodded, almost as if in acknowledgment, and then looked down at the man.
"Nel's waiting for ya," The ashen fiend almost said nonchalantly.
"I find that funny how you don't badmouth her like every other living being I meet."
"She just doesn't irritate me, even though she's a Heaven Sent. But enough of that, I'm running on borrowed time here," The beast shrugged.
"Okay, but you mind gettin' off my dick?" Ichigo asked impatiently.
"Nah, considerin' how much you hate it. Besides, I'll only torture for a little bit, so just endure it. Now, listen t' me, 'cause I'm too lazy to repeat myself: You killing yer midget was only an illusion, as you should've figured. Think of it as my way of saying, 'Warning: if you tell her, you're fucked'. And if she finds out whatcha are, there's no way in hell she'll take it calmly. You better take my advice, considering I'm what, 1000 years older than you? I've handled this shit. You haven't. You do the math."
"But hiding it-"
"Hey, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. That's all I gotta say about it. Oh, and I got somethin' to ask ya."
"Okay?"
The monster craned his neck down to Ichigo's ear and whispered, "How come you haven't fed in days? I'm starving. Actually," He chuckled as he made his way down to the neck, licking the flesh with his indigo tongue vigorously. "I think I might have a sample of you, Ichigo."
In an instant, the pallid being's ivory fangs dropped down and with a hungry growl, he latched himself onto Ichigo's neck, making him experience the true meaning of pain and pleasure coexisting, but he found that all to be one, big illusion—just like his other self had told him.
"It's about time you done woke up," An ivy-haired woman nodded as she continued to radiate a sea green aura from her hands, which floated around the man's body. He looked down at his own chest, seeing the olive orbs land on his wounds and repair the tissue the instant they landed on the flesh and within moments, his muscles worked just as well as they did before.
"The hell did you get yourself in, boy?" The woman shook her head as she gave a small glare towards the Strawberry, who only let out a sigh, since he didn't quite know himself.
"Nel, don't take this the wrong way, but," He mumbled as he sat up, seeing the spheres slowly fade away, indicating that he was fully healed. "Why are you here?"
"I couldn't sleep," She shrugged.
"That's your excuse?" Ichigo cocked an eyebrow.
"I wasn't finished," Nel said. "I was stressed out about a lot of things, so I went to go meet with one of my close friends, who is an aeon, to talk it out. But on my way there, there was this immense, dark atmosphere that was full of so much disdain and anger, it…it nearly suffocated me! So, I tracked down the source of said bad energy and I was shocked to find that it was coming from you."
"Me?" Ichigo blinked.
"Yup. I was surprised too. But then, when I did my thing and heal ya up, I found out that it wasn't actually you, but…"
"I know," He sighed, placing a hand on his heart. "The thing inside of me."
"Yeah. But what really made me shiver was how much blood there was all over your couch and I nearly threw up," Nel mumbled as she swallowed a gulp of anxiety.
"Oh. OH! Your fear of blood! Damn, I'm awful sorry about that," Ichigo apologized sheepishly, scratching the back of his head nervously.
"It's fine; I told my fear to shut up. I had to suck it up to save my friend and I did, thank God."
"Nel, you have no idea how grateful I am to you. I mean, I've always been grateful to you, for saving my ass back in South Carolina, but-"
"Hush, child," She chuckled as she ruffled Ichigo's hair. "You're like my brother. We're family—we gotta look out for each other. Now," The woman began as she sat on the couch next to the man, looking him dead in the eye. "Tell me what happened."
"I...don't even know," Ichigo laughed in disbelief, making a slight frown settle on the woman's face. "It was just so fucked up…I'm starting to think I need to be restrained in an asylum or something."
"Just start from the beginning and whatever it is-"
"They started happening again," The male blurted out on an impulse. "The dreams."
"How bad was it?"
"Well, for the first one,-"
"Wait a minute, you had more than one?" Nel queried, getting a single nod from the ginger, making her hands tremble slightly.
The man began his tales of his chimeras, trying to have a strong grip on his emotions as he did so, but even at certain points of the story, he felt pangs stab him like a knife.
"Ichigo…" Nel muttered as she pulled the man towards her as he rested his head on her shoulder.
"I actually felt human again. It was as if I didn't have a shitty past haunting my each and every move; or as if I didn't have this huge weight on my shoulders because I have to hide who I truly am and be John Collins, the human sociopath whose whole life is a lie. I was free of all pain and suffering…it was all going so well…but that all changed when I…when I…I killed Rukia. And the fucked up part about it is that I don't even know why or when I did it. All I saw were my claws longer than they had ever been. Like I was a fucking monster or something. But then again, I guess I am, considering what I am," He chuckled.
"No, honey, you're far from that," She soothed him as she ran her hands through his spiky fiery mane. "You have a heart. You care about those around you, and you would lay down your life to protect the ones you love. Monsters don't. And you're not alone. You have an entire family of people who love you and we don't care if you're human or not. Look at me, I was shunned by my own kind, and yet, I manage to smile everyday. And you know why? It's because I found a new, better family to care for me. And if you were any different, then I don't think you meeting any of us…would've ever happened….except one person, however."
Ichigo looked up with curiosity, not sure what she meant. "Who?"
"Don't play dumb," Nel raised a thin, plucked line of ivy. "That girl of yours you have a thing for."
"But…why her?"
"You're gonna think I'm crazy, but, I think I sense something 'pure' about her. Like, inside—her soul. Fate hints to me that y'all were destined to meet."
"Tch, I don't buy any of that. Sorry, but I don't."
"They say angels can't tell a lie," Nel teased.
"Doesn't mean they have to tell the whole truth. But Nel," He said, changing the subject. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Well, first things first, we need to be sure that you inner 'self' doesn't get off the leash, so I'll cast a spell, just in case," She uttered a couple of chants before touching the top, bottom, left and right of Ichigo's face, causing a bright blue mana to emit from her fingertips; and it gradually made its descent down to Ichigo's heart, seeping through the very flesh until it was actually inside of him, making him involuntarily grunt.
"There, that should do the trick; but Ichigo, remember that like everything else out there, it'll weaken with time. I can't guarantee that your…other self will be restrained for long. If anything, I'd say maybe 2 months. Three tops. Anger will only weaken the barrier, so if you know you're gonna get upset or stressed out, just leave the scene."
"Thanks a lot, Nel," Ichigo nodded as he licked his dry lips, pondering to himself on what his inverse had said to him.
"You're a freak, Ichigo, and you know it. No way they'll think of you as the same again."
Yeah, tell me about it.
"Hey, Nel?" The ginger said as he popped his knuckles.
"Hmm?"
"Do you think those dreams I had…mean anything?"
"In my honest opinion, I think that 'thing' inside of you is trying to tell you something they couldn't regularly say. I mean, I know you're half human and all, but don't you think it has feelings too?"
"HA!"
"I'm serious! It shares the same body as you, so naturally it would have some emotions."
"The only emotions he has is a thirst for blood, and a hunger for sex. But come to think of it, now that we're talking about emotions and all that jazz, I forgot I had something else to tell you. Okay, so you see these right here?" The man asked as he held up the box of pills the (now unconscious) shrink had given him. "This is my cover for 'John'. My story is that John has DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and considering my situation, I think it fits right into place. With the split personalities and memory lapses, it fits like a perfect key."
"Wait, hold on a minute," Nel shook her head. "So, you're telling me that you're making a cover-"
"In case my beast gets outta control, yes. I can't just make everybody who saw it take over forget about it. I can only knock 'em out every so often, and all that's coming from him. I got lucky tonight, since I had to do that with Mr. Shrink over there," He pointed to the unmoving body behind the door, which Nel had just realized 'til now.
"A-Are you crazy? That's an actual human! It has needs and uh, it's easy to break! This ain't a plaything, you know…more like a rag doll, by the look of this fella's arms," She commented as she lifted the lanky limb. "But you forgot that humans are fragile! They're…sensitive."
"Yeah, I would now, considering I am one."
"Well, you're…enhanced, so that doesn't count! His bones could break like a twig!"
"Oh, shit, I forgot about his arm," He groaned. "I kinda…broke it."
"Ichigo, I swear, you owe me big," Nel pointed a finger in his face as she got up and situated the body before kneeling down beside of it and tending to his arm.
"But Nel, I gotta 'nother question."
"What?" She asked as her magick started to flow, illuminating the tiny space with miniscule jade looking fireflies.
"What am I gonna do about Rukia? I can't keep hiding this secret forever, ya know."
"Speaking of which, where is the girl? I haven't seen her in weeks!"
"I asked Byakuya to keep her at his dojo until things get cleaned up after that murder at King's ceremony or whatever. But like, I seriously can't think of any way to break it to-"
"I GOT IT!" Nel exclaimed with glee, feeling so proud of herself for thinking of such a genius plan. "She doesn't have to know about it all at once!"
"What do you mean?"
"What if I revealed that I wasn't human? That way, she'd kinda get used to the idea of there being different species about."
"But what if she doesn't take it well? What if she-"
"Ichigo!" She gasped, along with the small orbs, (who Ichigo was starting to think were actual beings) all turned a slight blue. "I am shocked and appalled that you'd even think she'd betray us like that! She's already keeping the whole TR deal hush-hush, so why not this?"
"Uhm, let's see, maybe because she's piss her pants finding out that creatures with horns, fire, and who knows what else are running around."
"I mean, yeah, any normal person would flip out, but she'd calm down…eventually. Listen, Ichi," Nel said. "I'm prolly the best person for her to talk to at this point. My revelation would soothe her, considering I'm 'holy' or whatever. She'd understand, believe me."
"But-"
"Stop worrying, everything will sort itself out," The woman nodded as she finished healing up the therapist.
"I…just hope I won't be too late."
"I believe in you. You'll know what to do when the time is right."
"Okay, but can you promise me one thing?"
"Sure, what is it?" She asked with interest.
"In case of a situation…that I utterly and completely go insane and lose myself…I need you to promise me you'll protect her and hide her somewhere safe until the storm's over. I need to know that she'll be safe, when I'm not there to protect her…or if my monster gains control of me. Can you be," Ichigo paused, unsure of how his long-time friend would take his request. "Rukia's guardian angel?"
A/N: Ah, kinda short one for this chapter, but don't fret; There's plenty more secrets, drama, and blood on the way:D And before someone nags to me, NO. Ichigo is NOT a vampire. (Hence the small Twilight pun I put in there). BUT, I'll make you darlings a little offer: The first one to (comment in a review) guess what Ichigo is will get an exclusive insider from me concerning the next...hmmm..2-3ish chapters? I have a huge mouth and tell a lot more than I should, so, if you wanna know, REVIEW. (and you actually have to say something about to the story too. Those that don't won't be counted, even if you are right). And if I left some stupid-ass mistakes on here, it's because I'm far too lazy to read over and edit 21 pages of this. Like, seriously. But if it's like, something major, then you better tell me. Thank you, Hese Solistisfor correcting my big boo-boo on the last one. Oh, and on one final note, some more good news: for my TNB (another Bleach fanfic) readers: yes, I'm starting back up that old dinosaur. And it's gonna go off with a bang! Stay tuned!