Hello everyone, hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know your thoughts below.
Three weeks later.
In the three weeks since Fitz saw the tapes, he might as well had been in another country because he completely avoided Olivia. He left before she woke up and waited until late in the night before he came back to the residence. Most nights when he came, she was already sleep, tired from working at the lab all day, but tonight, she was sitting on the couch, working on her laptop.
She looked up at him and waited for him to say something, for a moment it looked like he was but then shrugged inwardly and headed to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
Olivia was at her peak with Fitz's odd behavior for the past few weeks. He never spoke more than 10 words to her in one setting before he scurried off somewhere. He didn't look her directly in the eyes, he didn't touch her, not to mention they hadn't had sex at all. After a week, she spoke with Savannah about his strange behavior, in return Savannah told her to speak with him the only problem was that he wasn't speaking, the only thing he did was make it clear that he didn't want her to leave and so she stayed at the residence with him. She hadn't slept at her apartment for over a month.
She rationalized, he said he was busy and for a few days that worked, but nothing in the news suggested anything out of the ordinary that would keep him occupied in the oval for 20 hours of the day. She knew things happened behind the scenes but even that didn't make any sense to her because anything that was big enough to warrant that much attention from the president would have come out already. The only real reason she could come up with for the explanation to his behavior was her.
She waited patiently for him to come out of the bathroom. She got the sense he was lingering because he wanted her to fall asleep by the time he came out. After an hour, she gave up and rested her laptop and notes on the coffee table in front of the couch and went over to the bed. She was exhausted and it was almost 1am, she couldn't wait much longer.
As she laid in bed and turned on her side to get in a comfortable position to sleep, she heard the door open. She had her back turned to him so she knew he couldn't tell whether he was sleeping or not. He walked into the closet and threw in a shirt and pajama bottoms and then a few minutes later he laid in bed beside her.
She turned around and sat up and faced him.
"Fitz, what's going on?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've been ignoring me."
"I'm not ignoring you, I've just been busy."
"For three weeks now?"
Fitz laid still, he didn't reply.
"Is it me? Are you having second thoughts about the engagement?"
He finally looked at her, shocked that she would draw that conclusion.
"What? No. Why would you think that? I'd never regret that."
"I don't know," she said softly, "I couldn't come up with anything else, you've barely spoken to me, much less touched me in the past three weeks and it's really bothering me."
He caressed her cheek softly with the back of his fingers, still avoiding her eyes.
"Is that better?"
"A little bit," she said with a smile, "maybe... a kiss."
Fitz leaned in and kissed her softly in the lips. Off the bat, she could tell it was different from how he normally kissed her, it wasn't lusty or hungry, there was affection behind it, but it was gentle, it was almost like he felt she would break if he kissed her too hard.
"Baby, something is wrong, what's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Why aren't you looking at me?"
She held his face up to her so she could see him. When Fitz finally looked up, she frantically searched his eyes, hoping they would reveal whatever it was that was going on with him. She found silent panic and fear.
"You're afraid, what are you afraid of, what's going on?"
"Nothing."
"Is there anything you're not telling me," her eyes welled up with water at the realization that the only thing that could rattle Fitz was something truly nefarious, "did you find the tapes," she said shakily.
It had been such a long time since she thought about that chance of that coming out, Fitz had done a great job of making her forget.
"No," Fitz said quickly.
She sighed in relief and wiped her eyes.
He immediately regretted the lie but he saw how relieved she was that he couldn't take it back.
"I'm sorry, I'm such a drama queen," she said with a chuckle.
"Don't be sorry," Fitz said softly.
"I know your job is hard and you deal with a lot, I know I'm probably reading too much into everything but I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine, I promise."
Olivia sighed and nodded then leaned in and kissed him.
"Okay."
Fitz nodded and laid down once again. Olivia leaned over and rested her head in his chest, it was how she fell asleep faster. She had hoped to talk to him about a lot more but sensing it wasn't a great time, she let it go, it also wasn't a great time to have sex but she couldn't let that go, she wanted it. She laid debating how she could get him to have sex with her, it was crazy she even had to do that because Fitz was like a horny puppy on Viagra, he never not wanted to have sex. He was way too tense, she could feel it. She sat up and without hesitation and got on top of him, straddling him.
"Liv-"
"Shh," she said as she leaned down and kissed him. She pinned his arm down before he had the chance to resist. Fitz enjoyed the kiss for a moment until his mind flashed back to the video and he broke the kiss and pulled his arms from her grasp.
"Liv-"
She sat up, not understanding why he was being so...withholding. She could feel his erection between her legs so she knew he wanted it, she just didn't know why he was resisting.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm just- I'm tired."
Olivia groaned.
"What do you mean you're tired, I can feel your erection."
"Liv-"
"Uh-It's fine."
She got off and plopped down beside him. She sighed loudly, just so he knew she wasn't happy about his rejection. She couldn't sleep so she fidgeted, not caring it if was preventing Fitz from sleeping as well, it was her petty way of getting back at him. After 10 minutes went by, 10 minutes of convincing himself to build the guts to act on his urges, Fitz sat up and leaned over and kissed her.
"Finally," she said with a smile.
He kissed her again as she pulled his shirt over his head.
He tried to clear his mind and just focus on her, in the moment, and not worry about the tapes, or all the drama that was going on with Iran behind the scenes.
She pulled up her silk nightgown and pulled him in between her legs. He raised her up and pulled the delicate straps of her gown down her shoulders. He softly kissed her lips then chin and then down her neck and chest. He kissed in between her breasts and then gently squeezed them together before he sucked her nipples.
"Hmm," she moaned softly.
She ran her hands through his hair and settled them around his neck as he kissed down her stomach over the delicate silk material of her nightgown. She pulled up her dress further so he could take her panties off. Once he did, he threw them on the floor. He leaned up and proceeded to pull down his pajama bottoms, Olivia helped him because after three weeks of abstinence, she was more than eager.
Once he was freed, he laid in between her legs once again. He hesitated before entering her and for the life of her she couldn't figure out why. He looked at her momentarily before he guided himself inside her and in that moment, she had a gut feeling that he knew about the tapes. He leaned down and kissed her as he slowly and gently thrusted into her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to convince herself that she was mistaken because she knew him and he would have told her.
She moaned when she felt him grind in a slow, circular motion. The one thing he succeeded in doing in that moment was to take her mind off of what could be and solely focus her attention on him. He rested his forehead against hers, moving slowly, sensually; gingerly running his hands over her body but he lingered and caressed certain places that he never usually did, like her ribcage and clavicle. He rubbed his thumb softly over the bone under her skin, he kissed her cheek and then buried his face in the crook of her neck.
She knew that he knew.
She bit her lip and tried to not to cry but she was feeling overwhelmed with emotions and the fact that Fitz kept her on the brink of an orgasm from the moment he entered her didn't do much to help her control herself either. She felt it, the tightening of her walls, the fire in her loins and then her orgasm erupted and she couldn't hold back anymore, the sobs began.
She covered her face and cried.
Fitz pulled out, sat up quickly and tried to console her.
"Liv, please, please, please, don't cry," he said frantically.
He lived in perpetual fear of seeing her cry that way, especially for something he blamed himself for. He tried to pulled her hands from her face, albeit gently so it took some time. Once he finally got them from her face he clasped them together.
"You knew, you knew all along, why didn't you tell me," she said as she continued sobbing.
He could see the droplets of water stuck in her lashes and running down her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, I should have told you."
"Why didn't you," she said as she wiped her eyes.
"Because I didn't want to see you like this, you were happy and I didn't want to cause you any more grief, I didn't want to disappoint you, I'm so sorry."
Olivia drew in a deep breath and tried to calm down. Her breath quivered as she sat up. Her dress dangled around her waist reminding her that she was naked in more ways than one so she pulled the straps over her shoulders covering her naked breast.
Fitz waited anxiously for what she would say next. He really couldn't tell if she was angry with him.
"Please talk to me," he implored, "I know you must be angry and you have every right to be angry with me."
"I am angry but not because you didn't tell me, but because you thought the best way to handle the situation was to ignore me for three weeks, is it because of what you saw, is that why it was so hard for you to touch me, I'm too damaged now."
"No," he said quickly. He caressed her cheek and expected her to pull away but she didn't and he was grateful. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before saying what he had to say.
"When I saw what they did to you, it made me sick, not because of anything that you did but because it was so hard to see to watch what they did to you, you are so kind and so strong and so beautiful, you didn't deserve that but most of all I just feel like I failed you because you should've never been there in the first place, and everyday that you were there was another day that I failed you."
"Fitz that not-"
"I know what you're gonna say, it's not true but I just can't help feeling that way. I know I should've told you right away but I didn't because I just thought that if I could fix it before I told you, maybe it wouldn't hurt you so much. I avoided you because I felt like if I had a single conversation with you, you'd know exactly what I was trying to hide and also," Fitz sighed and thought it would be better to be completely honest, "I've haven't been able to get what I saw out of my mind, it plays on a constant loop everyday in my head."
She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. He was expecting her reaction to be more explosive but he was grateful it wasn't.
Olivia took a deep breath, "is it coming out?"
"That's what we've been doing for the past few weeks, making sure they don't."
"How did you find it?"
"The FBI did, they took them from the Iranian revolutionary guard database but when they tried to erase their copies they got detected, so they know we have it. That was three weeks ago. They're kind of holding it over my head because they know that I don't want it released but were taking care of it."
"How?"
"The CIA is trying to assassinate Sassini, it's suppose to happen in two days."
"So you were going to tell me after he died?"
"Yes, I was."
"And when he dies what about the tapes."
"That's why it's in two days, the analysts think they'll be able to wipe it from the database by then, we're watching to see if they try to make any other copies but they haven't so far."
Olivia let go of his waist and sat up so she could face him.
"You still should have told me."
"I know, I'm sorry, I'm really, really, sorry."
"I know, I wish you did but I understand why you didn't, I'm not sure I'd be jumping at the bit to share bad news with you either."
Fitz took a deep sigh of relief at her understanding and kissed her temple.
"I don't want you to tell me what you saw but are you sure that after watching it everything is the same between us, nothing's changed. You're not gonna treat me differently."
"I love you more, if that's even possible but honestly I think it's gonna take a little time for me to not be weird but that's not a bad thing, now is the time to take advantage of me if you want, I don't think I can tell you no, you will be the most spoiled fiancee/wife in history," he said lightly hoping to cheer her up.
It worked for a moment because she smiled but then her eyes well up with tears and she covered her face again.
"No, don't cry, please Liv," he said as he hushed her and moved her hands from her face.
"I know, I just wasn't expecting this, I knew there was a possibility that it could come out, I just hoped it never would and now it might so it's just a lot to process," she said as she dried her face.
"I know but I'm here for you and I'm doing everything to make sure that it doesn't come to that but in the meantime just promise me that you won't spend all your time worrying about this, let me do that, I know you have to go to that concert tomorrow that should be fun- it's tomorrow right?"
"Yes it's tomorrow but I can't go, not anymore."
"You should go, just go have and fun and forget about this."
"I can't go and I definitely can't forget about this."
"Come on, I know how much you love those weird bands, the Temperament Trap."
Olivia chuckled and rolled her eyes.
"It's the Temper Trap."
"The Two door movie theatre club."
"It's the Two door cinema club Fitz."
He smiled.
"Group Orgy."
"It's Grouplove," she said laughing, "wow you actually know them."
"I do, you've been listening to it every night this week."
"Well, my fiance was ignoring me so I didn't have a choice."
Fitz smiled and shook his head.
"I don't deserve you, you're way too good for, me please never figure that out."
She chuckled then bit her lip, her eyes were still wet so he took his thumbs and wiped the water from her lashes and then kissed her softly.
"I love you and I really am sorry," he said sincerely, emotion heavy on his voice.
"I love you too and I think it's important that you know that if this video comes out, it's not your fault, it'll just be something we have to get through together, okay."
Fitz had noticed that she used the term 'video' more than once, suggesting she didn't know there were videos. He didn't want to ruin the moment but he didn't want a repeat of the last three weeks so he decided to be honest right there and then.
"Olivia, how many videos do you think there are?"
"One, how many are there?"
Fitz cleared his throat.
"There are four videos."
Olivia took a deep breath.
"How many have you seen?"
"Three."
The tears came again but this time she wasn't going to let him stop her from crying, she wanted to cry, she need to cry, to get the grief out of her system. He reached out to console her but she wouldn't let him.
"Just let me cry."
Fitz let her go and allowed her to lay on the bed as she wished but he still didn't feel comfortable just letting her cry.
"Can I hold you," he asked softly.
She nodded and allowed him to lay beside and wrap his arms around her. He kissed her softly on the cheek and they both laid in virtual silence, the only audible sound being Olivia's occasion sniffles until even those subsided and he realized she was asleep.
The next morning when Olivia woke up, later than usual she realized Fitz was gone and she almost had a fit until she heard footsteps approaching and saw him coming in from the balcony.
"I thought you left."
"No, of course not, not after last night."
He was dressed casually so she knew he must've cancelled his day or at least postponed it.
She smiled.
"Good because I was going to have a serious fit."
He chuckled.
"And rightfully so."
He walked closer and stopped right in front of her and kissed her.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Are you sure."
"Yeah, I feel better."
He kissed her again.
"Breakfast is out on the balcony for you."
"Thanks but I think I want to shower first before I eat, will you wait for me?"
"Oh, I already ate, I was hungry too, I couldn't wait."
She smiled and punched his arm.
"Not. Nice."
He shrugged playfully.
They heard a knock on the door and looked up.
"Not now," Fitz called out.
"Dad, it's Gerry."
"Can he come in," he whispered to Olivia.
She nodded.
"Come in."
Gerry walked in, fully dressed in his uniform for school.
"Liv, I texted you but you didn't reply, is everything still on for tonight?"
She pondered for a moment.
"Yeah, everything is still on."
"Great because Kenna is really excited to come with us."
"Gerry's going to the concert with you?" Fitz asked.
"Yeah, dad, I asked you last week and you said yes, although I'm pretty sure you were ignoring me the entire conversation."
"Oh, okay, that's probably why I don't remember."
Gerry shrugged nonchalantly.
"Okay, Liv, I'll meet you at the lab after school so you can finish showing me those how to find those genetic markers."
Gerry turned around to head out but she stopped him.
"Wait- Gerry, I'm not going to the lab today, we can finish working on that on Monday, I'll just meet you here and we can go leave for New York."
Gerry nodded.
"Okay, see ya later."
Gerry headed out and left them. Olivia went to shower shortly after then met Fitz out on the balcony to have breakfast.
She sat in the couch beside him and grabbed a bagel from the table.
"I'm going to tell you everything, starting from from Ethiopia so that you aren't left guessing about anything and then we figure out where to go from there."
"Liv, you don't have too."
"I know, but I want to."
Fitz nodded.
"Okay."
She took a deep breath. She was going to give him a brief overview of what happened, if she gave him every single detail, they'd be here for days.
"Okay, after one of the guys grabbed me out of the tent and the phone fell, they dragged me into the opening by the campfire. All the male doctors laid dead, including Caleb, a friend of mine, all the female doctors were line up on the ground including Abby and Siobhan, she was another one of my friends. He threw me beside them and took out a picture to confirm it was me they wanted and then he order one of the other guys to kill all the other doctors and take me. I got scared and grabbed onto to Abby and begged them not to kill her so they gave me a choice: save Abby or 5 other doctors that were lined up on the ground, I chose Abby," she paused, "they made us watch as they shot them each in execution, they were screaming my name and begging me not to let them die but I couldn't do anything about it and then Rex, he was the leader, his men dragged us to the car. I saw the bodies of the villagers, laying on the ground on the way to the car. They put me and Abby in separate cars and as soon as the car drove off they knocked me out. When I woke up, me and Abby were on this dirt floor in a hallway that led to outside, before we could even think of trying to escape, the guys came up to us, Rex teased us a little, told me that they were hired to kidnap me and they didn't get paid for it and that they were angry, he told me that they were going to kill Abby just for the fun of it then they left. I tried to come up with a plan to escape, I crawl to the end of the hallway to look outside to try to figure out where we were. I guess I sort of knew we both couldn't get away, if I got away they would surely kill Abby but if she got away based on what they told me, I don't think they would have killed me because they needed me so I decided that it would have to be Abby, I taught her how to mumble a few words in arabic and told her that if she made it back, she should tell you everything that happened. After we were pretty sure of what the plan was, I screamed to draw the guards to us and it worked because they all came running and then I told Abby to run. I grabbed one of the knives from one of the guards and stabbed him so that it was one less person chasing her, I didn't mean to kill him, I justed wanted to injure him and it worked, he was injured and couldn't run but then the leader Rex, saw what I did and killed him, right in front of me, his blood splashed in my face. He killed him because he said that it was one less person he had to share the money with. When they guards came back without Abby, they were really mad at me, and they beat me, I was laying on the ground and Rex kicked me in the ribs a few times, he broke two of my ribs and then he slammed me head against the ground and I lost consciousness, when I woke up I was in this little room that had no windows and left me there with some water, they never fed me. I'm not sure exactly how long I was in there, looking back I think it was a week but I don't know how long I was unconscious. When they finally took me out and brought me to a different room, my dad came. He told me to shower and get look presentable for Farrokh, he told me it was my fault that I was in that mess and that he was essentially getting back at me for not building the bomb for him to sell like 15 years earlier."
She paused and sighed.
"Farookh was nice at first, for the first two days, they kept me in a normal room with bed, they fed me really delicious middle eastern food and then after the two days he told me what he wanted. He told me their plan to fill barrels of the chemical through the subway system hoping the blast and shockwave from an explosion of that magnitude would level a sizable part of the city, they were aiming for the Times Square area. They said if I cooperated, they'd be nice to me and that once I gave them what they wanted they'd let me go which I knew was a lie, if I helped them then they'd just find another thing they wanted from me or they'd kill me. Obviously I told him no and he told me to think about it. He came back the next day and I told him no again and that was when he took me down to that white room and left me there. They stopped feeding me and only gave a bottle of water per day. I think I was there for a week before we came back and asked again and I told him no. Two weeks later he came back, but with 6 other guys wearing white and that's when they started the waterboarding and the beating and stuff. They wouldn't let me sleep and whenever it got too bad, they'd shove vitamins down my throat because they were afraid I was going to starve to death. My dad showed up at one point, I was so desperate that I begged him to help me even though the thought of asking him for help made me feel icky. After a few weeks, when they felt like the waterboarding and beatings weren't working, they got this little chemical, I don't know what it's called but-"
"It's called Vxb, I saw when they injected it into your arm."
She was quiet for a while.
"I that was the single most excruciating thing I've ever experienced in my life, I didn't know it was possible to feel pain like that. It was like I had lava running through my veins and I couldn't get it out."
"How many times did they use it?" he asked softly.
"11."
"Oh god, Liv."
He reached out and grabbed her immediately and wrapped his arms around her tightly. She wrapped her arms around around his neck and reciprocated his hug and then she held his face and kissed him softly.
"It's okay, I'm okay," she said softly.
She leaned back on his chest and sat quietly.
"They talked about killing me, I was kind of in a fugue state for the last three days or so I wasn't very aware of how they planned on doing it and then obviously, you rescued me before they got the chance to."
"Thank you so much, for sharing this with me. It answered a lot of questions I had and I know it wasn't easy for you and just please if you need anything at all just let me know, okay?"
"Okay," she said with a small smile, "I'm glad I finally got all of that out, so now you know everything that happened and we can move forward."
Fitz smiled.
"Yes we can."
They hung out for a while longer on the balcony until Fitz had to go back to oval, she went with him and stayed with him for the day as he came back and forth from the situation room. He had one of the analyst explain to her exactly what their plan was just so she had all the details of what would be happening in the next few days. He hoped it would help her be less anxious about the situation.
In the evening when Gerry came home, they got ready for the concert and left for the airport by 6pm. They arrived at Olivia's apartment by 8 to meet up with Abby, Kamaya, Harrison and Elliot. For the most part she managed to keep her mind from the situation with the tape and focus on conversing with everyone, catching up and listening to them talk about which songs they hoped to hear first and how excited they were that Tom got them front row tickets, mostly because of security purposes but regardless, it made the evening that much more fun.
By 8:30pm, they headed to the concert venue and were placed in their section minutes before the concert started.
One of Olivia's favorite bands opened the show, she was reserved at first but she kept remembering how Fitz begged her to forget about the drama and just have fun and as they went through her favorite songs and she looked over and saw all her friends and Gerry and Kenna dancing, singing and having fun, she couldn't help but join them and dance and scream and sing as well.
After an almost four hour concert where all she did was jump and scream, she was exhausted, she managed to stay up on the one hour plane ride back to D.C., mostly because she watched Gerry and Kenna debate which performances were the best. The guards drove Kenna home and Gerry and Olivia took a helicopter back to the whitehouse. When she got to the residence, the showered and then joined Fitz who was already asleep in the bed. She kissed him softly before she cuddle on his side and fell asleep moments later after an emotionally and physically exhausting 24 hours.