Coldplay – Fix You
Alex arrived at the hospital at 9:47 pm. Connor had been there for almost eleven hours, barring his brief trip to the truck stop shower to wash Taylor's blood off. Hank had also made a brief trip to walk and feed Sumo, but now he was dozing in one of the waiting room chairs, his head lolled against the wall beside it.
Alex came sweeping into the room, impossible to miss in the nearly silent waiting area. His black hair was a tangled mess around his face. There was a duffle bag slung over his shoulder with the airport tag still attached to it. He somehow appeared half-asleep and frantic at the same time, his eyes jumping around the room until locating the two of them.
He had called Connor as soon as the plane landed, but all that he could relay was what the doctor had told him. There would be no more information until Alex arrived. He walked toward them now, dumping his bag into an empty chair, still making more noise than the room had been exposed to in a while. There was only one woman sitting in the far corner, and she gave them a sour look. The man behind the reception desk was watching with interest.
"I tried to call on the way over to get information, but they wouldn't give me anything over the phone," he said by way of greeting. Hank had startled awake when he dropped his bag and was blinking up at him sleepily. "They said I had to speak to the doctor when I got here."
Connor felt that sense of unease returning. It had been so blatant when the doctor had used the word 'stable' on him earlier, but time and waiting had worn it down. He'd talked himself around his worry, convinced they were just being cautious.
He produced the phone number that the registration woman had left for him, written on a sticky note. It was the number for the trauma surgeon, she had explained. The doctor would change, but the number would not. He gave the slip of paper to Alex.
"This is the number they said to call when you arrived," Connor explained when Alex gave him a perplexed expression. "It's for the trauma doctor."
Alex seemed to pale as he looked at it, but he pulled his phone out, nonetheless. He turned away to dial the number, pacing back across the waiting room as he did so. Holding the phone to his ear, he held a two-minute conversation before he returned.
"The doctor is on the way." Connor stood. He reached up to adjust his tie, then remembered he was wearing Hank's clothes, so he didn't even have a tie on to straighten. He couldn't tell if the unpleasant tittering in his systems was nerves or excitement that he would finally know, finally get to see Taylor.
The locked door that connected the waiting room to the unit opened several minutes later. All three of them looked up, nearly in unison. To Connor's surprise, it was Dr. Amelia Odell. Her shift must have ended already, but she was holding a cup of coffee in her hand and looked surprisingly alert.
As she approached the three of them, however, her eyes giving Alex a once over, she didn't look impressed. The cap she was wearing earlier was gone, her dark brown hair tied back in a short ponytail. When she stopped in front of them, she stuck her hand out in the space between, offering a slight smile.
"Doctor Amelia Odell," she said in greeting. Alex shook her hand but couldn't manage a return smile. He looked nervous. "How are you related to the patient?"
"I'm not related to her by blood," Alex responded. Though he still looked pale and somewhat uncertain, he spoke firmly. "My name is Alex West. I'm Taylor's legal guardian and power of attorney."
"I see." She seemed to relax at this. She considered him for another few seconds before she finally released his hand. "Follow me."
Doctor Odell led them out of the waiting room, but not through the locked door she had come from. Instead she walked down the hall, into a tiny room. Connor read the sign beside the door as they entered, simply dubbed the 'Quiet Room'.
"Connor told me that Taylor is stable." Alex said, settling into a seat across from the doctor. He glanced around the room, again unsure. Connor took the spot beside him, leaving Hank to take the very end of the couch.
"Yes," Doctor Odell nodded. She sat her cup of coffee down on the table between them. "I wanted to speak to you about the nature of Taylor's condition before I take you back. You are aware of what happened to her?"
"I know that she was stabbed," Alex said. He swallowed, his voice thick.
"Taylor was stabbed just below the breastbone. She retained injury to her left lung and the left ventricle of her heart. When she arrived at the hospital, she was in full cardiac arrest due to the collection of blood around her heart, known as a tamponade."
Alex listened to all of this in silence. He didn't react, though his eyes did flicker in Connor's direction when the doctor mentioned Taylor's cardiac arrest. It was not hard to reason out that Connor had not been forthcoming on the reality of Taylor's condition.
"We opened her up in the trauma bay. With the help of one of our cardiothoracic surgeons, Dr. Vijay, we were able to repair her lung and her heart." Doctor Odell glanced between them. Her voice was calm and steady. Connor had the distinct impression that she did this kind of thing often. "However, because of the extent of the damage, Taylor is requiring extensive life support at the moment."
"Extensive?" Alex repeated the word as a question, but his voice was strained. He didn't say anything else.
"Taylor is on a ventilator, which is breathing for her. Due to the nature of her injury, Dr. Vijay and I thought it best to place Taylor on ECMO. In simple terms, ECMO is a form of life support that does the work of the heart and the lungs for the body, circulating and oxygenating the blood. This will allow time for her to heal.
"We have also initiated therapeutic hypothermia. It is a standard when a patient has a witnessed arrest. We do it to protect the brain and other organs. She'll be kept at 34 degrees Celsius for twenty-four hours, and then slowly warmed over the following twenty-four hours."
Doctor Odell finally stopped talking. Connor found that he was grateful. He didn't know how much more he could have listened to, and when he glanced to his right, Alex looked to be in a similar state.
"What—" Alex paused. He swallowed again. "What are her chances for survival?"
"Right now, the prognosis is guarded. We will have to wait a few days, to see how she is progressing, before I can give you a more definite answer." Doctor Odell looked between them again. "I wanted to explain this to you before I take you back. It can be quite scary, seeing your loved one attached to so much machinery. I want you to know we are doing everything that we can."
The hush that settled over the tiny room felt more like a pause in time than a moment of silence. Nobody moved. Connor stared at the boxes of tissues on the table, trying to imagine what other news that the doctors gave in this room. Trying not to imagine receiving the same news about Taylor.
Finally, Doctor Odell stood. "Would you like to come back and see her now?"
"Yes." Alex stood and Connor followed suit. They all filed back toward the waiting room, but Doctor Odell stopped before the locked door leading into the unit.
"We ask that only two people at a time come back." She said.
"I'll stay here," Hank said immediately. He took Alex's duffel bag, which he had been carrying with him, and headed back to the seat he'd been occupying before. Doctor Odell swiped her badge, the door unlocked, and she led them through.
The intensive care unit reminded Connor of an aquarium. The walls of the rooms were all glass, giving each separate space a fishbowl-like quality. He could see everything happening inside as he passed, a multitude of strangers attached to monitors, machines, tubes and wires. Nurses inside the rooms tending to patients or sitting just outside, looking in through the glass.
Taylor was in room 109, down the hallway and around a left turn. With the long explanation that the doctor had given them, Connor thought he would be prepared for the sight that greeted him. He wasn't sure he could have ever truly readied himself for it though.
There were tubes everywhere. In her neck, trailing out from under her gown to various containers, lines connected to intravenous medications, and the one coming from her mouth to the ventilator by the bed. It was just one of several machines attached to her.
Alex had frozen in the doorway to the room. Doctor Odell placed her hand on his shoulder while Connor stepped around them, further inside. It was only due to the fact that the rooms were quite large that there was any room to step at all. He knew that the doctor was speaking again, but he couldn't take his eyes away from Taylor.
"Please don't touch her." He startled when the nurse put a hand on his forearm. He hadn't realized how close he had come to the bed, or that he had reached his hand out to touch hers. The nurse gave him a sympathetic look as she said, "I'm sorry, it's just that while she's cooled, we can't do anything to affect her temperature."
"I'm sorry," Connor said, lowering his hand back to his side. He glanced back toward Alex, but he was still silent in the doorway, unable to move any closer. He turned back to the nurse hovering at his side. "May I stay with her?"
The nurse wavered then, looking over his shoulder at Doctor Odell. The doctor came into the room, stepping closer to him. "We don't normally allow visitors in the intensive care unit overnight."
"I'm an android," Connor said, turning now to face her. She was much shorter than he was, coming to just the center of his chest, so he had to tilt his head down to look into her eyes. "I don't require food or sleep or any sort of comfort. I just want to stay with her. Please."
Doctor Odell inclined her head up to return his gaze, her lips curving down into a slight frown. Her blue eyes moved very slowly over his face. Then she looked past him, to the nurse. "I leave that up to you." To him, she added, "The nurses are here 24/7, so if you stay it is at their discretion."
"I don't mind if you stay," the nurse said, giving him a small smile.
Doctor Odell headed back to the door, pausing only to pat Alex on the shoulder before she left. Alex passed a hand over his face. He still looked quite pale, an odd effect against his normally tan complexion, but he'd kept his composure rather well.
"I should...find some place to stay. I guess." His eyes only passed over Taylor's form for a fraction of a second before settling on Connor, like he couldn't bear to look at her for too long. "If she is going to be like this for twenty-four hours. I will come back in the morning. Just, call me if anything changes?"
"Of course." Connor nodded his assent. "Will you tell the lieutenant he can go home, as well?" He hesitated, then said, "Thank you, for calling him."
"You're welcome." Alex nodded back. He gave Taylor one last, lingering look that made him stand in the doorway for another good minute, like he was reconsidering his decision to leave. But he finally turned and walked out.
Connor retreated to the farthest corner of the room, away from the machines and the bed. He wanted to be close to Taylor, but he didn't want to run the risk of getting in anyone's way and having them kick him out. He could see everything from this perspective, and it was a constant struggle not to be running continuous scans on her inert form in the bed.
The nurse that had given him permission to stay returned to the computer that was attached to the wall. She had a rolling stool sitting in front of it and what he assumed was Taylor's medical chart open on the screen. There was another nurse in the room, seated in front of one of the machines by the bed, who had been silent up until this point.
It was the second nurse who was watching him curiously now. When she saw him looking back at her, she said, "Do you have any questions?"
A million. He wanted to know everything that was going on. He was already scanning the machines in the room, searching for information on their purpose and functions. He was a detective android, not a medical one, so he understood human anatomy, but he had no idea what most of this equipment was for.
"Are you just here to run that machine?" He asked, indicating the machine that she was seated in front of. She gave him a smile, nodding.
"I am. This is called a Cardiohelp. It's doing the work of the heart and the lungs. It requires specialty training to operate, and a separate person to manage while another nurse does the rest of the patient's care." Connor listened to her explanation, already searching for more information.
The nurse was willing to explain everything to him, though. She only paused to do the routine blood testing and maintenance to the machine every hour, and even then, she explained what she was doing and what changes she was making based on the results. The more she explained, the more comfortable he became asking questions.
Eventually, the other nurse joined in, explaining Taylor's lab results and ventilator settings and the frequency of her tests. He didn't realize he had moved closer, or how much time had passed. They spoke to him like he belonged there. Like a person.
Like a human.
Markus arrived the next morning. The nurses had changed shifts, so Connor had resumed his quiet vigil in the corner, well out of the way. He had spoken to Alex earlier in the morning to let him know there hadn't been any changes. The other man had told him that he was going to meet Jake, who was coming back into town that morning, and let him know Taylor's condition before he brought him to the hospital.
Therefore, Connor was alone in the room with the two nurses when Markus walked in. The deviant leader had the same reaction at the sight of Taylor that both he and Alex had the previous night.
Connor watched him freeze by the doorway, not moving to greet him. He'd had a whole night to stew over his thoughts and found that he hadn't quite reconciled with Hank's theory that this attack may have been intended for Markus. That may not necessarily be Markus's fault, if it were true, but it didn't mean he had to forgive him for it.
"Connor." Markus finally noticed him, sitting in the corner. The nurses from the nightshift had brought him a chair even after he insisted that he didn't need one. Markus nodded to the two nurses in the room now as he walked past them.
He was quiet for a few minutes longer as he stood next to Connor, just staring at Taylor with a quiet disbelief. His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned into the windowsill. Finally, he turned his head away. "What happened?"
Connor knew that Markus must have known the gist of what happened to Taylor. At the very least, he must have seen the news reports. Reliving the whole series of events was not an appealing thought, but Markus appeared genuinely distraught by the sight of the blonde.
So Connor retold the whole bitter tale once again. He didn't feel the usual catharsis that came with speaking of his emotions. Markus listened in reverent silence, a frown on his face that deepened as the story went on.
When it was done, he asked the very same question that Hank had the day before, only phrased slightly different. Tinged with guilt. "Do you think this is my fault? I shouldn't have stayed in Washington."
"Nothing good would have come of it either way. There's no way of knowing for sure if Taylor was their target or not." Connor found that he couldn't be cruel to Markus even if he did hold him slightly responsible.
"She tried to convince me not to stay. It was like she knew something was going to happen." Markus wasn't content to let it go so easily. Connor remembered the conversation in the hotel lobby that morning, before the flight. How worried Taylor had been.
"Taylor was worried something would happen to you in Washington. She didn't think anything was going to happen in Detroit." Connor said reasonably. If she had, he thought to himself, she wouldn't have lingered there at the airport.
"We knew that Helping Humans was a threat. We just didn't think they would be so bold." Markus tracked the movements of the nurses as they completed their tasks for the hour. Connor had grown so used to it that he didn't bother. Quietly, he said, "Do they think she will survive?"
"The doctor says it's too early to tell." Connor said. Markus didn't respond while he was watching the nurses, his expression neutral. After they had finally settled back into their seats, he looked down at the floor again.
"Raj was right. I should have let her go back to California." Connor was surprised. Mostly because he didn't think that Raj had said anything to Markus about not wanting Taylor to be their ambassador. Also, though, because he didn't think Markus would have regretted that much of it, especially after the conversation they'd had in Washington.
He couldn't imagine how different things would have been had Taylor returned to California with Alex after the revolution. How different he would be. He had thought the same thing about sending her back to California, but the more he thought about it, he didn't know. He wasn't sure what would have been best anymore, if anything would have saved her.
"There is no point in saying what we should or should not have done," Connor said at last. "We just have to hope she will get better."
Markus gave him a sideways look, his eyebrows furrowed. Perhaps the response sounded callous, but Connor had been driving himself crazy with the same thoughts for days. He knew there was no point.
Markus placed a hand on his shoulder. "She's going to get better."
He said it with conviction, but it didn't mean anything.