Chapter 5: Let's fall in love again

Dear diary,

Ever since the accident, I hadn't been allowed to move a limb. It's like I'm back home. I'm stuck in a room, bored out of my mind. Well not really bored-, She never realized when she fell asleep.

When she woke up, she felt a crazy cramp in her strained arm, "Wow." she moaned.

"Hey, you okay." She heard a muffled voice which almost made her heart jump, till she found who it was "Enzo?" as if she couldn't believe it, "What are you doing here?" She was alarmed beyond limits, he looked around and pressed a finger to her lips hurriedly " Shah, I came to see you."

Her forehead furrowed, "What? What do you mean? What do you want Enzo? " She almost seemed like she was warning him off, it was stupid because she couldn't harm him in anyway in this condition.

"Look I just want to talk, please." He sounded soft.

She relaxed after seeing him surrender with his words, "What is it?" She still held her guard up not showing any sign of warmness in her voice.

He without permission dragged a chair near to her bed and sat on it, "Elena I am sorry, so is Nik, he was too ashamed to even apologize but here I am, I wanted to."

She blinked, "I heard you, Enzo, when you suggested to leave me to die. If it weren't for Damon-,"

He shook his head, "I was scared, I really thought we killed you, but after we brought you back to the camp, I wanted nothing more in the world than for you to be okay,"

He held her hand softly as if worried he'd hurt her again, "I am a dick, Elena, I shouldn't have been down for this stupid plan, I never realized we'd be putting you in danger, I let Damon's stupid plan get to me." He almost sounded as if he'd tear up. "It was Damon's idea, honest. And I have even fought with him over this,"

His eyes were downcast and apologetic, "I let myself be ruled by whatever sick thing he had planned, I am so sorry, if you'd not be okay I would have died in guilt."

She sighed feeling a little affected, "It's okay."

"How can you be so kind to us, especially to that prick." He looked up at her, "We could have killed you, Elena, we could have made up a story that you tripped and what not, you still choose to forgive me?"

"It was a mistake, everything is okay, being mad at you or anyone isn't going to do any good." She smiled a little, "I am glad you're sorry, glad you won't let anyone else control you after this."

He nodded, "I'll never, if this has taught me anything it's not to be a kiss ass anymore."

She giggled.

They heard the door open and this time she really froze, seeing Damon on the door, "What are you doing here, visitors are not allowed." He instantly took on scolding Enzo.

"I could be asking you the same question," Enzo said through his teeth.

Damon looked at their laced fingers and cringed, disapproving in such loud expressions that Elena slipped her hand away from Enzo.

He got up from the chair, "I was here to talk to my friend."

Damon narrowed his eyes, "Since when did – forget it, so if you have finished talking to your FRIEND, why don't you leave?"

Elena was looking at their exchange with a little fear in her eyes, was this some prank again, she had never seen them fight. They were best buddies after all.

"What have you got there?" Enzo gestured to whatever Damon had been hiding behind his back.

"None of your business, go back to camps." He said with authority.

Enzo rolled his eyes, "I was going anyway, don't act like you own this place, dick head."

He deliberately hit his shoulder passing Damon to go outside. Damon only turned his head to her when he saw the door close.

She tensed up under his eyes "Elena," he chanted her name with softness for once, and her name sounded very good in his voice, she thought.

"Ham?"

"Enzo. You don't want to be friends with him okay." He said like he knew what was best for her.

"What? Why?" she asked a brow raised, Enzo was very warm and nice towards her today.

"Well. His track record with girls is brutal." Damon's way of saying he was a man slut.

She sighed, "Why are you here again?" She too tried to look behind his back to see what he had. A water gun? Slime? Not slime again. She thought.

"I thought you might be done reading those magazines, so I got you something." He finally revealed what was behind his back, he had a bag, he took out two books as Elena talked, "Uh you brought those I thought Stefan did that." She pointed at the table, then she turned her head to him, "Uh you were here before this?

"Yes, every night." He said in his duh voice, "You were sedated."

She nodded as he took out some candy and chocolates, "and some final stash." He said in a chuckle sitting on the chair.

She picked up a butterscotch, "You laced it with what?" Still not trusting him and his intentions.

He grinned wide, " Love and affection." He said in a dramatic voice "Don't be ungrateful and eat up."

She pouted stuffing her mouth with a few of the treats, he was just sitting there watching her till she finally sighed moving one of the pieces "Here have some."

He rolled his eyes, unwrapping the candy before putting it in his mouth.

She sighed, "You're here to say sorry?"

He shook his head, "here to make it up," he added. "I don't apologize. But I do own up to my mistakes."

She nodded pursing her lips dramatically, "umm right, what happened to 'oh I am sorry, sorry, shit Elena I am so sorry'." She tried to imitate him and his rough voice.

She saw him blush and for once being able to cause that made her feel like she won a match.

"That was my flight or fight response, it's caused by the parasympathetic nervous-,"

She interrupted before he turned into the know it all Damon Salvatore, "You chose to fight." She had a hint of a smile which made him feel very unusually tingly, he ran a hand through his hair "Yeah, uh I did."

They had a moment, where they were smiling genuinely at each other before, she looked away "I am sorry."

He looked at her with an expression which showed he had no idea what she was talking about.

She sighed, "I was rude to you, without a reason I dragged your mom in, at first I wanted to apologize because I wanted Stefan to not be mad at me. So that he'd talk to me again."

His face was cold again like he didn't want her to continue, he couldn't hear another word about it, his mother was the only thing that mattered to him.

"But now I want to apologize because I was wrong, I had no right to talk about you in that manner Damon. I am sorry that I thought you were somehow inferior to us because you aren't Damon. Your mother made her own choices and I shouldn't shame her or you for them. Thank you for everything you did. You saved my life. Maybe I'd chicken out if I were in your place." She leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly. "I stopped making sense two seconds ago, I am just… very sorry."

For a while he just gaped at her, he was still lost in the sweet tingly sensation her lips left on his skin but then he composed himself and he chuckled, "It's okay, I kind of almost killed you for it so."

His hands slid on her comforter covered legs, pressing them lightly, "You saved me from getting embarrassed, killed by Stefan and your parents." His eyes focused on massaging her legs.

"He wouldn't kill you." She said a brow raised. Damon shook his head, "No he would, you are very important to him, you should have seen him crying his eyes out when he got back and saw you."

"And how were you?" she asked instantly, her voice low, but she knew he heard it because his hands stopped moving on her legs, why was she interested in knowing how he felt? She was regretting it now.

He looked up at her face, "I don't know, it was like rollercoaster to be honest, I went from shocked to being scared to being angry at myself for this stupid prank and then you woke up and I felt relieved like I could breathe again, mind you not because I would be in deep shit if something happened to you, it was something else, I felt responsible enough to own up to it, then being shocked to see you save us, and then it went over and over like that,"

He stood up and she felt a little bugged that she was being left alone in a room again. "I should go." He murmured to himself more than her. He felt like she was breaking through all his walls. She was making him feel vulnerable.

She nodded, "okay, see you soon."

He lent down and for a second her eyes widened, what was he doing, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to stop him, she cursed at herself for being so needy for company.

He almost whispered as if were a secret, "Thank you for not telling on us, I am sure I didn't need it but it made me feel like I made up for something." He tenderly gave a peck on her cheek and turned around to leave, she touched her cheek, eyes wide, jaw drop, even after the door closed behind him, she was still frozen on her position.

..

..

He could overhear Stefan and Elena talk about Krystal, the foreign girl. She was the girl Elena suspected he was having an affair with. It was a time period of their life that Damon wished Elena would never remember.

She moved as if she was very uneasy and tried to hide herself from him by looking away.

"Stefan, can I talk to her?" he asked but his tone was telling Stefan to leave. He nodded. Elena held Stefan's Elbow "No Stef"

"Elena, I am right outside, talk this out okay." He patted her face getting up.

Once the door closed Damon turned to her, afraid if he'd go near she would freak out, "I lost control again, it's weird because I am a doctor, I should understand that it may take you years or even forever to get your memories back, even never." His voice was dreadful at the end, "but I was scared Elena, you are in another world, you've left me behind, when I saw a little bit come back, I just got very greedy, I thought I got you back."

She blinked innocently "I did remember after you pushed me to remember, but you won't be thrilled to know what I found."

He nodded, "It's funny right, how even your mind is acting against me, how everything in universe is acting against me."

She suddenly felt sorry at his pain stricken face.

He pressed his lips together, "Marriage isn't a bed of roses Elena, there are ups and downs, but a perfect marriage is the one where two people are still together, in love by the end of it, so that's my definition and defense as well, we had fights Elena but I loved you Elena and you loved me. We loved each other to no end. We used to say it was us against the world. And we were stronger."

She raked a hand in her head, "I get it."

He slowly came closer to her , sat next to her.

Both were looking at the fireplace , she felt the skin of her hand against his, brushing slowly.

"You want your wife back , I am not that person." She said in a slow low voice.

"It's not under your control Elena, I understand your memories are not under your control, my love for you isn't also under my control either, I can't stop myself from loving you ever, there is no off switch to it." He turned his head from the fire to look at her, "It's okay if you don't get them back , I accept you. But will you ever find it in you to accept me, because if you don't, I have no other identity."

She sighed, "I want to."

He cupped her face slowly, "You don't have to remember it; you can feel it."

He drew closer, so close their nose pressed against each other, one little movement and they'd kiss. His eyes were so blue and clear, fire and emotion filling in them, "If you don't trust me, you can trust your beating heart, look at how it races when I am near you."

He was going to press his lips on hers when she slowly pulled back, "I can't. Please."

He nodded holding both her hands, "I am sorry, I-uh, I lost my control – again. I seemed to be doing that a lot when I'm around you. Being around you drives me nuts and not being around you drive me nuts."

He was about to get up when she held his wrist "Don't." he looked at her, she sighed, "I want to know everything, tell me everything."

"Not everything love. I'd tell you some stuff. Baby steps." And I'll make you fall in love with me again. He vowed to himself.

..

..

It was one month to when he had tried to 'kiss' her, sometime she'd dream about it, if she had let him, what would be the nature of their relationship right now. However, he had convinced her to stay with him for now. At night their relationship would instantly be very intimate, she would find comfort in his warm embrace, sometimes at night, she'd feel his hand caressing her cheek, but nothing more. It was odd, less pressuring but some void would fill her, he should try to evoke something in her, but he was okay. Like he had said, he was accepting her.

It wasn't always rainbow and roses. When her panic attacks triggered she would shout at him, curse him and warn him to stay away. But when he would submit and tell her that he'd leave, she would run into his arms, because he was her safety she felt secure with him. She felt protected.

This morning, he had gotten up without their usual, it's awkward-now-moment. She woke up rubbing her eyes, alone in bed, the reason she was up because, she had heard the click of the bathroom door, he was in front of the dresser, wearing his jeans only. She could never get over how Half naked him was a total perfection, that too right out of the shower. She lazily smiled, "Morning."

He didn't turn, apparently styling his hair, "Hey, how did you sleep?"

She sighed remembering how she had woken up mid night, screaming, how easily did he calm her down, every word out of his mouth was soothing in those terrible moments.

"It was uh very nice. Did you sleep?"

"I couldn't, so I read a book, don't worry about it." He shrugged it off.

She got up from the bed, went around the large room to him, "Do you always walk around like that?"

"Is it intimidating you?" he smirked getting closer.

She grinned, "No, it does kill your I am a doctor image."

He backed away getting his shirt, "I don't know about you but it gets me a crowd of lady patients at the hospital."

"You're a neurosurgeon." She said in a caught you tone.

"Yes, they all get crazy after they watch this piece of candy walking around the hospital. Now that I am technically single-,"

She interrupted, "You're not single."

He put on his shirt, "Right."

She got ahead and started buttoning his shirt for him, "So you attract a female audience at the hospital."

He enjoyed how she was slowly buttoning his shirt. He enjoyed how she was actually taking interest in him for some days now. He enjoyed the possessiveness in her tone. "What if I do?"

She shook her head, "And you tell them you're single, technically."

She got done but her fingers still grazed his collar.

He looked down at her, she slowly cupped his face. He moved back, "Uh-uh, I'm very faithful to my wife and my wife will not approve of this." He waved his finger at her which made her laugh.

They went down for breakfast, they didn't realize they were holding hands till Caroline rose her brows at them.

Damon sighed, "Remind me why you guys are still here."

Stefan was making breakfast, "So we can use your groceries and kill any spiders."

Damon pulled out a chair, a habit he'd never forgotten, he made her a simple sandwich and held it out for her, she took a bite from it, "It's good."

"Okay so you remember Klaus right?" He said slowly not pressuring her too much.

"Yes, he was your friend right?"

"He is my friend, he works with me, we have different fields though, I thought, why don't you do a session with him?" He could already see the annoyance in Stefan's eyes, "really? That guy, Uh no."

"What session?" she asked curiously, having a sip from her juice.

"A psychiatric session, trust me, you'll find it relaxing. He excels at what he does, he is very famous and it's hard to get his appointment but he'd be doing me favor." His voice was soft and concerning, "It's not about me Elena, it's about you, I don't want this past twelve paranoia get the best of you, this memory loss has really heightened it, you're getting weaker day by day."

"Okay, if you put it that way." She sighed. "How is he? Like is he different?"

"Well. Klaus isn't much Klaus-ish anymore. He's grown to be a very serious man, ever since-," He didn't know how to put it.

"Ever since his wife died in a tragic car accident." Stefan muttered. "They brought her to Damon's hospital, and had called in for him to treat her but Damon had to refuse because he was busy somewhere else." Stefan added, in a tone as if accusing Damon of the reason for Klaus's wife death.

"Klaus is a professional doctor and he'd accepted to help Elena." Damon said rather strictly.

"But can we trust him?" Stefan replied.

"I wouldn't send Elena to him if I wasn't 110% sure." Damon retorted.

"So Klaus is being nice to people now." Elena attempted to diffuse some tension between the brothers.

Caroline added, "for money."

Damon interrupted her, "Oh, he can take all the money in the world if he helps her feel okay."

Elena felt a little warm ball growing big inside her heart, he loved her way too much. He grabbed his stuff.

She quickly jumped out of her moment, "uh so when will you be back?"

"Maybe six in the evening, I have no appointments as such, we don't know about emergencies though." He leant forward and kissed her forehead, "call me if there's any problem. Call me anyway."

She nodded and smiled till he left.

Caroline coughed bringing her back to reality, "Hem get a room."

Elena looked at her, "What? We're good friends."

"Friends who want to bang the hell out of each other." She said in a sing song voice. Stefan squeezed his eyes shut "Caroline? really?"

She laughed "What? He's clearly in love with her and she's- "

Stefan interrupted "Don't confuse Elena Please Care."

She rose up her hands in surrender "Okay okay, shutting up."

..

..

Like promised, he was back home soon, they talked, a lot, she had really started to see how she was interested in any topic he started, he'd tell her their stories, he'd tell her about his day, he'd share crazy gossips, watch movies, then debate on it for hours.

They were on the bed, somehow she had grown comfortable with being so close to him, though she should be given an award for holding back from jumping his bones, like she called him in her head, "Sexy stranger,"

He was checking all his emails on his IPad, she was telling him some childhood story of hers. "So Dad told me to pass the ketchup and I accidently squirted all of that in his face, he was – are you listening? you haven't heard this one right?"

He didn't look away from the screen 'Nope, all ears baby, go on." Of course, he knew all her stories by heart. He'd known the woman for practically all his life.

"So he told me Elena Jane Gilbert, this is a sixty-dollar polo shirt and I laughed, Stefan and I did many chores to make up for it though."

She sighed, "Okay the time I thought I was a vampire and tried to drink Stefan's blood, have I told you about that?"

He turned his head to her "Really?" Okay, that was a new.

She shrugged, "I was just checking if you're still listening."

He rolled his eyes, "so there isn't a vampire story?"

She chuckled resting her head on his shoulder, she felt sleepy after talking so much, "I wish you'd stay at home more."

He chuckled "So you can ignore me all day?"

She shook her head against his shoulder, "It's hard to ignore you."

"Elena Salvatore, are you flirting with me?" he said in a velvety voice.

"A little. I forgot to tell you, while I was out with Stefan today."

He interrupted, "urgh Stefan, Stefan, Stefan."

She continued, "I was in the dressing room, and suddenly I heard your voice, turns out it was in my head and when I closed my eyes, I saw it."

"What did you remember?" he was so excited all of a sudden "We were in the kitchen, baking muffins maybe – and laughing, we were very happy."

He nodded, "Oh right." Did she really remember their hot sweaty sex session on the counter? He didn't want to ask. Though now as he recalled it he felt so aroused. He began to imagine, if only he could just pull her to him, kiss her senseless. If he could just tear off her clothes, God, he wanted to feel her small hands on him – everywhere – almost as much as he wanted to touch her. He wanted her bound and helpless to the whims of his cock. He'll make her moan; he'll make her scream his name. But then his thoughts came to a halt when he noticed her sleeping on his chest.

He gently slid her down on the pillow and gazed at her face for a long while. He could literally give her the world. He loved her that much.

She relaxed to his touch, he moved forward a little kissing her temple.

..

..

The next morning, he got up before her, she had been very disturbed yesterday, she woke up two times last night and though he told her it was nothing to worry about, it was making him concerned more than ever.

At times, she'd refuse to let him close, she'd shout at him, she even tried to hurt him last night, pushing him away way too hard. But somehow he got her under control, however she didn't sleep much and neither did she let him sleep. She was scared of the strange killer that had been haunting her since her childhood.

He went outside and by the cold air in house, he knew Caroline was probably up doing her daily yoga.

He made himself coffee and walked to the balcony, "Morning."

She was in a cobra pose, seeing him, she fell on the mat 'Ouch! Thanks." She said in an angry huff getting up. "You're up." She looked at the clock on the table "Three hours earlier."

He shrugged, "Wow? Elena is right, you do keep those records."

Caroline rolled her eyes, "Stop being a dick and tell me what's up? let me guess? She had an episode again?"

Damon grinned as if hiding the annoyance, "Two actually. She wasn't really okay."

Caroline sat on the swing in the balcony, "So what do you want to ask?"

He sighed and sipped from his coffee sitting next to her, "Tell me she's going to love me, that this stage of her doubt won't warp me out. Tell me that we'll be strong and that we'll be forever."

She shrugged, "I am not going to lie to you Damon."

He bit his lip, "Why is this happening to me?"

"Maybe God has plans for you, other plans." She added the last part in a very low voice. She had always dreamed of them being together.

"Does Elena talk to you about me? Does she tell you that?" He got up restlessly going towards the balcony's grill, "That she might love me?"

He heard Caroline get up, she was by his side in a second, her mind had so many thoughts, Elena did talk about Damon, and so much this last week she was sure Elena was in love with him again yet she found herself shaking her head in a no, "She doesn't mention you much when you're not here, she gets very uncomfortable if I talk about it, Stefan has told me not to."

She couldn't hear it break but she was sure his heart was shattered into a million pieces. She very slowly touched the top of his hand which was clutching the iron of the Grill, "It's going to be okay Damon. I promise that soon you'll be happy, happier than you were before."

"I want her to be happy Caroline, I want to end this misery she goes through every day, I feel less of a man when I see her cry, I need to see her happy, even if it involves me being away from her."

Caroline sighed, "And want nothing in return? because that's what it's going to be Damon."

He was quite now, painfully quiet, "She did tell me to get the hell away from her last night during her episode."

"Her loss." She smiled at him, her fingers had laced with his but he didn't find any intimacy in it, it was just a gesture.

..

..

From a distance, Elena could hear them, after she had woken up, she had been looking for him, till she found him in the balcony talking to Caroline, "I want her to be happy Caroline, I want to end this misery she goes through every day, I feel less of a man when I see her cry, I need to see her happy, even if it involves me being away from her," and every word followed by it.

Oh now she remembered, she had been too cruel to him last night, pushed, bit, clawed, and he was still not losing his brain, he was patient with her.

Then again what was Caroline suggesting that he'd move on from her?

She somehow felt upset to that idea, someone not loving her as selflessly as Damon.

When she looked at Caroline's pale hand in his, she felt a hard wave of discomfort hit her, Caroline was being polite but it still looked wrong to her, she walked up behind them, she never knew what came over her, her hand wrapped around his middle, she let her head rest between the blades of his back "Hey." She said in a husky voice.

Like she targeted, he instantly let Caroline's hand go, and it went back to touch her, "Someone's in a good mood." She moved closer to him and gave him a warm embrace, almost giving him a mini heart attack. Get a grip. He told himself. Why are you happy over a hug with your own wife?

She nodded against his neck as she eyed Caroline, who was looking away now, running her hand in her hair as if ashamed.

"I was, I thought you already left and now I see you're here." He turned to her "if this is your way of getting out of therapy it's not working."

She narrowed her eyes, "I have already agreed on that, I just wanted to thank you for last night, I didn't know what I'd do if you wouldn't be here."

He huffed, "Apology granted, but for next time I'd be only accepting written ones."

She chuckled, looking at Caroline for a second, "I think Caroline and Stefan shouldn't be bothered anymore. We can take it from here."

He looked at Caroline, "Now there's some silver lining right Care bear?"

She tried to smile ,"Of course, you guys left unsupervised, it's a good idea."

"You sure you don't need your best friends to take care of you now," he asked once more.

She shook her head cupping his face, "I don't have to, I have you." She got ahead and hugged him again, feeling warm and safe in his arms.

She never felt the eyes of an intruder, burning in jealousy, planning to kill her forever.

I had very less response on this story last time. Are you guys reading? I would love to hear your output on this. Tell me who do you think the killer is.

What are your thoughts about Damon and Elena? Caroline and Stefan? Enzo?

Tell me. I'd be eagerly waiting!

Love

May

Check out Fatal Attraction rewrite and Inked Hearts.