In my life, I was always alone at one point or another. Starting from my birth, I was an orphan. Didn't have any friends until I met Renji, which was about when I was 6 years old. When I was in my teens, I ran away and survived on the streets for about a year or so until Byakuya found me. I went to Gramp's house and I didn't know anybody in that place. I come back home, and my only distant relative gets murdered in the same building I was in.

He was literally ten feet away from me, and I didn't hear a single thing. And then it popped in my head—was there even a "murderer" in the first place? Maybe he could've been so unhappy that he wanted to take his own life?

But then there was the broken window and knocked over bookshelf. He didn't have the strength for that. And most of all, I don't think there was any reason at all for him to even do suicide in the first place!

And I'm alone, again. I don't mean to sound selfish, but having that "feeling" come back to haunt you over and over again, you can't help but be "influenced" by it, you know? So when that "lonely" mood gets me, I'm in a rut inside the deepest crack of the Earth.

Thanks to my doctor friend, he managed to slip me out of having to go to Psych to deal with the situation. The last thing I needed were old prunes asking me to go over my feelings until they can finally understand that I am sad.

That evening, I went straight to Byakuya's home, feeling a pang as I looked up at the condo, knowing that its previous owner would never return. With a heaved sigh, I put my feelings to the side and walked up to the doorstep. Turning the knob, I was surprised to find that it was loose.

"Oi," A voice called from within. I peeked my head in and saw that it was Renji, who was setting down a box of things.

"Renji! What are you doing here?" I closed the door as I walked towards him. "And what's in the box?"

"Food. You're going to starve without it," He opened the fridge and started stuffing it. "And are you kidding? Leaving you alone is about as good as letting a kid drive a car."

"You're so kind."

"Am I? I've been told I'm a Saint. Imagine that."

"Oh Lord," I shook my head. "I appreciate you stopping by, but I can take care of myself."

"That right there," Renji pointed a banana at me. "Is bull. Besides, I'm not leaving this house until you tell me exactly what happened and where you went."

"You're making that face," I groaned.

"What face?"

"The stubborn ass face. You really won't go."

"Damn straight."

"Give me that wine bottle next to you. Me and me friend Zinfandel have a lot of catching up to do."

"Don't be selfish now."

I told Renji everything that happened, but not everything. As in, the part about me seeing a ghost, nearly being killed by a monster, and then riding on a dragon. Even now, I sound pretty stupid writing this as we speak. I just told him the normal stuff. Maybe a little bit too much stuff.

From 3 p.m. to midnight, me and Renji just talked all night long as we slurped down whatever traces of alcohol we could find. I was on the couch, sitting upside down with my legs over the couch as I stared for what seemed like ages at the man in front of me, who was sitting upside-down on the couch as well.

You see, when we get talking, we don't behave quite like "normal" people would. Instead of sitting down and having a sip of coffee, we try to talk and do something else to distract ourselves. Emotionally, we're two bipolar messes, he and I. So, we try to get it off our chest while not confronting it "directly". And the best part is, when you both are drunk, that liquid courage will help get the hardest stuff off your chest while the person on the other end is almost about to pass out, so there's no guilty conscience about not telling them. Excellent strategy, no?

"So, what's the deal with you and this doctor person?"

"Hum?" I blinked a I slowly sat up, only to lay down on the couch.

"Are you dating, fucking, what?"

"You pervert! What makes you even think that we'd do something like that?"

"The way you talk about him, the fact that he wants to take you out, alone, and everybody knows what happens after dinner."

"If you're talking about-"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about," He snorted as he clumsily got up, and humped the air and guffawed as he sat back down, and it was then that I realized he was totally drunk out of his mind. His cheeks were slightly reddened as he continued to smile that stupid grin of his.

"Well, I don't really see him like that. I mean, he's hot, don't get me wrong,, I just don't wun a boyfriend right now."

"Come onnn!" He whined. "You haven't got laid in yerrs."

"Renji!" I hissed. "You don't know that!"

"I am your confidant. You tell me every little thing. And I know for a fact that you haven't slept with that doctor...yet."

"And just how did you come to that conclusion?"

"You aren't blushing when you talk about him."

"That's so stupid. I do not blush-"

"Yeeep," He nodded. "You do. But why not the doc? You're not still hung up on John, are ya?"

"Why would you think that?" I hiccupped. "I haven't even mentioned him."

"That's why. You avoidin' bringing up his name on purpose?"

I shook my head. "It's just weird."

"Whut is?"

"Me and him. I take off for three months, and he hasn't as much as tried to call me."

"Oh, he was lookin' for ya," Renji nodded as he laid down next to me, staring up at the ceiling. "Was plenty worried."

"Really?" I murmured, feeling a stab of guilt for thinking that he had given up from the get-go. "But don't you hate him? Why aren't you trashing him?"

"'Cause me and him talked it out. While you were gone. Both realized we were stupid for startin' up shit for nothin'. All that mattered was finding you, But now that you're back, everything's great!"

"Yeah," I stared up to the ceiling. "Just peachy."

"Ain't you happy? Now you kin date 'im without no complicachins!"

"Yeah, and my brother being killed is just one less "complication", right?"

"I didn't mean it like that," He groaned as he sat up, looking me down. "I know you're depressed right now, and ya have evry right to be. But evenchully, ya gonna have ter move on. And you got a chance between lover boy or that special doctor ya got."

"No," I whined. "I don't want either right now."

"Yeah, right now. But later, are ya still gonna want to be lonely?"

"…Maybe."

"Rukia."

"Hm?" I looked to my right, only then realizing that it was too late to undo what I've done. That is, kiss my best friend.

Call me cliché for blaming it on the alcohol, but Renji had taken a swig too many. I was nowhere near where his mind was drifting off too. He was just drunk out of his friggin' mind. He didn't mean that. So, I wasn't as "shocked" or "upset", or even "disgusted" when this happened. Nope, I just acted normal. Ish. Since it wasn't just a peck, more like a "in the moment" kinda thing, I didn't want to do anything that'd squash his ego. Heaven forbid you "emasculate" a guy for saying the wrong thing.

After that deed was done, he backed up and asked me, "So, you're telling me you'd want to miss out on that?"

"Maybe I'd miss it. But just a little!"

"At least I know you're definitely straight."

God, are you trying to tell me something with this issue that keeps popping up?

"And I know that," He added. "That you definitely need somebody. Like it or not, you're not okay."

"EH?"

"You're not okay, because you haven't been with somebody in…a year? Two?"

"Three," I hung my head.

"Exactly."

I shook my head. "So what? I can be alone if I want to!"

Renji gave me a look that specifically asked, dull eyes and all, "Do you really want to?"

"I'm going to bed!" I huffed as I hastily got off the couch.

"You're going to sleep in your dead brother's bed?"

"Of course not!" I hissed. "The guest bedroom."

"You want me to join you?"

"That won't be necessary. You can sleep on the couch."

"Rukia," He whined. "I'm gonna freeze my ass off."

I smiled maliciously. "Then you sleep in Byakuya's bed."

"I'll do that."

"Alright then," I walked off into the hallway.

"There's no spiders or nothin' in there, right?"

Roughly half an hour later, the house was silent, and I just got out of the bathroom, ready to hit the hay and drift off into slumber. Only thing was, I couldn't. Hell, I don't think anybody sleeps after hearing a relative died.

Turning the light switch to the lamp off, a sigh escaped from my nose as I laid on my side, staring at the window. Bustling cars and buildings all lit up stood across from me, and the view of New York from where I was was absolutely fantastic. It was like a city that never sleeps. People always on the street, stores open almost all day long, it really was like another world. The amber glow from the street lamps was just the final touch to it. Made it seem like an abstract painting. Unfortunately, I was left out of that "picture" and was in that world's inverse, where it's dark and cold. Yeah, I'm a little depressing, I get it. Not like I'm gonna jump for joy anytime soon. I need time to think about things. But time is not enough.

I tried not to think of Byakuya, but trying not to just backfired. He truly was the ideal "big brother". Protective, loyal, and full of pride. I, on the other hand, was reckless, emotional, and acted on a whim. Not so much of a good comparison. I wondered if he hated or loved Hisana. I wondered if he was close with Ginrei.

"Shit," I whined as I turned to the other side, only to roll into something warm, boney, and rather big. Doesn't take a smart one to figure this one out.

"Hellur," A voice giggled.

"Renji, how-when the hell did you get here?"

"I had to be reeeeeaaalll quiet so I wouldn't letcha hear me. And thank god this bed ain't squeaky."

"Get out of my bed."

"D'aww, c'mon. I'm cold. And you're lonely, so win-win!"

"You're going to be cold and lonely if I kick you outta my house."

"Rukia, lemme just sleep here. I'm already sleepy, I won't do nothin', I promise."

"It's anything, dumbass," I sneered as I turned over. "…And you promise no tricks?"

"No tricks."

"Fine. But if I so much as feel a hand, you are out."

"Yes ma'am."

"And stop hogging the blanket," I groaned as I tried to pull the cloth, but instead of the blanket coming towards me, the barely conscious man snuggled up against my back instead and slipped an arm around my waist, pulling my body closer to his.

"Renji Abarai," I hissed. "I warned you. So, get the hell outta my be-"

"Shuddup," He groaned. "You're cold too, I can feel the goosebumps on your skin. You don't have to be a bitch and act like you're okay, 'cause you're not. You need time, sleep, and closure, so shut the hell up and go to sleep."

And shuddup I did. He cracked the code before I did. Renji's may have been drunk, but he's not totally stupid. There's still some brain in there.

"You're right," I said, not believing my own words. "You're absolutely right." I turned my head to look at him. "Closure is just the thing I've been avoiding."

"So why reject it?" He talked with his eyes closed. "You gotta talk things out, ya know? And tomorrow, you need to tell your friends what happened so they can help you get through with this too."

"Pft, what friends?" I scoffed.

"The ones down at TR?"

"Oh, you mean at the place where I no longer work at?"

"What do you mean? You quit?"

"No, I mean, I think I'd be fired after being gone for so long. I don't blame Boss if he hired a bimbo to replace me."

"Nah, nah. He was looking for you too, believe it or not. Said he missed that drink you made. So, some people had to take extra shifts, but nobody replaced you for good. Even though you hadn't even got to work one day officially."

"And that's the embarrassing part."

"Why don't you come with me and we'll stop by and shock 'em, eh?"

Shrugging, I wasn't really up to it. "I dunno."

"I'll cook tomorrow if you do it."

I had to roll over and look him in the eye about this. Rarely, if ever did this man cook, and when he did, the food was to die for. I never knew why he didn't cook often. "Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert?"

"Hey now, I was just talking about one, singular, uno meal. Not a whole buffet."

"Then I won't go."

"What are you, five?"

"On the outside, yes."

I heard the slight sound of a chuckle, then feeling the bony chin rest on my collar bone and a head resting in the crook of my shoulder with part of his messy, bloody mane hanging over.

"Thank you," I smiled in the darkness.

When morning came, I woke up alone, and the sound of the dishes clanking was the first thing I heard, which could explain the missing body from the bed.

Groaning, I dropped my head back to my pillow and rolled over. I let our a bear yawn as I looked over to the window, seeing that people have already got out of their bed, unlike me.

"Fuck!"

"Renji?" I asked with a mix of suspicion and curiousity, wondering what could be going on.

"Oi! You up?"

"Yeah," I walked out the room and to the kitchen, seeing the man pour water over his hand. "What happened?"

"I got burned by the oil. Oh, by the way, you're welcome."

"For what?"

He jerked his chin in the direction of the counter, and I saw that there was an egg omelet that was awaiting for me to devour it. Just looking at it made my tummy growl.

"I'm surprised you remembered your little promise, being as you were drunk out of your mind yesterday," I sat down on the chair beneath the counter and dived into the meal.

"Oh, don't worry about me. Just keep your promise."

"Remind me again what was my end of the deal."

"To stop by TR and prove to everyone that you're very much alive."

"Darn, that was today?"

"You're not getting out of this one, Rukia. You will meet your friends."

"Why are you so insistent on me meeting them?"

"Because I made a promise," Renji muttered as he moved his omelet out of the pan and to his plate.

"May I ask to whom?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Lots of people. I promised them as soon as I saw you, that I'd drag you back there, kicking and screaming."

"Okay, them who?"

"You know," He bit into his breakfast. "Your friends obviously."

"I can take a hint. Obviously, whoever you promised didn't want me knowing that they missed me that much, so I won't ruin the surprise." I grabbed some bread and broke it. "But gimme a hint?"

"Eat your omelet before it gets cold."

"You're a real bitch sometimes, you know that?" I sneered.

"Right back at you."

"Anyways," I mumbled, changing the subject, "What do I do about the fact that all my stuff's been taken?"

"That's another reason why we're going down to TR. First, we tell the people you're not dead. Should make their stress drop down quite a bit-"

"What do you mean? Did something happen?"

"Let me finish," Renji butted. "After you make your entrance, then you will explain your situation about Byakuya and the repo-"

"I think not!" I stood up in my chair, finally eye-to-eye with the man. "People are going to think I'm some kind of pathetic beggar! And they'll have the upper hand because I'll have to owe them something."

"So, you're saying you'd rather starve in the same old clothes you wear everyday rather than do a couple of favors for some people?"

"…When you put it like that-"

"That's what I thought," He grinned smugly. "So, after begging-"

"Politely asking," I corrected.

"You will then have a chat with Boss man about your job. After all, you need some kind of income, right?"

"True."

"Now you see that your visit to TR will have more than one purpose, all of them, really, for your own good. Not that difficult of a task. But you'll definitely need something else to wear."

"What's wrong with this?" I gawked at him, pointing to the boxers and tee that were a size, maybe two, too big for me. But they were comfortable.

"Other than the fact that it looks like a cleaning cloth?"

"Hey!"

"You need clothes too. Don't forget to ask for them while you're at TR. Come to think of it," He mumbled as he fetched out his wallet from his back pocket and passed

two Benjamins towards me. "Go on a little spree. Meet me at the corner of Madison and 52nd around noon-ish. Then we'll go to TR. Actually, better yet so you just don't get some clothes at Goodwill, I'll go with you."

"Pah!" I laughed, nearly choking on my egg. "That's the first time I heard that come out of your mouth. Are you sure you want to do that? I can take my time and be reaaaal slow."

"As long as you're wearing something that won't embarrass me once you walk in, that's fine."

Fast-forward to the part where we're at TR's door, and I'm too nervous to walk in. I can't even touch the door handle without my hands shaking.

"Anxiety much?" Renji teased as he coolly opened it. "After you."

"Fuck you," I hissed as I walked in. At first, people didn't notice and they were acting normal. But then, the sounds of whisper started to gradually increase, and "Oh my God," was starting to be repeated over and over like a song on repeat. My first instinct took control and I took a step backward, but I bumped into Renji, who placed both hands on my shoulders.

"Keep your cool. Don't lose it until you see somebody you recognize," He whispered.

"Who are these people?"

"Boss hired a couple of extras to increase security around here. Although they're the ones gossiping about your premiere, stay on your toes. Because if you get on their bad side, you're on your own."

"They're deadly?" I turned back with a confused look.

"Fatal. Like poison," He muttered, then slapping me on the side of the head. "Have fun!"

"Where are you going?"

"To work, of course."

"So you did have an agenda," I sneered.

"Hell yeah," He laughed as he passed through the golden edged, glass double doors as the man got lost in the crowd of gamblers, roulettes, and poker machines.

"Piece of shit," I muttered as I tried to shake off my anxiety, but the crowd of staring eyes didn't help one bit.

I felt a heavy tap on my shoulder, and turned around, thankful to finally see a familiar face.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes, Ms. Kuchiki," The woman with long blonde hair and big boobs said. I would've hugged and said, "Oh my gosh, it's been forever since I last saw you!" but alas, I forgot her name.

"Haha, uhm, yeah," I smiled as I scratched the back of my head. "What's up?"

"What's up? Is that honestly how you planned to greet people after coming back? You know, people thought you were dead. I didn't think so. I knew you couldn't just die like that."

"Well, I'm here to stay, whether they like it or not."

"And you haven't changed a bit," The blonde smirked. "You mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"What were you really doing at Aizen's party?"

"Oh, that was so long ago, I can hardly remember the details."

"You remember that bomb that went off?"

Oh, so you're that chick.

"Rangiku," I started, trying to buy myself some time to think. "Nobody saw that coming. Except for the criminal, but still. I have nothing to do with it. I was just as affected as you were-"

"That girl that blew up, she was my friend. I don't think you and I are in the least bit similar on those terms. You don't know what it's like to have someone just taken from you like that, so don't act like you-"

"Actually I do," I stood my ground, taking in a breath. "My brother was murdered right behind my back in a hospital room, a bloody mess. You still think that we're not on equal terms?"

The woman was silent, but it was clear as bell that she was controlling herself.

"I'm going to say this only to you once, do you understand?"

"I'm not deaf, I can hear just fine," I glared.

"Good," She bent down to whisper in my ear. "You may be real chummy with Boss, but that doesn't mean you are with everybody else. Keep that in mind if you're truly here to stay. I'm going to let go of you now, and you better smile back if you want to convince people that we're "friends"."

I did as she said, plastered grin and all. She smiled back in response before leaving.

"Oh, Rangiku?" I called, making her turn around.

"What?"

"Regardless of what you think, I really am sorry about what happened that night."

She stared at me for a while before giving a single nod and disappearing in the small crowd of employees swarmed at the bar.

"Wow, someone sure ain't on the welcoming wagon for you. I'd hate to see that you're not welcome here, because you definitely are, regardless of what some slut says."

I couldn't help but laugh, tracking the voice to my far right. My eyes looked in that direction, and I saw a man with bright azure hair chuckling as he came towards me with arms slightly outstretched for that welcoming hug.

"Well, are you gonna disappear again?"

"Nah," I shook my head. "After disappearing, I've come to really miss home. Where's Nel? I haven't seen her around."

"Way to notice me," Another voice said, which I instantly recognized as her's. She popped up from my left and lightly punched the side of my arm.

"God, you have no idea how happy I am to see your faces," I paused for a moment, trying to not let my excitement get the better of me. "Can we talk somewhere more private?"

"Come step into my office," Nel grinned as she led us to the lobby room, and then down a couple of hallways before opening a door and waiting for the two of us to enter before closing it.

"Now," She said, pulling her office chair in with the others so that she sat next to Grimmjow and that I was across from them. "Where the hell you been?"

"It's a really long story, so I'll just sum it up," I swallowed my anxiety, trying to clear my head in a second so I wouldn't digress on anything stupid. "And some parts are going to sound really bizarre, like as if it's from a fucked up version of a Brothers Grimm tale, so don't judge me."

"Believe me, we don't judge," Grimmjow snickered, but he was smacked on the wrist by the lady next to him.

"What he said. Now, go on."

Like with Renji, I explained everything, but not everything. In this case, I left out more.

"Holy shit," Grimm scratched his nose and then turned to Nel. "You don't think that woman was-"

"Yeah, it was," She nodded solemnly.

"What, what?" I asked, feeling left out.

"That bitch," The man began.

"That woman," Nel cut him off. "Was John's ex."

"Oh my God, that explains everything! I could see why they broke up, being that she's a little, well, psychotic!"

"A little?"

"What he means is," The woman looked at her beau, and then back to me. "Well, yeah, she's fucked up. Avoid her at all costs. She's no good. But she hasn't been near TR in ages, so as long as you're here, you're safe."

"Speaking of which, that reminds me of something," I said, then looking to Grimm. "Do you mind if we have a girl talk?"

"Knock yourself out."

"Ne la seduit pas maintenant," She said in a completely different voice, which totally shocked me. I didn't know she could speak French, did you?

"Qu'importe, elle se porteras bien. Je suis surpris qu'elle a survecu aussi longtemps, pour te dire la vérité," The man spoke, in a different tone as well.

"Sortez déjá, Grimmjow," Nel said in almost a warning tone, and he shrugged as he closed the door behind him.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, puzzled.

"Oh, just some French," She acted as if nothing was weird. "His family's French, and I eventually learned the language and we just like to throw it in every now and then. So," Nel paused. "What did you have to talk to me about?"

"Um," I blanked, trying to recall just what I wanted to tell her. "Oh yeah, I've heard from Renji a couple of things about John…"

"Uh-huh?"

"And I don't know what to do. I'm kinda at a fork in the road."

"Oh?"

"There's this other guy, who popped up when John wasn't around," I muttered, feeling like the kid who got caught stealing the last cookie from the cookie jar.

"Who's the other guy?"

"This doctor, Damir, who's been taking care of me the past couple of months. He was also Byakuya's doctor, but since the incident at the party, he's just been there for me. I probably would've gone insane were it not for him."

"Hmm," Nel nodded, but the look on her face didn't seem that approving of the doctor.

"Did I…say something?"

"No, no, it's just I need time to process what you told me. But what did Renji tell you about John?"

"Only that he looked for me while I was gone."

"He's damn right about that. Honestly, and I'm not trying to say this to influence your decision or anything, but he was like a ghost over here. I'm not saying that he was on his knees crying, no. But he didn't seem like himself. You remember how I was when Grimm was away?"

"Yeah," I laughed softly. "You really weren't yourself then. Speaking of which, when did he get back?"

"A couple of days ago actually. He just popped up outta nowhere."

"Well, you must've been really surprised to see his face."

"Oh, you have no idea," She smiled. "Now, what are you going to do about your little dilemma?"

"I've been thinking about it all day, and I think I should stop seeing Damir. I can't involve him in TR and everything. But it's not like I can instantly bounce back to John. He is probably seeing someone else anyways."

"Nope."

"Huh?"

"He's not," She repeated. "He's been doing a lot of business stuff to keep his mind off of things. Smart boy, that one."

"In your opinion," I spoke as I fidgeted with my hands. "You think I got a shot? I mean, it's gonna be really awkward talking to him again."

"Y'all weren't anythingto begin with, right?"

Well damn, way to put a crimp in my day, Nel.

"Yeah," I half-heartedly agreed with a shrug. "You're right."

"So I don't see any excuse not to talk to him."

"You're right," I nodded with a mile-wide grin as I got up out the chair and headed for the door.

"And Rukia?"

"Hmm?" I turned around.

"You don't have to be ashamed to ask for help, you know. You're more than welcome to live at my place if you feel uncomfortable at Byakuya's."

"Thanks, but I'm good. Oh, before I go," I bounce back before stepping in the doorway. "Where is Boss's office?"

"He isn't in right now. But I'll be sure to let him now you dropped by."

"Thanks, Nel. Do you want to come over for coffee sometime?"

"That sounds great. And one last question."

"Yeah?"

"When is your brother's funeral? Me and Grimmjow would like to pay our respects."

Oh shit, I haven't even thought of that. Not to sound totally shallow, but the only thing I thought of was how much this was going to put a dent in the wallet I called my bra, because I was too cheap to even buy a wallet.

"I...need to decide on the last minute details before arranging the date. I'll call you when there's an official date."

"Alright, I'll see you later then."

As I walked out, I couldn't help but feel like shit for not even thinking of Byakuya's funeral. He would've totally had this done by now if I had died. I am such a horrible person.

I had done my deed of the promise, so I saw no point in being here. It was starting to be a bit unwelcoming. I went to the casino room and tried searching for Renji, but with so many drunken gamblers there, I was starting to feel a bit unsafe.

"Can I help you, Miss?" A nearby waiter came over to me.

"Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. He's tall, had red hair, lots of tattoos?"

"He is in the lobby, miss. Just take a right from here and you'll be there."

"Thank you," I nodded before heading over there and seeing the redhead, with a slightly irritated look on his face. "Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?" I asked.

"It's nothing," He growled. "C'mon, I'll take you home. I need to get away from these shitheads."

On the way back, Renji didn't say very much, he just looked angry. I think one of the veins on his forehead were about to explode. It was just so 3-D, I didn't even need those nerdy glasses to see it.

I crashed on the couch and snatched up the blanket from the floor as I shimmied and adjusted myself for a nap, but someone obviously was intent on ruining my day.

"I heard ya spoke to Grimm and Nel."

"Yup," I yawned.

"How'd it go? Did you tell them?"

"Yup."

"Everything?"

"Just what I told you."

"Including the doctor?"

"I told Nel."

"Why not Grimm?

"He's a man. He doesn't care."

"And me?"

"You're a man that cares. Kinda. Sorta. I dunno," I rolled over.

"And Boss?"

"Wasn't there today. Nel said she'd let him know I want to talk to him."

"Well, I'll be damned. You socialized!"

"Woop woop."

"What's your problem now?" He groaned.

"I want to sleep," I muttered.

"It's only 2 o' clock. How can you be tired?"

"Socializing is hard work."

"Whatever, I'll leave you to sleep. But don't forget to take a shower. You still need to work, you know."

"I don't even know when I work. I told you, I need to talk to Boss."

"Aight, see you."

"Whenever," I held up a hand as I heard his footsteps go to the door and the sound of it being closed and locked from the outside. Finally, I can go to sleep in peace.

And just when my consciousness had started to drift off into slumber, my phone rang. For the first time in three months, it rang it just had, I mean, had to ring at this precise, specific, exact moment. God was punishing me for something, I know it.

My hand clawed for the cell under the table and stuck it under the couch cushion so that the sounds could be muffled. After one ring, two, three, four, it finally ceased and I sighed in contentedness.

I looked to my side and noticed that my hair was particularly dirty. I haven't showered in a while, since, well, I don't need to explain to you for the umpteenth time today. The thought of a hot, bubbly bath instantly made the corners of my mouth curl up with pleasure. Just thinking about having that time, all to moi—made me jump off the couch and run to the bathroom, not giving a shit in the world about anything else (well, not literally, but you know what I mean).

As I got stuff set up, I heard that annoying sound from earlier still persist as I turned the bath faucet off. Stomping my way to the couch, I marched over there and flipped over there ouch as I clawed for my phone, angrily flipping it open.

"What?" I hissed. "What do you want?"

"Well, someone sure isn't happy to be back. I'm sorry that my employee isn't getting into the groove of the city life yet."

With a stoic face, I shut up and looked up at the ceiling, thinking of how much fun fate, karma, God, any one of them must be having at watching my life. It's just one exciting thriller/romantic comedy.

"May I ask who this is?" I inquired, needing to hear the words for myself.

"Now, come on, Rukia. You haven't been out of the city for that long. Surely you'd at least remember what the voice of your Boss sounds like, right?"

And now I can shoot myself.

"Forgive me for not remembering the one time I actually made contact with my Boss, which over the phone, need I remind you."

"Ah, so you do remember."

"Yes, I do," I talked while walking over to the bath and getting in. "So, if you're calling, I can assume that you got Nel's message?"

"Actually, no, I just got into town myself. I was in Quebec dealing with some financial affairs. But that's besides that point, why did she need to tell me?"

"Hold on a sec," I set the phone down on the slab of marble for hand soap as I sank down in the warm water, trying to clear my head as thread-like black tentacles floated under the surface. The water was a little hot, but not to the point where it was boiling. Sitting there in the little riverbath tub, I was alone, like I wanted, but I was quickly starting to resent that.

"Hello?"

I stayed in for a moment more, not wanting to return so quickly to the present.

"Rukia, you there?"

"Yeah," I hollered as I dried my hands and face. "I'm here."

"So, what was it that you needed to tell me?"

"This is going to sound weird, so I apologize in advance, but I'm in no condition to work."

"And why is that?"

"Because I found my brother lying in his own pool of blood in a hospital room in which I was ten feet away from. I'm sorry, but I can't work, much less talk to people because of that experience. It hinders my every move, thought, and word."

He was quiet for a split second before speaking again. "I'm sorry to hear that. And I understand where you're coming from. You haven't done anything stupid because of it, right?"

"I've done some pretty stupid things in the past, so I don't think what I do now would quite measure up to those standards."

"Such as?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I snapped. "Sir."

"That's perfectly fine, just curious. So, will a month be enough time for you to work again?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you can't grieve forever. You and your brother must've been close, but you can't be stuck in the past. He would want you to look ahead to the future."

"You mean the one that I don't have?"

"Pardon me for saying this, but you've changed, Ms. Kuchiki. And quite a lot, from what I'm hearing so far."

"Well, pardon me, but sometimes change is needed to live. Now, I'm going to be blunt—my emotional state is capricious, to say in the least. I can not, and will not work until I think that I am stable, regardless if I make any money. I may be grieving, but I'm not stupid. I can survive on my own for a while."

"And will you get kicked out of that house too?"

My eyes blink twice and my lip slightly drops, puzzled as to how he found that out. "How did you-"

"Nel told me."

"So, you did get her message.."

"Indeed."

"So, you lied."

"Hmmm, yes."

"Why?" I shook my head.

"To test you. I don't trust people myself, so I'd like to hear the truth from them in another way. Hope you don't mind."

"Well, I do. Don't do it again."

"Someone's rather feisty. Do you recall exactly who you are talking to?"

"A liar. And a good one at that."

"Why, thank you," He chuckled. "But more importantly, I am your supervisor, and you are my employee. I won't tolerate your backtalk."

"Or what?"

"You don't wanna know."

"You'll kill me, is that right?"

Silence rang again, but this time, I was the one to break it. "I know about the jobs, Boss. Although you may try to hide it, the secret's already out. You hire assassins to kill people, and end their lives, just like that. Well, if you want mine, then you're more than welcome to take it, because honestly, I'm tired of this bullshit I'm putting up with. But first, you can fuck yourself, and then hire a hitman."

"You are just one-of-a-kind, aren't you? Talking back to your supervisor, who the hell do you think you are?" He growled.

"I am a confused, lost human being who doesn't know what the hell is going on in her life, or even if she's in control of it!" I yell, heaving for air. "I don't know anything. Maybe it's better not to know anything. But I've seen what it's like to live in the darkness, totally ignorant of what's really going around you, and lemme tell you, the truth is a hell of a lot better than a web of lies."

It took a moment for it to hit me what I had just said. To my supervisor. Well, what the hell, it's not like I was gonna be working anyway. I don't want to be in their little secret club anyway. Bunch of lunatics.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen carefully and don't interrupt," The man spoke in a serious tone, but it wasn't one of anger or rage, but one that was solemn instead. "You aren't normal. You don't need me to tell you that. You have a past haunting you. Most of us do. But it's your choice entirely what you're going to do with it. And acting like you have the world on your shoulders won't make people admire you, it just makes them go away from you since you're clearly radiating some kind of poison that seems to drive them away. Get over it. You are probably the most stubborn, uptight, most unbelievable woman I've met in my entire life."

I was speechless. I can't even tell you what I felt because I felt nothing.

"And," He added. "You're exasperating and vexatious. But you are one of the few people I've met who're actually human. So, being the human that you are, I'll help you get through this. After all, I do need you to get back to work as soon as possible."

"What the hell?" I spoke my thoughts out loud, and then covered up my mouth, but it was too late.

Instead of the yelling that I was expecting from the man, I heard laughter. As in, chuckles, guffaws, etc. I felt like I was in an extremely bizarre version of Inception, if that makes any sense.

"Rukia, I know you're struggling financially. As long as you're still kicking and screaming, you'll still work at TR. After all, you did sign the contract, did you not?"

"What contract?"

"The one my associate brought over to you. What was his name, Jeff, Drew?"

"John," I said, recalling the time I spent the night at his house.

"Yes, that's the one. Judging by the tone of your voice, you sound unsure. Are you saying you didn't actually sign it?"

I didn't even know myself if I sign the stupid papers. But I didn't want to get John in any trouble because of something I don't remember. "Yes, I did. It was just so long ago, it didn't come to me straight away."

"So, according to that contract, you'll have to work here until I see that you're no longer fit to do so."

"I don't recall reading that part of the contract."

"Maybe you need glasses. Actually, contacts would suit you better. But it says there in the fine print."

"Fine," I gave up. "I'll go to work. But someone will be there to help me learn the ropes, right?"

"Of course. Either or will lend a hand. Not too complicated, serving drinks. Which is why you'll also be in charge of another responsibility when you come over there tomorrow night. You do remember your schedule, right?"

"Not a chance."

"You are a handful. I can't always watch over you and help you out every time you need it, you know? The others would see that I favor you, and that's just our little secret?"

"What?" I gawk, not believing the words I just heard.

"Your conditions of the contract are that: you work at least six months, devise a new bar menu, and of course, we need to meet in person at least once. To be honest, I feel a bit odd talking to an employee who hasn't the slightest idea what I look like."

"And what abou-"

"Your working hours are Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 8 to 1, and Sunday from 7 'til midnight. And you will be in charge of cleaning the place too."

"Wait just a sec," I paused, trying to absorb all of this. "So, you expect me to work as soon as possible? As in, tonight?"

"Of course not. Next week, you'll begin. That should be enough time for you to readjust, right?"

"Yeah," I toy with the foam of the water and twirl it with my finger. "So, that's all you needed to talk to me about?"

"Pretty much. And don't forget about that dinner you stood me up on."

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling embarrassment flood my cheeks.

"That was one day when I was actually free, you know. Being a boss isn't quite as glamorous as it's advertised to be."

"Just call me whenever you're free then."

"Now, that I can work with. I'll see you soon."

The line went dead and I set the phone down on the marble rim of the bath as I rolled my shoulders and sunk into the water once more. I heard a vibration go off, and I open the phone, seeing a new email.

From: Hausler Funeral Services

Subj: Confirmation Payment E-mail for the Funeral of Byakuya Kuchiki

Message:

This is the confirmation email Mr. Kuchiki's service about the payment. Thank you for paying in full on such short notice. The service and locale according to your request:

Place: New Montefiore Cementary

Time: Sunday, December 20th, 2009, at noon

We over at Hausler Funeral Services are deeply sorry to hear your loss and hope that you and your family will recover from such a tragedy.

What in the world?

I quickly pick up my phone and try to call Boss back, but when I did, I was greeted by, "The number you have dialed is not in service at this time. Please hang up and dial again".

"Just who are you, Boss?"

"In the afternoon of the eighteenth of December, we had suffered a tragic loss."

"Tragic loss" is understating it.

"Departed through the hands of the devil, a friend very close to us was robbed of his life."

Devil, huh?

"Byakuya Kuchiki was a man that was as noble as he was kind. Loved by many, and mourned by many at this very moment. Will anyone care to say a few kind words about him?"

A couple of women with their makeup already ruined tried to act as if they were totally normal and talked about how great and noble and a bunch of bullshit they were obviously pulling from their fat asses.

One in particular really pissed me off. She wasn't like the others, but she was a hell of a lot more malicious. Skinny as a bone, high cheekbones, long legs, and thin blonde hair that was cut like the front lawn. I didn't know who she was, but there was a certain air about her that reeked of goldigger.

"That dead fucker better have put me in his will," She thought, and in .001 seconds, my scowl turned into a full-on death glare, demon eyes and all.

"Ease up," Renji whispered, squeezing my knee, and instantly making me lose my focus. "Giving a couple of people the death look won't make things any better."

I said nothing, but fidgeted with the jewel of my necklace and try to not throw my heel at that conniving bimbo standing across from me.

"Thank you, miss," The priest said as the woman stopped speaking and then looked to me. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't see you in the crowd of people. Your height hid your presence."

Fuck you.

"So then, won't you say a few words about your brother, miss?"

People turned their heads in my direction, eagerly awaiting my answer.

"Of course," I smiled as I took the priest's hand up while getting up from my seat, trying to get past the swarm of legs that blockaded my path to the altar. Swallowing my anxiety, I stole glances from my left and right, seeing some of my friends and many of my brother's friends and acquaintances (all of them which I hadn't met). I could feel the fabric of the black dress drag behind me on the soggy surface of the carpet of the aisle. We were outside, under a tent, in the pouring rain. The funeral home called to see if I would cancel the service, but I said it had to be today. I couldn't bear to think that his corpse would be rotting another day in the morgue.

It was a small, quiet crowd sitting in grey, fold-up chairs set up in two seas, with the black carpet separating them. I recognized Nel, Grimmjow, Renji, in the crowd, but that was pretty much it. I took my time walking on the aisle, trying to conjure something, anything to say about my brother, but there was interference from the selfish people surrounding me. Unfortunately, time ran out and I had no more carpet to walk on. Just an altar and the closed coffin of my dead brother.

I looked out to the crowd, but I felt awkward just staring at one fixed person. The horizon didn't help much either, since it seemed as if I really wasn't paying attention. I was standing in the rain. My hair, which Nel had to style since I didn't want to dress up for my brother's funeral, was starting to sag from the water pouring down. My makeup, which made me look elegant and poised, was now smearing as I let a tear roll down along with the raindrops. My dress, which Renji had to buy me, was now ruined because I didn't bother to pick it up as I walked down the aisle of Byakuya's funeral.

"Uhm," I began. "As you all know, Byakuya Kuchiki was my brother."

He had a sister? I had no idea.

They don't even look alike.

Stop standing there like an idiot.

"And he was loved by many people," I started again, trying to find some thread I could talk about. "Especially by me. He had done so much for me, and for other people too, without even giving a thought of consideration for his own sake at times. I looked up to him-"

I better be in his will. The guy was loaded.

I wonder who killed him.

God, get on with it.

Individual voices kept popping up in my head, all the more distracting from the words that I was about to say.

"And so did many others. He was-"

A monster.

A cheat.

A murderer.

"Enough!" I barked, instantly curling my lip. "You all are vultures! The only reason why you're here is to get in the will, you selfish excuses for human beings! My brother was worth more than money, something that you all will never understand! Just shut the fuck up!" I heaved, feeling my heartbeat racing and my blood pump through my veins.

That girl is madder than the Hatter.

"Excuse me," Renji said as he hastily got up and walked over to me, grabbing my arms. "I need to have a little chat with her. Father Brian, go on with the service."

I couldn't even think, that was how much I was panicking. I could see, but couldn't see what was right in front of me. I could hear Renji trying to calm me down, but I could also hear the buzz of how people thought I had lost my mind. My hands were shaking, my breathing was erratic and my heart would soon pound out of my chest if I didn't settle.

We walked some distance away from the tent and into the pouring rain of the park that we were in. He took off his jacket and covered me with it, but I didn't feel a damn thing. He and I were near his car, and unlocking it, we got in and had some shelter from the rain.

Renji just sat there next to me as I wheezed for air, clutching my knees to my chest as I buried my head in the pit of shame.

"I'm not going to ask any questions, or even why you flipped out then. You have a good reason for it," Renji muttered, but it really didn't sound as if he was being all that attentive. "Just take your time. I'll head back to the funeral to let people know that you're alright and that you're just having an anxiety attack. That a good enough excuse?"

I waved my hand as I remained the same. I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

"I'll be right back. Don't do anything stupid."

Shortly, Renji left the car and locked it as I sat there, in a curled up position, crying alone in a car. Ever since the hospital, I hadn't cried for Byakuya. I'd been bottling it up for almost a day. I didn't want to think the thoughts of being alone, having to try to live as if my brother's death was simply "a part of life", or even the thought of who killed him. That last one stuck with me for a while, since I really couldn't imagine anyone who'd want to kill him. But then again, he had a life too before he met me. He knew people that had never met me. Come to think of it, I think only a select few people had met the both of us. It made me wonder who Byakuya was when he wasn't around me.

You can't think like that, I thought. You knew who Byakuya was. He wasn't a lie.

Interrupting my thoughts was a knock on my window, in which I irritatedly shooed away.

"Go away!" I groaned with my head still in my lap.

After a moment, I was sure they'd stop, but no, there was another one, a bit harder this time.

"I told you to go away!" I growled as I raised my head to look at the window, only to see a man's chest and legs—he was too tall for me to see his head. He then bent down, and I just stared back at the face in front of me, orange hair and all.

He smiled subtly before looking to me and then the lock, pointing for me to unlock it.

"You're not a mute, you dumbass," I muttered as I opened the door, quickly wiping off the smeared makeup and tears off the side of my face.

"Well, you seemed deaf when you wouldn't respond to my first attempt," He stuck his hands in his side pockets while leaning against the side of the car. It was then that I noticed he was dressed up for the funeral. And was soaking wet from the rain.

"What are you doing here?" I asked cautiously as I sat on the edge of the seat as I took off and threw my heels in the back seat.

"Paying my respects."

"Why?"

"Aren't you the one who invited me anyway?" John looked at me, and I stared at the ground, twisting my hair to get the rain out of it.

"That was my friend. He arranged the funeral, not me."

"Was the part about you telling everybody to shut the fuck up arranged too? Because I really got a kick outta that one."

As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help but laugh. "You're going to catch a cold from standing in the rain, dumbass. Get in the car," I scooted over to the driver's seat.

"'Bout damn time you invited me in," He got in and closed the door behind him.

"Just what were you-"

Before I could finish my sentence, he shook his hair like a dog, getting tiny droplets of water all over the car.

"Stop that!" I squealed as I shielded my face.

"'Scuse me for drying my hair," He nagged, and I saw that his hair was entirely wet, and it looked like short-haired mop, more or less. There was a silence between us after that, and I was clueless as to what to say.

"You wanna talk about it?" The man offered.

"Hadn't you heard enough from earlier?"

"Not really. I want to hear it from the crazy lady herself."

"And if the crazy lady doesn't want to tell the story for the umpteenth time?"

"Then this crazy tramp can smoke his cigarettes until then."

"Be honest," I fidgeted with my necklace again. "You hate my guts, don't you?"

"For what?"

"For just up and leaving New York like that. Believe me, it wasn't planned-"

His shaking head cut me off, those eyes staring directly at me with a zen I could never achieve. "I am not mad at you for anything. While you were gone, I paid your brother a visit and asked him where you were, and he explained everything to me then. Told me not to tell anybody though, as he said it was strictly "family business". So, I didn't tell Nel and the others, like I promised him. Byakuya was a hell of a man, I'll give him that much."

"Yeah," I sighed through my nose. "He was."

"You got a place to stay at, right?"

"Technically, yeah."

"Whatcha mean by that?"

"That I'm living in Byakuya's house."

"Why?" He stared at me with a puzzled look. "Isn't that the last place you'd want to be?"

"Actually, this place is the one I despise the most. And some things popped up, so I thought moving to a new place would be better for me."

"Even if that new place is where your dead brother used to live?"

"What are you trying to say?" I narrowed my eyes at him slightly.

"I'm saying that there's got to be another reason other than that bullshit excuse as to why you're living there."

"John, don't be stubborn on today of all days," I looked out the window.

"I wouldn't be stubborn if you just told me what's going on in your life. Blocking me out isn't really giving me any access to how you are, you know. How am I supposed to talk, much less connect with you if you keep shutting people out?"

"Since you know everything, then tell me what to do then, because you have made it crystal clear that I am incapable of any human emotions whatsoever, and that I can't even-"

"Shut the hell up," The man firmly said as he climbed into the back seat, looking for something. "You need to stop talking. It makes you erratic."

"Just what are you doing?" I look back.

"See, there you go," He motioned his hand towards me. "That curiosity ain't gonna do you much justice."

"So, am I just supposed to shut up?"

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

And shut up I did. Well, at least he wasn't interrogating me and asking just exactly what I was doing on my time away. There's enough crazy people in my life.

"Dammit, where does he keep it?" John muttered as he searched under the seats and even the cushions of the car.

"What are you looking fo-"

"Ashhhh!"

"Hmph," I rolled my eyes and settled back into my seat.

"Found it. You can talk now."

I turned around and saw John laid out on the backseats, his legs having to be bent since he was too tall, and a blanket next to him. "Just what the hell are you doing?"

"Well, I figured you weren't in the mood for a date, and a funeral really drags shit down, so I improv'd. And yes, this was the best I could do on short notice. Unless you want to have kinky backseat car sex, but I don't think you'd be up to it."

I just stared at him. Blank=my face. Actually, it was more of a "unimpressed" look, but blank all the same.

Without saying a word, I climbed in the back, seeing him instantly sit up with a shocked look on his face. "What the hell are you doing? I didn't think you'd actually agree!"

"Scoot over," I mumbled emotionlessly as I sat next to him.

"You really aren't okay, are you?"

"Nope," I shook my head. "I'm a step away from being mentally insane."

"In that case, you get a free membership for the club."

"Ha-ha," I muttered. He then sprawled out on the cushions, making me get up. He went back to that original position I saw him in originally.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" John raised his eyebrows.

"How can I when your legs take up all the space?"

"If you really want to lie down," He sighed overdramatically. "Then you'll have to settle for me."

"I think we might be able to work something out," I giggled as I swung one leg over him and the other to the side. Giving him an interested look, I asked, "Just so you know, no kinky car sex."

"Ah, I figured as much," He shrugged. "But you considered it."

"I did not."

"You sure did. I saw that look in your eyes. You're a huge pervert, aren't you?"

"You're the pervert for even suggesting it!"

"Guilty as charged. Now, get your ass over here," The amber-haired man growled playfully as he quickly sat up and dragged me down with him so that I was lying beside his body. So, we were spooning in a car that didn't belong to us, but I didn't care. He had managed to, even if only for a while, make me forget about all the shitty stuff going on in my life. Corny as hell, but so true.

I felt his breath trickle against the back of my neck and a hand mess around with my long hair while the other held me by the waist so I wouldn't fall off the seat. This kinda closure was what I needed, like Renji said. But I wasn't sure if this guy was going to go all the way down to hell with me. Out of insecurity, I held onto the arm that was holding onto me while the other hand was still toying with the necklace. I felt two light squeezes on my hand.

I turned my head slightly to look back at him, who was giving me this "at peace" glance. "Thank you," I smiled, genuinely this time. "I kinda sorta missed you. Kinda."

Grinning, he lowered his head to kiss me. I turned around to wrap my arms around his neck while he held me by the waist, our lips only breaking apart for air. That moment was probably the one thing that made me forget everything. His touch, his smell, even the way he held me was enough for me to get a high off of him.

We broke, but his eyes were still on me. "Yeah, I kinda sorta missed you too."

A/N: D'awww, IchiRuki all the friggin' way:] More of them to come shortly. And yes, I am writing chapters rather quickly. Whassup wit dat? I dunno. I eagerly wanted to get this chapter over with. it's SO fucking depressing, like dayyyuuuuummmm. DERP.