Chapter : 'Green eyed monster leaves me in despair'
Klaus had instructed her against over thinking, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. This specific diary was filled with her sorrow of when he left. He had left and didn't check in with her once in all that while.
Her diary entries from that year showed that it might just be the worst thing she went through, it sounded worst than her panic attacks. She felt a feeling of fear. Maybe she just forgave him the second he came back, maybe it didn't matter, that emotional torture she wrote about, the moment he came back to her but now that she thinks of it, it did matter. He thought he could just leave and come back whenever he wants.
Her over thinking session got interrupted as she heard the doorbell. It must be him. Her husband.
She was uncertain about him again. It started to frustrate her. She opened the door for him. Like expected it was him smiling wide. "I forgot my keys at home and I never knew this thing still works." He pointed towards the bell. He got ahead and wrapped his arms around her, "It's been what? Nine hours? And I couldn't wait to get home and see you."
How ironic.
She kept her cool, she was studying his every move now. He parted from her cupping her face, "So what are we frowning about today." He said amused by her slightly pouty expression.
She shook her head, "Nothing, uh, I wanted to talk to you about something."
He closed the door after them, "I got that figured already. Okay what's up, wifey?"
That nick name. She sighed. "I want to talk to my parents."
His face looked like he didn't expect this of all the things. He stayed quiet looking at her for a moment or two, trying to figure out what was going in her mind.
He shrugged with a defeated sigh, "Go ahead. Tell me if they do though."
He turned to go towards their bedroom. She went after him, "So you don't have a problem right?"
"I never had one but I don't think they would talk to you." He said showing he's unaffected.
She wanted to prove him wrong but she knew from his confidence that he was right. That's when it hit her. She's alone.
She didn't realize, when he made her sit and sat on his knees in front of her holding her hands, "I'll take you to Mystic, we'll tell them what happened maybe they would want to-,"
She shook her head, "So they don't talk to us at all?"
He shook his head, "I tried my best, you know, I am the problem here. They hate me," He looked vulnerable for a second.
Her lips parted, "No way Damon, don't say that."
"It is the truth; I am sure that if it were Stefan maybe they'd-,"
She interrupted him, "But it's not Stefan that I want. Its you." She cupped his face, "Memory or not, I love you, nothings ever going to change that."
He smiled, "I hope it never does Elena, you're all that matters to me. Without you, I'll die,"
She leaned in but before she'd kiss him he moved slightly back, "I have to go and change."
She held his wrist, "Really? Damon stop pulling away from me."
"I just want to wait until all of it comes back." He referenced to her memory loss.
"What if it never does? We can't just live like two strangers." She tried to convince him, "Don't you want me?"
He shook his head, "That's –,"
"Tell me." She urged.
"That's not a question. You know how much I want you, it's almost painful to the point that-, but I can't give in this easy baby. I know how this will go down. It will end up in you being unsure and confused, maybe upset, I won't be able to forgive myself. I just want you to trust me completely before we take another step." He said softly.
The way he said it, it seemed very important, but she wasn't having it today. "The other day when I told you I love you, you seemed very-,"
"That was different." He said instantly, "That was an instant wave of happiness." He added dramatically.
She rolled her eyes, "I think I am ready for this."
"No you're not." He said playfully and got up, going towards the bathroom. When he came back she was on the bed, a little angry maybe. He also sat on his side, "Come on Elena. Its not like I am being selfish."
She nodded, "Yeah I know, what did she do that I don't?
He narrowed his eyes, "Who?"
"Me, the pre memory loss me, I have flashes, you wanted her all the time, you couldn't keep your hands off her, you love her and not me." She said almost quietly
He dragged himself to her side, "I've never seen someone jealous of their own self, uh, I can call it crazy or narcissistic."
She looked at him when he cupped her face, "I am neither, you know the problem here, don't act so oblivious."
He rolled his eyes, "Ha, I forget that you're mentally a teenager."
She glared at him, "Doctor Damon Salvatore please don't test my patience."
He smirked, "It does turn me on when you address me like that."
She smacked his chest politely, "I cleaned the attic today, I found some things, a diary, you went away for a while."
He nodded holding her hand, he held it up to his lips and kissed her palm, "I remember, oh, those days when I had to stay away from you, Elena, I was so lost, only when I came back to you I felt like I could breathe then. All the years in college, that I wasn't with you, it made me realize that you weren't just some girl, you are the love of my life." He kissed her fingertips which made her heart warm. She smiled at him.
"So I took you back when you came home?" She asked curious.
He narrowed his eyes, "How come you always leave out the part where I am tortured."
"What is that suppose to mean?" She chuckled.
"You literally made me beg. You were with that dickhead." He seethed in the end. He was so jealous at the mere memory of it.
"Who?"
"Let's change the topic, moral of the story is you made me sorry with my ass backwards so that counts." He huffed.
She finally turned to him and wrapped his arms around herself, he unlike most times welcomed the gesture, she rested her head on his shoulder, "So Mama told me we were trying to get pregnant."
He suddenly blushed, "Yeah, is that a pimple?" He tried to change the topic.
She looked up at him, "Damon, please. Tell me."
He waited more than a minute before sighing, "Yes we were, it's off the table now."
"I know since you flinch at the thought of it."
"Hey, hey I don't, I resist a very hot wife on a daily basis, it's just for the best now." He said and kissed her temple, "It gets very hard seeing how willing and adorable this little piece of confused candy is, but I know better than to give into your timely mood." He said peppering kisses on her cheeks.
She chuckled and cupped his face, "Well then you better stop walking around half naked in the morning."
He gasped, "You are vile."
She laughed "No I am not."
He too laughed at her expression. She breathed deep after giggles "Damon?"
"Huh?"
"Do you love me? Me as in now me, not what I use to be. If she's gone forever would you let that go?" she said now focusing on his answer.
He grinned, "You're the same person Elena."
"I don't want to hear that, just tell me you love me, the now me." She almost pleaded, her grip on his jaw tightened.
"I love you Elena, the now you, I love you more than I did yesterday, more than I did last month, last year." He said in a voice above whisper.
She gulped, "If I never get it back-,"
"I don't care." He said and leaned down to capture her lips, she moaned against his mouth, feeling his warm hands press her body to him, that's what she wanted. She felt his tongue roll over her lips, she parted them slightly letting him devour her completely, he knew where this was heading. He started to think, this was right, he tricked himself, she was his wife, she told him she loved him. What's more to ask for? He slightly parted from her lips, her hazy eyes looked at him with need, Elena wasn't having any second thoughts, he told himself. Before she'd lean in again he held her by her shoulders, "Baby okay we need to talk to your psychiatrist about this."
"We are not talking to your ex best friend about our sex life." She said clearly frustrated.
"Elena please. He's a professional."
"Damon that's enough, this can't be unhealthy, I want this. I know we use to do this way too many times now don't push me." She almost seethed.
He cupped her face, "We'll take a couple's session tomorrow. If the doctor gives a green signal, baby we go at it."
She looked like she was somewhat convinced, 'What if he says no?"
He nodded, "We can follow his instructions, we'll do whatever, but we will work on this, without screwing up." He assured her.
She sighed "okay I guess." She wrapped her arms around him.
He stroked her hair, "I am just being extra cautious, because I love you."
"I know. I love you too." She said and pecked him on the cheek.
"Now, would you tell me about our story,"
..
..
PAST
Lately her parents had been very mad at her for not letting them know about her accident at the camp. She was mostly at home when not in school. Like Enzo had predicted, she was seeing no friends lately. Sometimes she'd think, this wasn't the way to be treated for her paranoia and panic attacks, she was more reserved to herself and alone. She missed camp. She missed hanging out with her friends and most importantly, her new friends. Damon and Enzo.
She couldn't leave that out.
It had been almost a week since she saw any of Damon's bad boy bossy group. Not even at school. Stefan said that he had warned off Enzo. He didn't like him hanging out with his best friend. Like he quoted he is the worst person and the best actor around and all his sweet side towards Elena is just a big fat lie to get sex.
She didn't dare tell anything about Damon to Stefan. Mainly because If Damon cared he'd approach her. But he didn't so guess they were back to strangers. She thought. She would certainly miss the attention from both of them. But like Stefan said, it's problematic.
Caroline was helping her complete her physics model when she started the topic, "I am just waiting till I get on my own feet properly, then maybe I'll start going out again."
"I don't remember you going around much before Camp Elena, forget it, you know your folks." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah whatever, they are not that extreme."
"Think that again, I don't even think they'd let you take a date to prom, they're old fashioned." She said with a sigh.
Even though prom was far away she still had that question in her head stuck now, "So who do you want to go with?" She asked trying to act as vague as possible.
"I-uh-I don't know, sometimes I think Matt, but I really like someone now, it's kind of scandalous." She almost giggled.
"Really? Who?" Elena asked with a mischievous grin.
"It's really crazy, no one really likes him that much but I – I can't help it."
Elena narrowed her eyes, it was like she was speaking to her own self. "You can tell me Care."
"I know I can, it's silly but you remember Da-,"
"Girls." They both quickly went silent as Miranda entered, "Stefan is here to pick you Caroline."
She pursed her lips, "Uh just a second." She gathered her stuff.
Miranda let the door open, "He's downstairs, I am in the laundry room if you need me Lena baby."
She nodded "It's okay Mom." She heard a group of voices from downstairs.
"Her father is not home because that ridiculous Austin healed wasn't parked." Of course she knew that voice and sarcastic tone
"Damon, Mrs. Gilbert will hear you!"
"Do I look like I care."
She tried to get up "Care, uh, I want to meet Stefan, help me down will you?"
Caroline nodded "Sure Lena, hold on."
She helped her up and took her downstairs. Caroline threw her bag at Stefan "Here grab my stuff."
She felt like the strength in her already weak body left her. She was excited on seeing him? What was wrong with her?
Stefan helped her sit on the couch, "You didn't have to come all the way here."
"I am fine now. I have to walk at some point." She was noticing that her arrival had put an end to Damon's sarcastic commentary on her house decorations. He was looking at her intently. As if he didn't know what to say.
"How are you?" He asked in the middle of Stefan and Elena's conversation, completely unaware they were talking because all he could see was her, all he could think was her.
She gave a little smile, "I am doing good. What brings you here?" she couldn't refrain herself from asking.
Stefan sighed, "I was going to pick Care from here, I don't know how but the next thing I know I was out of fuel, so Damon suggested that he'd drive me here."
She smiled "That's sweet of him."
She saw him blush as if she had caught him stealing candy. He acted cool, "Well It's no big deal. Brothers and all,"
Caroline coughed, "So. Uh shouldn't we go; I am getting late."
Stefan got up from the couch, "Okay I'll see you tomorrow then and hey if it's that issue again, just call me."
She smiled giving him a little hug, "Thank you, Stef."
From the corner of her eye, she could see him pouting almost. She got up, "I'll leave you guys to the door."
"You don't need to, you'll trip." He said instantly, getting forward to help her, she raised her hand as if telling him to stop, "No my legs are getting better, the doctor says I should move around to exercise them every now and then."
"You're exhausting yourself." He said almost worried.
"I am fine, jeez what's got into you." She chuckled. He didn't look amused.
She left them to the door. While Stefan and Care got out he still was on the door, "I want to talk to you."
"School."
"Not school."
"Okay we'll talk about this later." She whispered.
"Not later, I'll find a way, you take care of that leg of yours." He looked at the bandage, "You got it changed right."
"I did." She said looking down.
He suddenly leant forward and pecked her on her lips, "Good, see you." He rushed out, she was way too surprised before she replayed his words in her head "See you?"
..
..
This was the reason she was positively anxious at school today. She knew well that Damon won't come when Stefan and Caroline were around, even if his life depended on it. He'd too much pride in him to admit that he liked her. Back in the camp he told her several times that Stefan and him, even though were brothers, as the world like to say, but he didn't consider himself a part of his family. And liking Stefan's friend was beyond him. Stefan liked to think otherwise. Stefan and Caroline were stuck by her sides all the time, at this rate her minimally scandalous and filled with excitement 'thing' with her former enemy, hot enemy, was going nowhere.
Finally after multiple attempts of telling them that she can walk fine now, almost, she got rid of both of them saying they needed to live their life and were not her crutches, Caroline had to submit her project as well, Elena was left to her own supervision and she expected that if the "boy" had been keeping close eye, he would eventually find her. She was not going to stomp on her pride and go after him. At one point she gave up, when it was almost time to go home and she was setting some un-needed stationary in her locker, she saw him at the extreme end of the hall way. It did look like he had been looking for her, to her he looked dark and predatory, right now, more exciting. She didn't miss when he lightly gestured with her eyes for her to get done and follow him.
She closed up her locker and held on to her crutch for her sprained leg. She slowly moved towards him with her bag on her other arm. A sudden bang took her off guard and she squealed, there was confetti all around. What was going on? Before she could blink, she saw Enzo, that too with a guitar. Playing, "I want you, I need you" By Elvis, he was almost singing along but everyone started cheering. Klaus was holding up a poster (he had a poker face) the poster had the word "Date?" written on it in big bold writing. He handed her a rose sitting on his knees in front of her, she gasped looking around, "Enzo you'll get in trouble, it's the school hall?"
"I don't care." He shrugged.
She didn't know what to do.
"Come on gorgeous, yes or no?" he asked with hope.
She didn't know why she was blushing, no one had ever done something this embarrassingly romantic for her.
Everyone had crowded, she was almost begging him now, "Please get up Enzo, everyone is watching." She said whispering although the guitar sound totally muffled.
It looked like Enzo had been waiting for Stefan and Caroline to lose her for a minute so he can jump in with all this, Klaus looked like he was paid heavy for holding that sign but she did catch him saying once or twice, "Come on Elena, he's got it bad for you."
"Elena I don't care if anyone's watching. Everyone should know that I am totally head over heels-," Enzo was shouting it to everyone at this point, she shut his mouth by pushing her wrist against it, "Please Enzo!" although this was crazy she was laughing and blushing, mostly because she was embarrassed.
He held her hand parting it from his mouth, now talking slowly so only she'd hear, "I know I haven't given you a reason in the past, I know everyone here says I am never serious with anyone, but Elena give me an honest chance, I really care about you, we can take it slow, we'll do everything you want, just give me one date." He pointed at the prop Klaus was holding.
She sighed looking around, every catty girl looked jealous, Enzo was rich, classy, bad boy every girl secretly wanted and he was going cheesy bonkers for her?
"Okay. God you're such a drama!" She ruffled his hair by running her hands in it. He got up and picked her up in air, she squealed "Stop Enzo! No!"
..
..
Stefan and Caroline were at the boarding house when Damon got there after his jealousy charged long drive where at points he almost killed himself with his reckless driving. He knew they were talking about Elena by the way he was worried yet angry at her.
"She think she can change him doesn't she? She's so fricking stupid. Good girl changes bad boy, huh, pathetic," He said running a hand through his hair, "Is Enzo really the last person on planet? I never thought she'd turn that desperate for a boyfriend. Dumb brood." He ranted.
"Stefan come on, Enzo is really being nice to her, it's not her fault. He appears decent for once."
Damon entered, "He's not! He'll show his filthy character the first chance he gets!"
Caroline's mouth dropped at Damon's rage. Why was he so angry?
"You couldn't take care of her? I told you to not let Enzo near her." He almost barked at Stefan.
Stefan shrugged, "I really tried Damon, I told Elena everything you told me about Enzo, she just, I don't know- like him."
Caroline saw his face scrunched up, "Why do you care?" she asked in a low voice.
Stefan give her the 'don't question my brother look'.
Damon looked like he had got caught stealing. "What? This is what I get for helping your little lame friend? Fine, I am happy for Enzo whatever, I am not helping you guys with your third musketeer so move on." He snapped rudely.
Stefan shook his head, "No Damon please don't mind her, she has an investigative nerve in her. We do appreciate and need your help. I know you mean it when you say he's not good for her." He turned to Caroline, "He cares because you guys are my friends, isn't that enough explanation?"
Caroline pursed her lips, "yeah, I guess, I am sorry." She looked at him with a warm expression but he showed no emotion, "Don't worry I will make sure it doesn't happen, when is this date." He flinched at the word.
"it's Friday night." Caroline said instantly.
"Tomorrow. Hmm." he smirked going towards his room now.
..
..
Klaus was downing his drink in their booth while Enzo was showing him various date spots he had picked out.
"You are excited like a 14-year-old virgin." He said rolling his eyes.
"Well because Elena doesn't like anything the other ones used to, she said no clubs, no alcohol, no dark places-,"
Klaus groaned, "Let me remind you that I have a dick, and people with one of those, unlike you, don't care about that stuff, just take her to a movie."
"No way, a movie is too basic, I won't be able to talk to her, I want her to know me better, so we can connect." He said nervously.
Klaus picked up the napkins stuffing it into his ears, "Please shut up! Please, take that little girl to the carnival you perv!"
Enzo grinned wide, "Oh my god you're a genius, just think, we can talk, we can enjoy ourselves, I can even win her a Paddington bear."
"Arch please someone kill me!" Klaus said exhausted.
Before Enzo could say something in his defense, Damon appeared near their booth, and slipped in on one of the seats. "Hello wannabe serial killers what's up!" He sounded amused and cheery.
This was the first time Enzo and Klaus had seen him in such a mood since the camp accident.
"Look who's back from the dead." Klaus commented.
He shrugged, "What's with the maps and–," He picked up the Mystic Falls tour book Enzo had kept on the table, "Are you volunteering for boy scout?"
Klaus snickered, "Nope he's getting his dick chopped by Darling Gilbert."
Damon and Klaus laughed together. Enzo was a little surprised to not see Damon being 'over-protective' over her.
He grinned, "Yeah laugh all you want, at least I am making an effort."
Damon added, "For sex? I haven't see you try this hard on something, the last time you did that was when you failed math in sixth grade."
Enzo rolled his eyes, "I am not doing it for sex, I just–,"
Klaus groaned "If he starts talking about her again, I am going to barf."
"You guys don't understand, Elena is not like anyone I've met, she's kind and innocent and full of love and forgiveness. I just want to talk to her all the time. Sometimes I think I am in love with her." He said raking a hand on his neck.
Damon sighed, "Oh Enzo, my dear friend. A moment of silence for my friend who's going to get his little manwhore heart broken." He raised his glass dramatically.
Enzo narrowed his eyes, "Why? You gave up already, I am not letting her go, ever." He said pretty serious.
Damon looked at Klaus, then chuckled.
"What?" Enzo said looking at their faces.
"You can have her, I am done." Damon said in a detached tone.
"What does that mean?" Enzo said a little infuriated, "Don't play games Damon, just tell me what's up? You were hell bent on getting her, how did you let her go this easy."
"Because she gave me what I wanted." He shrugged. Klaus was looking side to side between them ready to run if they turn this place into a battlefield over Elena, like they did every time.
"What did you do? You're fucking with me! Elena would never-,"
"She slept with me. Over and over again. We fucked like bunnies." Damon said, letting his words slice Enzo.
Enzo got ahead but Damon stayed back, "What do you expect? You want me to lie to you, I use to see her crawling up to little Stefie all the time, and she didn't pull away from me either. Face it Enzo, Elena and I spend hell a lot of time at camp together, I got a little into it, but now, if you want her, she's all yours my dear best friend."
Enzo was shaking his head, "You're lying, Elena… she… Klaus, he didn't right?"
Klaus bit his lip, "Was it the Bar-B-Que night?"
Damon stood up, "My work here is done, I had to break your Elena is an angel bubble, which is done. She's a whore like everyone else. Have my leftovers, I don't care."
Enzo too got up, "I can't believe this, she – I thought I was in love with her and she was rolling around with him."
Damon smirked seeing his plan work.
Klaus too stood up, "But your date, Enzo-,"
"What? After all this- excuse me." He said almost pushing all the stuff from the table on the floor and leaving, Klaus followed him.
..
..
She had been waiting for hours now, it was awkward that she didn't see him at school either, it was her first time going out, Caroline had helped her shop and get ready, she was wearing a dark red bodycon dress with a check skater shirt with converse shoes, and a little white cardigan, her hair in chocolate waves.
She finally got up when she heard the bell, she had already told her mother that she was going on a group party so that was out of the way and Grayson was at the hospital so it was convenient, she was walking well without a crutch but had to still drag her foot a little. When she opened the door, all the complains she had riled up died in her mouth as she saw Damon.
"What are you-,"
"He isn't coming." Damon leaned against the door frame.
"What? But why?" she felt offended.
"Was her name Sarah or Heather?" he looked elsewhere. She got the hint, "What? He ditched me for someone else. "
He nodded, "Now I know, you're all ready and giddy for a date with that asshole, but uh – I wouldn't mind taking you out."
She bit her lip, 'I don't know, it's okay you don't have to."
"But I want to." He said cocking his head to a side, "I'll forgive you for completely ignoring me on Tuesday."
Then she remembered, when he stood at the end of the hall way for her. "Oh. Umm I am so sorry Damon."
"You can say sorry on our way."
She looked back, "We'll be back by 9 right?"
"Absolutely." He said offering his hand to her, she smiled giving her hand in his as he led her to his car.
..
..
He handed her the cotton candy stick, she took it with a giggle as he paid for it, "What?" he asked as she kept on laughing.
"You in town carnival, never thought that would happen." She giggled more.
Somehow he found it cute that she was laughing genuinely, he pretended to be annoyed, "I didn't remember being banned."
She shrugged, "I just don't know why someone like you, would do something so out of their preference sphere for me."
He shrugged as they walked down the path, he had asked Klaus if the idea was okay way before Enzo planned his proposal even, way to go for him to give that idea to Enzo.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked
"Because it's you, and then it's me." She said in a matter-of-factly voice.
"You're saying no one can drop from their comfort zone because of you, that's not true, because you are absolutely worth the effort." He said surprising her.
She blushed, "really?"
He nodded, "You don't look at it, the way I do, the way everyone does."
"At what?" she asked
"At yourself, I-I mean you don't appreciate yourself enough." He smiled a little.
They sat on the Ferris wheel on her continuous request. When it started going a little up, she noticed him getting a little closer, she blushed, maybe this wasn't a bad idea after all. Here comes her fairy tale Ferris wheel top kiss, she looked down at the hem of her shirt waiting for him to say something. That's when she heard him hiccup, she looked up at him, he was eating as much cotton candy he could to avoid them but they'd happen. Also his hand was clutching the seat. She gasped, "Ahh, you are scared of heights."
"No I am not." He said swallowing most of cotton candy.
He looked very cute with his defensive voice and his brave act. She gave him a little push and he almost screamed, "DON'T DO THAT!"
She laughed, "Oh my God you're scared of heights! I should have known." She held his hand "It's okay Damon I am right here."
"Okay I get a little paranoid when I see heights." When they reached the top she saw him close his eyes, he breathed deep. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. He opened his eyes now, keeping his blush back. When the ride ended, she held his arm, "Let's do that again!"
"The kiss. fine, the ride, hell no." he got up and she followed him out laughing.
He was giving his explanations, "Look height phobia is an actual thing, it's not girly."
She teased, "I am going to tell Stefan."
"I swear you do and I'll- ,"
"you'll what?" she stood in front of him with a proud grin.
Before he could reply, she looked towards right, where loud carnival music was playing, "Let's dance."
"Wait can you? your leg isn't that well."
"We can slow dance." She whined. He didn't mind that. She took him to the crowd and came closer in his arms, he moved her slowly by keeping his hand on her back, he tried to avoid the crowd there as it could hurt her.
She was looking at him intently, "So what is that you were going to say that day."
He shrugged, "You'll have to wait till I get done on my guitar lessons."
She giggled, "Stop being a jerk, just say it."
"say what?"
"Whatever you wanted to say." She added with a sigh.
"It's as clear as glass Elena." He gave her a little spin then pulled her closer, "I like you, I want to take you out more."
"and-," she grinned.
"And get the permission to be able to call you cheesy names, kiss you whenever I want, be other than Stefan's big brother to you." He added like a robot.
She remained quiet with a grin on her face.
"So what do you say?"
"What will Stefan and Caroline-,"
He interrupted, "They'll adjust, right now all I want is your answer and I want it to be yes."
She stopped moving with him and walked away, he went after her as she went towards the lake and sat there, he stood there, she looked at him and gestured him to sit near her, when he did, she held his hand, he moved back and pulled her into his arms, she rested against his chest, letting his arms go around her waist.
"This reminds of camp when you use to take me outside at night." She said in a whisper.
"The lake, you like this, you know the way back from Wickery bridge, there are some hills on the right side, and if you climb them-,"
"There is a waterfall at the back." She completed, "You go there too?"
"Yeah, sometimes, it's the only place which makes me calm in the whole damn Mystic, you know about that."
She nodded, "Yes, I go there, oh all this time I thought I was the one who discovered it."
"When did you?"
"I was 11 when I did." She admitted, "I use to race down there in my bicycle."
"I go there whenever you know, I am upset, when just the family thing bugs me." He sighed.
She looked at him, "I go there when I am stressed, panic attacks terrorize my lifestyle but the water fall, an hour there makes it all okay, well bearable."
She rests her head against his shoulder "This is overwhelming."
"What?"
"You know, how for years we didn't like each other and now, what do I do to myself Damon? It shouldn't be on my mind all the time but it is, I want to tell you everything about me. I want to know everything about you but I am scared, what if it's all just in my head, what if I get hurt? I don't want this to be over but I am scared it'll fade away once I reach for it." She said in a low voice.
"Trust me Elena." He said very seriously, "I know what you mean, it's exactly the way I feel, I know I am supposed to be tough but I don't want any of the hurt or disappointment ahead too, but I am going to risk this vulnerability if it means we can be together." He confessed.
She looked back at him again and leaned forward, "I am glad I didn't come with-you know who."
"Oh yeah?" he grinned.
She nodded, "I was kind of counting on you kissing me on top of the wheel there."
"What? I was allowed?" he was baffled.
She nodded.
He threw away a stone into the lake "Shit!"
She giggled holding his arm, "You're a clown you know that." She pulled him closer to her and cupped his face "Kiss me you fool."
She straddled him and kissed him, he kissed her back gently savoring the moment, he cupped when side of her face and his other hand when in through her wavy locks like he wanted to touch them all night, she moaned when she felt his tongue roll over her lips, she gladly allowed him an entry, her heart was racing so fast like she'd pass out any moment.
He knew they should take a break to let their selves breathe but when he parted from her he couldn't resist her, her eyes were hazy, he pecked her mouth down to her chin, she chuckled as he kissed behind her ear and sucked on her earlobe, then kissed a trail down her neck to her collar bone, she gently pushed him, "Damon, stop- ah."
He pecked her lips one last time, "So we're good right?"
"Ummhmm." She blushed
..
..
When he stopped the car near her home, she made no move to go, "So I had a very good time."
"I hope."
She leaned forward and kissed his cheek "Thank you."
He couldn't keep his blushed smile back. "Your parents don't let you out on weekends either right?" he had heard Stefan complain shit load of times.
"Ah Yeah."
"Well it sucks." He huffed, "Don't worry I'll find a way though. You take care of that leg."
She rolled her eyes, "okay mom." He pulled on her chin and kissed her again "I'll see you soon." He said against her lips.
"I hope." She smiled when he moved back "You like the waterfall right?"
"I do." She said as she got out. "Bye."
She waved her hand, he watched her get into her house and then drove away.
..
..
She couldn't keep this secret from Caroline, she wanted to tell her first thing at school today. People were giving her weird eyes. Or maybe she felt like it. She wanted to see Damon, he had called last night and usually her mom used to sleep in her room due to her panic attacks, she had to tell her she was fine, almost beg her to not sleep in and that she was trying to be strong. She remembered talking to him so much that she slept on call.
She blushed remembering all of his cute confessions, his sweet stories, some secrets.
She saw Stefan near the fountain and walked towards him, "Hey Stefie, have you seen Damon around?" Damon's sarcastic nick name for Stefan was on her tongue now, damn!
"Elena I am so sorry – I don't, I "he was out of breath.
"What happened? hey are you okay?"
Caroline showed up from behind her handing her a poster "This is everywhere Lena."
She opened up the crumpled paper and her eyes widened in horror. The poster had her pictures with Damon from the carnival, her kissing him, a few pictures with Stefan, where she was hugging him, the poster read, "The Salvatore's Slut."
She felt tears sting her eyes "What is this? Who did this?"
"April and her friends." Caroline seethed "Enzo's little whore fan club that's who."
"B-but why?" she stammered.
Stefan tried to hold her from falling, "Enzo was tensed about you not going on a date with him."
"He ditched me!" she spat
"He was at the bar, drunk, telling people about Damon and you, his girls got all jealous, he never got it that bad for anyone." Stefan took the poster from her hands, "I know this isn't you I mean it does look-, "he commented at the blurry pictures.
"It's me but I, it's all painted wrong."
Caroline snapped, "What? This is you!"
She blushed as Caroline and Stefan were looking at her confused, "I was going to tell you guys."
Caroline sighed, "Elena you got tossed between Damon and Enzo."
"No uh Damon likes me – we-,"she looked at Stefan, who was struck with shock, "I got to go show this to him."
When she started looking around for him with the poster balled in her fist, she started hearing whispers about how she had slept with both Damon and Stefan, they had some controversial threesome relationship.
"Where's Damon?" she asked Anna who was a very shy girl.
"I saw him in the P.E lockers with Enzo."
She rushed their and from a corridor away she could hear the voices
"I didn't do it!" Enzo was shouting
"But you fessed it up-, "she could hear Damon.
"What does it even matter to you!" Enzo growled
She ran towards the gym locker room and saw them shouting at each other. When they saw her they fell quiet.
She stood in between them, "Enzo what is this?" she threw the poster at him, she didn't know she was crying her voice was cracking up "Why? You were the one who didn't show up!"
Enzo frowned, "I didn't do it Elena, some girls-,"
"But you told everyone lies about me and Damon. Why would you spread such vulgar lies about me!" she held his collar shouting at him, she felt Damon's hands on her back, "Elena, let's go, I'll get them off."
"Don't you know I have a reputation! How will I ever fix this? What if my parents found out, everyone is calling me a Salvatore whore!" She shouted.
"I didn't spread any lies, I was drunk I admit, I said things I shouldn't have, but I didn't spread any lies." He groaned.
"What are you trying to say?" She shouted
"Lets go Lena." She heard Damon behind her but she didn't care.
"So isn't it all true Elena, that you are Stefan and Damon's little girlfriend." She felt like she'd vomit.
"What?"
"Isn't it true that you slept with Damon in Camp, fucked him over and over and Stefan all these years because that's what Damon says."
She shook her head; Enzo had officially lost his mind. "Enzo stop spitting shit!"
"Ask Damon if you think I am lying, he told me this, he said that you're a whore, I know all your threesome siesta with these-,"
She turned to Damon, "Why are you not saying anything? You didn't say all that right?" she asked unbelievably with tears in her eyes she got ahead clutching his collar to make him look at her, "You didn't say that right?"
He couldn't form words, ashamed, "Elena I."
"Yes or no!" She screamed
"Yes." He said pursing his lips.
She felt like she couldn't breathe, this was the worst he had done to her. She felt like a big joke because she had shared so much with him in these few days. She backed away, shocked.
"Elena look I know I made a mistake, I am going to fix this, it was just because I-I, I couldn't see you with Enzo anymore."
"How could you? Even after everything you ever did to me, I let myself fall for you, trust you."
"Elena I really wanted you all to myself, it got out of control, I didn't mean anything, I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you did hurt me!" she shouted.
"Elena I promise it was because I liked you way too much it got out of hand-,"
"You know what was better than this? When you hated me, at least I use to know what was coming, but I didn't see this coming. You were supposed to be my friend. I didn't, I can't believe I opened up to you." She backed away, "Everyone's right about you, you didn't deserve it, any of it, I wish I could turn back time and never meet you. "she shouted running out of the locker's room, Damon stood there frozen, while Enzo ran after her.
..
..
PRESENT
Klaus was asking them routine couple questions, neither was Damon coming to the point. Elena was getting way too impatient.
"So Doctor Salvatore says that he thinks the issue with you is that you overthink about a certain thing, any flashes from the past makes you anxious." Klaus said
She sighed, "That's the reason that he won't have sex with me." She felt her husband stiff by her side.
"So you both haven't been intimate since how long?"
Damon looked at her then Klaus, "Umm, we are intimate, we just don't go all the way."
"How long?"
"Well a night prior to the accident was last, so I'd say five months now." He said plainly
"Doctor do you think Elena is uncomfortable or are you?" he asked
"We tried once but, uh, she suddenly got a panic attack and then it just worries me, it's not like she never got a panic attack before in our marriage life in that type of situations but now she remembers stuff from our life before the memory loss, and it's always something bad, she seems to not recognize me in those moments. I think she doesn't trust me."
"What? I trust you completely." She bit her lip.
"So Mrs. Salvatore wants to take it to the level?" he said writing it down.
She instantly said, "Yes, can we?" she felt Damon clutch her hand.
"Of course you can, it's healthy, although I would suggest that you both discuss all your history so it won't interfere with your marital life."
"So what do I do when she freaks out in the middle of it?" he asked anxiously.
"First off, after the well needed discussion, I don't think that'll happen but if it does, just make sure Elena knows she's safe, tell her she doesn't need to go anywhere, you can call her friends for her. In that moment you need to be away, so she knows that you mean no harm." Klaus instructed "Or this will be stuck with you two."
He nodded.
"How're your anger issues Doctor?" Klaus asked with a smile "The last time you both were here a year ago, you complained about him being aggressive."
Elena didn't get any flash backs; they were in couple therapy before?
"I don't know. Umm Damon is so nice to me all the time, he treats me like a baby." She took in the news positively.
"An year back you both were insecure about your relationship but you both wanted to fix it, I still have old notes." He took out some old pads. "Elena you wrote that Doctor is a very jealous man. He gets very angry when you upload somewhat of racy content on the internet or do something unexpected on tv, while on work."
Damon huffed.
"And you Doctor said that sometimes you feel like Elena leaves you out."
"I know what I said, but we worked on it, we dealt with our issues, the best thing about me and her was that we wanted to work it out, we didn't want to leave it. Of course when you're married to someone as beautiful as Elena Salvatore, you'll get jealous, it's not her fault at all, it's mine, it's not like I didn't trust her, I just trust everybody, I just felt like there are a lot of better choices than me for Elena, I didn't feel good enough for her, my job's boring ,my aspirations are very plain, I am not as quirky as my brother, everyone told me how out of order was it for someone like Elena to settle for me."
She held his hand, "Damon, I don't feel that way at all, you're the most exciting person for me. I don't know why you can't see that but I can't focus on anyone else when you're in the room."
He lightly smiled, "You use to say that before too."
She cupped the side of his face, "Because it's true."
"So have you been back at work, Mrs. Salvatore?" Klaus asked breaking their bubble
"Umm yes Stefan has been arranging quite a lot of work for me, but it's not too much on my shoulders." She gave her husband another loving look before turning to Klaus.
"Does the work still bother you Doctor?"
He sighed, "Sometimes a little, but I know Elena loves her work, she can do it as long as she wants, it's not my decision to make, I support her what so ever."
"How's the work experience?" Klaus asked her
"It's okay, I am getting the hang of it, Damon doesn't let me read news about me."
"Because its negative. I can't see you upset baby." He said as if explaining that to her a millionth time.
"Doctor's right Elena, you shouldn't read anything that bothers you." Klaus commented
"He's teaching me how to use various things on my smart phone, it's our little activity before bed." She added excitedly.
"We watch cat videos till midnight." Damon said with a huff, then when she gave him a glare he added, "Which is the highlight of my day."
When Klaus told them that he had to talk to Elena for a while now, Damon left the room assuring her he's right outside.
"So how's everything?"
She bit her lip, "Everything is great, every day I feel like I love and trust him more. It's over whelming but it also feels like it's right."
Klaus smiled, "So the Doctor, how are his anger episodes? How often does he argue?"
"He honestly doesn't, he's the calmest person ever, he's so nice to my friends and my colleagues, when we have any guest of mine from the industry over, he quickly cooks for them, he is supportive and optimistic about everything. Its why I love him so much." She explained everything, though she knew if she had to talk about her perfect man, she'd rather never stop talking.
"Do you feel insecure about your relationship?'
"No, but sometimes, I feel like someone else wants us to break."
"Why is that?"
"One of my friends, I think she is interested in him , I am not sure, but when she is around , I feel infuriated, the fact that my memory loss has caused me to forget everything my husband liked and didn't , and she knows makes me feel insignificant, I sometimes feel like they're more close than me and him are, I lied to her, told her me and Damon are sexually active, so if she even thinks of taking advantage of his cabin fever, there are no chances now." She was embarrassed as she confessed.
"maybe you're assuming this friend of yours likes him." Klaus suggested
She shook her head, "No, the way she looks at him says it all."
"So that's the reason you want to take the next step? To be on the safer side?" he asked noting it down with him.
"A little, but I also trust him, and I think it's time we start acting like a normal couple, I am ready." She cleared it up.
"Okay Elena, now we're going to try something okay, just be brave." He assured, she nodded.
"close your eyes." He instructed, she did. "Now focus Elena, you're not here, your years back. You're in mystic, you're with Damon (That's a rare time he used his name) you're happy. Everything is the way it should be. You're not married, do you want to marry him Elena?"
"yes." She said. She tried hard to focus.
"Why?"
"He makes me happy." She said slowly but sure, "We're at the waterfall, we swam, we ate the fruits we brought, I am sleeping in his arms. I want nothing else, no one else with me."
"Good. Tell me Elena, Is there any bickering between you two?
"Nothing- we're at peace, I know I want to marry him here and now." She said in a dreamy tone.
"Focus Elena, what else is there – Do you see Stefan, Caroline, your parents? where are they?" he asked softly.
She concentrated and like water from a tap, she felt drop by drop come to her,
"Damon's gone. "She took a sharp breath. "I am alone, I miss him." That's all she could say, "It's a blurry mess Klaus. I am getting a flash, I am young, I have pink streaks, I am getting a panic attack,"
"Don't open your eyes, take a deep breath and continue- Just think about it over and over, where are your friends?"
"Someone is helping me; I can't see him but it's Damon I think."
"Helping you in what?" Klaus asked.
"During the panic attack. It must be Damon. He's the only one who knows how to control me."
"yes, of course, it's him."
"He's angry,"
"He always had that issues, Elena. He used to lose control whenever he was angry, remember?"
She breathed deep everything she was thinking about or reliving was buried.
"Get away from me!" she heard herself shout. She could see strong arms holding her as if they wanted to hurt her, "I've told you one too many times Elena, if I see him again I'll cut him in half."
"Fuck you!" she shouted, "You should have thought about it before you cheated on me!"
"So you take it out on me this way? By being a slut to – "
She saw herself slap the tall lean man, he got a hold of her hair "You fucking bitch!"
"You want to hear me say it? I did go out with him, because I love him! you can't be half the man he is and if he asks me out, I'll go again! You can't stop me!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, the dark figure pushed her and she fell over the chair on the floor screaming in pain.
She opened her eyes gasping.
"What happened." Klaus said seeing her distressed face.
"Nothing I just, is it enough for today, I am exhausted." She sighed, she told herself, she will not overthink, it's probably something her mind made up, Damon and her couldn't be this destructive. She didn't see his face; this was just her mind playing tricks on her.
When she went outside, he was right there, he hugged her and kissed the top of her head, "You okay angel?"
"yeah." She smiled weakly, he leaned down and pecked her on the lips, "So the doctor has decided in your favor, guess I have to enlighten you with my talents now."
She slightly grinned "Talents right! You must be horrified."
"It's like your second virginity. Of course I missed your first-,"
"What? My v-card is lost on someone else."
He interrupted her, "We will talk in the privacy of our room. Right now I have a surprise for you."
"You're pregnant?" she grinned wide.
He rolled his eyes, "ha-ha you're so funny."
"What you're getting fat." She teased. He gasped, "I am not getting fat; people tend to be bloated on weekends. I'll work out an hour extra tomorrow." He guided her through the corridor to his cabin, "okay You're not going to cry."
"I won't, please tell me you didn't make me a burnt cake." She said with a pout referencing to last week.
He opened the door to his cabin, "Someone is here to meet you."
She saw her Miranda on the cabin couch waiting for her. Her mouth dropped "Mom?"
"Elena, my baby!" her mother got up when she saw her daughter, she quickly got ahead and hugged her mother. "I am here for you baby." Her mother whispered in her ear between the tears.
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..
I know some of you're confused with last chapter but trust me that was my intention, I wanted you guys to feel exactly what Elena was feeling.
Now, we'll have a little long chapters for explanation.
So what do you think about Damon and Elena in teens? I know Damon was a dick but he was a teenager boy, a jealous one.
The man in Elena's flashback, do you think it's Damon, are Elena and Damon really so toxic?
Who do you think the killer is?
Do review because it is the highlight of my day! I would love if you go in a bit detail!
Love you guys so much! Your words mean the world to me!
Review!