Halsey - clementine
Drowning. That's what this felt like. Not in the literal sense, water filling your lungs, pressing in all around you while you thrashed. No, just a weightlessness, while thoughts flickered through her mind so fast, she could scarcely process.
She tried to focus on the images that were crowding her head. The more she grasped onto a single one, the more it seemed to slow, until she could finally see what she was looking at. CyberLife tower, but no part she'd ever been to, surrounded by androids. A memory from Connor's mind.
As she calmed down, the images began to make sense. Connor had been truthful; she could see anything and everything through his eyes. She could feel the emotions he had felt.
More than that though, she could feel Connor. It was like being immersed in him. A delicate feeling of warmth wrapped around her whole being, keeping her safe. She could stay in that place forever.
Until Connor finally released her, the synthetic skin molding back over his hand. Taylor blinked back into reality, in the master bedroom of the ridiculously large house that Alex had rented for her. He was still sitting in front of her, his hand outstretched, his LED blinking red.
During their connection, she hadn't been able to see what Connor was seeing inside of her head. Probably for the best. But she knew that he knew what he was doing, and he could process information much faster than she could. She was still trying to organize the things she had seen.
"Connor, are you okay? I told you—" He cut her sentence off by reaching for her again, pulling her very suddenly against his chest. His arms tightened around her, and she knew that had she still been human, she'd have been in pain. He buried his face against her neck.
"Hey," she said, alarmed. She wriggled in his hold until she could move her arms around him, stroking one hand down his back. "Hey, it's alright."
"I'm sorry." He muttered against her skin, but he didn't let her go. She didn't know what he was apologizing for. She didn't know what he had seen, or if he was just apologizing for his behavior. She kept stroking his back, worried.
Taylor knew that her head was a disaster area. She had suffered from anxiety since she was a child, had gone through trauma at a young age, and at times experienced unbelievable fear for almost no reason. The idea that Connor would see all of that, along with all of her ugliest memories, was the reason she'd said no to this at first.
She couldn't deny him anything, though. Not in the end, when he'd looked so earnest and asked her to trust him. He clearly had wanted this very much. She just didn't think he'd known what he was in for at the time.
"Connor, look at me." She said, gently trying to pull away. He relaxed his hold on her just enough for her to lean away, then very slowly lifted his head. There were tears collected on his cheeks, his LED a solid amber now, and she felt her heart breaking for him. Reaching up, she brushed the pads of her thumbs over his cheeks, wiping his tears away.
"I saw it all. Everything." His voice was barely above a whisper. She tried not to grimace. This was definitely her fault then. Alex had told her that she didn't ruin anything, but it was hard not to feel like she wasn't ruining Connor.
"It's okay." She said, instead of 'I told you so'. Her fingers were dabbing away the last of his tears now, but he still looked forlorn. "It's all in the past now. They're just memories."
He didn't look convinced. That little line was etched in between his eyebrows, a frown on his lips. She kept her hands on his face and leaned in, pressing her forehead to his like he did so often. "It can't have all been bad. Did you see anything good?"
"Yes." He looked up then, meeting her eyes again. "I saw Alex, and Hayley, and Jake. I saw your friends. I saw your parents, when you were younger."
"I bet you saw yourself, too." Taylor smiled at the soft blue blush that crept across his cheeks. She wondered if he'd gone looking for the memories of the two of them or if those had come easily. He was all she ever seemed to think of anymore.
"I did." He said honestly. After a moment's hesitation, he said, "Did you really care about me all that time?"
"You saw the truth for yourself," she said, knowing she was probably blushing now too. But he was smiling again, so it was worth her embarrassment. "You were kind to me. You were gentle, and determined, and everything good. I fell for you almost immediately. When you gave me your jacket, at Carlos Ortiz's house."
Connor's mouth dropped open in surprise, and her smile widened. His LED flickered for a moment. "I remember your heart rate increasing. I thought that I had frightened you."
"Yeah, you sucked at human emotions back then." She giggled. Connor smiled. He leaned closer, so that their noses were touching, then he tilted his head and pressed his lips against hers.
Taylor returned the kiss, sliding her fingers into his hair. He tightened his hold on her once more, sliding a hand under her shirt and tracing his fingers up her spine. A shiver ran through her, and her body started heating up.
This time, though, she was prepared when the warnings started to pop up in her displays. Connor had informed her that, yes, this did happen to him every time they were intimate, and he had simply gotten used to it. Just knowing that had put her mind at ease, though she had felt guilty for never suspecting.
They'd practiced. He'd refused to try again until he was sure her stress levels would not go critical. She understood the need, but the teasing had made her absolutely desperate for him. Now they were alone, in this house, with no one to hear her scream.
He broke away from her mouth, moving his lips along her jaw, down to her neck. She felt the soft, wet press of his tongue before he gently sucked on her most sensitive spots. But he was still being conservative, and she was impatient. Her hands moved down to his chest, pulling the buttons open impatiently.
"Taylor—" He warned, but she silenced him with her mouth, kissing him again as she slid fully onto his lap. He moaned softly against her lips as she grinded her hips into his, feeling his growing erection. He must have wanted this just as badly.
"Please," she said, pushing his shirt and jacket off of his shoulders. Both of his hands were pressed into the mattress now, like he was trying to control himself, so she pulled her own shirt off and tossed it away.
Her internal fans were already kicked on, whirring, trying to cool her off. The warnings were coming nonstop, but she wasn't scared this time. She expected it. She was hungry for Connor, and she started pressing kisses against his neck, pressing her breasts against his chest as she did so.
"Please," she said again, rolling her hips into his again. Connor couldn't take it anymore. His hands came up to her waist and he picked her up easily, lifting her off of him and pressing her back into the bed. He climbed over the top of her, his eyes dark with lust, his arms on either side of her body.
"Tell me if you need to stop." He said, his voice full of tightly held restraint. It made her want him more, and she nodded jerkily, reaching for his belt buckle. He pressed his knee in between her legs, pinning her to the bed, grinding against her heat. She moaned and arched her back toward him, hypersensitive to his touch.
"Patience," he said softly, lowering himself down to her. His hands worked her bra loose while he placed kisses along her collar bone, sucking lightly on her skin in between each one. Once he'd discarded her bra, his hands were already moving for the rest of her clothing. His mouth closed around her nipple, and he flicked his tongue over it while he worked her panties off.
"C-Connor, please," she breathed, begging now. He ignored her as he tossed her clothes away and started trailing kisses down her chest toward her stomach. He paused over the small, hidden compartment where her thirium pump was located. He ran his tongue along the outer edge.
A shudder went through her, so violent that she lifted off of the bed. It left her panting, but Connor kept moving, until his kisses trailed all the way to the sensitive bud above her entrance. She nearly jumped off the bed again when his lips brushed against her clitoris.
He placed one hand on her hip to pin her against the bed as he nuzzled in. She moaned as his tongue plunged inside of her. He licked a slow stripe through the center of her, then worked his tongue back and forth over her clitoris.
Her legs started to shake, the tension in her abdomen already building. She'd been under stimulated for too long and now she was rushing to climax. Connor must have known. He sealed his lips around her clitoris and started to gently suck. The sensation was enough to make her whole body tingle with pleasure, and she came seconds later, moaning his name.
He stayed there, lapping up the fluids from her orgasm, his tongue working slowly over her folds. When he glanced up, his eyes were still dark, and he licked his lips. Even though she had just come down from her orgasm, she wanted more. She wanted him.
Connor must have decided she could handle their present activities. He rose up above her to pull off his pants and boxers, kicking them across the room. His hands slid up her hips slowly, reverently, and in one swift motion he flipped her onto her stomach.
Taylor gasped when his fingers dug into her hips again, pulling her up onto her knees. A moment later, he pushed into her until his hips were flush against her backside. She buried her face into the bed to muffle her scream of pleasure, her hands fisting into the covers.
He leaned over, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. She clenched around him, pushing her hips back. Asking him to move. He gripped her hips in his hands and started to thrust. She was already sensitive from her previous orgasm, and the sensation was nearly unbearable, but she didn't want him to stop.
Every inch of him was slamming into her, skin slapping against skin. She was a moaning, panting mess, and she was already close to her second climax. She said his name, but she couldn't get anything else out before she came again, clenching hard around his cock as he continued to move.
The pleasure was nearly unbearable, her body shuddering. Connor came a moment later, and she was almost grateful when he stopped moving, twitching inside of her. The sensations were about to drive her insane.
He pulled out gently, leaning in to kiss her neck again. Her internal fans were still working at full speed, trying to cool her, but the panting was slowing down. She turned to press her lips over his, kissing him slowly, gently.
"There's a jacuzzi tub in the master bath," she said when she pulled away, smiling. "Want to join me?"
"Yes," he said, kissing her again.