Dimitri was deprived of physical touch.
He had kept to himself for five years, and even before that, he was wary when it came to physical contact.
Dimitri didn't expect for his hand to be grabbed in Enbarr. Especially by his professor, of all people.
His vision was blurred red. He could only see the red walls and carpets of the Empire's throne room, and was blinded by the mixture of his and Edelgard's blood on his hands and his chest.
He walked towards the door where Byleth stood waiting.
He knew how he felt about her, but he would never act on it. A blood stained monster such as him didn't deserve closure, much less happiness.
That's why he was so surprised when Byleth grabbed his hand.
He gasped slightly.
She didn't say a word. She squeezed his hand and looked towards the door. He pushed the door open, releasing light into the darkened throne room, littered with bodies of Empire soldiers, and the Emperor herself.
She was nothing but a mere corpse now, so why wouldn't the voices in Dimitri's head leave?
They usually whispered. Now, they screamed.
Hang it at the gates of Enbarr!
It was too crude for him to do. He couldn't do that in front of his professor, no matter what his ghosts said. He used to be so selfish, thinking only of himself. Now, his thoughts only lingered towards Byleth.
Chants and clapping ached in the King's ear.
The voices in his head tried their best to drown out the clapping.
Dimitri fought hard, side by side with the people dearest to him. He saved Faerghus, and he gave the people freedom from the dastards who once called themselves the Empire.
The people were cheering for him.
He looked at his beloved.
For them.
Maybe he did deserve happiness after all.
He stared at Byleth from behind the wall of the Goddess tower. He wasn't sure what he was about to do.
He held a ring in his hand. He saw it at a jewelry shop in the marketplace.
He didn't go ring shopping on purpose. He saw it in the window, and thought that it seemed like something his professor would like. That's what he told himself, anyways. A simple gesture.
It was gold, and the gemstone on top was emerald; it looked like her eyes, glistening rapidly in the sunlight.
"How much is this one?" he asked.
"8,000G," replied the crimson eyed jeweler.
Dimitri fumbled for his satchel and paid.
He had been carrying the ring in his pocket for the past few weeks, unsure of why he had it or what he planned to use it for. Deep down, though, he knew.
He walked to her.
She turned, looked alarmed for a split second, and then returned to her blank stare.
The moonlight glimmered on her pale skin.
Dimitri smiled to himself.
"Come now, my friend. You must stop staying up so late. Tomorrow is yet another early morning. Then again, I know that matters little. You cannot sleep, can you?" Dimitri said with little confidence in his voice.
She nodded.
He continued, more confident. "Neither can I, of course." he paused, choosing his words carefully. "I... I want you to know I am sorry for making you do so much when your battle wounds aren't even completely healed yet."
Byleth said gently, "And what of yours?"
Byleth's concern for his own wounds made him feel warm inside.
Dimitri smiled. "Do not worry about me... My shoulder has healed nicely. I still have some numbness in my hand, but it should not hinder me too much."
Byleth nodded, but Dimitri wouldn't allow the conversation to end there. He came to the Goddess Tower for a reason.
"... It is a lovely night... Is it not? How many years has it been since I was kept awake by hopes for the future, rather than by nightmares of the past…" It was a lovely night, but Dimitri spoke too much. He hadn't meant to mention his nightmares, yet he was sure Byleth wouldn't be concerned with such nonsense.
To Dimitri's surprise, Byleth said, "Nightmares?"
Dimitri had never spoken of his nightmares to another person, but his beloved professor gave him the confidence he needed to share them. Maybe it would help him, too.
"I have had the same nightmare for nine long years. A nightmare in which I am constantly tormented by those who have died... They ask me why I have not avenged them... Why I got to live, yet they had to die... No matter how many corpses I piled up for them, in the end, their voices only grew louder. Voices loathing me, calling out to me... Their inescapable death cries ringing in my ears...clinging to my soul... Even now, I can always hear them. I am certain I will be hearing them until the day I die."
Dimitri realized he was rambling. He needed a subject change.
"But I will not cover my ears. I will go on living... and their voices will serve as a warning. As a king...and as a wretch who claimed countless lives… I will build a Kingdom where the people can live in peace. I am sure she would laugh and call such talk foolish... But I wish to change this world in my own way."
Dimitri frowned at the thought of Edelgard. The way he said she rang with a mix of distaste and sorrow. The woman who ruined what could have been. He tried to forgive her, but she stabbed him with the dagger that he gifted her as a child. It was meant so that she can carve her own destiny; instead, she sealed her fate.
Dimitri decided to move the conversation to a lighter topic so that he didn't make Byleth uncomfortable.
"Well, Your Grace, things will be busy from now on. Our first order of business is tomorrow's coronation. Once a professor and student... Now an archbishop and a king. How very far we have come."
Byleth smiled fondly. It was mesmerizing; Dimitri couldn't help but stare. The few times he'd seen her smile, he was caught in a trance.
"Only our titles have changed," she said. "We're still the same. I'm sure of that."
Dimitri's heart fluttered. He wasn't going to hold back anymore.
"That is true. To me, you will always be the one who guided me so kindly. My ally through all."
Say it! He told himself. "My beloved…" he took a deep breath. "Yes…my beloved."
Byleth's eyes widened. Dimitri had never seen her in such shock.
"Dimitri…" she said gently.
He was going to ask her while his adrenaline was still pumping.
"Listen... There is something I wish to give you before the coronation. Give me your hand."
She slid her small hand into his. It was warm, like the day she saved him. Standing in the rain, unsure of what was to come. Byleth controlled the voices in his head that day. She made him listen to reason. He was forever in her debt for that.
He pressed the ring in her palm and closed her fingers around it.
She said nothing and gave a blank stare.
It was just like the stare that she gave him five years ago.
It was the night of the winter ball. They had met outside unexpectedly. Abashed faces and storytelling, more on Dimitri's side, really.
He invited her to the Goddess Tower. He knew the legends; a man and woman could go to the tower and if they made a wish on the night of the winter ball, it would come true. Not to mention, it was where most people fell in love.
Dimitri hoped for the same. It was no secret that Dimitri had a crush on his professor. The only member of the Blue Lions, and potentially the monastery, that didn't know was the Professor herself. As always, Sylvain had to assure that everyone knew of Dimitri's feelings for their teacher.
Of course, he definitely wasn't the only student at the Officer's Academy to feel such a way towards the professor, but she was oblivious to such things. Either that, or she just didn't care.
They walked up together, exchanging shy glances, trying not to get caught by one another.
It was apparent Byleth was interested, or so Dimitri thought.
When they made their wishes, Dimitri decided to take a leap of faith.
"I suppose there's no harm in passing the time with silly legends. What do you say, Professor? Care to make a wish? We are here on the night of the ball. Why don't you try wishing for something?"
"After you," she said, after a moment of silence and shy glances.
Dimitri took a few moments to think over his response. "A wish of my own... I suppose my wish… is for a world in which no one would ever be unjustly taken from us. Or… something along those lines."
The corners of Byleth's lips turned upwards. "That's a great wish."
Dimitri sucked in a breath. "Thank you, Professor. Although, at a time like this... Perhaps it would make more sense for me to wish that we'll be together forever. What do you think?"
He braced himself for the response. When his Professor said nothing, he quickly thought of a cover story.
"Haha! Well now, Professor! You must admit I've improved in the art of joke telling." he laughed, awkwardly scratching his neck.
He was ashamed; such a move towards his professor was inappropriate.
Yet, his heart still fluttered when she said, "That's quite cruel. It didn't sound like a joke to me."
He regretted his cover; maybe something could have happened? He would never know.
Dimitri was not going to make the same mistake again.
"Please... I beg of you. Say something! If you do not wish to accept it, please just tell me. If so, I will face the truth and walk away." Dimitri cried out.
Byleth smiled. Dimitri's heart practically melted.
"That's not it at all."
She held out a silver ring in her hands. A flower shape presented itself on the top, made of purple gems.
"You beat me to it," she laughed.
Dimitri stood there in awe.
"I love you, Dimitri. Marry me."
There was total silence. This might have been normal for Byleth, but silence for Dimitri meant freedom.
He could no longer hear the voices that tormented him for so long.
"I… I love you too," Dimitri said in absolute bliss, with the biggest grin. "In that case, shall we exchange the rings?"
Byleth nodded with a smile on her usually grim face.
They held each other's hands. The physical touch he had previously been deprived of was cured. They had each other, and that was all that mattered.
"Your hands... Now that I hold them within my own, I see how small and fragile they are. These hands that have saved me countless times... Thank you, my beloved. Your kind, warm hands... May they cling to my own forevermore…"