Past.
Tired, was it the pregnancy or the fight? It just made her angry, at him and herself, he shouldn't have heard the conversation, it made her angry at Caroline, why wouldn't she hint that he was there, he thought what he thought, she could cry but there was nothing else she had the energy to do.
She was just putting a moisturizer on the her feet, it always felt swollen now, she was hardly in this pregnancy and it had drastic effects, and just seeing that she had to do this all alone all the time, it made her angry at everyone. So what if she felt being selfish sometimes, so what if she didn't want the baby initially, she wasn't trying to get out of it, she was being a perfect adult about it, unlike some people.
Before she could ramble in her head about it, she put her moisturizer and closed the lights, she couldn't even take her sleeping pills now, another thing no one else thought about, she sighed and shook her head at the tempting bottle she depended on all the time, she hadn't taken one yesterday, so maybe she can take one today; they said it was safe if not taken regularly.
She downed it with a glass of water and soon felt herself dozing off, when Damon wouldn't be home, Care would stay, but she argued with her earlier telling her that she didn't back her in front of Damon, neither informed her he was there listening to her talk shit about how she was feeling lately, and now she was all alone, partially scared but feeling good that she was dozing off without much problems.
It must have been some early morning hour when she heard the outside door, Damon was back maybe, she stayed in bed, she didn't want to have a conversation right now and ruin the coming day, he opened the door to their room and kicked away his shoes to the side, almost stumbling to the bed as if he was tired or drunk. Was he drunk? She raised a brow, but didn't open her eyes, she heard him clear his throat, she opened her eyes slowly, he was standing by her side-looking at the window, she let out a breath and he looked down at her, there was a brief silence, she could see his eyes looked weary, like he had stayed up all night, but he didn't look drunk, he took off his jacket and tossed on the bed near her feet, then got sat down on his knees so he could face her, "Morning."
"Hi." She pursed her lips and ran her hand through his hair, he held her wrist, "I am sorry, I was being over-dramatic."
"No." she palmed her face with her other hand and sat up a little, "I wouldn't want to listen that about me, it was awful to say that."
He bit his lips, "I just- I get paranoid Elena, I want you to trust me. Everything is not going to be perfect, maybe it will take longer to settle or maybe you might not instantly go back to work, but I wont ever crush your dreams to form a foundation of mine." He leaned forward and pulled her into his arms, "Your dreams are my dreams. I'll do anything to make them come true because you're giving me everything I've ever wanted." His hand brushed over her belly, he parted to look at her, "If I could have this baby for you, hell I would."
She chuckled and hit his shoulder playfully, "Damon!" he laughed still looking down at her belly, "No seriously, I know it's crappy, all this morning sickness, not being able to drink, not being able to sleep-"
She nodded. He continued, "You know and then it ends with pushing it out, does God not like women?" he asked , she moved back on the bed s if inviting him, he climbed up and she let out a shriek when he got on top of her, She chortled, "It is pretty bad."
"But-but we can make a nice deal." He wiggled his brows at her, "Stefan and I signed up for this baby class, you don't have to go, he's going to be the Mama, so I'll learn the basics, you know diaper chemistry and things like that, and you don't have to do that."
She giggled, "You signed up for what?"
"Baby class, it's Tuesday to Friday, an hour." He said proudly. She shook her head with a laugh, "So you'll change the diaper even if it's middle of the night."
"firstly, I am certain, my baby is not going to be the asshole, who just doesn't shut up at nights and secondly if he does, then okay." He let out a sigh as if in pain, "Okay I'll change it, not because I have to but because I am compensating for God's unfairness to your kind."
"My kind?" she laughed.
He nodded, "Women, beautiful, strong, the man maker women." He elaborated, "Fuck, the respect is just oozing out of me."
"Yeah and so is sleep deprivation." She pushed his hands away from her wrists and ran them up his chest to circle them around his neck, "I'll never let you to do this alone, I don't want you to be busy and tired all the time." She leaned up and pecked his lips then pulled back a little, "You know hospital and the baby, then you'd be all tired and asleep on the weekends depriving me of your sex skills."
He gasped, "You pig! All you think about is sex, sometimes I want to have a conversation." He said in a whiny voice which made her laugh, she pushed him back on the bed and straddled him, "Stop talking like that, I don't want to feel like a lesbian when I do this." She said cupping his face and crashing her lips against him, instantly feeling his tongue licking at her lower lip, begging for an entry into her mouth which she allowed, his hands traced up her hips to the swell of her breasts and from there to her neck, he pulled away slightly and smiled at her, before he could say anything, she shut him up by kissing him again, his hand slowly slid down and held the hem of her purple shirt, she pulled away to let him take it off, he pulled the shirt over her head, then brushed the hair away from her face, his lips find their way down her small chin to her neck, he sucked on the skin, pulling her against his chest, she let her head fall back as his mouth trailed down wet kisses to her cleavage, he cupped her breasts and pressed them together as he planted soft kisses all over the skin, he slowly sucked on her hard nipples, she moaned telling him to keep going, it felt so relaxing, she clutched her hands in his dark hair from how his warm mouth made her feel amazing, she slowly pushed at his chest and when he moved back a little confused, she traced her hand on his black button up, she unbuttoned it in a hurry and almost tore it off, her hands wandered over his naked chest as she made him lie down, he loved it when she took control sometimes, her mouth trailed a path of kisses down his chest to his abs, she looked up at him hooking her hand in his jeans, she winked at him and unzipped him, helping him out of his jeans, his lips parted when she wrapped her hand around his shaft, smearing the pre-cum on the head of his member around it, she licked his length and wrapped her lips around the tip sucking, he groaned throwing hi head into the pillow, she let it slid out od her mouth and her hands went to her panties, she took them off and straddled him, "You forgot to mention the weird sex positions in the cons part."
He shook his head, as if in pain, "Only nerds think those are weird, I can take you upside down, you'll never see me complain."
She bit her lip as she slowly positioned herself over his erection, then lowered herself on it, a gasp left her mouth and she held onto his shoulders tightly, "Oh God." She slowly started to move up and down his length , then rotate her hips slightly , moaning each time he would thrust up into her, she threw her head back pacing up her movements, feeling sweat drops rolling down her back now, feeling ecstatic and exhausted at once, he moved up slightly and cupped her face, his lips crashed against hers as he clutched the back of her hair, he slowly made her lie down and got on top of her, widening her thighs, "Fuck, you feel- feel so good." He breathed against her neck as he thrusted inside her, she chanted his name over and over with each of his thrusts and soon was on the edge, "Come with me." she brushed her lips over his, he nodded, with some final forceful thrusts, he pushed her over the edge, letting himself spill inside her, when their movements calmed down, the grip of her hand on his shoulders loosened and her hands slid down his back, moving them up and down, as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, she chuckled, running her hands on his back , hearing his erratic heartbeat, "I love you so much." She whispered against his ear and kissed it.
He slowly slid out of her and dropped to the other side, she turned to him, watching his chest go up and down as he still struggled to find breath, she picked up a cushion and hit him with it, he looked at her and raised a brow, "What'd you do that for?"
"Hmm You're suppose to love me back." She narrowed her eyes at him and turned away from him, grabbing the abandoned sheet as she faced away from him, she heard him sigh and felt him coming closer, "I love you." He kissed the skin of her shoulder, "More than you love me if I am being honest." He said as he let his teeth graze at her ear, she looked over her shoulder at him, "Why do you think that?"
"I know it." He said in a it's a fact tone, "Sometime I laugh at what all this is." He held her shoulder and turned her to lie on her back, "You know I never thought you and I would fall in love, hell I never thought I'd fall in love with anyone and you seemed like the last person I'd fall in love with."
"You're not winning any points with this conversation of yours." She narrowed her eyes at him, he rolled his eyes, "Look I mean, remember how you and me were enemies, you hated me."
She pouted her lips and turned to him, cupping his face, she leaned forward and pecked his lips, "Baby don't say that, I can never hate you."
"You did hate me, you locked me in our store without food for a day." he pointed out, she huffed, "Well you shouldn't have made me sit on that fart couch in front of Daniel, I had a crush on him."
He rolled his eyes, "God I always wondered why I hated him so much, he had big hands, looked like an alien."
"Damon you hated him because he won the science fair in fifth grade, God you're such a fucking nerd sometimes."
"He made a stupid volcano, it was nothing new." He spat, then turned to her, "You know what? You like Daniel so much, Go have his babies, I am sure you'll have a blast."
"Seriously is that a volcano pun or a fart pun?" she frowned, "Because that is dual, it's kinda genius Damon not gonna lie." He huffed looking ahead, she rolled her eyes moving forward to wrap her arms around him, though he was faking anger he still wrapped his arms around her, she smiled and kissed his temple, "But you know I liked you first right? The day I first saw you-"
He smirked, "Ah yes, the day I moved in town, was it?" she nodded and kissed his cheek, "I still remember how annoyed you looked that day. But you looked like a cute kid, I wanted to be your friend."
He looked at her and sighed, "I know you wanted to be my friend, you were nice and friendly, but you were friends with Stefan- that just turned me off, because I hadn't accepted him back then." He moved forward slightly and kissed her again, his lips sucked on her lower lip before he pulled back, "I don't know why I was such an asshole to you and him, I ruined it, imagine if we had been friends, I wouldn't have to wait all these years for our life together."
She puckered her lips in a made up sad face as she coiled her arm around his neck, "Um I am happy the way we are, I too wouldn't have ever thought of this, the guy whose face made me so angry- who I wanted to just arghh-"
"Babe calm down, I love you now."
"Yeah sorry I just thought of the time you and the guys hacked my face book." She gritted her teeth then took a sigh looking at him, "But now look at how far we've come, past all your stupid pranks."
"And your intolerable interruptions and self-righteousness." He said with a sarcastic grin, she picked up a pillow and smacked his face, "Dude stop it."
"Dude? No-no mother of my child will say dude." He tickled her down and got on top of her, she tried to push him off, he held both of her hands and pinned them to her side, leaning down to lick at her ear lobe, she squealed, "Damon, don't you dare!" He ignored her shrieks as he bit her ear, he knew she got shivers from that from a previous experience, she pushed him and held the pillow from the floor, hitting him with it, he too got another one and hit her back, "Enough."
They continued the battle back and forth, till they were out of breath, laying side by side again, with a whole mess of a room, "What?" she said when she watched at him looking at her for a long time, "I want to be friends with you."
"Huh?"
"I am still that insecure teenager who got annoyed at the pretty girl his step-brother was friends with, who thought he was too good for everyone, I washed it all down by being insensitive, I want to be friends with you now, I want you to trust me enough, to confide your fears and secrets to first." He turned to her and brushed away the hair from her face, "There is something you wanna say to your stupid fiancé and you think it'll ruin things with him, you can tell me it."
"Yeah?"
He nodded. She smiled and rolled over to rest her head against his chest, "I guess we can be friends."
She felt him kiss the top of her head and looked up, "Okay buddy, not so sure if my fiancé will like me kissing you but-" she moved up and crashed her mouth against him, letting her tongue dance with his, the taste of him sweet and tart, almost addicting. She couldn't believe how he made her fall in love with her every day.
(-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-)
PRESENT
She folded the sweater with her 'okay' hand and then picked out the other shirt in the laundry basket, it was getting suffocating in her room. Sometimes she would hallucinate things, memories that didn't happen, or things that didn't happen but didn't end so drastically. A touch on her shoulder made her gasp and shook her out of her world, "Hey, I've been looking for you all over, you just scared the hell out of me." A man said to her, she narrowed her eyes looking at his features, trying to make sense of what she was doing, what was happening? "I was just folding the laundry."
"You're not suppose to do that." He said, his features softened as he took the basket from her and made her turn around, "Tell you what Elena, I just got us a dog, since we can never conceive now." his voice harsh by the end, she frowned, "Wait."
"Yeah, we can never, you're barren." He chuckled and pulled at her hand pulling her out of the small room, "Let's meet it."
She stopped in her tracks, "Damon, I uh- I want to be alone."
"Sure shut me out again." He stepped back from her and to her shock he fell, she shrieked and rushed over to him, his eyes blood shot now, "I was worried all these months I thought you're dead."
"What's happening?" she started shaking, not just her, everything , the house, the pictures.
"You're so famous. Everything is about you." She heard a hiss, "You don't care about anyone's life but yours, people would die but as long as you're safe." The rambling continued, she screamed and moved back to stand against the one wall that was steady, suddenly everything was black, no Damon, no house, no laundry basket, she swallowed thick when she saw a figure coming towards her, only to back into the non-existent wall further when she realized it was Damon.
"Hey it's going to be okay Elena, I am right here." His voice soft, he patted the side of her face, "Here take this."
She looked down at his hand, a large piece of chocolate right by his palm, she looked up at him, "What is this?"
"It'll make you feel better."
"No!- No." she shouted.
The very next second she shuddered when she was being shook, "Hey!" Her husband's loud voice, she looked down at his hand and he had a tablet in his hand, "Come on, it's time for your medicine."
"Why are you giving me this?" she looked around, Stefan was in the room, working on his laptop, for the last half hour Damon was trying to get her to take medicine.
"I told you I don't want to take it, I don't want to live here anymore." She snapped and flipped the glass of water on him, he pursed his lips and wiped his face, "Elena, we're not living here, we're moving, it's a matter of few days."
"Don't give me pills." She pointed at his palm and got up from the bed, Stefan put his laptop aside and stood up from the couch, "What's going on?"
"He keeps giving me medicines, he sends me to this terrible world and when I wake up I am here." Her voice was breaking up, Stefan got ahead and hugged her, "It's just sleeping pills Elena, you know you can't sleep without it."
"Stefan." She sighed and clutched his t-shirt, "I want to be awake." She felt Damon's hand on her back and suddenly, the goosebumps were there again, she turned around and looked at him, looking heartbroken. He didn't deserve this, she got ahead and wrapped her arms around him, "Keep me awake."
"Elena." he pat her hair, "I don't want you to go crazy."
"I am going crazy." She mumbled and looked up at him, "I see things I don't want to see, it will make me insane, I don't want to hurt you."
"Shh." He kissed the top of her head and parted from her, "You just say the name Elena, whoever did this to us, I'll fucking kill him."
That was the question he had asked her a million times, yet every time she'd answer the same, "I don't know, he- he hates me." she stepped out of his arms and walked to the couch, both the brothers looked at her as if wanting her to explain, "We were asleep that night, I felt peaceful, for the first time in five months, something didn't look suspicious, I was happy, I would wake up and look at you again and again because you looked so beautiful." She stared into the air as she talked as if imagining it, "I got up to use the bathroom, when I got back and lied down, that's when I noticed a figure in the room, right under my bed like a monster, I thought it was the monster- Jeremy. But it wasn't Jeremy it couldn't be. He was different, he was taller and less muscular than the usual person, when I reached for you to wake you up, to protect me from my hallucination, he put his hand over my mouth, muffling any sounds- any protest I made against him, that's when I felt it was real. He injected my throat." She let out a shaky breath, "The last thing I remember was being tied up, zipped up into some sleeping bag, I felt so drunk but I knew , I knew this was real."
"What-What happened after that?" Stefan said as he walked over to the couch and sat by her, she bit her lip, "Just unexplained torture, he would use everything I was scared of in the center but he would raise the intensity of the electric shocks sometimes, we'd meet for an hour daily, he'd come to this dark room covered head to toe, hurt me, he would hurt me a lot."
"But-"
She interrupted, "But there is one thing he would say every day, You're so famous. Everything is about you, You don't care about anyone's life but yours, people would die but as long as you're safe"
"How did you get out?" Damon asked as he sat down on his knees in front of her, She pursed her lips, "I didn't get out, he let me go, one night he told me to go back home, to live with my husband, to save him-stay with him in his last moments because he was dying soon." She swallowed thick, I thought he hurt you, when he got me unconscious this time, next time I woke up on a bus, I couldn't figure out much more than I wasn't in New York, till we got into the accident."
"Baby." He let out a sigh as he got ahead and hugged her, "You're safe now, I am here."
"Not for long Damon, he's not done with us, and we need to go." She parted from him and cupped his face, "I want to be away from him, I don't want a possibility that he'd cause us harm."
"Okay, I promise, we're going." He said in a soft tone and dropped butterfly kisses on her forehead, "Nothing will hurt you I promise."
(-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-)
PAST
"It wouldn't be that alarming, it's a depressed skull fracture, patient has been in a car accident earlier." He read from the file, Meredith added, "She's 17 weeks pregnant. Doctor Laura has send for the emergency radiology."
"Steven is not in the hospital, Jacob is not here, maybe you and I have to operate on our own." He stood up and dusted his hands, "Get the patient prepared for surgery."
"Okay Doctor." She picked up the files and headed out, Damon huffed and looked at the clock, it was two in the freaking night, Stefan was staying over today- which if he weren't his brother, he would never allow, but Elena gets paranoid, right on spot, he talks about her- she calls him, he huffed and picked up the phone, "I am so sorry Baby I am not going to come home tonight."
"Damon it's me." he heard Caroline's rushed voice, "Stefan called, we're taking Elena to the hospital right now, thought I'd tell you."
"What-what happened?" he asked worried-thinking about her panic attacks, he should have never thought Stefan would be able to do it, "I think she's mis-carrying."
"What?" he spat.
"Yes. It looks like that, I hope she's going to be okay, we couldn't wait for the ambulance, Stefan took her in the car, I am following them."
"You- you just." He was out of words, "I have to operate Caroline, It's the damn night time- I can't hand the case to anyone, hold on I am going to ring someone."
"Okay."
(-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-)
Elena opened her eyes and looked around the room, she was not in a ward now, she was in a room and she knew what had happened, she had been awake, every second of it, she had been crying every second of it, it was gone-it was over.
"You're up." She heard the voice she had dreaded all this time last night, she turned her head to the side and saw Damon, he looked devastated, his hair looked all messed up like he had ran his hands through it a hundred times, his eyes looked weary- he just didn't look his sane even.
"Damon." She choked out but broke into sobs, like other times he wasn't by her side and wrapping his arms around her, telling her it's going to be okay, it wasn't going to be okay this time. "How many did you take?" his voice low and plain but she knew the anger behind it, she sniffled and wiped her own tears, "I didn't want to annoy Stefan, I couldn't sleep I was getting paranoid."
"How many did you take Elena?" he bit out each word this time, saying her name so harshly it ruined her. He walked closer, stood over her, "I stood here all night, screwed up the surgery, tell me how much did you take Elena!" his voice loud. She shivered when he leaned down and held her by the shoulders, she squeezed her eyes closed, "Three."
"Three?"
"I am sorry Damon-"
"You knew the fucking dose Elena, half – fucking half over two days!" he barked, "You killed it! You fucking killed our baby." His voice made her ears hurt, she shook her head, eyes still closed, "No no Damon, it was a mistake- I couldn't sleep, you know how I get-"
"you could have called me? You could have done anything Elena, you didn't care! You didn't give a flying fucking fuck!" he moved away from her while he was fuming, "I can't even look at you right now."
"I didn't do it on purpose Damon." She tried to sit up but pain spread through her body, she winced and lied back down, just breaking into sobs, there was nothing audible in the room except the sound of her crying. Despite what he said, he didn't leave the room.
(-Tvd-Tvd-Tvd-Tvd-Tvd-)
It had been days, seemed long and stretched like years-they weren't talking anymore, they lived together but everything else was just doomed.
He had major trouble at the hospital with a case, he had performed a rushed and uncareful surgery during the night of her mis-carriage and thus his authenticity was in question, they ran a full investigation on him, sat the board down, looked into all his previous cases, blamed and accused , added and subtracted. There was a heavy fine he had to pay, a lot of damage control to save his license from getting cancelled. The surgery was performed under pressure, a pregnancy was included, loss of blood was brought up, loss of blood which he had nothing to do with. In the end he saved himself but his reputation couldn't exactly do the damage control, known now for being emotional, under multiple checks all the time. His personal life felt like crap, looked like someone just took his picture-perfect life and slammed it against the floor, and now it was scattered in a million pieces. Elena however started to move on after a few weeks, he saw how every day , every move of her body, her lips were dripped in sadness, he wanted nothing more to take her in his arms- comfort her, but he felt like he was not ready now, he wanted to blame her for all the crap.
Soon her attempts to talk and convince lessened, she started working, she started going to the gym, she would trap herself in a room at home when he was around, the work started finding her- she spread and suddenly was being casted everywhere since her popular cameo in a movie. Everyone wanted her, she was on covers, she was on billboards, on talk shows, heck he'd turn the radio on and Elena would be talking about a career struggle. He couldn't manage to turn it off though, her voice was both magnetic and nauseating for him.
He was on his way back home when he was on a red signal, just listening to her voice, sweet and sad voice.
"Everyone goes through something-" she chuckled, "We've all been through things, few different than the others, but it's pain, I think pain makes us all one, we all feel the same pain, we all feel alone and out of breath and times."
"You feel alone? People love you! Everyone loves you." The enthusiastic host interrupted her.
"Yeah, sometimes I just feel alone with a bunch of people in the room, I just want to normalize it, everyone has once felt this, you could be lying in the same bed with someone, the person that you love the most in the world, and still feel alone." She giggled a little to tone it down, Damon huffed running a hand through his hair, his fingers than tapping on the steering waiting for the lights to turn green.
"Tell us about your future projects?"
"Uh I can't share too much, but just for my special fans, I am collaborating on a cool project with a very loved band."
"Ooh seems."
BEEEEEP
The car behind him horned and he huffed turning the radio off, heading home.
(-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-)
He came home after some drinks at the bar, it was about eight in the night, still not time for her to go to bed, he groaned as he unlocked the door to the apartment and got in, he was tired of this place, he was thinking of buying a house with some money he had saved up, he had heard Elena talking to Stefan about buying a house from all the money she had earned recently, it wouldn't be a big house, but a house Stefan had told him, so what did that meant for them, if they were living together, he was buying the house, he had lined up a few places the previous night even. He went to the bed room and heard the shower on, she was probably showering, he waited outside, he wanted to change so he could go to bed, usually he'd just pass out drunk in the clothes he had on but today, he felt like he wanted to sleep in comfy clothes.
Five, ten, fifteen, twenty
Minutes just passed and she wasn't coming out. He was starting to get worried, when he came home she was already in there, not like she had just got in, he got up from the couch and walked to the bathroom door, it wasn't all the way closed and when he peeked in, he heard sobbing, loud sobbing, it did break his heart, he didn't know he still felt that way, that his heart would break for her, he moved outside and knocked on the door, "I am home."
There was a break, then silence, "Wait a sec." he heard her groggy voice. In a few minutes she came outside, wrapped in a towel, her eyes blood shot, hair still dripping, "I thought you'd be late."
"I was tired."
"Uh huh, are you hungry?" she said in an almost robotic tone, she was looking through her clothes in the cupboard. He wanted to say no, he was always not hungry ever since-
"Yes, did you cook?"
"Yeah I had a bunch of people over earlier, come on I made chicken parmesan." She just gave up on her wardrobe entirely and picked up an old sweatshirt that he was sure belonged to him as if went over her knees, she put on panties and went to the kitchen, "I am heating it up so-"
He changed his clothes and went to the kitchen, he sat down on the stool near the counter, "I am buying a house."
"Hmm." She said as she took the plate out of the oven and placed it in front of him with a napkin, a fork and knife.
He looked down at his chicken which had a side of vegetables. Then looked up at her, "I was thinking we can move there after the wedding."
She pursed her lips and then nodded, moved to clean some dishes, while he sat and eat. "Elena." he called after her, she looked over her shoulder while cleaning dishes as if asking him what?
"What do you have to be upset about?" he put his fork down, swallowed the chicken down, then got up the stool, "Everything is fine in your world Elena."
"What do you mean?" she frowned.
"You have everything you wanted, everyone loves you, you're a big star-"
"you think I want this?" she interrupted, "Are you saying that I ate those pills so I could get rid of our baby."
"I'd be lying if I say this hasn't crossed my mind." He murmured but she heard loud and clear, she stepped ahead and slapped him hard across the face, he stood unaffected, "It was my baby." Her nose turned read and tears filled her eyes, "I lost a baby too!" she shouted and got ahead holding his collar, "Don't fucking dare say that ever again!" she gritted her teeth, "You didn't carry it in your fucking body for four months like I did! You didn't feel him slipping down my body while I did everything in my power to hold him. You didn't feel every shred of pain when they removed him from me. You didn't get to see all the blood." She ran her fists over and over into his chest as she broke down into sobs, "You told me I killed him, you turned away from me when I needed you the most, when I was hurting so much, You monster!" she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes frantically, "All those months ago when you said you wanted to be my friend, you wanted to hear what I couldn't say to my fiancé right? Well here it is, I can't tell my fiancé that I want to kill myself every moment or every day, I can't tell him that when I see him look at me with hatred it makes me feel like a monster, an unstable monster who couldn't nurture a baby, I can't tell him to hold me, I can't tell him that I hurt, I can't tell him that I am sorry and that I will always be sorry."
He swallowed thick, she walked away to the bed room and slammed the door shut after her. He stayed there and sat back on the stool, tears filled his eyes and slowly it started rolling down his cheeks, he hates this, he hated living this way. He knew that all that meant to him was inside that room. Hurting because of him, he knew he was hurting her, he didn't know why? How could her misery make his any less?
She cried into the pillow and brought up the blanket further on herself, it would be okay if she just woke up and this would all be a terrible dream, she would wake up and her life wouldn't be a living hell. When the door to the room opened , she closed her eyes pretending to be asleep- she didn't want more conversation, like once he had said, right now he made her sick, she felt the bed shift under her a little as he lied down on his side of the bed, everything was completely quiet, tears were still rolling down her shut lids, she turned her back to him, completely muffling her sounds with her pillow, he knew she was crying, the slight tremors just said everything, it broke his heart, his Elena was crying, the girl who saved his ass at summer camp was crying-just the image of a younger Elena in sobs broke his heart.
He crawled nearer and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his chest into her back, he kissed her temple, "I am sorry." His voice on the verge of breaking itself.
That just did it, she stopped muffling her crying and tore her mouth away from the pillow, crying loudly, "NO!"
"I am so so sorry." His voice in whispers as he kissed the top of her head over and over, "I hate me too, I hate me so much." He said in a shaky voice, suddenly just bursting into tears, he held her closer, "It hurt so much, so much that I couldn't take it, it was killing me." he confessed between tears.
She looked over her shoulder, her face red and wet with tears, "I hurt too and I needed you, I needed you to hold me."
He nodded. when she turned to him, he hugged her, burying his face in her neck, she could hear his voice vibrating against her neck, "I wanted to, so much- but I wasn't strong, I didn't know how I started to blame you baby, I shouldn't have, you deserve so much better than me."
"No, don't cry." She patted his hair and slowly ran her hands up and down his back as he cried, she had never seen him cry like this, it broke her heart, made her cry too. He pulled away slightly, "You're right! I am a monster, I fucking hurt you so much because I couldn't cope with myself."
"No Damon it's okay." She cupped his face, he held her hands and squeezed them, "No! Fucking hit me!" he said as he touched her limp hands to his cheeks, "Hit me!"
"Damon stop." She sat up and cupped his fac, then wiped his eyes, "I love you, I love you very much." She whispered as she wiped the tears off her cheeks, he sniffled and held her hands again, kissed the top of them, "I hurt you so much."
"Because you were hurt." She swallowed the lump in her throat, "I forgive you." He shook his head, "Don't forgive me. How can you be so selfless, I broke your heart a million times." He said looking into her eyes, holding her hands like a life line.
"You're my friend." She let out a chuckle, tears started to form in her eyes again, "And I don't want to go through this though time without my friend with me, I can't be upset at you forever, I can't live without you forever."
He cupped her face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs, she let out a sigh of relief when he kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, "I promise I'll be better." He whispered. She looked up and smiled slightly, "I just want you to be the way you are."
"How can you love me so much?" he asked letting his forehead fall against hers, she closed her eyes, at peace that this was finally over, "It can be my long-term plan for the camp prank." She joked to lighten the mood, she felt him kiss the tip of her nose, "I hope it's not, because I am deep in this now."
(-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-TVD-)
IMPORTANT NOTICE
Hey guys long chapter, happy to announce that we just have two chapters left, the story is wrapped up, after this story I am starting a regular comedy/romance story I haven't named it but the plots are below
Damon and Elena both live in mystic falls and a typical high school sweet heart couple , she's 17 when her parents and her move away only to come back six years later, Damon is now engaged to be married in a few months when he finds out Elena was pregnant when she moved away and now has his two children, which he had no idea existed.
OR
Elena moves into the city and to her dismay, not having enough financial back up makes her roommates with the roommate from hell, struggling actor Damon Salvatore. He wants her out, she wants him out.
Both will be comedy stories, I am just getting anxious with angst, so please vote for your plot, please! And review the story, I was on relaxers when I wrote this so please ignore typos, I have literally no one to help me. If you have a better comedy plot idea please do share. Or if you are shy PM me. Love you. I am updating Mama I'm in love with a criminal this week so stay tuned.