A/N: Hello, world and welcome back to the fantastic rewrite of The Lion King 1 1/2 Rewrite!
Yes, folks, we have another chapter up and going. Onward!
The Lion King 1 1/2 (A Late 16th Anniversary Rewrite): Chapter 3: Timon the Sentry/"That's All I Need"/When Hyenas Attack!
Uncle Max: (understandably horrified) Timon the SENTRY?! Are you CRAZY?! Why don't you just save the hyenas all the trouble and kill me now?! (Pleads desperately) Just KILL ME NOW!
Timon: (deadpan) He's got a point there, Ma.
Ma: Look, it's really very quite simple, Timon. All you have to do is just stand at your post, watch for hyenas and just yell if you see one. It's so simple, ANYONE can do it. Take a look at Iron Joe for example.
Iron Joe: (in the middle of a nervous breakdown) Don't close your eyes! Don't run away! Somebody's gotta guard us! Somebody's gotta protect us! (Begins sobbing hysterically while two other meerkats carry him away)
Timon: (feeling unsettled) Okay, wow. That's...charming. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand this convinces me HOW exactly?
Ma: Listen, it's outside, under the breeze, under the wide open sky, it's exactly what you wanted, right? (Turns to Uncle Max) Or maybe YOU would much rather have him go back on the digging crew and get another disastrous idea of Fred's into his head again.
Timon, Max and Everyone Else: NO!
*The camera briefly switches back to the entire group of meerkats who have been listening in on the entire conversatation. They begin clearing their throats and acting causal as if nothing has happened.*
Fred: (somewhere in that crowd, disappointed) Aww!
Ma: Good. So, it's settled. I'm glad we all finally agree on something for once. Now, Timon, from here on, you'll be listening to Uncle Max. He'll teach you everything you need to know. And dear, do try to make this one work.
*Cut to the lookout rock, under a small tree.*
Uncle Max: (standing on top of the rock, demonstrating) Scurry, sniff, FLINCH! Scurry, sniff, FLINCH! (Timon just rolls his eyes, unimpressed) Scurry, sniff, FLINCH! (Calms down) Good. Now, what do we do if we see a hyena?
Timon: Scream "Mommy"?
Uncle Max: That's right, mister! Because the world out there is fraught with danger! (Shakes Timon violently) FRAUGHT, I tell you!
Timon: (sarcastically) Oh boy. It's the Fraught Fest again.
Uncle Max: (furiously pantomiming) Even ALL bloodthirsty hyenas out there are just waiting to rip us LIMB FROM LIMB!
Timon: (applauding sarcastically) Bra-VO, Uncle Max. What an extraordinary performance. Way to sell it to the cheap seats.
Uncle Max: (gets in Timon's face) Applaud now, sonny boy! (Quiet and severe) But try clapping when you don't have any hands! (Turns and leaves)
Timon: (looks at his hands and gulps) Here's hoping that doesn't happen. (Shudders at the thought) Well, guess I'd better get started. (Takes his position on the rock) Scurry, sniff, flinch? (Takes a good look around for a few seconds) Scurry, sniff, flinch! (Takes another good look around for a few seconds) Scurry, flinch...no, no, wait. How did it go again? (Has a think) Hmm, was it flinch then sniff? Or was it...scratch and sniff? And...where does the scurrying come in? I've never scurried! What if I flinched without sniffing? Would it really matter that much? Oh, there are SO many unanswered questions!
Fred: (appears right behind him suddenly) BOO!
Timon: (Jumps off the rock in shock) AGH! (Lands on the ground) OOF!
Fred: (begins laughing hysterically again) AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (Struggles to catch his breath) HA-HA-HA! (Struggles to catch his breath again) HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! (Struggles to catch his breath even more)
(Don't mind me. Only trying to match Fred's laugh as close as I can to that one scene in "Once Upon A Timon" where he makes his appearance.)
Timon: (picks himself up and dusts himself down) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very funny, Fred. Just what are you doing out here anyway? I thought Uncle Max made it perfectly clear that I shouldn't listen to any more of your disastrous ideas! Shouldn't you be grounded in your room right now?
Fred: Yep! Except I have no room to go to anymore! All the tunnels collapsed because of that skylight you built, remember?
Timon: (glares) Oh? And who's fault is that then?!
Fred: (shrugs) Eh, I dunno. Yours probably. You built it after all.
Timon: (taken aback) Hey! You TOLD me to build it!
Fred: Yeah, but YOU weren't to know that it was another prank of mine. That's how gullible you can be sometimes, Timon. Always so easily fooled. It's no wonder nobody likes ya that much. Well, except me, of course. And, you know, your mom.
Timon: (suddenly shouting) OKAY, I GET IT! Just tell me what you want, Fred! I'm not in the mood for anymore of your shenanigans right now!
Fred: (pulls out an apple from behind his back) Just came by here to get myself a snack. It's not very often apples grow on trees like this one, y'know. (Takes a bite out of it, sucks up the worm inside it and then throws it away) Mmm-mmm! That's good stuff!
Timon: That's it?
Fred: Well, there's that and I also couldn't help but overhear how much you're worrying about your job as a lookout.
Timon: Oh. You have, huh? Uh...how much did you hear?
Fred: Eh, that doesn't really matter to me that much. What DOES matter is that I'm here now to give you some advice you might wanna consider taking so you can calm down, get over your fears and concentrate on your duty more.
Timon: (skeptical) And why should I listen to YOU? You heard what Uncle Max said. You're not exactly very trustworthy. How do I know this isn't some prank you're trying to pull on me again?
Fred: Hey, when it comes to helping a friend out in their time of need, I'm pretty much the only guy left you can turn to. So, I guess you're just left with no other option but to trust me this time. And I DEFINITELY promise you this isn't another prank.
Timon: (still skeptical) Are you sure?
Fred: Sure, I'm sure!
Timon: (still a little unsure) Well...okay then. What's this advice you're about to give me then?
Fred: Well, you wanna know what I do whenever I'm feeling nervous about something or just stuck doing a boring job similar to yours? I just SING!
Timon: (confused) Sing?
Fred: Yeah. Everyone sings a song while they work from time to time. It makes their jobs seem more fun for them. Why else do you think they keep on singing that digging melody over and over again practically every day?
Timon: B-b-but I can't sing!
Fred: Nonsense! You'll do just fine! It'll make you feel much better! It always does for me! See ya round, buddy! (Walks away from the lookout tree, laughing to himself)
(Disclaimer from RolePlayer48: Yep. Incomplete chapter again. This is something you're probably going to have to get used to for a while as again, it takes me quite a while to get a whole chapter done properly as I'm mostly the one sending Dede42 each half of the chapters I write so far in my reviews. Again, hope everyone's going to be okay with that. And I'm also hoping that CalvinFujii isn't going to be too disappointed in me because...I'm still not really sure if I am going to include the cobra or the Meerkat Princess here. There's an extra disclaimer back on Chapter 1 for more details on that decision if he feels up to reading it. I'm hoping he'll understand that this change is for the best. Anyway, I'll return to this chapter as soon as I can come up with a way for Timon to start the "That's All I Need" song. Hope everyone's enjoyed this chapter so far! Later!)
A/N: This is off to a great start! Bye for now! R&R everyone!