Akatsuki Cafe
—
Sasori and Hidan
—
In the deep depths of hell, the Akatsuki were paying for their awful deeds from their lives on earth.
It was awful. The worst kind of torture!
No, they weren't getting burned alive.
No, they weren't getting whipped and beaten by the demons.
They'd rather get their stomachs gutted than withstand this torture!
"Goddamnit Hidan! You turned this cafe into a bloodbath!"
"You've got to be kidding me. Now we have another month of this to endure."
"You fool. I should turn you into a puppet for that!"
"I couldn't help it, assholes!" Hidan yelled, gesturing to the bloody bodies that were lying on the floor. "I have to do it for Jashin!"
"Those were our customers, idiot!" Deidara yelled.
"Are you stupid?" Kakuzu growled, "You're dead, you brain dead numbskull. Your 'god' took away your immortality, so there's no point in you slaughtering for him! You just added extra time for this shit!"
Everyone began to yell at the albino. Pointing fingers, getting in his face, and all that shit.
Itachi rubbed his head. He thinks his stress lines might have grown from that.
The Uchiha sighed, then said, "Let's just clean up and start over. The day resets tomorrow. At least try to not commit any monstrosities."
His eyes sneakily glanced at Hidan, but the man was too dumb to see the implication.
They all agreed, but there was a problem.
They always agreed to start over, but never followed through.
The next day, Sasori was just not having it.
"Uhh, one oreo crumble frappe with extra whipped cream," a woman requested, staring at the redhead with no emotion. Sasori's tired eyes looked up at her as if to say 'really?'.
"Want some coffee with that sugar?" he couldn't help but mumble.
The woman glared at him, "How rude! You shouldn't be judging people for their taste!"
The puppet rolled his eyes. "I don't care. Kisame, get this woman her diabetes in a cup."
Kisame just sighed, and went to make the drink.
The woman glared at him, lips pulling up slightly into a snarl. Sasori frowned at her, noticing the people waiting for her to move.
"Lady, you're holding up the line," he snapped, "Pay for your drink and move to the side. I hate waiting on slow hags like you."
"No! I'm not paying for shit service!" she yelled, even stomping her heel into the floor. Sasori rose a brow at her childish attitude, then felt his own patience run thin, which was very little in the first place.
"Pay me, or leave without your 'coffee'," he seethed through his teeth.
"Where's the fucking manager?!" she yelled, getting close to his face. He didn't lean back, and instead got closer to her's.
His patience was gone.
Sasori jumped over the counter, making everyone scream. A sadistic grin made its way onto his face when she tried to run, and he tore off his uniform. The long coil in his stomach whipped out and impaled her, poison seeping into her blood.
The woman screamed, trying to pull the coil out of her stomach. Sasori felt his eyes go wide, and the grin just wouldn't leave. Yes, she could be his puppet. Not a useful one, just a puppet to add to his collection of victims.
Before he could jump onto her and gut her, two arms held his waist back, and he glared at whoever it was.
"Chill out, my man!" Deidara yelled desperately, and Sasori let him pull him back. The coil ripped out of her stomach, leaving it stained with blood.
The cafe was left empty once again with a dead body on the floor.
"I expected more from you." Deidara frowned. Then, his brows rose in though., "Actually, maybe I didn't, yeah. You're too impatient to work the register."
Sasori shoved Deidara off of him, and angrily made his way back over the counter.
"Guess Hidan and Sasori aren't the ones for the register," Kisame thought out loud, "Maybe Kakuzu should give it a shot? You're good with money, right?"
Kisame looked at the masked man, who was giving him a glare.
Kakuzu crossed his arms. "Perhaps."
"Okay. Let's try that instead. Hidan, clean up that mess."
"What the fuck?! Why not Sasori?!" Hidan yelled, pointing angrily at the redhead.
"It's punishment for yesterday," Kisame explained, handing Hidan a mop that came out of nowhere.
"What?! I had to clean up yesterday, too!"
"No, we all did," Kakuzu intervened.
"Exactly. If tomorrow ends up with another damn murder, which I bet it will, then Sasori will clean it. That's the new rule."
Everyone mumbled, not exactly pleased.
When Kisame turned around, Kakuzu gave him a nasty glare. The kind where his forehead wrinkled terribly.
—
Kakuzu
—
"That'll be $14."
The younger man gave Kakuzu a look of shock, his eyes widening.
"For one black coffee?" he asked, beginning to grow suspicious.
"Yes," Kakuzu answered curtly, staring down at him.
"But I thought that it was $2.50," he said, scratching his head. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at him, and the young man swallowed nervously.
"It's $14. Pay me."
"U-Um, okay."
The man handed Kakuzu a 20, and Kakuzu snatched it out of his hand, making him flinch.
Kakuzu speedily shoved it into the register, then yelled, "One black coffee."
When the young man didn't receive his change, he tried to immediately figure out a way to ask for it without pissing the intimidating man off.
"Excuse me, sir-"
"Move," Kakuzu growled, "You're holding up the line."
"I know, but-"
"Move."
"I didn't receive my change-"
"Move!"
The young man was suddenly gasping for air, and his horrified eyes looked down to see tendrils connecting the hand to the cashier's arms.
He clawed at the hand, squeezing and trying everything he could to get it to release. His face turned purple, and his eyes rolled back.
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes, then released the grip.
The man gasped loudly, coughing violently as he held himself up on the counter. People were frozen, not believing what just happened.
As soon as Itachi placed the coffee on the counter, the man dipped.
Kakuzu turned, pretending as if he didn't just choke out a man. Hell, he even got a 20 out of him.
"Next."
Someone screamed, and everyone ran out of the cafe like animals.
Before the last one could escape, Kakuzu's hand flew across the cafe, grabbing the back of an older man's shirt. If he fucked up, he might as well get something out of it.
The man screamed, trying to pull away from the terrifying monster. Kakuzu's other hand flew out and snatched the man's wallet.
The man cursed at him, and Kakuzu punched the counter, making it explode and break into pieces.
He stormed towards the man through the dust, and held him up once he reached him.
His hand wrapped around the man's throat, and the other grabbed the top of his head. He then ripped his head off.
When he tossed the body and began counting the bills from the wallet, he ignored the surprised looks of the other members.
"I guess I was wrong," Kisame said, and a few others nodded.
Kakuzu smirked at seeing a few hundreds. If he wasn't a dick, he would have thanked Kisame for the opportunity.
—
Tobi
—
"Maybe we should have someone who's a bit...better...with people try," Kisame suggested.
The Akatsuki looked at each other.
"None of us are, hm," Deidara spoke, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms. They would rather kill people than hand out drinks and food.
"Tobi is! Tobi loves people, especially my senpai!"
Deidara yelled in surprise as the annoying leech known as Tobi attached to him, and he shoved him off rather harshly.
"Get off, Tobi!"
"Wahh! So scary!"
Tobi ran from him, hiding behind Kisame. His masked face then looked up at the blue man.
"I really get to work the register?" he asked with child-like wonder. It was embarrassing.
"Yes. Just, please don't fuck up," Kisame sighed, waving for Sasori to clean up the mess.
Sasori was already near the body, looking to see if the rest were watching. They weren't. Good.
A slow smile appeared on his face as his scalpel reached for the man's stomach.
"I'd say he's our best choice," Itachi suddenly spoke up, surprising everyone.
"Why's that?" Deidara asked, hands on his hips. "The idiot would probably forget what to do."
Itachi's dark eyes looked over at the blond., "The main problem is that we keep killing the customers. I don't think I've seen him harm anyone before. The deal was to not harm anyone for..."
Itachi looked down, calculating how many months left they had.
"...three months. I believe he can do it."
"Itachi believes in me?! Oh, that's amazing!" Tobi spun dramatically, almost hitting the Uchiha in the face. Itachi glared darkly at him for a second, but no one caught it.
"Well, if Itachi thinks it'll work, then I guess it will," Kisame agreed. Inside, the man had certain doubts after seeing the fool dance around.
"Sasori, what the fuck, my man?!" Deidara suddenly yelled, leaning over the counter with a look of horror.
Sasori turned around, holding up the man's liver. His guts and organs were piled on the ground next to him, and Deidara held his nose from the nasty smell.
"That reeks, yeah!"
"I'll clean up once he has become a...masterpiece."
"You don't even have the tools, my man!"
"I'll make it work."
—
"Oh, I like your hat!"
"Um, thank you," the teen girl said awkwardly, giving her friend a weird look.
"My name is Tobi!"
"Hina," she said, giving him a tight smile. Her and her friend looked away, waiting for their lattes.
"Here are the lattes-"
"Oh, I'll get it, senpai!"
Deidara stopped in his steps, unable to move away quick enough to avoid Tobi.
While Tobi moved to get them, Hina turned to her friend.
"Maybe he's...special."
"You could be right. Just try to be nice."
The man next in line checked his watch, tapping his foot impatiently. This didn't go unnoticed by Itachi.
"Tobi, you may want to hurry up," the Uchiha called out to him.
"Oh, right!"
Tobi grabbed the lattes from Deidara, who glared dangerously at the man. His face turned red, and steam could have came out of his ears as he watched Tobi run back to the counter.
"Here we go! For Hina, and her friend-"
Tobi fell.
He slid across the floor, cracking his mask in the process. The lattes spilled everywhere, even onto Hidan's feet.
"Damn clutz! I knew you'd be shit, Tobi!" the Jashinist screamed, stepping harshly onto the man's back before going to clean up.
Hina held a hand to her mouth, worriedly looking over the counter.
"Are you okay, Tobi?!"
Tobi sat up slowly, rubbing his knees in the process. Then, he looked at the large spill on the floor.
Deidara watched as Tobi just stared silently at the mess. It was...unnerving. He was suddenly thinking of the time they ate dango together. He had a feeling deep down that there was something else to the mysterious masked man.
Then, he jumped up, hand rapidly rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry for that, Hina! Tobi is a bad boy for that! We will get you knew ones!"
"Uh, take your time!" she called out.
Hidan was already mopping the mess, muttering complaints to himself as he gave Tobi the evil eye.
Tobi looked around at everyone frantically, then scratched his head.
"Oh! That's right!"
He ran up to the counter, waving at the man in line.
"Hello, good sir! You look very angry!"
"I am! You are taking forever! Are you stupid or something?!"
"Hey, lay off! This could be his first day on the job," Hina yelled at the man, her friend giving her unsure looks.
"Tobi will make sure-"
"Shut up, kid! I have somewhere to be, and this stupid fuck is acting like an idiot!"
Hina flinched, now looking like she would cry.
Tobi went still, and discreetly looked around to see if the rest of the Akatsuki were paying attention. Most weren't, as they had expected this. However, Deidara and Kisame were paying somewhat close attention.
Noticing his change of behavior, the man leaned in closer, giving the masked man a glare.
"I want an iced coffee with a donut. Don't fuck up, dumbass."
Tobi leaned in slightly, making the man see into his eye.
"I'll get your coffee."
The man's eyes went wide from fear at the drop in Tobi's voice and watched as Tobi bounced away.
"Senpai, take over please!"
"Whatever, Tobi."
Deidara handed the two girls lattes as he walked up to the counter, and Hina waved goodbye to Tobi in the process.
"He better hurry up," the man said as he tapped his foot, moving to the side.
"You just gotta be patient with him, man. He's an idiot, but he can't really help it," Deidara said as he leaned on the counter, taking the next person's order with a bored expression.
"I'm back, senpai!"
"Alright. Give him the coffee and try to be quicker, yeah."
Tobi saluted the blonde with his free hand, making Deidara roll his eyes and go back to his station.
Tobi then paused in front of the man, setting the coffee down slowly.
"Oh yeah! I forgot the donut!"
He quickly got one from Itachi, and handed it to the man, who snatched it.
"Enjoy your drink! I made it specially for you."
The man had already been sucking it down, and just glared at Tobi.
"Oh I bet."
As soon as he turned around, his eyes widened as an ache settled deep in his stomach.
Then, it burned.
He clutched at his stomach, groaning and dropping to his knees. He couldn't take it anymore, and cried out in pain as it burned. He felt something bubble up and leak out of his mouth.
Before he went out, he looked at the counter.
He swore he saw a flash of red in the man's mask hole, and then he died.
Once again, people ran and screamed.
"What?!" Deidara yelled, looking between Tobi and the man on the floor.
"Oh my! It looks like Tobi made a mistake!"
The masked man rubbed his neck, turning away bashfully from the man he just poisoned.
"Made a mistake?! You killed him! How do you accidentally poison a drink?! Idiot!"
Deidara put Tobi in a choke hold, making his legs flail as Deidara yelled and cursed at him.
Kisame, once again, spoke his mind.
"I knew it. Too stupid for his own good. Well, I guess others could fill in. Deidara, you seemed good up there. How about you next?"
For once, a couple agreed. He seemed like he would be good at that. He was a talker, and wasn't stupid or stingy.
Deidara let go of Tobi, then glared at Kisame, "I don't want to, but since everyone else is failing, I might as well, hm."
This seemed promising. For once, they believed that Deidara could do something good. He could be the one to get them out of this.
Sasori from his corner glared at the blonde.
I know how this'll go down. It takes one little remark to set him off, and then it's over.
Sasori sighed.
Hopefully he doesn't blow the whole damn place up.
—
Deidara
—
"Why the fuck are these all burnt?" Hidan questioned, picking up the charred muffins.
"That was my fault, Hidan! I'm sorry!"
Tobi ducked when Hidan chucked one at him, running back to the kitchen.
"Can that idiot do anything?" Kakuzu asked as he stared at the charred muffins.
"How is Deidara doing?" Kisame questioned the two as he came out of the kitchen.
Kakuzu and Hidan looked at the current cashier.
"Oh no," Kisame sighed, watching in horror as Deidara whipped out some clay, forming it into a bird, "What is he even doing? He has no reason to be making clay."
"What the FUCK is that?!" an older woman yelled, pointing at the mouths on his hands.
"These," he held up his hands, the mouths sticking their tongues out, "Are used to help form my art. Want to know what true art is?"
"No!" she yelled, moving away from the counter. Fuck her drink, this freak was creeping her out!
Deidara grinned at he., "True art is fleeting. It's meant to be showed off for a moment then disappear soon after. Art that lasts too long loses its meaning. It is meant to explode! Watch, hm!"
"No one cares, and your art sucks! My five year old could create clay better than that!"
Before Deidara could lose his mind after that shit, someone slammed down a slice of banana bread in front of him on the counter.
"You see this? You see this shit?"
Deidara narrowed his eyes at him. "See what?"
The man grabbed something on the bread, and pulled it up.
"This is disgusting! A long strand of blonde hair on my food?! You better tie that shit up!"
Deidara growled through his teeth, and he felt like his anger would explode.
"Sir, we can get you a new one. You don't have to yell," Itachi spoke suddenly, coming up to the counter.
"You don't need to! After this freak ruined everything, I ain't coming back!"
People began to complain, and Deidara felt himself breath heavily, teeth grinding almost painfully. He has done nothing wrong, and now they are insulting him and his art?! He will show them true art!
"There he goes," Sasori spoke up, watching the disaster unfold from his corner. He always seemed to be in that corner.
"You bastards had it coming," the blonde muttered lowly to himself, holding up a hand sign.
The bird poofed, then began to fly around the cafe at a quick speed. Deidara grinned, eyes going wide as veins took over the whites. They will know true art!
The people watched it, confused. They had no idea the thing would explode.
"Deidara, don't!" Kisame yelled at him, starting to get very pissed off. How hard was it to not kill anyone who makes you mad?!
Deidara wasn't listening. At the moment, he couldn't hear anyone yelling at him. His unhinged eyes were dilating rapidly, watching everyone start to get worried because of his art.
When the bird circled around until it was hovering about the group of people in the center, Deidara took the chance.
"True art..."
Deidara yelled out. The bird exploded, and the whole cafe shook.
Everyone screamed at once, until they couldn't. People flew through the glass windows, had their limbs blown off, and even got obliterated on the spot.
"...is an explosion!"
The smoke cleared, and it was almost as gruesome as Hidan's massacre.
Then, the whole building shook violently, and pieces of the ceiling began to fall off and hit the floor.
Deidara's look of insanity was cleared in an instant, and was replaced with shock.
"Shit! The whole building is gonna collapse!"
"And whose fault is that?!" Kakuzu yelled.
"Theirs for pushing me, yeah!"
"Whatever, we have to get out of here!" Kisame yelled out, smashing the glass windows with Samehada. One by one, they broke out of the building.
—
The Akatsuki were standing by, watching as the cafe collapsed onto itself.
They didn't even have words.
When it finally was a pile of rubble, they blinked.
"That...was probably the worst outcome yet," Sasori said, unable to look away from the destruction.
"What do we do now?" Kakuzu asked, looking at Deidara and contemplating whether to kill him or not.
"The day resets tomorrow, as I've said before. We will have to clean up all the bodies early before the customers come in. Not sure if we will have enough time for that." Itachi frowned, rubbing his forehead in annoyance once again. He was getting very fed up by all of this.
"Will you be able to clean up in time?" Deidara questioned Tobi.
The masked man nodded enthusiastically, "Yes yes! I will make sure the bodies are gone! I won't disappoint you, senpai! But you guys should stand outside!"
Deidara turned away, deciding to not respond. He was not in the mood, even if the destruction was beautiful.
Kisame turned to the group. "I guess Itachi could try tomorrow."
Itachi closed his eyes, and grunted.
"Hn."
"You're not happy, are you?"
Itachi turned away.
—
The next day, the group waited as Tobi was cleaning up the bodies. For some reason, he forced them out there. It was odd, but Tobi was weird, so they didn't question it.
Tobi opened up the front door, waving at the group. "Come in! Everything is cleaned up!"
Tobi hopped back inside, and the group was pleasantly surprised.
"Wow. That was quick, yeah," Deidara muttered, looking at the spotless café. "How did you get rid of them all so quickly, Tobi?"
Tobi held a finger to where his lips would be on his mask. "Shh!"
Tobi ran back into the kitchen.
Deidara frowned.
There was so much mystery to Tobi.
—
Itachi
—
The girls giggled, blushing at the Uchiha.
"What can I get you?" he asked in a monotone voice.
"Your number!" one of them squealed.
Number? What number? These people were weird.
Itachi stared at them, waiting for them to say their damn orders. Itachi may be wise,
but he had little patience for people like this. He sighed silently through his nose, and tried to calm his rising anger.
"You're so cute! Are you single?" a brunette asked, getting close to his face which he did not like.
"What can I get you guys to eat or drink?" he questioned again, feeling his brows furrow slightly.
"His voice!"
"His lashes!"
"That calm attitude!"
Itachi's brow twitched when he heard Hidan stifle a laugh.
"You want something or not?" he asked lowly. He pulled his cap down, trying to hide his angered expression.
"Fine! Get us...7 caramel macchiatos!" the blonde one said, giving him a wink.
They paid, and Itachi went to give them their change.
"Keep it," she smirked at him.
He didn't respond. He stared at her for a moment, then calmly put it back in the register.
Kakuzu grinned when he saw him put back the money. Yes...money.
Sasori sighed, and got to making 7 whole macchiatos. Everyday was almost the same. Everyday was a repeating, endless cycle. He now knew what hell truly was.
Itachi controlled himself unlike some people. He could have used amaterasu on them, but did he? No, because he's better than that. He refused to act on emotions, and decided that he needed to use his head and stay calm. If he stayed calm, he would get them all through this.
For the next 6 months.
Six...months.
Itachi felt a bead of sweat drop down his face.
—
"Well shit! You're the first one to pull through, Uchiha!" Hidan yelled, slapping the man on his back.
Itachi flashed his sharingan at him, but Hidan was already pestering Kakuzu.
"You looked pretty close to murdering them a few times, but I guess you somehow held yourself together, Itachi. I wonder if you can keep this up." Kisame grinned at him.
Itachi closed his eyes.
"The others are too reckless. Lack of self control will just add more time," he muttered quietly.
"Yes, we know."
Itachi opened his eyes, and stared at the floor.
This is far more tortuous than I thought it'd be. Brother...I hope you are doing well.
"You look sad, Itachi," Kisame said to him, making sure only he heard it.
Itachi turned away. "It's nothing."
—
Itachi went through a whole week without harming anyone. It was very impressive.
Then, he went through 2 months.
There were a few times where impatient or rude customers tested him, but he took a deep breath, calmed himself, and somehow managed to handle the situation.
But one evening when they were cleaning up, Itachi stood outside of the cafe, and rubbed his eyes.
The headache just wouldn't leave.
He sighed, and looked up at the red sky.
"Itachi?"
Kisame came out, and looked at him with a frown.
"Why the hell are you out here?"
Itachi looked up at the taller man, then casted his eyes downward at the ground.
"It's nothing. I'll come back in soon."
"Well, alright then. Before that, I can't help but ask...is this job becoming too much?"
Itachi felt his lips pull down. "It's a simple job as a cashier. This is nothing. I've done far worse."
Kisame looked at him quietly for a moment.
"Whatever you say."
Then, he went back inside.
Itachi watched as the door shut closed, and then looked up at the cafe sign that was standing a few feet away from the building.
His eyes narrowed, and he activated his Mangekyo Sharingan. The blood slid down his face.
"Amaterasu."
The black flames swallowed up the sign until it became nothing but ashes on the ground.
Itachi turned around and went back inside.
—
"Kisame, can you fill in for me today?" Itachi asked the man as he put on his cap and tied back his hair.
"I guess. Is there something wrong?"
Itachi looked to the side. "I just need a break. I'll get back to it tomorrow."
"Alright."
Itachi went to his station, and felt annoyed at seeing all the machines and cups.
Every damn day.
"It's annoying, right?" Sasori said to him from his corner. "I don't know how you can do it for so long without going insane. Don't your fingers itch to just wrap around their throats and squeeze the life out of them?"
"No," Itachi lied.
"Hm. Somehow I don't believe you."
Sasori walked away from his corner and went to go to the kitchen to restock the baked goods.
The customers arrived slowly, and Itachi was slightly relieved to not have to deal with them for just one day.
He just hoped that Kisame wouldn't ruin everything. He would stop him physically if he did. He wouldn't let all of his hard work go to waste.
—
Kisame
—
"Hello," the blue man greeted the woman with a sharp smile. "What can I get you today?"
The woman froze, beginning to shake.
"I-Uh, can I get a muffin and some iced tea?"
"What kind of muffin?"
She stared into his beady eyes.
"Um...blueberry?"
It was only because of his blue skin. Her damn nerves were making her shaky. She didn't even like blueberry that much! Damn.
"That'll be $7.45." he grinned.
Her shaky hands dug through her wallet, fishing around for a 10.
She dropped her wallet.
She felt eyes on her, and bent down quickly to pick it up.
"S-Sorry!" she stuttered, quickly taking out a 10 and handing it to him.
"No worries," he said, handing her the change.
She stepped to the side, trying to calm her nerves.
Kisame was already handling the next customer.
Itachi watched him, surprised at how good he was at the job. He wasn't rude nor impatient. He was quick as well, and for the first time in a long time, none of the customers got angry or upset.
He turned back to the machine, and continued to brew the coffee.
His lips were perked up so slightly it went unnoticed.
—
"Kisame, I think you should take over," Itachi began as the rest of the group cleaned up.
"I agree," Kakuzu said.
"I'm flattered." The man smirked. "You sure you aren't getting lazy, Itachi?"
The dark haired man went back to cleaning the counters. "Of course not. I just think you're most suitable. I'm not exactly the most approachable."
Suddenly, the manager door opened.
The rest of the Akatsuki tensed, and stood tall.
Pain and Konan entered the room, their presence powerful.
"I see you all have been keeping a streak here," Pain's deep voice said, "That is quite a surprise."
"Yes, all thanks to Itachi. If it weren't for him, we would be going on possibly a year now," Kisame said, gripping Samehada tightly.
"I see," Konan said.
"Well, keep it up. We are getting closer to the end."
Pain then turned around, and went back through the door with Konan.
Hidan then clicked his tongue, "Why the hell do they not have to help?!"
"Be quieter, you dumbass," Kakuzu said to him.
"Cause he's the leader and gets to do whatever he wants, hm." Deidara rolled his eyes, glaring at the stain on the counter. Fucking Tobi.
The blonde threw the wet rag at the masked man and pointed at the stain. "Clean up your damn mess, yeah!"
Tobi held up the rag.
"But Tobi doesn't want to!"
Deidara gave him a dark glare.
"Ahh! Fine, senpai!"
"Better do it, you fucking idiot," Deidara muttered to himself as he turned around.
"Hey, Itachi," Kisame started, "How about we take shifts? We can alternate weeks."
Itachi gave him a look of mild surprise. "I suppose that would work."
They agreed, and the Uchiha felt relieved. He didn't want to do it the whole time, in all honesty.
They felt like this might work.
—
Akatsuki
—
"Kakuzu, did you change the damn prices again?"
"Yes."
"No one is gonna pay $30 for a latte, or $40 for a croissant!" Kisame yelled.
"If you lie and tell them it's high quality, then it usually works. I'm just trying to help us earn some profit here."
"You just want it for yourself."
Kakuzu looked to the side. "I won't deny it."
Kisame glared at him again, then went to change the prices.
"Hey, how many more days of this, hm?" Deidara asked as he mopped the floor. Some dumb child spilled their hot chocolate all over the ground, leaving a sticky mess.
"One more week," Itachi sighed.
To be honest, all of the members were sick of the routine. It was bearable at first, but not being able to murder those that deserved it was awful. Working at the cafe just wasn't as exciting as the ninja life.
But also, a couple were a bit apprehensive of what came after their was time up.
Itachi rubbed his dark circles, ready for it to all be done and over with.
Hidan 'accidentally' broke one of the cookie jars, making everyone's eye twitch.
Kisame found out that Kakuzu was hoarding a fuck ton of money. He wasn't even surprised. He also somehow managed to steal 12 wallets. Kakuzu Just shrugged because he didn't give a shit.
Sasori was currently in the back room with the door locked. When they caught a whiff of the stench that came through the door, they just knew not to ask.
Tobi was mopping the floors with Deidara, occasionally poking the blonde with his stick.
When he poked the back of his neck one last time, Deidara grabbed the mop and whacked Tobi so hard it broke.
All in all, it was a normal day.
Then, the last day came up.
Everyone gathered before the cafe opened, and for once, they all were very serious.
"This is the final day," Itachi started, brows pulled down. "We cannot have any mess ups. No one is going to harm, nor kill anyone. I think I can speak for everyone when I say this is very dreadful. If anyone messes this up, then I will trap them in my Tsukuyomi, and I can guarantee you it will not be pleasant."
The group nodded.
"That goes for you especially, Hidan," Itachi said, looking into his eyes.
"Hey, I've been holding back for fucking months now! Trust me, I'm not stupid enough to fuck up now."
"Alright. Let's finish this," Itachi said.
The group nodded.
"Let's put our hands together and go '1,2,3, Akatsuki'!" Tobi yelled, jumping up excitedly.
"Oh, fuck that shit."
"Are you stupid?"
"Get outa here with that cheesy shit, Tobi."
To top it off, Deidara smacked him harshly, "Don't say that, Tobi! We aren't fifth graders in la la land!"
Tobi sulked.
Then, everyone went to their stations.
Itachi walked up to the register, tightening his low ponytail. Just one more day.
Deidara and Sasori stood at the machines, ready for all orders.
Hidan and Kakuzu stood at the baked goods.
Kisame and Tobi went back into the kitchen.
Nothing would mess this up.
—
It was all going well. Itachi was so pleased with the process, he could actually smile right now. Too bad having to murder his own clan and parents along with torturing his brother made that a bit difficult.
While the line was still long, a certain pair came out of hiding.
Pain and Konan emerged, no emotion on their faces.
"How is everything going?" Pain asked Itachi, who was listening as he took someone's order.
"Well. This is our last day," the Uchiha answered with a look of concentration.
"I see. That's good."
Konan watched Hidan hand off a muffin with a raised brow. Not a smirk or look of insanity in sight. Working normally could really change a person, huh?
As soon as Pain turned around, a gasp was heard from the line. His eyes simply looked over at the woman.
"Ew! What did you do to your face?"
Itachi froze, his eyes widening a fraction.
The rest did the same, afraid of what may come.
At the silence, Kisame and Tobi peaked out of the kitchen door.
"What?" Pain asked, but it didn't sound like a question.
"Those piercings are disgusting. You look hideous."
Pain stared at her.
"Know pain."
"No!" multiple members shouted.
Before Pain could lift his hand up, the Akatuski sprung into action.
Sasori immediately attached strings to the man, yanking him out of balance. Kakuzu threw his hands out, restraining him. Deidara made a clay centipede to wrap around him, holding a hand sign up as a threat.
The people in line stilled, not believing what they just saw.
Konan coughed, "Why don't we go back into the office?"
Pain blinked at her, not believing that his own members had just used their justu on him.
"Don't be mad at us, yeah! That would have ruined everything if you harmed them," Deidara called out.
Pain ignored him, and took a deep breath.
"Fine. Let's go back in before I kill someone."
Slowly, the members released their restraints, and watched tensely as their leader went back into the he room.
The door closed.
"Ignore what just happened. He was just joking! Come on, people, get your food and drinks here," Kisame said, trying to make the people feel less uncomfortable.
The man next in line reluctantly walked up to Itachi.
"Can I get a scone?"
—
The day was over, and they had successfully completed their many months of work.
Pain and Konan joined them soon after, and they all wondered what would come next.
They exited the cafe, and the world outside was burning brightly.
When they turned around to look at the damn place, it was gone.
They wouldn't miss it. Not one bit.
The heat surrounded them, but it didn't bother them at all.
Anything was better than working at that shitty place.