A/N - Hey everyone. This chapter is a little longer but I think you guys will like it, or at least I hope.
When Fitz woke up, Olivia was laying against his chest, naked with the sheets draped across her waist. His chest felt slightly uncomfortable with her weight on it, only because of the scratches, but it didn't hurt enough for him to want her to move. Her hair was spread all over her face and back, he pulled the unruly strands behind her ears and then gently stroked her hair as he laid watching her sleep.
She shivered a little in her sleep and pulled the covers up.
"Are you cold?"
She nodded sleepily.
He took the air control remote from his nightstand and turned down the air.
Olivia realized she was laying on his chest and popped her head up.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No, you're fine, you're drooling like a damn bloodhound but that should be expected after spending a night with me."
She pinched him on his leg.
"Oww."
She laid her head back on his chest and closed her eyes to go back to sleep.
"Wake up."
"I'm exhausted, please let me sleep."
"You're exhausted? I did most of the work you know."
"I did a lot of work too."
"Really now?"
"It's hard work, taking a big cock like yours."
Fitz smiled.
"I like you."
"Oh shut up."
He pulled her up and kissed her.
"Since your up-"
"I'm not up."
"Since your up, we should start getting ready."
"To go where?"
Fitz checked his watch on the nightstand.
"It's 8:34, if we get ready and leave soon we can make it there in good time."
"Make it where?"
Fitz sat up.
"Just get ready."
"What should I wear?"
"Something comfortable."
"I don't do comfortable."
"I'm telling your right now if you wear heels you'll regret it."
"Alright fine, I did buy those little Chanel sandals yesterday, I suppose those could do."
She sat up and held the comforter against her breasts, covering it. Fitz stood up and stretched and then reached into his nightstand and took out a joint and a lighter.
"I'm gonna smoke this," he said as he brought it to his lips and lit it.
He walked over to the glass panel wall, naked and unashamed and stood staring outside as he smoked.
Olivia walked over to him with the sheet draped around her body, she stood behind him and wrapped her arms around him and peeked under his arm to look through the glass.
"I'll never get tired of this view," she said softly.
He turned and pulled her in front of him, her back against his chest and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He dropped the comforter from around her body and ran his hands over her breasts. He moved the joint from his lips and kissed her shoulders.
His lips were warm.
"How are you feeling?"
"Tired, sore. hungry."
"I figured," he said with a chuckle and kissed her shoulder again, "come on, let's get ready," he said as he took one last draw of his joint and then outed it in the ashtray.
She followed behind him to the bathroom, they brushed their teeth at separate sinks. After she finished brushing her teeth, she wrapped her hair up as Fitz turned on the faucet and got into the shower, she got in behind him.
Fitz stepped under the water and sprayed body wash all over his body and then he sprayed it on Olivia.
"No, this is men's body wash, I'm going to smell like a man."
He laughed, ignoring her and squeezed more and then rubbed the soap all over her body. He had fun, massaging the soapy suds in all of her curves and crevices and then he helped her wash her off. Olivia rubbed the soap over his chest, careful of his stitches. She took her time until she reached his penis.
She kneeled and just stared at it. Fitz watched her intently, wondering what she was going to do next.
She the longer she stared, the more aroused Fitz got until his penis was erect and pointing in the air.
She looked up at him, he looked down at her.
"Liv you do-"
She took his penis in her mouth in one swallow. Not his entire length, just a little more than his tip.
"Thank god," Fitz breathed in a sigh of relief.
She pulled back and kissed down his length and then took him in her mouth again. She used both hands to stroke him up and down as she sucked him.
Fitz tipped his head back and closed his eyes.
She licked his balls as she continued jerking him off
"Uhgg," he groaned.
She heard the loud, guttural grunt from Fitz she took him into her mouth again. She did everything she'd been taught to do but never actually did to anyone until now and she was surprised that she actually got pleasure from pleasuring him.
He grabbed a handful of her hair to steady himself.
"Just like that babygirl, nice and slow," he whispered.
She continued slowly sucking him off, taking him as far as she could and jerking him up and down.
He felt his orgasm close.
"Baby, I'm cuming."
She took one last suck.
"Do you want to finish on my breasts," She said softly, not a question because she already began jerking him off slowly on her chest.
"God...," he moaned as he closed his eyes and spewed cum all over her breasts.
Olivia looked down at her breasts, slightly curious then she ran her hands down her body slowly, until she reached in between her legs and ran her hands over her clit, it was still sensitive.
Fitz looked down at her, she knew exactly what he was thinking.
"We can't, we don't have a condom."
He kneeled down and pulled her on his lap.
"I'll pull out," he said with a the sense of urgency that made it seem as if the world was going to end if he had to wait another moment to fuck her.
"There's cum all over your penis, it won't matter if you pull out, it'll already be inside me."
"I don't care."
He kissed her and pressed his hands against her ass, grabbing it.
"Fitz-" she whispered, trying to get him to stop.
They already took the chance twice and she was still uneasy about that and planned on going on some form of birth control as soon as she could visit her doctor, which she planned on doing when he brought her back to New York.
"Take me to your bedroom."
He finally took a breath and picked her up as he stood up and carried her out of the bathroom into the bedroom and laid her in the bed. He slipped on a condom as quickly as he could and then he pulled her to the edge of the bed and spread her legs open.
"I want your pussy, I want your tight, wet, pretty little pussy."
He spat on his fingers and rubbed it on his tip and then entered her slowly but then immediately began thrusting hard and fast, he needed quick release.
"Ahhh," she moaned, she was all too wet and ready for him. "k-kiss me-kiss me."
He leaned over and crashed his lips against her as he fucked her. She pulled him against her body and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and buried her face in the crook of his neck.
She found herself filled with so much lust and affection for him.
"Oh Fitz-" she bawled out as her legs shook uncontrollably.
Fitz bore down harder and kissed her quivering lips. Her eyes rolled back as she came.
"Oh Livie...baby...fuck," he uttered breathlessly as came.
He laid on top of her, kissing her softly, slowly, breathlessly until he regained his strength and stood up.
He pulled Olivia up.
"Wait, I need a minute to breathe," she said as she laid back on the bed.
He smiled, "that was an amazing blowjob."
"Really?" She said as she smiled and ran her hands down her body, "you sure you're not lying to me?"
"I wouldn't dare, you're doing the lord's work you know...and I kinda feel like I should tell you that it was subpar just so next time you probably put in more effort but it was so good, I don't even wanna do that."
She laughed and rolled her eyes.
"I suppose I could say you going down on me was the best I've ever had but it's the only I've ever had... so I'm not going to give you that much credit but I love it when you do that thing though, it was really good."
"What thing," he said with a smile, knowing she was bullshitting.
"When you kiss it."
He stood up and kneeled between her legs and kissed her on her clit.
"Kiss it like this you mean?"
"Mhmm," she said with a chuckle.
He kissed up and down her wet lips and then slid two fingers in. As he kissed and licked her clit, he fingered her and she squirted liquid on his hand.
She gasped when she felt it.
He chuckled and bent her leg back and continued to fuck her.
"Oh my god-it's so good," she panted and grabbed into the sheet to steady herself.
"It's so good," he teased, "are you sure," he said as he went faster, "I mean- how can you tell?" he teased again.
She held onto his hand to slow him down as she felt her orgasm coming. Fitz didn't let her slow him down, he sped up, pumping his fingers into her faster and continued licking her.
"Fitz- wait-"
She clawed at the sheets and curled her toes as she came with a fountain of liquid squirting out of her.
Fitz finally slowed down and stood and watched as she rode out her orgasm on his fingers and once she calmed, he pulled out his fingers and scooped her up, taking her to the bathroom before she could protest or tell him how tired she was. He had plans for the day and if he laid there with her any longer, he was sure he was going to convince himself to cancel them.
He brought her back to the bathroom to actually shower.
When Olivia got out, her hair was mostly wet so she had to blow dry while Fitz got dressed.
When her hair was dry she pulled it into a high ponytail with the ends of her hair fluffed and loosely curled then went to find Fitz in his closet, he was dressed in basically what he'd worn the day before, navy chinos and a white t shirt, only now he wore it with sneakers.
She had thrown her shopping bags in the corner.
"Your hair looks nice," he said to Olivia as she pulled underwear from the bags.
She smiled at the compliment and stepped into her thong.
"So does your ass," he added.
She chuckled.
"Haven't you had enough of it and other things for one morning?"
"No."
She took a red Alice and Olivia linen strapless mini dress out of her back and stepped into it and tied the red cloth belt around her waist into a big bow.
"Can you zip me up," she said as she stepped in front of him.
He stood up and zipped her up dress.
She lotioned her legs and then strapped on her Chanel sandals on and then she sprayed a little perfume on and added some lip gloss to her lips and she was ready.
"I'm ready," she said as she put her lip gloss in her purse and walked over to him.
"Okay and you're hungry right?"
"Famished."
"We can stop and get some food before we hit the highway."
Fitz grabbed his keys and then they went to the car. He pressed the remote to open the gate and then pulled out and waited for the gate to close behind him before his drove off down the hill in his Mercedes Benz.
"Where are we going to eat, or rather what, I don't suppose we're going to stop and eat."
"We can grab some Mcdonald or Starbuck's when we stop at the gas station at the highway entrance."
"Alright."
Olivia turned on the radio as he drove.
"Where are you taking me though, after we get breakfast."
"We're going to Monterey."
"Monterey, where is that?"
"About 5 hours away."
"You're going to drive for five hours?"
"Yep."
"Okay but why are you taking me there?"
"There's a carnival fair there, they have rides, games, food, I thought it'd be fun."
She smiled.
"That does sound like absolute fun."
"Good, it'll be fun, you'll like it, they always have it this time of year, September when the weather is great."
"I know, I love California's weather, it's perfect for everything."
Fitz nodded in agreement.
Half hour later, Fitz pulled into the gas station.
"Can you buy the food, while I get the gas."
"Sure, technically it's a road trip so I'm going to a few other things as well."
He handed her one of his credit cards.
"No, it's alright, I've got mine."
She opened the door before he could protest and walked to the group of little restaurant shops beside the gas station. She bought coffee from Starbucks, she bought breakfast from Mcdonalds and then she stopped in the gas station shop to buy chips, candy and soda then she met him at the car. He'd been done a while before her and moved the car near the exit of the gas station as he waited for her.
"Did you bake the chips and pick the coffee beans, what took you so long," he said jokingly as she sat in the passenger's seat with three bags of food.
"Sorry, there were lines."
"It's okay."
She handed him the bag of Mcdonald's breakfast food and his coffee and her tea from Starbucks. He took a few sips of coffee and bit a piece of his breakfast sandwich and then covered it up and pulled out of the gas station. He waited until he'd gotten unto the highway before he started eating again, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding his food.
"Where in California does your dad live?" she asked as she slipped off her sandals and folded her legs on the seat to get more comfortable for the long drive.
"He lives in Santa Barbara."
"Is that far from you?"
"Two hours and change if you drive," he said as he bit his sandwich, he did not want to talk about his father so he changed the subject, "by the way, thank you for stopping me this morning."
"Stopping you from what?"
"In the bathroom, I was going to try to have sex with you without a condom, I wasn't going to pull out either."
She was in the middle of sipping her tea when he said that and the liquid went down the wrong airway causing her to cough.
"Yep, I was going to cum all up in that pussy, it was gonna be a big load too."
She chuckled.
"You're so crude."
"Am I, virgin ears, you're not used to people talking to you like that."
"I'm not a virgin anymore, you made sure of that."
"Have you given blowjobs before because this morning was pretty great, I find it hard to believe that was you're first time."
"I don't live under a rock, I've dated, I've fooled around, I've just never been shagged and I've never given a blowjob either, I've given plenty of handjobs though, I'm sort of an expert at it."
"I realized, the way you twisted your hands around while you sucked... legendary," he said with his mouth full of food.
She laughed.
"Oh my god, can you stop talking about how I blow you, please."
"Do you wanna talk about how I blow you instead, when you squirted on me this morning, some of it ran down my chin…also legendary."
She blushed from embarrassment, Fitz noticed and smiled.
"I'm actually at a crossroads, is it weird to ask you to go on birth control, you've made me despise condoms, it's like eating food with a burnt tongue, you're eating but you're not really tasting it. I want to feel all of you when I'm inside you, a condom prevents me from doing that."
Olivia was silent for awhile, she needed to think to herself, the two times she had sex without a condom felt different, it felt more personal but she didn't want him to think she was getting birth control just because he suggested it even though she'd been thinking about it for the past few days and knew it was a reasonable thing to ask on his part.
"I'll look about it, if I stop using condoms with you, you'll have to promise me that we'll be exclusive, you can't sleep with anyone else, I won't take that chance."
"We're exclusive right now."
"We've only been shagging each other for the past three days, that's not exactly an achievement to be exclusive to someone for three days, well maybe for you."
"There we go again with the slut shaming and I can be exclusive."
"Have you ever had just one sexual partner before?"
"I've never been with just one person before but I've always used protection."
"Seriously?"
"I could lie to you if you want, pretend to me some perfect guy or I could tell you the truth."
"No, I'd rather you be honest."
"I've never been exclusive but I can be."
"Are you sure? You've never tried it?"
"I don't get the feeling that you're the type of woman that is willing to me one of the many, I won't have sex with anyone else while I'm with you and if I feel like I can't do that, then I'll let you know before I sleep with anyone else."
Olivia hated that they had to start talking about what they were or what was going on between them, it opened the floodgate and now she had a million questions running through her head.
"What happens when we get back to the base?"
"I'm glad you brought that up, I would rather keep whatever is going on between us to ourselves, I don't want everyone in our business so to speak."
"Okay."
"Are you okay with that?"
"Yeah, I think that would be best."
She was quiet, after a while Fitz wondered if he said something wrong.
"Did I upset you?"
"No, no... I was just thinking."
"It's never good to 'just think'."
"I suppose you're right."
It had gotten tense and Fitz needed to break the ice and get her head clear from whatever she was thinking about that made her so quiet.
"I vomited on a girl once, during sex, not proud of it but honesty is important and if you're the kinky type, that might just put you in the mood."
She burst into a fit of laughter.
"You're so disgusting, I can't believe I find you attractive in the least way."
"Please, you like disgusting, my goal is to turn you into a complete freak, I'm going to be doing disgusting things to you very soon and you'll love it."
"If you think I'm going to let you puke on me, you'll be disappointed.
"No, that girl didn't like it either, I was drunk, I don't think I've ever been that drunk in my life, I'm also pretty sure I was mad at something, I don't remember what but it made me mad enough to get drunk and pick up some random girl to have sex with, as soon as we started having sex I threw up right on her."
"Gross, what did she say?"
"She was too shocked to say anything, she ran to the bathroom and showered but oddly, she still spent the night."
Olivia laughed.
"That's so disgusting."
"Please, like you've never had an embarrassing moment?"
"Not like that."
"Like what then, what's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you."
"A flock of birds, pooped all over me once when I was running errands, in my hair, on my clothes, on my back, it was disgusting and I had to walk with brown poop, all over me until I got home."
Fitz laughed.
"That's pretty funny."
"No it's not," she said as she laughed.
Fitz drove for hours and it wasn't until after 3pm that he reached the city on the coast of California. They mostly joked back and forth, they never steered their conversation back to the topic of their relationship to avoid another awkward, tense situation.
After Fitz exited the highway, he drove for another 10 minutes then he pulled into a parking lot. Behind the lot, the first thing Olivia saw was a huge ferris wheel.
She opened the door and stepped out, Fitz did the same on his side then walked over to her.
"Let's go," he said with a smile.
They first went to the ticket counter to buy tickets to enter and tokens to play games and ride rides.
When they were admitted to the park, the first thing Olivia noticed was a target game. She looked at all of the prizes and decided she was going to win the biggest one for herself.
"I bet I could win the biggest teddy bear there."
"I'm not going to bet against you, I would lose."
"Smart."
"I think we should play that one last though, you're definitely winning and that's a really big bear."
"No, I want to play now," she whined.
"Okay, okay," he said laughing, "brat."
They walked over to the game.
"Hi, we'd like to play," Olivia said to the male attendant.
"Hello, welcome to the Monterrey carnival, this game is 5 tokens."
Olivia handed him five token and he handed her the fake gun to shoot the targets.
"How many do you think I'll get?" she asked Fitz.
"All of them."
"Let's see," she said with a smile.
The attendant started the game, the small target twirled around the moving wheels, she took her time and shot target after target until; the timer went off.
The bell at the desk rang.
"Congratulation we have a winner," the machine announced.
"Congratulation, you get to pick any of the prizes on the top row," the attendant said slightly surprised.
"You were right," she said to Fitz.
She looked at the row of large plush bears.
"That one," she said as he pointed, "that big one right there."
The attendant took the bear down and handed it to her.
"Can you win another one for me?" she asked Fitz.
"Are you just saying that because you want to see if I can hit all the target, just as you did."
"Yep."
He nodded and handed 5 tokens to the attendant. Just like Olivia, Fitz hit all the target and then he dropped the gun on the table and turned to Olivia.
"Which one do you want?"
She smiled and pointed to the second prize and the attendant handed it to her.
Both stuffed bears combined were larger than Olivia and she couldn't manage to carry them, they weren't heavy, just huge.
"Let's take them back to the car."
"Okay."
They walked back to the car and dropped off the teddy bears and then went back to the festival.
They took their time walking around but none of them had anything to do with target practice so she failed miserable. They came across the strongman high striker game and she was sure Fitz could win at that game.
"You should play that. I want another prize."
"Okay, whatever you say boss."
They walked over to the game and paid the tokens. The attendant handed Fitz the hammer.
"You have three hits."
He nodded and stepped back then he lifted the hammer and hit the lever and the bell dinged.
"Wow," the woman said, "you got it on your first try, you can pick any prize from the top."
Olivia stepped up and picked a large plush sprinkled ice cream cone, it reach her at her shoulder.
She saw a little 10 year old girl walking by.
"Hey there," she called.
The girl and her parents stopped as Olivia walked over to them.
"Do you want it, my friend just won this for me but I already have a few so don't need another."
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" the girl screamed, "mom can I take it."
"Sure," her mother replied.
Olivia handed her the large plush ice cream cone.
"There you go."
"Thank you!" the little girl screamed.
"You're very welcome."
The girl and her parents took off and Olivia turned to Fitz. she remembered seeing a funnel cake hut and now that she was hungry decided to go find it.
"I want a funnel cake and candy apple and candy floss and they have hot dogs, I want that too."
Fitz laughed.
"Okay, I think they have funnel cake over there, so we can start there and what's candy floss?"
"Uhm...cotton candy.."
They made the rounds, stopping to get funnel cakes, caramel apples, cotton candy and hotdogs. Olivia ate half of the funnel cake and threw the rest away, she took two bites of the caramel apple and threw the rest away, she ate all of the cotton candy and only ate a bite of the hot dog. Fitz thought it was hilarious how she was so greedy she wanted to eat everything but she physically couldn't manage to eat it.
As they walk, Olivia saw a mechanical bull.
"A bucking bronco."
"A what?"
She pointed to the mechanical bull.
"Oh."
They walked over, Olivia got on the short line and paid the tokens, when it was her turn, she slipped off her sandals, the attendant helped her to mount the bull and then they turn on the machine. Olivia grabbed onto the robe and tried to ride the bull as long as she could until she fell off.
The entire time she rode, she heard Fitz laughing on the sidelines. When she was finished she slipped her sandals back on and met him by the gate of the machine.
He was still laughing. She slapped his arm, slightly annoyed but she thought it was funny how he laughed.
"I wish you would ride me like that," he said, still laughing.
"I won't happen if you keep laughing."
He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her.
"I'm sorry, it's just, you should have seen your little ass holding on for dear life."
"I'm not little."
Fitz raised his eyebrow at her.
"I'm just not big," she added.
He smiled and pulled her into his chest and kissed her.
It was getting late, the sun had already set and most of the carnival was now flashing neon lights. It was still full of life and people but he needed to get away.
He took her hand and led her out of the carnival.
"Where are we going?"
"To the beach."
They took the exit at the back carnival gate and they were immediately greet by the sandy shore that led to the beach.
"How did you know the back gate was here?"
"I used to come to this carnival with my mother every end of summer when I was a kid, we'd always sneak out the back and walk the beach," he replied as they walked, hoping she didn't ask any more questions about his mother.
"What was your mum like?"
He was quiet for a while before he replied.
"I don't talk about her."
"Oh...sorry," Olivia said, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"It's nothing against you, it's just, why ruin a perfectly good day and plus I've used up about 50 thousand dollars worth of therapy talking about her during my teens. That's enough for me."
"I'm the opposite, I don't shut up about my mum, I tell everyone who'll listen about her."
"I'm listening, you haven't told me about her."
She smiled.
"No, now it's awkward, your mom died too and you don't like talking about your mum so I shouldn't blather about mine."
"No, it's not blathering, we're conversing."
"Since you're begging to know; she was the best, she was smart and beautiful, she went to school to study law, like I did but she loved fashion so much she quit her firm and became a fashion designer in London, she ran her own little shop on bond street were all the other high end stores were, she made the most beautiful dresses."
Fitz didn't dig much into her, other other than to confirm that she had actually died so it interesting to hear Olivia speak about her in so much admiration.
"What kind of dresses?" He asked.
"Wedding dresses mostly, if she had a special client and they wanted something else she'd make that too."
"How does a lawyer become a designer?"
"It was her passion, I don't know- I suppose she did law because she was good at it and she made a lot of money but I don't think she liked it, she always seemed miserable at the end of the day and then one day she quit and used all her savings to open up a shop on Bond Street and worked there for four years until she died. I used to go there everyday after school and help her work and watch her make these gorgeous dresses and I think most importantly I was happy because she was happy- I'm blathering, feel free to shut me up."
"No, I'm enjoying our conversation," he said with a smile. "Is that why you studied to be a lawyer, because your mother was one?"
"No, a lawyer was the last thing I wanted to be, I wanted to be a designer like my mum."
"So why didn't you go to design school or something?"
She chuckled, "are you kidding me, my dad would never agree to that," she blurted out without realizing before it was too late.
"Why not?"
"Nothing, he's strict and practical."
"You don't do anything unless your dad agrees to it?" Fitz asked, decided to push her a little on the subject.
"No, do you do anything if your dad doesn't agree to it?"
"Actually if my dad agrees to it, I probably won't do it, when I was 15, he took me to a campaign event to make a speech, I stood on stage for 20 minutes without saying a word just because that's the opposite of what he wanted me to do."
She laughed, "oh my god, seriously."
"Oh yes. I remember once I got the flu and he told me to take medicine and I ended up in the hospital because I decided I wasn't going to. I sprained my ankle once and he told me to lay down and get some rest, I went to play basketball instead and almost broke my ankle."
"Oh my god," she laughed hysterically as they walked down the beach, "you were a terrible kid weren't you."
"Yes well, he was a terrible father and I like return what has been given to me in kind so I was a terrible kid. When I was 19, I came home from college and fucked his secretary, his chief of staff and the woman he was secretly sleeping with all in one weekend and made it back in time for class on Monday."
She laughed again.
"No, you didn't! What did he do when you found out?"
"What do you think, he blew a gasket, fired them both and dumped his girlfriend that was my age."
"You're terrible, you should never have kids, they'll be bad just like you."
"I actually agree with you, I do not want kids."
"Ever?"
"Never."
"Why?" She asked.
Fitz turned and looked at her face in the moonlight, she looked disappointed.
"You look disappointed."
"Who, me, no. Why would I be disappointed?"
He shrugged.
"Oh."
"You're so cocky, you just assume that I want to have children with you."
"No, it wasn't that I assumed, you just have really big, expressive eyes, sometimes it not hard to guess what's going through your head and sometimes your eyes are completely blank and it is hard to guess."
"I'm not disappointed."
"What if we're together for a few years and you decide you're ready to have kids and I'm not."
"Then we can't be together."
Fitz didn't reply.
"Why don't you want children?"
"I just don't."
"You just don't, is not an answer," she paused, "is it because of you dad or mum?"
Fitz chuckled.
"No, I just- I don't want to talk about it, can we talk about something else," he said slightly agitated.
"Oh come on, you can tell me," she said playfully.
"There's nothing to tell."
"There has to be a reason."
"Olivia-" he said as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm down.
"Come on, you can tell me."
"Liv-"
"You can tell me."
He didn't want to have an outburst, he really wanted to prove to her that he could be better than he was so he took another deep breath and then stood up.
"It's getting late and it's a long drive back."
He began walking back to the carnival without another word. Once he was a little distance away, Olivia got up and followed behind him, annoyed and confused. When she got to the car, Fitz was already inside, just sitting silently. She sat and strapped her seatbelt on without a word.
Fitz looked at her briefly to gauge just how angry she was at him and then turned away, he didn't need to look to feel the fury radiating off of her. He hit the pedal and drove off.
The was no sound except the sound of the engine. The radio was off, no one spoke. They drove in silence until Fitz hit the highway.
It was the third time they'd gotten in a fight since they got marooned on the island and he couldn't count the number of fights since he'd met her. He knew that although he managed not to say anything stupid this time around, he was running out of chances.
They drove for almost an hour in tense silence until Olivia spoke.
"I have to pee."
"Okay, I'll pull over at the next exit."
When Fitz came up at the next highway exit, he took it and it led him straight to a food court and gas station. The second he stopped the car, Olivia opened the door and got out without a word and slammed the door. Fitz sighed as well and got out, he decided to get more gas as he waited for her. By the time he finished pumping the gas and sat in the car for a few minutes, Olivia came back. She sat and strapped herself in.
"Liv-"
"No."
"Can we just-"
"No."
He sighed and pulled off again, back unto the highway, and once more, the car was filled with deafening silence.
"A few years ago, we came up against this mobster," he said as he kept his eyes on the road, "he had a pretty large network of criminals working for him and after we targeted him and started breaking up his network, he became obsessed with killing our commander and well, eventually he did. He killed our commander and his entire family one day when he'd left the base to go visit them, I guess he thought if he could kill the head of our operation then maybe that would injure us and we'd get off his back. The first thing I did after I was sworn in as commander was to go after him. We stormed his house where he lived with his wife and daughter. He had a lot of guards, we took them out, pretty easily. It so happened that I was the first one to come across the room where he'd locked himself, his wife and daughter inside. I broke down the door and went in on them."
He paused for a while.
"I didn't remember exactly what happened until I tried to sleep that night. I was so angry that after I opened that door I completely black out. When they pulled out the bodies, they left about half of the little girl's brain on the floor in the room. Her skull was completely shattered, her face; about half of her face was gone. I shot her 24 times, at first I was confused because I didn't think I did it. I had this huge machine gun in my hand, this little girl's body was on the floor but I didn't believe I did it because...I...just didn't think I was capable of it and I didn't remember until later in the night, when the adrenaline rush was over and I was trying to sleep. I remembered how that little kid cried and screamed as I killed her, I remember how her father cried and screamed as I killed her but not for long because I killed him too, and I remembered how her mother cried and screamed and then I killed her too. Their screams sounded exactly how you'd imagine a parent would scream if someone mercilessly killed your child in front of you. Her name was Elia and she was 4 years old."
He paused.
"I still don't know if I did it on purpose, if it was an accident, if I was just too angry to realize what I was doing but either way I did it. I don't deserve children and knowing how many enemies I have and how many more enemies I don't even know about, just waiting to use anything they can find to take me down, the last thing I want is a kid and I mean that. I'd worry every second of every day about whether or not someone is going to do to my child what I did to that little girl."
He chuckled.
"They've given me this extraordinary power, he best fighters, the best planes and weapons, unlimited resources and the very first thing I did when I took command was kill a four year old. I mean…before I was commander, I did horrible things too but I was following orders, that's what I told myself, it wasn't on me, I was just a soldier and up until then I'd never killed someone who was innocent and I'd like to say that was a turning point for me or a wake up call or something but it wasn't. I had a pretty tough month after that, it kinda destroyed me and I thought about leaving, doing something that would clean my soul I guess but power is addictive, I didn't want to give it up and I somehow convinced myself if I was going to be a monster, I should at least use it to help people; to stop terrorists from blowing up villages and cities and stop crazy dictators from killing their own people…" he sighed not bothering to finish his thought.
Olivia didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything.
"Let's see, what was my mother like," he said mostly to himself, attempting to answer all her earlier questions.
"-no, it's okay, you don't like talking about her, you don't have to-"
"The day's already gone south, I made sure of that, it can't get worse by talking about her."
Olivia nodded.
"She was...hmm...let's see, well, we already know she dead, she died when I was 11, it took me two years just to admit she was dead, whenever anyone asked me where she was or what she was doing I'd tell them I didn't know-"
He drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other rested on the armrest console, she reached over and held his hand.
"-Fitz, really, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
She let go of his hand and then leaned back in her seat.
"Why do you think you get so angry?" She asked.
"Wait-" he said, getting the feeling that what he'd just told her about the family scared her, "I don't want you to ever think that I'd hurt you, I know I can be a dick and say stupid things but I'd never put my hands on you or hurt you physically in any way.."
"What if I upset you?"
"What could you possibly do that would cause me to want to hurt you-"
"Have you ever hurt a woman before?"
"A woman that I was sleeping with or-"
"Any woman, with the exception of that lady you just told me about."
"I've never hit a woman I've been with for any reason but I've been on missions where there women militants and I have killed them."
She didn't respond.
"This is why I didn't want to tell you about the whole kid thing in the first place."
"No, I'm- glad you told me, it helps me to understand you better and I don't know, I want a child, I don't think that will ever change but I definitely don't want one right now so when you take me to New York on Monday, I'll make an appointment to see my doctor and explore birth control options."
"Thanks and Iook...I'm sorry about the beach earlier."
"You're doing better, I'd take what you did today over you saying something stupid."
He chuckled.
"I get such a bad rep, I'm not all bad you know, I do have some redeeming qualities too."
Olivia smiled and tried to lighten up.
"Like?"
"My unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift."
She laughed, "and?"
"I'm pretty funny."
"I agree, and?"
"My hair."
"Oh my god, I've never met a more conceited person."
"Yes you have."
She rolled her eyes.
"Who?"
"You."
"Me?"
"Yeah, you're very beautiful, you know it, you're sure of it and you use it."
"That's not being conceited, it's being aware."
"Yeah, okay," he said with a chuckle.
The drive back felt quick. They reached Beverly Hills just after 2am, both so tired all they did was shower and go to bed.