Shortly after 12am on Monday morning, Fitz and Olivia sat in the back of the taxi as they drove from the JFK airport to her Manhattan apartment. Fitz noticed she'd been quiet since they left Lucky's house and went to the airport. She seemed to be thinking deeply for the past few hours and he wondered what on earth she had on her mind that required that much thinking.
"Liv?" he said as he ran his hands over her knee.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay? I mean...you've been pretty quiet."
"I'm alright."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure, just a little tired, it's been a long day."
"I know, you'll be at your apartment soon and you can sleep all you want."
Olivia smiled but didn't reply.
"Flattered or insulted?" she asked herself. Insulted because he'd reduced her essentially to a good pussy to fuck. He reduced his affection for her to being 'pussy whipped', "how can I be flattered about that?" she thought, knowing Fitz, the scope of his relationship with women was based on sex and nothing more, the minute he no longer wanted sex from her - she was sure all his affection for her would disappear, not that it was real in the first place, their relationship wasn't real and she always seemed to forget that very important fact but regardless, she'd like to be cherished for more than her vagina. "What was I thinking when I had sex with him in the first place, why did you have sex with him in the first place? Because I'm a doofus, I'd never be this wound up if I'd never had sex with him," she answered.
The events of the past few days were a blur, all she could think about was the sex and the fact that not only had they had unprotected sex three times but she made him cum inside her which she knew was the stupidest thing she could have possibly done, having sex with him in the first place was stupid, let alone unprotected sex. She always wondered how people could be careless enough to have unprotected sex and now she knew, lust really does make you do stupid things. She had no idea what she would do if she was pregnant so she didn't even attempt to contemplate it, as if somehow not thinking about it would make it go away.
Now that the thought was in her head she couldn't stop thinking about all the worst case scenarios and then just the idea of being pregnant sent her into a panic.
She looked up at him briefly, Fitz smiled at her and she turned her face away quickly.
"Ugh, his eyes are soooo blue..." she whined inwardly.
"Liv what's going on with you?" Fitz asked again.
"Nothing, I'm just thinking about making reservations at Barney's rooftop deck tomorrow for a nice lunch."
He chuckled.
"Oh...Okay."
She sighed as she looked through the window. "Maybe I'm overreacting, he was just talking to his best friend, he should able to confide in someone, men talk and I shouldn't have been eavesdropping anyways and what exactly can you expect?" she asked herself.
"He's obviously damaged from his childhood and he's a brute, don't expect much from him."
"But he's risked his life for you, more than once, he cares... in his own way."
She argued back and forth with herself, over what exactly to feel about Fitz and came to the conclusion that sex with him wasn't a great idea and decided to stop. It was the only way to keep a clear head where he was concerned.
One hour later.
"Oh...Fitz," she moaned as she squeezed his hand.
Fitz had one hand intertwined with hers and the other holding her leg in the air as he slowly stroked her from behind. Olivia laid with her back against his chest, in a semi spooning position.
Her resolve lasted barely an hour. After they arrived at her penthouse apartment and were getting ready for bed, Fitz took off his shirt and smirked at her and then everything went south from there.
She closed her eyes and opened her mouth, panting,"deeper, Fitz, deeper," she whispered.
He obliged, stroking her slow and deep and with every breath that she took he could feel her clench her walls around him. It was the most amazing feeling.
He let go of her hands and grabbed her breast holding it tightly as he kissed her neck from his position behind her.
Suddenly he felt Olivia grinding her hips against his to meet his thrust.
"Oh shit!" He cursed, surprised, pleasantly.
"I'm cuming-" she uttered at she shoved her face into the sheets.
"Wait-"
"No I-" she gasped and bit her lips, unable to finish her sentence.
"Wait for me," he whispered, asking her to do something rather impossible.
She curled her toes and gripped her sheets tighter as she held her breath, if Fitz hadn't been so close to an orgasm he would have burst out in laughter, she thought holding her breath would stop an orgasm.
He reached down and ran his hands up and down her pussy lips slowly, feeling all the sticky fluids gathered between them.
"Look how wet you are for my cock," he whispered, raspily, breathing unevenly.
Olivia opened her mouth but whatever was suppose to come out got stuck in her throat by the orgasm she felt emerging. Fitz felt it too, her walls gripped him tightly and pulsating around him.
"Ahh fuck-"
Olivia's leg that he held open quivered shut as rode out her orgasm, squirming and worming her hips on his cock. Fitz grabbed her tightly, a little too tightly, she felt him stiffen as he came, he seemed to be holding her tighter and tighter by the second until he let go and laid flat on his back with his arms spread out.
Olivia laid almost lifelessly until she regained her strength enough to sit up slowly and tried to smooth out her ruffled hair. Fitz wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her underneath him.
"I'm not done with you yet," he said with a smirk.
"You aren't?" she teased.
He kissed her, starting from the lips and slowly working his way down until he reached her nipple and then he took it in his mouth and sucked it.
"Mmm," Olivia moaned.
He switched over to the other nipple and sucked it as he slid two finger inside her and finger fucked her.
"Mm...make me cum."
"Is that what you want," he said as he reached down and began rapidly massaging her clit, kissing down her body.
"Yeeeesss...yeesss...yessss," she whispered as she grabbed her breasts and squeezed her nipples.
He moved his fingers from her clit and began sucking and licking as he continued to finger fuck and moments later, she came in rapture.
Fitz watched her ride out her orgasm on his fingers as he continued to lick her clit and then he pulled them and brought them to her lips and slid them in her mouth. Olivia sucked his fingers as he drove them in and out of her mouth and then he shoved his tongue in her mouth and tasted her tongue.
He stopped and slipped his condom off.
Olivia was going to stop him because the last thing they needed was more unprotected sex but then she realized that was not what he wanted.
He laid back against the pillow and stroked himself.
"Come get a little taste," he teased.
Olivia smiled and crawled in between his legs. She was a little curious as to what his cum would taste like. The last time she went down on him, it was in the shower and it was pre-sex so there was no cum on his penis, now it was different, he had cum dripping down his shaft.
Olivia imagined a Cinnabon, warm with white icing slowly running down the sides as she took her first lick, she closed her eyes, it didn't really taste like anything but now that she was imagining a cinnabon, she might as well had been eating one because that's exactly what she felt like she was tasting.
She wrapped her fingers around him and twisted up and down his shaft as she sucked him.
It was so good, he grabbed her hair and raise his hips up and began fucking her face, slowly.
Olivia didn't think being face fucked would feel good, in anyway, but it did. There was something about the way he was dominating in bed that turned her on. She reached down and began rubbing her clit to try to make herself cum as he fucked her face.
"Ahh...shit," he said as he felt his orgasm coming. "Fuck...I'm cuming."
He let go of her hair so she could lay back on the bed and then fisted himself and came on her stomach.
He took a few breaths and then he reached into wallet on the nightstand and took out another condom.
"Oh my god, he's not human," Olivia thought to herself as she sat up slowly with cum dripping down her torso.
Once Fitz had the condom on he laid on the bed and pulled her on top of him so she was straddling him. There was always this feeling that came over him whenever he touched her, especially in intimate moments, he couldn't describe it but it felt good, through all the women he'd been with he only recalled feeling it with Olivia.
He spit on his fingers and spread his saliva up and down her pussy with his rough hands, she winced slightly, not enough for him to notice, round 1 and 2 were now catching up with her, leaving her tender in her most delicate places.
He leaned her close against his chest and pinned her hands behind her back then he raised his hips up and thrusted, fucking her hard and fast. Even though he was underneath, he managed to stay in control.
She bit his shoulder, not wanting to scream, drool escaped from the corners of her mouth. The feeling of his cock inside her was euphoric. Her limbs felt weak and she felt dazed, as if she was suffering from the after effects of some sort of hallucinogen.
Fitz eased up and flipped her so he was on top and then pinned her arm above her head a continued stroking her deep.
"K-kiss me baby," she said softly.
Fitz leaned down and stuck his tongue in her mouth, sucking and licking her tongue and lips hungrily.
As Olivia's orgasm was bearing down on her, she could feel the fluid gather and she knew she was going to squirt. Fitz pumped into her a few more times and then the fluid rushed out, she bit his lip, inadvertently and tasted blood but continued kissing him until she orgasmed.
"-Oohhhh…yes, ohh yess, ohh yess...yessss" she moaned softly as she came.
Fitz loosened his grasp around her arm and she reached down and grabbed his ass and shoved him deeper with every thrust until she felt his muscles tense as he orgasm and then dropped on top of her.
After a few breaths Fitz got up walked to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and wash his hands. He felt like he needed a drink so he walked to the kitchen, hoping to find a beer but all he found was wine and vodka, he took the vodka and pour himself shot, drank it in one gulp and then went back to the bed to find Olivia curled up under her fluffy white sheets. He laid beside her on his back, looking up at the ceiling, he was close to her but not touching her.
"Earlier in the car, something was bothering you?"
"I'm sorry- I was just freaking out, I'm going to the doctor later and- we've been having a lot of unprotected sex, I mean- it only takes one time and we've done it three times and one of those time you came inside me-"
"Two times."
"What?"
"Two times, that morning in the lagoon, I'm pretty sure I came inside you that time as well, not like a whole load, just a little squirt," he said with a chuckle, "just little squirt of cum."
Olivia sat up.
"Do you think this is funny?" she said angrily.
"Okay, calm down, it's not a big deal."
"It's not a big deal," she said repeating him, "It's not a big. I could be pregnant, aren't you the one who doesn't want children, I don't want children either, not now."
"Oh please, oh-fucking-please, don't act like you don't love it when I cum all up in that pussy, don't be such a hypocrite, you were loving every minute of it and if you wanted to be mad, yesterday was your time to be mad, you're going to the doctor later, don't be such a drama queen, I'm sure he can give a pill or something and you'll be fine."
"A pill won't work if I'm already pregnant."
"Then have an abortion, I'm sure that'll take care of it. Problem solved, now can we stop talking about this I'm tired and I want to sleep."
Olivia's mouth fell open.
"Is that why you came inside of me, because you thought I could just have an abortion if anything happened?"
Fitz shrugged, "that's why I did it, that was my plan, why did you let me do it, what was your plan?"
Olivia stood up and pointed to the door.
"Get out of my room now."
"Actually, I'm comfortable right here," he said as he turn on his stomach to go to bed.
"Everytime, every single time I think that maybe you're not a complete asshole you prove me wrong. I hate you so much, so bloody much, I can't even stand to look at you."
"Then don't look."
Olivia grabbed her pillow and the sheets and wrapped them all around her body and stormed to her guest bedroom to sleep there for the night.
Four in the morning, she laid in bed staring at the ceiling, she was too angry to sleep and it only made her more angry to know that Fitz was in her bed, most likely sleeping like a crackhead on quaaludes.
She stayed up all night, her body was tired from the sex but her mind was restless. She had herself to blame for having unprotected sex with him.
By 8:30, she got up after getting only a couple hours of sleep and showered and got dressed to go to her doctor. She noticed dark purple bruises from where Fitz held her during sex earlier in the morning, one mark on her leg and one of her rib. They felt a little sensitive but didn't really hurt, although she could imagine what the doctor would think when she saw them. Fitz was still sleeping as she got ready and left for the doctor and for that she was glad.
She spent almost an hour waiting to see her doctor when she finally got in, she was an anxious mess. She took a seat on the doctor's table and waited. Shortly after, the doctor walked in.
"Morning Olivia."
"Good morning dr. Jennings, I need to get on some sort of long term birth control but I also really need to figure out if I'm pregnant and I had unprotected sex yesterday so if you maybe have some sort of morning after pill that would be lovely," she said nervously.
"Okay, calm down," said dr. Jennings, her tiny 4'11 doctor, "tell me everything so I can figure out what's going on."
Olivia took a breath.
"Okay, let's try again, I had sex for the first time 5 days ago, I didn't use protection."
"Did he pull out of your vagina before he ejaculated?" dr. Jennings asked.
"He says he did but it was dark, I felt him pull out but I don't know some semen could have gotten in there."
"Yes, and pre ejaculate as well."
"The second time we did it which was the next morning, he pulled out but he says he's pretty sure some semen escaped, the days after that we used protection until yesterday when he didn't and he didn't pull out at all and now I'm here."
"Olivia why didn't you use protection?"
"The first two times, we didn't have any condoms and I know, I know, the logical thing to do if you don't have any condoms is to not have sex but me and him, we're not logical, we're idiots. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I wasn't more careful, I was just being naive and stupid and lesson learned I guess, this is the price I pay."
Dr. Jennings chuckled, "and what about yesterday, you could have taken a morning after pill once you finished having sex?"
"Like I said Dr. Jennings, we're idiots."
"You're human. I think every woman has a pregnancy scare, if I'm being honest with you, I had one the other day and I've been a gynecologist for 10 years, you'd think I'd be impervious to it but no, you're young and you've just began to be sexual active, you have alot to learn, about your body and other things."
Olivia nodded, feeling a little better, she relaxed a little.
"I'm 25 years old, I should have known better, the first time, I get that but then I did it again the two other times. I know a lot about sex, enough to know that this would happen so I guess I sort of deserve this."
"Torturing yourself about this won't do you any good, you know."
"I know, I know."
The doctor grabbed her clipboard.
"When is your next period?"
"It's in 13 days."
The doctor checked the calendar.
"I can give you a morning after pill only because it won't harm an existing pregnancy and it could stop one from happening given yesterday's events. I can't give you birth control if I think you could possibly be pregnant. It's too early to tell, even with a blood test we'll have to wait a few days until-"
"-I don't have a few days, I leave tonight."
"If the egg has in fact fertilized then it'll need some time to show up in your urine, in a week or so you can take a home pregnancy test and you'll know for yourself, that's if you can't come back to take a blood test here."
"Is there nothing you can do to stop it now?"
"Not if the egg is already fertilized. look...it's not the end of the world if you pregnant, once you know for sure then there are steps you can take after."
"Okay, can I have the pill?"
The doctor nodded.
"Okay, I'll to do a few things first, I'll be back momentarily."
After an emotionally draining few hours, Olivia left the doctor's office. She chastised herself for agreeing to an vaginal examination after having not seen a gynecologist in awhile. The moment she opened her legs the doctor fell silent. Their awkward conversation was playing on a loop in her head.
"Olivia you're extremely bruised vaginally, have you been having rough sex?"
"Um- no, I've just been having sex."
She felt dr. Jennings finger inspecting her vagina, Olivia winced and lifted her legs from the stirrups.
"You're swollen."
"I had sex early this morning, that could be it- you know, I'm sorry, I feel uncomfortable now maybe we should cut this short."
She closed her legs and sat up.
She came back to the present from the horridly embarrassing memory.
"Where do I go now?" She thought.
She didn't want to see Fitz and after the doctor's visit she felt like she had a looming pregnancy timer over her head that would go off at any moment.
Unsure of what to do, she took a cab to Barney's and spent a few thousand dollars on things she didn't need because that was usually what she did whenever she was upset. By the time she got back to her apartment in the evening, she was feeling a little bit calmer.
She opened the door and saw Fitz in the kitchen talking with her 30-something year old maid Jenna and immediately she felt the anger rise up again.
Jenna had no clue about her personal life so she knew they weren't talking about her and if that was the case she wondered what they were talking about that was so interesting that had Jenna smiling from ear to ear.
"Hi Jenna," she said, walking past them both.
"Hi Olivia, I was hoping I'd catch you before I left for the day," she said in her slight Russian accent.
It was almost 5pm, which is when Jenna usually left.
Olivia dropped her bags on the floor.
"Fitz is really funny, is he your boyfriend?" Jenna said laughing.
"Jenna you can head out early," Olivia said ignoring her question.
Jenna looked to Olivia then Fitz.
"Oh okay-um- I guess I'll head out."
Jenna grabbed her purse and waved goodbye to Olivia and Fitz, she stopped by the door to strap on her shoes and then she left.
Olivia walk to the fridge and took a coconut water then she took a cookie from the jar on the counter.
"How did it go today, I wanted to come with you but you left before I woke up."
"Fine," she replied as she bit her cookie and grabbed her shopping bags.
"Fine? I'm gonna need a little more than a one word response."
"Don't worry about it, like you said, if anything I'll just have an abortion."
He knew a pissed off Olivia when he saw one and decided to apologize.
"I realize what I said last night was stupid-"
"Stop right there, I don't want to hear it."
She walked away and brought her bags to her bedroom but before she could closed the door, Fitz walked in.
"We're leaving in a few hours."
She didn't reply.
"Did you hear me?"
"Obviously I heard you, you're the only one talking."
Fitz closed his eyes and sighed in frustration
"I'm am so fucking tired of your spoiled bullshit, you're such a fucking brat. I can't say one thing to you without you storming off and acting as if it's the end of the world. Just pack your shit and meet me downstairs in 30 minutes we're going back to the base, I've had enough of you to last me a whole fucking lifetime!"
Olivia opened her eyes wide in astonishment.
"Oh, I'm a brat, yeah says the grown man who has the emotional range of a disturbed 8 year old. There's nothing about you that's worth all the trouble you bring, absolutely nothing, "she decided to cut deep, "you sleep around with women and you leave them before they can leave you just to spare your feelings because you know once they get to know you, they'll run, I've been with you for a week and I'm running like hell from you because you are truly the worst. God, imagine if I was pregnant with your child, that would be a true horror, somehow I think you might manage to be a worse father than your father and that's a really high bar to pass, he raised you and look how you turned out, a sex addicted, short tempered, sociopath. It's pathetic."
Olivia didn't realize how harsh it sounded until she finished saying it but she was glad because based on the look on his face, she knew it had the desired effect.
He stood there, quiet for a moment.
"Meet me downstairs in 30 minutes, we're going back to the base," he said calmly and then he walked out of the room.
She took a breath and laid on her bed.
"You will not make me feel guilty, you're the asshole not me," she said to herself.
She finished her her coconut water and began packing little things to bring with her; some clothes, some shoes and few other things she missed from home at the base, those few other things included a pregnancy test she would need to take in a week. She met Fitz downstairs in exactly 30 minutes and they drove to JFK together in complete silence, went through customs, boarded their supersonic jet and landed in the base all without a word directed at each other.
In the morning, it was a hard for Olivia to go back to her routine, having had a taste of her old life, she missed it and now the idea of going back to working out all day in a steel building buried in an ice dessert at the bottom of the world actually felt like the hell it was.
She went through the motions; early morning workout, intelligence briefing, midday working and then evening off. Fitz never spoke to her, not directly.
The second day back is was the same thing, early morning workout, intelligence briefing, midday workout and evening off, Fitz never spoke to her.
She knew it was different this time because whenever he felt guilty about anything he'd quickly try to make up but now he seemed to have no interest in making up.
In the night while she laid in bed trying to find something to watch there was a knock on her door. She got up to open the door, as much as she hated it she was hoping it was Fitz coming to apologize but it wasn't, it was Abby.
"Liv, we're going out for drinks, you coming?"
"Um- uh- probably not, I'm pretty tired, I think I'll just stay here tonight."
"Okay, your loss," Abby said with a smile, "I'll see you tomorrow."
She was pretty sure that if they were going out, Fitz would be going as well and since he wasn't having sex with her anymore she was sure he find someone else and she didn't feel like going to a bar and watching woman fawn over him while he acted as if he was the best thing to ever happen to women.
She flipped through the channels, still trying to find something to watch and after about an hour when she was sure they were all gone she went outside for a walk.
Halfway down the deck, she saw a man's figure standing at the same spot Fitz liked to smoke, instantly she knew it was him. She wanted to turn back and go to her room but she also felt like they needed to talk. There was that voice in her head, always taking his side and pushing her towards him, it won.
She made her way over to him slowly, he had his back turned to her, smoking as he looked below from the railing of the deck.
Olivia stopped a foot away from him but he didn't turn around.
"I think we should talk."
He blew smoke from his nostrils.
"Talking is the opposite of what I want to do right now."
"Do you want to have sex?" Olivia asked, thinking maybe that's what he was alluding to.
"Not with you."
His comment stung but she brushed it off. "Why would you even suggest it, you idiot," she said to herself.
"Okay look, I'm sorry about what I said the other night, it was wrong and I didn't mean it."
Fitz didn't reply.
"Fitz, don't you want to apologize for what you said?"
"For what?"
"For the whole abortion thing."
"I meant every word I said to you that night."
"So I have to apologize about what I said but you don't."
"You don't have to do anything, in fact, I don't even know why you're here."
"Why are you being like that?"
Fitz turned around.
"Being like what? Like the monster I am, that's why you said right, I'm not worth it, I'm a sex addicted sociopath, if I'm so bad then why the FUCK ARE YOU HERE?"
"I didn't mean that."
"I don't care what you meant, I don't care that you're sorry, I don't care that you're about to start crying, I just don't fucking care so why don't you just leave me the fuck alone."
"I can see that I hurt your feelings-"
"Hurt? Feelings? Do you want me to show you hurt feelings?" he said with an angry, satisfied smirk.
He opened his mouth to tell her off but one look directly at her and stopped himself, he couldn't do it.
"Just get the fuck away from me," he said as he turned away from her.
At that moment she felt like there was nothing she could say that would matter so she turned and walked back to her room.
Exhausted from the argument, she laid on her bed chastising herself for letting him see her cry.
The longer she laid there the more agitated she got after she realized how one sided the blame was and furthermore their relationship wasn't done until she said it was done, whatever that relationship might be. Fitz wasn't impervious to her charms, if it worked once it can work again.
After a few deep breaths she got up and went to look for him again. He wasn't on the deck by the railing so she assumed he went back to his room.
She stood outside his door wanting to knock but she just couldn't.
Fitz laid on his bed staring at the ceiling when he heard a knock. He was hoping it wasn't Olivia but to his chagrin, it was. He half opened the door and leaned against the post.
"What?"
"Can I come on?"
"No."
Olivia walked in regardless and sat on his bed.
"Come sit," she said as she tapped a spot beside her for him to sit, " we need to talk, not yell or argue, we just need to talk."
Fitz closed the door and sat on his bed, leaning against his pillow.
"I'm sorry."
"Olivia I already told you I didn't want to hear it."
"I'm sorry, I know I hurt you but honestly that's what I trying to do because I wanted to get back at you for what you said to me so I used anything I could come up and I went too far, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it and I won't do it again, okay?"
Fitz didn't respond.
"Are we okay?" she asked.
Fitz sighed, "yeah and I guess I'm sorry too."
Olivia smiled realizing it had worked.
"Can you say that again, I'm afraid I didn't hear you."
"Goddammit Olivia, I said I'm sorry too, are you happy now."
"Yes, thank you for apologizing."
They sat quietly for a while until Olivia broke the silence.
"So...do you want to have sex?"
Fitz laughed.
"You missed this dick huh? You miss it! You can't live without it!"
"Oh my god, you're the worst."
"So it's true, I knew that was the only reason you even apologized in the first place, unbelievable!"
"No sex then?"
"What the fuck-no- I didn't say that," he said as he pulled her on top of him and kissed her.
That's how she hoped it would go but that was wishful thinking. After 20 minutes of standing in front of his door she left and went back to her room. She gave up for the night.