Johanna was trembling so much she could hardly walk. Her breathing was shallow and she felt tears prick her eyes. She hadn't realized what she was doing until she heard Annie's voice on the other end of the phone greet her pleasantly. Apparently, her brain had decided the best course of action to take was to call her friend in District 4.

"-you alright? Johanna?"

"I-I'm here," Johanna managed to reply, coming to her senses enough to hear Annie's voice. Her voice was shaky. Annie could tell immediately that something was wrong.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Annie sounded a little panicked. "Johanna, are you seeing your house or somewhere else?"

One time, many years ago, Johanna had such a vivid flashback in District 6 that she was entirely uncertain as to where she was. She had managed to call Annie, however, and had been talked out of it.

"The house… I'm- it's okay. I mean, no I'm not, but I do know where I am." Johanna replied, before sliding her back down the wall to sit on the floor. Her legs felt like they were going to give out any second and she didn't want to fall.

"Well, that's always a good thing. Can you breathe alright?"

"No," Johanna replied, tucking her legs to her chest. Her chest felt tight. But that still wasn't the problem.

"Take some deep breaths and then we'll ta-"

"Annie, I think I'm pregnant."

"Oh," Annie said very quietly on the other end of the line. Neither of them said anything for a long while. "Is that… you're scared, aren't you?"

"I'm terrified. I can't do this!" Johanna admitted, leaning her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "I can't be someone's mother. I'm too fu-messed up. Annie, I can't do this. I really, really can't!"

"Hey now, easy. Take a deep breath for me."

Johanna did as she was told. It was hard, but she did it. And she felt a little less shaky afterwards.

"Have you and Gale ever talked about… anything like this?"

Johanna shook her head, but then realized Annie couldn't see her. "No. Nothing. Never." Truth be told, not once had she ever thought of Gale as her boyfriend or anything similar. Labels like that seemed arbitrary to her her whole life, and especially so after the war. That coupled with the fact that both Gale and herself thought only of the past and present as if the future could still be yanked out from under them didn't really allow much room for serious discussions about anything that could come later.

"I think you ought to now." Annie replied gently.

"You think?" Johanna asked, harsher than she expected, pushing her hand into her hair. "Sorry… I didn't mean to… sound that way."

"It's alright. We all say things we don't mean when we're upset."

"What do I do?" Johanna asked, on the verge of tears.

"Well first of all, I think you should find out for sure before you get too worked up. And then you need to think about what you want to do if you are."

"I'm not even supposed to be able to have a kid!" It was true. After the war, it had been pretty much a fact that all the things she had gone through in the Capitol would pretty much prevent her from ever having a child, which was fine for her, as she was certain she had never wanted children. "I guess those freaking doctors were wrong!"

Johanna ran her hand down her face. She felt hot and cold all at once.

"Perhaps they weren't, darling," Annie suggested. She tended to call everyone that when talking about sensitive things or when people were upset. She knew she did it because of Finnley, but was unable to prevent herself from calling her adult friends that as well. Everyone found it rather endearing. "Maybe you're just late… sometimes that happens."

"I can't- Annie I don't want a baby."

"Why?"

Johanna scowled at the personal question. Annie didn't tend to ask those things. And besides, it wasn't her business anyway. "Excuse me?"

"Just tell me why. It'll help you if you say it."

"I'm scared," Johanna admitted. "No one would want me for a mother. I've killed people. I've seen things no one should ever have to see. And I know I'm not the nicest person. I'd be an awful mother… and I don't want to be responsible for ruining a kid's life when I've already been responsible for too much of that."

"I was scared too. When I found out about Finnley, I cried for days. It is scary. It's never not scary. Even though I don't have to worry about loosing him when he turns twelve."

"I'm not like you. You're a good person."

"You're a good person too. And for what it's worth, I think you would be a wonderful mother."

Johanna sighed loudly. "Would it be terrible of me to get rid of it?" The silent question of if Annie would think of Johanna as a terrible person hung in the air.

"Of course not," Annie assured. "It's your choice. It's always what you want and what will be best for you. But like I said, I hope you will find out for sure and talk about things before deciding anything or worrying too much."

"Yeah… I should…" Johanna trailed off, resting her head in her hand and surveying the living room she was sitting in. She should. But even the thoughts of doing those things scared her. Perhaps she wasn't as strong as she thought she was.

"I really hate to go, Johanna, but it's time for me to go get Finnley from school. But please, please call me if you need to talk about this. Any time."

"I will," Johanna promised. "Thank you."

"Of course. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Annie,"

"Goodbye,"

Johanna hung up the phone and put her head on her knees and sighed. She felt a bit better, but she still didn't trust herself to stand. Sure, it was possible that she wasn't pregnant. In fact, it was more likely that she wasn't. But she couldn't shake the thought of a baby from her head. The hand that wasn't holding the phone brushed lightly over her abdomen.

"No," she mumbled to herself, sitting back up. No, absolutely not. She wasn't going to have a baby. She couldn't. She really couldn't. She shook her head and dialed the only other phone number she knew by heart.

Annie was sweet and kind and gentle, but Johanna didn't want that right now.

The phone rang three times before it was answered. "Hey Johanna,"

"Hi Katniss."

"Why are you calling?"

A small smile crept onto Johanna's face. Katniss was to the point. Always. The smile slipped off her face as she remembered why she was calling. She looked back to the floor. "I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I think I'm pregnant."

"What?"

The voice she heard was not Katniss'. She looked up to the front door, where Gale stood in the doorway, staring at her wide-eyed. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts hadn't heard him open the door. She was unable to breathe again.

"Johanna? Johanna! Did I hear you right? Jo? What happened? Are yo-"

Katniss' voice was cut off when Johanna hung up the phone. The phone fell to the floor.

Neither Gale or Johanna said a word for a very long time.

;)