This one takes place a few months after Valentine's Day. I know this one is unplanned, and I hope it doesn't come across as cheesy.
Being alone doesn't always mean being lonely, at least that's what she had always believed. Only, that night was an exception.
Elsa almost forgot how lonely she could be, living on her own in a flat in London, until she got sick. In her current state, gone was all the hope, the thoughts that everything would be alright. She missed her fiancé and her sister terribly. Even the virtual date, that she had to cut short thanks to her dizziness, did nothing to ease the pain in her chest.
As she lied in the dark, under the comforter, Elsa felt like crying. She was a resilient woman, but that night, it felt as if everything came crashing down all at once. And being left alone with her own thoughts certainly didn't help.
The past few weeks, Elsa had been so busy with her own thesis, while preparing for her graduation in two weeks. She mostly stayed up all night to revise for the finals, and finished her thesis. Sometimes it was her mind that kept her up, whether she was thinking about Anna or she was reminiscing about her time with Hans.
Her mouth curved into a scowl, as she recalled the look of concern on his face, when she told him she wasn't feeling well. Elsa hated to be a burden, knowing that Hans had had a long day. The point of their virtual date was to enlighten each other's days, yet it went downhill the moment he asked if she was alright.
Hans knew her so very well, and she couldn't really hide nor escape from his questions. When he asked if she hadn't been sleeping and eating enough, he frowned, before telling her that she should have looked after herself. He meant well, she knew that, but she already felt unwell she ended up being snappy. Now that she had taken an ibuprofen and felt a little better, Elsa began to regret it.
She turned to lay on her side, facing the nightstand. Her blue eyes gazed on the framed photograph of a happy couple. Him and her looked so happy, as Hans held her from behind. Lifting up her left hand, she admired the ring on her finger, something to remind her that Hans was hers. She regretted the small fight that night, and began to think of the worst.
What if Hans changed his mind?
Elsa wanted to blame her fever solely for that thought, but the question did make sense, at least to her. Long distance relationships are hard, that's what most people said, only a few couples could make it. She closed her eyes, trying to shove that thought towards the back of her head. No, Hans loves me, and I love him, she reassured. We will be alright, we will make it.
But she couldn't deny that there was something like doubts, plaguing her mind, tugging her guts. Elsa just wished it was her fever playing tricks with her brain. With a sigh, she reached out for her smartphone, and scrolled through the voice memos. Her thumb quickly tapped on that one particular recording, one she often listened to on one of these days. Putting her phone on the pillow next to her, she looked back to the small jewellery on her finger.
"Hi, Elsa!" The familiar voice filled the room, making her smile. "I know you told me not to do this, I mean, recording my own voice while talking about the good memories we have shared." He chuckled. "But I can't help it, Kaere. The idea is too good to pass on."
Elsa always loved the intro. Yes, she did think that the idea was silly, ever since Hans suggested it.
"Based on this really good article on the internet that you called silly, the key to long distance relationships is communication, you hear me? Communication. And I feel like this can be a way for me to communicate with you, my love." He said. "The best thing about it is that you don't have to talk back—like, I know you don't really like talking, so maybe this can be your companion while you're working on your schoolwork, or something else. Not that I am saying that I have a nice voice to listen to, but you have to admit that, in fact, I do." She could picture the smirk on his face when he said the last sentence.
"Or maybe you can listen to this during one of those nights when you can't sleep." There was a pause. "All I know, I decided to record this for when you miss me, whether you like it or not."
"Back to what the article said here," she could hear him clearing his throat, "I should talk about the good memories we have shared. I have too many to say, but I'm afraid that would be too long, so I'll pick the top three." Elsa knew he was smiling sheepishly as he added, "I hope you don't mind."
Not at all. She wanted to reply. By now she knew every single thing he said by heart, for she had played it so many times.
"The first one would be our first meeting in that library. I admit, it was very, how do you put it, strange for me to approach you that day. But you looked really down, and I wondered if something bad happened to you." He sighed. "You were worried about the finals, doubting yourself because you didn't answer the last question. But surprisingly, you didn't push me away, which was a relief." He let out a chuckle. Elsa felt her heart swell as she, too, reminisced about that day. She admitted, she was surprised to see the Danish guy coming to talk to her, but there was something about him that made her want to open up. Perhaps it was his friendly nature.
"We then met up the next day, and you told me that you passed the test with flying colours. I admit, you were just so different than any other girls. When we talked, we just clicked. It's like we read each other's minds, and I thought to myself, this Norwegian girl is one of a kind."
Even after years, the story about their first meeting never failed to give her butterflies.
"Okay, now onto the second memory." He said. "Hmm, it's probably about our first date?
"I wasn't sure how to ask you, so I told you I've planned a one day trip to Hamburg as a reward for your exam results. You told me I was crazy, but the thing is I do love crazy!" Hans recalled. "I knew you couldn't resist, and so we went to Hamburg. We had a fun day, didn't we?"
Elsa nodded.
"But at that ice cream parlour, you asked if it was a date, since I've planned everything. I freaked out and told you that you might call it whatever you want." He sighed. "To be honest, I wasn't expecting you to say it was."
Biting her lower lip, the blonde couldn't help but remember how correct her intuition was. Perhaps it was Anna who got into her head. When Hans told her about the trip, she did tell her sister about it, and Anna told her it might be a date. Her little sister even gave her a briefing about potential body languages, which Elsa thought was silly. But Anna was right, it was indeed a date.
"Anyway, you were so excited that day, which was something I didn't get to see every day. Your smile, there's always something about your smile. It's contagious. The next thing I knew, I was smiling too."
She blinked furiously, for the compliment was too much. She feared she would explode with joy.
"Right, onto the third one. This is probably a favourite of mine, so please prepare yourself for a meltdown from your boyfriend."
Boyfriend. The word only showed how long the recording had stayed in her phone. Hans recorded it on the night before her flight to London, when she was asleep. And it was a surprise when she found it in her phone just a week after that.
"It's not exactly the moment we shared together, but you were definitely on my mind." Hans took a deep breath, as if he was preparing for a big reveal. But of course, Elsa had already known that. "I knew not love before I met you."
"You know how my relationship with my brothers has been. As the youngest of thirteen, I was rather neglected. The household I grew up in isn't exactly friendly. My father and mother are always arguing, my older brothers are bullying the younger ones—there are so many unfortunate events happening under the roof, which I'm not proud of. I tried, my goodness, I tried to not turn into any of them. But I don't think it would have succeeded, had I not met you.
"It's you, Kaere, the moment I knew you, I saw you interacting with your sister whenever she comes to visit with your Aunt and Uncle, I noticed how kind you treat everyone around you—and like your smile, your kindness is contagious. You have shown me that there's still a little love in this world, and then I found myself falling for you. It was after our third date, which I considered as quick." He paused. "Thank you."
It was as if she heard his confession for the first time, that Elsa found herself shedding a tear. She closed her eyes, letting his love seep into her skin, to engulf her with warmth. It was his openness that made her fall, his naked soul that is so raw for her to touch. And she found herself falling for him all over again. She sobbed.
"I know that right now, we are separated miles away from each other. I am dying to hold you, to kiss you, to make love to you." It made her smile despite the tears that blurred her vision. "I'll miss seeing your smile in the morning, gosh, I already imagine how painful it'll be, being alone during some long nights."
Like now, Elsa thought.
"But please know that I will always be here for you, no matter what. Something tells me we'll be alright." He murmured. "And I hope we will stay alright. I will always think about you. If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call me, okay? Even if it's the middle of the night, I will be there for you."
He kept his words. But still, she was the reason why they were separated from each other in the first place.
"You are the strongest woman I know, Elsa. You can get through it, I know you can. We do this together, and we will make it work, do you hear me?" She choked a sob, nodding furiously to no one but her own self. "Elsa, it's not your fault. I truly support you in your studies. It's only temporary. Besides, there are holidays where we can meet. It would be alright."
His words were dripping with reassurance, and once again, Elsa found comfort in his voice—the deep, smooth, baritone voice that could soothe her, lulling her to sleep. Oh how she missed him. It wasn't enough. The recording only gave her his voice not his presence. She was in tears, once again.
"Stay strong, min Kaere, my love." There was a slight pause, before he continued, "I'm not going anywhere."
Elsa smiled through her tears and mouthed the words along, "I love you."
The recording had ended, leaving the room in a total silence. After a good fifteen minutes, her breathing had calmed down. The crying, and her fever had worn her off and she was too exhausted to reach for her phone and to turn it off. Lying on her back, she could feel her body temperature raising once again. She grew dizzier by the second, and her blue eyes fluttered closed. Wiping the tears off her face furiously, her mind went racing. Two more weeks, Elsa. She told herself. She would see Hans in two weeks, all she needed to do was to stay strong.
Hans. Her fiancé was the last thing on her mind, before she drifted to a dreamless sleep.
The next morning, she woke up feeling a little better. Perhaps a few hours of sleep could help her recover. She stole a glance at the nightstand and noticed that it was eight o'clock in the morning. But one thing was odd, she felt someone breathing down her neck.
Slowly, Elsa turned her head, and she was greeted by her sleeping fiancé. She blinked once, then twice, thinking that perhaps her fever had messed up her mind. But he was still there, one arm was draped over her stomach.
Her fingers went to comb through his auburn hair, which still felt as soft as the last time she laid beside him in their home in Copenhagen. Blue eyes were staring intently, from his relaxed brows, down to the slope of his nose, to his lips, and Elsa went to cup his cheek, which was now covered with some growing facial hair. His beard looks better in person, she admitted.
Eventually, his eyes fluttered open. He gazed at her gently, as if drinking in her form, while she flashed him a smile.
"Morning, Kaere," the moment Hans greeted her by her nickname, Elsa smiled wider.
"Morning." Her hand was still holding his face, enjoying the rough texture of his cheek and jaw.
When Hans leaned in to kiss her, she quickly stopped him. "No, I'm sick!" She said. "I don't want you to get sick too."
He nodded, settling to kiss her nose instead, turning her cheeks crimson.
"When did you get here?"
"I booked the earliest flight this morning. I just arrived here a half an hour ago. You were still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you." He replied, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear.
"You're not supposed to be here until two weeks." She frowned.
Hans smiled, holding her wrist. "I know. But I asked one of my brothers, Lars, to fill me in while I'm gone, and he agreed to help."
Realisation began to sink in, that he took an early holiday from his work. He even asked one of his brothers to take over his shift just so he could see her.
"Elsa," he could tell what she was thinking and went to caress her cheek. "I can't just stay back home, knowing that you're sick and on your own." He whispered, holding her close. Nuzzling her blonde hair, he closed his eyes. "Besides, I've missed you."
Elsa could feel her heart swell with joy, as she nestled in his arms. She moved to rest her forehead against his, pulling him in so the single bed would fit for the two of them. His eyes were still closed, and she noticed how the only thing that changed about him was his growing facial hair. Scanning over his face, Elsa noticed a dried trail down his cheek. Has he been crying?
"I've missed you too."
Hans smiled, green eyes were now staring into hers in adoration. Gently, he pressed his lips on her cheek, earning himself a giggle.
"How are you feeling, Kaere?"
"Loved."
Elsa sighed in contentment, resting her head over his beating heart. Sure, she was still a little dizzy, and sweaty, but to have him so close to her after being away for months made her feel slightly better.
He traced his fingers over the exposed skin of her arms, back and forth. "I'm serious." He looked down to her smiling face, his other hand pressed against her forehead. He frowned, realising that she still had a fever. "Rest up, while I make you some soup, yeah?"
But Elsa didn't want to let go. She just got him back, and perhaps it was her fever that made her a little clingy, but she just wanted to have him close for a little longer. She had been yearning for this moment for months.
"Five more minutes, please." The blonde mottered, making herself comfortable in his embrace. She closed her eyes, one hand clinged onto his white undershirt. "Five more minutes, and that's all."
Hans had no choice but to oblige. After all, he, too, missed his fiancee very much. Pulling the blanket over her shoulder, he pressed a gentle kiss on her temple.
"I'm not going anywhere." Came his low murmur. "I love you."
Her smile grew even wider, when she realised that it wasn't For When You Miss Me that she listened to. It was Hans, in flesh, holding her close to him. For the first time in months, she finally felt like she was home.
"And I love you." She whispered softly, as sleep began to engulf her, once again.
Writing is my way of coping, I did say this to some of my readers. As I have been dealing with a personal problem that leads to my compassion fatigue and stuff, I decided to write as much as I can to get everything out of my system-all the feelings, the ideas. So, yeah. Sorry for being sappy in the notes, I just want to share it that is all. Hope you have a great week ahead!