"That'll be $2.99 please" The monotone octopus sighed wearily.
He was tired of the same old routine. Customer placed an order, he took it, the annoying sponge back in the kitchen made it and handed it to him. Rinse and repeat. Living in a place like Bikini Bottom wasn't without its thrills. If you stuck around long enough, there was sure to be the excitement of a science experiment gone wrong or a high speed boat chase, but it was the dull events of a routine that really got on the cephalopod's nerves. He remembered when the Krusty Krab had class (and he had hair) those were the days. Squidward sighed forlornly, resting his chin on the edge of the cash register and allowing his mind to wander into a fantasy of a more lavish profession, such as being a famous composer.
SpongeBob Squarepants, on the other hand, could not have been more different. Not only did he enjoy the routine a shift at the Krusty Krab brought, but he practically worshipped the run down old restaurant, grease and all. There were other enjoyments to him, of course, such as jelly fishing or karate, but if he had to choose just one, then flipping patties in the back of the humid kitchen would have topped them all.
The sponge hummed happily to himself as he set to work arranging the perfect order for the customer; flipping the patty just at the right time so it was neither under nor overdone, but perfectly cooked all the way through. Next was the order of the bun that made the Krabby Patty ... well, a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob giggled with delight as he arranged the ingredients to perfection, and passed through the plate onto the order window, hitting the bell with a little 'brring' as he did so.
"Here's your food sir" Squidward sighed, handing over the plate to the fish who had been patiently waiting.
As soon as the plate left the grip of Squidward's tentacle, the door to 's office slammed open, and the red crustacean jumped merrily out, hooting and hollering and shaking the hands, fins, claws and tentacles of everyone in the diner. Next, he produced a rather large party popper and pulled the string just over Squidward's head, showering the mollusc in streams of confetti whilst he stood as emotionless as ever.
Hearing the commotion, SpongeBob poked his head through the order window excitedly.
"What's going on, Mr.K?" He inquired, his eyes shining hopefully.
"Oohoho boys, ye did it!" The crab grinned gleefully "Ye sold me one millionth krabby patty!"
"YEAH!" SpongeBob yelled back, causing Squidward to flinch at the volume. The sponge ran around the side of the kitchen and started playing in the left over confetti, tossing handfuls in the air and doing a little dance of joy whilst customers clapped politely.
"What are we gonna do to celebrate Mr.K?" the frycook beamed "We could hold a huge Krabby Patty celebration! Ooh ooh or fry the world's biggest patty ever or hold a parade!" The sponge was practically bursting with excitement at this point, running up and down the length of the diner.
"Or we could have the rest of the day off" Squidward laughed nasally.
"Eh, I was thinking something with more ... taste in a different way" scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Something to really bring in the crowds, y'know? With style"
"How about a Krabby Patty play?" the cashier laughed, burying his nose in one of his magazines, already bored with the topic.
"That's an excellent idea ! You can be in charge of the production!"
"Really?" The octopus sounded a little surprised but he quickly changed his attitude "To host my own stage show~ Alright, fine I'll do it. At least one us has the talent to pull it off~"
"Whoo go Squidqard!" SpongeBob cheered, then paused for a second looking thoughtful "And what do I do?"
"You uhh, you can help Squidward"
"WHOOOO!"
"Oh no"
"So it's settled" Mr. Krabs rubbed his claws together gleefully. "The Krusty Krab will hold a stage show tonight in celebration of it's millionth krabby patty being sold! Ooh, I'll go and start the flyers-"
"T-t-tonight?!" Squidward's jaw dropped suddenly "Mr. Krabs how am I supposed to pull together a decent show by this evening?"
"Ooh – well you'll work it out" The boss shrugged, and went into his office. A few moments later, he opened the door again. "Oh and uh, since you're me employees and all, ye can both bring a plus one. Provided ye pay fer their ticket of course, agagagagag" And with that, he slammed the office door again with a resolute thud.
"Yeah, no thanks" Squidward crinkled his nose with disgust "I'll just work on organising this stupid stage event then"
"Ooh what can I do, Squidward?" SpongeBob asked, looking hopefully up at the cephalopod.
"You can uhhh" the octopus looked around the restaurant, searching for some way to get the frycook distracted so he could work alone. An idea came to him, and he did his best to put on a charming voice. "Whyyy don't you go and find your plus one, hmm? I'm sure you have lots of friends and they'd be soooo excited to see my- uh, OUR, play right? I have it all under control~"
"Ooh, good idea Squidward" The sponge winked "I'll go and find someone and see you tonight!"
"Yes well don't be too quick" The cashier muttered under his breath, picking up his phone to call for a couple hundred planks of wood and a blueprint.
The water outside the Krusty Krab was of a rather pleasant temperature that morning. So much so that dozens of bikini bottomites were mingling about the town and parks and generally enjoying the day. Some were walking snails or worms, some had their kids out on their bikes and others were simply stopping to chat to the greengrocer or baker on their way to and from work. As far as an underwater town could go, Bikini Bottom was generally among the quieter ones, except for when something dramatic such as a zombie invasion happened every once in a while. SpongeBob looked around the citizens, considering. He couldn't just give his plus one to anybody of course, it was a special honour that had bestowed upon him and intended to uphold its treasure. This of course left him with some of his better friends, such as Sandy the squirrel or Larry the lobster, both of who SpongeBob figured would be happy to attend if he offered. But if he was going to pick any bikini bottomite to join him, he knew in his heart there was only one choice. Grinning widely, he hitched up his socks and continued towards the direction of Conch Street.
Patrick Star had spent the morning gluing together a scrapbook of his own. He was having a little problem with a lack of fingers as the glue was getting everywhere, and he wasn't the neatest starfish to begin with. But to him it was worth it, as he was arranging a new collection of his favourite photographs of him and SpongeBob. He already had a whole trunk of other favourite photographs stowed away, but as the years went by, so did the number of pictures, and he treasured all of them dearly, having very few other worldly possessions.
Recently, the starfish had been having some feelings he didn't quite understand. Patrick wasn't the brightest bulb in the ocean, even he knew that, but he had always thought he could at least understand his own emotions. But these ones were quite new, and he wasn't entirely sure whether they were good or bad ones either. As it so happened, he had been feeling a little funny every time he saw his sponge friend. Something about his smile made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, but not in the way it usually did. Usually he was just happy to see him; they were BFF's after all. No, this was something different. The closest feeling he could think of was when he saw mermaids – he thought they were pretty and he had a similar warm feeling to the sight of them. But that was silly, Patrick would consider himself to have a crush on these mermaids, and surely he couldn't feel that way about SpongeBob ... could he?
He was just mulling this over when there was a knock at his rock. He put down his supplies and went to greet his guest. When the rock opened, he saw a familiar face grinning down at him. There were those feelings again. Something about the freckles on his cheeks, or the bright blue eyes – it was practically adorable! But again, this was his buddy – surely Patrick couldn't actually be thinking that, could he?
"Oh uh, hey SpongeBob, what's up?" Patrick grinned, wringing his hands together nervously.
"Hiya Pat! Exciting news" SpongeBob puffed up his chest proudly, seemingly oblivious to his friend's mood "We just sold our one millionth ever Krabby Patty!"
"Ooh congratulations!" The starfish grinned "So uh, now what?"
"Ooh yes – is holding a stage show at the Krusty Krab tonight, and he's given us plus one invites! So I wanted to invite you Patrick, since you're my best friend and all"
"Hooray!" Patrick smiled, but it was semi-forced. SpongeBob looked so happy talking about the play and his job, and when SpongeBob was happy, his whole face lit up, and that's the look that was contagious. When SpongeBob smiled, Patrick wanted to smile too.
"But I guess the show isn't till tonight"
The frycook's voice brought his friend back to his senses.
"And Squidward said he had the play under control – wanna go jellyfishing in the meantime?"
"Oh, uh, sure SpongeBob" Patrick chuckled nervously "I'll go get my net-"
By now it was midday, and the water had warmed up considerably more so than earlier, which made for a pleasant jelly fishing atmosphere. As the friend's approached the green fields, they caught sight of several common species floating lazily by along the ocean current.
"Betcha I can catch twice as many as you can, Pat!" SpongeBob called, darting quickly ahead with Ol' Reliable, already scooping a small pink jellyfish into the net.
Patrick sighed internally. Deep down he didn't feel much like jellyfishing that day – he'd much rather just spend the time talking to his friend. But he didn't want to let him down either, so he forced a grin and charged ahead. After a while, it became fun and the starfish was temporarily distracted from his other thoughts. The two friend's spent a fun afternoon chasing the jellies across the fields, only stopping when one or both got stung, only to laugh it off and continue their adventure. Luckily the jellyfish were in a jovial mood that afternoon and stings were few and far between. By the end of the session, it was approaching the evening and the two stopped to rest a while before they continued along to the Krusty Krab.
The ocean sky was just beginning to show slivers of dusk on the horizon, with strips of pink sliding through the blue and flowers above them.
"Isn't it stunning?" The sponge asked, lying back on the grass as he turned his eyes skyward. Patrick had been staring at him again, trying to figure out why his tummy had a weird fluttery feeling only when he looked at him, so he hadn't been concentrating too much on his friend's question.
"Well, I think so-"
"You think?" SpongeBob turned his eyes towards his friend, and then gestured upwards. "Look at those pink streaks in the sky, Pat – don'tcha think pink is a pretty colour?"
The starfish's own pink cheeks turned a light shade of red.
"Ooh uh, I guess I could say pink is one of my favourites" He smiled bashfully "D-do you like pink then?"
"Well sure Pat!" It's the colour of jellyfish and flowers and coral and-" The sponge stopped for a moment, and grinned "And you Patrick!" He put an arm around his friend "And you're one of my favourite things, Pat!"
There it was again, the weird fluttery feeling. Patrick tried to ignore it, but it seemed to grow stronger when the frycook touched him.
"Hehe, and you're one of my favourite things too" The starfish smiled, and he meant it.
There was a moment's pause as the two friends looked at each other, feeling as though something had just passed between them that they couldn't quite identify. Before either of them could point it out however, the timer on SpongeBob's watch went off. Patrick looked a little disappointed, but he quickly concealed it with a look of excitement as SpongeBob grinned and pointed at the time.
"Ooh goodness Pat, look at the time!" The frycook jumped up, grabbing his friend's arm. "We gotta get back to the Krusty Krab!"
"Ooh uh, can't wait to see that show, heh" Patrick sighed; starting to follow as the sponge ran ahead, wishing he could his thoughts off his mind.
The two arrived at the Krusty Krab just in time to see Squidward running out of the front doors, frantically waving at an ambulance that had pulled up alongside the diner. A brown fish was lying on the stretcher, frantically yelling "my leg!" as the two paramedic's wheeled him quickly through the doors.
"Fred wait - come back!" Squidward called desperately, but the ambulance peeled away from the curb and left the cephalopod coughing in a cloud of dust. "Now where am I gonna find a star for this show?"
"Ooh me, me, me! Pick me!"
"And thus the moron is back-" Squidward turned to face the eager fry cook who was hopping up and down on one leg excitedly, waving his hand in the air.
"Pick me Squidward! I wanna be a star!"
"Mm, SpongeBob I'd let you be the star if I was looking for a lawsuit. This role needs someone less ... bouncy. Like uhhh" Squidward looked around desperately looking for someone else – ANYONE else. But of course the only people out there were himself, the sponge and Patrick. Well, it'd have to do, Patrick may have been one barnacle short of a hull but he wasn't SpongeBob and that counted for something. "Pa-Patrick?"
"Whooo! Go Pat! You get to be a star!"
"I- I do?" The starfish blinked, confused.
"Yes, yes just come through backstage" Squidward sighed, pulling him along into the Krusty Krab behind a large makeshift wooden stage.
Backstage (which was actually the kitchen) fish stood around in all manner of costumes – a lot of which looked quite out of place amongst the condiments and deep fryers and all of which seemed to be from different historical eras which was quite unusual.
"Right, Patrick" Squidward placed his hands on the starfish's shoulders "Are you ready to be a star?"
"W-well I'm not sure Squidward – wouldn't you prefer to be in this play?"
"Well I would" The cephalopod sighed "But alas these amateur actors need me more. So-" He thrust a script into Patrick's hand "Start learning"
"Oh um" Patrick looked down at the script. The tiny little words seemed to mingle together on the page due to their size, and he wasn't even sure which part he was supposed to be. He tried to call out to Squidward, but the cashier was currently yelling at a couple of anchovies that had apparently messed up their costumes. The starfish looked back down at his script, deciding he might as well try his best for the evening. At any rate, all the hubbub was drowning out his other, rather confused thoughts.
Out in the main diner, had arranged the tables around the centre stage, and used a couple of homemade spotlight lamps (which were made from a lightbulb inside a lampshade) to illuminate the front. Guests were gathered around eating Krabby Patties and the crustacean was gladly accepting donations by the front door. SpongeBob sat at one of the front tables, closest to the stage, eagerly awaiting the exciting performance for their accomplishment of having sold one million Krabby Patties earlier that day. Why, the whole restaurant was swimming with the smell of the freshly prepared sandwiches, and the little fry cook loved every inch of it. He had total faith in Squidward to pull together the best show ever, even without his help. After all, how often had the octopus ever failed something important, ey?
Suddenly, the overhead lights dimmed to black, and there was a small rustle in the curtains as Squidward made his entrance.
"Ladies and gentlefish! He beamed, holding a copy of his script close to his chest "For one night – aaand one night only, I give you; A Day In The Life Of A Cashier! Written and directed by ME, Squidward . I'm sure you're all very excited to watch this, so without further ado – let us ... BEGIN"
The mollusc bowed low as the audience clapped politely, dying down as the first act came onto the stage and the show began. The show seemed to consist of a somewhat narcissistic view point based on Squidward's life as a cashier. Larry was playing Squidward as the octopus thought he "was similar to his body type" and the show seemed to mostly consist of customers coming into the Krusty Krab, complimenting 'Squidward' and making reference to how cheap was, how 'Squidward' could probably give the diner a touch of class, and having SpongeBob be played by a hyperactive fish who's laugh sounded absolutely nothing like the fry cook's. At the end of each scene, the fish clapped – mostly out of pity for the actors than genuine enjoyment of the show.
Backstage, Patrick was still trying to work out what he was supposed to say when he found himself being quickly ushered behind the curtains, dropping his script in the process. He tried to call out about it, but Squidward had already pushed him through onto the stage. The spotlights were hot, and Patrick stood in terror as he saw the sea of faces looking expectantly up at him.
"This is the big one, Squiddy – you're shining star" The octopus grinned to himself backstage. Patrick had been given the part Squidward loved the most – the biggest, longest speech about his past and accomplishments. He couldn't wait to relish in it. But something was wrong. Patrick was frozen on the stage, unable to conjure up even the sentence about the Krusty Krab cashier's multiple talents.
"Patrick what are you doing?" He hushed through the fabric "Don't you know your lines?!"
"U-uhhh no-" Patrick whispered back, feeling his knees shaking slightly in fear, noticing how the audience was still looking up at him expectantly.
The cephalopod face palmed hard; this was NOT going according to his plan.
"Oh fine, fine, just make something up"
"M-M-make something u-up?"
"Yeah sure whatever, just tell them how much you love Krabby Patties so we can move onto the next scene"
"Oh um, ok" Patrick took a couple of tentative steps forwards. "I uhh ... I love Krabby Patties because they're uhh ... nice"
Silence. There was a cough from someone in the audience.
Patrick gulped, rubbing the back of his neck.
Focus Patrick. Focus on something. Uhh – SpongeBob.
SpongeBob was in the crowd, giving his friend a double thumb up of encouragement. That would work. Something about his face seemed to calm Patrick's nerves at any rate.
"I uhh, I get Krabby Patties at the Krusty Krab" Patrick heard himself say, and he felt just a little bit better "My best friend SpongeBob makes them!"
The sponge beamed, looking modest.
"And uh, well the thing about these Krabby Patties is that they're the best – SpongeBob makes them because that's what he does the best. And SpongeBob is good at a lot of things" The starfish's mind began to wander slightly, as though all of his thoughts – which had been so far bottled up – came pouring out in the moment. "Like jellyfishing! He's one of the best jellyfishers I know, and he's kind too, always lets them go – an-an-and another thing he's good at? That Karate thing, he looks sooo cool when he does it. And he's the best bubble blower I know, and he plays ukulele really well-"
By now the audience was actually captured. No one made a sound as they were all too curious to hear out this speech.
"And when I come to get a Krabby Patty from this, uh, restaurant, he's always happy and smiling and his smile makes me feel kinda warm and when he laughs I get a weird fluttery feeling like there's jellyfish in my tummy and sometimes I feel the same way when I look at mermaids, except I think I like mermaids and it makes me feel weird – SpongeBob is my best friend in the whole world and I don't wanna lose him ... but recently I find it weird when I see him ... like ... like maybe I like him just more than my best friend because of all the amazing things he does and makes and how he cheers me up if I'm sad so ... yeah ... that's what I have to say"
Silence. An even longer silence than before. Not even a cough. Nobody clapped. Patrick couldn't quite make out SpongeBob's face in the crowd anymore because his vision was swimming as his eyes watered up. He turned, and fled off stage past Squidward, who was also a little speechless.
Outside the back of the Krusty Krab, Patrick took a deep breath and leant against the door, sliding down it till he was sitting on the floor, where he proceeded to bury his head into his arms and sob quietly. How could he have been such a fool? He didn't know what had come over him – it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing, and yet here he was proclaiming the fact he thought he might possibly have fallen in love with his best friend to the entire town. And what of SpongeBob's reaction? He hadn't seen his face. Would the sponge refuse to talk to him now? Would Patrick have to leave town, or move back in with his parents? Perhaps he should pick another name ... like ... Yatrick Bar. A perfect disguise. Oh if only the starfish had a time machine, then he could go back to the start of the day and never join Squidward's stupid play in the first place. That way he'd still have his best fri-
"Need a tissue?"
"Oh thanks, SpongeBob" Patrick smiled gratefully, taking the handkerchief and wiping his eyes "W- SpongeBob? W-what are you doing here?"
"Making sure you're ok, silly!" The fry cook sat beside his friend on the ground. "I uhh, heh I guess we all heard what you said up there"
"Mm, you must think I'm pretty silly" Patrick sighed, drawing circles in the dirt.
"Not at all!" SpongeBob beamed, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders and making the starfish blush slightly "We're BFFS Patrick – you can tell me anything ... heh, even those kinds of things."
"But erm, aren't you going to feel awkward? Around me I mean" Patrick rubbed his arm nervously "I can't really help that and I don't wanna have to lose you and run away and change my name to Yatrick Bar and-"
"What are you talking about, silly?" SpongeBob laughed "You don't have to run away – you'd have a hard job too cause if you left I'd just follow you"
"You would?" Patrick smiled, a wave of relief washing over him.
"Well sure ..." The fry cook looked down at his shoes, fiddling with the laces "I uh- I guess I don't say too much Patrick but well ... I kinda know how you feel heh"
"Y-you do? You mean-"
"Mmhn" The sponge still didn't look up, but Patrick knew he was being honest – he could always tell when it came to his friend. A few moments of silence passed, and the two just watched the sunset. The ocean sky was starting to get a lot darker now, and the pink stripes from earlier had begun to merge into the yellow's of the sunset. A couple of jellyfish floated by, and for the moment everything seemed calm.
"So now what?" Patrick asked at long last, keeping his eyes focused forwards on the setting sun.
"Who knows Patrick, who knows" SpongeBob smiled, and held his hand, making the starfish blush. "It's a new day tomorrow, let's wait and see what happens then"
"Ooh, heh ok- but what about the rest of the night?"
"Well, the nights still young my friend – whaddya say to a goofy goober surprise?"
The starfish grinned.
"You're on"