One and a half weeks later.
Fitz carried Lily's carseat into the doctor's office. It was Lily's one month check up.
They closed the door behind them and then Fitz rested the carseat on the ground and unstrapped Lily. Olivia walked over and took her from Fitz.
The doctor walked in, only moments after them, followed by the nurse.
"Hey mom and dad," the doctor said. "Lily is nice and healthy, she clocks in at 9 pounds and 9 ounces which is pretty normal for a one month old. She is on the taller spectrum of an average one month old though, she's 22.7 inches."
"She's quite lanky, she'll be tall like her father," Olivia said as she caressed Lily's golden brown hair.
The nurse had already pre-examined Lily and questioned Olivia in examination room.
"So come on, tell me, any questions or concerns?" the doctor asked as she sat on the swiveling stool.
"Uh, no, I think the nurse sort of answered all the questions we had. She's been a really good baby, she drinks alot, sleep alot, her poop is fine, I mean,- do you have any questions Fitz?"
"I just had that one question but the nurse answered it."
"Okay, so can I just get her on the table," the doctor said as she got up from her stool and walked to the baby exam table. She pulled a sheet of white paper across the cushiony fabric.
"Sure," Olivia responded as she walked Lily over to the table.
"Can you take off her onesie," the doctor requested.
Fitz walked over to help Olivia as she undressed Lily.
"So," the doctor began, "have you been giving Lily tummy time?"
"I only began this week and I only did it for about 10 minutes a day for two days."
"Why not more?"
"I don't know, I feel like she's too young and she really hates it. She screamed the entire time."
"It's important for her to learn to balance her head and strengthen her muscles, so tummy time is a good thing and eventually she'll get accustomed to it."
"Okay, I'll do it more."
"What about when she hears your voice, does she quiet down?"
"Actually," Olivia began, "she does but more so when she hears her dad's voice, he sings to her alot, that works."
Fitz chuckled cockily.
"Stop," Olivia scolded, jokingly.
"Okay, okay," he responded.
Once Olivia had Lily's onesie off and all Lily was left in was her diaper and socks, the doctor began inspecting Lily's belly button to check if it was healing properly after the umbilical cord fell off.
"Is she moving her legs and arms equally?"
"Yes," Olivia responded. "Alot."
The doctor took her time, looking over Lily and once she was done she turned to Olivia.
"Okay, so I'm gonna give her the hepatitis b shot."
"Oh no," Olivia said as she rubbed Lily stomach gently.
"She's going to a new state so I'm giving her this shot now and then her doctor in California will give her two shots at her 2 month check up."
The nurse handed the doctor a small clear sealed bag with a small tube of medicine and a needle.
The doctor pulled it from the bag and injected the needle into the tube, pulling out the medicine, while the nurse took a cotton swab of antiseptic and cleaned the spot on Lily's leg.
"Done," the nurse said to the doctor.
The doctor nodded and walked over to the exam table with the needle.
"Hold her please," the doctor said.
Olivia rested her hand on Lily stomach gently. Fitz stood close by to monitor Lily but gave them distance to work.
Lily began to fuss.
"Lily, baby, it's okay, I love you," Olivia murmured, "I love you soo much."
The doctor quickly took the needle and stuck in Lily leg, injected the medicine and then pulled it out, all within a matter of seconds.
Olivia watched as Lily's eyes open wide from shock when she felt the needle, her mouth opened but nothing came out and then when the doctor pulled the needle and quickly pasted a band aid on the spot. Lily breathed in and then screamed, her entire body shaking uncontrollably, which was usually how she cried when she was really upset.
Olivia picked her up quickly and leaned her head against her shoulder, patting her back softly.
"It's okay sweetheart, it's over now, it's okay," she said softly to Lily.
Fitz walked closer to Olivia and kissed Lily against her hair.
"You did good work champ," he said to Lily.
She continued crying as Olivia walked her around the room, trying to console her. She kissed Lily's cheek over and over as she walked.
Her back was to Fitz, so he couldn't see her face.
"It's okay mama, don't cry," the nurse said to Olivia. "It's okay, she's fine."
Fitz, was surprised and wondered if the nurse was talking to Lily until he walked around to Olivia and saw a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
She wiped it away quickly and continued consoling and kissing Lily.
"Liv," he said with a half chuckle.
"It's not funny," she whined.
"I'm not laughing," he responded as he walked closer and rubbed her back gently.
"Breastfeeding helps after a shot," the doctor said, "or a pacifier, just to comfort her."
Olivia walked back to her chair and sat down with Lily cradled in her arms, she was pouting sadly, in between her crying, her cheeks were as red as a ruby. She pulled down her shirt and slipped her breast into Lily's pouty mouth and within moments she calmed and began sucking.
Olivia found it just as comforting for her as she imagined it was for Lily.
A half hour later, they left the doctor's office and headed home.
Lily had fallen asleep on the ride home so Olivia took her straight to her bedroom and laid her in her bassinet. She leaned over and kissed her forehead and then pulled the pacifier from her mouth.
"My precious little baby," she said as she kissed her again.
Fitz walked into the bedroom.
"Hey, what do you want for lunch?" he asked.
"I don't know, I'm not really hungry."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'm gonna go grab something, I'll be back in a little while."
"What are you gonna get?"
"I feel like getting Italian, I'm probably get some pasta or something."
"Oh...actually, that sounds pretty good."
"You're hungry now aren't you?"
"Yep."
"What do you want?"
"Shrimp scampi, please."
"Okay, Seraphina isn't too far, I'll stop there."
"Thank you."
"You got it boss."
It was almost 9pm when Lily finally went down for her nap. She'd been fussy for most of the evening. Olivia and Fitz stood and watched her sleep for just a few moments before Fitz gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and stepped off. Olivia grabbed the baby monitor and headed downstairs behind Fitz. They both walked to the kitchen, Fitz grabbed the last beer in the refrigerator, Olivia grabbed a bottle of water and watched Fitz through her peripheral as he walked to the couch and plopped down with his legs spread wide, taking large gulps of his beer.
She didn't necessarily feel like going to bed right away so she walked over to the couch and sat beside Fitz.
"When do you start work?" she asked as she sipped her water.
"I just want to make your you and my little champ are settled before I go back to work so I'll probably start a day or two after we get back."
"Oh okay, how far are we from you?"
"15-20 minutes, not far."
Olivia leaned back and relaxed on the couch.
"I can't believe I'm moving to California, it feels a little surreal."
"It's too late to change your mind."
She slapped his arm playfully, "I'm not going to."
"By the way," he said as he took another gulp of beer, "I can't believe you cried today at Lily's check up, I think the nurse was laughing at you."
"No, she wasn't, she told me that happens quite often, truth be told."
"Why were you crying?"
"I don't know, I watched the doctor prick her little leg with the needle and she was so shocked and terrified and I hate to see her cry like that so I don't know, I just started crying and her little pout, it just gets me every single time."
Fitz chuckled, "I know, me too."
She smiled, "so, what's it like being a father, is it anything like you thought it would be?"
"It's nothing like I thought it would be. I love that fucking baby so much."
Olivia chuckled and shook her head.
"No, I'm serious, I never thought it would be like this, before she was born, I thought I only had fun uncle potential."
"Fun uncle potential?"
"Yes. I thought-" what he really wanted to say was he always thought Scott would be the one to have kids and he'd only be their uncle, he could be fun, that was what they'd always discussed between each other, Scott always wanted kids, he never did and now it was the opposite but he didn't want to sour the mood.
"-nothing," he finished.
"What?"
"Nothing, I was gonna say that I love her so much so I can't imagine what it must feel like for you, you actually had to carry her for 9 months."
"Not the entire 9 months, she came early remember, a little early but still."
"Yeah that's right-that's probably the best decision you ever made, well, at least the one I'm most grateful for, it's funny because if you never had her, we wouldn't know how much we would've been missing out on. I'd probably still hate kids-"
"You still hate kids, you just love Lily, I saw you looking at those other kids at the doctor's office as if you wanted to body slam them."
Fitz chuckled, "No, just that one bad ass kid with the snot running down his nose that wouldn't stop jumping and screaming."
Olivia chuckled.
"I wanted to punch that kid in the face," he added.
She threw her head back in a laugh and she didn't really know what got into her, but suddenly the urge to kiss him and before thinking, she leaned in to kiss him but Fitz pulled back, pressing his hand softly against her cheek to stop her from kissing him.
"I'm sorry," she said quickly, flushed with embarrassment as she turned her face, "I-"
"Olivia this can't happen."
She pulled away from him and stood up. Embarrassment was now anger.
"Can you leave?"
Fitz was perplexed.
"What?"
"Leave.
"Olivia I'm not leaving, my hotel reservation is up, where am I supposed to go."
"I don't know, I just want you to leave."
"Let's spin this around for a second, just so you see how ridiculous you're being: I invite you to my house, I try to kiss you, you say no and then I kick you out, I'd be an asshole right?"
"I don't care, just go."
Fitz chuckled, "because I wouldn't kiss you?" he said again, emphasizing just how ridiculous he thought she was being.
His chuckle added insult to injury.
"Why?"
He sighed, "Olivia, you know why. After everything that's happened, I don't think that we can ever get back to that place. I don't think that's possible for us anymore."
"You don't want me, just say it."
"Why, so you can get more upset?"
"So I can know."
"Olivia I'm not going to say that," Fitz responded evenly, trying to keep the peace.
"Just say it."
"Olivia what did you expect, that while my brother laying, rotting in a coffin, I'm suppose to be here rolling around in the bed with you."
"Say it!" she insisted.
"I'm not saying anything," he insisted.
"Just say you don't want me, it should be the easiest thing in the world for you."
"I'm not doing this Olivia, just go to bed, I'll do the same."
He fluffed his pillow and laid across the couch.
She chuckled humorlessly. "You expect so much from me and you've never given me anything in return, you've never even told me you loved me."
She turned to walk to her bedroom.
"What?" Fitz said as he sat up, "what have I expected from you Olivia, explain." his annoyance and anger was rising fast.
"You expect me to be loy-"
"Loyal? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I needed to profess my undying love to you just so you wouldn't plot to fuckng kill me. Good advice, noted, next time I meet someone, I'll profess my love immediately. That should fix everything." he said sarcastically, angrily. "By the way, have you ever said it, have you ever uttered it?" he began again, raising his voice even higher.
"I love you."
He closed his eyes and sighed in frustration, "what do you want me to do with that Olivia."
"I don't know," she responded.
She turned to the stairs and once again Fitz felt like the bad guy.
"What do you want Olivia?"
She stopped and faced him, "nothing, I just want to forget about all of this. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you, let's move on."
She said it so icily and begrudgingly that is was obviously she wasn't over it and she would hold it against him.
"Olivia-"
"Goodnight," she said with her back facing him as she walked up the stairs.
She took deep breaths as she walked into bedroom and closed the door behind her then she dropped to floor, sobbing silently from the sting of rejection and scolding herself for having attempted to kiss him. She felt utterly embarrassed and she wasn't sure what to do about it. She couldn't have a glass of wine to calm her nerves, she couldn't take a sleeping pill to go to bed because she needed to be alert for when Lily woke up to nurse. All she could do sit and wallow in her heartache and that she did.
The next morning.
5:50am.
Olivia walked around in circles rocking Lily in her arms.
Fitz knocked the door. "Olivia, let me in."
She walked over to the door and opened the lock then walked away. Moments later, Fitz twisted the knob and walked inside.
"You are an impossible woman," he said exasperatedly.
She'd locked him out of the room all night. Everytime he heard Lily crying on the monitor, he got up to go help but she didn't let him in, until now; not out of spite, but just because she didn't want to face him.
She had her back turned to him as she back turned to him as she rocked Lily.
"Olivia, you can't to this, you can't hold her hostage every time you get angry at me."
"I'm not angry at you," she said calmly.
"You're not looking at me."
She turned around wearily and faced him, "I'm not angry at you."
"So then why did you lock me out?"
"I was licking my wounds."
"I'm sorry but it's not like that-"
"-it doesn't matter, my hormones were all over the place and I did something stupid, it won't happen again, I'm not even sure why I chose to do that, it's not like we could've done anything anyways."
She still hadn't completely healed from giving birth, although she was feeling better everyday, she still wasn't ready for sex. But the kiss wasn't about sex, she didn't kiss him because she felt horny, she kissed him because she craved intimacy, any intimacy she could find.
"So, we're good then?"
"We're fine, I won't ever kiss you again, I promise," Olivia said with a begrudging smile.
He sighed, "why do you say it like that?"
"Fitz, can we just stop talking about this?"
"I know but I just feel like we aren't on the same page, last night wasn't about me not wanting you," he paused briefly, "I can't explain it but I just feel like the best and most stable way to maintain a good relationship and be able to co-parent effectively is if we maintain a good friendship, I want us to be really good friends."
"Friends," Olivia scoffed inwardly, the word tasted bitter as she said it silently. It felt like pity and she didn't want his pity.
"Fitz, can we stop talking about this," she said again.
"Alright, okay," he said, relenting.
"Can you help me to clean her up, the morning traffic will be pretty bad so we'll have to get going soon."
"Okay."
He walked over to the changing table, Olivia followed behind him and placed Lily on the table. Fitz began undressing Lily, as Olivia finished packing the last few things in her baby bag while also gathering her diaper and wipes to clean her up.
"Morning bud, you look like you've been up for a while," he said to Lily as he pulled off her socks and then ran his thumb against the sole of her soft feet. He kissed her foot and watched as she stared up at him, always curious.
"I think you're gonna like L.A., especially Zeus, you'll meet him soon enough." He kissed her stomach, "yesh you will, yesh you will," he cooed and was delighted when she gave him a small smile, empty as it was.
"Okay, now that I've got my smile, let's get you changed."
He wiped her off with her wet wipes and changed her diapers and then dressed her in the clothes Olivia laid out for her.
"Can you look after her while I shower?" Olivia asked.
"Sure, I've got her."
Olivia nodded and headed off to the bathroom.
Fitz was sure she was still angry at him but he decided to just leave her until the anger subsided.
He took Lily downstairs to the balcony to enjoy the warm morning until Olivia finished her bath and came down to take Lily so he could ready himself.
They were out of the apartment by 7:30 am. Fitz took only one bag, Natalia would ship the rest of his things, as well with Olivia, she took only a bag for herself and Lily, everything else had been shipped earlier and whatever wasn't shipped, she left things at her apartment such as her winter clothes for whenever she came back to the city.
They had a 10:25 am flight to LAX from JFK on Fitz's private plane. After a two hour ride in traffic, they made it to the airport to check in and wait in the private aircraft waitroom to board the plane. Olivia wasn't cold but she was reticent, Fitz didn't push her.
The plane left exactly on time. During the 6 hour and 20 minute flight, Olivia slept whenever Lily was asleep and whenever Lily was awake, she tended to her and of course, Fitz helped.
It was late afternoon when they landed at LAX and quickly checked out and headed to the driver who was waiting to pick them up. His assistant Megan, flew back the day earlier to make arrangements for him.
They'd been driving for almost a half when she noticed that the road looked oddly familiar.
"Where are we going?"
"To my house," Fitz responded.
"Why?"
"I want Lily to meet Zeus, he's there with my helper."
"Fitz, I don't want to stop at your house, I want to go straight to my house."
"Olivia it's not a big deal-"
"I want to go straight to my house, I'm tired," she repeated.
Fitz shrugged and leaned closer to the driver, "take us to the other address you have, we're not gonna stop."
"Okay sir," the man responded.
The continued driving until they passed Fitz's house and 15 minutes later, they pulled up to mediterranean style metal gates of Olivia's new home.
The driver pressed the security button through the window of the car and within moments, they heard Rebecca's voice through the intercom.
"Hello?" she called.
"It's Luis, I have Ms. Pope and Mr. Grant."
"Ah, perfect," Rebecca said as she buzzed the gates open.
The estate was beautiful and much more spacious that Olivia had realized through all the pictures and videos.
They drove down the 150 meter long private driveway, lined with perfectly manicured lawns and trimmed shrubbery. The driveway wrapped around into a circle, a beautiful white italian marble fountain in the middle and then it joined back onto the main driveway and led back out the gates. It was wide enough in width that both Olivia's cars that she had shipped over a week earlier were parked comfortable on the driveway and there was still enough space for Luis to drive by.
They pulled up in front of the house. The front stairway led up to a large white double entry door. The house itself, two stories high and made of limestone, resembled a modern chateau.
Olivia opened the car door and stepped out. The air felt cool and fresh, a big change from New York. She looked across the yard to the english knot garden with all manor of roses, lavenders and other beautiful flowers. The smell of the flowers carried in the wind and made the air sweet and a little ways from that she saw the pool and tennis court.
Fitz stepped out of the car behind her, with Lily's car seat
The 12,000 square foot home, sitting on 2 acres of land was secluded, which Olivia was thankful for. It had 5 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms, too big for just Olivia and Lily but since she had no doubt that Fitz might be sleeping over, she knew at least 3 bedrooms would be occupied.
Rebecca opened the double doors and walked down the front steps.
"Welcome, welcome, hi, how was the flight?"
"Good, gosh, it's gorgeous, I love it, it's beautiful," Olivia gushed.
Rebecca sighed in relief, "I'm so glad, I knew it was a little tricky having not seen it but I'm glad you like it."
"It's so much better than I expected," Olivia remarked.
"Do you like it, Mr. Grant?" Rebecca asked.
"Yeah, it's great," he agreed.
"Okay well, come on in, so I can give you a tour," Rebecca said excitedly.
They followed Rebecca up the steps into the house. As they walked through the door, the first thing Olivia realized was how high the ceilings were. The decor, as she had worked on with the interior decorator, was modern but homely which juxtaposed the old english decor on the exterior of the house Everything was white; the floors, the walls and the furniture. The walls were lined with beautiful oil painted portraits and floral arrangement placed all over the room.
"So, we have the staff here for you," Rebecca said as they exited the foyer.
Olivia saw 5 people in a straight line across the room by the open kitchen as they walked.
"Okay so we have Sonia, your nanny; Mr. Grant said she'd be staying here so I had her come over to meet you; Linda, the helper for weekdays and Pam, the helper for weekends, Lenny, the gardener and handyman; Greg, the chef.
"Oh wow," Olivia remarked, she didn't know Fitz had made those arrangements for her. She planned to do all the hiring once she got settled.
"Hello, I'm Olivia," she said as she walked up and shook each other their hands. "This is Lily," she motioned to Lily in Fitz's arms, she was now up. Fitz took her from the carseat and held her in his arms so he wouldn't have to lag the car seat behind him as they walked.
"Sonia, I'd like you to meet her a little later, since you'll be helping out with her," Olivia said.
"No problem," Sonia replied.
The workers took off, each doing their own little thing while Rebecca took Fitz and Olivia around the house. After they finished the tour of the first floor: kitchen, dining room, gym, Living room, laundry room, study, theatre room and two bathrooms; they went upstairs and toured the 5 bedroom and 5 bathrooms, Olivia's master closet. Olivia's bedroom had been specially decorated by the interior designer as well as Lily's nursery, all the other rooms were of standard decor.
After a tour of inside, Rebecca brought them out to the second floor balcony, the entrance to which was in Olivia's master bedroom, that gave them a clear view of the front yard.
"Wow, this is gorgeous," Olivia said.
"Wait till you see the pool and the view of downtown L.A," Rebecca responded, satisfied with her work and subtly showing it.
She took them out to the backyard, they explored the garden, the garden shed, the pool and the tennis court and then Rebecca brought them back to the house.
By now, Lily was ready for her nursing session which she made sure everyone was aware of by fussing loudly.
Olivia turned and took Lily from Fitz once they entered the house, "I'm going to nurse her-are you-"
"I'll be right here," Rebecca finished.
"Can you call Sonia, I want her to speak with her."
"Absolutely," Rebecca replied to Olivia.
"Perfect."
Lily began fussing again, reminding Olivia she was hungry. She turned and headed up the steps to her bedroom.
The bed was spread with fresh linens.
Olivia sat on the bed against the pillows and pulled down her shirt and began nursing Lily, not caring that she was sitting on her clean bed with clothes she'd been through an airport in, she could always change the sheets later.
A few moments later, there was knock on the door.
"Come in," Olivia called.
Fitz walked in, accompanied by Sonia.
"Hi, thank you for coming," Olivia said amiably.
"No problem, no problem at all," Sonia replied.
Fitz walked over and sat on the bed beside Olivia.
"So, as I said earlier, this is Lily," Olivia said, motioning to Lily, who she was still breastfeeding, "she's my first child so I'm still learning as I go, she's 1 month and a day old. How much experience do you have with children?" Olivia asked.
"I've raised 5 children and helped raise 9 grandchildren, I was a kindergarten school teacher in my home country, and I began working as a nanny here 15 years ago."
"Oh, that's perfect," Olivia said, "she's a good baby, she's pretty calm, she screams but only for milk, if she's not hungry then she's quite calm."
"Any medical conditions?" Sonia asked.
"No, she's perfectly healthy, she's just had a check up."
Olivia check her watch and then switched her over to her other breast as she continued conversing with Sonia.
When she was done nursing, she turned to Sonia, "would you like to burp her?"
"Sure, and- don't worry, I washed my hands before I came up."
Olivia chuckled and placed Lily in Sonia's waiting arms.
Sonia leaned Lily against her chest and began tapping her back lightly until the sound of a small burp escaped her tiny lips.
"Oh, there you go, sweet girl," Olivia said as she took Lily from Sonia's arms. "Sonia, I think you and everyone one else can head out early."
"Oh really, are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'll be alright here. What time do you start in the morning?"
"Rebecca said it's going to be a 9-5 day or 10-6, she says whatever is your preference."
"9-5."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at 9, we can talk more then," Olivia said kindly.
"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow," Sonia responded with a nodded and then sashayed out of the room.
Fitz stretched his arms for Lily, Olivia gave her to him.
"You like the place?"
"Yes," she said.
It was then that she realized that her house was a great deal more...luxurious than his.
"It's a quite a bit larger than I'd anticipated."
"It needs to be large, Lily needs space to play, when she's older."
"Thanks," Olivia said, after a while.
"I just want to make sure my favorite girl has everything she needs," Fitz said as he held Lily up to his eyes length and kissed her stomach, "and her mother," Fitz added.
Olivia didn't respond.
Fitz smiled sadly at her non response and stood up, "we're gonna go for a walk," he said as he walked for the door with Lily.
When Fitz disappeared through the door, Olivia got up from the bed and walked to her bag that she guessed Luis the driver or her handy man had brought up while the toured the yard. She took her laptop and rested it on the bed and then she took her medication and brought it to her bathroom medicine cabinet. She took her time unpacking her things, while also getting familiar with her new home. When she was done with her room, she went to Lily's nursery and did the same and then she went to the kitchen and looked through the cabinets and made a list of all her favorite food, to add to the stock.
By the time she was finished in the kitchen, Fitz was back with Lily.
"I'm gonna head home and bathe, I'll only be a few hours."
"Okay."
She walked over and took Lily from him.
"I'm gonna bring back dinner, do you want anything?"
"No," she said dryly.
"Rebecca had to leave but she left all the keys and the gate code, she'll be back tomorrow she said."
"Okay."
Fitz sighed lightly, "which room am I gonna be staying in?"
"Whichever you'd like."
She had half a mind to tell him she changed her mind and she no longer wanted him there but she'd promised him before they left that that would be the arrangement and she had to admit, it was in Lily's best interest, in understanding that, she left the arrangement intact.
She walked to the past the livingroom, to the grand white staircase and took it upstair to her bedroom. Fitz left to Luis the driver, to be taken back to his house.
Olivia took Lily to her nursery and changed her clothes and wet diaper and then brought her back to the her bedroom and laid her in the bassinet beside her bed. She walked back to the nursery and took the baby bouncer and brought it her bathroom. She washed out the tub, that was already clean and then gauged the water, warm, and filled the tub. She added peppermint bath soap then brought LIly from her bassinet to the bouncer beside the tub, strapped her in and stripped naked and stepped in the tub.
She was grateful the bleeding had stopped, she thought it would never end but it did and now could go back to taking long, relaxing, warm baths.
As she submerged her body, in the water, she turned to Lily who was staring at her as she laid quietly in her bouncer.
"Do you want to listen to music?" she asked, "yes? Okay." she dried her hands on the towel on the floor and took her phone from the beside the bouncer and pressed the triangle on the screen, seconds later, music emanated from the speakers of the phone.
"That's Sade, by the way Lils, she's great."
After her bath, she dried off and wrapped herself in a towel robe and took Lily back to her bed. She threw off the top sheet, that she laid on earlier and threw it on the ground, followed by the pillow she'd laid on as well and then she climbed in bed. She tucked Lily under her arms as she laid on her side and nursed her to sleep.
It was almost 11pm, when she saw headlights shine through her the glass screen that separated her room from her balcony outside. Fitz was back.
She scooted Lily gently to the middle of the bed and then laid down and waited. She knew Fitz would stop by to say goodnight to Lily.
A few minutes later, he appeared in front of her doorway.
"She's sleeping?" he asked, in a rhetorical question as he walked over to the bed.
Olivia didn't respond.
He leaned forward, over the bed, and kissed Lily on the stomach.
"Goodnight rose bud," he said, in a whisper and then leaned up.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said to Olivia, who didn't respond.
"Can you close the door please," she said as he walked through the door.
Fitz turned around and closed the door, then continued down the hallway to his own room.
When the door closed, Olivia took her laptop from the nightstand and began googling local therapists. She needed to talk to someone, she couldn't hold out anymore, she didn't have friends or family but she needed to talk to someone, anyone.
She read threw reviews and ratings and accolades until she managed to zero on one particular therapist It was almost 2 in the morning after her search when she sent the email to the therapist and hoped for a quick answer.
Fitz laid in bed restless until early morning when he finally drifted off.
He looked down the aisle and saw Lily, she was older, tall but somehow she still seemed tiny. She skipped down the aisle, sprinkling flowers in her path. She looked to be no older than 3, with her golden curly hair and deep blue eyes, her skin was the shade of a cup of cafe au lait.
"She's the flower girl," Fitz said, aloud.
She continued skipping still she reached the pupit, Fitz reached out to her but she didn't go to him, she went to the man beside him, who he didn't realize was there until Lily walked right to him and stretched for him to pick her up, which he did.
"Dad," Lily said happily as she clapped, congratulating herself on her good work.
"He's not your father," Fitz said, "I am." he said, but his words fell on deaf ears.
The audience stood and Fitz turned his attention away from Lily to see Olivia walking down the aisle. Her gown was gorgeous, stark white; her hair flowed, her skin glowed; she looked incandescently happy.
She walked down the aisle and stopped atop the pupit, Fitz watched wordlessly as her groom to both her hands in his. Lily was now standing by Olivia, holding onto her dress.
He could hear Olivia and her groom whispered vows to each other, but he couldn't hear clearly the words.
"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss your bride," the priest said.
Olivia wrapped her hands around her groom's neck as he pulled her close to him and kissed her through a smile. After the kiss, the groom picked Lily up from the ground and all three walked down to greet their guests.
Just then, Fitz jumped up and looked down the dark room. Lily was crying on the monitor but by the time he stood up, she'd stopped and he could hear the faint smacking of her lips as she fed on Olivia's breast.
He wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. His nightmare felt more frightening than any he had ever experienced. The many times he died, or been tortured or beaten in his dreams didn't compare.
He walked quickly to Olivia's room and let himself in without pause. Olivia laid on her side with a nipple in Lily's mouth.
"I don't think she'll be up long, you can go back to bed," Olivia said.
Fitz ignored her and climbed on the bed, beside Lily. He leaned over and kissed Lily's hair. It was awkward for Olivia because he was so close she could feel his breath on the skin of her breast.
Fitz slid his finger into Lily's hand and felt her soft grip around his index finger then he laid his head beside her face as she fed with her eyes closed and toes curled.
Fitz kissed Lily's hand, over and over as she fed an when she was done, he took her, without a word and burped her and then laid her on the bed again but he never left. He laid beside her, cuddling her to sleep until he drifted to sleep too.
Olivia watched him in disbelief the entire time.
He was sleeping in her bed! After he'd rejected her so, sent her self esteem into a downward tailspin, and now, he was sleeping in her bed.