Real talk: And we're back! After Love Song 5 and my most recent blurb I posted on my tumblr I'm really glad that this chapter happened to be so much lighter than the two preceding. It also made it easier to come out early for maybe the only time that will happen, so that's good!
Content Warnings:
Finn cameo
Discussion of mental trauma and recovery techniques
Thoughts of a naked lady
Light fluff
There had been a plan. Of course there had been, Bonnibel Bubblegum never undertook anything without a plan. True, it hadn't been exactly elegant, and if you examined it hard enough - as Rechte's voice so often did - you could see the plot holes, and that more than she would ever like was being left up to chance. Still, there had been a plan, a plan she had thought up with care, had painstakingly crafted over her near-two months of emotional solitude. Everyday the plan changed slightly, being polished and finalized until it was perfect, or at least as perfect as something as its kind could ever be. Even in her idle moments, long after she was happy with its final form, did she consider it, checking it over and under and every which way, because Bonnibel Bubblegum never half-did anything, and when the time finally came for Marceline to come home she would execute her plan in full, proving herself a worthy mate, worthy of the vampire's forgiveness. It was perfect, an elaborate and lengthy treatise that would span multiple years if necessary, had every contingency plan built in place. No matter what life threw at her Bonnibel would be ready for a counter, all with the end goal of rebuilding their bond. No matter how long it took, no matter what she had to do, Bonnibel would never stop, not unless told to. Oh yes, there had been a plan.
Leave it to Marceline Abadeer herself to spoil it.
"...What?," Bonnibel whispered.
"I forgive you," came the soft reply. When Bonnibel continued to stare, uncharacteristically dumbfounded, Marceline looked away. In her heart she knew this was the kind of conversation she really should be having eye-to-eye, but there was something unreadable in those green eyes, something that looked pained, something that pained her in return.
"...Why?" Marceline squirmed. She couldn't help it. Even if she knew this wasn't anything negative every instinct in her screamed to get ready to run. Her nerves were just too raw from the Nightosphere's influence, her head ached with an odd sort of pressure, and in all honesty she was hoping Bonnibel would be a little more enthusiastic than she was proving to be. Anxiety gnawed away at what little positivity her homeland had left her with, and by the time Bonnibel realized that her demeanor was causing considerable distress to the half-demon grey talons were already digging into her grey arm. With a silent curse Bonnibel eased herself next to the older woman, placing her hand over the claw to gently discourage it. "Easy, Marcy…," she soothed, separating the two limbs. "I'm just concerned that you may not be thinking clearly. The Nightosphere has a way of messing with mindmeats, and as I've told you before I'm not going to accept any declaration you can't consent to, and you can't consent if you aren't in a sound state of mind." The subtext was clear: 'please don't tease me'.
Marceline's claw returned to a hand as she shook her head. "No, I know… I get it, Bon. But… that's kind of my point. It messed with both of us, but… you handled it a lot better. Even when stuff got really dark there for awhile you didn't…" This time when she sighed there was no bitterness, nor resignation. Only acceptance. "You've changed, Bon." She laced their fingers absentmindedly. "I mean… you already changed. But… you changed again."
"...Marcy, that makes no sense." It was hard to hide the ghost of a smile in Bonnibel's voice. Marceline making exactly this little amount of sense was almost… well, normal. Though words flowed through her easily in the form of lyrics, and she was insightful beyond reason, she was easily tongue-tied in emotional situations such as these, especially when they left her vulnerable. Were she speaking with clarity the princess would be more worried… but this was almost normal. Almost.
The half-demon exhaled forcefully, nodding. "Yeah, I know… it's just…" Her eyes closed and she lay back on the bed, curling into Bonnibel's thigh. "...You promised me you'd change.. and to be real, Bon, I didn't believe you. I still kinda don't? Maybe that's just self-preservation. I dunno. But… you said you'd change, and that you'd reel in being a psycho for me, even if it's just for me. And… you have. You weren't great with Phoebe but you were trying and you were pretty civil, and you respected my wishes and left us alone when we talked. I don't know exactly what's going on with the kingdom, but I know no one's bothered me since I got here except Pep-But, and you even let Schwabl hang on the bed. It's just… it's all the little stuff. You got rid of silver everywhere without even telling me, and I don't really remember a lot since reality is a lie as far as my brain thinks… but you've been there while I've been going through all the dumb mood swings and sleeping all the time. Every time I woke up you were there. In the Nightosphere stuff got dark… but you held it together way better than I did, and even when we both kind of went nuts you didn't use it against me. And… I think you took daddy's little… whatevs he did better than I did. You're doing all of this a lot better than I am."
When the hand withdrew from her own Marceline found herself missing its warmth. When she felt the scientist lay next to her, felt her pull her into her arms, she decided she liked this warmth better. "I promised to take care of you and to prove myself. No matter how long it takes." Bonnibel absently stroked down her lover's onyx mane, not sure if she was trying to calm her or herself. "I don't think you can consent to forgiving me, Marcy. It's a big decision and I don't want you to regret it when-"
Marceline shook her head. When the hand stilled in response an involuntary noise of disappointment escaped her, only to be replaced with something much more pleasant when it resumed petting her. "I know. I mean… it still hurts, Bon. It's gonna for a long time, and I'm stuck with all… me for a long time, too. So… I'm not saying it doesn't hurt anymore, because all of everything hurts all the time. But I think you've changed, and I think you're trying to stay that way and that's what's always mattered to me." Marceline curled tighter into herself. "I could walk away from all this if I didn't think you were trying… but it's sort of obvious you are. You've been doing exactly what you told me you'd do. So… yeah. I don't think…" She stopped, trailing off in consideration of how to phrase her sentiment. "I know it's still totes possible that you could go back to being just Princess Bubblegum and slip back into bad junk… but I trust you enough to believe you won't, and that if I forgive you you'll keep doing this anyway. I dunno. I'm bad at survival instinct I guess."
Bonnibel listened quietly, dutifully, as a good mate should. She listened to the literal words, hearing her lover's anxiety, apprehension, and fear. She heard her love, heard her nervousness, heard her exhaustion. But there was humor there as well, a spark of the old Marceline, before the amulet had made her into prey and took her insecurities and instability and turned them into a feast. It was uncertain, that spark, as if it wasn't sure of where it was or how it had gotten there. It reminded Bonnibel of their shared life together before the amulet, even before she had surrendered herself to her crown. The countless times the vampire would wander into daylight hidden by a parasol or long clothing, her acting as the candy golem's bodyguard - often without Bonnibel's knowledge - against demon and assassin alike for hundreds of years, the numerous red items she consumed just because she thought they looked tasty- "Yes… you're terrible at having a survival instinct, Marcy." The princess's voice was watery but she was smiling, cautiously so, but smiling nonetheless.
Marceline gave a half-shrug, but didn't argue. "So… yeah. I forgive you just… 'cause I'm ready to? I mean, it's not gonna matter if I don't get better I guess-"
"You're going to get better." The watery tone was gone, replaced by something firm. Firm, but not unyielding. When she moved her hand to cup Marceline's cheek she lifted it so their eyes finally met. There was fear, uncertainty… but also curiosity. And love. "I made a promise. Remember? I don't care how long it takes or even what it takes. I'm going to make sure you recover."
"I don't even know what that means anymore," the vampire mumbled, eyes darting away.
Bonnibel let them, even if she did keep her hand on the grey cheek. "I know, Marcy. And that's okay. This is new for everyone. No one, especially me, is expecting you to return to your old self exactly as you were. If such a thing is possible, then that's the goal. But if not that's alright as well. You went through something grossly traumatic, and all of this is perfectly understandable. The next stage, though, is to accept that you need to heal. It will hurt, probably more than anything you've ever done, but you'll heal. Do you trust me to help you recover? If not I understand-" Marceline bit her lip, then slowly nodded, not giving the younger woman a chance to finish. Good girl. "Thank you. Then in order to help you recover I recommend we begin with ground rules." Even before the sentence was concluded Marceline tensed, almost freezing.
Bon, remember our conversation earlier about thoughtless comments heard from the mouth of an ex-abuser?
She did, she only hoped it wasn't too late to undo that damage. Glob it, Bubblegum. "Shh… I'm sorry, that came out incorrectly. I meant that we should begin with you setting ground rules. You're the one healing, Marcy. I'm here to support you, but I can't do that if I'm doing something that hurts you."
Mercifully, Marceline relaxed. Crisis averted. "It all hurts, Bon."
Bonnibel could only offer a sad smile, withdrawing her hand to pull her queen closer. "I know. It might for a long time. Healing often feels paradoxical, and sometimes recovery hurts more than the initial trauma. Especially in your case, and especially since you're not used to coping with injuries you can't heal immediately. It will be a trial and error on both of our parts to find what helps, and… I won't lie, Marcy, sometimes we might do something that temporarily sets you back, but you'll get better. We may not be able to predict at this moment everything that may hurt you, so let's control the variables that you know will." She could feel the blank stare and laughed softly, tucking a strand of hair behind the pointed ear. "If I do something that hurts you… please feel like you can tell me. I know that…" She sighed, holding her tighter. "I know that I've spent the past several hundred years demanding otherwise but I encourage you to be honest with me. My purpose as your mate is to support your healing, and I can't do that if I'm doing something that harms you in any way. At the same time, if I can do something to help I need you to tell me." A soft kiss to a cool forehead. "It's time for you to have all the power, Marceline." You're certainly more responsible with it. "If I become too intimate, please tell me so I know not to push your boundaries. On the other hand, if it's alright for me to do something-"
She was stopped when the vampire curled closer, nudging her head in the crook of the younger woman's neck. Bonnibel blinked, temporarily confused before a mental nudge made her realize what was happening. And what Marceline was mumbling in her shoulder. "This. ...This is nice." It was a hushed, cautious confession, and Bonnibel imagined that Marceline's cheeks must be burning from the admission of something so sensitive, especially given what had just happened, but she could rest assured because Bonnibel's were burning more. Even before she registered it was happening the candy golem was tightening the embrace, as if the vampire were to suddenly change her mind. Sure, she had held her like this before, even within the past few days, but it was different now. Now it was after a profound confession, which itself had followed a trying adventure into the Nightosphere, complete with shocking revelations and tense familial relations.
Finally, the shock died, giving way to a soft smile. "Yes," she whispered. "It is." After one last kiss she rested her cheek on top of the musician's head, eyes sliding shut. It was enough just to feel her weight in her arms, the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed air she didn't need. Even now, you think of me. Somewhere, somehow, she felt her heart warm. Wherever it was. "I don't deserve you." Whether she was speaking to Marceline or at herself was inconsequential. Some things just needed to be said. "I would never give myself a second chance. Not after what I did, or what I became. You were always there, Marcy, even when I pushed you away you waited on my rooftop to watch over me." Her fingers flexed into claws before relaxing. "The rational thing to do right now would be to leave. I don't know if I can ever make this completely right… but I'm going to try." With every care in the world Bonnibel gently pulled herself free of the embrace, just far enough to confirm her suspicions, and was met with the beautiful sight of a vampire fast asleep.
I'm surprised you're still awake.
She was, because she had something to promise. "I'm… I'm going to court you, Marcy." Even saying it to her as she slept caused her blush to intensify, but it didn't stop her. Little did. "You went first… and now it's my turn." It felt just a bit silly, this serious declaration to a sleeping woman, but were she awake the candy golem knew she'd lose her nerve. And really, it made perfect sense. Hundreds of years ago, when the two had first turned from friends to girlfriends, it had been Marceline to make the first move, to nervously declare her love for the younger woman, and her to desire to always be by her side. And really, it made perfect sense for Bonnibel to return the favor now, especially with how spectacularly donked up she made everything. Didn't Marceline deserve to feel as special as she had always made Bonnibel feel? Didn't she deserve to feel chosen, to be wanted and needed above and beyond any and all else, just as she had always made Bonnibel feel? Didn't she deserve to know that she always had a safe place to go home to, that there was someone there that would love her unconditionally? Didn't she deserve the luxury of feeling vulnerable, knowing that she had another person to protect her?
I don't disagree, Bon… but how exactly are you going to do this? It's probs not as easy as it sounds.
Rechte wasn't wrong and they both knew it. Bonnibel had never needed to pursue Marceline before, it had always been the other way around. Even when they weren't talking she knew the vampire was always out there, and while it wouldn't be accurate to say that Marceline was willing to come home the moment she was allowed it wouldn't be wrong to say that she would only refuse before long. Her leash was just too short for her to resist forever. As Bonnibel mulled over the possibilities she wrapped a strand of onyx hair, weaving it around her finger. Her joys are so much simpler than my own.
Yeah, I really don't think she needs a grand gesture. Especially with, you know. Her not really wanting to go outside.
Outside… Bonnibel turned to the balcony, glass still covered by the black-out curtain. What time was it? What day? How long had it been since Marceline had first taken refuge in the castle? How much more time would it take for her to feel safe enough to take just one step outside? Perhaps… perhaps that's what I can give her. Not just the promise of safety but the experience of it as well. I know she trusts Finn, Jake, and Phoebe on an implicit level, but… would it be egotistical to assume that she trusts me more?
Dunno. She ever fall asleep in their arms? Ah, sarcasm. Rechte's native tongue.
Still, she had a point, and now Bonnibel's gaze travelled to the new instrument in the room, the electric violin. She made it a point to retrieve it for the express purpose of the concert. The scientist frowned, a fresh batch of guilt stabbing her. How does she put together her concerts? I know she's never used a manager, but it still takes time, resources, planning... it isn't something one does at the last minute. How long had it been since the princess had last attended one of her shows? Was she still touring? She must be, she hadn't stopped in a thousand years. Did they span multiple genres now, or was she keeping to punk rock exclusively? There was so much she didn't know, so many little details she hadn't bothered to learn, and now her intelligence was too out of date to be the slightest bit useful. I've missed so much.
Come on, Bon. You gotta get past this. She freaks out when you freak out and if you think she's not gonna notice you being like this you're cray-cray.
The dark hair was unravelled. Did she sound that smug when she was right?
Hey, I'm your subconscious, Bon. So… yeah. Def.
How distasteful, even if it did give her an idea. Would it be presumptuous for me to arrange her concert on her behalf? Perhaps not the finer details, but at least the bigger ones. Securing a venue, distributing-
How about you get her outside first?
Another frown, because she was getting ahead of herself and she knew it. Agreed. But first... Her thoughts were interrupted by a strange vibration in her jacket's pocket, barely perceptible but enough to make a grey ear twitch. As carefully as she dared the younger immortal disentangled herself from her slumbering lover, taking every care not to rouse her. She had fallen asleep on top of the blankets, and as adorable as that was it meant there was no body heat to keep her asleep; she would notice Bonnibel's absence too quickly for her to do much of anything. Slowly, silently, the candy golem snuck to the bare side of the bed and gathered the blankets. Where she had been laying was still warm and so, with one dextrous motion, she scooped the cloth over the vampire, effectively wrapping her in warmth. Emboldened by Marceline's failure to stir Bonnibel crossed now to the opposite end, tucking a pillow under her head. There we are. Stay sleeping, little bat. You need your rest. There was just too much comfortable to contend with, and Bonnibel knew that if her lover wasn't going to wake up from the jostling she was dead asleep - figuratively speaking.
After a gentle kiss to her forehead she quietly snuck into the lavatory, the one sound-proofed area in their rooms. No sooner had the door closed was she digging into her jacket pocket, retrieving her phone. With a frown she noticed she had several missed calls and text messages, all from the same person. Well, after everything she owed him this much. With a sigh she pressed a single button and held the phone to her ear. It was answered on the second ring. "Hello, Finn."
"Peebles!" He sounded so relieved it was comical. "What the butts, I've been trying to reach you for like a brajillion years!"
She couldn't fault his concern, and there was something charming about the delight in his voice. After all, the last time the two had spoken The Grasslands Incident hadn't even begun to be resolved; Bonnibel had only sent her champions away while she focused her attention on Marceline. His concern was understandable. "Sorry, Finn. It's been bonkers here."
Now there was a different type of concern in his voice: worry. "Yeah? What's going on? Is Marce okay?"
A strong sigh. Where to even begin? "Phoebe and I managed to resolve our trade agreement, and while she and Marceline caught up I investigated the evidence left behind from the Grasslands at Marcy's behest. Before I could deliver my results, however, she declared that as a result of her conversation she intended to go to the Nightosphere and requested I escort her-"
"Woah woah woah. Hold the woah. The Nightosphere?!" He was briefly quiet, though that certainly explained why the princess had been ignoring his every attempt to contact her. He seriously doubted the pocket dimension had a signal. "She… uh… she came back with you, right?"
Bonnibel laughed softly. It was a fair consideration. "Yes, though she is exhausted from the journey. She's sleeping now."
A loud sigh of relief. "So… why'd she wanna go there?"
Unseen by the boy, the young scientist had begun to rub her right temple with her freehand. All at once her own exhaustion was catching up with her, and though she wanted quite badly to join Marceline in her nap Finn of all people deserved to be caught up on what was happening. Besides, though she was reluctant to admit it she needed his help. "Given the course of events since our collective original journey to the Nightosphere Phoebe hypothesizes that Marceline won't be able to recover until she comes to terms with her demonic heritage, as well as her powers and natural inclinations. We met with Hunson who was quite… illuminating."
What was with that weird tone in her voice. "Uh… good illuminating, or the bad kind?"
Yes. "That's… a matter of perspective. Hunson gave us a very in-depth history lesson, not only of the Nightosphere but of reality in general. I would typically take anything he says with a grain of salt, but he seemed sincere."
"So what'd he tell you?"
Which parts to say, which parts to keep private? Which part would he understand? Well, there was one thing he deserved to know. Especially after meeting Lady Evil herself, after everything she did, after her explicit goal of- "The amulet is what makes Hunson Deathless. But…"
When she trailed off Finn knew something was very wrong. "What's up, Peebs?," he asked gently and as respectfully as he could. Not as her champion, but as her friend.
"The amulet forces its wearer to become Deathless, Finn. If I had succeeded in my original endeavor, and had Marceline accepted the amulet when we first began this travesty, she would be forced to become Deathless as well."
"And that's… bad?"
Her laugh was bitter. "Yes, Finn. Marceline's never been shy that her greatest fear is eternity without me, and her sheer contempt for her own immortality has been a staple of her personality for as long as I've known her. After losing everyone and everything's ever cared about…"
She trailed off once more and he filled in the blanks. "...She probably wouldn't recover from losing you, huh?" Her silence said everything. "No one else could do it? I mean, there's gotta be at least one or two other guys in the Nightosphere that Hunson is cool with. He made the place."
Actually… no. I can't tell him everything. Marceline has to have as much say as possible in what others know. Only the necessary information, Bubblegum. "Evidently, the amulet can only be worn by someone of his bloodline. Unless we elected to have a child… well, Marceline has no siblings, so she's the only one who qualifies."
Finn's laugh was nervous for some reason Bonnibel was certain was misplaced. "Yeah, and it's not like you two could do that. I mean… no offense PB, but you're both girls, so…"
From the other end of the wireless signal Bonnibel flushed deeply. There was no need to explain that there were certainly ways that were possible. Aside from genetic engineering and cloning which were par for the course for the young scientist- She can shapeshift at the genetic level.
Rechte snorted, not bothering to hide her laugh. Now who's being distasteful?
Oh shut up. Even if she's never attempted such a radical transformation it's certainly- ...You know what? I'm not having this conversation with you. "Even if we weren't we decided a very long time ago not to conceive a child."
"Yeah? How come, Peebs?"
It was a highly personal question, and Bonnibel was tempted to shut the boy down right then and there. Even now the ghost of Marceline's words haunted her. They hadn't been spoken to do so intentionally, but they did, had before, and would for the rest of her life.
You can't mix things with your DNA, Bonnie. This happens every time.
"Goliad wasn't my first attempt at creating an heir, Finn, and based on my previous attempts that debacle could have ended much worse. In my arrogance I wanted to be sure I always ruled over the kingdom in some way… but…" She sighed, her eyes closing. "When it comes to a child I was too afraid it would be like me. It's one thing for a creation designed for the express purpose of being a ruler to have my traits. But a child?" She leaned against the bathtub, easing herself on the edge. It matched her nerves nicely. Even back then I subconsciously knew what I was like. If our child grew up to be anything like Marcy it would be a wonderful, loving person. But me? I was proud of those traits that made me an effective ruler. Those traits that made me more of a monster than Marceline could ever be. I would never want it to compete with my throne, and I would never want anyone else like me to exist. She would never say that, not aloud and not to him. "Marceline had always been reluctant to pass along her demonic nature. She's quite good with children, but I believe growing up in the environment she did soured her to the idea of raising one herself." And now that I know she might have to pass that curse on this makes perfect sense.
"For what it's worth, Peebs… I think you'd both be good at it."
He just sounded so sincere it broke her heart. He was just so very, very wrong. "Thank you, Finn. It's a moot point though."
"Yeah, I guess." He sounded unconvinced, the poor fool. But Finn knew when to drop a topic when he heard the clue, and it sounded exactly like this. "So how's she holding up?"
Bonnibel swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew what she wanted to say, what she wanted to believe was real… but how could she? How could she assume Marceline knew what she was saying, that she could consent-
Hey, Rechte interrupted, not unkindly. She sounded pretty serious, right? And it's not like this is the first time she's said it. If you wait until she's completes better you could be in for a long wait. What if she needs to forgive you to move past all this junk and heal? Have you thought about the possibility that she needs you, Bon? You gotta learn to trust her with her own decisions.
I'd be there even if-
Yeah yeah, I know. But everyone gets better in different ways, right? Think about it like this. If you keep telling her she can't be real about forgiving you it's no different than taking away her right to choose, right? So how's that gonna make her feel safe and get back to some kind of normal? I know you're trying to look out for her but you gotta trust her, too. For real.
Well, said like that… "She forgave me."
Silence. Then, "WHAT?!" So loud, so needlessly loud. "Dude, that's amaze-balls, Preebs! Congrats! How's it feel? What happened?" The boy sounded positively giddy, which wasn't usual for Finn… but then again, given everything the three had been through Bonnibel supposed it was understandable. He had been there when she threw the dagger, when Unifier declared herself done with the younger woman, when the princess had been forced to kill Tyrant, for Lady Evil's mind games, for extracting Marceline from the Nightosphere not once but twice-
He's seen it all. Would I be this excited for him? "It happened when we returned from the Nightosphere. Its influence on us both was quite profound, and she was impressed by my ability to maintain a level head without giving into those more malicious aspects of myself while also preventing her from succumbing. She… believes that I've truly changed." Even saying it out loud didn't make it seem real.
"So… what? It's all better now?" He sounded so hopeful, the simple boy.
No. He's not simple, Bonnie. Just optimistic. You could learn something from him about that.
Ouch. "Well, I wouldn't say that. My betrayal will sting for a very long time, but she wants to move past it. More importantly, though, I need to find a way to encourage her to leave our rooms. With the exception of our journey to the Nightosphere she's been reluctant to go outside, and it's becoming unhealthy."
"Hm. Yeah, I can see that. Got any ideas, PB?" By the expectant tone in his voice he knew she did. After all, she was Princess Bubblegum.
"Yes. Though she hasn't asked about The Grasslands Incident I know she feels immense guilt about it. I suggested she hold a benefit concert for the victims. No one was killed, thank goodness, but there were a few severe injuries, and those victims will need further treatment in the form of surgery and physical therapy. Many will be out of work at least temporarily, and this concert is a way of assuaging her guilt while also providing a practical solution. I also feel her returning to music and her natural environment will prove therapeutic and an acceptable way to take her mind off of her… well, everything."
"Huh." Finn paused, and Bonnibel hoped that was a good thing. "That sounds pretty righteous, PB. What can me and Jake do to help make this thing rhombus?"
'Jake and I,' Finn. "Nothing at the moment, though I appreciate your offer. I plan to take over the bulk of the legwork on her behalf, but I don't want to do anything without her permission."
"Rock." Though the boy sounded more than supportive there was something reluctant in his voice, as if he were nervous about something and afraid to voice it. Unfortunately for him Bonnibel was the master of the pregnant pause, and it took only a few moments of silence for him to exhale forcefully, his voice dropping to a conspiratol whisper. "Hey… what happened in the Grasslands? There's lots of rumors going around."
Bonnibel felt her blood run cold. "...About Marcy?"
"Nah. Some peeps def think they saw a giant bat, but it's not what everyone thinks, and no one's even said her name from what Jake's heard, and dude's a whiz at gossip."
Her sigh of relief was loud enough to infect Finn, and he followed suit. "Thank gracious. The last thing we need right now is for anything to feed her delusion that she's some sort of monster."
"Yeah, totes, Peebles. But…" He sounded uncomfortable then, and Bonnibel knew what was coming next. "...Something did hurt a lot of guys. Did you find anything for the what up?"
Just as her relief had infected him, his reality check infected her. "My research proved… inconclusive. Something highly unusual definitely occurred, there's absolutely no denying that. The injuries Dr. Ice Cream and Doctor Princess recorded were bizarre and unlike anything I've ever seen before. The thing is, though… I've known Marcy for hundreds of years, and even at her-" worst -"biggest lapses in control she's never possessed the ability to inflict anything quite like this. Based on what Hunson has relayed it doesn't seem she's even capable."
"So… wrong place, wrong time, she just got caught up in the crossfire?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "I wish I had possessed the ability to see my damage for myself-"
"Nah, you made the right choice, PB. Marce needs you more."
He was right, of course, and she knew that logically, but she had spent so much of her effort lately on getting a handle on that overly logical part of herself that it wasn't quite in her skillset just yet to turn it on and off at will, or to even know when it should be turned on and off at will. "She hasn't asked about it yet because her attention has been so divided, but I know if I delay it much longer she may draw the conclusion that I'm purposefully obscuring what I've learned. If that's the case I hypothesize she'll jump to the conclusion that it's because I've discovered she's the culprit, or at least the cause."
"Yeah… sounds about right." Finn was making a valiant effort at not sounding disheartened, but the collective group seemed stuck between a rock and a hard place that may very well be another rock. "At least no one's crying for blood, though. The Grassland dudes are def upset, no question there, but they're taking it pretty well. Though… I mean, if Marce wants to do a concert I think that'd definitely make things mathematical for them. Most of 'em have never seen her perform live."
That was a new piece of information, and Bonnibel quickly filed it away for safekeeping. "Has she never done a Grasslands concert?" That's quite unusual, given that she resides in the Grasslands when she doesn't dwell in the castle…
"Dunno. I mean, I've never seen it. Usually she tours in other places." Finn's voice sounded careful, and there was a question underneath, not quite an accusation but undeniable all the same: 'haven't you ever seen her perform?'
The princess's voice turned melancholy, because the truth was undeniable. Without meaning to she lowered her voice, as if her own words could hurt her. "I admit… it's been an unacceptably long time since I last…" And that was as far as she got.
"Hey…" Finn's voice was understanding. He may not fully understand the nuances of his ladybros' relationship, but watching them both progress through the Mindscape and beyond had taught him a thing or two about them as people. As his friends. "Don't worry, Peebo. You can't change what you did before but you can do new stuff now. I bet she'd totes be cool with you helping her plan all the deets for this."
"She doesn't need me to."
From his end of the phone call Finn's smile turned sad. Peebs… don't… Maybe Marceline wasn't the only one wrestling with her own sense of despair. "Look, PB... I know the time I've known you has been, like, a blip on your radar given that you're like a bazillion years old… but just 'cause you can do something alone doesn't mean you want to. Jake and I could totally go on adventures by ourselves, but we do it together because he's my best bro, and things are more fun with your best bros and ladybros. Sure, we go off on our own sometimes, but that's not the norm. We work best together, because you never know when you're gonna meet a demon cat with approximate knowledge of anything or a guardian angel that really wants to suck your guts out. Ya gotta stop thinking in terms like black and white. 'Sides, she might not need you to 'cause she knows how to do the practical stuff, but I know I feel a lot stronger when you or her or Jake are around. Moral support is a real thing, and I think you both need it."
Technically speaking, the young champion was crossing a very important boundary. After all, Princess Bubblegum was his liege and this was grossly inappropriate to his station in the Candy Kingdom. But he hadn't called her as her champion, and she hadn't returned his call as his princess. They were just two best friends, trying to cope with the trauma that was their shared experience. And, most importantly, he was one of two reasons Bonnibel had Marceline back not only as one whole person, but napping in her bed, lulled to sleep by the body warmth and scent of her mate. Whether or not she agreed with him on principle was a different story, but he deserved to at least be heard. "Why would I need moral support? I'm not the one who had her mind shattered by-"
"Chill out, PB." If his time with Fern had taught him anything it was that thoughts like that turned toxic, and quickly. "You went through a lot too, and I meant it when I told Marce that you're like a whole new person. You two have this whole history together, and yeah, some of it seems messed up… but I don't think you guys would still be together if you didn't get something from the other. Growing up isn't just something us mere mortals do. Or… that's what Jake says Prismo told him, and he seems like a guy that'd know these kinds of things."
When did you become so wise? When did you grow up, Finn? But that was a question for another day. "Perhaps you're right. I'll need to consider this." Translation: I can't admit I'm wrong and we both know it.
"Rock. Anything I can do now, or are you good?"
Actually… "Well, now that you mention it… this conversation, at least the parts about her, didn't happen. If she wants to share her secrets I want her to have the freedom to do so."
"Ah, I gotcha. You don't want her to know you spilled the beans, even if it was to help her. No probs, Bob. I won't even tell Jake." Probably.
"Thank you, Finn. I'm going to encourage her to talk to you both. Hunson… he outlined much about her heritage and emphasized to her that she'd never stop losing control so long as she rebels against her natural inclinations. If anyone is prepared to subdue her if she loses control it's you to."
"Murder-beast vampire? Yup, gotcha covered." Because honestly, after Usurper- An involuntary shudder went down his spine. "You know… Marce is really strong now… but I've been thinking about that. Those pieces of her mindmeats were all different power levels, but only Tyrant was actually on our side, since she was Loyalty and all. She's one person now, but… what happens if after all of this she manages to use all three of those Big Baddies at the same time? Rage, Despair, Loyalty… just all that jazz, all at once?"
Bonnibel fell quiet. In actuality she had had the same thought, and more than once. It was, of course, incorrect to think of Marceline in bits and pieces, but it would be folly not to consider the implications. Sure, Usurper, Tyrant, and Lady Evil were immensely powerful within the mindscape and it was unlikely their power in of itself would scale so dramatically, but they were the aspects of Marceline's mind that were the most unhinged and, coincidentally, the most dangerous. Even Tyrant wasn't an exception; sure, she had been docile for Bonnibel and indifferent-bordering-positive towards Finn and Jake, but had she had the mind to the candy golem had no doubt she could have done them all in without blinking. Usurper may have lacked a master plan beyond 'go to Ooo and wreck the place', but the only thing that stopped Whole Marceline from reigning terror was the conscience that the maniac lacked. Perhaps most alarming of all was Lady Evil herself, the oldest aspect of her beloved's psyche, the one who, despite losing her battle against Unifier, arguably ultimately won the war, for now Bonnibel had to teach Marceline what it meant to be a ruler without her knowledge, and Lady Evil in whatever form she took would lead the vampire to the Nightosphere again and again.
"Ideally… recovering mentally will make this a moot point, but you're right in that the danger cannot be disregarded. I trust Marceline wholeheartedly, and I have no doubt Ooo is safe… but I also have no doubt that if she ever saw herself as a true threat she would destroy herself."
"...That's harsh, PB."
Whether it was so because it was true or because she said it was inconsequential. "All the more reason for her to train." Both as a ruler and as a person possessing immense strength. "Once she's a bit more mentally stable I'll suggest she work with you and Jake, without me in the vicinity. That should prove more encouraging for her to know I'm safe." And more convenient for me to devise a proper courtship scenario.
"Sounds good, PB. Need anything else?"
"No, thank you Finn, you've been very helpful."
"Anytime, Peebles. See ya!" And then the line was dead and Bonnibel was left staring at her phone, absorbing the conversation piece by piece.
I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, but it's pretty quiet out there. Probs should go make sure she didn't wig out. You know. Sedatephobia and all.
Bonnibel's eyes widened and she hurried to straighten herself. Butterbrittle! Why didn't you say anything before?!
Eh. Talking to Finn seemed like a better use of your time.
With a mental growl Bonnibel pushed open the lavatory door slowly, ears straining for any sounds of something amiss. When she heard nothing tell-tale she opened it the rest of the way… and was greeted with the sight of the vampire, exactly where she left her, still wrapped in blankets and deeply asleep. A deep sigh of relief escaped the younger woman and she quietly crossed the bedroom, easing herself to perch on its ledge next to her. How tired you must be to sleep even through the silence. Whether or not that was a good thing or a bad thing was open to interpretation, but the added weight caused the older woman to stir.
"...Bon..?" She sounded so sleepy, so adorably sleepy, and the young scientist knew that she could easily push her queen in either direction, wide awake or sleeping soundly once more. As much as she wanted to discuss the vampire's life-altering decision more, to work out the fine details of how their boundaries would work and what Bonnibel was allowed to do and not allowed to do, she knew the older woman needed sleep. In all honesty she was shocked Marceline had stayed awake for as long as she had, but then adrenaline was a powerful neurotransmitter that couldn't exactly be argued with. But there was just enough room on Marceline's side of the bed for her to lay down comfortably and the candy golem eased herself next to her lover, draping an arm around her waist to hold her close. The proximity to the edge of the bed meant she was in danger of toppling over the side, but that only gave her an excuse to cuddle close, to touch almost entirely. Evidently this was acceptable and Marceline blinked sleepily once more before closing her eyes. "...No more science..," she mumbled.
Bonnibel stifled a laugh before kissing the back of her head. Her internal clock was telling her that it would be night soon, which in turn gave her an idea. In fact, it was giving her lots of ideas because she was serious about this courting idea… even if she had no practical idea of what it meant.
You don't need to, though. You said it yourself, she gets a lot more joy out of the simple things in life. Ignore all the messed up junk, you know what to do. Hate to say it, but Finn was right. You gotta stop doubting yourself. She wants to forgive you. That means you gotta work to forgive yourself.
I don't deserve-
Bon. Rechte's voice was oddly gentle. Whether you want to admit it or not you went through something really traumatic, too. Enough that it's made you a different person. Better person, sure, but a different one, and you have to learn how you work now. Stop worrying about Princess Bubblegum. She's still part of you, but she's in the same box she kept Bonnibel in for hundreds of years. You let her out on your terms. Yeah, you're gonna be awkward for awhile. You both are. Chill out, go stargazing or something.
Now there was an idea. Thank you, Rechte.
You get one freebie, courtesy of your subconscious.
I suppose that makes my subconscious a genius.
You already know you're a genius, BonBon. Usurper was right, you know. You're exactly as smart as you think you are. She may have been nuts, but she was on to something. Gotta give credit where it's due.
She was right, and Bonnibel knew it. Her intellect had always been her greatest strength, but it was her greatest weakness as well, she knew that now, because it could be applied inappropriately. Then I suppose it's time I did something positive with it.
There ya go. Now stop talking to me. You've got Marceline in your arms again. Stop looking for reasons to not enjoy it.
How could she argue with that? With a contented sigh Bonnibel pulled the older royal closer, relishing in the way she pressed back, not just allowing herself to be maneuvered but helping to make it happen. Although Marceline seemed quite capable of sleeping like a rock Bonnibel found she could only doze, too compelled to enjoy the sensation of the other woman in her arms; her cool skin radiating through her burned shirt; her gentle curves, so much more subtle than Bonnibel's own; the rise and fall of her chest; the way she cuddled the pillow in her sleep. All little things, all precious. All so easily stolen from her. You're mine, Marcy. Mine to love and mine to protect. I'll start by showing you that the world isn't as scary as your mind is leading you to believe. Ooo isn't a wasteland. There are no Repressed Thoughts to threaten you. You may have only been trapped in your mind for a couple of hours but to you it was a hundred years. You may not understand yet… but you're safe now. I'll start my courtship by showing you that. After one last hug that was more like a cuddle Bonnibel withdrew, trying to convince herself it was just a temporary separation.
She had never anticipated developing attachment issues in her adult life, and in a way it was humiliating. But… you'd never hold it against me. You may even be flattered to know you're the exception. As she stood she watched the slumbering demon with a fond smile. Is this something I can use to show you how special you are to me? That I should possess this weakness when it comes to you? True as it was, though, her internal clock was screaming that it would be night soon, and before Marceline woke up she desperately needed a shower. Marceline being a walking corpse may prevent her from feeling the particles of sulfur and ash in the Nightosphere's air - or, perhaps, she was just used to it - but Bonnibel could feel her skin crawling. I'll be right back. Stay sleeping. As silently and quickly as she could the princess crossed to her wardrobe, gathering a perculariar outfit in her arms before returning to the lavatory once more, tossing something to the sleeping dog along her way. She almost closed the door but stopped short, realizing that she had been lucky Marceline hadn't awoken in the silence of the bedroom when she had left to call Finn. It wouldn't hurt to leave the door open just this one time while she bathed, if nothing else for the vampire to hear the water running. Just a little reassurance, but as Marceline was fond of espousing it was the little things that made up life.
As she waited for the water in the shower to reach the correct temperature - for Marceline had been the last to use it and she liked the water far hotter than was reasonable, thank you very much - Bonnibel stripped, glancing at herself in the mirror with a frown. She was dirtier than she anticipated, but she had also acquired odd scratches and bruises. Had the Nightosphere dulled pain? She hadn't even noticed getting injured. Another oddity to file away about her queen's homeworld.
As Bonnibel entered the shower and began to cleanse herself of their journey Marceline finally stirred, ear twitching at the sound of running water. Bon…? With great reluctance she poked an eye open before rolling to her side, facing the lavatory. She didn't close it? That was an odd thing to overlook. Rubbing her eye with the heel of her hand Marceline propped herself onto her elbow before glancing around the room. At some point she had fallen asleep and had been expertly tucked in, that much was clear. Her bass was leaning against the wardrobe, right next to Schwabl, who seemed to be chewing some sort of treat in his bed and was otherwise ignoring the world. Right on, dude.
That only left Bonnibel, who was in the lavatory. Or, more accurately, the shower. The realization of what that must entail caused Marceline to flush deeply, and she was suddenly very glad she was the only one around to know about it. When had Bonnibel's nudity ever caused that effect on her? Well, besides when they were young and new to one another. The half-demon shook her head at the memory. This odd feeling - what was it exactly? - wasn't unpleasant exactly, but it was uncomfortable, not merely because it had been a hundred years since she had last seen her so exposed but because it was just not something Marceline was ready to see or even think about yet. With a groan she laid back down and pulled her pillow over her face, hiding where the intrusive thoughts couldn't get her. She wasn't even convinced they would ever get there again, because even if she could forgive Bonnibel the wound she inflicted was still open and had only a cursory examination. So why was her stupid brain- The water shut off and somehow that just made everything worse. Thankfully, denial cures everything and was made possible by pulling the blankets over her head. Don't think about it don't think about it-
"Marcy? Are you… in there?" Bonnibel voice was amused and Marceline sighed, caught hiding like a weenie.
She carefully burrowed out of the blankets, watching as Bonnibel's smirk and raised eyebrow betrayed that she was just as amused as she looked. "...M'fine." The princess made a sound, a cross between 'I see that', and 'I don't believe you'. Only when pulled the covers down did Marceline realize what the younger woman was wearing: fluffy pink socks, fuzzy cloth pants, and an oversized band t-shirt featuring a giraffe wearing a cat hoodie that Marceline was absolutely sure she owned at some point. "Uh… Bon? What the flip?"
Bonnibel laughed softly before tossing a small ball of clothing at the musician. "Get changed and off the bed. I have a surprise for you."
"Should… I be concerned?" Rhetorical, of course she was concerned. It wasn't helped when her lover made the exact same noise a second time. Garnet eyes narrowed and Bonnibel laughed softly. "Please trust me, Marcy."
The eyes stayed narrow, but Bonnibel only smiled at her, something oddly warm and affectionate. Marceline could pinpoint the exact moment her resolve to be difficult broke. "...Fine. But no looking." Thank goodness she was already back under the blankets; it meant the candy golem wouldn't be able to see her light blush. Not that this made the outfit chosen for her any less puzzling. Nor did she allow herself to question why she was agreeing in the first place. But at least they were her own clothing: comfy grey cloth pants she often wore when stargazing, a loose-fitting and long-sleeved soft black shirt, and long red socks with some small grey patches, undoubtedly from a time when she feeling snackish. It only furthered her confusion. "Uh…"
Bonnibel smile remained. "I'm going to try something, Marcy. You don't need to be afraid, and I won't cross any of the boundaries you've set. I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me, okay?"
In any other circumstance such a statement would be amusing and Marceline may have even rolled her eyes at the overly-serious nature. But now? There was a reason for the disclaimer, there had to be, and it made the vampire tense. Yet… Bonnibel looked so certain, so sure of herself, and in the back of Marceline's mind she knew that if she truly did forgive her mate she'd have to make an effort to, she'd have to back-up her claim, because it wouldn't be fair to her princess for her to give mixed signals. After biting her lip she nodded, hoping she wasn't about to regret it.
Bonnibel beamed. "Wunderbar! Now, I need the blankets. Don't look, it's going to be a surprise."
With every bit of reluctancy the musician floated off of the bed, watching as the younger woman gathered up not only the blankets but the pillows as well, shooing away the vampire when she tried to help her carry the bundle. Marceline raised her hands in defeat before floating to corner, obediently not looking but grumbling. There was the sound of cloth rustling, of strange creaking, a brief cool breeze, then, finally, the sound of satisfaction. Impatient, Marceline turned around but aside from the blankets and pillows being gone nothing seemed different. "Are you ready, Marcy?"
"For…?"
With calm, deliberate movements Bonnibel motioned to the balcony's black-out curtains. Immediately Marceline tensed, eyes widening. "I know," Bonnibel whispered understandingly, soothingly. "I know what your mind must be telling you. It's night now, Marcy. We showed you the moon and stars before. I bet you've missed them, and I know they've missed you. The moon is very big tonight, and the sky is clear. Please… let me show you." Her hand extended, inviting its partner. "I won't let anything happen, and if it gets to be too much we can come right back in. I promise. You're safe."
What could she say to that? Well, she could say no, she supposed. But something about Bonnibel seemed to be discouraging such refusal. She looked so certain, so… gentle. Exactly like she used to before her crown, and Marceline found herself then - mentally, at least - and it was so much like when they would stargaze at her cabin before there even was a castle, when they would cuddle under a blanket and talk about nothing for hours if not all night. Deep down, deep in her heartguts, Marceline realized she wanted that again, wanted that security and closeness, that sense of belonging. Without realizing it she slid her hand, her shaking hand, into the much warmer one and was gently pulled forward. When the free pink hand reached for the curtains she instinctively shut her eyes and tried to recoil, but a kind tug discouraged her from retreating.
"Look, Marcy." Because it was an encouragement and not a command Marceline opened her eyes and glanced out the curtain. Immediately her eyes dilated because Bonnibel hadn't done the vision justice: the moon was bright and large, thousands if not millions of stars twinkling in its soft glow. Just like that her fear was forgotten, her apprehension of what lay beyond the castle walls. She faintly recognized her hand as being kissed. The sight before her was hypnotic, so much so that she neither registered Bonnibel returning to her side nor was she startled by her soft voice. "Would you like to go outside, Marcy? I've set up blankets and pillows. We can star-gaze together, just like we used to."
Like we used to… There was a pang in her heart that threatened to spread, but with enough effort Marceline crammed it back down. She's changed. She said so and I believe her. She wouldn't do this if she hadn't. So she… wants to? That was an odd thought, Princess Bubblegum wanting to engage in something as sentimental as this, especially at night when she should be resting in preparation for a long day of princess-ing before her. "It's… okay?" Even Marceline wasn't sure what she meant, but Bonnibel nodded.
"Yes. It's okay."
With that she pulled her lover forward, who didn't resist despite her mounting apprehension. Bonnibel pushed the balcony door open, and the vampire was met by a cool breeze. When had she last felt that? Once the candy golem crossed the threshold to the outside world she stopped, waiting for Marceline to decide if she would join her. With a gulp the half-demon landed and crossed the threshold with her. Not content to allow her mind time to panic the young scientist tugged Marceline to the pile of warm blankets and pillows, lowering herself and the older woman with her. How easily they settled into their default cuddle position, nuzzled against one another, Bonnibel's head resting on her shoulder as pink around wrapped around a grey body, a grey arm around pink shoulders. Under the spell of the night sky Marceline felt herself begin to relax. She was outside, but her dumb brain didn't hurt. She… was right. It's okay.
"I made a decision while you were resting, Marcy." Somehow her lover's voice was even warmer than the blankets, and Marceline wondered how deep in her box Princess Bubblegum must be, if she was clawing futilely to reach the surface. "When we were younger you courted me. Now it's my turn to court you."
"Court me?" In the old days, perhaps, Marceline would have made a joke out of the formal terminology. But that would be discouraging Bonnibel's newfound sentimentality, and Marceline liked that sentimentality.
"Yes," she declared. "You deserve to know how much you mean to me and to have a safe and loving home. You chose to forgive me, and while I'm not entirely sure why that is I need to be sure you understand how grateful I am."
"Bon… you don't need to do that. My soul already chose you, remember?"
"I do, Marcy, because as true as that is I've never stopped to ask myself if you were happy with its decision. I'm not a demon, so I made the choice for myself. For you, though… the decision was forced upon you."
"I mean… forced is kind of a strong word."
"A strong, accurate word, and if I'm honest with myself I'll admit that I never stopped to ask if you were content with it. When we were younger you were the one to pursue me first, and over the centuries I took your behavior for granted. So… consider this the prelude. I have so many ideas, but I wanted to begin by returning your night sky to you first and foremost." She had an urge to kiss her grey cheek but resisted. They were having a nice time, Marceline was beginning to relax, and she was finally in her arms. Why risk ruining things by overstepping her boundaries by being too intimate when she was so uncertain about her current situation? No, she'd wait for the vampire to give some sort of signal that such intimacy was alright before she did anything. Baby steps.
"...Okay," the queen whispered. No clarifier, no sarcasm, nothing but a nervous affirmation. "...But.. don't you have princess junk tomorrow?"
Bonnibel rested her head on her shoulder once more, sighing happily. "I've kept my schedule clear tomorrow. I wanted to be able to enjoy this night with you without anything related to my duties hanging over us. I wanted it to be about us. This night is just about us, Marcy."
"...Thought responsibility demands sacrifice." It wasn't quite bitter, but it was obvious that the vampire didn't trust the treat she was being offered. How could Bonnibel blame her? After everything that happened how could she fault her?
Instead she laced their fingers, resting their hands inside the soft blanket. "Yes. And you're the best sort of responsibility." She meant every word. "You're mine, Marcy. That means I'm responsible for keeping you safe and helping you recover. You've gone through a lot today… and I know that I want nothing more right now than to be with you and know that you're home and safe. The kingdom needs me much less than you do right now."
The two lapsed into an oddly comfortable silence, Marceline lulled by the warmth of her lover and the blankets, Bonnibel content to be in a situation she never dared dream would ever be her's again. Really, they didn't need to talk, and by the time the first hour passed they were fully cuddling, Bonnibel's head having moved from shoulder to chest, Marceline's hand resting on the back of her head, letting the younger woman's soft breath hit her shoulder. It struck her then, how reluctant she was to move, how comfortable she felt. It was odd, but who was she to argue? For the first time, something didn't hurt. "...I'll.. I'll talk to Finn and Jake tomorrow. About what dad said." Maybe Phoebe, too. "If he's right, then… I gotta try, right? And, well… they're dweebs, but they could probably take me down if I lost control. I just… I wanna get this over with."
Bonnibel was aware she was being asked an actual question, not a rhetorical one. "I think that's a good idea, Marcy. We can call them in the morning to arrange a training session." And now the bitter pill. "Would you like to call Phoebe as well?"
Marceline blinked, looking down just as the younger woman raised her head. "You… want me to talk to Pheebs?"
"It would make sense to, if you choose to anyway. She seems the most knowledgeable regarding your fire. The boys may be able to prevent you from losing control, but I'm sure she'll know more about how your fire itself works."
"...And.. you're okay with that?"
Bonnibel emphasized how okay with that she was by laying back down. "You're allowed to have friends, Marcy. Phoebe is a good for both moral and practical support. If you wish to contact her I encourage you to do so."
...Huh. That was unexpected to say the least. "So… what happens now?"
"What would you like to happen now?"
Marceline squirmed without realizing it. She had never been good at taking the lead, and it was made all the worse by knowing that she needed to this time. It wouldn't be fair to put that pressure on Bonnibel, who was looking to the vampire for cues on what behavior was acceptable on her part. But that didn't change the fact that- "...I don't know, Bon," she admitted. "Everything's still weird. Or… I'm still weird."
Bonnibel squeezed her hand encouragingly. "Why don't we call the boys and Phoebe tomorrow and arrange for them to meet in the Fire Kingdom, where destruction would be best contained? If it makes you feel safer to use your fire I'll stay here. Is that alright?"
Marceline considered that offer. Night seemed like a good idea - but then night always seemed like a good idea - and there was at least that one area she already knew she was alright in. Granted, she felt weird, and it was uncomfortable, and safe was a really strong and inaccurate word, but… "...Alright. That's okay. We can do that."
Another squeeze, as if that were a fair reward for compromising. "Thank you. If it becomes too much at any time you can, of course, just come home. It's important that we gradually bring you out of your comfort zone, but there's a difference between desensitization and flooding." Marceline stared at her blankly and the princess rolled her eyes. "We're going to do everything gradually, not all at once. In the meantime… why don't we spend tomorrow planning your concert?"
Marceline was almost gawking. "You… wanna help?"
There it was again, that tone in her voice that meant she was afraid of the treat, afraid she was going to be struck. Bonnibel wrapped her arm tighter. "Of course I want to help, Marcy. I'd love to."
"...You've never wanted to before."
Bonnibel took in a deep breath, but when that action caused Marceline to tense she sighed softly. "I know. I should have taken more of an interest in your life. Music has always been a core part of you, and by neglecting it I neglected you. This is…" She flushed from the admission. "It's a big deal to me personally, Marceline. I've kept every one of your concert posts and every album you've ever released-" the flush deepened, as if such fan-girling was inappropriate given their relationship "-but it's been years since I've seen you perform in person. With your permission I want to be part of making that a reality. I'm sure you're already quite prepared to make arrangements, but-"
"...I'd rather you help."
That hadn't been what she was expecting. Not at all, not so easily, not so soon. "You… you would?"
Marceline nodded, looking away, though whether it was because she was embarrassed or disassociating it was difficult to tell. "You're better at that kind of stuff. I can always tell the best place to do it and spread the word to my fans, but I'm not really good at the rest of it. It just happens 'cause so many people know who I am."
Bonnibel's smile was soft, but sad. Sad, because she knew she really should have been part of this since the beginning, sad because she knew Marceline had never asked for her help because she knew Princess Bubblegum would refuse, or help indirectly by providing an assistant. Only now, after everything, did Bonnibel understand that this was something Marceline had always wanted to do with her. She doesn't want my resources. She wants me. She's always just wanted me. Oh yes, this would be a concert for the ages. She would make sure of it. "Then we'll do it together by pooling both of our strengths." This time when she squeezed Marceline's hand it squeezed back. This time when she wrapped her arm tightly around the vampire's thin waist the vampire pulled her closer just as tightly. You're not alone anymore. I'll never leave you alone again, Bonnibel silently vowed.
There was silence again, and again it was comfortable. Marceline kept one eye on the sky, but the other was used to watch Bonnibel; how relaxed she looked, how she wasn't checking the time or trying to do something involving science while they were having quality time together. You want to make sure I'm happy with my soul's choosing you? It was weird to consider, but Marceline had never actually thought about it like that before, even when Princess Bubblegum was at her worst. Once she had come to terms with her soul being bound she had merely accepted it, happy that it chose her. She'd never considered any deeper implication, though now she felt like a ding dong. She was usually a lot better than that at catching subtleties. Man… you really have changed back, huh Bon? Without thought she began to stroke down her lover's gummy hair, enjoying the texture under her calloused fingers. When she still hid in the Nightosphere she would have fought against this very scenario fang and claw. What you did still hurts, and it probs will for a long time… but if you really are different now I don't have it in me to blame you for what someone else did. Man, I'm such a dingus. When Bonnibel's eyes closed in contentment that only cemented her self-assessment.
But it was nice, and that was undeniable. Being under her night sky, Bonnibel in her arms, both wrapped in warm blankets and soft pillows, a cool breeze that just encouraged them to cuddle closer… it was all nice, and that was undeniable. There were wounds in her heart - wherever that was - that could take years if not centuries to heal, but Marceline wasn't a patient woman, and she was unwilling to wait for her full recovery before attempting to forgive her mate. Did she have it in her to be furious forever? Certainly. But she didn't want to, she wanted to give the candy scientist a chance to prove herself.
At some point she dozed off, only stirring when she felt the woman in her arms rise. Marceline groaned in response, but that was only met with soft laughter. "We fell asleep, Marcy. Let's go in before the sun comes up."
Ah. Right. That thing. With a groan the vampire rose, bundling the blankets and pillows together in the process. Though she was content to just throw them all to the wolves - possibly literally - and sleep on the mattress Bonnibel insisted they remake the bed 'like civilized individuals'. Not that that stopped Bonnibel from immediately collapsing the bed the moment the task was finished, not did it stop her from scooping the older woman into her arms the second she joined her. Marceline chuckled despite herself. "Get some sleep, dork. We both got a long day tomorrow."
Yes, they would both have a long day indeed.