A/N - Omg! I'm a little surprised at how in the space of one chapter so many can completely turn on me lol. When I wrote the last chapter, I knew I left a lot of holes for you guys, hopefully this chapter ties it together for you.
Olivia slept late that morning, after spending most of the night out dancing.
Late for her was 7am, which was when she woke up to the sound of Lily's soft coos. She'd went to get her from Fitz's bedroom when she reached home a little after 1am so she could sleep with her that night.
She turned on her side and pulled out one breast and slipped it into her mouth as she hugged her close to her body.
"Morning Rose bud," she said sleepily.
No matter how tired she was, it was always a joy to wake up to her daughter.
She kissed her forehead as she nursed her and then once Lily had her fill, she burped her and got up to begin their day.
Her Sunday was free, although she planned to sketch some ideas on her pad as soon as Lily went for down her nap, until then, she had a few hours to spend time with her baby after a tumultuous week.
Fitz had a restless night. He couldn't get Olivia off his mind, he was bothered by the fact that she'd obviously been with someone else and what that would mean going forward.
"Who gave her that love mark on her ass? Was she in love with the person? Was she dating around? What did that mean going forward?"
All the words of growth and maturity that he'd told himself just one day earlier were gone. He couldn't confront Olivia about who she was seeing but he could find him.
When he woke in the morning, after he freshened up, he headed to the guard desk at the gate and entered the code into the door to let himself in.
"Where is Thomas and James, they were on Olivia's detail yesterday?" he asked all four men in the room.
"They are off today sir," one man replied.
"Okay, where did she go?"
One man began typing into the computer to pull up the notes they kept on Olivia's whereabouts. It was linked to a remote server that they had access to save documents to but not delete or transfer.
"Between 10 and 4, she was at The Lotus Flower day spa and then she came straight home and then she left again and went to the Prime steak restaurant then 1oak nightclub and then she came home."
"Who went with her to the spa?" Fitz asked.
"Jordanne Chu, Tamara Isaacs and Hope Heatherton."
"And the first one you checked her out right?"
"Yes, there was nothing that we could find to raise any suspicions, the other two are new, were working on verifying that they are who they say they are."
"Okay and James and Thomas didn't report that she went with anyone else."
"No sir."
"Okay, thanks."
As Fitz walked back towards the house he began thinking that maybe she got the love bites before the spa, they looked fresh but maybe she'd had them for a few days.
He walked backed to the guard desk.
"I need a list of places she's been to for the past week."
"Okay, sir, we'll get that ready for you."
"Okay."
Fitz was self aware enough to know his behavior wasn't healthy but he didn't care. He needed to find out who she was seeing and then figure out what to do with them.
Olivia gave Lily a warm bath and wrapped her in her soft robe, dressed her and placed her in the bouncer as she bathed herself. When she stepped out of the bathroom and bent down to slip on her bed slippers, she glimpsed her ass in the mirror and her mouth fell open.
She stood up and walk closer to the mirror and inspected it.
"Jesus," she said to herself.
It was then that she realized Fitz must've seen them the day before.
Seeing the marks on her body reminded her of the last time they were there, which was when Fitz would pepper her body with love bites whenever they made love. It began to sink in that she'd been with someone other than Fitz for the first time. Months ago, she found herself so hopelessly and deeply in love with him that they seemed impossible man but here she was. She'd just got fingered by a stranger and she didn't feel at all bad about it, she thanked therapy for that.
She reminded herself that it was him, he didn't want her, she tried but he didn't want her and so she needed to move on. No matter what she was doing, she knew he was doing worse things.
She got several numbers while on her night out but she didn't plan on calling anyone back, not immediately.
She sighed and pulled on her robe and then took Lily back to her closet to get dressed.
After they were she dressed, she went down to the kitchen to fix herself something to eat.
That was when Fitz walked through the door.
"Hey peanut," he said brightly to Lily.
He took her from Olivia's arms and kissed her on the forehead and then he sat at the kitchen island, staring directly at Olivia.
"So, how was yesterday?" He asked.
"Good, I had fun, it was fun."
"Good."
Olivia turned and went into the fridge and took out some fruits.
"What's the plan today?" He asked.
"Nothing, I have no plans."
"You want us to go out to eat breakfast?" He suggested.
"Go out to eat?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't know."
"Since when do you not know if you want to go out to eat?"
"I went out last night and I'm really tired, to get dressed and then have to wait for food, I'd rather just make something."
Fitz shrugged, "okay."
He got up from his seat. That's how she'd been for the past month at least. Cordial but distant.
"I'm gonna take her for a walk," he said.
"No, I wanted her to hang with me, you had her all day yesterday."
"We're keeping score now?"
"No. I just missed her that's all- you know what, it's okay, I'll just get her after I've finished eating."
"Okay." He responded.
Olivia made herself oatmeal with fruit. When she was finished eating she went outside to find Fitz and Lily by the pool. Fitz was sitting on the edge with his legs in the water and Lily was on his lap.
Olivia walked up behind Fitz and tapped him on the back. When he turned around, she stretched for Lily and he let her take her.
She took Lily and went back to her bedroom.
Later in the night, as Fitz laid in bed, Sasha texted him.
"Hey, why have you been so weird?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"We could talk about it in person if you came over tonight."
"Nope."
He replied almost immediately.
"Why? Are you busy? You're always busy."
"I'm not busy, I'm just not coming. I'm going to delete your number, I'd like for you to do the same with mine. I wish you all the best."
"What, what are you talking about? I'm calling you, answer the phone!"
She called him immediately but Fitz didn't answer. She called again and again and on the third call, he blocked her number and began deleting all the pictures and videos from his phone.
He didn't realize he had that many in his phone until he went through it all, most of them he forget were there. The only pictures he had left were the ones of Lily, he never took pictures of himself, though he was sure Olivia had pictures of him and Lily together. She told him that they needed to document her childhood, at least she would have pictures of them together, incase anything ever happened to either one of them.
When he reached the top of his photo library, he saw the picture of Olivia. He had pictures of Olivia and Lily together but only one of just Olivia. For all the hundred of pictures of other women sent them that he never really remembered, he perfectly recalled when, where and why he'd taken that picture of Olivia.
It was after they came back from the island and he took her to LA. They'd gone to dinner the night before and they got into a fight about him having slept with the waitress who was suppose to serve them and she stormed out of the restaurant. He ended up taking her to a food truck carnival, and she was so greedy that she ordered more food than she could eat and ended up having to throw it out. He remembered rushing her home because he needed to be inside her so bad he couldn't stand it and then the next morning as she laid sleeping on his chest, with the sheets draped across her body just perfectly, he pulled out his phone and took the picture then he went back to bed.
He used to look at it after the whole ordeal, after he'd buried Scott and Olivia had left and he was back at the base but he found that it made him sad more than anything else so he stopped but he couldn't find it in himself to delete it then and he certainly wasn't going to delete it now.
It was easy to cast her aside when he didn't think she was going anywhere. He thought he had all the time in the world to decide whether or not they stood any chance of being together but now that she possibly had someone, he wondered if the reasons he had for not being with her were good enough to lose her forever because he realized that was where they were headed: to the point of no return.
The next morning, he woke early, but as early as he woke, Olivia was already down in the kitchen with Lily.
"Morning," he said cheerfully.
"Good morning," Olivia responded back.
"Morning peanut," he said to Lily as he took her from her bouncer that was on top of the counter of the kitchen island.
"What are you making?" he asked Olivia.
"A smoothie."
"Do you have enough for two?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll pour you some when I'm done."
"What are you doing today?"
"I have a few interviews I have to conduct from 10-12, um I see Suzie at 1 and then my trainer at 3."
"Where are you doing these interviews?"
"Skype."
"Oh, smart."
He pulled Lily's pacifier from her mouth and watched her little lips turn into a pout. He kissed her forehead and then he slipped the pacifier back in and rested her gently in her bouncer.
"I'm gonna shower and get dressed then I'll be right down."
Olivia nodded as she continued blending up the fruits and vegetables and ice for the smoothie.
By the time Fitz came back, Olivia had already finished her drink and was sitting on the stool, playing peek-a-boo with Lily.
Fitz took his smoothie from the counter and took a sip.
"Jesus christ Olivia what's in this?"
He almost spat it out.
"Kale, blueberries, apples, carrots, cucumber and a wee bit of ginger."
"It tastes terrible."
"No, it's actually really good and it's healthy for you."
He took another sip.
"Thanks."
He kissed Lily again on his way out and then left for work.
As he walked through the door, Olivia found herself, yet again, imagining his body under his clothes. Every since her encounter at the spa, she couldn't stop daydreaming about sex and the problem with that was that the only man she'd ever truly been with was Fitz, so hard as she tried, he was the only one she could imagine inside her.
The initial high from her encounter at the spa had died down half way through her night out. In retrospect, she felt like in the moment, it might have seem infinitely better than it was in actuality because she hadn't had sex in so long but now, it was forgettable, she didn't even remember what his face looked like, much less remember him enough to fantasize about sex with him.
Fitz on the other hand, was memorable. She remember every encounter with him in great detail, from the very first time in the tent on that stormy night on the island, to the second time by the lagoon, to the third time which the morning after they'd arrived in LA and they had sex in the shower; the fourth time was after the went on their first date, the fifth time was the first time she sucked him off. She especially remembered their last time, even for how horrible it had started off, it was the first time she saw him cry and got to hold him and kiss him and that was when she knew for sure that she loved him, even with all his flaws.
Lily cooed, breaking her from her train of thought.
Olivia smiled and kissed her on the stomach, Lily smile right back at her, even with the pacifier in her mouth.
"Come on Lilykins, lets go get ready to interview these girls and see what their made of."
Fitz got to work a little after 8am.
He'd managed to drink all the smoothie as much as the taste disgusted him and began his morning how he usually did.
Lucky came to see him for lunch a little after 1pm and Fitz found himself not particularly excited for their talk, since Lucky would probably end up saying 'I told you so'.
Today, they sat by the large oval conference table in Fitz's office because that was where the kitchen staff had set up their lunch.
"What do you look like that?" Lucky said as she sat opposite to Fitz on the table.
"Olivia is seeing someone."
"How do you know?"
"She had like 4 love bites on her ass."
"Damn, so she got herself a man, told you that would happen," Lucky said as he bit into his steak.
Lucky stopped eating and began laughing.
"That's why you look like that."
"How?"
"Like a beat dog."
"I don't look like a beat dog, granted I'm not happy about this but I've done some thinking and I'm gonna figure this all out, it'll be fine."
"How you gonna do that?"
"She told me she loved me, you don't just fall out of love with someone that quick, what has it been, like two months since the whole fight, I'll figure it out."
"Isn't this what got you in this mess the first place?"
"What?"
"The fact the you think you can have her whenever you're ready and put her to the side when you don't. Maybe she still loves you, she probably still does but what if you're just not worth the trouble anymore. Honestly, I hate to keep sayin I told you so but she probably just gave up on you. I mean you're still fucking other people-"
"I was only sleeping with Sasha and I blocked her number last night. I wasn't sleeping around with a whole bunch of different people, just her and now it's over."
Lucky made a skeptical gesture.
"By the way, I hadn't been sleeping with anyone up until like a month ago, two months since Lily was born, I didn't touch anyone."
"Okay, that still doesn't explain how you gonna get her back, I mean...hickeys on her ass, they probably been having fucking for a minute, you don't give someone a hickey the first time you have sex." Lucky chuckled. "Wow, on the ass too, she's a little freak...it's always the little ones."
"Can you stop," Fitz said in annoyance.
"What are you gonna do?" Lucky asked.
"Find him, I guess."
"What happens when you find him?"
"I don't know: I'll probably break his fucking legs."
"Wow, it amazes how you deal with your problems, it's so unhealthy but, if you need a lookout, I gotcha back."
Fitz gestured a nod and bit a piece of his steak.
"Apart from beat up every guy she sleeps with, how do you plan on getting her back- which-I did tell you this would happen, I can't stress enough how much I told you this was gonna happen."
"I'm gonna tell her I was wrong," Fitz said.
"What if that doesn't work?" Lucky said.
He wanted to treat Fitz's new found epiphany with healthy skepticism but he did want them back together, if that's what Fitz wanted then he would support him.
In thinking, Lucky had an epiphany of his own.
"You know what gringo, I'm gonna do you a favor, I'm gonna go talk to Olivia, I'm gonna plead your case, and see what she says then I'll let you know how to approach her."
"She's gonna know that I sent you."
"I'm smoove, suave, fluido,…"
"Okay, I get it, but I'd rather you didn't."
"Too late, I'm stopping by tomorrow to see my goddaughter, I got her an 'I love mexico' t shirt and I have to drop it off."
"Lucky, don't say anything to Olivia."
"Okay, I won't," Lucky lied.
"You're lying."
"Okay so then why are you asking me if you know I'm gonna lie."
Fitz shrugged.
"Just don't do anything stupid."
"Didn't I just tell you I was suave."
"I know you're suave but still, don't do anything stupid."
"Alright," Lucky siad, relenting.
"I guess you're right," Olivia admitted to Suzie.
Lily had fallen asleep in her arms and she went to put her in her bassinet in her bedroom. Now it was just her and Suzie out on the balcony.
"I thought that finally being with someone else would make it easier to move on but it's done the opposite, granted I didn't plan what happen at the spa but I didn't stop it either and that's okay because I'm grown woman and I can have sex with whomever I want so why can't stop thinking about him. It actually makes me so annoyed at myself."
"What do you think about?"
"Sex...alot of sex. I think about us parenting Lily, but not just co-parenting, were a couple."
"Memories of sex or fantasies?"
"Both. I think about things we never got to do, we weren't together very long."
"It's not uncommon. He's your first love, first man you've ever been with," Suzie said.
"Yes but I thought I was over that. We've been talking about this for the past two months and I thought I got better. I see him, and I know he's sleeping with all these women and it makes me sick but you know, I deal with it, like you said, and I know there's no way we're getting back together so it feels like a waste of time and energy to think about him."
"I think you need to start dating," Suzie suggested.
"You've said that before and I hear you, I keep thinking I'm going to but then I change my mind, I'm so busy-"
"Olivia, you should start dating. You said you received several numbers when you were out with friends on Saturday night, the only way to get over an old love is to find new love, not a new person to have sex with, that never works, not a new friends, a new love. You can't do that if you two live in the same house."
"I know what you're gonna say: 'tell him to move out,'."
"Yes," Suzie said.
"I can't, I need him here to protect me and Lily?"
"Olivia, I understand your fear, you've said you lived a complicated life but when was the last time you were threatened?"
Olivia shrugged, "Two months ago."
"And didn't you say that the man who'd made the threat commited suicide?"
"Yes but…"
"-but I think you have top of the line security, you have a large team of security guards here everyday and a very thorough security system, I think safety is your excuse to keep him here. He doesn't live that far away from you, so he'll only be a stone through away. No man serious about a relationship is going to be okay with you living with the father of your child while you two date and try to come to terms with your relationship. As long as he is here, you're stuck in the perpetual state of none progress as far as I'm concerned. I've been telling you this for a while but you have to cut him loose."
Olivia thought over her words carefully. Suzie had been the main voice of reason, telling her to get over her fears and paranoia, telling her to get over Fitz and move on. In some ways it had worked, had it not been for Suzie, she probably would never had gone along with her 'happy surprise' at the spa. Had it not been for Suzie, she might have confronted Fitz about what she saw in his phone. Had it not been for Suzie, she might have never ranged too far from the comfort of her home. Suzie's advice was sound thus far but she wasn't sure about Fitz moving out entirely, that was a step she wasn't sure she was ready to take. Safety came first, and whatever Fitz's flaws were, he was a protector, she wasn't ready to give up her protector, especially for Lily's sake."
"I'll think about it."
Suzie nodded, "you've been saying that for weeks, just promise me you'll have the conversation. My only concern is what's in you and your daughter's best interest."
I know," Olivia said.
Their session ended soon after and Olivia spent the rest of the day, thinking through what Suzie had said and by the time Fitz came home that night, she'd rationalized that maybe Suzie was right. She might have been overestimating the benefit of Fitz staying at the house.
After Lily went down for her nap, she waited in her bedroom for a while. Giving him time to bathe, (Lily had puked on his neck) and settle down then she went to his bedroom door and knocked.
"Liv?" he called.
"Yes, it's me."
"Come in."
Olivia let herself inside. Fitz was laying on his bed, watching tv.
"Can we talk?" she said.
"That's never good," he said out loud. He was hoping to beat her to the 'can we talk' conversation.
Olivia sat on the side of his bed and took a deep breath.
"I think...I think that maybe it's time we considered you moving out."
"What?"
The words caught Fitz completely off guard.
"I think that Lily will soon be old enough to be able stay with you at your house and of course it wouldn't be right away, I just think it will be better for both of us, if we lived separately."
Fitz chuckled and shook his head, "so you fuck one guy and already you wanna kick me to the curb."
"What- that's not what this is about?"
"So what is it about then? Was he so great that you're willing to put your safety as risk just so what: he can sleepover?"
"What's your problem Fitz? Is it because your saw the love bites? You have no right to be angry about that."
"I know," he said.
"You said you didn't want me remember, I reached out to you and you said no and during the entire time and now you've been sleeping with everyone who has a pulse and I get-na little oral and finger banging at the spa, I didn't even actually have sex with him and you act as if it's the end of the world."
"I have not been sleeping with everyone-"
"-Suck it up, that's what I do."
"Fine."
"Is that all you have to say, 'fine'?"
"What else do you want me to say?"
"You know what, forget it, I don't know why I talk to you."
She rolled her eyes and got up to walk away.
"I wanted to have an adult conversation with you but you just make it so impossible."
Fitz stood, "can you just tell me where this is coming from. Obviously I know this isn't permanent but why now?"
Olivia stopped by the door.
"Suzie thinks that it would be better for me, to help me move on I guess, she doesn't think it's healthy for you to stay here."
"To...help...you move on, does that means there's still a chance?" he asked the question but prepared for rejection.
It might have been the worst time to segue but he did it anyway.
She thought about the question for such a long time that Fitz thought she wasn't going to answer.
"You ask that now? Do you only care now because you think I slept with someone else? If that's why you want me then it's not good enough. I want you to be with me because- you want me- not because you think I'm your property and you need to hold onto me just so no one else can get me."
"That's not why," he said with a sigh, "I've struggled with my feelings for you. For the longest time I felt that I couldn't love Scott and be with you because that would be betrayal but I'm realizing that that doubt I have is-" he stopped to gather his thought, "I can't sit by and watch you move on without me, and spend the rest of my life hopping from woman to woman because I didn't have the guts to be with the only woman I loved. I'm sorry but it took me thinking that you'd given up on me to realized how stupid I've been. It's not about the sex or the lovebites."
"Are you sure about Scott?" she asked.
He sighed, "Scott's dead, I love him but I love you too, just because I lost him doesn't mean I have to lose you too. It's a pretty shitty situation but it's what we have, I'm willing to accept it I just don't want to lose you. I love you."
She'd been waiting so long for him to say those words and mean them. He said it before but this time it felt different, he said he loved her now it felt like he was saying he was in love with her and that made a big difference.
"What about the other women?" she asked.
"There's only been one for the past month and I ended it."
"Only one?"
She wasn't sure she believed him. She saw a lot of pictures in his phone, albeit some might have been there for a while, some of them might have been the same woman, she didn't really pay attention to faces.
"Yeah, I thought it was better to just be with 1 person than to run around with 10."
"And she doesn't mean anything to you?"
"No, were weren't dating or anything, if that's what you mean and I don't have feelings for her."
"And you were always safe?"
"Always."
Olivia took a deep breath, "I love you too, you know that but…I...we have to talk to someone."
Fitz didn't know how to reply to that.
She turned and walked out the door then closed it behind her.
Fitz let out a breath he'd been holding in and then plopped down on his bed. He had no clue how he was going to sleep after their conversation and so he'd spent time going over everything she said, line for line.
He tried to figure out why the therapist would want him to move out, maybe she did mean well, he'd already had her looked into but it wouldn't hurt to check again. He also thought that beating up the poor guy she got a little oral from wouldn't really help their standing so he decided to let that one go.
The next morning, he almost didn't want to face her. He was dreading the moment she would come to him and say:
"I've thought about it and it's not worth it."
Regardless, he still had to face her after he bathed in some cold water to get rid of his morning erection. His chastised himself for it, it might have been the worst morning to have one.
After he bathed and got dressed, he walked to Olivia's door and knocked.
"Come in," she said.
Fitz opened the door.
"Hey."
"Hey."
She was laying on the bed, Lily was still sleeping on her chest.
"I fed her and she went right back to sleep," Olivia said.
Fitz walked over and kissed Lily in her hair.
"I'm gonna head out to work."
"Fitz, can you take the day tomorrow, I'd like for you to speak with Suzie together."
"Suzie hates me. Can we find someone neutral?"
He wasn't excited about therapy. He'd gone to therapy before and got a lot of diagnoses but little actual help.
"She doesn't."
"Okay, I'll take the day."
Olivia nodded.
Fitz turned and walked out and Olivia watched his ass as he did.
Olivia spent the day working. She conducted Skype interviews, she'd been emailing candidates she already spoke with and she had the business firm working on filing paperwork for her company. She was busy that she left Sonia to watch Lily all on her own which Sonia didn't mind, it was Olivia who didn't usually leave them alone, she always like to keep Lily close but today she was so busy that it was impossible.
The cloud that hung over her while she worked was Fitz. She hated the fact that it took him seeing a few hickeys on her ass to realize that he wanted her, even if he couldn't admit that fully.
When he told her he loved her, she believed him, she felt he truly meant it and she also felt like they owed it to Lily to try make it work. She would be better off with both her parents. Olivia also felt guilty. She told herself that he would need time after everything that had happened just a year ago. In truth, it had only been a little more than 3 months since Lily was born and a little more than 4 months since Fitz came back into her life. Not at all a long time for him to reconcile his feelings for her and decide to be with her. She thought that the least she could give him was a chance, neither of them were perfect, if she tried and it didn't work then so be it, she would resign knowing that at least they tried; for themselves and for their daughter.
Fitz stood at his desk, packing his laptop and some files in his briefcase to head home when his cellphone rang.
"What?"
"Sir, we looked into the doctor as you had asked."
"And?"
"She checks out but we did find something very suspicious that wasn't there the first time we checked."
"What?"
"A payment, 50 grand, a little under 2 months ago."
"From who?"
"Untraceable, however, we are trying to find out what she did for that money, maybe that can help us figure out who paid her."
"Okay, I need you to do that as quick as possible," Fitz said.
"Yes sir."
Fitz hung up as Lucky walked into the room holding up and tiny 'I love Mexico' shirt.
"Isn't this cute?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Lucky threw the shirt to Fitz.
"Tell her it's from uncle Lucky."
Fitz nodded and packed the shirt into his briefcase then he headed down to his car and drove to Olivia's.
When he arrived at the house. He went through his usual routine only this time they ate dinner by the kitchen island and then prepared Lily for bed after. Olivia never said anything about their conversation last night and Fitz never said anything about what he learned about Suzie.
He slept in his room, and she in hers and the next morning, he got an early call from one of the men, who served as in investigator, investigating the people who came around Olivia.
Fitz sat in his room, wondering what to do with the information he'd received after he hung up from the call. The doctor was coming at 1pm. It was long wait and he knew the longer he waited, the angrier he would get.
After sitting for about a half hour on his bed, he got up and brushed his teeth and then went to find Olivia. She wasn't in her bedroom, she was in the nursery, preparing Lily for a bath.
"Look Lily, dad's here to help you with your bath."
Lily smiled. She smiled whenever either of them spoke to her.
Fitz waited until they finished bathing Lily and Olivia had laid her down.
"We need to talk," Fitz said.
"I know you've been waiting-"
"It's not about that, it's about your therapist."
Olivia sighed, "the only way we're gonna work is if we talk to someone-"
"Yeah but we can't talk to Suzie."
"Is there someone else that you want to see?"
"Someone paid Suize to record your conversations, I'm guessing it's the same person that got that guy to call you and threaten you."
Olivia smiled, mostly from shock, "What?"
"Yeah, they paid her about a week or so after you got the call and I'm guessing that's why they stopped with the threats, because they got someone close to you."
Olivia walked over to Lily's rocking chair and sat down.
"What else?"
"We hacked into her emails and whoever kept contacting her told her to you get you comfortable and also told her to convince you to get rid of me."
Olivia shook her head, "So I could be alone when they came for me?"
Olivia thought back on the last two months of sessions. It all seemed like sound advice, she told her not to be so scared all the time, to move on from Fitz and forgive herself and over the past two months, that's exactly what she'd been doing. It all sounded like the right advice, it sounded like things any sane therapist would tell her client which was why it was so hard to accept it. In the end Suzie had convince her that she was paranoid that everytime she thought about any likely scenario, like the one she found herself in currently, she felt silly and brushed it off.
All her personal feelings and insecurities and fears were all in the hands of whoever it was that was trying to get to her to hurt her and she just couldn't contemplate what that would mean.
"You still don't know who's behind all this?" Olivia asked.
"The email she was corresponding with is a dead end but the good thing is that when she comes here in a few hours, we can ask her ourselves."
She took a deep breath and stood.
"I'm need some air, I'm going for a walk."
She walked past him. Lily was laying in her crib, quietly cooing to herself.
"Are you okay?" he asked, stopping her before she could get to the door.
"No, Fitz, I'm not okay!"
"I know, I just meant, how are you feeling?"
"I've been telling her my secrets and she's been selling them to my enemies how to you think I feel!"
She pulled her arm from him and walked off.
Fitz didn't see her again until Suzie had arrived. He waited on the balcony, where he knew they usually met and moments before Suzie walked in, Olivia walked in and sat on the chair beside him. She had a dead scowl on her face.
Suzie walked onto the balcony, surprised to see them both.
"Olivia, Mr. Grant- hello."
Olivia didn't respond.
"Have a seat, Suzie, we thought a good chat been us was well due," Fitz said.
Suzie sat down and took her notepad from her bag and then rested it on the floor and rested her phone on the table.
Suzie could see the venom spread across Olivia face and it made her uncomfortable.
"Let me just start by saying, I don't think all three of us should be speaking, I'm Olivia's therapist and we've been doing great work so far I don't want to hinder our progress by having a dual session before it's time," Suzie began.
"Tell him why you wanted him to move out," Olivia finally blurted out angrily.
"Olivia, I can see that you're very angry and I'm not sure why but as I said before, I just think that, well, you've said that it bothers you that he sleeps with other women and you've said that you're trying to move on, you've made real progress and I think that it would be best that you live separately and create some sort of schedule to accommodate your daughter."
Olivia felt hot, as if she was going to explode from her anger. She began to hyperventilate.
"Olivia, I know this can be upsetting but-"
Olivia lurched across the table and grabbed her by the hair and began tearing out clumps of black hair.
Suzie managed to scream out before Olivia shoved some of the hair she'd pulled out into Suzie's mouth and covered her mouth so the workers in the house wouldn't hear her.
Her screamed had turned into a mumble when Fitz pulled Olivia off of Suzie and wrapped his arms around her.
"Liv," he whispered, "calm down, shhhh, it's okay."
Olivia began to cry and Fitz immediately remembered that last time he'd seen her so angry. It was when she got into a fight with Mellie and scraped half her face off.
Suzie was crying too as she frantically tried pulling strands of hair from her mouth as she coughed and choked on them.
Olivia began to take deep breaths and tried her best to calm down enough to stop crying.
"You put our daughter's life in danger," Olivia said, staring down at her. "You are our enemy. Do you know what we do to our enemies?"
Fitz let Olivia go, she was still angry but she wasn't hyperventilating anymore.
"We have some questions and you're going to answer them," Fitz said.
Suzie shook her head, still crying, "I don't know anything."
She was still pulling hair from her mouth.
Olivia could see patches of bald, bleeding scalp from where she stood.
"You are going to answer our questions," Fitz said again.
Fitz's dead calm voice scared her more than Olivia.
"Who paid you?" Olivia asked.
"I don't know."
Olivia lurched to grab her again but Suzie covered her face and head with her hands and cowered.
"Please, I don't know, I swear, they just transferred the money in my account and then a guy approached me at my office, he never told me his name, he just told me what they wanted me to do."
"How do I know you're not lying now, you've been lying all along," Olivia said.
"I'm not-che-check- my email."
"We have those already, thanks" Fitz said. "What else?"
"That's all I know, I swear."
Fitz took her phone from the table.
"Open it," he commanded.
Suzie hesitated, then opened her phone and gave it back to Fitz.
"She's recording all of this," he said with an angry chuckle as he scrolled through the phone. He scrolled through her voice recorder on her phone and saw hours of recording and then he went to photos, he'd barely scrolled before he came across photos of Lily. Photos that she'd apparently snuck and taken while Olivia held her.
Fitz turned to Olivia and showed her the pictures.
Olivia looked at the pictures and her eyes filled with tears then she turn back to Suzie.
"Get out of my house," Olivia said calmly
Suzie got up quickly, grabbed her bag and ran, leaving her phone with them. Fitz had remembered the passcode she entered and disable the passcode requirement on the phone before he forgot it.
Olivia turned and watched Suzie run to her car.
"Ms. Lee," Fitz called loudly.
Suzie looked up.
Fitz pressed his index finger against his lips, letting her know to keep her mouth shut. Suzie watched the gesture and then fumbled and opened her car door and sped off.
"I want you to kill her."
"I know."
"She does not get to wake up tomorrow after what she did."
Olivia shook her head and wiped her eyes then turned and walk out of the room.
Hours passed and it was now almost midnight and Fitz had not come back. She knew what she was asking him to do, but she couldn't stand Suzie being alive another day.
Her hair was still damp and curly from her shower as she laid against her pillow on her bed. All she had on was a slightly damp bathrobe, tied tightly around the waist.
She spent most of the afternoon angry, so angry she had left Lily with Sonia because she didn't want to have that hateful energy around Lily, especially if it was coming from her mother.
The self loathing came later, after Sonia had left and she was all alone with Lily because Fitz had left as well. She felt pity for her daughter, that she'd brought her into a life of drama and unpredictability from her past.
It was just a few minutes after midnight when she heard Fitz's car in front of the house. She heard his car door slam shut and then the front door slam shut and moments later, he walked into her bedroom and kneeled by her bed.
There were no lights on in the room but the bright security lights in the yard shone in her bedroom through the balcony, they could both see perfectly.
"What took you so long?"
"I stopped at my house to shower and change before I came back."
Olivia nodded.
"How did you do it?" she asked.
"She swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills in her bathroom, someone will find her, eventually."
Fitz pulled off the gloves he'd been wearing all night and stuffed them in his pocket.
"Was I wrong for wanting this?" Olivia asked.
"No, I would've done it even if you didn't ask me to."
She leaned up and sat on the edge of the bed in front of Fitz
"She'd been rearing me like sheep for slaughter and I was too stupid to notice. I've been following her advice because I thought it was going to help but it could've ended up killing me and Lily."
Olivia was on the verge of tears again.
"For what it's worth, I didn't plan on leaving," Fitz said trying to lighten her up.
He rested his hands lightly on her thighs.
"You're going to be okay, Lily's going to be okay," Fitz turned and looked at Lily's bassinet where she was sleeping and then turned back to Olivia and attempted to stand but she held onto his hands.
"Stay." She said as she rested her forehead against his.
She was hoping he'd initiate, the way he used to. She remember how he'd act as if his head would explode if they didn't have sex immediately and he barely ever had the patience or good sense to put on a condom whenever they had sex. He'd always made her feel desired, she wanted to feel that way again.
She opened her legs a little wider so he could fit between them and that was all the signal Fitz needed.
He held her face and pressed his lips against her lips, slowly kissing her bottom lip then top and then when she'd parted her lips enough to let him in, he slowly danced his tongue into her mouth.
He untied the belt of her robe and let it fall open as he left her lips so she could catch her breath and kissed his way down her body slowly.
He'd' still been kneeling on one leg on floor in between her legs as he kissed down her neck. Olivia stretched her body back. Her breathing had already quickened in it's uneven paces.
She had forgotten how his tongue felt when he drove it in and out of her mouth or when tasted her skin in between kisses. How it made her skin tingle.
When he reached in between her breasts, he maneuvered his hands to her breasts and ran his thumbs gently over her nipples.
Olivia let out a quick breath and then ran her hands through his hair and kissed the top of his head as he continued kissing down her stomach tasting her skin as he went.
He stopped in between her legs and then he kissed where her lower lips began. Soft light pecks that tickled deliciously.
"Mmm," she moaned softly.
Fitz heard the sound and he was pleased, he'd missed it. He stopped kissing her and stood up.
Olivia was thankful he'd stopped, she was praying he wouldn't make her cum until he was inside her.
Fitz pulled his black hooded sweatshirt over his head and threw it on the ground. Olivia helped him to pull his t shirt over his head and threw it on the ground as well.
Once he was bare chested, she ran her hands over his torso, feeling the hard muscles. He quickly began to undo his pants, his erection was beginning to hurt, he needed to free it.
Olivia pulled his boxer briefs down slowly. She could see the wet mark on his crotch when where his precum had spilled. He was so erect that stuck up in the air, all the veins that ran along his shaft engorged and pulsating.
Fitz stepped out of his pants and underwear and then wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her. Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as he climbed unto the bed.
Fitz laid her underneath his body and spread her legs open. Olivia's breathing began to quicken once again in anticipation.
He smiled as he pinned her hands above her head.
"What?" she asked.
He smirked again, "I am going to fuck the shit outta you."
"Yeah?" Olivia said softly, with a smile as she kissed him.
Fitz fisted himself and rubbed his tip up and down her slit, feeling how wet she was to make sure she was ready.
"Fitz..." she panted.
He held his shaft and guided himself inside her, slowly, feeling her walls swallow him up and then melt around him..
"Ahhh... ," she moaned with her mouth gaping, breathing heavily.
Fitz closed his eyes and relished in the feel for a moment before he began thrusting. Deep and slow.
Olivia bit her lip, closed her eyes and hugged unto him tightly, grabbing one hand unto his tattooed bicep as he grinded his hips, slow and circular against hers.
"He was good, he was so good," she thought to herself.
She didn't remember it being so good but maybe she was wrong, maybe it had been like that just before and it only felt new because it had been so long since she last had it.
She was smitten with him all over again.
"Is that deep enough for you Livie," he whispered in her ear.
"Yesss…" she panted.
"Did you miss me? I missed you," he breathed out roughly.
Olivia nodded eagerly, "I missed you, I did."
It hadn't been three minutes since he had been inside her but she felt her walls on the verge of explosion.
"I'm gonna cum…"
"No, no, not yet…"
"No-" she curled her toes and squeezed her legs shut around him, she could feel herself squirting, stiffening as her orgasm took her. Her legs trembled uncontrollably, as her walls tightened and pulsated around him, before she was done, he stiffened on top of her and locked his lips on hers, spewing a warm load of cum into her as he kissed her.
It was over so quick but they both knew there was more to come.
When he broke the kiss and leaned up, he saw Olivia's wet cheeks.
"Stop."
She smiled and wiped her face, "I'm not crying, I swear."
Fitz leaned down and kissed her again and then they both froze then they heard Lily coo from her bassinet.
"Oh no, we woke her," Olivia whispered.
They both kept their eyes on the bassinet, waiting for another sound but after a few more seconds there was none.
Fitz leaned up and slowly pulled out of her. Her hole was gaping where he had been and she felt his semen running out of her.
Fitz stood by the side of the bed. His penis was wet with her fluid and as she stared at him, he lifted her by the waist, his semen ran down her leg as she wrapped them around his waist.
"Where are we going?"
"We're gonna wake Lily if we continue in here."
Fitz carried her down the hall to his bedroom.
A/N - Sorry I had to end it but it picks up right here in the next chapter. This chapter passed 8,000 words, it was turning into a novel.