"It's... it's beautiful!" Standing before Stan was a life-size wax statue of himself. If he was every doused in a couple of thousand pounds of glitter. "Hot Belgian waffles, this is perfect!"

Mabel smiled proudly at her work. "I'm glad you like it, this statue is covered in my blood, sweat, tears... and other fluids."

"Uh, that's... that's great sweetie. Just maybe don't say that at the grand opening."

"Ooh! The grand opening, huh? Getting pretty business-y, aren't you, Grunkle Stan?"

"Yeah, yeah. Now off to school. By the time you kids come back, we'll have a plan for the greatest attraction in Gravity Falls!" Grunkle Stan squinted. Something was wrong. He looked left and right. "I think your brother's missing."

"Nah, he went with Grunkle Ford. He wanted to be early so that he didn't miss the G-lympics thing."

"That sounds like him, alright. We both have some nerdy brothers, huh? But don't worry, Mabel. Even if Dipper gets thousands of trophies, you're still a gold star in my eyes."

"Aww, Grunkle Stan! That's so sweet." Mabel wrapped her arms around Stan. Stan smiled and hugged her back.

"Okay, okay. Now shoo, me and Soos have a lot of work to do."

"Doesn't Soos work at the school?"

"Yeah, well, I'm thinking of hiring him for the attraction. He's... dependable."

"Okey-dokey! See you after school, business owner Grunkle Stan!"

Mabel walked out of view towards the town. Business owner Stan, he thought. Doesn't sound half bad.

Starting a business proved to be a problem. It had been three days, and Stan Pines still needed a tourist attraction. Something that was popular and familiar, with a strange twist to it that nobody had seen before. But what kind of attraction could do that? Stan looked at the wax figure standing in the corner of the kitchen. "What?" The statue looked at him. Stan shook his head and grabbed a can of brown meat. Nothing else was really happening in life. Dipper was doing extremely well in the G-lympics, and Stan wasn't surprised. But Stan was also worried about how hard the kid was working He almost seemed to forget that there were other people in the world. Yesterday morning, he cooked breakfast himself at 4 in the morning before going back to thinking. It was insane. Stan could never try to do that.

Stan headed to the TV and slumped into the sofa. He pressed the remote and the TV flickered to life. "Who's cute as a button? And always your frien-" Stan groaned and turned off the TV. Another Lil Gideon ad. That kid had built a tourist trap that nobody could escape from. A "child psychic"! How cute and adorable! Ugh. Stan went back into the kitchen. He sat down and looked at the wax statue. "Oh statue," he sighed. "What can I make out of this house in the woods? Sure I have one wax statue, but I need more than one if I want to make a proper tourist trap! And a good enough one that it beats that stinking Gleeful."

The wax statue didn't move. Stan decided to go for a walk. He wasn't doing anything productive in the woods.

Stan put on some pants and a shirt. They felt slightly tighter than he remembered. Stan nodded at the wax statue. "Take care of this place, will ya? And try not to get murdered." Stan stepped out of the house and began walking towards the town. Stan didn't know much about the town since he normally sent Dipper out to do the shopping. Although he did occasionally go to torment a few people.

Stan had only just entered the town when a pick-up truck pulled over next to him. "Heyya Mr. Pines, whatch'a doin'?"

"Soos? I'm walking."

"Didn't you tell me that we had to do some work today at your house in the woods?"

Stan sighed. "Soos, I need your help. I got one wax statue, but I'm gonna need to find something else if I wanna beat that Gideon kid."

"Gideon Gleeful? The child psychic? He's incredible! He even told me what breakfast I was gonna eat later that day!"

"I hate that creepy doll."

"I didn't like the breakfast," Soos quickly said.

"What I need is a strange new twist. I can't think of anything myself." Stan crossed his arms.

Soos unlocked the truck doors. "Mr. Pines, do you... wanna get in the truck?"

Stan nodded and opened the door. Once he sat down, he looked at Soos. "Drive, Soos." The two began driving around the town. Past the high school, where students were escaping, past the fishing lake, where crashed fishing boats lay, through the forest and back out again. "It's crazy. I started asking the wax statue for suggestions. I can't ask Mabel, bless her heart, to keep making statues for me. She's got a good life ahead of her. It's best she focus on herself right now."

"Mmhmm." Soos nodded.

"But how else can I make a wax statue exhibit? It would be a miracle if we found a-"

"a garage sale selling wax statues of historical figures? Look, Mr. Pines, the poster!" Soos slowed the truck down as it neared a tree with a poster hammered onto it. "GARAGE SALE: WE HAVE WAX STATUES OF HISTORICAL FIGURES. PLEASE GET RID OF THEM."

Stan grinned. "Soos, let's get ourselves some wax figures."

"I must warn you," said the short old man who organised the garage sale. "These statues come at a terrible price."

Stan looked at one of the tags. "Twenty dollars? I'll just take 'em when you're not looking."

"What?"

"I said I was gonna rob ya."

The seller wiped his forehead with a handkerchief. "B-but that's illegal."

"Eh, I've handled worse crimes. Thank you!"

"Uh, th-thank you for coming, sir!"

Stan walked back to Soos' van and rolled his eyes. "Soos, I need you to drive up to that man's garage and take as many statues as you can. Preferably all of them. Wait for me back here and keep the engine on. Here are the keys to open the garage." Stan pulled a set of keys from his pocket.

"Mr. Pines, did you steal these?"

"Just one of a few tricks I learned in Columbia. Now go, I need to distract the man."

Stan made his way back to the short man. "Excuse me, sir. I know you must be busy with this garage sale-"

"Actually, not many people have come."

"Oh." Stan blinked. "Well, in which case, you have some time to listen to what I have to say. It's guaranteed to get me - I mean you - piles of cash!"

The man wiped his forehead and looked up at Stan. "Really?"

"Oh yes," Stan nodded vigorously. "Come, walk away from your garage with me." Stan wrapped his arm around the man and pulled dragged him to the other side of the house. Out of the corner of his eye, Stan noticed the pick-up truck edging towards the garage.

"Why are we here, sir?" The man wiped his forehead.

"Uh, because." Stan answered. "Because it is refreshing to not be looking at your job, isn't it?"

"It is, actually, yes."

"But that's the thing. It is refreshing. And it's easy." Stan noticed Soos putting a wax figure of Abraham Lincoln in the passenger seat of the truck. He looked back at the man. "But doing easy things is not always the right way to go. You have to make some hard choices for your business."

"I'm not running a business, it's just a garage-"

"Choices that make you fight your moral code. Choices that feel wrong, but inside you know it's the best thing for you and your family." Soos was driving away from the garage. "Which is why," Stan said loudly, "you need to look away from your garage until you realise what hard choice you need to make to grow your business."

"Um, okay." The man wiped his forehead and looked away from the garage. Stan slowly and quietly stepped back. He was almost at the truck when he heard the man yell. "Hey! Sir, those are my wax statues!"

Stan rushed to the car door. Wax Abraham Lincoln was in his spot. "I'm sorry Mr. President." He threw the statue outside and jumped into the van. "Floor it, Soos!"

The truck drove off, and Stan watched as the short man grew smaller in the mirror.

Stan and Soos sat on wooden chairs, facing the wax statues. They had everybody: Shakespeare, Larry King, Sherlock Holmes, the Queen, Genghis Khan, Robin Hood... and in the middle of it all stood Wax Stan. But Stan needed something that was more interesting than a bunch of wax figures. "Well, we could do a fiction vs non-fiction diorama thing. That could be cool," Soos suggested.

"Soos, if we do that, it'll be Sherlock Holmes against everyone else."

"Pretty sure Robin Hood isn't real."

Stan groaned and slammed his head on the table. He turned his face to look at his wax replica. "What? Not gonna say anything? Because you're dead." Stan slammed his head against the table again. Soos leaped out of his chair. "Mr. Pines, that's it! They're all dead!"

"Yes, Soos. They are. What's your point?"

"But they're all famous too!"

Stan was beginning to see a point. "Go on."

"So we could have a wax museum, but only for dead people!" Soos exclaimed. "And they're all famous dead people! Your wax statue is symbolic of the new life you are creating in the world of tourist traps! A new, shining star that captivated millions of gullible people, a popular face in Gravity Falls, who outshines everyone! Even Gideon Gleeful!"

Stan stood up. "That was the most beautiful plan I have heard, Soos. I'd pay you if I had money. Now let's make a tourist trap that fits whatever you just said!"

"Okay, how do I look?"

"Like a cool tour guide." Stan was wearing a black suit and a maroon fez with a strange crescent on it. He found it in a box Dipper and Mabel used for Halloween and Summerween costumes. He was also wearing a maroon bow tie to match the fez, some fancy looking brown shoes and a girdle. He studied himself in the mirror. He adjusted his glasses slightly. "I feel like something's missing."

Soos narrowed his eyes and looked carefully at Stan. "An eyepatch, Mr. Pines. You need an eyepatch."

Stan shrugged and looked inside the box of costumes. He managed to find one rested inside a pirate hat. He put it over his left eye and turned back to Soos. "Well?"

"Now you look like the cool tour guide of the Murder Hut!"

"The Murder Hut?"

Soos turned slightly red and he looked down at the floor. "I just... I just thought it would be a cool name or something."

Stan smiled and put his hand on Soos' shoulder. "It's the perfect name."

Soos looked up, his eyes watery. "Really, Mr. Pines?"

"Yes, really. But I'm taking credit for it."

Soos wrapped his arms around Stan. Stan patted the back of his sort-of employee on the head. "Um, Soos? You can let go of me now. I need to surprise the kids."

"Oh, right." Soos stepped back and wiped his eyes. "I'll see you later, Mr. Pines. Thank you!"

Stan followed Soos outside and watched as the pick-up truck disappeared. Then he made himself comfortable behind a bush and waited.

It got boring quickly.

Stan was about to dose off when he heard a car engine. Ford, Dipper and Mabel stepped out. Stan watched from the bushes as Ford, Dipper and Mabel walked towards the house. As they neared the door, Stan crouched and quietly got nearer. Then, when they were close enough, he threw a smoke bomb and ran up to them. They looked shocked to see him, probably because he was wearing clothes.

"Welcome, family, to the Murder Hut!"

I'm very sorry this took slightly longer to post. I needed to figure out exactly how Stan was going to steal the wax statues, since this was actually from his perspective. But there you go! Another chapter! As always, I love hearing your thoughts and comments about the story, the way certain moments made you feel, what you think I might be missing, little things that you laughed at... all that stuff! Actually, I also hid a small reference to Stan's use of grammar in this chapter. If you find it, just message me the line. Let's see how many of you can notice it.

About the whole "should I watch SVTFOE" thing, you guys gave me a bunch of great suggestions. Many of you recommended shows I had never heard of, like Amphibia. But from what most of you were saying, SVTFOE doesn't seem like a bad place to start. I do want to watch Amphibia and the Owl House and Steven Universe (for some reason seasons 4 and 5 are on Netflix, but the first three aren't) and all your other suggestions, but those aren't all on Disney Plus or Netflix. The first two seasons of SVTFOE are, so I'm starting there.

Also, I know that this story isn't super Dipcifica yet. But I think stories are much more interesting when we get to see what happens in the lives of the characters that the story doesn't revolve around. It's all connected though, so all this Murder Hut stuff will be important later.

Until next time!