A/N- Hey guys, I'm finally back. This has been the longest break I've ever taken between chapters, I'm really sorry. First, I want to thank everyone for their generous donations, I honestly didn't expect that much support. Secondly, I'm not abandoning the story, I just don't have as much time to write but I'm still extremely passionate about this story and I hope you guys still are as well. In a few months, I'll have a lot more free time, so just bear with me.
Fitz helped Olivia into the jet. He rested her against the seat and then sat beside her and laid her head in his lap, adjusting her body so there was as little pressure on her ribcage as possible.
"How's that?" he asked.
"Good," she shifted her body to find a good position, "good."
The door of the jet closed and a few moments later, the jet hovered into the air.
Fitz ran his hand against Olivia's hair as they waited to exit the base. Once they were out of the metal dome, light from the white ice desert filled the jet.
"Olivia?" he called.
"Fitz?" she said softly.
"Are you going to sleep?"
"Um...no," she responded softly. She'd expected him to ask her about the detlas, what he'd said about Akio making her choose.
They had a lot to talk about but if she needed rest, he would let her have it. He had a lot to think about and he didn't want to draw any conclusions until he heard what Olivia had to say.
"Get some rest, I'm sure you're tired, it's not gonna be a long flight."
"How long?" she asked.
"It'll be a couple hours, once we get pass Argentina, we're practically there, it's off the coast of southern Brazil."
She nodded and covered her mouth as she yawned. She felt excited to see Lily and yet she was still exhausted from the events of the past week.
Fitz caressed her gently as he watched her fall asleep within a few minutes.
He was tired as well, after days of barely sleeping for an hour or two, or not sleeping at all, all he wanted now was to sleep, but with Lily and Olivia beside him.
After 15 minutes of a silent flight. Fitz pulled out his cellphone, the one he'd given Olivia and dialed Lucky's number.
He picked up on the second ring.
"Olivia?"
"No."
"Fitz? You're alright?"
"Yep, I'm fine, listen, we're gonna be there in a couple hours, I'll have a jet drop you back to LA, Olivia and I are gonna stay on the island with Lily. Is there food there?"
"Yeah...oh...okay..I guess I'm getting kicked out, I'm glad you're okay though, I was a little worried man, Olivia didn't sound so good."
Fitz smiled as he looked down at her, "I'm fine, she's fine. What's Lily doing?"
"She's chewing on her toys."
"Okay, I'll see you in a few," Fitz said and then hung up.
Olivia seemed to have trouble breathing as she slept but he'd fractured his ribs plenty times so he knew it was normal.
When the pilot announced that they were minutes out from the island, after almost 2 hours of flying, Fitz nudged her gently to wake her.
"Livie?" he said softly.
She didn't budge.
"Olivia, baby, wake up."
Olivia jumped out of her sleep so fast, forgetting about the fractured ribs until she felt the eruption of pain in her core.
"Owww," she mumbled groggily, "where...where's Lily?" She then realized that they were still in the jet.
"Sorry," Fitz said with a small smile. "We're a few minutes out."
Fitz helped her sit up.
"Were two minutes out commander," the co-pilot announced.
Fitz sighed; they were already calling him commander.
"There's a helipad atop the villa," Fitz said. "You can land there or you can make a soft landing on the waterfront."
"Yes sir."
Fitz stood up and stretched slightly. Olivia attempted to stand but he stopped her.
"Not yet."
A few moments later, Olivia felt the jet descend.
"Sir, we're gonna land on the beach front."
Fitz nodded.
The jet lowered slowly until it landed it's legs in the shallow blue water.
The hatch opened and dropped in the water with a splash. Fitz helped Olivia up from her seat and down the small steps that led into the shore of the beach.
As they disembarked the jet, Lucky opened the glass slide door of the large villa of the beach. He walked across the wooden porch with Lily in his arms.
Lily began screaming excitedly as soon as she glimpsed Olivia and Fitz walked up the beach. Once Olivia stepped into the clear blue water that reached her ankle, she heard distant cooing and looked up.
Lucky was walking towards them with Lily stretching out of his arms.
She smiled and walked to meet them at the beach front, only about 20 feet away.
As soon as she was close enough, Lily jumped from Lucky into Olivia's arms. It hurt her torso but she was so happy that the pain was worth it.
She held Lily tightly, kissing her soft cheeks.
"Lily, it's mama," Olivia said, almost to the point of tears, "I've missed you so much."
Lily scrunched her nose and giggled.
"Yes, that's right," Olivia said with a chuckle, "I love you so much." Olivia wiggled their noses together.
Fitz, was so caught up with watching Olivia and Lily that he forgot about Lucky.
"Lucky, the jet is waiting to take you back to LA."
"Well, hello to you too motherfucker, you're welcome for keeping your kid safe and sound for the past few days."
Fitz smiled, "thanks."
Lucky walked into to give him a hug but Fitz pushed him off playfully.
"I'm...not a hugger."
Lucky chuckled, "damn, well at least I know you're still you, what happened?"
"I'll tell you all about it when we get back to LA."
Lucky turned to Olivia and tried to hug her as well but Fitz stopped him.
"She's not that great right now."
"Liv," Lucky said, "you okay?"
"Yes," Olivia said, still kissing Lily, "I've never been better….isn't that right my wittle english muffin….you are such a little cutie….yesh you are….oh yesh you are."
Fitz smiled as he watched them.
Lucky shrugged, realizing it would be impossible to get their attention. He walked back to villa and took a small suitcase he'd parked at the door and carried it back to the beach. Olivia, Lily and Fitz were still at the same spot, this time, Fitz was kissing Lily on the cheek and caressing her hair.
"I'll see you guys in LA, yeah?"
They didn't hear him.
"Fitz!" Lucky called.
Fitz turned around and smiled.
"Thanks Lucky, I don't know how I'll replay you."
"A Mclaren sounds nice," Lucky said with a smile. "Bye Liv, feel better, bye Lily, I'll see you guys in LA."
"Thank you so much Lucky," Olivia said, beaming.
Lucky nodded and smiled then he made his way to the jet waiting in the water. Fitz watched as he boarded the jet and the door closed behind him.
Once the jet took off, he turned to Olivia.
"Let's get inside," he said, attempting to take Lily form Olivia's arms, he thought it might be hard for her to carry Lily all the way to the house, though it wasn't that far.
"No, it's alright, I've got her…." Olivia smiled at Lily and gave her another sweet kiss on the cheek. It made Fitz smile.
"You're such a beautiful mom."
Olivia blushed and turned her face away and smiled.
Fitz chuckled. "Come on, let's go inside."
"Okay."
Fitz wrapped his arm around her hip and helped her down the sandy beachfront, into the villa. Once they were inside, he helped her to sit on the couch with Lily still perched in her arms. She held her carefully, higher than she usually did so she wasn't resting too much against her ribcage.
"Babababaaa," Lily cooed to herself as she chewed on her fingers.
"Are you hungry?" Fitz asked.
"I'm starving."
Olivia propped her legs up and hoisted Lily up.
"Mama missed you so much," she said to Lily.
"How's the pain?" Fitz asked. "I have alot of stuff here."
"It hurts when I breath mostly."
"Yeah, it's gonna be like that for a couple weeks...wait...I've got some numbing cream that should help, gimme a sec."
Olivia nodded and puckered her lips. Fitz smiled and leaned down and kissed her softly and then ran his hand across Lily's hair.
"I'll be back."
As soon a Fitz stepped away, Lily began rummaging at the collar or her hospital gown, trying to find her breast to feed.
"One sec sweetheart," Olivia said softly.
She tried to reach back and untie her dress but with a quite a few fractured ribs, it was impossible so she tried to sit Lily on the couch beside her, so she could pull her up dress to breast feed her but Lily wouldn't let her go. She began to fuss so Olivia held her in her lap.
"Okay, okay, we'll just wait until dad comes back and he can help me get this dress off, won't we." Olivia chuckled and kissed her. "You are such a sweet girl." Olivia kissed her cheek again.
She giggled loudly as drool fell out of her teething mouth.
Fitz walked into the open living room with a small bag of pills, creams, gels and other medicines. He placed it on the coffee table in front of the sofa.
"She wants milk-"
"I'll get her a bottle-"
"-No, I'm going to breastfeed...can you help me to take this dress off."
"You can't breastfeed."
"I'm going to try, my breast has been leaking alot."
"I know but...it's gonna hurt Olivia, badly."
She shrugged, "it won't be that bad."
"Alright." Fitz said, leaving her to see for herself.
He took a few steps over to the sofa and reached behind Olivia and untied the string holding her dress together. She shifted her body, slowly, so Fitz could help her take her dress off. She had no underwear underneath.
"Why don't you have any underwear," Fitz asked.
"I didn't have any?"
"What do you mean: 'you didn't have any?'."
"Can I explain later?"
"Umm...okay."
Olivia sat Lily on her lap again and watched as she leaned in and began feeding on her breast. The first pull that Lily pulled with her mouth to get milk, burnt like fire in her chest.
"Owwwww." Olivia howled.
Lily jumped back and looked up at Olivia.
"Told you," Fitz said. "Let me get you some underwear." He could see her discolored skin over her fractured ribs and it was bothering him.
When he'd decided to leave to the island, he'd thrown some of her things from her closet into a suitcase, although looking back he wasn't really sure what he packed, underwear had to be somewhere in there.
He walked quickly to their bedroom and opened her suitcase and rummaged through until he found some cotton underwear and brought it back to her in the living room. She was still trying to breastfeed Lily.
"Baby, you don't have to breastfeed her-"
"-I've been gone for a week, she misses me."
He sighed, "okay well I got you some underwear and I'm gonna rub some numbing cream on you, that should soothe it a little."
"Okay."
Fitz fluffed the cushions and helped Olivia to lean back against them and Lily stayed attached to her breast. Fitz slipped on her underwear and then he took some gloves from the medicine bag and slipped them on his hands.
"It's gonna hurt." He said.
Olivia nodded.
Fitz took that as he cue to continue and so he took some of the cream and began to rub it down her torso as gently as he could.
As gentle as he was, it was still painful but she hit her lip and tried to fight the pain until it began to subside from the numbing cream.
Breastfeeding wasn't as painful with most of her chest numb and though the pain was still there, it wasn't as bad.
"Is that better?" he asked.
"Yes, a lot."
Fitz chuckled, "okay, you hungry?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, I'll be back."
Fitz stood up and walked to the kitchen. Olivia looked down at Lily, who twisted her hair as she breastfed, leaning slightly against the cushion to take some of the pressure off of Olivia's torso.
After a while, she switched Lily to her other breast and a few moments later, Fitz arrived with a fruit plate. He pulled the coffee table forward with one hand and sat on top, in front of Olivia and took a piece of mango and fed it to her.
Olivia chuckled as she ate the mango.
"Lily's being fed and I'm being fed, what about you?"
"You'll feed me….eventually."
Olivia smiled at his sexual innuendo, "tonight?"
"No, in like three weeks, when you've healed a lot more."
"Why?"
"Have you ever had an orgasm with freshly cracked ribs, you only make that mistake once."
She smiled, "let me guess, you tried to do that..by the way my ribs aren't freshly cracked, it's been a week."
Fitz rolled his eyes at her last remark. "Yes, I tried to get my dick sucked two days after fracturing my rib….it didn't work out."
"Don't make me laugh," she said, stifling a chuckle, "it hurts to laugh and I've crack ribs before, I know how to act."
"Do you? 'Cause you're acting like you want to crack them again."
Olivia shrugged as she reached down slightly and caressed Lily's hair.
"You said pain is only temporary."
"Now you choose to listen to me?"
Fitz fed her another piece of mango.
Olivia smiled as she as she chewed.
"Yes."
Lily leaned up from her breasts and smiled.
"Have you had your fill?" Olivia asked with a smile.
Lily leaned over and look curiously into the plate of fruits that Fitz had in his hand, now that she was distracted from feeding.
Fitz chuckled and took a piece of mango and lightly rubbed it against her lips so she could taste it.
Lily grabbed Fitz hand so he couldn't move it as she sucked in the piece of mango.
"Fitz, she can't eat that," Olivia squawked.
"Calm down, some 9 month olds are eating rice and steak, she can lick a slice of mango," Fitz said sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Olivia said, chastising herself.
Fitz chuckled and leaned over to Lily. "you like mango, don't you?"
He fed Olivia another piece of mango and then leaned over and kissed her and was surprised when he felt Lily's tiny hands pushing him away.
"Wait. What?" He said with a smile as he turned to Lily.
Olivia chuckled. "She doesn't want anyone kissing her mummy."
Fitz leaned over and kissed Olivia again. Lily pushed his face again.
"Olivia, how old is she, it's ridiculous that she even is smart enough to be upset about this."
"They're growing up fast, what can I say."
Fitz turned back to Lily.
"This is my fiancée, okay, I can kiss her whenever I want," he teased.
Lily smiled, with drool leaking from her gums.
"Yes and pretty soon those breasts are gonna be all mine too. You're 9 months, why are you still breastfeeding, since your so grown, huh?"
Olivia chuckled and watched as Fitz brought his face close to her breasts, as if he was breastfeeding and as soon as Lily realized this, she pushed him off and put her mouth in Olivia's breast and began nursing again.
"Oh my god." Olivia said in amusement.
"She's practically a teenager." Fitz remarked.
"She's adorable…" she turned to Lily, "you're adorable, daddy's just upset you're getting more attention than him."
"Hey…" Fitz joked.
He brought a half of strawberry to her lips and fed her.
"How do you feel?" He asked as he watched her chew.
"Couldn't be better."
"Really? He said in a more serious tone. "Is that really how you feel?"
"Yes. I have you in front of me and I have Lily, what more could I want or hope for, I'm alive and I'm healing, I feel good."
Fitz shrugged but didn't respond.
"What?" Olivia asked.
"Nothing, I just….want you to actually be okay….not just say it because you're trying to spare my feelings or something."
"I'm not," she said with a chuckle, "you just don't understand, I'm alright, I really am, all things considered."
"What things?"
"Few days ago I thought Lily was dead, yesterday I thought you were dead, you're both staring at me right now."
Fitz chuckled. "I guess I can see where you're coming from."
He fed her more fruit.
"At least you'll get a chance to rest, heal."
"You haven't changed your mind on sex at all?" She asked as she chewed.
"Nope."
She smiled and opened her mouth for another piece of fruit.
When they'd finished the plate, Fitz stood.
"You need any painkillers?"
"No, I'm alright for now, I can't really feel my torso anymore."
"Yeah, it's really concentrated numbing cream, we use it at the base." He sighed. "I'm gonna start a bath for you, okay?"
"Thank you."
"I'll be back."
Fitz walked to the closest bathroom and wash out the large marble tub before filling it with warm water. He poured bubble soap in the tub and watched the suds rise and then he turned the faucet off.
When he walked back to the living room, Olivia was still sitting in the same spot but playing with Lily, clapping and waving as the giggled together.
"Come in ladies, your bath is ready."
Fitz lifted Lily from Olivia's lap and got some resistance as Lily stretched back to Olivia.
"Lily, mom isn't a 100% right now so she can't hold you as much okay." Fitz tried to explain knowing it would make no difference to a 9 month old baby, especially since Lily was ignoring him.
He leaned down and helped Olivia up from the couch. They walked slowly to the bathroom together, to the tub, where Fitz pulled down her underwear and helped her into the tub.
"This smells great, what is it?" Olivia said as she sat in the warm water.
"I don't know the bottle is over there, I'll check."
He walked to the bathroom vanity and stood Lily on top, he pulled off her onesie and diaper and before he brought her back over, he read the label on the bottle of soap he'd used.
"It's vanilla and patchouli." He said.
He carried lily back over to the tub and sat her in the sea of bubbles.
"Babaaaaa...bababa," she began singing as she splashed the water.
"Why do you have vanilla patchouli bubble bath soap Fitz?"
"I asked Flavia to stock the house up on everything when I got here a few days ago."
"Who's Flavia?"
"She the maid."
"Oh okay."
"She's like 55 Liv, I haven't slept a with her."
"That wouldn't stop you."
"That's true, older women are great in bed but I still didn't have had sex with her."
"Will you have sex with me?"
"Keep trying," Fitz teased.
"I missed you, I thought you were dead, doesn't that get me any sympathy points or better yet sympathy penis?"
"Not yet."
"Feel me up a little tonight then, at least."
Fitz shook his head and laughed. "I'll think about it." He paused and changed the subject. "You want anything else to eat, there plenty of food in the kitchen."
"I'm not really hungry right now but later we could make something."
Fitz sat beside the tub.
"So…are you ready to walk me through what happen, from the attack at the cafe?" He asked, leaning against the tub to get comfortable.
"We have so much to talk about but why don't we wait until Lily's asleep."
Fitz sighed.
"Okay, if that's what you want."
"What I want is-"
"Sex, I know but you're not getting it."
"Not sex Fitz, love." She smiled. "All night until the sun comes up."
""Sure, as long as it's in three weeks."
Olivia threw her head back. "Ugghhh, you're such a drag."
Lily splashed the water and giggled.
"You are such a gorgeous girl," Olivia mused, "mommy missed you so much."
Fitz sat back and watched them play. Olivia scooped water with her hand and poured it down Lily's back and then she scooped some bubbles from the bath and placed it on top of her head.
"How's your arm?" Olivia asked, after playing with Lily for a while.
"It's fine."
"Does it hurt?"
"Oliviaaaa," he said with a chuckle, "it's fine."
After their bath, Fitz wrapped Lily into her fluffy little bathrobe with bunny ears and a tail and then he helped Olivia out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel as well. He walked them over to the bedroom, to the california king bed in the middle of the room.
"I'm gonna go shower, okay, I stink."
Olivia nodded with a smile, "okay, we'll be here."
While Fitz showered, she dressed Lily in a t shirt and her diaper and then she slipped on her underwear and Fitz's navy t shirt, which hurt to do so.
By the time Fitz came from the bathroom, it was sunset. She could see outside, the skyline was a golden orange. It was beautiful.
After Fitz got dressed, they went to the kitchen. Fitz walked to the fridge, while Olivia sat at the kitchen island with Lily.
"What do you want?"
"Anything."
Fitz opened the fridge and took out some pre-cook food that Flavia had cooked and stored for him; grilled lobster and brussel sprouts was for dinner. He heated the food in the oven while he made formula for Lily. Olivia sat back and watch.
"You've got this housewife thing downpat, I think, no?"
"All I need is tennis shoes and an apron," he joked.
"You're typecasting."
He closed Lily's bottle and shook up all the ingredients together and then he handed it to Olivia to feed Lily. The oven dinged ready shortly after.
Fitz slid on the oven mitt and took the food from oven and placed it on the counter.
"Dig in." He said to Olivia.
"Can you at least put it on a plate, gosh."
Fitz chuckled and shrugged, as he looked around the kitchen for utensils and plates, which he found and then plated some of the food and placed it in front of Olivia.
"Do you have a lemon for the lobster?"
He looked into the refrigerator and took a whole lemon and cut it in slices it then gave her a few slices.
Olivia finished feeding Lily her bottles before she ate. When Lily finished drinking, she snuggled into Olivia's arm.
Olivia winced slightly.
"Olivia, you shouldn't be holding her."
He walked over to her side of the table.
"She's fine," Olivia defended. "She just misses me."
"I'm talking about you."
"Please, I'm a mom, I can't stop being a mom just because of a few fractured ribs."
Ftz rolled his eyes.
"Let me put her to bed." He offered.
"No, just get her pacifier."
"You are impossible," he said as he walked back to the bedroom to find Lily's pacifier.
When he found it, he brought it back to the kitchen where they were waiting. After he placed Lily's pacifier in her mouth he attempted to take her from Olivia but she fussed and clung to her side.
Fitz backed up, realizing Lily wasn't going to come. He watched Olivia smirk spitefully.
"Whatever." He sat across from her, "at least let me feed you."
He took the fork and fed her a brussel sprout.
"Yum," she said with a smile.
Halfway through dinner, Lily fell asleep. By the time they were done with dinner, the sun had already set and it was dark out with only the moon in the sky. Fitz cleared all the plates from the counter and placed them in the sink.
"Fitz, can I have a painkiller?"
"You wouldn't need a painkiller, if she wasn't on your side."
He walked around and tried to take Lily again but Olivia wouldn't let her go.
"Olivia, seriously? Let me put her down, you don't need to hold her while she sleeps."
"But she's my wittle muffin…"
Fitz shrugged and finally gave up.
"Ibuprofen coming up."
Olivia stood up from the chair slowly with Lily and walked outside to the beach. She sat on of the large beach chair, looking out to the ocean.
After Fitz got her pills and a bottle of water and after seeing she wasn't in the kitchen, he headed outside and found her on the beach.
"Here," he said, handing her two small pills.
She took the pills in her mouth and swallowed it with a gulp of water. Fitz sat beside her on the chair.
"Lay down, relax, I've never seen you this wound up."
"I'm not wound up, I'm just...it's obviously been a crazy week, I'm just coming down from that."
"Let's talk about it," she said as she tried to lift Lily and placed her in between them. Fitz noticed and reached over and lifted Lily from Olivia's arms and laid her in between them on the chair.
Olivia slowly turned her body on her other side to face him and them smiled.
"Kiss me," she whispered.
Fitz smiled and leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips.
She chuckled and caressed his cheek, "again."
Fitz kissed her again, this time, sucking on her bottom lip slightly before he tried to let go but Olivia pulled him in and kissed him deeper, sliding her tongue underneath his and sucking it.
"I'm not having sex with you," he whispered as he broke the kiss.
She sighed and rolled her eyes, "fine."
He chuckled. "Okay, so tell me about what happened, after you called me in the bathroom."
"Well….after I called you, I walked to the door and as I opened it, it hit me in forehead….which is how i came by this." She said as she ran her fingers across the scar on her forehead. "And then this man came in on me, he looked European, he had a ponytail, and he attacked me, I tried fighting back but he was choking me so hard that I passed out or at least I think I did. After that everything was in and out, I remember feeling him kicking me in my stomach and then everything went black and then I remember hearing gunshot and then Lily was crying, it was all...hazy and honestly, it was like that for a couple days until I finally woke up for good."
"That's when you called me?"
"Yeah, that's when he let me call you."
"He had me hooked up to a bunch of chemical that made me unable to move and he'd told me Lily was dead and he was ranting about you and the ways he wanted to kill me but couldn't because you had his family."
"Yeah, that was close."
"You're telling me," she agreed with a chuckle. "Anyways, he was really afraid of you, you really did a number on his face."
"Sure did."
"Where is his family?"
"At my cabin, when I get back I'll deal with them."
"Deal with them?"
"Not kill them Olivia," he said, "but I can't keep them there forever."
He paused.
"What about after?"
"After you spoke to him to took me off all the chemicals and the man came in and made me take a bath-"
"-he gave you a bath?"
"No, he just threw me in the bath and left me there. When I woke up I was naked but I don't think they did anything to me, I'm sure Igor would have wanted me to be awake if he assaulted me."
"Oh god please don't let me think about it, I'm gonna get mad all over again and it's not like I can do anything this time, Igor's already dead."
"I know. Enough about me, what about you, when did you find out?"
"Igor texted a picture of you to my phone, probably moments after it happened."
She gasped and covered mouth.
"I'm so sorry."
"Why? It's a good thing he did, he actually told me about it before the guards did which was good."
"Maybe if your guards weren't so afraid of you they'd have told you right away."
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."
"What?"
"Anyways, I ran down as soon as I could, go to the hospital and the first thing I see is Lily, crying like I've never seen her cry before, she was shaking because she was so scared, which was different from anything I've ever experienced, to watch my 9 month old daughter shaking with fear like that and there was nothing I could really do to take that fear away from her, except comfort her."
Olivia smiled down at Lily and kissed her forehead and then wiped her cheek when she felt a tear drop roll down.
"Come on, don't cry." Fitz said softly.
"I'm just so mad at myself for not being more careful, because of my carelessness Lily couldn't been hurt and for what, just because I wanted space from my guards, I was stupid."
"No, no one being watch by bodyguards actually likes the fact that they are being watched by bodyguards, even if you asked them to step back they shouldn't have, while you were being attacked, they were outside, that's unacceptable."
Olivia sighed, "I know."
"Anyways, I would've found you sooner if I didn't spend hours waiting for someone that wasn't you."
"I'm still really confused about that. Are you sure because I still don't see how that's possible."
"Olivia, do you think some imposter who slightly resembles you could have fooled me?"
"No."
"That woman is your identical twin, nothing less would have been able to fool me because I know your face like I know my own name."
"So this is real. I really do have a twin sister." She said mostly to herself.
"Yes. I was shocked too but I'm sure. This doesn't mean anything though. You can either try to get to know her or you can ignore her. It's your decision, I think it's something you should really give some thought to."
"I will." She said after a long pause.
"How do you feel about me going back" Fitz said. "Be honest."
She chuckled sadly. "I love how you say 'be honest' as if you're immediate presumption is that I'm going to lie.
"I know you Olivia, I know it's not on purpose but I know that you will tell me what you think is best even if it's not what you want. So tell me what you want."
Olivia sat for a while, thinking, and then she responded.
"I don't want you to go but come on, do we have a choice?"
"What do you mean do we have a choice? Why don't we have a choice?"
He knew something was going on, between her and the deltas but he didn't want to guess, he wanted her to tell him.
"Because it's would be best if you were there."
"You suggested it. Why would it be best for me to be away from you and Lily?"
"Because...Fitz...you'd have people you could count on. It won't get easier for us."
"Did Akio ask you to say this. He seemed a little too smug."
"I think he's happy because he thinks your coming back."
Fitz didn't respond.
"What are you thinking?" She asked after a while.
"I don't wanna go."
"I don't want you to go either."
"So then why did you suggest it?"
"Because I thought it would be best."
"Why did you think that?"
"I don't know….it doesn't matter anymore."
"It matters, you've always said that you didn't want me to go back, why did that change? I know Akio had something to do with that. What did he say?"
"He didn't say anything."
"Olivia."
"He didn't say anything but...um…"
"What is it Olivia, please tell me."
"Promise me you won't get angry, your won't blow up, you'll keep an even temper and you won't try to retaliate."
Fitz stood up and took a deep breath.
"Go ahead."
He seemed to know what she was going to say but she wasn't sure and he seemed to already be angry. She was hesitant to speak but went ahead.
"I think they planned this whole thing. I think they helped Igor from the beginning hoping that you'd maybe get worried and go back. I think that if you don't go, they'll do it again and I don't think I'll survive next time."
Fitz stared at her for what seemed like forever with an unreadable expression. It made her squirm.
"When were you gonna tell me this?"
He turned to the ocean and waited for Olivia's answer but after a few silent moments he realized there would be none.
"Why do I have to work so hard to pull the truth out of you Olivia? Why is lying always your first option?"
She stood up as well, though slowly and carefully, as not to cause unnecessary pain in her rib.
"I'm sorry, I just...we have enough enemies. If you being at the base is what we need to do to keep them quiet then I didn't think we had a choice." She shook her head sadly, "I'm always trying to protect you and Lily and somehow, I always end up screwing it up."
Fitz turned to the ocean. Olivia walked slowly to his and stood by his side.
"Are you angry with me?" She asked.
He sighed and wrapped his arm around shoulder, then he leaned in and kissed her forehead.
"No, I'm not angry. I'm just frustrated."
"Because I didn't tell you...I was going to...I was just trying to find the right time."
"I believe you."
Olivia nodded, "Okay."
She wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head into his chest, still looking out to the ocean.
"You said you didn't want to go? Why?"
"Apart from the obvious reasons?" He asked.
She nodded and looked up at him.
"I just feel like being there, brings out the worst in me. I'm the worst version of myself when I'm in that environment: more angry, more cruel and more isolated. I'm not looking forward to being that person again."
"You won't be."
"How do you know that? Do you remember the kind of guy I was when we first met?"
"I do remember….but you've changed a lot and it won't be forever, you know, just long enough for you to-"
"Kill Akio?"
"-Fitz you can't let them know that you know what they did."
"I know that."
She turned her face and pressed it against his chest.
"I'm sorry, I know you don't want to go. I don't want you to go either but-"
"But It's done. So let's stop talking about it."
"I'm sorry." She said sheepishly.
"Don't be. We have a couple weeks here by ourselves, let's at least try to enjoy it and then when we get back to L.A we can start to figure out the logistic of me living on the other side of the world."
She nodded, "okay."
"Let's get inside, I'm tired, I wanna go to bed."
His whole mood had soured and she was annoyed at that fact.
"I'll get Lily." She offered.
"No, I'll do it." He said as he walked to the chair and picked her up, careful not to wake her.
She followed him inside to the bedroom and watched as he laid Lily in the middle of the California king bed.
She liked to sleep on her back just like Fitz.
Olivia sat on the bed, against the pillows and watched as Fitz pulled off his t-shirt and threw it on the floor. He laid on the bed beside Lily without a word. He seemed to be thinking about a lot but she knew she couldn't get him to talk about it until he was ready.
"How's your arm?" She asked.
"It's fine, it doesn't hurt that much."
"Fitz, are you angry with me? Please tell me if you are?"
"I'm not angry with you." He said with a sigh. "You didn't do anything."
"Did you know? Before I told you?"
"I thought about it but I shut it down because I have the tendency to always think the worst of the people I'm suppose to trust. I was counting on you to tell me if I was right to draw that conclusion and you did. You can read people better than I can. I'm not a spy, I'm a soldier."
"Are you forgetting how Suzie almost convinced me to kick you out of the house?"
His face finally softened into a chuckle.
"Yeah, that was one of your greatest hits."
Olivia smiled.
"I'm not angry with you." He said again. "You can talk to me. I'm not gonna bite your head off. I know I can be violent….and I know what I did to you when we brought you to your father's office...but…" his eyes filled with tears. "I'll never do that to you again. I'll never hurt you. Don't be afraid of me. It's not the first time you've been afraid to tell me something."
Olivia's eyes filled with tears as well. She leaned up and crawled over to his side of the bed and kissed him softly on the lips. She wiped his eyes with her thumbs and kissed his cheek.
"It's not that I'm afraid of you….not really…"
"Not really?"
"No, I don't mean like that, I'm more afraid that you'll leave me or you won't trust me anymore...I just don't want to go back to the place we were before and I feel like I keep messing up."
"-you're not messing up, you're fine."
She smiled shyly and wiped her eyes.
"So since you aren't mad at me, does that mean you'll make love to me."
"No."
"Why?"
"Doesn't it hurt to breath?" he asked.
"Yes but-"
"But nothing Olivia."
"That's not fair, when you got shot in your stomach-"
"A minor flesh wound in the side," he interjected.
"-it doesn't matter, I had sex with you. It's sexist that you won't do the same for me. It's my body, I can do whatever i want."
"That's how you're coming at me? That's funny? I'm sexist now?" he said with a smile.
"It's not fair."
"Life isn't fair." he said glibly.
She pouted.
"I missed you." he said with a smile.
Olivia stood slowly. "Oh no you don't. You don't to talk to me in that deep…" Olivia gulped hard, "beautiful voice that make me just leak all over myself."
"Okay."
"Just touch it."
"I'm not touching your vagina."
"Please."
He scooted over on the bed to give her space to lay beside him. "Come lay down."
"No."
Fitz smiled, "suit yourself."
"Fine."
Fitz leaned up and helped her to lay on the bed on her back, slightly hoisted up by pillows.
"How's that?" He asked.
"Good."
He nodded and crawled back into bed beside her.
"Thanks for nothing." She said bitterly.
Fitz chuckled but didn't respond.
"Good night Livie."