Less than a month into uni, and it had become our routine. Meeting up at the cafeteria to buy lunch, eating together under the tree where I had found her on the day we first met, going back against our will to attend the rest of the lectures, then hanging out again after classes were over. Sometimes we'd go to eat together, or have some drinks. Nothing extravagant though. Since neither of us had an income.
One day, she asked me if I wanted to go watch a film with her. Of course, I agreed. I no longer remember what film it was but thinking about it again, I might never have known in the first place. Simply because I didn't give one flying fuck about the film. And I barely watched it. I was looking at the screen but that was pretty much the extent of it. Nothing got into my brain. But apparently it was terrible. Because when we left, Sakura was grumbling about how it was a complete waste of money and time. I asked if she wanted to go have an ice-cream, saying it was my treat.
When we were finally returning home, she was back to her normal cheerful self again.
And frankly, to me at that time, that accomplishment was bigger than everything Alexander the Great had achieved in his lifetime.
I guess that's how it feels like when you're in love. You feel like you're special, your love is special. You'll overcome challenges with the power of your love and set an example. Yours will be the next legendary love-story folks will make songs about.
Thinking about it now, most legendary love-stories don't end up well. Maybe in certain aspects, we indeed could give Romeo and Juliet a run for their money.
Anyway, that night we were a little late. So I waited with her at the bus-stop. With my newly awakened protective instincts. We saw the bus coming, still at a distance. And she spoke, "You're like my hero, you know Sasuke."
My heart felt like it was going to burst.
"You're always saving me. Like today you saved me from the depression I went in after watching that shitty film. And that day too, I would've gotten into serious trouble if someone reported me."
The bus was here. It stopped in front of us and the door opened.
Suddenly, Sakura jumped and it all happened so fast I didn't really understand it all while it happened. It was only after the door closed between us and the bus started to move again that I realised she had kissed me. A very innocent, light peck on the lips. It lasted less than a second. Yet, it was a kiss. My first kiss.
Sakura had kissed me!
The next day, I couldn't find her at the cafeteria. I bought my lunch and went to our usual eating spot. And like I had thought, she was there.
Her face turned red as she saw me coming. And she refused to look at me again. It almost made me laugh. At moments like this, she was too adorable.
"Sakura?" I called her name to tease her.
"Ilikeyou," she lifted her face and spoke in one breath before casting her gaze down once again.
It was obvious. I mean, from the very beginning, she never really tried to hide it. And yet, when she said it out loud, putting it into words, that made me feel like I was the most special human being to have ever existed. In this world full of people, where she had the liberty to choose anyone, it was me she had chosen.
.
.
.
"I'm dropping out."
I almost tripped.
"What do you mean dropping out?"
"You don't know what dropping out means? It means I'm leaving uni without finishing my degree."
"I know what it means."
She couldn't possibly be serious! I mean, dropping out as in dropping out?
To be honest, there were moments when I felt like dropping out too. When things got too hectic. But everyone has moments like that. When our frustration becomes too much and... I don't know. My point was, thinking about it was something, and actually doing it was on a whole different level.
"You see, I don't really like what I study. But I do it anyway. Like most people. There are very few who actually go to university because they're eager to learn. Anyway, last week, I was asked to prepare a talk for today. And I did, I read about the topic properly and prepared my talk. I was confident to walk up to the podium and get started as soon as my professor asked me to. But you know what happened?"
"What?"
"He came in and said the talk would be postponed. We'll do it next week and today, there'll be a surprise test. And he handed out the question papers from which I realised I only knew the answer to one question."
She stopped to take a breath and looked up at the sky.
"And he said anyone who gets less than thirty percent will be reported to the head of the department. The exam started. And I saw my classmates hiding notes under their desks and cheating. That was when I realised how fucked up it was. All of it."
She turned her face to me.
"We're not middle school kids anymore. Cheating because you're afraid you'll get reported to the HOD? We're not at that age where it should take us threats like that to make us study."
"That's… why you're saying you want to drop out?"
"Yes. I've been asking myself for a while. I try, you know. I try. Like I did for today's talk. I studied for this, read books, consulted my friends. I did try. But I don't have enough interest and therefore my knowledge is always very limited. Because I only look for what I've been told to look for, never more. And I asked some of my classmates. Because they're the same. So I asked them what makes them go on when they clearly don't enjoy this. And they told me it's because they've already made the choice. 'I got into this, now I don't have another way out no matter how much I hate it.' But I don't agree."
She shook her head.
"I don't agree. I'm eighteen, for fuck's sake. Just because I made a wrong choice doesn't mean I have to carry it with me all my life. I've been thinking about it for a while and today's test made me realise I'm only wasting my time here. So, I submitted the blank paper and walked out of the classroom. And then I waited for you." She gave me a sweet smile.
"Have you thought about how your parents are going to react?"
I was trying to bring her back to her senses. Because who does that? It wasn't as simple as she thought it was. It wasn't as easy to end something and start anew. If it was, her friends would be leaving the class with her, instead of hiding their notes in their desks and cheating.
Because there are certain rules, certain protocols in this world.
"Well, they won't like it."
And? I frowned at her.
"I'll try my best to explain. I hope they'll understand."
Not 'I'll try to convince them to let me do this'. But 'I hope they'll understand'.
Those were the words of someone who had already made up her mind.
If it was anyone else, literally anyone but Sakura, I might have laughed it off. Knowing it was a spur of the moment thing. That they were just frustrated for the time being and will get back to their senses soon and will be back in class the next day. But it wasn't anyone else. It was Sakura and that was why I had a feeling she might actually go along with her plan.
And she did.
She wasn't at uni the next day and later that night, I got a call.
"I'll start looking for a job and then move out of my parents' house."
"What?! Did they threaten to kick you out?"
Couldn't really blame them though. I'm sure my parents would've done the same.
"NO. They weren't happy of course but they, well, they understood. But I've already wasted four months. Although I won't exactly call it wasting time. Had I never gotten into uni, I might have regretted it in the future. Wondering about what could've been. But now that I've been through it, no matter how hard things get, I'll know this was never an option for me. Anyway, what I'm saying is since I'm not studying anymore, I might as well start looking for work. Can't be a burden on my parents my whole life."
I didn't know what to say.
She really did it. She simply picked up her bag and walked out of the class one day and decided she won't go back. Even though all the normal protocols, set by all the sane people in the world demanded that she did. She just didn't care. She made a decision like that all by herself. She didn't discuss with anyone.
If I'm to be really honest, at that moment, of course I thought she was crazy but there was a part of me that wished I had that courage.
Note: I'll be writing this fic for a while because I'm in the mood. Thank you for reading and for the kind reviews. I feel very flattered when anyone reads my fics because my summaries don't really give much hint about the contents of the story. Thank you for giving my story a chance. Kisses.
Love,
June ❤️
[04.03.2020]