Every chapter from now on will be roughly 5k words long, compared to 3k or 4k leading up to this point. Also, if you're wondering why I released seven chapters today, it's because I'm ahead of schedule. Enjoy!
Mako glanced out of his window and looked at the beacon of light that was the spirit portal, protruding through the dull, grey city skyline. He wobbled and his vision swam as he fell down on his ass. He crawled over to the bottle of whiskey, and began to pour himself another shot. But to his dismay, only a few drops poured out of the bottle. He was leaning on one elbow, lying down on the floor, with his glass on the wooden floorboards. He had gotten rid of the carpet a while ago, as it'd smelt rank, and he wasn't bothered to clean it. Mako shook the bottle rigorously, but nothing came out.
"Thas… thas weird," he mumbled. "I swear this was nearly full earlier on. Stupih cunh!"
He pelted the empty bottle against the wall and it shattered loudly. Mako looked up at the ceiling, a clueless, drunk grin on his face. He rolled over, with a lot of effort, causing the whiskey in his stomach to churn and threaten to come up, but Mako was well used to it by this stage. He just dragged his body to the fridge, and struggled with opening it for a few seconds before remembering that he had to pull the handle.
The commander did so lazily, and blinked when the blue light lit up what was mainly a dim apartment, only one lightbulb on to save energy. He gazed around the shelves one time, then forced himself to register it when he looked the second time. He wiped his long hair out of his eyes and ruffled his beard. Both were thick with dandruff.
"Whah tha fuck!" he shouted, looking at the sparse shelves. There was enough food to keep him going for the next four days, but the real problem was that he only had three beers left! "Where-"
Mako suddenly shook violently, and he moaned in pain as the alcohol tried to force its way up. He clutched at his stomach and fell down, rocking there silently as the cold air of the fridge washed over him, making his bare upper body shiver. He groggily got one knee up, then used the fridge to pull himself in a standing position. He trailed along the wall the entire way to the bathroom, instinctively closing the fridge while he was at it.
It's coming, Mako realised in his head. He wrenched the bathroom door open and wobbled to the toilet bowl. Mako retched, and retched, until after a minute, the whiskey poured out. He continued to groan as seven hundred millilitres of whiskey was emptied into the small pool of water over the course of forty-five minutes.
Mako stayed stooped over, letting every last drop out until he was sure that there was none left. Then he curled up in a ball and stared at the pipes connecting to the toilet. He forced himself up, the euphoria of alcohol now having passed, and towards his bedroom door. But halfway there, he doubled over, and fell onto the table. It snapped under his weight. Mako lay there for the next few minutes, contemplating his next move while splinters stayed impaled in several different parts of his body.
That'll probably wreck tomorrow, he thought. I'll sleep on the couch again tonight. My back's pretty sore from the last time, but it's either that or on the floor.
Mako hauled himself up, a headache quickly beginning to form, and flopped into the couch on his front. He didn't even bother getting a cushion to serve as a pillow, and just closed his eyes, as he started to drool. But one name kept creeping into his thoughts, no matter how much he'd tried to expel it. He'd come up with every logical solution on the planet to fit his argument, but it wouldn't go away.
This is Kalla, your daughter, the memory repeated over and over again, as Mako eventually drifted into a deep sleep.
Mako eyes flew open as he heard his alarm clock beeping. He felt like he'd just closed his eyes, but when he looked at the clock on his wall, his heart flipped. It read 9:30, and today was a Wednesday.
The former probender jumped off the couch, ignoring his searing headache, but his legs barely supported Mako. He hobbled into his room as quickly as possible, but nearly threw up on his bed.
Mako swallowed the bile back down, and grabbed the towel he had on his nightstand. He rubbed it furiously under his armpits and over his chest, just trying to get rid of any sweat. He was stupidly late already, and Beifong had given out to him at length over the last three months for numerous things. He'd worked out that she generally only started calling people in after ten, so maybe he could get away with this. He was making a bad habit out of being late.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit," Mako murmured, pulling up his trousers and buttoning his coat. He hadn't washed his uniform, or any of his spares, in the two weeks since he'd come back from the South Pole. Even with the general stench of his apartment, they smelt bad, which was saying something. He combed his long hair roughly to the side, and pulled some strands out accidentally. He cursed, but didn't stop getting ready.
Mako found one black sock and a white sock and put them on without hesitation. He shoved his feet into his work shoes without doing the laces, and tugged viciously to get the back out from under his right heel. He grabbed twice what he needed for the bus off of the ground, and ran to the bathroom, retching once more, but nothing came out.
"The ride over is gonna be grim," he said to himself, wiping his mouth with the hand towel. He was referring to how bumpy it was, mainly because of the roads. He jogged out of the bathroom and his apartment, not able to go any faster without getting sick, but when he was halfway down the stairs, he realised he'd forgot to lock the door after shutting it. He didn't even have his keys, either.
"I've gotta risk it," he muttered, and continued heading downstairs. He'd built up a strong tolerance to spirits over the last while, so he wasn't nearly as badly hungover as most would be. He burst out the front doors thirty seconds later, and walked as fast as he could to the bus stop. When he got there, he was breathing heavily, more from wanting to throw up than exhaustion.
There should be a bus coming at 9:40, he thought, straightening himself up and looking at the timetable, which was behind a thin screen of plastic. Except there was no timetable, just a notice slapped over it;
'THE BUS WORKERS' UNION IS STRIKING FROM MONDAY TO SUNDAY IN ORDER TO CAMPAIGN FOR PROPER WAGES. PLEASE SUPPORT OUR HUMBLE CAUSE'
"You're having a laugh," Mako said aloud, then fuzzily remembered it being brought up in a meeting the other day in a broadcast to the entire HQ. It was just mentioned to let everyone know so that they could plan in advance to get up earlier.
"Well isn't that just fucking convenient!" he shouted, and banged his fist on the notice. He got a few odd looks from the people around him, but he didn't bother with them. He just started to run as fast as he could to the station, hoping that he could make it before ten.
Mako arrived seven minutes later, having only had to go into an alley to throw up once. He was still hungover. He shoved open the doors of the station and marched his way upstairs. When he got to his desk, he got a number of stares for his appearance, and one person, Emma, even put her hand over her nose because of the stench. He didn't blame her though, and sat down quietly. There was a pile of sheets on his desk, a few from the day before which he'd left, and new ones that had come through that morning.
Mako started at the most urgent report of a break-in and started to flick through the pages. Nothing odd struck him, but after a few minutes, Weng, a detective who Mako didn't know at all, walked up to Mako's desk. He stood there awkwardly, trying to catch the firebender's attention.
"I know I smell like shit," Mako said, and then glanced up. "Weng? What do you want?"
"Yeah, Mako," the short, fat man started, and put a hand on the desk. "Beifong was asking around for you earlier, yeah, and she was really angry when she realised you were late, so… just gonna leave that with you, but you should probably go in and see her." Weng got off the desk, clearly uncomfortable being the bearer of bad news. Mako just sat there for a moment, his head in his hands, and groaned.
"I fuckin' knew this would happen," he muttered, and rubbed his temples. "If I wait longer, I'll probably just get more nervous. Better to get it over with quickly."
"I think she's in a good mood at the minute," Weng said, although he was clearly just guessing. "If you go into her now, you might get off a little easier. Maybe." With that, Weng walked away, glad to have gotten it over with. He wasn't friends with Mako, but he sure did feel sorry for the firebender.
"I can't avoid her," Mako said, and stood up. Numerous pairs of eyes darted towards him as his chair scraped against the floor. He slowly trudged around, taking his time for the fifteen-metre walk. He felt like a guilty child who'd just been caught stealing. "Maybe she won't mind," he tried to reassure himself.
Mako knocked on the door, and heard Beifong's voice stop chattering momentarily to beckon him in. He nudged open the door and slid in, silently shutting it behind him. Beifong looked behind her from facing the window, having a heated argument with whoever was on the other end of the phone. She took one glance and glared at Mako. She angrily jabbed to the chair opposite her desk, and Mako sat in it wordlessly.
She is not in a good mood, he thought, and seven minutes later, she slammed the phone back into its holder.
"You've crossed the line yet again!" Beifong started, and he gulped. "And I can smell you! How much effort is it to take a shower before you go to work? It's certainly not like you don't have the money for it! I specifically remember you being so happy that you were able to buy an apartment with the money from escorting Wu!"
"Sorry, Chief," he apologised, looking at the ground. "I didn't think to shower."
"Bollocks!" Beifong called him out. "You were drinking again last night, weren't you? I told you when I caught you on the way back from the South Pole, that if you were drinking on a work-night again, you'd be demoted, and now I have no good reason to not follow through on my threat!"
"Demo… you're not serious?" Mako asked, looking at Beifong. His heartrate started to pick up.
"I am dead serious!" Beifong stated. "And quite frankly, you're not doing anything to help yourself in the slightest! This is the third time in two weeks that you have been late, to mention one of a number of things, and you've shown exactly zero remorse for what you've done. It's been going on for what's coming up to a year! Your reports have consistently been handed in past the deadline, you've let sixteen criminals get away from you, and only caught three! And even then, they were all just for petty theft!
"You were so bright when you first came in," Beifong continued, "going back to your big breakthrough, when you exposed Verek. You were level-headed, and professional. After you came back from escorting Wu, you still showed that desire, and I decided to promote you to commander. But there have been a lot of angry complaints about you, starting after Hazukk Arahonov left the city. Your ambition dropped off a cliff ever since we found you lying there unconscious! Well, know this, you're going to have to work twice as hard as before to get promoted again, because I will seriously consider any bonus you get in the future. As of this instant, you are a detective!"
Mako gaped speechlessly at Beifong, but her statement was emphasised by his commander badge zooming out from his pocket and pinging onto Beifong's hand. She opened a drawer, dropped the prestigious proof of authority, and shoved the drawer shut. She pulled open a filing cabinet at the far end of the room using metalbending, and a different badge flew over to her hand. She caught it, and slammed it on the desk in front of Mako ruthlessly. A regular detective's badge.
"Come on, Chief, just one more chance!" Mako urged, finding his voice now. "I know I haven't been great recently but-but-but, I've still got a passion for this job! Please, just one more chance!"
"I've already warned you three times before this," Beifong said coldly. "I was being patient before. Now leave my office, and get back to work. You probably noticed that all the new reports aren't as high ranking."
"This is crazy!" Mako argued, standing up in protest, but couldn't find a solid reason why Beifong should take back her decision. "When did you decide this? Who told you to?!"
"Leave my office right this instant!" Beifong ordered, rising to meet him. "You have no authority to question my choices around here! Get back to work before you run yourself into more trouble!"
Mako's head spun trying to process the information, his hangover still very strong. He looked down at the junior badge in front of him, and he rubbed his eyes. Then, in a moment of madness, he pushed it back. Beifong took a second to take in what Mako had just done. Then, she made eye-contact with him, and there was cold murder reaching out for him from her steely glare.
"Mako," she began in a calm tone with underlying disgust, "I can pretend I didn't see that, and I will give you one final chance to put your pride in the rear view, and go back to your desk. If you don't, I will fire you right here and now. I've always admired how much of a level head you have shown at times when a leader is needed. But clearly, alcohol has influenced your rational decision-making. I want an answer now."
Mako slowed his rapid breathing down, and tried to remove emotion from the equation. But his head was hurting too much to do anything other than urge him to protect his ego. He, as a firebender, knew better than most how to control his temper. But just at that moment, something snapped. All the stress of the last eight months, and the last two weeks in particular. All the guilt that he had been harbouring about secretly thinking that it was his fault for Korra being run out of the city. It wasn't logical, but he just never was able to believe it was anyone else's fault, even if Hazukk was the one to expose Korra.
"I'm not backing down from this!" he declared, all of his emotions turn to rage, centring on Lin Beifong.
"Is that a no?" she asked to be sure.
"Absolutely!" Mako stated, and Lin Beifong did her trademark sigh, resting her forehead on her right hand and her left hand supporting her right elbow.
"Get out of my sight! You're fired, Mako, and don't come crawling back!" she snapped emphatically, and crossed her arms. Mako, however, didn't get out of her sight.
"You're a stubborn old woman!" he shouted impulsively, and pointed a finger at her right up in her face. "You don't know what you're doing! I'm way too valuable to be laying off just like-"
The clap of Lin Beifong's hand off of Mako's cheek echoed around the office as she knocked his pointing hand down with her left hand, and slapped him in the face with her right. He fell down to the ground in an instant, the force of it stinging badly. He looked up at her, holding his cheek. She spat on him.
"The audacity of you!" she berated, as if she was his mother. "If you don't leave now, I'll have you thrown out by the guards! And don't even think about going anywhere near me with that finger again, or I'll get you in shit. They may not believe you when it comes to stories without evidence, but they sure as well will believe me! Good riddance, I should've done this ages ago, if this was your real attitude!"
Mako sat there, his anger now evaporating into shame. It was cheesy, but she had literally slapped sense into him, and that had just been her bare palm, no metal or anything. He slowly got up, and wordlessly left the office, his tail between his legs. When he opened the door, the room was silent, all eyes on him. He quietly walked to his desk, absorbing all the looks.
They must have heard me shouting back, he reckoned. He tried to look for someone to complain to, someone to talk to, but only then did he realise when looking around the room, that he had no friends there. He had alienated everyone over the last while. Even Weng, who was the nicest guy there, had barely ever socialised with Mako, because he'd rejected them all.
He walked behind his desk, and opened the second highest drawer on the left. He grabbed the money he left there for lunch, ninety-three yuans, and put them in his pocket. He walked away, leaving everything else behind. He didn't need any of it anymore.
"Bye," he said as he was walking out, too embarrassed to look back. He walked down the corridor to the stairs, feeling nostalgic, knowing it would be his last time coming down the route. He thumped down the stairs, getting strange looks, but ignored them all.
Mako moped all the way out to the doors, and kicked them open. He got a few scowls, but no-one said anything. He just continued to walk away. When he had left the station behind a corner, out of his view, the reality of what had just occurred smacked him in the face.
He was fired. Dirty, smelly, reeked of sweat, unemployed, and now truly alone. Mako leaned against a wall, contemplating what he'd just done. He had challenged Lin fucking Beifong on an order, and shoved his finger in her face. He was an alcoholic. He looked homeless despite having served as a personal bodyguard to the then-successor of the Earth Kingdom. He'd gotten the better of the strongest bloodbender ever heard of, yet now, he was washed up. He didn't have much money saved up in the bank due to the excessive amount he'd wasted on drinks. A clip of a conversation he had played millions of times over in his head, the second last one he'd ever had with Hazukk;
During those lonely days in the hospital, I was the only one who visited you, his voice bounded around Mako's head. His head skipped to another part of the conversation.
I've been busy with work, Mako's voice replied.
Bollocks! Hazukk's voice called him out. You're the spitting image of Lin Beifong, no friends, so you're forced to pull rank to gain respect from your peers!
"But at least Beifong has a job," Mako muttered, feeling hollow inside. "And as for peers, I don't even have any, anymore." He kept on walking, the pain becoming more and more apparent. The worries and stress of the last eight months started to leak out from the large gaps in the mental wall that was his heart, but he forced it all back in.
Mako walked through the streets, stopping at a corner shop. He spotted a Desert Oasis beer in there, and even though he was still hungover, he craved it. He walked in, and bought the can. Just one. Mako didn't know why he only got one, but he wasn't in the mood for resisting his cravings. He moodily thanked the shopkeeper, no real emotion behind it, and let his feet carry him wherever they wanted.
Mako walked for an hour, across Kyoshi Bridge, and eventually wound up just in front of the spirit portal. He sat down on a bench, just out of the reach of the vines, and stared at the pretty beacon. A homeless man sat down beside him, although there wasn't much difference to any onlookers.
"Pretty nice, huh?" he greeted, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. Mako opened his can, which had been shut up until this point, and took a sip.
"Very nice," Mako agreed.
"Rough day?" he asked, very friendly. "The wife shout at ya? Kick you out? I got a divorce, and she took everything. Now I'm just a bum. No money, nothing."
"Really?" Mako said, disinterested. "Sounds like a shit one." He could've mentioned his past on the streets, but Mako really didn't care less about this man.
"Yeah!" the guy said, not getting the message. "I like to spend a lot of time here, helps takes my troubles away."
"That's good," Mako said nonchalantly. He took longer sip from his drink, and exhaled heavily, as if all his worries would disappear with it. They didn't.
"What do you do for fun?" he asked, really hanging on to the conversation. He probably doesn't have many, Mako realised. A bit like me.
"I've started drinking badly," Mako relented. "I want to stop, but it's just, there's no reason for me not to."
"You're not alone, buddy," he reassured Mako, and patted him on the shoulder. "We've all had those problems."
"Are you a dealer?" Mako asked bluntly. "Because I'm not taking anything, and I'd like to keep it that way."
"Oh, no, no, no," the man said, putting his hands up. "You just looked worried, that's all. I've had my fair share of stress over the past few years, in fact, I used to be snorting coke at every chance I could get!"
"What about now?" Mako asked, tired, for the sake of being mannerly, ironically. If it had been yesterday, he would've prodded for the man's dealer, but now he just didn't give a shit. Even though he had shot himself in the foot when arguing with Beifong, he still felt a tiny bit of anger. It was 95% regret though.
"Well," the man started, and Mako rubbed his eyes with impatience. "I was doing it for about two and a half years, ya know, and I was a miserable wretch of a human being. I hated to even look at myself in the reflection of the river in the park!"
"Mm hmm," Mako hummed.
"One day, when I sobered up, I went up to a guy and asked him if he had any coke I could borrow. But when I shook him, because he didn't reply, he was stone cold dead! I hadn't seen my children in four years by this point, the wife had fucked off to Yu Dao with them for some businessman."
"That's… really sad," Mako appreciated, actually meaning it.
"I know," the man continued. "But a few months ago, I overheard a story from a couple of Air Nomads not too far from here, and they were talking about the 'Tree of Time' and stuff like that. I just decided to listen, and they said that it would restore your entire memory if you mediated inside. I'd never been a big believer of that spirity-talk for most of my life, but after that crazy giant spirit battle, I'll believe just about anything!"
Mako sat up at the mention of 'memory'. His mind flashed back to those words Korra had said to him back at the South Pole.
You probably don't remember, huh? her voice told him. He turned and faced the homeless man full on. The man raised an eyebrow, then accepted the attention with delight.
"I decided to give it a shot, since I hardly had anything better to do," he reminisced. "So, I walked into the spirit portal, just imagining this big, old tree, and when I appeared on the other side of the portal, I could see the two original spirit portals. Both of them!"
"I've been there too," Mako added. His full attention was on this man now. The beer can was left alone, nearly full, in Mako's hand as the man told his story.
"So, I walked up to the twisty old tree in between them, and this gorilla-monkey thing at the entrance sensed my emotions, and he told me some spirity mumbo-jumbo, you know the type. But anyway, I walked into the tree, and all my memories started flooding back. Good, bad, average, everything! So I sat down and mediated, and focused on the good ones, because I hadn't felt genuinely happy in so long!"
"And what happened?!" Mako urged, leaning closer, and the guy's voice rose as he came to the climax of his story.
"I remembered all these distant memories of my little girls," he said, beaming with joy. "All the happy times. Oh, when I walked out, I felt enlightened! I know it sounds cheesy, but after that day I vowed to never, ever do coke again. I will see my girls again one day, I know I will, and I will not let them think that their father has become some kind of junky!"
"All these distant memories," Mako repeated. "You remembered 'all these distant memories'." He shot up off the bench, despite his legs having been wrecked just a few minutes ago. "Thank you so, so much, sir!" He shook the man's hand vigorously.
"Leaving so soon, stranger?" he asked disappointedly, but when he saw the look in Mako's eyes, he smiled. "You have something you need to remember?"
"Yes! Thank you!" Mako agreed, and he shoved the can back in his pocket. He sploshed around and spilt a tiny bit, but he didn't care. He bade farewell to the kind stranger, and marched determinedly up to the portal. He stared at the bright yellow light for a moment, then stepped inside.
Mako emerged a few seconds later out of the same portal that he'd exited to the South Pole back at Harmonic Convergence. He spotted the tree, and belted towards it, his drink staining the inside of his trousers and running down his leg, but he still didn't care. He arrived at the tree a minute later, fairly out of breath. He hadn't done any exercise recently to counter the amount of drink he was taking in, so he was very unfit. Just as he was about to enter into the tree, a chimpanzee-lion appeared in front of him.
"What do you think you're doing, filthy human?!" it demanded, pushing Mako away from the entrance. "Why do you wish to enter the Tree of Time, the roots of which connect the mortal and spiritual world?"
"A woman says that I'm the father of her daughter," Mako confessed immediately. "But I can't remember. So I need to go inside this tree and see if what she said is true." The spirit regarded him warily for a moment, but then seemed to sense that Mako's claim was authentic. They stared off for a minute anyway, Mako only pleading for admission while the spirit pondered whether or not to grant it to him.
"You may enter," it allow eventually, and Mako let out a sigh. "But don't you dare vandalise anything! I'll know!"
"Of course not," Mako replied, and it disappeared with a harrumph. "Thank you!" he called out, then climbed into the tree.
Instantly, dozens upon dozens upon dozens of memories flooded his head, but he couldn't pick put the one that he was looking for. So he sat down, and concentrated hard. Harder. He went back eleven months, and suddenly a forgotten memory of Korra showed itself. Her strolling in his door and arguing with him, before putting her hands up. Mako spurred the memory on, and it showed them starting to drink. Drinking a lot. The shot glasses came out. They started pushing each other.
Mako gasped as he remembered the entire night fully. All the suspicions and denials suddenly faded away as it all played out. He watched it fully, not sure what to think, as the proof that Mako was indeed the father of Korra's daughter showed itself.
But then a different memory, of him and Bolin shuddering under a bus stop shelter. The emotions vividly expressed themselves. Alone. Confused. No-one to help them. And in that moment, all of Mako's grief, self-pity, and anger vanished in an instant, replaced by pure determination.
"My daughter will not be raised without a father figure in her life!" he declared out loud. He jumped out of the tree and began walking back to the portal. He was going to make sure that Kalla knew her dad.
But first, he had another issue which he had been avoiding for far too long. He was going to go to Bolin and beg for forgiveness.