Fitz nudged Olivia until she woke.
"Hey angel," he called.
Olivia stretched and yawned. She could see a little bit of morning light shining through the drapes and realized it was morning.
As Fitz leaned closer on the bed and accidentally kneeled on the silver balls.
"Au…" he said with a chuckle as he pulled it from under his knee and threw it across the bed. "I've gotta get out of here."
"Nooo…" she whined.
Fitz smiled and leaned down and kissed her.
"I'll come back to you as soon as I can."
Olivia smiled.
"Last night was great…"
"This morning too," he said with a smile.
He laid on top of her and kissed her again.
"The second you find out your pregnant you know you have to call me right...I mean..I'll be back before then but if I'm not here you have to call me."
"Fitz, we don't know that I'll be pregnant."
"I know but I can't help it, this is why I didn't want to start trying."
"We didn't try, it was an accident, accidents happen."
"Yeah, but after the accident, I came in you like 5 more times. Was that an accident too?"
She chuckled.
"I don't know but I'm stuffed and I was hoping to get a little more stuffed before you leave."
"More? After this morning with those balls in your pussy and crying about how sore you are?"
She gasped and hit his arm lightly.
"Don't say it like that and so what, it's hours later and I need sex, you can't leave me here all hot and bothered."
"I masturbated in the shower so it might take me a few minutes to get hard again."
Fitz stood up and pulled the blanket off her. She was naked under the sheets.
He pulled down his pants and climbed in between her legs. He began to stroke himself slowly when Olivia sat up and pushed him over on the bed. He fell on his back and then she kneeled in between his legs and began licking his tip.
Fitz sucked in air through his mouth and cursed, "shit...be gently baby you did things to my dick this morning that penises weren't meant to do."
she licked him again.
"Is that why you whacked off in the bathroom."
"I didn't wanna bother you- shit that feels good - you said you were sore."
When his erection formed after she'd been sucking him gently for a few minutes he leaned up and he pushed her down on her back and opened her legs sideways then entered her slowly, finding her warm and wet.
He pulled Olivia's leg over his shoulder as he thrust slowly.
Olivia grabbed into the sheets, "oh yes…."
Fitz slapped her ass and watched as it jiggled then he slapped it again.
She could feel liquid swelling inside her and as Fitz continued thrusting it slowly began to seep out on the bed and on his legs.
Fitz leaned down and pulled her closer to his body and whispered,
"I don't wanna leave you. You are so fucking sexy."
"Then don't. Just stay," she closed her eyes as her orgasm took her. "Stay...fuck-oh my god," she cursed as her legs shook uncontrollably and liquid gushed out of her. She felt Fitz's body tense and stiffen. He fell down on top of her and held her tightly and kissed her.
When his orgasm passed he slowly pulled out and fell beside her and let out a deep breath.
"God Livie," he said with a chuckle.
Olivia smiled and leaned over and kissed him.
"Your pussy is...I can't even describe it."
"Your penis is amazing," she retorted with a smile.
Fitz got curious.
"What's amazing about it?" he asked.
"Well, it's big-"
"Is that a good thing? Weren't you just complaining about that?"
"No, I said it was too long because if you go too deep it hurts but it's still good because it hits my g-spot every time but I love the fact that it's so thick.
"Okay I have a problem with that because you complain about length but then when we're having sex you're screaming at me to go deeper and then when I do go deeper, you cry that it hurts and then when I stop you tell me to go deeper. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
Olivia sat up.
"I'm sorry, sometimes I get caught up in the moment. I love you so much that in the moment I don't really care if my cervix gets destroyed."
Fitz belly-laughed when she said the words and sat up and kissed her.
"Let me go change, you squirted all over my sweater."
He hopped up and pulled on his bottoms then walked to his closet to changed his sweater.
Olivia got out of bed and stretched then she slipped on her silk robe and walked to the bathroom. She could feel cum running down her inner thigh as she walked. She turned on the faucet in the tub to run a bath for herself. Just as she finished brushing her teeth Fitz walked in.
"You know I meant it when I said I didn't want to leave."
Olivia turned around.
"I meant it when I said I wanted you to stay."
Fitz sighed and walked closer and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"We're good right, we're better?"
"We're perfect. Short memory."
"Short memory?" he asked.
"Yes. Let's not be haunted by the bad stuff, live it, forget it, move on okay? I love you."
She stretched up and kissed him.
"I love you too," he said as he kissed her back. "And I just hate that I'm excited now about a possible Lily number 2, I have no idea how I'm gonna focus."
Olivia chuckled.
"First tip on the new kid, don't call it Lily number 2."
Fitz laughed.
"I know right."
He kissed her again.
"I didn't want to tell you because I don't want to get your hopes up or my hopes up but I'm pretty sure this is gonna be the last of it okay?"
Olivia smiled.
"No, don't get excited that's why I didn't want to tell you. If you get excited I'm gonna get excited."
She shook her head, "okay, not excited at all."
He kissed her forehead.
"They've been waiting downstairs for me for hours."
"Okay, bye, be safe."
"I'm gonna say bye to Lily before I go. I love you."
"Okay, don't wake her, I want to take a bath before I get her up but I love you too."
"Got it."
After he kissed Lily goodbye, he left.
In the days following, Olivia went back to work. All the while she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she could be pregnant. She decided that after two weeks, she would begin taking pregnancy tests if her period didn't come. She was excited and the fact that Fitz was even more excited than her made her even happier.
After a usually long day of work, when she finished her nighty routine for her and Lily she called Fitz as she lay in bed. He answered on the first ring.
"So I did something really stupid...eh...I wouldn't say stupid, but's it's really annoying."
"What? What did you do?"
"I um well on my way back from our mission we stopped in Germany at our usual bar and I got you and Lily's name tattooed on my arm."
"What? Why?"
Fitz chuckled.
"I don't know, it happened so fast."
"The arm with the sleeve or the arm without it?"
"With the sleeve. It's in between the tribal ink by my shoulder, it actually looks really good."
"Our full names?"
"Yeah, it says Olivia and Lily."
"Were you drunk?"
"No, I don't need to be drunk to get the names of the two loves of my life tattooed."
"Why didn't you call me?"
"It happened so fast."
Olivia giggled and shook her head.
"I need a picture."
"I'm gonna send it when I get the chance. Anyways, what are you doing? Did Lily asleep?"
"Nope, she's right here, awake."
"What did you guys eat for dinner?"
"I had lamb chops."
"Do you use my dildo when I'm gone?"
"I already told you, it's too big and it's just a bother to have to grab the lube and then stuff it in me and then after all that work, I have to still have to do more work to make myself cum. No thanks."
He chuckled.
"Stop. I miss you."
Olivia smiled.
"Send me the picture. I love you. I'm going to go to bed."
"Love you too and remember not to take the test until I get back, it'll only be a few days, not even a week."
When Fitz hung up he reached over his shoulder and took a picture of their names and sent it to Olivia. She opened it immediately and smiled when she saw the names in cursive inked between the Viking marks on his arm.
"I LOVE IT!" she texted back.
"Good. I'm glad," Fitz texted back.
Fitz went back to his bedroom and showered before bed. The mission tomorrow was important, if it went as he planned, he'd be back home to Olivia in no time.
He tried to contain his excitement, three weeks ago he thought Olivia was leaving him, now everything was different. She could possibly be pregnant, they were bound to find out any day now and it was perfect timing because he would be back home soon so he could be there for her this time.
The next morning he was up early preparing for his day. He did his usual early morning workout which consisted of a 5 mile run on the treadmill and weightlifting. When he was finished he showering and grooming himself he got dressed and ate breakfast then he texted Olivia asking her to send a picture of her and Lily. A few minutes later she texted him and selfie of her and Lily in the bubble bath together.
"I love you," he texted back.
Within a few hours, they were gathered together on the deck, inspecting the masks they'd be using for the mission. It was some ultra-new and groundbreaking technology that his scientists had developed at the base. There were 2 masks, one for Akio and Anton who were the only two on team one who were similar height and build as Fitz. Akio was a little shorter and Anton a little taller but they could pass as him to strangers. Olivia would be shocked when she next saw him because he had shaved his beard in the morning. It was because he needed to look exactly like Anton and Akio in their masks.
When the team suited up, Fitz, Anton, and Akio dressed identically and then Anton and Akio were fitted into their masks.
They were ready. He was ready but for different reasons.
Soon they were on the jet. After some hours they neared landing.
"Prepare to disembark-" the co-pilot said over the intercom.
Everyone stood and prepared for the landing.
Fitz closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath.
"For my family," he said silently to himself and then the mission commenced.
On her way back home she stopped at the pharmacy to buy several pregnancy tests for when Fitz came home. It was now a month since she removed her IUD, her period should be back but it wasn't. She kept in mind that her period could show up at any moment but the symptoms she usually got of bloatedness and cramping and even PMS were absent. When she reached home with Lily that night and bathed and ate dinner she called Fitz but he didn't answer. She needed him to get home quickly because she was ready to take the test.
Olivia called him again a few hours later before she went to bed and got no response. She woke several times in the night to call him but he didn't respond. The next morning she called again, still no response. A bit of panic set in as it usually did whenever she didn't get an immediate response from him but she told herself to be calm. All that ran through her mind was how he told her he would be coming home soon and she wondered if they knew.
"Just please text me to let me know you're okay. Please. You know how I worry. Ps- I bought like 5 pregnancy tests," she texted before she began getting ready for her day. She called him again on her way to work and then again before she began responding to emails. She continued throughout the day, each unanswered called making her more nervous, more anxious.
Two days passed. She knew something was wrong, it had to be wrong. In her gut, she could feel it and she couldn't sleep because of it. She needed to hear from him. At this point she couldn't think, she couldn't really work but she tried to keep calm. She tried to think of the different scenarios in which Fitz wouldn't return her call for two days but she was unable to come up with one that made sense. If his phone was destroyed he knew her number and could call her regardless so that couldn't be the reason. The last time she spoke to him he was headed to a mission, she tried not to think about what that meant but instead focused her energy on calling him every half an hour on a loop.
She tried to think about where she could find information to call any one of the deltas but Fitz didn't leave any of that information. The last time she called them it was from his phone.
After laying in bed for a while trapped in her own mind she finally got up and brushed her teeth and showered. When she left her bedroom she turned off the news which she'd been glued to because she hoped if anything crazy happened it would be reported by the news. They were a secret unit so the chance was slim but she hoped nonetheless.
She turned on the TV in the media room and raised the volume loud enough to hear it from the kitchen. She had Lily's baby monitor with her in case Lily woke up. It was later than usual for her put for the past day her schedule had been off.
She prepared Lily's breakfast which consisted of oatmeal, sliced strawberries, and blueberries. As she prepped Lily's lunch and snacks for the day Erin walked into the kitchen.
"Ohhh- you look bad, you haven't heard from him yet."
"Nope."
"He's gonna call okay and I'm sure he's gonna have a good reason, everything is fine just think positive."
"I can't, I just have this bad feeling, he never does this even when he got sliced across his freaking face he was home that night."
"Twin, stop freaking out."
"You don't understand something is wrong, I know it is and there's nothing I can do but sit here and wait and go crazy."
Erin didn't know what to respond to make Olivia feel better so she walked over and gave Olivia a hug.
"Hopefully everything is okay. I'll help with Lily till Sonia gets here, just take it easy okay."
"No, it's okay she's the only thing keeping me sane right now."
Erin nodded at least let me make you some breakfast.
"I'm not really hungry."
"Olivia, come on, you have to eat."
"If you want to help me can you stay in the media room and listen to the news and let me know if anything about Fitz comes up?"
Erin sighed, not in an annoying way but because she felt bad seeing Olivia like that, with bags under her eyes and dull pale skin.
"Okay, no prob, I'll let you know if anything pops up."
Olivia nodded and continued preparing Lily's lunch.
The moment Erin sat down she saw a flashing chyron with Fitz's face. She turned it down quickly she didn't know what to expect and she didn't want Olivia to hear if it was bad.
"Alright we have some breaking News: Fitzgerald Grant III, son of late senator Fitzgerald Grant II, has been beheaded by terrorists in newly released video. We have the actual video but I must warn you that it is very graphic and may be disturbing to some viewers."
"Oh my god- no," Erin said, shocked.
The video flashed on the screen of Fitz surrounded by 3 men. His hands were tied behind him. He was kneeling on the ground in what looked like a dirt room. The men were masked and wore long black coverings. She watched as they pulled out a machete and chanted something in their language then shoved him down over a flat surface and swung the machete against his neck. When lifted his head, it was blurred but she saw blood dripping from his neck.
A few moments after Erin left Olivia heard the volume on the TV go down to the point where she couldn't hear.. She'd had a hard time hearing it before because the house was so huge the sound from the media room wasn't clear in the kitchen but she was still able to make out what they were saying.
She dropped the knife in the sink and walked to the media room. The moment she stepped off she heard Lily crying on the baby monitor. Suddenly she was feeling overwhelmed and stopped and took a breath then she saw Erin walking towards her. The look on her face told her everything she needed to know but she refused to believe it.
"No."
Erin shook her head over and over. She opened her mouth to speak but she didn't know what to say to Olivia.
Lily was still crying on the monitor and everything seemed to be happening all at once.
Olivia continued to the media room but Erin stopped her.
"Olivia no-"
She pushed past Erin and ran to the media room. When she saw the chyron her eyes filled with tears. Time seemed to stand still and all she could feel and hear was her heart beating in her chest. Then the video played and she saw them chop his head off and held it up with blood dripping from his neck.
Her legs gave way under her and she dropped to the floor and she screamed. A gut-wrenching, agonizing, ear-piercing scream that sent Erin running over to her to hold her. When Sonia walked in, she immediately heard screaming and ran to the noise. When she got to the media room she saw Olivia on the floor screaming and crying. She could also hear Lily crying on the baby monitor.
"What's going on?" Sonia said frantically.
Erin pointed to the tv screen and when Sonia looked up and saw it she gasped in horror.
"Jesus! No!"
She dropped to the floor and held Olivia tight in her grasp, trying to console her screaming.
"Bring Lily," Sonia said quickly, "maybe she'll help her calm down."
Erin ran quickly upstairs. When she walked into Olivia's bedroom Lily was on the floor screaming. She'd climbed off the bed which she didn't usually do and she was also screaming which was also rare for her. She picked up quickly and hushed her.
"It's okay baby Lily, I'm gonna take you to mommy right now."
As she consoled and looked at her the realization that Lily no longer had a father and would grow up without one made her emotional. Though she didn't know Fitz that well, she'd been there long enough to know he was an outstanding father. She walked back with Lily downstairs and when she got to the media room Olivia was still on the floor, she was no longer screaming but she was still hysterical. She had her arms wrapped around her folded legs rocking back and forth as Sonia held her. Erin quickly turned off the tv so Lily wouldn't see the footage.
"Look Liv, Lily needs you."
Erin tried to put Lily in Olivia's arms but she wouldn't take her which caused Lily to start screaming again.
"Olivia she's crying for you, she wants you."
"NO!" Olivia screamed.
"Okay just hold Olivia, let me take care of Lily."
Sonia took Lily and Erin kneeled beside Olivia trying to console Olivia.
Olivia stayed on the ground for hours until they managed to get her upstairs and into bed. Sonia gave her some sedatives to calm her down enough to sleep and even though it calmed her down she didn't sleep. She laid in bed despondent. She felt lost. There was nothing that could prepare her for this feeling. She felt something similar when her mother died but even then she was too young to fully grasp the loss. This time she was old enough and wise enough to understand what it meant but she just couldn't believe it. It had to be some sort of bad dream or some trick. There was no way Fitz was gone. She didn't want to believe it but the image of his severed head was imprinted in her mind.
Sonia slept over that night and in the following days to help Olivia with Lily. All the while Erin tried getting Olivia to eat, drink and get out of bed.
"Liv, come on, this is not healthy, you have to get up."
Erin walked over to Olivia's bed and sat beside where she was curled up under the blanket. She hadn't showered in the three days since Fitz's death.
"Liv, his lawyers have been calling because they want to sort out his will. We have to plan a funeral-"
"Don't say that," Olivia said softly.
"Liv we have to. This is your husband and Lily's dad. You have to give him a funeral. You have so many people calling to offer condolences. I know it's hard but you really have to be tough for him and Lily. I know it's not fair and for once you just want to lie here and cry until you don't feel so shitty but you can't."
Olivia didn't respond.
"Please, Lily needs you."
After three days, the words finally connected.
She wiped her eyes dry from the tears and slowly sat up. Erin helped her. As Olivia stepped off the bed, she dropped to the floor unconscious.
She woke hours later in a hospital bed. It was blurry at first but then she blinked her way to clarity she saw Erin, Sonia, and Lily.
"Oh thank god," Sonia said once she saw Olivia was awake.
"What happened?" Olivia asked.
"Severe dehydration is what the doctor said," Erin responded.
Olivia looked over and saw an iv drip attached to her arm.
Everything that happened before was coming to her. Lily sat on Sonia's leg staring at her with sad eyes.
Olivia stretched for her and when Sonia brought her over Olivia held her tightly in her arms hugging and kissing her. She realized how absent she'd been for the last few days and the guilt was beginning to weigh on her. Lily was now fatherless and needed her now more than ever.
"Mom's here now okay, we're gonna get through this together." she kissed Lily's forehead again and wiped her own eyes. At this point, she couldn't hold back the tears and she didn't know when if ever that would change.
There was a knock on the door before it opened and the doctor walked in, accompanied by a nurse.
"Hi, Ms. Pope, I'm your physician, my name is Dr. Brand and this is your nurse Lucy. I wanted to speak with you and see how you were doing? Is it okay if we speak in front of your guests or would you like some privacy?"
"It's okay." when she spoke, it was obvious she'd been crying.
"Do you need a moment, I can come back?" the doctor said.
Olivia shook her head.
"Alright."
The doctor was tall and slender. He had brown hair and mocha skin. He pulled a pen from his white coat and pushed the tip down to write something on the clipboard in his hands. The nurse was a rather tall woman with blonde hair and green eyes. She stood by the end of the bed.
"How are you feeling? Any dizziness or nausea?"
"No."
"Your sister told me what happened? You lost consciousness while getting out of bed?"
Olivia nodded.
"Was there anything else that you experienced before falling?"
"No."
The doctor took out a flashlight and flashed it in Olivia's eyes and noted the response.
"You are severely dehydrated, well you were, one night here and you can be discharged tomorrow."
Olivia nodded.
"But you have to ensure that you are drinking an adequate amount of water daily, about 7-8 glasses a day."
Olivia nodded.
"Um, do you know when you saw your last period?"
"No."
"I ask this because you are pregnant, according to the blood test I'd you are 2 and a half weeks which is really 4 and a half weeks because we count two weeks before conception but we would still like to know the date of your last period for accuracy?"
In the past three days, the possibility that she could be pregnant didn't leave her thoughts. She couldn't bring herself to take the test because she didn't know what finding out would do to her. If it was negative then the reality that they would have no more children seemed too painful to face. If it was positive, facing 40 weeks of pregnancy and raising two children without Fitz seemed even more painful.
Now she didn't have a choice but to face it.
She'd zoned out once again, her eyes filled to the brim with tears again.
"Ms. Pope?" the doctor called.
Erin rushed over to the doctor.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, "her husband just died a few days ago, so this is a lot for her to process."
"Oh. I'm so sorry, I'll give you a moment," the doctor said and then motioned to the nurse to leave.
The next day when Olivia walked into her bedroom Lily was sleeping on her arms. She laid her down gently and took off her shoes. It was just after 12 noon and after a sleepless night in the hospital, she was tired as well.
She was covering Lily with the blanket when Sonia walked in.
"I had Greg make you some lunch okay, I told him chicken soup, I think it will be good for you?"
Olivia nodded.
"Okay go wash up and I'll keep an eye on her."
Sonia kissed her cheek and hugged her.
"You're a tough girl, you're gonna get through it."
Olivia held on to Sonia's hands and looked her in the eyes.
"Thanks, Sonia, for everything."
"Oh it's no problem, I care about you and Lily like my own daughter and granddaughter. Now come on, wash up so you can eat, you're eating for two."
Olivia nodded and walked back to her bedroom. Bathing consisted of sitting on the floor of her bathtub and crying as the drops of water pattered against her skin. After half an hour, she found the strength to get out. She tried her best to eat and when she was finished, she went back to her bedroom to lie down for the rest of the day.
The next morning, she woke up to Erin nudging her. After barely sleeping throughout the night, Erin woke her as soon as she succumbed to sleep with Lily cuddled beside her.
"Sorry to wake you Olivia but it's been 4 days, you have to start planning his funeral, you have so many people needing to speak to you, I know you don't want to but you have to."
Olivia sat up slowly as Erin took a seat on her bed.
"His lawyers need to meet with you, the navy called saying they want to deliver his personal belongings and his dog, a bunch of governors and senators are calling and Lucky keeps showing up at the gate wanting to speak to you."
"Erin I can't handle this, I'm sorry, I can't even think about talking to anyone or planning a funeral without falling apart," she started crying. "Please just help me."
Erin nodded.
"Okay, what do you want me to do?"
"I don't know."
"Okay look, the super important stuff like the lawyer and maybe military stuff you have to take care of but the other people I'll take care of."
Olivia nodded.
"Thank you."
Erin left to return called of all the people who had called to offer condolences. She then went to find a funeral director to help plan Fitz's funeral. She arranged for the lawyer to come and speak with Olivia and she also arranged the navy to call Olivia the next morning.
When the lawyer arrived at 11am sharp the next morning, Erin was the one who had to fetch Olivia from her bed. She still had no interest in doing anything apart from staying secluded in her bedroom with Lily.
When she finally got Olivia from the bedroom to the study where Fitz's lawyer was waiting, the lawyer began the meeting by handing Olivia a small package.
"Mr. Grant gave this to me before you were married, he said that I should give it to you at his passing."
Olivia took the manilla envelope and opened it. Inside were two letters and a ring. The ring was a small gold band, almost like a wedding ring but engraved inside were the words 'doux bébé'. One of the letters was addressed to her and one to Lily.
"He asked that you read it in private," the man said.
Olivia looked up at him, unfazed. She didn't know which one to read first so she read the one he addressed for her. It was written in his horrible left-hand cursive that she'd somehow developed the ability to read. For the briefest of moments, she felt hopeful, maybe this was some kind of message from him, or some code, letting her know he was okay.
Dear Livie:
Writing this letter is probably one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I had to do two things. First, accept the fact that when you read this, I'd be dead. Next, I had to think about what I wanted you to know in that scenario. First of all and most importantly, I want you to know how much I love you, really love you. Before you came into my life I was just this lost soul wandering around aimlessly. I wasn't scared of death because I didn't have anything to live for. That was two years ago which seems crazy that so much has changed in two years. Now I'm terrified of you leaving you and Lily and any other children we might have. I'm thinking we'll have about five kids but I have no idea how many we'll be at by the time you read this letter. I planned on updating this letter when I leave the base so if you're reading this one it means I didn't even last a year there. I guess I just need you to know that looking back at us, if I had the chance to do it all again, meet you, fight with you and fall in love with you knowing what that would mean and everything we'd have to endure I would to it all again 1000 times over. You are without a doubt the best thing that's happened to me in this life. You brought so much joy and love and meaning to my life in ways where I didn't think it possible like our beautiful baby girl. You are the strongest person I know and I can rest easy knowing that Lily has you when I'm gone. No matter how I leave you I want you to be okay. I want you to thrive. Don't mourn me-I'm kidding mourn me a little and then move on. Just for my own ego, find someone that's not as good in bed as me and not a pretty so I can laugh at how much he sucks even in death just please make sure that he deserves you."
Olivia had streams of tears running down her face but she was smiling.
"I have to stop now else I'll blather on forever. I love you no matter what please don't forget that."
Ps - The ring is for you. Since you'll have to take off your wedding ring, I figured this would be a good replacement as a symbol of my affection for you. It was my mother's and her mother before her and so on. You can pass it on to Lily when you think the time is right.
As Olivia looked down at the letter she realized her tears were smudging the words on the paper and quickly wrapped it up and pressed it against her chest and closed her eyes.
"Mrs. Grant, do you need a moment."
Olivia sniffed and wiped her tears.
"Yes but um...you'll have to come back another time. I can't do this right now.
She slipped the gold ring on her index finger but she didn't think she would ever be ready to take off her wedding ring. It was then that she finally found the resolve to plan his funeral, difficult as that might be for her but to do that, she needed his body.
In the following days, she met with a representative from the navy. They gave her Zeus, they gave her his clothes and all his other personal belongings but not his body no matter how she tried and cried and threatened, they said they said they never recovered it from the men who killed him.
It had been two weeks since Fitz's death. She stood on the stage with about one 100 people staring up at her. It was hard to say goodbye without him there so she placed pictures there instead. One of them together on their wedding day, one of them together with Lily when she was just days old. One was the first picture he took in the Navy when he was just out of college and another was when he received his general status. She didn't want to include his military life but it was hard not to, most of his pictures were from the military. His coffin, though empty had the American flag draped over it.
She could see people were anxious to hear what she had to say. She cleared her throat audibly on the mic as she shifted back and forth with Lily sleeping on her shoulder because Lily refused to go to anyone else.
It was hard for her to speak because she felt like as soon as she opened her mouth for a word to come out only tears would come.
"This is really hard for me but I had to do it," Olivia said looking down at Lily. "I guess anyone could say that, I mean it's a funeral right, we're all here for closure, for that last goodbye but the only problem is that Fitz isn't here, his body isn't here, how do you say goodbye? For me, I replay my last moment with him on a loop in my head, the last thing he said to me was 'I'm gonna say bye to Lily before I go. I love you' to which I responded 'don't wake her, I want to take a bath before I get her up but I love you too'. "
She was suddenly feeling out of breath and anxious.
"-I-oh my god I can't do this."
She dashed off the stage and walked quickly towards the exit that led to the back room. Sonia followed after her quickly but Erin rushed up to the stage.
"I'm sorry, my sister is having a really rough time right now. She' mourning. I'm going to just go ahead and read the remarks she prepared today," Erin said.
That was what they'd to. If Olivia couldn't finish, Erin promised that she would.
Erin cleared her throat and began reading the worlds Olivia had written down on the sheets of paper.
"-I've been replaying those last words over and over in my head trying to find an adequate goodbye hidden somewhere in there but it's been impossible because that wasn't goodbye for me."
.Toward the back of the room she the double doors open and Abby stood dressed in a black dress and matching heels.
"Anyone who knows Fitz knew he was infinitely charming and funny and my god he was handsome.
Erin heard a light chuckle from the crowd.
"He was the most handsome man I'd ever met and from the moment I saw him I was captivated by him like pretty much every other woman he's ever met and he knew it too and wouldn't let anyone forget it."
They chuckled again.
She found herself smiling sadly at Olivia's words.
"I thought we had more time. We had so much planned for our lives together and I keep trying to imagine if this would be easier if we'd live a long life together, grown old, had more children and maybe some grandchildren if we were really lucky great-grandchildren but I don't think this would be any easier. Fitz was all about our family, about 6 months ago Fitz looked at Lily and then he looked at me and he said, 'We made a great baby, how about Lily number 2' to which I replied, 'that the best way to start off parenting children is by not referring to one of them as number 2'. Every year his favorite thing to was drive down to Monterey to this carnival his mother took him to as a child. He took me there when we first dated and he took Lily there last year even though she was too young to do practically anything. In the end, the most important things to him were being a good husband and an even better father, of which he was both. I couldn't have designed a better father for Lily if I'd cook him up in a lab. From the very moment, she came into his world, Fitz was there, supporting me, helping me. Every diaper change, every bottle, every bath, Fitz was there doing his part as a dad. I just wish I could've told him about our little Lily number 2 that's on the way. I wish he could've seen our children grow up, I know he wanted that more than anything in the world. In the end, as painful as it is to lose you, I'm so grateful and lucky to have known you and to have been loved by you. Thank you."
After Erin left, Lucky went up to say some words about Fitz. He'd been having a particularly hard time with Fitz's death as well.
Erin went to the backroom where Olivia was and found her sitting on the ground crying with Sonia.
"It'll get easier."
"No, it won't," Olivia responded. "I don't even wanna be here, this feels like such a sham, I don't even really think he's dead, I'm sorry if that sounds crazy but I don't, it doesn't feel like it."
"It's not crazy, to not feel closure so soon," Sonia said, "but Olivia this is his funeral if you don't participate, you'll regret it, it's almost over, we just have to bury him and when you can try to heal."
"I don't want to heal, I want my husband back!"
"Olivia-"
"What are we burying Sonia, they won't give me his body. Where is his body?" She yelled.
"I know, I know," Sonia said as she consoled her. "Listen, if you want to try to fight with the Navy to get his body then we can but for today, just bury the coffin, do it not just for you but for everyone, okay?"
Olivia closed her eyes and nodded. Erin helped her up and helped her clean her face and then they headed back out.
The first thing Olivia saw was Abby. Once they made eye contact, Abby headed for the exit and Olivia quickly followed with Lily and met Abby before she could exit the venue.
"Abby!" Olivia called.
Abby stopped her brisk walk and turned around but didn't speak.
Olivia didn't know if she found it strange that the other deltas didn't attend the funeral or if it would be strange if they did, considering the dynamic of her relationship with them. She had gotten no information in the past two weeks, which wasn't uncommon for a secret mission gone wrong but nothing felt right and even though she saw what happened on tv, she just couldn't accept it.
Abby stared as Olivia reached out to grab her hand even as she had Lily perched on her shoulder holding her with her other arm.
"How did it happen?"
"I can't tell you anything," Abby responded. "He's gone and he's not coming back."
Olivia nodded.
"Just say that he's dead and that you know for a fact that he is."
"You saw it, didn't you, just like me."
"Just say it, please, no one is telling me anything, I know what I saw but I just need you to say it. You were there with him, weren't you?"
"Yes. he's gone."
"Say he's dead."
"What's the difference?" Abby said.
"The fact that you don't want to say it is scaring me."
Abby took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, Fitz is dead, so is Akio and Anton."
Abby turned and left, leaving Olivia shattered and clinging to Lily.
Days earlier.
Abby stood outside the recovery room staring through the one-way glass. Huck stood by her side.
"You can't do this, it's not right," Abby insisted.
"It's done, without him, this place, this unit is done, we're a joke," Harrison chimed in.
"Everybody has to make sacrifices. This is his," Huck said.
"No, you can't make that choice for him, you may not like it but he has a family, he has a child."
"This is a chance to start over. You look me in the face and tell me that the last few years haven't been a total shit show. Now, this time he won't be distracted by anything."
"What if his memory comes back? Have you thought of that?"
"The doctor says that's very unlikely based on the type of head injury so I'm gonna take those chances."
"What are you gonna tell him his name is? He got Olivia and Lily's name tattooed on his arm, what are you gonna tell him that mean?"
"I'll tell him he got drunk and tattooed two hookers names on his arm. We'll tell him whatever."
Abby walked closer to the glass window and looked in on Fitz. He was sitting staring at nothing in particular, He's been awake for days now after being in a coma for just over a week and could remember nothing, not even his name.
"And if I tell him?" Abby asked.
"I wouldn't," Huck warned. "Anton and Akio are dead, I don't think that's a coincidence."
"What are you talking about?"
"Earlier this year, when Olivia was taken-"
"Yeah?" Abby responded.
"We did that and I'm sure Fitz knows. That's why Anton and Akio are dead.
"Which is exactly why you shouldn't do this. What are we going to do when he finds out. You're not thinking," Abby answered.
"Like I said, this unit is on the brink of collapse, we lost all our best fighters in the last two years and if he's gone too, we're done. It'll take a while but without all the emotional attachments to his family and what not he'll be his best self. We'll just have to build him up again from scratch. He still knows how to fight, that's really all we need. We won Abby, lighten up."
"Okay well just so you know at any moment his memory could come back and when that time comes, it's gonna be your funeral."
End.