NOTE: I read your comments and decided not to change the third person speech pattern. If you guys think it's okay, then I'll keep it that way. After all, you are the ones reading my fic. I just want things to make sense in English since it's a fic written in English.

And, for the timeline, Sasuke met Sakura at 18 (his first year at uni). When they got married, he was still 18 but turning 19 soon. Like many, I believe Sarada is the result of Sasuke's birthday sex. So that has to be his 20th birthday (his third year at uni). So, when Sarada was born he was still 20 but Sakura had turned 21 just three days ago. They stayed together for like a year after Sarada's birth. When they separated, they were 22 and Sarada 1. Now they're 25 and Sarada 4.

An acquaintance of Sakura's father takes us to the church the very next morning after we arrive at Suna. They look elated to see her actually turn up there. But they tell us that her 'mother' has always wanted her to know her story first. And then decide if she wants to meet her or not. So we find out her story as they call it.

Young girl, working at a small hotel in her village that was often frequented by rich people from the cities. She met a guy who went there to spend some of his father's excess money enjoying scenic beauty when the country was undergoing serious political unrest. He stayed there for a fortnight and in that time he managed to convince the eighteen year old girl that he loved her and well, the rest of the story is nothing special. Which I think is the most frightening part of it. How common this is. As she was waiting for him to come back to take her to the city with him, she found out she was pregnant. She got scared but still kept waiting, believing in his promises of a future together. As the pregnancy progressed, it started to get more difficult. Both physically and emotionally. So she left for the city. To find him. Which was next to impossible. But among the lies he had fed her with, he had given his family's name to her. Most likely because he never expected her to actually go looking for him. Long story short, seven months pregnant, when she finally found him, she learnt he already had a fiancé. He and his prestigious family gave her some money and told her to get lost. She didn't know what to do. She knew that people in the village won't ever accept her illegitimate child. Or her for having a child out of wedlock. So, with the money they had given her, she stayed in the city, had the baby, and a week later, she left her on the steps of the church and went back home.

The entire time, Sakura just sits there in silence. She feels more distant to me than she ever has. Making me very anxious. But at least I'm here with her. And that gives me something close to relief. In the end when she says she indeed wants to see her 'mother', they offer to contact her so that she can come meet her. But Sakura refuses. Instead, she asks for her address and asks them to inform her she'll be visiting. Just that.

That afternoon, we take a tram as suggested by the hotel staff. It takes us to the southern district, and I observe how the scenery gradually changes. It's clearly one of the poorer parts of the city. Getting off the tram, we have to ask a few people in order to find our way. And after almost a forty minute walk, we finally arrive at our destination. It's an old house, the plaster of the walls coming off at places, allowing the bricks to peek through like a skeleton from beneath the skin. The alley is narrow and lined with similar looking old worn out houses, most of them with balconies. Almost alarming me with the way they look like they'll be collapsing anytime now. We enter the building and climb the stairs to get to the first floor. I see the way Sakura's shoulders stiffen and her jaw clenches as she stands there, staring at the wooden door merely centimeters from her face.

"Do you want to go back?" I ask her very softly, putting a hand on her shoulder, "It's okay if you don't want to do this."

"No," her answer is very immediate as she looks me in the eye. And as if to prove her point, she presses the doorbell. The harsh sound almost startling me.

We don't have to wait long, the door opens almost immediately.

The woman on the other side... glances at the two of us. Before her eyes fix themselves on Sakura. Same shade of green but for some reason, they don't have the lustre like Sakura's. Instead, the appear a little hazy, almost reminding me of frosted glass. And yet, I see a shine in them as her lips curve into a smile, wrinkling her face. An awkward smile, but a smile.

"You grew up well."

Her words are slow and soft like a caress and for some reason it hits me hard. It reminds me of the way Sakura speaks when she talks about Sarada. And I think it's insulting. This woman, she abandoned her daughter while Sakura, she'd give her life for Sarada.

"Come in," she steps aside, letting us into the room which is not only very small, but jam-packed with things, mostly clothes. It makes our old back alley apartment feel like a mansion. But it's not dirty. I spot a sewing machine on one corner and remember that she works as a seamstress.

She pulls an old worn out wooden stool for herself as she offers the only two mismatched plastic chairs to us.

"Do you want coffee? But it's just cheap instant coffee," she adds immediately. "And I don't have milk either."

"It's okay. We're not old acquaintances catching up over a cup of coffee," Sakura opens her mouth for the first time. Her words coming out a little harsh.

"Oh... Yes... I..." she fiddles with the sleeve of her blouse, "Thank you for coming all the way to meet me."

"Why did you want to see me now?"

"I... Just wanted to see how you were doing," her voice drops a little.

"Took you a little too long. Don't you think?"

She smiles, a sad smile.

"I understand why you'd hate me."

"I don't hate you," Sakura replies promptly, "To hate someone, you need to know them. You're a stranger to me."

"Oh..." she smiles again, which by now I've figured out is a defence mechanism for her, "I... Tell your... parents," I don't miss the way she struggles with that particular word, like stumbling on a bump on the way, "that I am very grateful they brought you up so well."

"I don't think they need your gratefulness for raising their own child."

She keeps quiet for a while.

"I know. But I still am grateful. I just want them to know."

We sit in silence. And the room starts to feel very suffocating to me. Whether it's because of the closed space or the tension in the air, I'm not sure.

"On second thought, I would like some coffee. Can you make me some?"

The abrupt question takes both me and her mother by surprise. She stares at her, as if trying to weigh her words. Then she smiles, "Of course." She looks my way. "Would you like some as well?"

Feeling clueless, I glance at Sakura once. But she doesn't even look my way. In the end, I nod, "Yes."

She gets up and leaves the room.

"Sasuke," I know it from the way her voice shakes. I know how vulnerable she's feeling right now. I reach out and squeeze her hand a little, "I'm here. Right beside you."

"Thank you." Her voice is barely above a whisper.

After a while, her mother returns with two steel mugs.

"What about you?" Sakura asks.

"I only drink coffee when I work late at night," she smiles.

Sakura doesn't say anything, just blows on the mug a few times before taking a sip. "It's good."

The way her mother looks at her, as if at her wit's end, it baffles me. Before I remember this is the first time in her life that her child has eaten something made by her.

"Thank you..." she casts her gaze down.

I take a sip of the coffee. A hot watery solution with no flavour whatsoever.

"What is that?" I watch Sakura casually sipping the coffee as she points to what looks like a bundle of clothes on the table, looking a little out of space there.

"Oh... This?" she pulls that thing. It's a doll made of fabric. It looks old but at the same time, it's clean. It's cleaner than anything else I've seen here. It's been well taken care of. "I... had made this... For you..." She smiles, as if embarrassed, "I'm such a fool. You're a grown up now. I don't know why I even took it out."

"Why didn't you leave it with me? At the church?"

She looks up, then shakes her head.

"I made it later."

"Eh?" Now Sakura looks surprised, "After you left me?"

"Yes," she smiles.

She made a doll for the daughter she had already abandoned?

I watch this woman whose blonde hair has turned grey to a great extent, the wrinkles on her face make her look a lot older than she actually is. And in this moment, I realise something. She abandoned her baby, but she still missed her in her heart. That's why, even though she knew she never had a chance of seeing her again, she made this doll to console herself. I don't know this woman. But as a parent who has been through the pain of being separated from his child, even though my experience doesn't come close to hers, and neither did I abandon my daughter, still, in this moment, my heart acts on it's own will and decides to sympathise with her a little.

"Can you give it to me still? My daughter might like it."

I look at Sakura. Trying to make sense of what she might be thinking. But I find it quite difficult a task because I don't think even she knows how she's feeling at the moment. I know that in her mind, it's all but chaos right now. But one thing I know is she's trying her best to be kind and nice to this woman who by definition is her mother.

"You have a daughter?"

"Yes. She's four years old. Her name is Sarada." She suddenly reaches inside her pocket and takes her phone out.

"This is her."

Her mother pulls the stool closer and leans over to look at the screen. Then at my face. Then back at the screen. And for the first time I see a smile on her face that looks like an expression of happiness. "She looks just like your husband."

"She does. But she acts like me. Well, most of the time," Sakura leans closer to her as she shows her the photos, "This is from a while ago. When we went to the zoo."

"Aaah. Just look at you three. Such a happy family," she reaches out and places her hand on Sakura's, "I'm so happy you didn't end up like me and found a good husband who is there with you."

"I am too." Sakura smiles. For the first time since we stepped inside this place.

And I just sit there in silence. Never having felt more clueless in my entire life.

Note: Hi. I didn't feel like writing for a while. Btw, I did something fun in the meantime. I shaved my head. I've always wanted to and now I finally did it. I'm really happy.

To reader Little Whale, thank you for your super kind review it made me very very happy. And I get that the thoughts appear a little too dramatic at times. Because I wanted to try a little dramatic style in this fic. Because I already have a fic written in first person POV and I want it to have a little different mood from that one. I try to give a different mood to all my fics. Although it's very subtle and I think I am the only one who gets that lol. And you got it right ;)

Anyway, take care. That's all I can say. After all, even getting to stay home during a pandemic is a privilege not everyone can afford.

Love,

Bald June ️❤️

[03.05.2020]