A/N: You know what? Y'all are amazing. You deserve another update!
Thank you to my Beta, lozipozivanillabean! Thank you so much for all the effort huhu.
Enjoy!
xvi.
it starts with a feeling
(Falling in Love Pie by Sara Bareilles)
December 4, 1976
"Go away, Peter," Hermione muttered, batting away at his hands which were trying to pull her study materials away.
"Hermione," he claimed in exasperation, "it's Hogsmeade Day today. Don't you want to go out and have fun with your friends?"
"Why aren't you with your friends?" she snapped irritably, giving up altogether when Peter crammed all of her things inside her backpack.
Peter sighed. "Sirius bailed on us because he said he had a date with Marlene McKinnon," he started with a frown. "Remus has some Prefect duties that make him currently indisposed. James has Quidditch practise today, since their match against the Claws is fast approaching. So, I have no one else to be with today."
"Why don't you ask Mary MacDonald then?" she casually asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Her brother's face instantly turned a brilliant shade of red. "W– what?" he asked, trying to act nonchalant but failing miserably. "I mean, why should I even ask her? We're not even friends." He broke off and expelled a soft, nervous laugh that made Hermione roll her eyes.
"You're hopeless, Petey," she sighed. While her brother glowered at her, Hermione took that time to glance around the empty library. Even her classmates were enjoying this day in Hogsmeade and ditching an opportunity to study without distractions.
"So, come to Hogsmeade with me," Peter insisted once more. "Just take a breather, Hermione, Merlin!"
She frowned and thought about it for a while. She glanced at her colour-coded schedule and admitted to herself that her brain was already getting a bit fuzzy from her rigorous studying. If she skipped today, she could always compensate the following week. She did assign a cheat day for herself next week, where she wouldn't touch any textbooks, and had been meaning to start reading a new novel she had found in the small library in the Ravenclaw Common Room.
"Blimey, you're not trying to come up with a new schedule, are you?" Peter accused, his eyes narrowing into slits.
Hermione sheepishly smiled at being caught. "Petey," she interjected. "It's my OWLs year."
"If you haul your arse out of this library, I promise to buy you a yearlong supply of toffee," he said.
"Resorting to bribery, I see," she said, quirking an eyebrow.
"If I have a stubborn witch for a sister, then I should use whatever means," he shot back.
The brunette laughed. "Fine," she said, already rising from her chair. She stretched her arms over her head luxuriously and groaned when she felt her back crick. "I was getting a bit saturated from all my studying anyway. Let me just deposit my things and see you at the entrance?"
Peter narrowed his eyes. "If you ditch me, Hermione, I swear—"
"Ugh, Peter, I won't," she scoffed. "Just wait for me at the entrance. I'll be there soon, honest."
"Fine," he said begrudgingly. "Make it quick!"
It took her a few minutes to return to the Ravenclaw Common Room and leave her things. Hermione opted to wear a thick denim jacket and changed into sensible boots. After winding her Ravenclaw scarf around her neck, she walked out of the dormitory and sought out her brother.
Peter complained she had taken too long, but Hermione just tuned him out and sat inside the carriage. The Gryffindor soon followed and started asking her about how her year had been, what was she studying now, and would she watch James's upcoming Quidditch match.
Whilst Hermione indulged him with an answer, she realised she hadn't actually spent much time with her brother at Hogwarts. With her growing circle of friends and her upcoming OWLs, she hadn't really had the time to sit down and talk with Peter. He was always with his friends, and she had been trying to avoid an annoying hazel-eyed boy, after all, so she spent most of the time by herself or with her other friends.
Regulus had been a frequent study partner for a while now, and they had a silent mutual agreement they would never voice out any opinions about their blood status and their choice of company when together. Regulus was steadily becoming Hermione's new favourite study partner, even topping Lily and Severus, because he also knew the importance of keeping quiet. Mostly, they studied in comfortable silence which would only be broken when one of them asked a question.
Hermione was also starting to spend more time with her Ravenclaw friends. Dorothy, Michelle, and Alex always sought for Hermione every time they ventured in the library to study together. Lily had once lamented that Hermione was starting to have other friends than them, but the brunette merely laughed at her and swore she would always be her most favourite friend.
They finally reached the edge of Hogsmeade and hopped off the thestral-drawn carriages. The skeleton horses had still given her the creeps when she had seen them for the first time in this lifetime.
"You see them, too, don't you?"
Her eyes landed on her pensive brother. "Yeah," she breathed out.
Peter's face darkened as he looked away and buried his mitten-clad hands inside his pockets. She knew he was thinking about their deceased father once more. Peter had gotten over his death and believed that it truly was an accident, that it wasn't his fault, but sometimes he'd have his moments of self-doubt.
Hermione instantly looped her arm around his and tugged him. "Idiot," was all she fondly said.
Her brother gave her a sad smile and pulled her towards Honeydukes. Despite their late arrival, the whole shop was still brimming with students. Hermione greeted some of her Ravenclaw friends she recognised before trailing behind Peter. Her brother had instantly gone to the toffee section and was already scooping a bagful into his hands.
"My teeth are really going to rot soon," she glumly said, watching as Peter got another handful to add to her growing pile.
"No, they're not," he laughed. "You brush your teeth like crazy. I've never seen anyone so obsessed with getting clean teeth."
Peter grabbed a bunch of other sweets before going to the counter. Hermione tried to pay for her half, but her brother just waved her off.
Once their sweets were packed, they walked out of the busy streets of Hogsmeade.
"Where to next?" he asked.
"Scrivenshaft's," she replied instantly.
He sighed and smiled in exasperation. "Of course," he said. "I shouldn't have asked."
Hermione made her purchases in the said shop while Peter meandered around, grabbing some random school supplies he needed for this school year. Ever since Hermione had introduced multi-coloured ink to her brother – and by extension his friends – they'd been using it religiously. Peter agreed the different coloured inks highlighted some of the most important things for him, so studying had been easier.
Peter finally dragged her to the Three Broomsticks, complaining he was parched from all the walking. Hermione relented and let him search for an empty booth in the busy pub. Hermione craned her neck around, trying to search for Lily or Severus, wondering if they had gone to Hogsmeade today.
She was a tad disappointed she wasn't able to see them and glumly walked towards Peter, who by then, had been waving his hand enthusiastically at her.
Her brother ordered butterbeers and a few snacks for them to munch on. Hermione contented herself by observing everybody in silence, happy to see that there weren't any war-stricken looks on their faces. The brunette then glanced at her brother and noted the troubled look on his face.
Worried, she placed her butterbeer down and asked, "Is everything all right, Peter?"
He blushed and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Well," he started, unable to meet her eyes, "I don't think I'll be able to become an Auror after all."
The brunette frowned, unsure why he was suddenly talking about his future. "What do you mean?" she asked. "You passed the needed OWLs!"
He looked hesitant for a while, most likely debating whether to tell her or not. Hermione patiently waited for him to crack, because Peter always cracked, and she had to bite her bottom lip when he expelled a resigned sigh. "Well," he started, "I… kind of overheard Professor McGonagall saying things yesterday."
"About?" she urged.
"About me, actually," he added.
Hermione knitted her eyebrows. "A little elaboration may help," she said with a small laugh.
This only made Peter disgruntled as he slid deeper on his seat. "She told some teachers how I'm not up to par with my friends," he grumbled. His blue eyes hesitantly landed on Hermione. "And you."
A lump lodged in Hermione's throat, as she remembered a memory of Professor McGonagall back in her previous life, confessing how she'd been especially hard on Peter and had regretted it immensely.
"Said it was ridiculous how I hero-worshipped James and Sirius," he continued, tiredly running a hand down his face. "And always wondered why I was related to such a brilliant witch like you."
Her hand instantly latched onto his and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry," she said, guilty and sorrowful at the same time. She knew Professor McGonagall always meant well, but she never sugar-coated her words and expected everybody to be at their best - knowledge and attitude-wise.
Peter snorted and gave her a withering glance. "She wasn't wrong, you know," he pointed out. "Everybody in school knows you are the better Pettigrew."
"No," she ground out, suddenly impassioned. "No one is better than the two of us. We have different strengths, different faults. You shouldn't doubt yourself at all, Petey, because you are great. You are bloody great. Ask Mum; she knows that, too. Listening to criticism should always be a norm, because of course we still need to leave a lot of room for improvement. But, if such criticisms are baseless, spoken by people you never really interact with, who never really made it their job to know you, then I say you just ignore them altogether, because you know yourself better than anyone else."
She was deeply frowning by the end of her speech, her hand around Peter's, which was tightening with every syllable.
His eyes glistened but they still refused to meet hers. "Sometimes," he added, "I fear I will grow up to be like him, Hermione."
Her heart clenched in pain, because she thought he was over their father's death. She was once again brought back to a terrified ten-year-old Peter, sobbing over their father's grave because of guilt he wasn't supposed to feel.
She had watched him all these years, grew up beside him for goodness' sake! She had been beside her brother, reverently trying to keep him on the right path, and helping him become better because he was family. And she already knew that he would never grow up to become that traitor; she knew Peter Pettigrew would not grow up like a coward, hiding in the guise of his Animagus form in hopes of running away from all the sins he had committed.
"No," she vehemently replied, her eyes blurring with tears. "No, you're not going to grow up like him. You are loads better than him, Peter. In many ways… in all ways." She stubbornly swiped some stray tears escaping from her eyes and furiously glared at him. "How could you even think about that, after all these years? You have brilliant friends who love you, Peter. You have Mum and me. That… that man – he was alone with his insecurities and hate and I really hated how he became such a huge part of our childhood. I sometimes wished I had done something more because he hurt Mum. He hurt you. All he cared about was himself, Peter. Unlike you. Because you care a lot, about others so much, and that alone makes you so much better. So what if you aren't as good as James at Transfiguration? Or as good as Sirius at Defence? Or as ridiculously smart as Remus? You have the biggest heart amongst your annoying friends! And they know that too, which is why they let you stick with them, through all their stupid pranks and ridiculous shenanigans, because their group wouldn't be complete without you, Peter. So no, no, no you are not going to grow up like him. You were never even like him in the first place!"
She was crying then, trying to instil in her brother that he was better than what he thought about himself. Peter's eyes had gone wide after her tirade and he broke into a huge smile that made her sigh in relief.
"Blimey, Hermione," he chuckled, briefly looking away to discreetly wipe an errant tear. "You didn't have to blow your top off." He wrinkled his nose slightly and glared. "And why in Merlin's balls are you crying, honestly?"
She took a huge sniff and squeezed his hand once more. "Please don't ever doubt yourself, Peter," she pleaded. The slight teasing on his face disappeared as he openly stared back at her. "You are surrounded by people who can see your worth. Don't let others tell you otherwise."
The smile on his face looked relieved, more than anything else. "Okay," he said, vigorously nodding his head. "Okay, Hermione."
December 12, 1976
"I don't think that's right," Regulus protested, grabbing onto the parchment she had been furiously scribbling down on a while ago. "Professor Vector said you have to cancel this out first before trying to interpret the numbers."
"No," she interjected with a dark scowl, "she said you have to multiply this first before trying to interpret the numbers." She grabbed the quill from his hand and multiplied the number on the parchment. "Honestly, Regulus, were you even looking at the blackboard?"
"I was!" he snapped. "But your bushy hair kept on obscuring my vision."
She gave him a dark glare. "Then you should have changed seats if my hair annoys you so much," she growled.
"And miss an opportunity to annoy you?" he asked, a small smirk growing on his handsome face. "Fat chance, Pettigrew."
Hermione rolled her eyes and slid the parchment closer to herself. "I still think you have to multiply it first," she insisted. She thrust her Arithmancy textbook towards him and glared. "If you still don't believe me, then bloody read this, for Merlin's sake."
She ignored how his lips twitched in amusement and actually followed her advice.
She and Regulus had met up in the library once more to study for their OWLs. Regulus had finally been a constant companion in Hermione's life and was awarded one of her most coveted colour-coded schedules. Regulus promised he was religiously following the schedule she had made, even hinting he had been doing some advanced reading.
Merlin, he was really starting to become her favourite study partner.
"Hermione!" a harsh whisper reached her ears.
Surprised, she looked up from her parchment. She was not expecting to see James Potter standing near her table, his hazel eyes dark and furious as they latched onto the Slytherin sitting across from her.
"James?" she asked, hesitant. "Is something the matter?"
His eyes never left Regulus. The Slytherin was now coolly looking at James, seemingly bored, without any hint of emotion on his face. "We need to talk," he ground out. His eyes angrily swept from Regulus to her and Hermione did not appreciate being glared at.
"You can talk to me here," she shot back, growing slightly annoyed.
"No, I can't actually," he snarled in return.
Her eyes narrowed. "Why not?" she spat.
"Because it's obviously about me, Pettigrew," Regulus drawled in a bored tone.
The Gryffindor's anger increased as James stared down at the witch in front of him. "What is he doing here?" he said, pointing an accusatory finger in Regulus' direction.
"He's studying with me," Hermione defended. "I— why are you angry?"
"I'm not," he snapped.
"Yes, you are," she hotly replied.
He took a deep breath and glowered at the Slytherin across from her. "He's a – you know—" He tightly clamped his jaw, tensing with an emotion Hermione didn't understand at all. "He's a Slytherin," he finally said.
Hermione snorted. "Really? Still going on about House rivalry crap and all?" She matched his glare, even when his cheeks reddened. "He happens to be a decent study partner, James. And we're both really just studying for our OWLs. Is that even so bad? And I— why are you angry?"
"I am not!" he hissed, his hands clenching at his sides.
"Yes, you are, you berk," she echoed. "What are you even doing here?"
He hesitated for a moment, uncertainty painted in his hazel eyes, and Hermione was so confused. "I… I thought of dropping by to ask if you would come to the Gryffindor Quidditch match tomorrow," he sourly said, his glaring eyes now directed at his shoes.
Hermione blinked in confusion as her eyebrows knitted together. "I might," she deliberately replied. "You're playing against my House after all."
James fluffed his hair and huffed in annoyance. "All right," he said. He paused, looked suddenly irritable once more, and glared at Regulus. "You shouldn't associate with the likes of him, Hermione."
"Excuse me?" the Slytherin scoffed.
"What?" she snapped, furious again.
"He's bad news," he hotly replied, pointing another finger at the Slytherin. "He's a prejudiced bastard who thinks the world would be a better place if people like you didn't exist. You, of all people, should know that, Hermione."
She knew he was right. She still remembered their disastrous conversation that forged the way to this tentative, albeit very weird, friendship. But Hermione did not appreciate being talked to like that, with judgment and fury laced together into an ugly snarl. And why the bloody fucking hell was he so angry?
"First, Sev, and now Regulus," she snarled under her breath. "I don't care what you think about them, but I don't appreciate it when you question my decisions on who I should and should not associate with."
"Hermione—"
The brunette resolutely looked away from the fuming Gryffindor. "I think you've already achieved your purpose for seeking me out in the library," she snapped in dismissal. "Goodbye, James."
She was unable to see what expression he was making. Hermione heard him expel a sigh of resignation before murmuring his own goodbye. Once she was sure he wasn't going to come back, the brunette once again found herself unwittingly staring at his retreating back.
"Well, that was entertaining," Regulus then commented.
Hermione's gaze landed on the mildly amused Slytherin and frowned. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know what has gotten into him."
His eyes were calculating. "Potter's still wooing Evans?" he asked.
She knitted her eyebrows together in confusion. "Yes," she slowly responded. "Why do you ask?"
"Interesting," he murmured, ignoring her question, as a frown now marred his aristocratic face. The Black heir snorted and casually leant against the backrest of his chair. "He isn't entirely wrong, though," he said, his gaze turning intense and meaningful. "I am bad news, Pettigrew. You shouldn't associate yourself with me."
"Then, why do you keep on seeking me out in the library?" she shot back in confusion.
Regulus quirked an eyebrow. "I did tell you I needed a decent study partner who'd help me achieve decent grades on my OWLs," he stated matter-of-factly. "This… association benefits me immensely. I don't see why you're allowing me to use you, Pettigrew."
It unnerved her how he was casually confessing how he viewed their association. And Hermione knew she should be angry with him, but she'd remembered how vulnerable he had looked back on the day he had sought her out in the library early this school year.
To his surprise, Hermione smiled. "You're not using me," she pointed out.
"I'm not?" he asked, dubious.
"No," she said, her smile growing larger. "You want to be my friend."
Surprise briefly flitted in Regulus's eyes, but it was soon hidden behind his usual mask of indifference. The corner of his mouth kept on twitching, though, when he replied, "Don't be ridiculous."
Hermione merely laughed.
December 13, 1976
Hermione found herself blinking widely at the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Password?" she asked, busy tinkling with her wine glass. When Hermione still hadn't talked, she glanced down at the silent brunette and noted her school tie. "You're not a Gryffindor."
"I got invited for the party," she stated, belatedly wishing she had at least gone back to her dormitory to dress out of her school uniform. But she was running late after spending the remaining hours of the day in the library. Lily would surely go ballistic if she ditched her today. "Camelot."
The Fat Lady still looked a tad suspicious, but she finally swung her portrait open and allowed Hermione to enter inside.
Hermione nervously meandered through the rowdy group, trying to search for her best friend amongst the crowd. She still firmly believed this was a bad idea; she should have just stayed in the library until curfew. But Lily insisted she should drop by the Gryffindor Common Room for the celebration party being thrown by the Quidditch team. After their House spectacularly won against Ravenclaw a while ago, the Gryffindors had agreed to throw a party to celebrate their win.
She was able to watch the game, of course. Although the Gryffindor Seeker caught the Snitch, it was undeniable that James Potter's amazing performance as the Chaser guaranteed the win. Without him, Ravenclaw may have had a chance to defeat them. Now, Hermione understood that Quidditch really did run in the blood of the Potters. She felt like she was watching her Harry play Quidditch once more, making her feel teary and uncomfortable, which was why she excused herself a bit earlier before the end of the match to compose herself in the library.
Lily soon found her in the library slaving over a Transfiguration textbook, and demanded that she should come over to the Gryffindor Common Room. "Everybody wants to meet the brightest witch of her age," she had teased, prompting Severus to snort and Hermione to blush. "I would have invited Sev, too, but I don't want the whole tower to blow up. I'm quite fond of our common room, actually."
Hermione promised she would come after Lily's persistence, saying that she still had some last-minute revision to do. Lily and Sev left her alone then, and Hermione had been debating for the last hour whether she should really go or not.
She had dodged Lily's invitations before and she knew Lily would drag her arse to the tower herself, if Hermione still refused to come. Besides, it was just the Gryffindor Common Room. Granted, each corner would most probably overwhelm her with memories of Hermione Granger, but she could just distract herself with the rowdy Gryffindors. After all, parties thrown by Gryffindors were infamous throughout the school, no matter what timeline they were in.
The lone Ravenclaw backpedalled a bit when she was greeted with a blasting song from a Wizarding band she didn't recognise. The whole place was decorated with proud lions, red and gold, and someone had bewitched red and gold fireworks that illuminated the whole ceiling. Most of the squashy chairs were pushed to the sides to give some space in the middle, for dancing or playing, or whatever the students wanted to do. Hermione was able to spy a small table holding towering piles of food they had undoubtedly snuck out of the kitchens. There was a punch bowl too, most likely spiked by a Gryffindor prankster, since some of the students were already swaying on their feet and giggling over something ridiculous.
"HERMIONE!"
She heard her name amongst the ruckus and was greeted with a mouthful of red hair obscuring her vision. "Lily," she greeted, pulling the overexcited Gryffindor away from herself. The older witch's cheeks were already flushed red and Hermione guessed she had fallen victim to the spiked punch too. "You're drunk," she tutted.
"Maybe a bit tipsy, but I can still think clearly," Lily sheepishly said. "I'm still a Prefect after all. We don't want anything to get out of control, yeah? So, did you just arrive? Welcome to the Gryffindor Common Room! Blimey, honestly, it isn't this rowdy most of the time but you know what they say about Gryffindors throwing a party, eh?"
Hermione snorted in bemusement. A tipsy Lily was more talkative than usual and Hermione bet that Lily's mouth would be like a motorboat once she was stupidly drunk.
Lily pulled her around, introducing her to different Gryffindors, fondly calling her the brightest witch of her age and her beloved best friend. Hermione was able to meet new people she had never interacted with before, surprised that they knew her even though she didn't know them. "Your reputation precedes you," Regulus had once said, and perhaps he wasn't embellishing at all.
Although the Gryffindors were lovely and welcoming, Hermione was getting overwhelmed by the new people she'd met and the rowdiness all together. She had long ditched her school robe, now slung over her arm, and she'd rolled her sleeves up to her elbow. She eyed Lily's comfortable Muggle clothes – modest plaid skirt and a tank top – and once again wished she'd at least gone back to her dormitory to change out of her stuffy school uniform.
"HERMIONE!"
She heard her name being called amidst the noisy crowd for the second time that night. She craned her neck to search for the source of the voice, and saw her brother.
Sheepish desperation briefly appeared on her face, discreetly tilting her head towards her overexcited best friend. Peter thankfully understood her plea for help as he started meandering through the crowd. By the time he reached her, his eyes were laughing at her expense.
"Lils, mind if I steal my sister for a while?" Peter asked.
"—and Petunia's stupid fiancé suddenly got up from his chair— oh, what? Hi, Peter. Yeah, sure, sure," Lily distractedly said as she looked back at Marlene and Mary, recounting another disastrous encounter she'd had with Petunia and Vernon Dursley that Hermione had heard for the umpteenth time. Judging from the looks on the other girls' faces, they had heard that story before too, but were just indulging the redhead.
"Thanks," Hermione whispered once they were out of earshot from Lily. "I love Lily to the moon but she's just so… so vivacious. I can't keep up with her relentless energy."
Her older brother chuckled and slung an arm over her shoulders, steering her towards someplace she didn't know. "That's Lily Evans for you," he said with a wide smile on his face. He then looked down at her out of the corner of his eyes. "I didn't know you'd drop by."
"Lily invited me," she answered. "And I got curious about how Gryffindors throw a party."
"How do Ravenclaws throw a party?" Peter asked, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Passing around book reviews and exchanging brand new quills?"
"Very funny, berk," she said with a flourished eye roll. "Definitely less rule-breaking, though."
Peter snorted and looked at her like she was barmy. "Hermione, really, the greatest pranksters Hogwarts has ever seen are currently Gryffindors," he pointed out. "Of course it wouldn't be a magnificent party if we stuck to the rules."
"Of course," she echoed with a small smirk on her face.
Her brother finally brought her towards the squashy couches near the roaring fire. The place was scarce of other partygoers, except for three wizards who were bent over a game of Wizard's chess.
"Whiskers!" Sirius exclaimed, who was the first one to see her. "You're here."
"Lily invited me," she said, chuckling under her breath when Sirius made a huge show of toppling towards her to throw his arms around her for a mighty hug. Sirius Black was definitely drunk, but he was a handsome drunk and she finally realised he might be the one Marlene McKinnon kept on distractedly glancing at while Lily chattered on endlessly.
"You shouldn't have come," Remus said with an exasperated sigh. "If you wanted to get out alive."
"Nonsense, Moony," Sirius slurred, batting him away. "Don't listen to him, kitten. He's just cranky because the full moon's about to come."
The irate werewolf glared back at Sirius. "Right, of course, announce to the whole world I'm a bloody fucking werewolf," he growled.
Hermione's eyes widened as she looked at Remus, a tad nervous that somebody had heard his casual confession of his affliction. But those who were near them were either too inebriated to care or were too busy gyrating their hips to the ridiculous music.
"Sorry about that," Remus said, his cheeks reddening a bit as he saw Hermione's eyes. "It's been a tiring day."
The brunette gave him an understanding smile and fished out two boxes of Chocolate Frogs from her skirt pocket. "Endorphins," she said, throwing them towards his waiting hands. "I somehow got a huge supply from some idiot so I thought I should share them."
Said idiot had grown quiet ever since Hermione had arrived, his hazel eyes only snapping towards her when she commented on her supply of Chocolate Frogs.
Hermione congratulated herself for staying composed as her blue eyes connected with James. He was already out of his Gryffindor Quidditch robes, which was a relief, because Merlin Almighty, Hermione had felt strange things when she saw him on that broomstick looking so… so…
'Shut up, Hermione,' she told herself, sighing internally because her hopes of getting over her ridiculous crush for the Gryffindor still hadn't been realised.
"All right, Pettigrew?" James hesitantly asked, his right hand running through his windswept hair.
Her eyes softened, noting his nervousness. She still had no idea what made him blow up in the library yesterday, but he looked genuinely remorseful so she couldn't really stay mad anymore. "Yeah," she said, a small smile growing on her face. "Good game, though. Congratulations."
The smile he gave her was blinding. "Yeah?" he asked, puffing out his chest like the arrogant toerag he was. "It wasn't one of my best performances but I still was amazing."
Hermione sighed. "It's too crowded in this common room already to accommodate your huge ego, James," she said with a frown.
He boisterously laughed, his hazel eyes glinting under the showering red and gold ceiling. He looked so relieved that he was forgiven for being a berk that Hermione couldn't stop herself from smiling at him in return.
Peter sat Hermione beside him and they contentedly watched as the other three Gryffindors continued their game of Wizard's Chess. Sirius and James kept on drinking the spiked punch, steadily growing rowdier and rowdier.
"It's a full moon tomorrow," Hermione pointed out under her breath. "Shouldn't you be resting or something?"
"We plan on asking for some of your Sobering Potion, actually," Peter said with a sheepish smile.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "I knew the punch would be spiked so I did bring some," she said.
"You're a life-saver, Whiskers, honest," Sirius said with a lopsided grin.
Remus was grumbling something under his breath and Hermione absentmindedly fished two more Chocolate Frogs inside her pocket and threw them towards the cranky werewolf. He immediately devoured the sweets and marginally calmed down, but still looked a tad annoyed at Sirius.
"How much are you hiding in your pockets?" James asked with wide eyes.
"Enough," she said dismissively. "Anyway, I want to join you in the Shrieking Shack tomorrow."
The four boys froze on their seats, before hesitantly looking at the resolute brunette. "It's going to be dangerous," Sirius deliberately said, his grey eyes glassy as they worriedly latched onto her form.
"The last time you were in the Shrieking Shack, things almost didn't end well," James added with a stubborn frown.
"It's best if you just stayed here like a good little sister," Peter said with a reverent nod. "Study yourself throughout the night if you must."
Hermione lightly scowled and looked at Remus, who had grown quiet after her declaration. "I'm already an" – she briefly glanced around and ducked her head – "Animagus, so it won't be dangerous for me at all. Besides, I haven't exercised my transformation since the start of the school year. This is a good opportunity to perfect it."
"Fine," Remus said with a disgruntled sigh.
"Remus!" Peter and James exclaimed at the same time, looking betrayed.
Sirius, on the other hand, snorted. "Once she gets that look on her face, no one's going to stop her," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching.
"I'll be an Animagus anyway," she pressed on. "Remus will not hurt me."
"You don't know that," Peter protested. His cheeks reddened when he realised what he had said and apologetically looked at his best friend. "No offence, Moony."
Remus merely shrugged and opened another Chocolate Frog. "Just get away as fast as you can if things start to get disastrous," the werewolf casually said in between bites.
Hermione smiled. "I can do that."
December 14, 1976
They were waiting for her near the great oak doors of the castle. Hermione quirked an eyebrow at their all-black attire but didn't voice out her observation. Her eyes swept towards the werewolf; Remus already looked sickly and a glance overhead showed that the moon would be fully visible soon.
"Here," James said, extending a familiar cloak.
Hermione's eyes widened at the Invisibility Cloak, reverently grasping it in her hands. It looked the same, like it was still brand new. Hermione was always curious as to why Harry's Invisibility Cloak still functioned perfectly despite being used consistently over the years. Harry told her he wasn't entirely sure either, but Dumbledore had once offered he came from a long line of inventors.
"Dumbledore knows about us breaking curfew, but not you," James explained, mistaking her silence for curiosity. "Honestly, it was always easiest for us to get away from Filch when there was a full moon."
"Come on," Sirius murmured, worriedly staring at the night sky. "We have to get there before the transformation."
Hermione hastily threw the cloak over her body and trailed behind Peter. She was feeling irrationally nervous, and she knew her brother could feel it. Peter kept close to her along the journey. Hermione found it difficult to keep up with the four, unbelievably tall adolescent boys and she had to hastily jog behind them.
James deftly ducked through the dancing branches of the Whomping Willow to press the knot on the bark. Once the tree had stilled, he and Sirius tightly gripped Remus's arms and hastily slid inside.
"Come on," Peter whispered, allowing her to pass through first. Once she was inside the tunnel, Hermione removed the cloak and blindly followed behind the other three.
The ground floor of the Shrieking Shack was tidier this time, but Hermione had no time to observe more as James and Sirius hastily hauled Remus up the stairs. Remus was already contorting strangely, low groans of pain escaping from his mouth. Hermione unthinkably followed, but Peter held her hand to stop her.
"You don't want to see his transformation," he said with a shake of his head.
"But—"
"I know that Remus doesn't want you to see him transform either, Hermione," he continued with a grave stare. "Just stay here. Sirius and James can handle him."
The brunette bit her bottom lip before slightly nodding her head. Her hold on his hand tightened and they waited for Remus's complete transformation. After a moment, Remus began howling loudly, and she could hear muffled curses which came from the other two.
Her eyes prickled with unshed tears when Remus's howls of pain reverberated through the walls of the Shrieking Shack. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see that even Peter was pale from the horrifying sounds. They had been accompanying Remus during his transformations for years already, but it was plain to see that it didn't make it less difficult to witness and hear him transform.
"We should transform now," Peter said, as Remus's howls grew louder and more incessant. "It'll be better if Remus's werewolf form cannot catch a whiff of human scent. It will be easier for him."
Hermione firmly nodded her head and pulled out her wand. Peter instantly changed into his rat form and scuttled around Hermione's feet. She knew it was possible to change wandless, but her skills still weren't up to par with the Marauders yet. She had practised a little before, but she still hadn't mastered wandless transformation.
The witch then tightly gripped her wand and closed her eyes, vividly imaging her Animagus form. An Abyssinian cat with honey-coloured fur and bright, blue eyes appeared in her mind's eye. Hermione fought a shiver when she could feel her clothes shifting, melting within her skin that had started to grow fur. She could feel herself shrinking in size and when the feeling had gone, she opened her eyes. It took her a minute to adapt to her sudden change in vision, now being able to observe the room with a broader visual range. Peter instantly curled against Hermione's furry abdomen and they waited for Remus's transformation to become complete.
A few minutes passed when loud hooves echoed on the stairs. Both Hermione and Peter stood on their paws as James in his stag form trudged towards them. Hermione realised that James's Animagus form was really huge; the end of his antlers scraped the wooden ceiling and he had to duck his head down a couple of times just to avoid hitting the low hanging lamps.
James stood up to his fullest height and stopped right in front of Hermione and Peter. His hazel eyes briefly met hers, before he turned his head back towards the stairs.
Sirius in his dog form soon came jumping down from the stairs, incessantly barking as if he was calling someone to play. Another set of footsteps from upstairs soon reached Hermione's pointy ears and she held her breath, watching with keen eyes as Remus in his werewolf form came tumbling forwards.
Briefly, the memory of her under his mercy flashed before her eyes and she involuntary shivered. Peter sensed her discomfort, for he pressed all of himself against her just to give her some semblance of support.
Remus's golden eyes swept in their direction. James shifted slightly so that he could fully cover both Hermione and Peter from Remus's gaze, but the werewolf was already distracted by Sirius's constant barking. The huge dog then bounded towards the tunnel, the werewolf not too far behind.
Once their yipping had grown softer and farther away, James canted his head towards the tunnel. Peter immediately skittered towards the tunnel, his small build giving him the advantage of speed. Hermione stood up on her paws once more and tested her limbs, tentatively slinking towards the tunnel.
She meowed in surprise when she was suddenly nudged forward. She glanced at the humongous stag behind her and hissed her displeasure, but James only expelled a weird sound that strangely sounded like a laugh. Hermione immediately bounded away and emerged out of the tunnel.
Peter was waiting for her to arrive. He lifted his tiny paw and gestured her down. Hermione wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but she followed him nonetheless. Peter instantly climbed onto her head and settled on her shoulder.
Amused, she meowed once more and lifted herself. They waited for James to emerge out, and Hermione could hear more scrapings and annoyed huffs. By the time James had emerged, he was disgruntled and a bit dishevelled. The tunnel was impossibly narrow, after all, and James's Animagus demanded a huge space. Merlin, he was really enormous.
James then soon galloped towards the Forbidden Forest and Hermione, with Peter, immediately followed him. She was pleased that her Animagus form was fast and lithe. Despite his longer legs, Hermione was able to keep up with James.
They could soon hear playful yelps and howls, so they followed those sounds. They arrived at a clearing and Hermione was amused to see that Remus was chasing Sirius around, howling loudly as if he was having fun. It had unnerved her a bit, because all she had ever experienced with a werewolf was terror, and to see one having fun was a strange sight.
The stag then ran towards the playing duo and joined in the fun. Hermione contented herself by curling near a huge boulder, knowing they would undoubtedly trample her if she joined in. Peter, having the same thought, jumped down from her shoulders and instead sat down on the dewy grass.
They stayed there for quite some time. Hermione had actually dozed off a few times, jerking awake every time a loud bark or howl came from the other three. Remus didn't even glance in their direction, too busy chasing his two other best friends.
Perhaps, a few hours had passed when she was suddenly prodded awake by a wet muzzle. She meowed in displeasure and lightly glared into Sirius's grey eyes, his mouth stretched frightfully into a huge smile, his pointy teeth peeking underneath.
Hermione then blearily blinked her eyes and looked heavenward, noting the beginnings of a sunrise. She glanced at the other two and saw that Remus was once again back in his human form and was slumped on top of James's back.
They journeyed back to the Shrieking Shack, this time less urgent and lazier. Peter kept on falling asleep on her back and they had to stop countless times just to stop him from careening downward.
They all followed James when he climbed up the stairs. He then deposited the slumbering Remus on the bed and proceeded to transform back to his human form. His hair was sticking up in all directions and his glasses were askew; there were a few leaves stuck in his hair and Hermione's hand itched to reach forward and remove them one by one.
But, she stopped herself and instead looked at Remus. He had fewer fresh scratches and wounds on his face and body today, perhaps because he had been too busy playing around with his best friends to remember his innate need to hunt for humans. Both Sirius and Peter also went back to their human forms and slumped on the bed with Remus. Sirius occupied the other side while Peter curled up at the foot of the bed. They instantly passed out due to exhaustion, prompting Hermione to fondly roll her eyes.
It took her a longer time than them to transform back to her human form, but definitely less than the ten minutes it had taken before. Hermione took that as progress and sleepily grinned at their slumbering forms, already trudging forward and grabbing onto the discarded blankets on the floor. She tucked both Sirius and Remus under one blanket, and covered Peter with another.
There was only one huge gash on Remus's cheek, and she decided to ditch using dittany on it. It was, after all, an expensive healing balm, and she was admittedly feeling guilty for 'borrowing' the balm from Madame Pomfrey's stash. A simple healing charm would do the trick.
Hermione pulled out her wand, murmured a soft spell under her breath, and watched as his wound knitted together until a barely visible scar was left.
Satisfied with her work, Hermione straightened up and allowed a huge yawn to escape. She turned on her heel and was about to leave the Shrieking Shack, but almost yelped in surprise at forgetting that there had been another wizard in the room.
James was still awake, obviously exhausted, but he was sitting on the worn, maroon couch with an unreadable expression on his face. There was something in his hazel eyes that made her heart race, and Hermione forced herself to look away to keep herself sane.
"I'm going to go back to Hogwarts first," she said, explaining her departure. "You should rest for now, James."
"Aren't you going to tuck me in?"
Hermione's eyes widened as they snapped to him in shock. There was challenge in his tired eyes, a teasing smirk on his handsome face, and Hermione felt her breath hitching. "W – what?" she stammered, hating herself for getting immediately flustered.
"Don't you think it's mighty unfair even Sirius got your special treatment?" he innocently asked.
Out of the corner of her eyes, she watched as he haphazardly removed his dragonhide boots and sprawled on the couch. He extended the blanket towards her, though, steadfastly looking at her. "Come on, Whiskers," he said.
"Seriously?" she ground out, rounding on him with clear astonishment in her eyes.
James's hazel eyes didn't falter, but there were suspicious red splotches on his high cheekbones. "Tuck me in," he demanded, with the air of confidence that never left James Potter.
Hermione gaped at him, disbelieving, but James started to vigorously shake the blanket until she had no choice but clutch onto it.
The Gryffindor shifted on the couch until he was comfortable and Hermione uncertainly hovered over him. She was trying her best not to meet his eyes, but James demanded attention and damn it all, she couldn't stop herself.
His hazel eyes seemed darker at such proximity, the brown colour more prominent. The specks of green in his eyes were barely noticeable from a distance, but as she leant closer, she could see them – count how many specks there were, even.
Her bushy hair curtained in front of her face, blessedly hiding her sudden blush, as she gingerly covered him with the blanket. She wanted to convince herself this was all because of her hormones, that her body was acting up every time she was close to an attractive boy. But, it frustrated her so immensely, because she was only like this with James. Sirius was undoubtedly a sight for sore eyes, with his rebellious, shaggy hair and a smile that could even make her stare. Remus was handsome, too, with his golden eyes and a kind smile. But neither evoked such dizzying feelings from Hermione and it was terrifying, so terrifying, that no matter how much she tried to convince herself it would pass, she couldn't stop herself from seeking James out, even when he was miles away from her.
"Blimey, Hermione, your hair is monstrous," he commented with a soft laugh. He lifted his fingers and grasped a few of her curls. "I bet you'd have to finish a tub of my Dad's potion just to tame them all."
"Two whole tubs, actually," she corrected without much thought.
His fingers stilled. "You've used Sleekeazy's before?" he asked, surprised. "When?"
Hermione's eyes widened at her slip and mentally berated herself for being so careless. "Never mind that," she dismissed, instantly pulling away to put some comfortable distance between her and the dizzying boy. "Go to sleep, James."
She hesitantly looked down at him and saw his small, handsome smile. Her heart stuttered at the sight once more and she almost groaned in frustration, wondering why she suddenly found herself in this situation. She had never even thought about James before! He was just her brother's best friend, an arrogant bully who wanted all the attention for himself.
But because of that kiss… that blasted kiss…
Hermione blew a frustrated breath instead and reached down to grab his glasses. She stilled when James suddenly grasped her wrist, his eyes a little wide.
"What are you doing?" he breathed out.
She had tucked Harry to bed countless times before - it had been a ritual for her to remove his glasses and place them on the table beside him. Her hand must have acted automatically due to muscle memory, when she had unconsciously noticed the askew glasses perched on James's nose.
"I was going to remove your glasses," she slowly explained. "I've known quite a few people who have fallen asleep with their glasses on and woken up to find them broken."
"Oh," James merely said.
Hermione uncertainly glanced at his warm hand around her wrist. "Um," she said, her eyes darting meaningfully to his eyes and then to her wrist.
"Right," he said, instantly removing his hand as if it had been burned. A disturbed look appeared in James's eyes and the confidence he exuded a while ago was extinguished.
"May I?" she hesitantly asked. When James merely nodded, she grasped the frame of his glasses and removed them from his face. Her fingers unwittingly brushed against his cheek, noting some growing stubble, and felt herself blushing once more.
Hermione instantly straightened up and took a few steps back just until she could properly breathe. "Go to sleep, James," she repeated in a whisper, placing his glasses on the unit beside the couch.
The Gryffindor made a sound at the back of his throat and didn't meet her eyes.
The brunette bid a hasty goodbye and ran down the stairs embarrassed, cursing herself all the way for being easily swayed by a stupidly handsome boy.
A/N: You want Jealous James? I give you Jealous James ahahahaha
I really can't believe you are all still reading this! I love love love all of your reviews, especially those including your theories. A few are so close to what I've planned, while some offered speculations I've never even thought of before but can actually work if I inserted it in this ridiculously long fic.
But really, thank you so much for still reading this, most especially to my reviewers. I'm sure you're all surprised with my fast update, but you see, I've been working on this fic since April. I actually only have to write 4 more chapters to finish this monstrous fic! As a med student, I think I was so used to being productive and although I welcome the long break, I'm already starting to lose my mind hahaha. I honestly didn't expect to be writing a very long fic since I've started med school! But welp, here I am, ridiculously nervous because I feel like you're expecting so much from this fic already. I hope I don't disappoint huhu.
So yes, I can actually update again tomorrow hahaha. You've all been really kind so I hope my updates brighten your day. Thank you!
With love,
WickedlyAwesomeMe