A/N: Hi, so yes, I actually can afford to update every day :) You've all been really wonderful and your reviews brighten my day! This fic is currently my only joy amidst all the chaos in this world. I hope you're all well!

Thank you so much to my Beta, lozipozivanillabean. She's already editing the chapters of this story's peak and had been freaking out, I think hahaha. Thank you for your effort huhu

Enjoy!

xviii.

you take more than just my sanity

(One Sweet Love by Sara Bareilles)

June 25, 1977

Hermione luxuriously stretched her arms overhead as she stepped out of Hogwarts castle. The warm, summer breeze blew against her flushed cheeks and she allowed herself to finally, finally relax for the first time this school year.

Their last OWL exam had just ended and the fifth years were all in a relieved mood. Blessedly, today was also Hogsmeade Day, so they could immediately celebrate in the said town. Hermione had promised to meet Lily and Sev at the Three Broomsticks to celebrate the end of her exams and truthfully, she had missed them so much. Her last few months had been spent in the library with Regulus and her Ravenclaw study partners; Lily and Sev scarcely accompanied her - for unknown reasons - but Hermione didn't seem to mind. She knew they would have only worried themselves sick about her crazy studying, so she had opted to study with the fifth-year students instead.

Hermione's hand climbed to her neck and massaged the knots away. She briefly scanned the Hogwarts grounds in case she saw a familiar face, but most of the students had already gone to Hogsmeade.

"Pettigrew."

She craned her neck and smiled at Regulus, who had casually sauntered beside her. He'd already changed from his impeccable uniform and had donned casual grey robes that brought out the silver of his eyes. He was still terribly overdressed, but Hermione had never really seen him out of such extravagant clothes. She glanced at her own attire – simple Muggle flare jeans and a white, peasant top – and bit back a smile, knowing how uncomfortable Pureblood casual robes could be. The style in this time was weird, but Hermione couldn't deny how comfortable and flowy everything was. She instantly fell in love with flare jeans, since it allowed her legs to breathe. She could still remember the uncomfortable jeans she had to wear during their hunt for the horcruxes.

"How did you do in your OWLs?" he amicably asked, falling into step with Hermione. His head was tilted towards her, but his eyes were staring straight ahead.

Hermione deftly shrugged. "I can't be too sure," she slowly started, "but I think I did well."

A small smirk appeared on the Slytherin's face. "No doubt you'll get all 'O's," he pointed out.

"You can't possibly know that," she retorted back. Though, she did far better in her Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL this year, so he might actually be right.

"Please, humility doesn't suit you, Pettigrew," Regulus said with a small laugh. "With that huge brain of yours, you should be flaunting it and smothering people with inane facts only you apparently know."

Hermione rolled her eyes but wasn't able to stop the corner of her lips from lifting. "I bet you did well yourself," she replied.

"Hmm, we'll see about that," he said, tightly pursing his lips. He was wearing his usual indifferent mask but Hermione could feel his nervousness regarding the results. "Anyway, are you going to Hogsmeade?"

She nodded her head and started to gather her voluminous hair in one hand. It was sweltering hot and she wished she could at least wear short skirts or even shorts in this timeline. But then again, the fashion was still obstinate in the Wizarding World and she would be most likely be frowned at if she showed too much skin.

Hermione once again threw a glance at Regulus's robes and scrunched her nose. "It's ridiculously hot," she said, now tying her hair into a high ponytail. "Why are you even wearing robes?"

He looked honestly confused by her question. "What is wrong with my robes?" he cautiously asked. Regulus started smoothing it down, trying to remove any invisible creases and lint on his impeccable clothes. "I always wear these kinds of clothes on weekends."

The brunette sighed. "Purebloods wear really stuffy clothes," she grumbled, remembering the funeral dress robes she had to wear to attend Sev's mother's funeral. "You're going to Hogsmeade, too, yeah?"

He gave his head a slight tilt. "Say, Pettigrew," he casually stated, "maybe you'd fancy having a butterbeer with me today?"

Hermione's eyes slightly widened and she looked back at him. Regulus was once again staring straight ahead, but his cheeks had gone splotchy red. "Oh," she started, "well—"

"As just acquaintances," he quickly added, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.

The brunette smiled. "You mean as friends?" she corrected.

"Think whatever you want, Pettigrew," he said, the smirk back on his face. He stood a little taller and squared his shoulders, exuding casual confidence that seemed out-of-place during such a relaxing day. "So, will you do me the honour?"

Hermione awkwardly rubbed her cheek and grimaced. "Sorry," she said. "But I promised I'd spend the day with Lily and Sev. I miss them, too, since I was too swamped with OWLs and I haven't spent much time with them."

"Oh," he breathed out, his shoulders slumping a little with dejection. "I – no matter." He gave her another sideways glance as a small smile he rarely showed to people now pasted on his face. "There are still plenty of Hogsmeade Days in the future."

"Yes," Hermione said with a nod. "Maybe we can go to one next school-year as friends."

"As acquaintances," Regulus corrected, his smile growing.

"Merlin, just say that we're friends like a normal human being," Hermione pointed out with a laugh. "You sound like some Wizengamot judge sitting on a coveted Sacred Twenty-Eight seat."

"If you have forgotten, I am an heir to the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black," he reminded, his smile still on his face. "That comparison of yours isn't too farfetched."

A snort escaped from her mouth. "How could I forget when it's something you've constantly yammered about?" she asked.

Regulus's eyes brightened with amusement. Hermione had never seen him this relaxed before and it was actually quite refreshing to see the usually serious and stuffy Pureblood heir having fun.

The Slytherin accompanied her on the carriage ride towards Hogsmeade and conversed with her about all the random topics under the sun. Along the way, Hermione noticed surprised looks on his fellow Slytherin Housemates when their thestral-drawn carriage passed by them.

"The other Slytherins are staring," Hermione blurted out.

The relaxed expression he had been sporting drew into a dark, serious look. There was a hardness in his grey eyes she'd often seen him wear when he was not in a particularly chatty mood, and would furiously write on his parchment like his life depended on it. "Let them stare," he hissed under his breath. She noted how his hands curled into fists, prompting her to frown.

"Are they giving you a hard time because of me?" she tentatively asked.

Briefly, surprise flitted his eyes before he once again hid behind his mask of indifference. "Don't be ridiculous, Pettigrew," he said. "I wouldn't let anyone step out of line. I am the heir to the Most—"

"—Ancient and Noble House of Black. Yes, yes, I know," she said, her frown deepening when he gave her a quick smirk. "They seemed surprised to see you accompanying me, though. Are you sure they're not giving you a hard time?"

"They wouldn't dare," he scoffed, looking every bit like an arrogant Slytherin Pureblood. "Don't concern yourself over the matters of my House. You're just wasting your time."

Hermione swallowed down her remaining questions and instead silently glanced at the brooding Slytherin beside her. She remembered her Ravenclaw friends pointing out that Regulus couldn't afford to be caught associating with someone other than a Pureblood. She would be lying if she said she hadn't tried to think of a reason as to why he kept on pestering her.

Silence settled between them and Hermione silently wondered if she'd like to continue her friendship with Regulus. She was at first resolute this relationship would be purely based on their mutual desire to do well in their OWLs and Hermione was fine with that at first. But, as she had gotten to spend more time with the Slytherin, she had gotten to know sides of him that made him a tolerable and quite witty companion. He reminded her of Viktor sometimes; gruff and broody from some angles, but who could be sweet and kind if he wanted to. It didn't surprise her anymore when she started considering him as a friend, because he was pleasant company.

As they reached the border of Hogsmeade, Hermione firmly told herself she'd ponder more about her continuing friendship with Regulus Black once they had returned for the next school year.

The Slytherin bid her goodbye and disappeared amongst the crowd. Hermione made a quick stop at Honeydukes and bought Chocolate Frogs for Lily and assorted sweets for Sev. She also grabbed a few toffees for herself and left the sweet shop with less money, but more sweets in hand.

When she entered the Three Broomsticks, she immediately spotted her friends. They were crammed into a booth at the very back of the pub. For a while, she thought they were too closely seated than normal, but brushed that thought away when Lily saw her and broke into a huge smile.

"She's alive!" the redhead happily declared, jumping down from the bench and engulfing Hermione into a bone-crushing hug. "I missed you so much, Hermione. You have no idea."

"I have an inkling," the brunette said, half-gasping and half-chuckling as she pulled Lily's tight arms around her. Her blue eyes landed on a smirking Sev and she smiled. "How have you been, Sev?"

He merely waved his hand dismissively and didn't give her a reply. Instead, his dark eyes were glued on the Honeydukes bag in her hand. "What sweets did you buy?" he asked, trying to look nonchalant.

Lily rolled her eyes and plopped on the chair across from Severus. "Look how he's trying to curb his excitement over new sweets, Hermione," the redhead said with a laugh.

Hermione snorted when Sev's face turned red with embarrassment. "Shut up, Lily," he grumbled.

The brunette slid down on the bench beside the older witch and smiled. "I bought you some Chocolate Frogs, Lily," she said, fishing the said sweets from the bag to pass to the redhead. Then, to Sev, she said, "I bought you as many as humanely possible."

Hermione laughed when Sev's eyes lit up. She grabbed her toffees before passing the whole bag to the excited Slytherin. Severus immediately perused his new sweets and ignored the witches all together.

"How were your OWLs?" Lily then asked. "And don't you dare tell me you're not so sure and we should just wait for your grades, because you and I both know you've done well. Very well, actually. Which is why I don't know why I asked you that stupid question in the first place."

Hermione wound her arms around the vivacious girl. "I missed your incessant chattering, Lils," she sighed, snuggling her head against Lily's neck. "The library was too quiet."

"You were spending an awful lot of time with your Ravenclaw friends," Severus pointed out once the witches had settled back on their seats. "And Regulus Black." The Slytherin grimaced and pinned Hermione with a glare. "Why are you still spending time with him? I told you he's bad news, Hermione."

"He wasn't all bad," she quickly defended. "He was actually a decent study partner. Almost as good as you and Lils."

To her surprise, Sev groaned. "He hangs out with people like Crouch and Rosier," he ground out through gritted teeth. "Those blokes are bad news, too. No, they're terrible news because they dabble with magic that should be deemed illegal in this school."

"How the hell do you know that?" the redhead cried, eyes a little wide.

Severus grew serious. "Hermione, I mean it, stay away from Black," he growled.

Hermione swallowed down the sudden panic that rose from her stomach. In the confines of the library, it was easy to forget Regulus's future. He was tolerable and intelligent, able to pick her brain on topics that interested her. But she knew that after the end of their OWLs, the reality of his future would soon catch up with her. Even before Sev had told her, she initially had every intention of staying away from him. But, after spending so much time with him, of conversing with him, even knowing a part of him that he sometimes reluctantly, unknowingly, showed to her, she knew it would be too damn difficult to look away.

She cursed herself mentally because she always knew it would end up this way. Hermione, no matter what universe or timeline she was in, always cared. Too much, if she was being honest herself. Because if she didn't care too much, then she would have walked away from both Harry and Ron even before danger caught up with them. If she didn't care too much, she would have stayed silent at home, distanced herself from Peter Pettigrew who grew up to be the brother she loved as much as life itself. If she didn't care too much, then she wouldn't be best friends with Lily and Severus and the Marauders and… and James.

Hermione suddenly found herself unable to breathe properly.

"Live a happy life, Hermione," Harry had told her before he died. He told her to live a happy life, no matter where she was brought into, because she deserved it… because he wanted her to. But if living a happy life meant she had to protect those she had come to care about, then, could Hermione really turn a blind eye when things started to become too heavy, too dangerous… too painful?

Perhaps, Hermione was really cursed to be entangled with people who would have a huge role during this war. Their primary intention with brewing the suspicious potion was to run away from it all. What if the universe didn't want Hermione to run away after all? What if, with a new chance at life in a different timeline with a different name and body altogether, meant Hermione could alter the future so it would be devoid of pain and suffering?

"Hermione?" Lily's voice broke through her panicked haze. "Are you all right?"

Her blue eyes focused on the redhead's worried green eyes, comforting herself once more that these were Harry's eyes she was looking at. "Yeah," she breathed out. She glanced at Severus, who looked suddenly worried himself, and forced herself to smile. "Sorry. I'm still exhausted from OWLs." Severus opened his mouth, but Hermione took a sharp intake of breath and pierced him with a glare, "And, you have no right to dictate who I associate myself with. I can take care of myself, Sev."

His hand clenched into a tight fist. "You don't understand," he claimed. "You might get hurt if you continue associating with him."

She knew that, even when she reluctantly agreed to be his study partner for this school year. But, Hermione also knew that there was always a lingering thought in the back of her mind whenever she continued spending time with both Lily and Sev, or when she'd hug Peter tight, or when she'd stare at James Potter's back a little too long.

A wry smile grew on her face. Maybe she was an emotional masochist, trained by a relentless war to endure pain and to continue trudging on.

"Sev, shut up," Lily said, leaning forward to swat his arm reproachfully. "Hermione's obviously tired. Why don't you be a proper gentleman and buy us some drinks, yeah?"

Severus deflated and hesitantly looked at Hermione, knowing his interjections would fall on deaf ears. Hermione gave him an apologetic smile, appreciating that he had at least tried.

"Fine," he gruffly said. "Be right back." He stood up from his seat and walked towards the counter.

"Are you really all right?" Lily asked, touching her elbow for comfort. "Severus is a berk, you know that, but I think he means well."

"I know," Hermione said with a sad smile.

Lily drew her into a hug again and sighed. "I also feel a little uncomfortable with your friendship with Regulus Black, if I'm being honest," she haltingly started. "But, I trust your judgment, Hermione. I know you try to see the good in everybody even though they're hopeless cases. I mean, Merlin, I still don't understand how you can tolerate talking with Potter when he's been an utter toerag for the past few years."

Hermione laughed. "What does that even mean?" she asked.

The redhead sheepishly smiled and pulled away. "I'm not entirely sure," she confessed. "But it's what I started calling Petunia when she kept on calling me a 'freak'."

The Ravenclaw's eyes softened, but Lily merely laughed. "I'm honestly over that already," she said a tad eagerly. "I think the real reason why the three of us have stuck together is because of our mutual dislike for our childhood days."

"Mine wasn't all bad," Hermione said with a soft smile.

"Your mother's lovely," Lily said in agreement. "And at least your brother is Peter. He's the least threatening of the four."

"Too right," the brunette answered with a reverent nod.

While they waited for Severus, the two witches fell into a comfortable conversation revolving around the random things that had happened in the past few days.

While Lily was recounting her disastrous attempt to change Marlene's hair colour, a butterbeer was suddenly slid in front of Hermione. Lily's words died down and both witches looked up, only to see James Potter standing in front of their table.

He looked a bit nervous, but Hermione wasn't entirely sure why. She glanced at the butterbeer in front of her and wondered if James had made a mistake by giving it to her instead.

Frowning, she gripped the neck of the bottle and started to slide it towards Lily, but James suddenly leant forward and gripped the bottle too. Hermione instantly drew her hand back when she felt his finger brush unintentionally against hers.

"It's yours," he said, noting the confusion on her face. "I did promise to treat you to a butterbeer before." James then flashed her a lopsided grin and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick in different directions. "How were your OWLs?"

"They were fine," she slowly said. She looked at Lily in confusion before glancing back at James.

Hermione waited for a sudden burst of love declaration, or even for James to look at Lily, who was sitting right beside her. But he didn't look away and instead focused all of his attention on her. "Are you all right, James?" she slowly asked as her eyebrows knitted in suspicion.

"Why do people keep on asking me that?" James asked in slight exasperation. This only deepened Hermione's frown.

Lily burst into soft chuckles. "I asked him the same question once," she pointed out, a huge grin stretched on her face.

Hermione briefly glanced at Lily, who looked like she wasn't going to scat soon. Her confused blue eyes latched onto the butterbeer once more and she blurted out, "You didn't buy one for Lily?"

James looked surprised. "Err, I didn't," he said, awkwardly rubbing his nape. He tentatively glanced at Lily. "Should I buy you one, too?"

"That wasn't what I meant," Hermione grumbled when Lily slightly shook her head.

"PRONGSIE!"

The three students flinched in surprised at the sudden shout across the busy pub. Some of the people inside paused in their conversation and gaped at the boisterous Sirius Black, who was quickly meandering through the throngs of people, Remus and Peter exasperatedly trailing behind.

"Merlin, do you really have to shout, Sirius?" James asked with a bemused smile.

"Why did you suddenly bolt away like your life depended on it?" Sirius whined, swinging an arm over James's shoulders. "We were in the middle of a prank, honestly."

Instead of answering, James turned a brilliant shade of red and glanced away. Sirius by then had noticed the two witches seated on the booth and threw a meaningful glance at Lily. The Gryffindor redhead glowered in return.

"Whiskers, hi," Sirius greeted, his grey eyes landing on Hermione. "How were your OWLs?"

"She did great, I'm sure," Peter piped in before Hermione could answer. "I bet she got all 'O's in her OWLs."

"You can't know that for sure," she interjected.

Her brother cocked a challenging eyebrow. "A yearlong supply of toffees if you actually did," he said.

Hermione grinned, unable to resist the temptation of her favourite sweets. "Deal," she said.

"And if she doesn't?" Remus asked.

The Pettigrew siblings shared a look. "She'll be the one to wash the dishes for the rest of our lives while we're still living together under the same house," Peter suggested.

"Figures, you'd want something like that," Hermione pointed out with a laugh. "Fine."

It was at that moment Severus chose to come back, a hovering tray with three bottles of butterbeer and chips behind him.

Hermione still found it mildly amusing how the five boys would simultaneously grimace at the sight of each other. But, surprisingly, their public banters had been reduced to merely silently glaring at each other. No wands were brandished, no goadings, nothing. Hermione was just glad that after the whole werewolf debacle, the Marauders did actually stop going out of their way to torment her best friend.

"We've got to go, Jamesy-boy," Sirius said, clutching onto James's arm to pull him away from the group. "We still have a prank to do, remember?"

"Don't do anything stupid," Hermione warned with a frown.

The identical, scheming grins on their faces prompted her to roll her eyes. "Never mind," she added. "I'm sure you already did."

"You know us very well," James teased, his hazel eyes glinting with trouble only he and his friends could actually pull off.

The four Marauders bid their goodbyes and Hermione waited for James to blurt out some parting love declaration for Lily. But still, James only gave Lily a small smile and left with his friends.

"You already bought a butterbeer," Sev snapped, annoyed.

"No, James gave it to me."

This surprised the Slytherin. "For you?" he asked, surprise in his voice. His eyes scanned the table briefly before glancing at Lily. "And none for you?"

The redhead shook her head.

Now, Severus looked very confused. "Is something wrong with Potter?"

Both witches burst into soft giggles. "We've been asking the same question, honestly," Hermione pointed out.

"Come to think of it, he's been really different since… I dunno, maybe Valentine's Day," Lily continued as Sev took a seat beside her. "The last time I had a conversation with him was that day, and he was out-of-it, like he was deeply disturbed by something I didn't know. I thought at first he was just too troubled to be his usual toerag self, but since then…" Lily lightly drummed her fingers on the wooden table. "He hasn't gone out of his way to pull off those ridiculous and obnoxious plans of his to woo me."

"It's a relief, if you ask me," Sev offered, prompting Lily to snort and vigorously nod her head to concur.

Hermione frowned in confusion and glanced at the butterbeer James had bought for her.

June 30, 1977

Hermione immediately flew into Anya's waiting arms when they spotted her at King's Cross.

"Tough year?" her mother warmly asked as she dropped a kiss on her bushy hair.

"She almost killed herself by studying too much, Mum," Peter snitched, quickly clambering towards the mother-daughter pair whilst pulling both of their trunks.

Anya sighed and lightly glared at her daughter. "No studying this summer," her mother announced. Hermione's eyes widened in disbelief, but Anya was resolute. "I can't believe I'm banning studying, but you need to rest, sweetheart. Invite your best friends over, get out of the house, just no studying."

Hermione glowered at her sniggering brother. "Fine," she petulantly said. "I wasn't even planning to study at all, besides accomplishing my summer homework." She paused and frowned. "I can do that, though, right?"

Her mother pretended to think, the corner of her lips twitching. "Fine," she finally agreed.

Peter laughed and started scanning the train station in search of a familiar silver sedan. "Richard didn't come with you, Mum?" he asked with a frown.

To Hermione's surprise, Anya's cheeks dusted with pink. "Ah – well – I broke up with him," she casually said, unable to meet their eyes.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why?" her brother spluttered out, immediately wounding his arms around his mother. "You okay, Mum?"

Anya lightly laughed and waved her hand dismissively. "It wasn't working," she said with a grin. Hermione noted her mother wasn't that much affected by the end of her relationship, so that was a relief. "Besides, I knew you both didn't like him very much."

"That's not true," Hermione quickly protested, positively sure her cheeks had gained more colour too.

Their mother gave them a meaningful glance. "He was terribly dull," she flippantly said. "I kept on catching you stifling a yawn, Hermione."

"I wasn't trying to be obvious, I swear," the brunette said with a sheepish smile. "But, you're really okay, Mum?"

Anya expelled a deep sigh. "I think I'm over dating anyway," she said with a laugh. "I've wanted to do a lot of different things - ever since you both started Hogwarts. Maybe this is the time to do it, you know, since we are in the midst of terrible times."

Her face clouded with worry and Hermione remembered the news splattered on the latest issue of the Daily Prophet today. The attacks had increased and there were more deaths with unknown causes. Voldemort was growing restless, was all she could conclude.

"Besides," Anya said, pasting back the smile on her face, "I have two brilliant children to take care of. I don't need another person to take under my wing."

Hermione hugged her mother again and gave her a squeeze. "We want you to be happy, too, Mum," she said. Beside her, Peter nodded his head to concur.

Anya's eyes looked slightly shinier. "You both already make me so happy," she said with a sigh. Hermione smiled against her mother's shoulder and gave her another squeeze. "Now, come on. I've prepared a scrumptious meal for tonight."

Anya held both of their hands and directed them towards the Apparation spot. With a soft pop, the Pettigrew family went home.

A/N: And that wraps up Hermione's fifth year! I just needed a chapter to conclude her eventful fifth year hehe.

Buckle up, lads, because sixth year is a mess hahaha. Next chapter will be half-summer, half-start of sixth year so, including that, Hermione's sixth year will span 11 chapters.

I really appreciate all your comments. I always get fuzzy feelings every time I get a review. I love you all. That's it for now! See y'all tomorrow :)

With love,
WickedlyAwesomeMe

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