A/N: Thank you for all the love!

Special thanks to my Beta, lozipozivanillabean. Enjoy!

xxii.

you can make me wait forever

(1000 Times by Sara Bareilles)

September 30, 1977

James was blessedly, suspiciously, normal the following days after the disastrous Hogsmeade trip.

Hermione couldn't sleep all throughout the night due to a mixture of panic and grief and other feelings she could not understand. She worried herself sick too and locked herself inside the Ravenclaw Tower for the whole day just to avoid James, and any of her friends, really.

Monday came too soon and Hermione had no choice but to haul her arse out of her hiding place. She skipped breakfast that day, only popping a few toffees in her mouth to give her a bit of sugar, and breezed through her morning lessons.

By the time lunch time came, Hermione's stomach was already protesting. She knew she couldn't skip it this time, knowing that this would arise suspicion from her best friends and even Peter.

She kept her head down all throughout the journey, mechanically plopping down on a vacant seat in the Ravenclaw table, and started piling food on her plate. Lily and Sev immediately arrived, the former voicing her questions on Hermione's whereabouts since yesterday.

"I wasn't feeling well yesterday," she said, which technically wasn't a lie.

Lily grew worried and placed the back of her hand against her forehead. "You're not sick," she pointed out matter-of-factly.

Hermione lightly batted her hand away. "I feel better now," she insisted.

Sev peered closer at her face and frowned. "Have you been sleeping properly?" he asked, also growing a tad concerned. "Merlin, have you been staying up all night just to study again, Pettigrew? It isn't your NEWTs year and blimey, it's only been a month since we came back."

"I'm fine," she cried in exhaustion. "Can I please eat in peace now?"

She ignored the bemused glance Lily and Sev shared and focused on filling her stomach. She resolutely stopped herself from glancing at the Gryffindor table, knowing full well that James was there. She'd heard his voice – laughing over something her brother had said – and he was boisterous and obnoxious like he typically was.

Thankfully, she steered clear of him that day too, and the next, and the day after that. The initial panic James's confession had brought to her had simmered down into an uncomfortable itch in her brain. There were times when she'd have to tamper it down to keep her emotions at bay, but once she was alone with her thoughts, they would all burst free and she'd be panicky once more.

The bigger problem, she admitted, was perhaps her heart. To know that her feelings were reciprocated made her heart flutter pleasantly inside her chest. Then her brain would loudly tell her to stop whatever foolishness she was doing and her heart would gently goad her to take a peek, to see if he was all right, to wonder if he would really wait for her answer.

Now, Hermione was usually logical. Her rational side trumped whatever illogical feeling she sometimes had. This was an important part of her that had kept her and her friends alive after all. Harry had often told her that if it weren't for her brains, he'd be dead by their first year.

But, Hermione was also wholehearted. When she felt things, she felt it deeply and strongly. This was the side of her that had cried her eyes out in the girls' bathroom when she'd overheard two buffoons claiming she was annoying. Or the side of her who was swayed by Ron, blue eyes, freckles, humour and all. This was also the side who steadfastly stayed by Harry Potter, after all the years of hardships and pain, because she loved him like he was her own brother.

And so, this whole James Potter thing was a conundrum. The logical side of her kept on placing down facts as to why this was bad news. Unsurprisingly, the fact that Harry Potter would not exist was at the very forefront.

The wholehearted side whispered that she just wanted to be happy.

This went on for days and Hermione knew crossing paths with James was inevitable.

The Marauders were bloody serious with their studies this year because of their NEWTs. Peter was a nervous wreck, knowing that more than the OWLs, this year could make or break his dream of becoming an Auror. As usual, Remus was the less rigid among the four when studying, because he wasn't planning on becoming an Auror anyway. Sirius was – well – Sirius and then, there was James.

When she spied the group sauntering inside the library, silently horsing around until Remus had to shush them, Hermione's back had snapped ramrod straight. Her jaw was set, her eyes wide and wild, and she had been mercilessly worrying her bottom lip. James brought up the rear of the group, too busy scanning a parchment in his hands.

Peter greeted her with a hug and slid down on the seat beside her. Remus gave her a kind smile while Sirius winked. "Miss us, Whiskers?" the smug wizard asked.

Hermione merely rolled her eyes and wordlessly glanced down at her textbook once more. She tried to start reading and to ignore the wizards all together, but much to her horror, James chose to sit on the chair across from her.

"All right, Hermione?"

She stiffened at his address, unsure how to answer his question. Hermione slowly lifted her eyes towards him and tried to decipher what he was feeling. James was coolly look at her, his mesmerising eyes never betraying any emotion besides mild amusement.

"Yes," she breathed out, realising her silence had stretched too long.

James lightly smiled at her and went back to scanning his parchment.

Hermione suspiciously stared at him, waiting for another quip that would broach their conversation they'd had back at Hogsmeade, but James started to pull out his things from his bag to study.

The brunette reluctantly went back to her textbook and blocked any external distractions. Good thing this was an Arithmancy textbook; Hermione soon found herself lost in the sea of words.

She jotted down notes on her parchment, her fingers furiously gripping the stem of the quill to quickly put her thoughts into words. Such was her grip that the stem of her eagle quill broke in two. "Damn it," she hissed, blindly rummaging inside her backpack in search of a spare quill.

A handsome black quill with golden strands was then pushed towards her. Hermione instantly recognised it as the turkey quill James had bought during Hogsmeade weekend.

Blinking in surprise, her blue eyes landed on James. He was smiling at her in amusement, his hazel eyes trained intently on her broken quill. "Well, somebody once told me turkey quills are the finest ones," he said, gesturing at the quill in front of her.

His hazel eyes then shifted to her face and Hermione felt a blush creeping up from her chest.

"Thanks," she murmured, hastily glancing down at her parchment and grabbing onto the turkey quill. It was soft and light to touch, and Hermione was almost hesitant to use it. She was aware how tightly she gripped her quills, and this one in her hand had cost a fortune!

"They're durable," James whispered, bemused with how she deliberately scratched on her parchment. "It won't break easy. Promise."

Hermione wordlessly nodded and focused once more on her homework.

A few hours passed by without much of a hitch. The next time Hermione tore her gaze away from her parchment was when Peter touched her elbow. Hermione blearily lifted her eyes and glanced at the Marauders, who were all standing already.

"We need to leave first, Hermione," her brother said.

Hermione frowned and glanced at her wristwatch, noting they still had at least two hours before curfew. "Already?" she asked.

"Unlike some, we have other important matters to do, Whiskers," Sirius teased.

She narrowed her eyes, noting the identical excited grins on their faces. When her eyes unwittingly swept on James's, she was surprised to see that he was staring at her, hazel eyes glinting mischievously under the light. Instantly, she remembered their little adventure back at Zonko's, an unending supply of Dungbombs and Frog-Spawn Soap purchased by the Head Boy himself.

"What are you planning to do?" she asked suspiciously.

"No one's going to get hurt," James said with a blinding grin. "Marauder's honour."

Peter snickered under his breath and raised his right hand in mock seriousness. "Marauder's honour," he echoed.

Hermione exasperatedly glanced at Remus. "You're the most sensible of the lot, Remus," she said. "Don't let them do anything stupid."

The werewolf apologetically smiled at Hermione. "This is too good an opportunity to pass, Hermione," he claimed. "I'm sorry."

The brunette softly groaned. "Fine, do whatever you want," she snarled. "If you get expelled, don't expect me to come to your aid."

"Aww, come now, Whiskers, no one's getting expelled," Sirius said with a soft bark of laughter. "Dumbledore loves us too much to let us go without graduating."

Hermione grimaced. That was entirely true. They'd been obnoxious during the previous years and Hermione was honestly expecting graver punishments than mere detentions and the deduction of House points. But she sometimes saw the twinkling delight in the Headmaster's eyes every time the Marauders pulled off an elaborate prank.

"Don't study too much," were Peter's parting words, throwing his arm over her shoulders for a one-armed hug.

Remus and Sirius also bid their goodbyes and followed the sandy-haired boy. Hermione lightly smiled at James for her goodbye and glanced down at her parchment.

Two toffee candies were suddenly slid in front of her. Surprised, she snapped her eyes back up, but the Head Boy was already catching up with his friends, sniggering slightly under his breath as they discussed their prank for that night.

Hermione gingerly grabbed one toffee and unwrapped it, suppressing a mighty groan before she popping it inside her mouth.

October 1, 1977

James was driving her mad.

Albeit treating her like normal, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, he'd suddenly do things – minuscule things – that would put her mind and heart into a frenzy. Hermione was positively sure he was doing all of these things purposively, with the intent of tormenting her until she would break and finally, finally agree to his plea of going out with him more.

He'd do things out of the blue, like how he'd secretly shove toffees into her robe pockets when he thought she wasn't looking, or how he'd sling her bag over his shoulders when the Marauders escorted her back to the Ravenclaw Tower. Sometimes, he'd breach her personal space even for a just a few seconds, his chest pressed so close to her back, like the one time she had been trying to reach for a book on a high shelf and he'd come to the rescue. There were also moments when his hand would linger closely on her lower back when they'd meander through a crowded corridor.

She knew they were little things, but they always made her heart beat crazily inside her ribcage.

There were times when she had almost snapped from all of his sweet gestures, but then, she'd seek out Lily, stare at her eyes a little too long, and then calm herself down. 'Harry must live,' she had always firmly told herself when James would send her a handsome smile that made her head spin. 'Harry must live.'

Hermione constantly trailed behind Lily, and by extension Sev, after she discovered that staring at Harry's eyes made her resolute once more. Lily was already noticing her strange behaviour, asking her what was wrong, but Hermione would merely shake her head and smile at her apologetically.

Currently, she was studying with both Lily and Sev and thankfully, there was no Marauder in sight. Hermione was glad Peter and his friends were taking their studies seriously this year, but she did want to have some sanity break from James and his mesmerising eyes.

"Professor Slughorn's driving you insane," Lily hissed under her breath, glaring daggers at the parchment Severus was currently poring himself over.

Hermione snapped out of her thoughts about James Potter and glanced over Sev's notes. It was no doubt another set of instructions for brewing a potion that would cost him his meals and his sleep.

"This isn't too bad," Sev defended with a scowl.

"It won't be if you don't become a zombie whilst brewing that potion," Hermione lightly added. Sev glanced at her in confusion, prompting her to laugh. "An inferi, then."

He took offense, his face grimacing at being compared with the dead. "I don't look like an inferi when I'm doing a potions project!" he snarled in indignation.

"Yes, you are, sourpuss," Lily hissed once more, still glaring daggers at the potions instructions.

Sev snorted and started cramming his things inside his bag. "I have to go," he announced. "Slughorn asked to meet me tonight to discuss the potions project and more."

"What does the 'and more' mean?" Hermione asked, quirking her eyebrow in curiosity.

"It means, Slughorn wants to talk about Sev becoming a Potions professor once he graduates, and replacing him," Lily said, a suspiciously proud smile stretching on her face.

Both of Hermione's eyebrows flew up to her hairline. "Really?" she asked.

Sev rolled his eyes, but his cheeks were dusted with pink. "Nothing's sure yet," he snapped, crankily scowling at the redhead. "Besides, I was thinking about becoming a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. I'm actually quite good at that subject too."

Hermione remembered her sixth year when Snape took over the vacant position of DADA. Although he followed Dolores Umbridge – who was, hands down, the worst of them all – Hermione couldn't deny that he also taught that subject decently.

Sev slung the strap of his bag over his shoulders and gave Hermione a small smile in goodbye. When he turned to Lily, he unconsciously bent down. The redhead was already tilting her head, halfway meeting him in the middle, just so he could press a kiss on her lips. "Goodbye," he whispered, his features softening a bit as he gazed down fondly at the pretty redhead. Lily's pink lips stretched into a small smile, her cheeks matching her red hair.

But then, the two seventh years froze, realising that Hermione was sitting across from them. When they looked at her simultaneously, Hermione's jaw was open and her blue eyes had popped out from their sockets. Unfiltered shock painted her pale face.

"Err… surprise," Lily weakly said, her cheeks turning more furiously red. Even Sev looked embarrassed at being caught.

Her voice broke Hermione out of her shocked reverie. "What in Merlin's name—" Her eyes darted to and from the Gryffindor and Slytherin. "How the— I mean, since when?" Her face crumpled imploringly. "Why didn't I know about this?!"

"Calm down, Pettigrew," Sev said with an exhausted sigh, plopping back down on his seat once more. "It isn't even that long when we started to—" He made a series of weird hand gestures between him and Lily, much to the latter's amusement.

"We meant to tell you, Hermione," Lily appeased with an apologetic smile. "After we spent time at your home last summer, things just started to… escalate." The identical blushes on their faces made Hermione wonder as to what extent the relationship had escalated to. "We wanted to tell you on the train ride here, but you were distracted after your encounter with Regulus Black."

Hermione frowned, remembering the train incident. "But it's been a month," Hermione weakly protested.

"Actually, you've been distracted most of the time," Sev pointed out with a firm frown. "More so these past few days."

She looked away from them. "I just have a lot of things on my mind," she murmured under her breath.

Her hand was suddenly enclosed in Lily's warm ones. "What is really wrong, Hermione?" the redhead earnestly asked, her green eyes melting into worry that Hermione had grown accustomed to.

"Never mind about me," she quickly dismissed. "What about you?" Her eyes comically widened when she glanced back at Lily. "When you said you'd been seeing someone, you meant Sev?"

Lily shyly smiled and slowly nodded her head. "I was planning to tell you that day, too," she said, expelling a soft laugh. "But Potter and his posse suddenly came so I lost my chance." She gave Hermione's hand a comforting squeeze. "We didn't really mean to hide it from you, Hermione. We were also a bit worried how, you know, you might feel left out."

Hermione glanced at her best friends incredulously. She'd had the same thoughts when she had started going out with Ron, wondering if Harry would feel left out because they shared a relationship he couldn't participate in. She remembered Harry's face, clear as day, when he playfully whacked Ron's head and engulfed Hermione in a big hug, undoubtedly happy for the progress in their relationship. "Are you kidding me?" she said, echoing Harry's words with a brilliant smile. "I think this is lovely! I love you both very much and you must believe me when I say that I'm very happy for you."

Sev deflated in relief, giving Hermione a tentative smile. Lily beamed brightly and stood up from her chair, only to jog towards Hermione to give her a big hug. "I love you, too, Hermione!" she cried passionately, prompting Sev to roll his eyes and Hermione to chuckle with fondness.

When Lily pulled away and sat on the chair beside Hermione, another thought came into her mind. "But James—"

Sev snorted before she could finish her sentence. "He's another reason why we didn't want the whole school to know about our relationship," he explained. A dark scowl appeared on his face. "Potter's a pain-in-the-arse, and I know he'd incessantly pester us. I'm not even going to be surprised if he starts going out of his way to torment me once again."

"No he won't," Hermione blurted out a little too quickly. When two sets of eyes glanced at her questioningly, Hermione flushed and glanced at the top of the table. "I'm sure he won't. James has… well, he's matured from those kinds of things."

How could she possibly tell them that no pestering would happen because James Potter apparently liked her instead?

Lily touched her elbow to get her attention once more. There was something meaningful in her glance, but Hermione couldn't quite decipher it. "I heard he took you out on Hogsmeade Day," she said as a small smile stretched on her face.

Sev quirked an eyebrow. "Alone?" he asked.

"Alone," the Gryffindor said with a slow nod, her smile turning into a teasing one.

Hermione's cheeks flushed, remembering that awful, awful day once again. "It wasn't that kind of thing you're thinking about, Lily Evans," she hotly exclaimed. Lily merely quirked an eyebrow.

With Lily's reminder of that day, the impact of Lily and Sev's new relationship dawned heavily on Hermione. She had been fighting tooth and nail to keep James at arm's length because she knew he belonged to Lily. But what if Lily didn't want to be with him either?

She remembered the silent moments, observing how her best friends looked at each other, and she knew this wasn't just some ridiculous fancy that would pass.

The panic grew in the pit of her stomach once more as she wildly looked at Lily. "But James—"

Lily cut her off with a soft, pretty laugh. "But James what, Hermione?" she asked, her green eyes dancing with amusement. "I'd never go out with a berk like him, you know. He's so incorrigible and yes, yes, okay I admit he's mellowed down. Blimey, he's even sweet to you! I sometimes wondered what would have happened if he'd showed that side of him to me before. I might have actually gone out with him."

Sev threw her a scathing glare, prompting Lily to smile widely. "But of course, I'm stuck with a sourpuss like him," she said, jutting a thumb in his direction. "I shouldn't really complain."

"Thanks, Lily," he drawled.

The redhead merely smiled and wordlessly reached for his hand. A lump grew in Hermione's throat when she noticed the fond gaze they shared.

She wasn't kidding when she had said she loved both of them, like how she had loved Harry. Hermione had sworn she would stick by their side if the need arose. Seeing that they'd be important figures in this war, she also knew she couldn't turn a blind eye once the future caught up with them.

But Harry…

If Lily and Sev got together, then there was a huge possibility that Harry might not even be born. That thought threw her into a downward spiral of blind panic and grief. The world wouldn't be the same if there was no Harry Potter.

"Hermione?"

The brunette slowly stared back at her best friend, once again with worry in her eyes.

"You okay?" the redhead asked.

Hermione hoped the smile she gave her wasn't too strained. "I'm fine, Lils," she said, drawing the redhead into a huge hug just to hide the conflicting emotions on her face. "I'm really so happy for you both."

She felt Lily smile against her shoulder as she lifted her arms and wound them around her.

Hermione could see how much happiness Lily and Sev were exuding. She knew she couldn't stomach it if she was the reason why they were torn apart.

-ooo-

"Hermione."

"Hmm?"

She heard Lily's soft chuckle as the redhead forced her to lift her chin. "It's almost curfew," the Gryffindor pointed out, her green eyes glinting in amusement.

"Already?" the brunette asked with a frown, glancing at her wristwatch to confirm Lily's words. To her dismay, she only had thirty minutes left. "I'm not yet done with my essay." She smiled when Lily opened her mouth, about to protest. "You go ahead, Lils. I just need to write another paragraph then I'll be good to go."

"Much as I love you endlessly, Hermione, I'm Head Girl," the older witch said. "I might be forced to deduct points from you if you stay out of bed after curfew."

Hermione bit back a smile, thinking of a similar conversation with the Head Boy a week ago. "I'll be mindful of the time," she promised.

Lily's lips turned into a small frown, before she sighed. "All right," she replied. "I can't wait up for you, though. Potter and I need to discuss some Head stuff."

The Head Girl bent down to give her a goodbye hug. "I'll send Potter your love," she whispered with a teasing smile.

Her cheeks flared at her words, an indignant cry escaping from her lips. Lily merely laughed and gave her another squeeze, before letting go and leaving the library.

Hermione deeply frowned, but shook such distractions away, once again returning to her essay.

Contrary to what she had promised her best friend, Hermione did lose track of time. When she realised this, she noted that she only had ten minutes to sprint from the library to Ravenclaw Tower. Slightly cursing under her breath, she waved her wand to pack her things.

The brunette briskly walked out of the library, intent on reaching her dormitory on time. The corridors were already void of students, the shadows her only companion.

As she reached the great staircases, Hermione paused upon spying a familiar, impeccable head of black curls lurking around. Regulus did not seem to notice her presence as his silver eyes swept throughout the corridor, possibly searching for any signs of Filch or the other professors.

All thoughts of reaching her dormitory on time flew out of the window. Hermione's heart thudded nervously, wondering why he was out of bed. Looking positively anxious and on guard too, if she were to describe his facial expression.

Regulus flew down the staircases with amazing speed and Hermione instantly hid behind a suit of armour. She peeked through, watching as the Slytherin purposively walked towards the entrance door of the castle.

Wherever Regulus was going, it didn't seem like he was going to stay in Hogwarts at all.

Hermione was suddenly fuelled by adrenaline and fear, unthinkably darting out of her hiding place and hastily running towards him.

Her footsteps rang loudly through the empty corridors, drawing attention to herself. Regulus's shoulders instantly tensed as he brandished his wand and turned on his heel.

"Pettigrew," he breathed out in surprise, his eyebrows flying towards his hairline.

"Where in Merlin's name are you going?" she harshly asked. She finally caught up with him and steadily held his gaze. Regulus's eyes immediately hardened into icy blocks, a carefully guarded mask sliding over his face.

"None of your business," he quickly dismissed. "What are you doing out of bed? It's already past curfew."

"I lost track of time while I was studying in the library," she explained.

To her surprise, the corner of his lips twitched, undoubtedly amused. "Of course you did," he murmured.

For a moment, he let his guard down and Hermione felt like she was staring back at an old friend. "Where are you going?" she asked, this time letting her worry be known to the Slytherin.

His emotions shifted behind his mask once more as he coolly stared down at her. "None of your business," he echoed through gritted teeth. "Just go back to your dormitory, Pettigrew."

Hermione darted forwards and clutched his arm before he could slip away. "Regulus," she beseeched.

His eyes flared up furiously as he tried to shake her off, but then, the unmistakable voice of Filch rang from the other end of the corridor. Panic flittered on his face and without thinking, Hermione dragged him towards a secret passage.

"Get off me," he protested, but this only made her grip on him tighten.

Filch and his blasted cat were nowhere to be found when they stumbled out into another corridor. It was dimly lit, the flickering fire from the torches casting ominous shadows over them.

"Where were you going?" she tried again. Regulus predictably clenched his jaw and glared at her, already turning on his heel to stomp away.

Desperately, Hermione clenched his left forearm and glanced at him imploringly. "Why are you avoiding me?" she softly asked. His avoidance had genuinely hurt her, because she had treated him as a friend. She also had this inkling that the Slytherin was already carrying a great burden, and Hermione, for the life of her, promised herself she wouldn't stand aside and watch as Regulus's life spiralled out of control.

Her grip on his arm tightened when his face grew thunderous. With wild, furious eyes, he glared down at Hermione and spat, "If you want to live, you have to stay away from me."

She recoiled at his ferocity, her hand slipping back to her side. Regulus was suddenly breathing heavily and his eyes shone with terror and pain and more. He reminded her of another sixteen-year-old Slytherin back when she was Hermione Granger, whose face was gaunt and afraid… so afraid, like he had to do this. Like he had no choice.

Tears prickled her eyes as she lifted her hand again to reach out for him. But Regulus flinched and took a few steps back, the vulnerability he'd shown her before peeking through the cracks of his mask. "Let me help you, Regulus," she whispered. "Please, let me help you. Whatever you are going through, tell me, and I will do whatever I can to help you."

Regulus took a deep, shuddering breath as a wry smile appeared on his face. "No one can help me, Pettigrew," he said.

With a grand flourish, he swivelled around, his black robes billowing behind his back.

Hermione dumbly stared at his back as tears steadily poured from her blue eyes. Based on what had happened a while ago, her belief that he was already Branded was strengthened. With her resolute vow not to step aside and look away anymore, Hermione swore she would take the first step in helping him this time, even if he thought it would all be futile.

A/N: I mean, I'm all for writing fluff and stuff but I need to do something about the plot already ahahaha

That's it for now! Thank you for still reading this.

With love,
WickedlyAwesomeMe

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