Vanessa found Dr Fray and filled him in on what had occurred the night before, he was unhappy but he said that he had to defend his colleague, unfortunately he hadn't updated Mac's notes so Doctor Pann was within his rights to restrain Mac, as horrible as it sounded.
"I want to move Mac tomorrow, I feel him being here is affecting his recovery mentally, but of course that will only happen if you think he's healed enough," Vanessa said, not at all happy to hear the doctor backing his colleague up.
"I don't think that should be a problem, I'll have to get in another set of scans," Dr Fray replied. "I would also like to remove those cuffs; he shouldn't leave with them still on. I've still no idea what the skin underneath is going to be like."
Damn she'd forgot about those. "I'll speak to Mac this afternoon; we'll make sure he's comfortable removing them and if he is can you do it straight away?"
Dr Fray nodded, saying that he'd arrange for the scans to be done after lunch, they would then remove the cuffs before Mac went to bed. If there were no major problems, Mac could leave by tomorrow evening at the latest.
Vanessa left, happy that Dr Fray was on board, she now just needed to talk to the Director, she wanted her help. She wasn't comfortable letting Mac go home just yet, he needed somewhere neutral to recover and she was hoping that Matilda Webber might have something suitable.
"Hello Director Webber thank you for seeing me," Vanessa said, walking into her office.
"Of course, how's Mac?" Matty asked, as Vanessa settled into her chair.
"Not too good I'm afraid," Vanessa wasn't sure how much to give away, she knew that the whole team was like family, and Jack was giving everyone regular updates, so she decided to be honest. "Mac had a bad night; he became violent and had to be sedated and restrained."
Matty sat back shocked, she knew that Riley and Bozer had been to see Mac the day before and said that he seemed to be doing ok, she wondered what had happened. "I see. Where was Jack?"
"I sent him home," Vanessa replied, now wishing that she hadn't, but knowing that it was the right thing to do. "Jack needed a break; he was starting to get frustrated with Mac and I knew that wouldn't end well, we explained everything to Mac. Unfortunately, I realise now that Mac wasn't as ok about it as he said."
Matty nodded, knowing that Mac was good at telling people one thing when he meant another. She would have to speak to Jack later, she'd wished he'd kept her in the loop, she could have sent someone to sit with Mac.
"I'm guessing you came here for a reason?"
"Yes, I need to get Mac out of medical and back to some sort of normality. I don't think he's ready to go home though, too many expectations. I wondered if there was anything you could do to help?"
"Consider it done, I'll have one of our safe houses organised, we don't have too many here in America, but none of them are in use now. Do you have any requirements?" Matty asked, knowing that she'd do whatever she could to help Mac get better.
"It needs to have at least two bedrooms, and no basement. Apart from that, somewhere quiet," Vanessa answered, glad that Matty was on board.
"When would you like to do this by?"
"Ideally tomorrow afternoon, the morning after at the latest."
"That shouldn't be a problem. I can get Bozer to bring a few of Mac's things?"
"That would be a good idea, nothing too overboard, some clothes, books, maybe a few of his belongings he's particularly attached too," Vanessa said, she didn't want to overwhelm Mac, but it would be good for him to have some of his things before he had to go back to his own house permanently.
Glad that she's got everything sorted she went back to Mac's room, wanting to see if he was any better than when she'd left. He was in the shower when she returned, Jack sitting on the bed.
"He's feeling better?" she asked.
"A little, we had a good talk, well I did anyway, he listened," Jack smiled. "He ate all the food I gave him and then dozed off again. I persuaded him to have a shower, told him he would feel better, even told him to take as long as he needs. He's been five minutes and the showers still on, that's a good sign."
Vanessa smiled; she was glad that she was putting her plan in motion. "Before he comes out I wanted to tell you that all being well we're going to move Mac tomorrow. Matty is sorting out a safe house for him to stay in for a little while."
"A safe house?" Jack asked, sounding worried.
"Not for that reason, I just don't think he's ready to go back to his house right now, and even your place is probably too raw for him. Somewhere neutral for a while and he can start getting back to normality."
Jack nodded; he liked the idea. "I'll be staying with him."
"I thought you might," Vanessa smiled, the shower shut off. "Don't mention it to him, I don't want to get his hopes up and it falls through."
"My lips are sealed."
Mac came out a minute later, looking more refreshed, although there was still a look in his eyes that Vanessa didn't like. "Do you want to talk Mac?" she asked.
Mac came over to stand next to where Jack was sitting, leaning against him. "About what?"
"About what happened last night? You don't have to, but I'd like to know what you were feeling that made you want to sit in the corner, you haven't done that since you arrived."
"I felt alone, I knew it was my fault Jack had left and I worried he wasn't coming back," Mac paused, not knowing if he should continue.
"Go on buddy, we need to know."
"Whenever father punished me, he'd always secure me in the same corner, it was where I'd started to feel safe, I knew if he put me there then the punishment was usually finished. I guess I wanted to feel safe and I was alone, so I went to the closest place to my corner as I could get."
Vanessa sat in silence throughout Mac's speech, that was the most he had ever spoken at once, he stuttered a few time and she could see that a few tears had fallen, but she was proud of him for telling them how he was feeling and why he'd done what he did.
"I'm proud of you for telling us that Mac, that can't have been easy. Is that why you lashed out, because someone was taking you away from where you felt safe."
"A little, but when that doctor grabbed me, it was in the same place father used to grab me, usually when he wanted me to go somewhere I didn't want to."
Jack was rubbing Mac's back; he was still leaning against him and he was shaking. "He can't hurt you anymore bud."
"Is it…" Mac trailed off.
"What kiddo, you can say."
"Is it bad that I don't think everything my father did was wrong?" Mac asked, expecting to be shouted at.
"Of course, not Mac," Vanessa answered, knowing that there was no switch that could be flicked to make Mac suddenly feel the way he did before. "It'll take time for you to realise those things. Suddenly you might just decide that what your father did was wrong, or you might always believe that he was right to do what he did. There are no right or wrong answers. I don't want you to worry about that."
Mac nodded, feeling a little better, he went and sat on the recliner, picking up one of his books, the discussion obviously finished.
After lunch Dr Fray came in with Vanessa to have a conversation with Mac about removing his cuffs.
"Mac, I need you to listen to something and I want you to wait until the end before you say anything," Vanessa said, getting his full attention. "We need to talk about removing your cuffs." She saw him look down at them, a worried look on his face. "You don't need them on anymore and we're worried that the longer they stay on the harder they will be to remove. Dr Fray is also worried about how you skin is, that skin hasn't been exposed to the air or anything for over a month."
"Father said they must never come off," Mac started. "I know he put them on and told me they had to stay so he could restrain me easier. I know I don't need them anymore, but it's scary."
"Of course, it is. We would never force you Mac, but we strongly recommend it."
"When would you do it?"
"Before you go to sleep tonight," Dr Fray said. "I'd like to also do one last set of scans, to make sure everything is healing nicely."
"Can I think about it?" Mac asked, not completely ready to take them off.
"Of course. Can I take you for those scans now? Then we can come back later to remove the cuffs if you agree."
"Can Jack come?" Mac asked, the first time he'd ever said anything other than yes or just nodded. "If that's ok." Mac looked at Jack quickly, realising he should have asked first.
"Course I can come kiddo, as long as it's ok with the doc."
"I have no issues with that, shall we go then."
The three of them walked to the room where the tests took place and Mac decided to be brave and have then without sedatives. Jack stood as close as he was allowed, watching Mac shaking slightly while the x-rays were being taken.
Dr Fray came out, the ultrasound was more precise, the person needed to be very still. "Mac I know it's hard, but you need to stay still."
"I'm sorry," Mac said, trying desperately, his body wasn't having any of it though. "I'm sorry."
"Kiddo, it's not your fault, shall we try the sedative?" Jack hated seeing Mac hurting.
Mac nodded and Dr Fray came over. "This is a very mild sedative; it just calms your muscles, but you'll remain awake."
The scan went quickly once Mac wasn't shaking so much and soon Doctor Fray told them that he was healing well, his kidneys looked almost normal, a bit more rest and they'd be back to the way they were before. His ribs were still broken, but there were healing much faster now.
Jack and Mac headed back to his room, he had to think about his cuffs some more, Mac knew that Jack didn't understand, that no one did. He was still scared deep down that this wasn't going to last and his father was going to come back, if he removed the cuffs his father would be furious, he told him they were custom made and one of a kind. If Mac removed them, he wouldn't be getting anymore. They had been a part of him for over a month and it would feel a bit like losing a limb. He also knew that they were technically a foreign body and that they shouldn't be on, who knew what his skin would be like underneath.
The decision was giving him a headache and he went and to lay down as soon as they were back.
"Hey buddy, you ok?"
"Can we not talk about it, my head hurts," Mac replied, closing his eyes.
"Do you want some painkillers?" Jack asked, dimming the lights. Mac shook his head. "Ok kiddo, let me know if you change your mind." Mac nodded and the room became quiet.
An hour later and Vanessa was back to see if Mac had decided, she found them in the same position they'd started in when they came back from the scans.
"Is he ok?"
"Headache, I think it's from trying to make a decision, the poor kids tying himself in knots."
"Mac it's Vanessa, are you awake?"
"Yes."
"If this decision is too difficult we can leave it for now, I don't want you getting upset."
"It's ok, I've decided," Mac said, sitting up. "Take them off, but…."
"But what Mac?" Vanessa asked, thinking she knew the answer.
"But I'd like to keep them. Just for now."
Vanessa nodded, knowing that would be the case, she didn't have any problems with it, knowing that they were a big part of his time with his father. Unless he formed some unhealthy attachment she didn't mind him keeping them for a while.
"I'll see if Dr Fray can meet us, we can have them off before dinner."
Mac nodded, hoping he'd made the right decision, ten minutes later and Dr Fray was putting the key in the lock of his left ankle cuff, they decided to start there as the ankles were usually stronger. The key went in and the lock turned, the cuff was pulled slightly and Mac winced as it came off, Dr Fray inspected the skin and while it was red and dry there was no infection, the other ankle cuff came off much the same way.
Mac wasn't looking forward to the wrist cuffs coming off, he knew that there may be some damage as he'd been hung from his wrists quite a few times, during some of those times his skin had bled. The first one came off and Mac gasped, as it pulled there were obvious signs of wounds that had been hidden, Dr Fray removed the other one before looking at them, the second was the same as the first.
"I'll have to irrigate these, to make sure there's no infection, then I'll bandage them," Dr Fray said. "It will be painful Mac; would you like to take something first?"
"No, I'm fine."
Dr Fray didn't look convinced but proceeded, after the wounds had both been irrigated and bandaged Mac's eyes were scrunched up and he was panting, he suddenly felt some relief and looked up.
"I'm sorry Mac, I've given you a mild painkiller, you shouldn't have to suffer."
Mac was secretly pleased, he felt that he should take the pain, it was his fault the cuffs had been on for so long, he also deep down felt it was his fault that there were wounds to begin with. If he hadn't needed punishment, then his father wouldn't have hung him from his wrists.
"I'll have the nurse bring in some food, I'm also prescribing a course of antibiotics, just to be on the safe side. I'll see you later Mac."
Dr Fray left and Vanessa and Jack both told Mac they were proud of him. He wasn't sure he deserved it, but he smiled. Eating his dinner quietly when it came in. He went to bed that night more relaxed, Jack was staying again. Hopefully, the night would go by quickly and tomorrow would be a better day. And it would be, Mac didn't know yet, but he was leaving the hospital, the house had been all set up ready, the fridge filled, Mac's and Jack's stuff already there. All it needed was its two occupants and life could start getting back to normal.