Mac was unhappy to leave Jack and go to sleep, but he could barely keep his eyes open and he knew that he couldn't stay awake much longer. He was soon under the covers, sleep coming straightaway. Unfortunately, the flashback of his father was still with him and it soon came back in technicolour filling his dreams.
He felt the pain of the hits, shaking in his sleep and crying out. In real life he hadn't ever told his father to stop, that would have only brought on more punishment, but in his dreams he could do whatever he liked. He screamed at his father to stop hurting him, he screamed that he was sorry and that the fire had been an accident. The pain didn't stop though, dream James like real James was just as angry, shocks soon coming, causing his body to spasm.
"Mac, wake up," Jack said, racing into the room. He wasn't sure if he should touch the kid, but he hovered close by. "MAC."
Mac was caught, the dream like the flashback wouldn't leave him, for some reason it seemed to be on repeat, his father would release him from his restraints and he would fall to the floor, then the pain would start all over again. Mac had started to hyperventilate in his sleep, shaking and crying.
"WAKE UP ANGUS!" Jack cried, hoping that if he used his given name it might shock him from his sleep.
It worked, Mac jumped a mile, scrambling across the bed to get away from the figure standing over him. He was still in a state, not quite understanding where he was.
"Kiddo, it's ok, you're safe, it's Jack," Jack said, repeating the words over until Mac seemed to wake up fully.
"Jack?" Mac asked, sitting up and looking at his friend.
"Yeah buddy, I'm here, you're ok."
"I couldn't wake up," Mac said, his voice so quiet.
"I know bud, but you're awake now. Do you wanna talk about it?"
Mac looked up at Jack, not sure if he wanted to, he crawled across the bed, leaning against the headboard, he was chewing his lip, looking anywhere but at Jack.
"You don't have to talk to me buddy, not if you don't want to," Jack said, seeing the kid tie himself in knots. "Shall I leave you alone?"
"NO," Mac cried, his breathe speeding up again. "Please don't leave me."
"Hey kiddo, I'm not leaving," Jack replied, walking closer. After seeing the desperation in Mac's eyes, he got onto the bed pulling his kid into a hug. "I'll never leave you."
Mac snuggled against him, his hand gripping Jack's shirt, as if he were scared if he didn't Jack would disappear. He rested his head against Jack's chest, listening to his heartbeat, trying to get his to match up.
Jack ran his hand up and down Mac's arm, happy to sit in silence for a bit, only wanting to push Mac to talk if he was ready. After five minutes he spoke. "You ready to tell me about your dream?"
"James was hurting me," Mac whispered, not wanting to make Jack angry.
Recently Mac had been more open with Jack about some of the things his father had done to him, and Jack's reaction hadn't always been good. He'd threatened to tear James apart, said he deserved a bullet and lots of other things that Mac didn't want to think about. He knew that Jack wanted to protect him, and Mac had just recently started referring to his father as James, knowing that any sort of decent parent wouldn't do half the stuff his father had done.
Mac knew that James was sick, and he'd mentioned it a couple of times to Jack and Vanessa, saying that they couldn't possibly know what would have happened had James not had a multiple personality disorder. Although sometimes it made it worse for Mac to think about, would James have even left if he hadn't been sick, would he have come back earlier, or even at all.
"You wanna tell me what he was doing?" Jack asked, thinking that Mac had gone back to the punishment he'd received for the accidental fire.
"You'll be mad."
"I'd never be mad at you, kiddo," Jack assured him.
"Not at me, about what James did."
Jack sighed, knowing what Mac was referring to, he had tried so hard to hold in his feelings, but when Mac had told him some of the things that had happened while he was with his father, Jack couldn't help but get angry. He had to stop himself from doing that in front of the kid, otherwise he'd never want to tell him anything again.
"I promise I won't bud. Go on, take your time."
So, Mac told Jack about being stripped and the beating, he told him that he'd been soaked through and then blindfolded. He told him about the electric shocks and that he'd passed out from the pain. The whole way through Jack had stayed calm on the outside, still soothing Mac, running his hand down his arm or through his hair. Internally he was ready to find James and kill him, what he wouldn't give for five minutes alone with that man.
"When he was done, he put me in my corner," Mac said, not sure if he should tell Jack the rest.
"You said that usually meant the punishment was over," Jack replied, remembering what Mac had said in the hospital.
"Usually."
"But not this time?"
"He was really mad, said that I wasn't allowed to sleep," Mac paused, his breathing a little off. "He gave me a stimulant, kept me awake."
Jack closed his eyes, thinking that it couldn't get any worse. He was already thinking how bad it must have been for Mac to try sleeping with his hands restrained above his head, especially when he was in pain. Now to be told that he had no choice but to stay awake, not being able to escape the pain, he wasn't sure he could take anymore.
"It wasn't the first time," Mac whispered, knowing that Jack knew a little of the days of torture he'd received. "But it hadn't happened in a while."
"Kiddo, it should never have happened."
"I know," Mac replied, he'd come along way, knowing that a lot of what his father did had been wrong. Still unsure about all of it, there were still times he felt he deserved what he got. "In the morning I'd started to fall asleep and James came in, he told me specifically I had to be awake."
"What did he do?" Jack asked, holding his breath for Mac's answer.
"He slapped me hard, shouting that he hoped I hadn't been sleeping," Mac replied, snuggling closer to Jack. "I thought he was going to hurt me some more. But he didn't, let me get up and have a shower."
"That's good bud."
"I don't think I can go back to sleep," Mac said in a small voice. "I'm scared."
"Kiddo, you can't stay awake, it's not good for you. I'll be here, you try to sleep, I'll wake you if you start to have a nightmare."
Mac nodded, getting comfortable, closing his eyes and drifting off knowing that Jack would keep him safe.
That was where Vanessa found them the next morning, she was going to join them for breakfast and when she'd arrived there was no sign of either of them. She walked through the house, wanting to make sure that there were no problems, opening Mac's door to find them both asleep.
She smiled slightly but frowned, knowing that Mac wouldn't have let Jack stay unless he'd been upset. As she was about to leave Jack opened his eyes.
"Hey doc," he said, looking down at Mac to see if he was still asleep. "Is it that time already?"
"I'm a little early. Everything ok?" Vanessa asked, keeping her voice low.
"Bit of an incident yesterday. Mac had a pretty bad flashback, then he had a bad nightmare, we talked, and I think it helped."
Vanessa nodded, glad that Mac had finally started sharing with other people. "What caused it?"
"A fire in the kitchen, don't worry nothing big. He flashed back to the fire that happened in James's workshop, had a pretty bad panic attack. He talked to me about how his father punished him, has he told you about that one yet?"
"No, not in any detail. Bad?"
"You've no idea, surprised the kids not permanently scarred. It took all I had not to react, but I know I need to reign that in."
Vanessa nodded, she was aware of the way Jack reacted to some of Mac's explanations, glad that he'd realised it himself. "I'll start some breakfast if you like?"
"Thanks, I'll get me, and Mac sorted, and we'll be out soon."
An hour later and breakfast was finished, Jack cleaning up while Vanessa talked to Mac. She didn't want to go into any details about what had happened, knowing that Mac had spoken to Jack. But she wouldn't be a good doctor if she didn't check on him.
"You'll let me know if you want to talk?" Vanessa asked, after they'd discussed things.
"I will, I feel better this morning," Mac replied, honestly. He'd slept well after talking things through with Jack, feeling refreshed when he woke up. "Do you want to talk about anything else?"
"No, not at the minute. And we need to get going, if we're going to make our appointment," Vanessa responded, smiling and getting up, knowing that Mac was curious where they were going.
"Yeah bud, why don't you go get ready," Jack added, walking over.
"Ready for where?" Mac asked, hoping Jack might tell him.
"You'll see," Jack smiled, hoping that the kid was going to like the surprise.
A car ride later and they were pulling up, Mac leaning over to see where they were, he could see a couple of buildings, the signs saying what the businesses were. He was still none the wiser as to which one they were going to.
"Come on Mac don't wanna keep them waiting," Jack said, getting out of the car.
Mac followed Jack, shocked when they went into the building straight ahead, why would they be going in there. He looked to Vanessa who just smiled back at him. Walking up to the reception, he heard Jack speak and was soon being led through a doorway. They waited, Mac a little uncomfortable, he wished he knew what was going on. A few minutes later and a woman came through the door, carrying something in her arms. She crossed the room and put it down in front of Mac.
"Surprise kiddo, she's all yours" Jack said.
Mac crouched down, picking up the puppy that was sitting at his feet, looking at Jack with a confused expression. "Why?"
"Why not," Jack replied.
Mac found out later, once they'd gotten back to the house that the puppy was in fact a trauma dog, Vanessa explained that a lot of her patients needed something extra to help them with their recovery and Jack had suggested the dog. At first Mac was unsure what to think, how was a dog going to help, other than being an extremely cute distraction.
"Trauma dogs are trained to help people when they're upset, she'll sense your discomfort or anxiety and find a way to help you through it. Even just holding her or stroking her may help," Vanessa explained.
Mac nodded, already feeling calm with the puppy in his lap, he smiled scratching her between the ears.
"What are you gonna call her?" Jack asked, coming into the living room.
"I'm not sure," Mac replied, thinking it over.
"You let us know when you decide," Jack said, sitting on the coffee table in front of the two of them. "There is another bit to this surprise."
Mac's head went up, what more could there possibly be.
"Vanessa thinks you're ready to go home," Jack started, careful in his words. "If you're happy to, we were thinking we'd go this afternoon."
Mac wasn't sure what to say, he hadn't been back to his house in a long time and he was worried how he'd react. He cuddled his new puppy close, knowing he needed to get it over with, he couldn't stay in the safe house forever. "Ok."
"Ok? That's it, just ok," Jack said, noticing the way Mac was gripping the dog tightly. "We don't have to go today if you're not ready."
"I need to go. You'll be there?"
"Course I'll be there!" Jack exclaimed, did the kid really think he'd let him go by himself. "Vanessa too."
Mac nodded, sitting back, he would be ok if Jack were there. He now had his new puppy too; she'd look after him. "Lola." Explaining after confused looks. "I'm naming the puppy Lola; I think it suits her."