Mac approached the front door of his house cautiously, holding Lola in his arms, Jack and Vanessa behind him. The door opened before he could reach for the handle, Bozer appearing in front of him.
"Mac, welcome home," Bozer said, smiling. "Is this Lola? Wow she's cute."
Trust Bozer to know how to distract him, he was leading Mac inside, talking about the dog and before he knew it they were in the living room and he hadn't even noticed.
Mac froze when they stood next to the couch, his mind going back to when he'd last been there, seeing his father sitting on the armchair. He started to breath heavily, hugging Lola tightly, not hearing anything around him, only seeing that night flash before his eyes. He was pulled from the thought by wetness on his face, Lola was licking him, whimpering, knowing that her human was upset.
"I'm ok Lola," Mac managed to say, kissing her on the nose. "Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about bud," Jack said, his arm coming around his shoulders. "This was always going to be hard the first time."
Mac nodded, turning to look around, once that initial shock was over he was ok, he was glad to be home. He put Lola down, thinking that she'd want to explore, she shot off as soon as her feet touched the floor, sniffing everything, looking in every corner.
"She looks at home," Bozer said, coming past Mac into the kitchen. "I'll make a start on dinner. You gonna stay Vanessa?"
"That would be nice Bozer thank you," Vanessa replied, wanting to stay for as long as possible, so she could make sure Mac settled ok.
"Cool, dinner for four then," Bozer said, a smile on his face, he'd been cooking for one for a while.
"You doing ok bud?" Jack asked, watching Mac take in the house.
"Yeah," Mac replied, walking out onto the deck. "I've missed this place."
"I bet," Jack stated. "You wanna get this fire pit going? Be nice to eat out here tonight."
Mac nodded, getting the things they needed, he was hopeful that now he was back home things could start getting back to normal.
A few hours and lots of food later and Vanessa had left, promising to come back the next day, Bozer had gone to bed, only after telling Mac to wake him if he needed anything.
"Are you going to stay?" Mac asked, looking shyly at Jack.
"Course I am kiddo, I'm not gonna leave you on your own just yet," Jack replied, hating the vulnerable look on Mac's face.
Mac smiled, pleased. He felt guilty keeping Jack from his apartment, who knew the last time he'd been there, but he wasn't quite ready to be away from him. He was slightly concerned that Jack would soon get sick of him and leave anyway, he knew he was being a burden.
"Hey kiddo, what's wrong?" Jack asked, coming closer.
Mac realised that some tears had leaked out of his eyes and that Lola was licking his face again, Jack had obviously picked up on it. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden."
"Hey, we'll have none of that," Jack exclaimed a little harshly, mad at himself when Mac flinched slightly. "I'm sorry kiddo, I shouldn't have yelled. But you've gotta believe you are not and will never be a burden. Do you understand."
"But.."
"No buts. You remember me saying that I love you and that I would always be there, I meant every word. When you love someone and that someone is family, you never think they're a burden, you just help them and stay with them until they don't need you anymore. Now I hope you'll always need me, but when you're back on your feet we can go back to how we were before, I'll be here, if and when I'm needed again."
Mac nodded, knowing that Jack was being truthful, he'd always been there when Mac needed him, and he didn't think he'd stop now. "Thanks Jack."
"No need to thank me, it's what families do. It's what you'd do if the roles were reversed," Jack replied, pulling the kid to him. "Now how about we watch a movie?"
"Sounds good," Mac replied, getting up, Lola following.
They all settled on the sofa and the movie began, Mac leaning into Jack and stroking Lola, he was safe and loved and he hoped that never stopped.
Mac woke with a start, not sure where he was, there was a weight on his lap and a strange noise coming from his right. He took some deep breaths, he wouldn't panic. Looking down he managed to make out Lola, sleeping on his lap and the noise he realised was Jack snoring. Mac smiled, he remembered now, they'd sat down to watch a movie and must have fallen asleep. He didn't want to disturb anyone but discovered after a minute what had woken him, he was desperate for the toilet. He carefully moved Lola and sat up, hoping he wouldn't wake Jack, successfully getting to his feet without anyone stirring he made his way to the bathroom.
After that he decided to check out his bedroom, he hadn't yet been in there and wasn't sure what he'd find. If he remembered correctly he'd left it in an ok state, bed unmade and some laundry still to be done. He wondered if Bozer had even ventured inside or if it would have been too painful. He had his answer as soon as he walked through the door, the room was pristine, the bed had new sheets and the laundry basket was empty, he smiled, he'd have to thank his roommate.
Mac decided to change into something more comfortable and then go back to the sofa, he didn't want Jack to wake up and find he wasn't there. Unfortunately, when he decided after changing to lay on his bed, he promptly fell asleep and that's where Jack found him hours later after a frantic search through the house.
Jack awoke slowly, his eyes adjusting to where he was quicker than Mac's had. He noticed immediately that there was no one next to him on the sofa and he panicked, shooting up ready to call Mac's name. He stopped himself, not wanting to wake Bozer and realising that he was probably being overly dramatic, Mac had probably gone to the bathroom. Checking to make sure Lola was still asleep, Jack made his way through the house, checking the deck first and then the main bathroom, finding nothing he headed to Mac's bedroom, smiling when he found the kid sprawled on the bed on top of the covers.
Jack watched for a few minutes, knowing that it was creepy but not caring, he'd noticed Mac had changed, pleased that he felt comfortable going about his routine somewhere he hadn't been for so long. Jack backed out of the room slowly, making his way to the guest bedroom, changing himself and getting into bed. He lay there for a little while thinking about what Mac had said earlier, hoping that he'd got through to the kid that he wasn't a burden to anyone. He would have to keep an eye on him, maybe talk to Vanessa the next day. For now, it was time to sleep, who knew what time Mac would be up and Jack wanted to be refreshed and ready for anything.
Jack walked into the kitchen, hearing Mac talking to Bozer, glad that they were both up and ok.
"Thanks for tidying my room," Mac said, sipping his cup of coffee. "I wasn't sure how you'd feel going in there."
"It was tough Mac, I'm not gonna lie. Being here without you, not knowing where you were…" Bozer trailed off, he didn't want to burden his friend after he'd just come home.
"I'm sorry Boze."
"Nothing you could do about it, so there's no need to apologise," Bozer responded, shaking his head. "It took a little while, but I stripped the bed and did the laundry, only put fresh sheets on yesterday when I knew you were coming back."
"I missed you Boze," Mac said, his voice becoming unsteady.
Before they could get too emotional Jack walked in, greeting them both and sitting next to Mac.
"You sleep ok buddy?"
"Yeah, sorry about leaving you on the couch. I hope you didn't worry."
"Nah, no worries. I figured you'd decided to sleep somewhere proper, like a bed. I did the same," Jack replied, hoping that Mac bought it.
Mac smiled, knowing that Jack was probably telling a white lie but leaving it. "So, any plans for today?"
"I gotta work, but I'll be back for dinner. Maybe we could get pizza?" Bozer said, dropping his mug and dish in the sink.
"Sounds good Boze," Mac said, then biting his lip he asked. "Maybe we could have everyone over?"
"You sure you're ready for that?" Jack asked, sharing a look with Bozer.
Mac nodded, he wanted things to get back to normal, and having the team over for pizza would be normal. "I'm sure."
"I'll let everyone know," Bozer said, making his way to the front door. "See you later."
Jack turned to Mac once Bozer had gone. "You don't have anything to prove you know. If you need more time the others won't mind."
"I just want things to start getting back to normal," Mac replied. "I'm in a good place, or at least I think I am."
"Yeah kiddo, you are."
"Then I'm ready, you and Lola will be there if I need you. And it's just the team, not like I'm inviting over strangers."
Jack nodded, glad that Mac was feeling up to a visit, he knew that things were getting better, but that Mac still had a way to go. He'd only had a massive panic attack two days before, and there was no telling what would bring another one on. But he had Lola, who had already proven that she was good at her job and Jack would keep an eye on him. If Mac wanted to start getting back to normal, then there was no way Jack would stand in his way.