The next week went by quickly for Mac as he started getting into a new routine, Jack had gone back to work full time the previous day and Mac found he was ok with it. He wasn't ready to go back himself, even though Matty had promised he would only be working in the lab.
Vanessa had dropped their sessions as well, telling Mac that he could call her at any time but that she was pleased with his progress.
Mac was going out more, usually with someone else, but he'd started taking Lola for a walk by himself and was enjoying it. He was going to start running again too, knowing that his body desperately needed it, he hadn't had any proper exercise in a couple of months, and it was showing. He had had an appointment with Dr Fray a few days before and the doctor had been a little stern with him.
"You need to start exercising again Mac," Dr Fray had said, after the exam was over. "You've started gaining weight again, but other parts of your body are suffering. Your muscles and bones are weaker, and your immune system isn't working the way it should."
"And that's not good?" Mac asked, already knowing the answer.
"No, it's not," Dr Fray replied. "None of this is your fault Mac, you've been recovering, and I know you've been through a lot. But now I need you to start doing some form of exercise or I'm afraid things are only going to get worse."
Mac nodded, before his father had taken him he'd been extremely active, the missions he went on, running most days, working out in the gym. Unfortunately, since that day Mac had hardly exercised at all, pacing in his room while at his fathers was probably the closest he'd got. Since he'd been back he hadn't wanted to go out, only just recently walking longer distances.
"I've been walking Lola the last few days, and I thought about going for a run soon."
"Walking is good, running is better, although you need to take it easy the first time. Your body won't be ready for it."
Mac nodded again. "Anything else?"
"I'd like you to take some multivitamins, until you can get your body close to what it was before I think it's a good idea. It'll help your bones and your immune system; I worry that getting sick right now wouldn't be good for you."
Mac found himself with a plan from his doctor, vitamins, extra calories and exercise. Hopefully within a couple of weeks to a month he'd be feeling a lot more like his old self. Mac knew as well that until he was fit he wouldn't be allowed back to work. He wasn't sure he was ready for it, but part of him wished he were able to join the team, being by himself was making him nervous.
He grabbed Lola's lead, planning to take her for another walk, it would get him out of the house and help with the exercise. He'd promised Jack that he wouldn't go running until the next day, Jack wanted to be there in case there were any issues.
Mac was about fifteen minutes away from home, enjoying the fresh air, knowing that Lola was happy, although he could tell she was eager to get off her lead. They would be coming up to a park soon, so she could run around, there was no way he'd let her off early. Even though she was trained, she was still a puppy and she got excited very easily.
They were rounding a corner when Mac froze, his breathing picking up, heart racing, he must be seeing things, that couldn't be his father getting out of that car. Lola was whining, pawing at Mac's legs, she could tell that he was upset, and she was trying to get his attention. Unfortunately, Mac's whole mind and body were concentrated on one thing, the man approaching.
"Are you ok son?" The man asked.
Mac gasped, stepping backwards, it was his father, how did he get out of the secure hospital he was in. "Get away from me." Mac cried.
The man put up his hands, trying to appear non-threatening. "I don't want to hurt you; I just want to make sure you're ok."
Lola started growling and the man backed up. Mac turned and ran, like his life depended on it, his grip on the dog lead the only thing keeping him focussed. Soon he burst through the door to his place, locking it and hurrying to somewhere defensible. The corner of the living room was perfect, he could see the front door and the deck, no one could come in without him seeing, no one could get behind him. He pulled Lola close, his heart still racing, out of breath from the unexpected exercise.
An hour later and Mac was still curled up in the corner, afraid to move, he knew that he was being ridiculous, that man earlier hadn't been his father and while it was a shock he shouldn't be behaving this way. Lola was still by her human, occasionally licking his face, trying to calm him down, at least Mac had her, if he didn't he wasn't sure where he'd be.
There was a sound by the front door, and it opened, Mac froze, breathing picking up again, he'd locked it, he was sure he'd locked it.
"Mac, you home," Jack called, walking through the door. Eyes wide when he saw his friend. "Mac, what happened?"
It was Jack, he must have used his key. "Jack."
That one word said everything, and Jack understood exactly what Mac needed. He sat down next to him, pulling him and Lola towards him, running his hand through his hair.
"It's ok, I'm here now. You're ok." Jack repeated the words until he felt Mac relax against him. He gave it a couple of minutes and then asked. "You wanna tell me what this is about kiddo?"
"I took Lola for a walk," Mac started, not moving from Jack's side. "I thought I saw James."
"Oh, kiddo that must have been scary," Jack replied, hoping the kid hadn't been scared for long.
"He spoke to me, called me son. I thought it was him Jack!" Mac exclaimed, starting to cry again.
"You know it wasn't though, right," Jack said, holding Mac closer.
Mac nodded. "It's stupid."
"No, it's not bud, it's perfectly natural to feel scared. You haven't seen your father in weeks, suddenly coming face to face with him, even though it wasn't, that's gonna freak anyone out."
They sat there for a while, in silence while Mac calmed down. He pulled away from Jack with an apology.
"Nothing to apologise for," Jack said, getting up and helping Mac to his feet. "Why don't you have a shower and get into something comfy. I'll make some hot chocolate."
"Ok," Mac replied, happy to change, he felt sticky after his unexpected run. Some hot chocolate sounded great too.
Ten minutes later and they were both sitting on the couch, sipping hot chocolate Lola between them.
"I shouldn't have freaked out so much," Mac said quietly, looking at Jack after a minute of silence.
"Why not?" Jack asked, annoyed that the kid didn't seem to get it.
"Because it wasn't James, and even if it was it's been ages since he hurt me, I shouldn't still be scared of him."
"Kiddo, that doesn't make any sense," Jack responded. "One, the guy must have looked a lot like your dad to make you panic, so it doesn't matter if it was him or not. Two, who cares how long it's been, that man put you through hell and probably still would be if we hadn't recused you, there's nothing wrong with still being scared."
Mac shrugged, still unsure. "You wouldn't be scared."
"You know what bud; you're wrong, I would be. If my daddy had ever done anything like yours did, I'm not sure I would have survived it. And I'd be scared as hell that he was gonna come back."
"Really?" Mac asked, desperate for it to be true.
"Really, so if you've got it in your head that you shouldn't be scared because I wouldn't be, then you're wrong kiddo. And it's ok to feel that way, no one's gonna think any less of you."
Mac smiled, glad that Jack thought it was ok to be scared, the truth was he was terrified that his father was gonna come back. Sometimes he dreamt that he'd never left, and the last few weeks had been a dream, he'd wake up shaking, the only thing pulling him back to reality was Lola.
She was the best thing that had happened to him, he didn't know what would have happened if he didn't have her, he didn't think he'd be this far into his recovery without her. He owed her a huge treat, something to think about on his next trip to the shops.
Him and Jack stayed on the couch until Bozer came home, to his credit he didn't say anything, knowing that something had happened but not wanting to bring it up. Instead Boze just said that he was gonna start on dinner and he'd holler when it was ready.
The three of them spent the evening watching movies, talking about things that were happening at Phoenix, telling Mac how much he was missed. Mac smiled, knowing that they were trying to cheer him up, promising Bozer that he'd try to visit the lab in the next few days. It was a great night, Mac almost forgetting what had happened, only remembering when he saw his journal and realised that he should probably write it down.
Even though he was seeing Vanessa less often, she still wanted him to fill in his journal, it was the best way to get things off his chest and work through stuff that was bothering him. He flipped through the pages, noticing that it was getting full. He'd have to ask Vanessa in his next session if she thought he should buy a new one. To be honest he knew her response would be yes, so it was probably pointless asking, deciding instead to put it on the list next to treat for Lola.
His thoughts were interrupted by Jack poking his head in the door. "I'm gonna sleep in the guest room tonight bud. You come get me if you need me."
"Thanks Jack," Mac replied, smiling shyly.
Jack would always be there no matter what and so would Bozer. Mac had a good life, and he was thinking that from now on things could only get better. Closing his journal, he got ready for bed, hoping that tonight there would be no nightmares.