A/N: Thank you to my Beta, lozipozivanillabean! Enjoy!
xxxviii.
became the heirloom of the heaviness we've known
(Heirloom by Sleeping at Last)
January 4, 1979
After her exhausting revelation to the rest of her friends, Dumbledore sent an Owl through Fleamont stating that he'd drop by Potter Manor once more to further discuss things regarding their current predicament. Hermione insisted that Lily and Sev stay for Dumbledore's visit, and although they had both looked terribly uncomfortable, her best friends conceded.
Conversations in the Drawing Room became light and cordial, with James and Peter chatting with Lily about how her Unspeakable duties had been. Severus and Remus were, surprisingly, discussing their future plans of becoming professors at Hogwarts, with Remus constantly asking Sev questions about how the interview would go, since Sev had already gone through his. Granted, Sev looked terribly, terribly uncomfortable, speaking one-worded replies to the inquisitive werewolf, but Remus didn't seem to mind. Or if he did, he chose to ignore it.
It was a really weird sight, seeing her best friends interacting with the Marauders. Hermione met Sev's eyes from across the room, and he quirked an eyebrow at her ridiculous grin. She was the most worried for Sev, since he still deeply disliked the others, but it warmed her heart at how he was trying to still be civil.
Sirius, however, was worrisome. The grey-eyed wizard had been sitting in front of the fire, cross-legged, and brooding. His friends tried to get him to talk, but Sirius constantly pushed them away.
Hermione knew the revelation that his little brother had been helping her with the horcrux hunt had disoriented him completely. At Hogwarts, Sirius had talked about Regulus like he was ashamed of him.
'Not ashamed,' she mentally corrected. 'Disappointed.'
Sirius was disappointed that Regulus had continued being the perfect Pureblood their parents wished him to become, associating himself with the smarmiest bastards at school, and upholding ideologies that were incongruent with his.
Peter and James told her how they'd recently suspected that Regulus was already a Death Eater. Hermione wondered how Sirius felt about that.
Pokey soon came a few hours after, declaring that dinner was ready for Master James and his friends.
"Sirius," Hermione called, sauntering towards the silent wizard. She gently touched his shoulder to get his attention.
The wizard tensed instantly, but his back was still facing her.
"It's time for dinner," she said.
"I'm not hungry," he bit back dully.
Hermione frowned. "You need to eat," she insisted. "Dumbledore's coming soon."
"Bugger off, Hermione," he murmured.
"But—"
Her words died down when James held her hand and gently pulled her away from the overwrought wizard. "Leave him be for now, love," he whispered, ushering her out of the Drawing Room behind the others. "Sirius always gets like this if something comes up with his brother."
Hermione sadly glanced over her shoulder to look at Sirius. "Will he be all right?" she asked.
"Just give him some time. The fact that his brother's been helping you gather horcruxes for Voldemort's downfall has rattled him immensely."
The brunette sighed and reluctantly nodded, knowing she wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway.
-ooo-
Regulus's eyes fluttered open as soon as she touched his cheek.
Hermione exclaimed a relieved laugh and leant towards the disoriented Slytherin, wrapping her arms tightly around him with utmost relief. She thought she had cried herself dry over the past two days, but apparently, she was wrong. Tears still welled in her eyes and she was infinitely relieved that Regulus had finally awoken.
"Pe-Pettigrew?" he croaked, throat dry from disuse.
The brunette sheepishly smiled and pulled away from him. Regulus's grey eyes narrowed in confusion, his gaze scanning James's bedroom.
"Where are we?" he asked. He paused, smacked his lips, and frowned. "Water, please."
Hermione hastily nodded her head and poured him a glass of water, which was sitting on the bedside table.
"Where are we?" he asked once more, as he gratefully accepted the glass of water and downed it in big gulps.
"Potter Manor."
Regulus suddenly choked on his water, loud coughs forcefully escaping from his lips. Hermione's eyes widened at his response and quickly leant over, thumping his back until his coughing fit had stopped.
"W-what?"
"Potter Manor," she repeated more deliberately, snatching the glass cup from his hand as his fingers tightened around it.
Regulus glanced around the unfamiliar room with unfiltered panic on his face. "Why are we here?" he hissed, his voice now an octave lower as he nervously threw a glance at the closed door.
"You don't remember what happened." She stated it more matter-of-factly than questioningly, his wild eyes already telling her what was going through his head.
"No," he punctuated. "The last thing I remember was you hitting me with the Body-Binding Jinx. What the hell was that, Pettigrew?"
"You were begging to drink water," she hotly defended herself. "One of the dark liquid's consequences was to make you unbearably thirsty, and Voldemort cursed the cave so that no one could produce water. Clever trick, that bastard."
His fingers started massaging his temples. "Then what happened?" he asked.
Hermione's heart clenched once more as the events of yesterday came back to her. She refused to meet Regulus's gaze, her eyes trained intently on James's burgundy comforter. "You managed to break from the Body-Binding Jinx," she slowly explained. "I think the potion's effects were too great to ignore, so despite your weakened state, you were able to break from the spell. And – and there's a reason why there's a small lake infested with Inferi surrounding the basin which holds the horcrux."
Regulus took a sharp intake of breath. "So that whoever drinks the potion will be tempted to drink water from the lake, subsequently awakening the Inferi," he murmured.
Tense silence met his claim as Hermione remembered how Regulus was yanked into the dark water.
"Then… then why am I still alive?"
Her watery eyes snapped towards him. Regulus's face was as pale as the crescent moon outside, raw fear in his silver eyes. There was confusion too, as he most undoubtedly knew how persistent and indestructible Inferi were.
"Because I made sure of it," she whispered, lifting her fingers to brush away her tears. "Because, I cannot let you die in that cave again, without the world discovering you were the first person who dared defy Voldemort's ideologies, in the hope of bringing him down."
Regulus looked almost dead with his pale face. "Again?" he breathlessly asked. "You mean to say—" Hermione's eyes widened, realising her slip, but it was already too late.
"Yes," she reluctantly admitted.
His face crumpled. "I-I remember being pulled into the water," he sputtered out, wide-eyed and panicking. "I shouldn't be here."
"And yet, here you are," she said with a hollow laugh. "Do you honestly think I'd leave you behind, Regulus Black?
If I had to dive inside that Inferi-infested black lake again just to save your bloody life, then I'd gladly do it."
His jaw dropped. "You… y-you fucking did what?" He looked honest-to-Merlin horrified and disbelieving at the same time, and despite of all the horrible memories of that cave, Hermione managed to laugh in relief.
"Well, technically, an Inferius pulled me inside but I made sure I found you first before I swam back the surface," she stated matter-of-factly. "I did say I was a reckless Gryffindor in my past life. Honestly, Regulus. I don't know why you're even surprised."
"You could have died, Pettigrew."
The smile fell on her face, the weight of his words heavy on her shoulders. She knew she had been on the brink of death too - hopelessness consuming her whole, as the Inferi continued to stack up on each other, to pull every part of her body, refusing to let her resurface and return to that cold, stone island.
If it weren't for Peter and Kreacher… Merlin, Hermione thought it had been sheer luck, now that she properly pondered on it. If Peter hadn't borrowed parchment from her, if Peter hadn't snooped around her messy desk, if Peter hadn't insisted on coming, then perhaps both her and Regulus wouldn't be here right now.
"But I'm not," she whispered. "I'm still very much alive. And so are you."
Regulus snorted in disbelief, his grey eyes once more scanning the lavish room. "How long have I been unconscious?" he asked.
"Almost the whole day," she said. When his eyes widened, she quickly added, "Better than a week, which it would have been, had you not been tended to immediately. James was able to give you a potion that slowed down the effects of the dark potion. Madame Pomfrey and Mary treated you while you were asleep. They reassured us that there won't be any huge side effects, besides exhaustion. I'd rather you sleep for a few more hours, but I actually checked on you right now to see if you'd awoken."
His eyebrows knitted together as he tested his limbs. "Despite being sore and tired, I think I'm fine," he said. His eyes widened again in panic. "Shite, my parents! They might be wondering where I am right now."
"It's all right," Hermione assured. "Before we brought you here, we instructed Kreacher to ward your room and refuse any visitors as much as he could. He hasn't sent us any letter or anything about whether your parents were suspicious or not."
He marginally calmed down and nodded his head. "I should go home now before they start to get suspicious," he said, swinging his legs onto the edge of the bed.
"Wait."
Regulus paused and looked at a nervous Hermione.
"I wanted to check you were up, so you could attend the meeting," she explained.
"Meeting?"
Her face crumpled, beseeching. "You have to understand that I had no choice," she said. "You were dying and Peter had so many questions. Then, James and Peter agreed that Dumbledore must get involved so—"
"Dumbledore?!" he thundered. Hermione clammed up and refused to meet his eyes. "What did you do, Pettigrew?"
Hermione sighed and ran a tired hand down her face. "I told them everything," she murmured. "Hermione Granger, the Second Wizarding War, our horcrux hunt and…" She trailed off as her hand gingerly wrapped around his left forearm where his Dark Mark was, hidden underneath the white sweater James had lent him.
Regulus took another sharp intake of breath, releasing expletives soon after. "You told them about my— my—"
"I had no choice. I'm so sorry," she sincerely replied. "They hazarded, anyway. They already highly suspected you as Branded and after I told them about my tale, they inevitably landed on that conclusion." She thickly swallowed, her hold on his arm tightening. "If it helps, I don't think they plan to send you to Azkaban."
A wry laugh tore away from his lips. "Thanks for the reassurance, Pettigrew," he snarled.
"I'm serious," she said, pinning him with a stare. "They know you've been helping me in this horcrux hunt for months. I think the fact you almost died retrieving Slytherin's locket, has also made them conclude that you're not a blind follower of Voldemort."
"You had no right," he snarled.
"I know," she whispered. "I'm really sorry."
Hermione frowned when Regulus schooled all of his emotions behind his indifferent mask. "Please, stop doing that," she said with a tired sigh.
He coolly looked at her. "What do you mean?" he drawled.
"Hide your emotions behind your stupid mask," she pointed out. "It's all right to show your emotions, Regulus. No one's going to use them against you."
His lips curled into a sneer. "You haven't lived with Pureblood bigots for years, Pettigrew," he snapped. "You don't know what you're talking about."
Hermione slumped forward and peered at him through sad eyes. "I know you're scared," she whispered slowly. "I mean, I would be if I'd just found out that one of my deepest, darkest secrets had been discovered. If you think they will condemn you for making a wrong decision in your difficult life, then Merlin I'll stand by your side. I will attest all the good deeds you've been doing behind their backs. Just… just don't do that. Hide behind your mask. It's not healthy. Let people know how you truly feel, Regulus. Only then will they understand all the decisions you've made in your life."
She had stunned him into silence. Regulus was staring at her with his wide, mercurial eyes, his jaw slightly hanging open at her words.
"I told you you're not alone in this fight," she added. "These people… I love them dearly and I know they're not exactly an easy bunch to be with. But we have the same cause and at times of war, we need all the help we can get."
Regulus took a deep, ragged breath as his mask slowly crumbled down. Hermione was overwhelmed by the magnitude of his emotions, which flittered briefly on his face. She wasn't sure how he truly felt right there and then, but she saw snippets of deep fear and shame, of sadness and loneliness, of determination and uncertainty.
She gave him a watery smile, tightly holding onto his shaking hand. "That's better," she said as a tear slipped down from her eyes. "You can be yourself around here, Regulus."
He shifted his gaze away from Hermione and her smile turned sad, noting how he was trying his best to hold in his tears.
"Dumbledore wanted you to join the meeting," she gently added. "I'll wait for you outside once you're ready."
Regulus didn't give her a reply. Hermione squeezed his hand for the last time before completely pulling away.
Before she walked out of the bedroom, Regulus called for her.
She looked at him questioningly, noting how unnaturally glassy his grey eyes were. What got her attention however was the wide smile on his face. The smile was earnest and relieved at the same time, and Hermione's eyes filled with tears once more as lone tear tumbled down from his grey eyes.
"Thank you, Hermione," he whispered inside the dark room.
She matched his smile, noting how he'd opted to use her first name.
"Of course, Regulus."
-ooo-
He emerged out of the bedroom a few minutes later. Regulus still looked exhausted from their skirmish at the Cave, but Hermione was relieved he could already walk without any assistance. He looked better now too, any traces of his tears dried and gone.
He shyly met Hermione's eyes, the peaks of his cheeks colouring in embarrassment, but Hermione merely smiled and ushered him to follow her.
Regulus stiffly walked beside her, obviously tense at being in a manor he once thought he'd never set foot into. He looked quite out-of-place in a house filled with red and gold. James's clothes also looked ridiculously loose on his lanky frame; Regulus had lost a lot of weight since the start of the school-year. Hermione made a mental note to urge him to eat more, especially now they were going to be deeply involved in this war against Voldemort.
He was silent throughout the journey. Hermione didn't bother conversing with him, her head already a little fuzzy from everything that had happened over the past few days. Despite managing to sleep until noon, Hermione still felt a certain tiredness that even reached her very soul. She wondered if mere sleeping would soothe her tiredness away.
They finally reached the Drawing Room. Regulus tensed once more, upon hearing the soft murmurs of conversation inside. He unknowingly stepped closer to Hermione, breaching her own personal space. Normally, she'd be annoyed by this, but Regulus looked like he needed as much comfort as he could get. If being close to Hermione provided that, then she really had no choice but to let him.
She grasped onto the doorknob and pushed the door open. Alastor Moody was with Dumbledore again, but this time, they were accompanied by a handsome, dark-skinned man adorned in the official burgundy robes of an Auror. She instantly recognised Kingsley Shacklebolt, a Ravenclaw, who was a year older than the Marauders. She knew he'd become an Auror before her brother. Hermione had never really interacted with him back at Hogwarts; Merlin, she's never really interacted with a lot of her Ravenclaw Housemates, always swept away by her obnoxious Gryffindor friends in various adventures.
"Hermione Pettigrew," he greeted, flashing her a complete set of pearly white teeth. "Brightest witch of her age."
She blushed at the compliment and wordlessly replied with a smile of her own. Her eyes then settled on Dumbledore as she walked a few steps inside. "I've brought Regulus, Headmaster," she quietly said. "He's already well."
The silence was palpable as she stepped aside and ushered the Slytherin to come in. Regulus mechanically took a few steps inside, his eyes trained intently on the rich carpeted floor.
Hermione could see how Sirius grew pale at Regulus's appearance. Her eyes briefly landed on Peter, worried, but her brother merely gave her a reassuring smile.
"Ah, Mister Black," Dumbledore amiably said. "Charming of you to finally join us today."
The wizened wizard was the only one unaffected by the tension in the room. Dumbledore shifted on the couch he was sitting on, flanked by Moody and Kingsley on each side.
"Come on," she murmured under her breath, tugging Regulus inside.
Hermione's eyes scanned around the room, trying to see where she could sit Regulus down. The only vacant seats in the room were besides James and Sirius. Hermione met her boyfriend's eyes and wordlessly told him to sit beside Sirius instead. The Potter heir's lips curled in dismay, prompting Hermione to roll her eyes.
Finally, James relented and stood up from his seat, occupying the vacant space beside his silent best friend.
She then sat Regulus down on the couch and plopped down beside him, her eyes instantly focusing on the leader of the Order. Dumbledore's eyes were already trained on Regulus, but the Slytherin kept his eyes on his lap.
"The horcruxes, Miss Pettigrew," Dumbledore then said, snapping his eyes away from Regulus to look at her. "I'm afraid you have to surrender them now. Auror Shacklebolt will keep them locked up in a safe place until we've killed the Basilisk."
"They're in my trunk back home," Hermione replied. She glanced at Peter and smiled. "Maybe my brother can turn them over tomorrow."
Peter nodded his head in agreement.
"Very well," the Headmaster replied. "Again, we plan to kill the Basilisk once summer starts." He shifted on his seat and glanced at the moody Auror beside him. "Have you talked with the Prewetts, Alastor?"
"Yes," Mad-Eye Moody gruffly replied. "They've enlisted the help of Benjy Fenwick from the Magical Creatures Department – they are ready to go once you give them the signal, Dumbledore."
The old wizard nodded his head then pinned Hermione and Regulus with a stern stare. "As for you two," he started, "I'm afraid your horcrux hunt is at an end, for now."
Regulus wore a small scowl while Hermione bristled in protest. "But Professor, we've come this far," she insisted. "There is only one horcrux left, which is the Gaunt ring."
"I understand your desire to gather them all, Hermione," he gravely started, "but both of you are still students under my care. From what I've deduced from your stories, procuring them will be dangerous." He raised a hand when Hermione opened her mouth once more, halting her from her tirade. "I do not doubt both of your skills. In fact, it is admirable how you managed to successfully gather the initial four. But after how both of you almost lost your lives in that cave, I cannot take any more chances. Like I said, I am still a Headmaster and I greatly care for the education of my students. And as your Headmaster, I forbid you from pursuing the horcrux while still under the care of Hogwarts."
Hermione curled her hands into fists and glared darkly at her knees. She truly understood the concerns Dumbledore had, but this horcrux hunt was her idea. She wanted to steal the ring and see it with her very own eyes, to put her heart at ease.
"Then perhaps, once we've graduated, we can continue with the hunt."
The brunette glanced at Regulus, mildly surprised he had talked. His grey eyes were resolute, his lips formed into a thin line.
The corner of Dumbledore's lips twitched into a small smile. "Oh, by all means," he gladly said. "This was your idea, after all. It will be terribly disappointing for you both if you don't finish it yourselves."
Hermione looked at the Headmaster with wide eyes. She honestly thought they'd be banned from getting the horcrux themselves.
"With all due respect, Headmaster Dumbledore, sir," Lily piped in. "But I don't think that is… err… safe."
"Oh, of course, not safe at all," he said, nodding his said while a serene smile appeared on his face. Dumbledore looked like he was talking about the weather or afternoon tea with his group of friends.
"They almost died last night," Severus drawled with a deep scowl. "I don't think it is wise of you to give them the mission of retrieving the last horcrux."
"They will not do this alone, if that is what you are worried about, Severus," the older wizard coolly said.
Hermione slowly nodded her head. "Just as long as Regulus and I will be there to retrieve the horcrux, then we will follow your orders, Professor Dumbledore," she said. The Slytherin beside her earnestly nodded his head, prompting her to smile.
The others looked like they were about to protest once more, but Dumbledore raised a hand, his eyes still intently trained on Hermione. "I must admit that despite my long life, I still do not know how horcruxes really work," he continued. "But I believe it is safe if we do not collectively destroy them all at once."
"That makes sense," the brunette murmured in reply. "I'm not really sure how horcruxes work either, but since they still house a piece of a soul, destroying them may be felt by their master."
"We've come across a few horcruxes in the past," Kingsley Shacklebolt added. "There were several reports which stated that the creator of a horcrux feels a very mild stinging burn internally every time one is destroyed. Often overlooked, I'm assuming. So, destroying one may be hardly felt, but if we destroyed them all together, we may alarm the maker."
Dumbledore gravely nodded his head. "I've talked with Alastor and some of my knowledgeable friends, and it seems that is the case," he said. "We will gather the basilisk venom and it is best if we do not destroy all five horcruxes immediately, nor all together."
Hermione nodded her head, agreeing with him completely. It was better to be safe than alert Voldemort to the fact they had discovered his weakness.
"Now, the last thing I'd like to discuss before we leave." Dumbledore's blue eyes landed squarely on Regulus, the usual twinkle in them curiously absent. "You are quite in a predicament, Regulus."
His cheeks reddened at being addressed.
"But, I propose a task, if you do not mind."
The Black heir narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Hermione noted how his carefully crafted mask was back in place, reining in whatever emotion he was feeling right now. She sighed at his guardedness, but then again, she knew he wouldn't let others know how he felt, especially if he was not well acquainted with them.
"I would like to formally invite you to join the Order of the Phoenix," Dumbledore continued. "But such appointment comes with a difficult task. You are, after all, pledged to another – a madman, if I may be so bold as to call him - and I'd rather you did not blindly let yourself be recruited into the Order by another madman."
"What difficult task?" Regulus deliberately asked, quirking an eyebrow at how casually Dumbledore had insulted himself.
Dumbledore's eyes turned steely, his lips pursing into a tight line. "As you are the only one who's currently affiliated with Voldemort, your knowledge about his missions, his future plans, will be of great help to the Order," he continued. "Otherwise, I'm afraid I'd have to Obliviate you to forget everything we've been working so hard to achieve these past few years."
The Headmaster's stare was unforgiving and Hermione knew Regulus had no choice but to choose. She wanted to say it was unfair, but she understood Dumbledore's logic. Still, her heart clenched at the thought that perhaps Regulus might change his mind because of Dumbledore's condition.
"I want Voldemort dead," Regulus harshly cried. "What more do I have to prove?"
"You do not need to prove anything anymore, young Regulus," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes softening. "It is a terrible thing to not have a choice. I'm sure you know that."
Regulus turned splotchy red, his glaring eyes landing on his lap again.
"Which is why I am giving you a choice," the old wizard continued. "No one in this room will judge you if you pick the easier way out." Dumbledore suddenly looked wearier, a dark shadow cast over his face. "One responsibility is already enough."
"I'll do it," the Slytherin said without any hesitation. "I will tell you his plans. I will tell you everything. If it means this will help bring Voldemort down, then I'll gladly do it."
"Regulus," Hermione softly quipped. "This isn't the same as the horcrux hunt." She grew worried at the implications of such a heavy task.
"Surely, you do not mean as to make him a spy for the Order, Dumbledore," Moody replied with a deep frown. "I do not think a boy his age and skill would be able to handle it."
"That is what I mean entirely," the Headmaster replied.
"With all due respect," Kingsley added, "he is but a boy. He is not trained for this, Dumbledore."
"Which is why I will train him myself," he coolly replied. Regulus's eyes widened in shock. "We can work out a schedule to enhance your Occlumency skills and maybe brush up your Defence Against the Dark Arts spells. Sound good, Mister Black?"
Regulus blinked his wide eyes. "O-of course," he stuttered. He cleared his throat and sat up straighter. "That won't be a problem."
"Ah, but of course I have to make sure it doesn't clash with Miss Pettigrew's colour-coded schedule." Hermione's cheeks reddened in embarrassment when Dumbledore's eyes glinted in amusement. "They are quite famous, I believe."
Regulus snorted, much to her annoyance. She hit him with the pointy end of her elbow and lightly glared.
Dumbledore was about to add another thing, but Sirius suddenly shot up from his seat and stormed out of the Drawing Room. Hermione's wide eyes lingered on the door he'd just closed with a loud bang, before glancing back at Regulus.
The Black heir's expression was indecipherable, his eyes still trained intently on the closed door.
"I think somebody needs to check up on Sirius," the old wizard quipped.
James was instantly on his feet, about to follow his best friend, but Regulus cleared his throat and pierced him with a firm stare. "I'll do it," he said.
The bespectacled Auror faltered, uncertain. James knitted his eyebrows together in deep contemplation, before finally nodding his head and sitting back down.
Regulus stood up from the couch, murmured his goodbye, and walked out of the Drawing Room.
"Well then," Dumbledore said, clasping his hands together and climbing onto his feet. "I'm afraid I have to leave now. Gentlemen?" He glanced at Moody and Kingsley, who both nodded their heads in agreement.
The Headmaster looked at Hermione, a warning glint in his eyes. "Please focus on your NEWTs and Head Girl duties for now, Miss Pettigrew," he said. "There are those who are already working their hardest to bring Voldemort down. It would be best if we are all patient and do not act recklessly, so as not to endanger our own life nor the lives of others."
"Yes, sir," she grumbled, blushing at her feet.
Dumbledore gave her an indulgent smile. "See you next term," was his goodbye, before he disappeared in a flash of emerald green, followed by Kingsley and Moody.
-ooo-
Regulus wrinkled his nose in dismay, noting how vast the Potter Manor was. It had been a split-second decision to follow Sirius, and it had felt right at the time. Now, however, the young Slytherin wasn't quite so sure.
He wandered throughout the different corridors, lips curling in disgust at how stupidly Gryffindor the whole Manor was. Potters had been Gryffindors for ages, so of course they'd decorate their house with such colours.
He peeked into one room, frowning upon seeing that Sirius was still nowhere in sight. His body was already aching from too much exertion and Regulus just wanted to rest. He debated whether he should stop searching for Sirius and just let his bloody friends comfort him.
Regulus wasn't even sure why his older brother had stormed out of the Drawing Room. He'd been resolutely refusing to look at him, his eyes solely trained on either Dumbledore, the older Aurors or Hermione. Regulus hadn't wanted to see the judgmental faces of the former Gryffindors. Severus was a fellow Slytherin, but he'd been in love with Lily Evans for years. He wasn't an ally either.
"Are you lost, lad?"
His eyes landed on an imposing portrait of a man with the infamous Potter hair, surrounded by potted plants of various species. Regulus warily eyed a Fanged Germanium biting on one of his sleeves, but the man seemed oblivious to such an assault.
"Pardon me," he politely started, "but maybe you've seen Sirius Black?"
"Ah, Sirius Black," the man said with an exasperated sigh. "Quite a rowdy boy, don't you think?" He paused and leaned closer, his nose almost touching the easel of his painting. "Now that I think about, you look exactly like him except the—"
"—nose, yes I know," Regulus replied, his finger tapping against the tip of his nose. "I get that a lot." When the portrait still looked at him suspiciously, Regulus sighed. "I'm his younger brother."
The portrait snorted and absentmindedly pulled the Fanged Germanium from his handsome, burgundy robe. "That's not possible," he said with a scoff. "You're too polite to be related to him."
In spite of himself, Regulus smirked. "I get that a lot too," he said.
The old wizard eyed him for a few more seconds before pointing a finger towards the left. "I saw him slip out of the Manor," he said. "I may or may not be exaggerating a bit, but I think your brother looks thunderous. Perhaps, you should leave him alone for now?"
"Thank you," he said, ignoring the man's advice as he turned around and stepped into a huge foyer. Regulus admittedly stared for a bit, noting the various statues from different cultures decorating the elegant, huge hall. Despite the hugeness of the whole Manor, it exuded a certain beauty and warmth that Grimmauld Place could never achieve.
His heart clenched and Regulus purposively pulled the imposing doors open, refusing to compare this place - that was undoubtedly a home – to the cold cold cold Grimmauld Place. Frosty, biting wind greeted his cheeks and he involuntarily shivered. Snow still blanketed the grounds of the Manor and Regulus noted with dismay how inappropriately dressed he was.
After muttering a quick Warming Charm, his grey eyes scanned the grounds once more in search of any tell-tale signs of his brother.
Something peculiar reached his nose and he took a mighty sniff. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, recognising where the smell had come from. Regulus scanned the grounds againand spied a puff of smoke somewhere on the west side of the Manor.
His boots scrunched noisily on the snow-covered ground as he slowly trudged towards his brother's hiding place. The smell of smoke grew more unbearable and by the time he spied Sirius, he was already trying not to inhale too much of the ridiculous smell.
"Really? After all these years?" he snapped, scowling at the cigarette hanging precariously in-between Sirius's chapped lips. "That's an unhealthy habit, Sirius. I thought you said you were just curious, when you tried it before?"
Sirius had tensed when he'd heard Regulus's voice, but thankfully, he hadn't run away. "I only smoke when I have a lot of things on my mind," he grumbled.
He grimly pulled the cigarette out of his lips when Regulus started to cough, letting it fall from his fingertips. He stomped on it with the heel of his dragonhide boots until the embers died. Smoke still billowed out from the cigarette and, annoyed, Regulus pointed his wand at the offending object and Evanesco-ed it away.
"What are you doing outside?" Sirius quipped. "It's bloody freezing out here."
Regulus eyed his leather jacket in envy. He almost rolled his eyes at how impossibly Muggle Sirius looked. He could imagine Walburga screaming her throat raw, if she saw her eldest son's clothes. Sirius would undoubtedly enjoy it, that bastard. Regulus still firmly believed that Sirius was born into this world to purposively make Walburga's life miserable.
"You ran away," he finally opted to reply, when Sirius was still quietly waiting for him to speak. "As usual."
Sirius scowled and looked away. "I needed to think," he snarled.
"Maybe it'd be better to think inside," Regulus insisted. "Like you've said, it's bloody freezing out here."
"Euphemia hates it when I smoke," Sirius explained. "The smell stays in the carpet and she'd surely have my head."
The younger wizard quirked an eyebrow. "Funny," he started, "you didn't have any qualms about smoking inside Grimmauld Place. Absolutely drove our mother mad, you know."
Sirius's lips stretched into a wry smile. "Yeah, well, I love Euphemia to bits and pieces and I don't want her to get mad at me," he said. "That woman, on the other hand…"
He let his words hang because they both knew how Sirius truly felt about Walburga. He didn't even address her as his mother anymore.
Now, without the distraction of Sirius's stupid habit, a tense silence stretched between the two brothers. Regulus shifted on his feet and grew uncomfortable, once again asking himself if going after Sirius had been a good idea. He'd spent most of his Hogwarts years ignoring Sirius's existence completely, pretending his idiot of a brother was a mere blip in the Ancient and Noble House of Black. Both Orion and Walburga never really recognised Sirius's existence, after all.
"Is it—"
Regulus's eyes sharply landed back on Sirius. His older brother had an odd look on his face, eyebrows knitted together, nose scrunched up in deep thought, and lips curled into a small frown. Regulus almost snorted, noting how after all these years, Sirius still had trouble hiding his emotions. It would have been infinitely disastrous if Sirius had been Sorted into Slytherin. Someone like him, thrown in with a bunch of snakes, he would have been eaten alive. He wore his heart on his sleeves, made his real thoughts known. He was everything that Regulus wasn't, which was why he wasn't fit to be the Black heir.
But despite their glaring differences, Regulus loved his brother very, very much. When they were young, he used to follow Sirius everywhere he went. The bright, warm boy always found new adventures in such a dreary place like Grimmauld, and Regulus trailed behind, starry eyed as his older brother pulled him into various activities that almost always resulted in punishment. Regulus used to beg his mother to spare Sirius, but she'd hit him with another spell, and he would be ignored. Instead, she'd constantly tell Regulus that he was their only hope, and he shouldn't follow Sirius everywhere he went because he was a disgrace to the family - she wished he had never been born.
These words had reverberated through Sirius's very soul. Regulus had seen how his warm, bright brother grew miserable in their home, always snapping at their house-elves and pushing Regulus away. It had broken his poor, young heart.
Things had spiralled from there when Sirius was Sorted into Gryffindor, and when he made friends with a bunch of Blood-Traitors and Muggleborns. Sirius had grown more and more rebellious, so naturally, Regulus had to grow more and more distant from his disgraceful brother. His parents groomed him as the perfect, Black heir instead, showering him with everything he wanted, which only made Sirius grow more resentful.
No one really batted an eye when Sirius ran away from home one day. It was inevitable; everybody had been waiting for it.
But despite all of this, despite everything they'd been through, Regulus still terribly missed his brother and all of their ridiculous adventures back at Grimmauld Place.
"Is it really true?" Sirius asked, managing to form coherent words this time. "What Hermione said? The horcrux hunt? The—" He took a sharp intake of breath as his eyes landed on Regulus's covered forearm.
"Yes," Regulus dully said. "All of it."
Sirius took another sharp intake of breath and cursed under his breath. His brother started to pace, his shoes already leaving footprints on the snowy ground. In spite of the tension, Regulus smiled. After all these years, Sirius still paced when he had so many things on his mind.
Regulus merely kept silent and watched him pace, knowing it wouldn't do him any good if he disturbed Sirius's thinking.
Finally, he drew to a halt and pierced him with his silver eyes. "Why?" was his question.
"Why what?"
"Why are you doing all of this?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Regulus asked with a snort. "Because I want Voldemort to die."
Sirius's gaze didn't waver. "That's not the only thing, is it?" he whispered.
His brother's gaze held meaning that stirred something in his heart. He formed his carefully crafted mask once more, unwilling to show any emotion that would deem him vulnerable. He had once before made a mistake in showing how he'd felt about Sirius's abandonment to Walburga. The stinging of his cheek was forever burned into his mind, and he'd vowed never to show any emotions to his parents again.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Regulus spat, scowling at his feet.
Sirius took a deep, stuttering breath. "Reggie," he said.
A lump formed in his throat. Nobody ever called him that except Sirius.
Regulus then remembered Hermione's words, urging him not to hide behind his mask. She said that at the Potter Manor, no one would use his emotions against him. She said that here, if he wanted them to understand everything he'd done in his life, he shouldn't hide behind his mask.
His heart clenched tightly as the lump grew unbearably large. He could feel the cracks appearing in his mask, piece by piece drifting away with the wind. He hadn't even realised tears had welled up in his eyes, until he stared at Sirius and saw he was blurry from the water in his eyes.
"Because I'm tired of this life, Sirius," he finally confessed. "I'm tired of all the expectations. I'm tired of constantly looking over my shoulder, ensuring that I make our parents proud, making sure that I don't cross any lines and make fucking Voldemort upset. It's—"
He gasped as his emotions rushed out of him like a great tidal wave. His hand snaked to his heart, clutching tightly onto his shirt like his life depended on it. "It's so lonely being a Black, Sirius. Do you know that?" he tiredly whispered. "Our blood weighs heavily on our shoulders. Do you know that?" A harsh laugh escaped from his lips. "Of course you don't. Because you're a bloody fucking coward who ran away and joined your merry, little friends. Because you're a bloody fucking coward who left me alone, with our parents' expectations and Voldemort's stupid ideologies."
Sirius's smile turned almost feral. "Why do you think I ran in the first place? I know how burdensome it is to be a Black, Reggie." He expelled a huge sigh, his breath making visible puffs in the frigid air. "And I wasn't a coward. I knew everything we'd been told was wrong and I couldn't stay there anymore. Running away was the best thing that I've ever done in my life."
"But what about me?" Regulus cried, furiously pointing at his chest. "What about your brother?"
Sirius wryly laughed. "I thought you were just like them," he confessed.
"Well, I'm not," he spat. "But of course, you don't know that because you've never talked to me, much less looked at me, have you? You never even once stopped and asked if I wanted to run away with you."
The older wizard stomped towards him, a thunderous expression on his face. "Why? If I asked you on that day, to pack away your things, to leave everything behind, would you have joined me?" he exclaimed.
"YES!"
Sirius's expression morphed into shock, his jaw hanging open as Regulus's answer resounded around them both.
The Slytherin drew in a deep gasp, angrily wiping his tears away. Maybe showing his emotions had been a bad idea after all.
"I didn't—"
All his pent-up anger melted like the snow underneath his boots. All Regulus felt now was deep exhaustion that he knew could never be eased by merely sleeping. "If you'd asked me to join you that day, to run away with you and leave everything behind," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper, "I would have gladly gone with you, Sirius."
Sirius's face crumpled as tears steadily poured down from his eyes. In two, big strides, he had reached forward and pulled Regulus towards him.
Regulus stilled for a moment, disbelieving of what was happening.
"I-I'm sorry," Sirius sobbed. "I'm sorry, Reggie. You're not alone. Not anymore. I promise. I promise."
More tears welled up in Regulus's eyes as soft sobs escaped from his lips, his hand tightly clutching the back material of Sirius's leather jacket.
A/N: Holy schnaps, this arc is finally done. Just so you know, this chapter and the last two were so exhausting to write hahaha. I'm glad this arc is finally done but of course there's still plenty of emotionally exhausting chapters to come lmao. Don't say I didn't warn you haha.
There are only two chapters left set in Hermione's seventh year. After that, well, I'll leave it to your imagination haha.
See you tomorrow!
With love,
WickedlyAwesomeMe
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