A/N: I'm not really honestly expecting anyone to read this. This is my way of trying to get out of my head during this crisis. We're all in this COVID thing together, although we are all fighting different battles. I am grateful that my family all has their health and their jobs, but this, this state our country is in is like living a dream or a movie, only we're not waking up and we can't turn it off. Also, this story started before the horrific murder of George Floyd. The story does take a turn for social justice, it was already headed that way, but it may now mention it a bit more. I love you all. Fight for all of our brothers and sisters. Stay safe.

A/N 2: This chapter contains a canonical character death. It is bolded with trigger warnings at the beginning and end of the scene. It is not graphic in anyway, but can be triggering. Also, there is mention of Kurt/OC's (not important) and obviously some Blaine/not Kurt. This will be a Blainecentric story for a bit, but Kurt will be come very important rather quickly.

Chapter 1: Teenage Dream

Blaine, by all accounts, was happy. He had great friends, a great family (although his brother definitely pushes his nerves), and he does well at school. He enjoys the glee club and he dreamed of going to school in New York; NYU has his name on it. He has a sweet, albeit, self-centered girlfriend and she's one of his best friends. He could say that his life was as perfect as he thought it could be. In a year and a half, he'd leave Ohio and go to school to maybe be a lyricist, or maybe an actor, maybe he'd sing on Broadway. Even though in this very moment his head was spinning and his emotions were conflicting he was happy.

They were currently lying on her bed, after a few drinks too many, while their friends enjoyed Rachel's dads being out of town for the weekend. While he wasn't sure that she, or even girls in general, were his type, he was sure in that moment that he greatly enjoyed kissing her. The alcohol coursing through his veins definitely didn't help any self-control and his pants definitely growing uncomfortable.

"Are you sure?" Blaine murmured

"Blaine, how are we going to be able to truly embody Tony and Maria if we don't do this!" For being intoxicated herself, Rachel was still coherent. If there was anything she was good at, it was talking.

"Okay." He whispered as he wiped her hair gently from her face before pulling her into a kiss, the bass from the music playing downstairs vibrating off the walls of her bedroom to the beat of their hearts.

When Finn told Kurt that McKinley High School was putting on West Side Story, he made sure to buy a ticket for opening night. His stepbrother is playing Riff, and he's completely jealous that his school doesn't offer musical theatre, or any arts at all. But that's what comes with living on that side of town. Finn's mother married his father in December. Although Carole and Finn moved into the Hummel household, they felt that it was better for Finn to finish his senior year at McKinley with his friends.

The night came and his eyes caught the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. He couldn't take his eyes off of Tony all night. During 'Tonight' he was sure that there wasn't a more perfect person on this earth. The beautiful Tenor never came over the house with the rest of Finn's friends, so Kurt assumed this would be the last time he saw him, he intended to enjoy every moment of it.

Rachel and Blaine sat on the end of his bed looking through magazines like they did almost every day there wasn't a rehearsal for something. Between Glee, Rachel's extensive vocal training sessions, and homework the two of them rarely had time to do anything. They were both thankful the musical was over for the year; they were both teetering close to utter exhaustion.

However, there was one thing that weighed on Blaine's brain. He had to get it out. It wasn't fair to Rachel and it wasn't fair to him. It was tearing him up since the night of the party. He was absolutely sure he was not straight before then, but he had a moment of clarity, that he was, in fact, gay.

"Rach?" He says just over a whisper. His heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. He's also pretty sure he was going to vomit on his sweater, his mom's spaghetti.

"Yeah?" She replies looking up from her magazine.

"I need to tell you something and I don't know how you're going to take it."

Rachel closed the magazine and gave him her undivided attention. "You know you can tell me anything?"

"I- I'm gay." He said it. He finally uttered the words that he was choking on since he was 12. The world felt like it stopped spinning and time was going backwards. He looked up at Rachel for her reaction.

Rachel just gave him a half smile and took his hands. "Oh sweetie, I knew that. Thank you for telling me."

Blaine was confused. "But? What? If you knew why did you agree to be my girlfriend? And why did we- have sex?" He whispered the last two words, in a vain attempt to not speak it into the universe, like if he didn't mention it, it didn't actually happen.

"Because Blaine, you needed to be sure. I would be lying if I'm not a little disappointed. You're my best friend and I feel safe with you. Also, our children would have perfect pitch and be vaguely interracial. They wouldn't be that tall, but they would be vocally unstoppable. However, my Blainers, you need to live your truth." She got up and kissed his cheek while she went to put on her shoes to leave. "Besides," she winked "imagine the inspiration I'll have for my future on Broadway, having my heartbroken by my first love, because he's gay. It's gold, Blaine, GOLD!"

Blaine chuckled, relief starting to bring his head back to earth. He looked at Rachel's whose face contorted a bit. "Are you okay, Rach?"

"Yea, sorry, just feel a little nauseated all of a sudden. Must have been that mystery meat from lunch. I'll see you later okay?"

Blaine gets up to give his best friend- and now ex- a hug. "Thanks, Rach."

"Always!"

Kurt sat down at his table in the library, ready for an hour of studying. Not that he could get his mind off of the beautiful Tony with the puppy dog eyes. Not that it was of use even fantasizing. He would likely never see the boy, and even if he did, he had plans to get out of this place. Jefferson High wasn't a bad place. He wasn't popular by any means, but he had his friends, he was happy, and he was two months away from graduating. It may not be New York - yet - but it will be soon. Two years at the community college to save some money will do a world of good to get his feet wet. Soon enough, Kurt, soon enough. Now for calculus.

"Who's the best girl in the whole wide world? You are. Yes you are. The bestest girl to ever girl." Sam, Blaine's best guy friend, said in baby talk as he rubbed the lab/pit mix with scrunched up kiss-y lips, giving her kisses on her snout.

"You just like me for my dog, Sam." Blaine chuckled from his seat on the couch.

"It's true." He laughed in reply.

"I see you're spoiling the dog again, Sam." Pam Anderson smiled at the blonde sitting on the floor.

"Always, ma'am."

"How many times do I have to tell you? Don't call me ma'am. It makes me feel old, like a grandma. I'm too young to be a grandma." Pam was without a doubt beautiful and looked younger than her age of 45. She had round honey eyes, much like her youngest son, with her naturally curly hair blown out into soft waves, highlighted with the color of her eyes.

"It's only a matter of time until Coop messes up, Mama." Blaine joked looking up at her from the television.

His mother rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Oh goodness, the world isn't ready for the spawn of Cooper." She looked over to the loveseat. "Rachel, are you staying for dinner?"

Rachel looked up at Pam. "Oh no Mrs. Anderson, I'm not feeling that great. I think I'm actually just going to head home."

Pam looked at her curiously but nodded. "You, Sam?"

"You know it ma- I mean Mrs. A!"

She smiled at the blonde boy who was now lying on the floor with the dog sitting on top of him. She looked back at Blaine. "Alright Baby, get washed up for dinner. Your dad will be home soon. She said as she ruffled his unkempt hair before walking out of the room.

Blaine shook out his hair and got up. "I'll walk you out, Rach." Rachel followed him and hugged him at the door. "You okay, Rach?"

Rachel definitely looked a bit worse for wear. Her skin was a bit paler than normal and she looked like she hadn't slept the night before. "Oh, I'm okay, I think I just over extended myself a bit. I'm skipping my dance session today and just heading to bed."

"If you're sure. Text me when you get home." Rachel nodded and left. He watched to make sure she got in her car before shutting the door behind her. He smiled. He felt much lighter since telling Rachel, then Sam, and finally his parents. He worried that they might look at him differently, but neither did. They told him that they loved him and that nothing would change that.

Several hours later his mother sat down in his bed next to him. "Hey Baby, I want to talk to you about something."

Blaine paused the show he was watching and looked up at his mother. This was his favorite version of his mother. Curls free and in a messy bun with his dad's t-shirt and pajama pants on. "What's up, Ma?"

"Did anything happen with you and Rachel?"

Blaine immediately felt a ball of nausea in his stomach. "What do you mean?"

"I know you guys were dating before you came out to us. Did anything happen?"

Blaine's face was flushed with embarrassment. He couldn't form words if he wanted to. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with his mom.

"Blaine, did you and Rachel have sex?" That was it. This is where Blaine wanted to disappear. This is where he dies. He looked down; sure his mother could probably feel the heat from his ears. He nodded meekly. She ran her hand through his hair and rested it on his head. "Okay." She paused for a moment, not really wanting to have this conversation either. "Were you safe?" Blaine stayed looking down at his lap and nodded. He was pretty sure they were. He honestly couldn't remember. They were pretty drunk. "Are you sure? Rachel didn't look too good."

It was then Blaine looked up at her. "What do you mean? She said she's just tired."

Pam looked Blaine right in the eyes. "I'm sure she is tired, but why is she tired? Is she pregnant, Blaine?"

The knot in Blaine's stomach dropped to his feet. "No! She can't be."

Pam looked back at her son and nodded. "Okay, Baby. Goodnight." She got off the bed and gave him a kiss on the head before walking out of the room.

Blaine just stared blankly at his closed door for a few minutes. Pregnant? Rachel? There was no way.

"And then this puta had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't have more breadsticks. Like, bitch, don't you know the name of the restaurant is Breadstix? She got me twisted." Santana exclaimed. Blaine chuckled because it was always something with Santana. She had a hard exterior but she's really just a scared girl on the inside. He knows it's all an act, but he loves her for who she is, brashness and all.

Blaine was deep in his History notes. Since Mr. Shuester was late, he had a chance to get some extra studying in for his test the next day half listening to his friends. Blaine came out last week and to his relief nothing has changed. Honestly, no one really batted an eye, they just went back to whatever drama was happening with Jacob and the Cheerios at the time.

"I have the perfect song for graduation, guys. We need to start researching as soon as possible so that we can get the harmonies d-" Rachel walked in the room excited about the song she chose and suddenly covered her mouth and ran out of the room mid-word.

"Good shooting Froto." Santana deadpanned, "Looks like those shooters hit straight the first time."

Blaine put his book on the floor. "What are you talking about Santana?"

"A blind man could tell she's knocked up. Princess Perfect is gonna be a mommy."

Blaine was sure he lost the color from his face. He got up and went to go find Rachel in the closest bathroom. He knocked gently on the door.

"Is anyone in here?" He asked through the cracked door.

"Just me." Rachel quietly replied and Blaine went into the restroom.

"Rach." Blaine said as he slid down the wall to sit.

"Oh Blaine, I think we're in trouble." Blaine was silent as the back of his head but the porcelain tile wall, hands clasping his face with the sound of vomiting echoing off the empty walls.

After school Rachel went over Blaine's house with a bag full of supplies Santana went and bought for her hidden in her backpack. Blaine hasn't spoken a word since they left the bathroom. He had picked up his things and told Santana to tell Mr. Schue he wasn't feeling well and left.

Rachel emptied the bag Santana got on Blaine's bathroom counter. There were at least five different tests in there. "Oh my god, which one to use?"

Blaine looked over the boxes scattered on the counter, picking up one. "This one is digital. I mean there's no mistakes."

Rachel nodded as she took the test from Blaine. He left the room and sat down on his bed face in his hands.

After what felt like an eternity, but was actually two minutes later, Rachel came out of the bathroom, eyes bloodshot with tears running down her cheeks. She couldn't even say the words, she just looked at Blaine and nodded before walking over to the bed and collapsing into Blaine's arms.

Rachel left after about an hour. Still no words spoken. Blaine took a shower, put on his pajamas and went to bed. It was his father's second shift day and his mother had dinner plans with some friends so no one would be home for dinner anyway.

He woke up at about nine that night unable to breathe. His fingers were tingling and his heart was racing. He took as deep of a breath as he could and got out of bed, slowly making his way to his mother's room down the hall.

He opened his mother's door where she was in bed on her phone with Forensic Files playing on the TV.

"Hey Baby, ho-" Pam's face dropped when she saw the state her son was in. She put down her phone, moved over and lifted the blanket. "Come here, what's wrong?"

Blaine just laid down in his mom's arms and began to sob. He began crying so hard he hyperventilated. "Momma, I messed up."

Pam just hugged him tighter and whispered, "It will be okay, Baby." She knew. She'd been watching her with a side eye for the past two weeks, and her heart ached for her son. He had so many hopes and dreams. She knew everything would work itself out though. Although he made a mistake, one she blames herself for, she should have been more open with him about these things, but she didn't think that she would have had to worry about a teenage pregnancy with Blaine. Cooper, absolutely. She made sure he was always stocked with condoms. Guess teenagers will be teenagers. She wanted to talk to him, but tonight isn't for words. Tonight was for comfort and protection. She knew Blaine put on a good show of being confident, and put together, inside he's still a scared boy who hasn't had enough life experience to give those traits naturally. She pulled him tighter and gently scratched his head as he sobbed, like she has done since he was two and fell off the couch and broke his collarbone. "Oh, Baby."

It was another week before they actually had time to sit down in private and talk about everything. Unfortunately, that conversation had to happen at school given her schedule. Since 8th period was their study hall they sequestered themselves in the choir room.

Blaine was terrified of this conversation. They can't have a baby. He's a junior in high school and she's been accepted to NYADA in New York. She leaves in four months. You can't go to one of the most prestigious arts schools pregnant. He couldn't imagine her having an abortion. He was completely pro-choice, but it's so much more complicated when you're in the situation. They could put the baby up for adoption. But ultimately the choice was Rachel's. He'll support her with whatever she wants to do.

"So." Blaine said, making eye contact with Rachel.

"So." Rachel takes a deep breath before continuing. "Blaine, we can't have a baby."

Blaine doesn't quite know what he's feeling. Relief? Grief? A combination of the two? "What do you want to do?"

"I think, I think we should give her up for adoption. I talked with my dads and I know I'll have to defer my acceptance into NYADA, but she deserves a life with a family that maybe can't have children. We just can't have a baby. Our lives would be ruined."

"Okay. If that's what you want, I'm here for you." He said arms outstretched for a hug.

"Thank you, Blaine. I'm glad that at least I'm in this nightmare with you."

Blaine held her and kissed the top of her head. So, they weren't going to have a baby. But, is that what he really wants?

It would be a lie if Kurt said he wasn't excited for Finn's graduation to hopefully get a glimpse at the doe eyed Tony again. He could have easily asked Finn about him, but where's the fun in that. He's not looking for a relationship, he's trying to get out of this state, not get tied down to it. Besides, he's tried the whole relationship thing before, a few times. In the end he breaks the hearts before his can get broken. He's a bird, he needs to fly free.

Kurt, his father, and his stepmother got comfortable in their seats just as Finn and their parents did the night before for his own graduation, all three smiling wide as Finn and his classmate, a short brunette with a stunning voice, sang It's So Hard To Say Goodbye (To Yesterday), by Boyz II Men.

That night Kurt took off on a direct flight to New York City. He opted for a vacation rather than the big party. Finn was having a party with all his friends, but he wanted to see the city of his dreams especially since he has to wait to move out there.

Blaine took a break from the crowded graduation party. Finn's parents were gracious enough to host the New Directions party at their house. He was having a good time, but with the backyard packed with all the members of the New Directions and their families, minus Rachel and her dads, he was beginning to feel suffocated. Finn's mom said to make himself at home in the living room for a while if he needed a break. Carole was a lovely woman, she instantly made him feel at home. He looked around at the pictures decorating the room and one caught his eye. It was Finn and another boy with brown hair and strong features. That must be the brother that Finn talks about. He was breathtakingly beautiful, and he knew he was gay based on what Finn has said, but he shook it off. There no use lusting. That's not his life right now.

**TRIGGER**

The world stopped moving. The sky was dark and red and blue flashing lights glittered the sky. It was like everything was moving in slow motion. He was gone, but the scene was still active. The last 30 minutes play over in his head like a nightmare.

It was 9:38 PM and everyone was getting ready to turn in for the night. Carole was texting Finn to make sure that he called her to check in.

Love you, call me when you're in for the night. - Mom

No sooner did she hit send that she got the call.

"Hello?" She tentatively answered the unknown caller. "This is she." Within seconds she was crumpled to the floor begging 'no'. Kurt and Burt drop what they were doing and look toward her. They knew. The plate that Kurt was holding fell to the floor shattering as quickly as his family just did.

"What is it?" Burt choked seeing his wife drop her phone to the floor.

"It's Finn. There was an accident. He- he's gone."

Burt and Carole went to the hospital to identify Finn and to say their goodbyes. Kurt couldn't bear to do it. He went to the scene of the accident. He wasn't sure why he was going, he felt compelled to, like when he got there, he would find out it was a dream. He would realize that this wasn't happening. He walks up to the tape almost in a daze. They covered the scene, but he saw a lone sneaker poking out from underneath the tarp. He had bought those sneakers for Finn for his birthday. It was then he collapsed onto the street not even giving a second thought to how expensive his outfit was.

The next thing he knew he was in the backseat of Officer Lopez's cruiser. He knew Officer Lopez from his dad's shop. It was so surreal, he just stared blankly at the painful slow flicker of red and blue against the seat in front of him.

He heard bits and pieces of the conversations going on around him. "Hit and run." "Drunk driver." "Just out of a run." "Didn't stand a chance." His brother, his best friend was gone and he's never coming back. His life was stolen in his prime.

Kurt vomited all over the back of the cruiser before he passed out.

**END TRIGGER**

The funeral was graveside. Blaine still felt like he couldn't breathe. He and Finn weren't best friends by any means, but they were friends nonetheless. They had just gone for a jog the night before his death. They talked in detail about the baby, what Blaine was feeling, about life in general. Finn was his only friend, besides Sam, they actually asked him how he felt with everything and if he was okay. Finn felt that jogs at night were best to clear his head and he felt that Blaine needed to get out a bit. They would usually spend their jog joking about dating, their futures, the latest Buckeyes game. The night before Finn died was the last jog the two of them went on.

"Come on Blaine, it's hard now, but it will be okay."

"I just feel stuck right now, like the world isn't turning anymore."

"Eh, you just need to find your moose."

"Moose? You mean muse?" Blaine chuckled through his heavy breathing.

"Yea, muse. Blaine you're awesome, you just have to see it before anyone else can."

After that, the two went on to discuss that Finn had finally decided what he was going to do with his life. He was going to be a teacher. He was applying to the local university. Their glee club teacher was a major role model for Finn and he wanted to be that for someone else. When they got back to their meeting/rendevous point Blaine pat Finn on the back and asked them to take a selfie. The two smiled, sweat running down their skin, faces flushed and hair wet and took a picture.

"To the first night of the rest of our lives." Finn said.

And just like that he was gone. A young man, just older than a boy, who just found his passion and his direction in life was gone. A life cut short because someone thought it was okay to get behind the wheel. Just like that, the world went dark.

The morning after he heard the news he printed the picture with the words "You just need to find your moose" written on the bottom. He put it up on the mantel in the living room both as a reminder of what everyone lost that day and to give him the courage to keep going.

Blaine sat beside Rachel during the service, both of them wearing large dark sunglasses, like the majority of the other mourners. Santana and Rachel both offered to sing for the service. Carole graciously accepted their offers. It was a last chance at holding onto something that Finn loved. Rachel went first singing Make You Feel My Love. There was not a dry eye to be seen when she finished. Santana followed it up, shoulder to shoulder with Rachel. She wore a beautiful white dress with pearls and began to sing If I Die Young. Halfway through the song she broke down and ran off. The heart wrenching sob sucked the breath out of everyone in attendance. The deafening silence marred only by choked back sobs.

Blaine didn't miss Finn's brother running off as well.

The months passed slowly following Finn's death. It impacted him more than he thought it would. They still hadn't caught the person who hit him, and it was likely that they never would and that cuts like a knife. You get to take the life of a young man in his prime and continue to live your life. It's unconscionable.

Rachel told him that Finn's stepfather was running for Congress on the platform of harsher punishments for intoxicated drivers and he knew for sure he would be voting for him.

Blaine went to every appointment with Rachel, her father's being supportive of her, but not his biggest fan. He understood, he couldn't say he would be happy with the boy who impregnated his teenage daughter either. If they were being honest; however, it's just as likely that they want to put an emotional wall up to try to protect some of the heartache.

The anatomy scan came and went. The baby was healthy and growing well. Ten fingers and then toes with a perfect heartbeat. They opted to not find out the sex because it made it easier to not connect.

They decided to have a closed adoption. They would sign papers at the hospital, and they hoped that she would go to a good family. It hurt too much to go through the process of an open adoption, finding and interviewing potential parents. It overwhelmed them to the point that they couldn't breathe.

Rachel stayed at home for the most part during the fall. Blaine went to school and came home. His life playing on repeat. His mother watched from the distance; heartbroken that she couldn't help her boy. Both his parents cried late at night when Blaine was fast asleep, never allowing him to see the hurt in their eyes.

It was nearly midnight when the announcement went around the party. "It's official! It's my honor to introduce Ohio's new 4th District Congressman, Burt Hummel!" The energy in the room was intense and the cheers almost deafening for being in such a small room.

Kurt was proud of his father. A small-town mechanic flipped the 4th Congressional district of Ohio blue on a write in ballot campaign. The country didn't go as blue as they hoped for, especially considering the state of the Senate and President. As happy as he was, it was bittersweet. He wishes that he could celebrate this with Finn, but they wouldn't be in the room if it weren't for Finn's loss. He knew that Finn was out there, somewhere, holding onto his mother's hand and patting Burt on the back.

Kurt's boyfriend, Robert, hugged him in celebration. He halfheartedly smiled and looked back up to his dad.

Today is the beginning of their new normal.

Thanksgiving Eve found Blaine and Rachel in the delivery room at Lima Memorial Hospital. Both sets of parents anxious in the waiting room. Firstly, to make sure everyone was healthy and secondly to say goodbye.

At 1:32 PM, after six hours and twenty-four minutes of laboring at the hospital, "It's a girl!" rang through the air, her cries filling a part of Blaine's soul that he didn't even know was empty. Rachel held her for a few minutes, but gave her to Blaine very quickly, silent tears flowing down her cheeks.

Blaine took the tiny bundle, only seven pounds and three ounces, wrapped in her little pink blanket with a matching hat adorned with pink and white curling ribbon. He watched as her little lips pursed and she rooted towards him. This was the moment that people spoke about. This was the moment that people wrote movies about. This was the moment that he never knew he even needed. He never knew love could feel like this. It was in this moment that his dreams all changed. At this moment his only dream was seeing this little girl grow up. He envisioned her laughing in the sun while having a tea party with her toys. In his vision he saw who else was playing tea party, it was him. He had on one of his grandmother's church hats and he was drinking tea with his pinky out, the little girl smiling back at him. This was it, he find his moose.

He knew then what he had to do. "Rachel. I- I can't do it. I can't give her up."

My missing puzzle piece, I'm complete.

Thanks for sticking around if you're here. I'm far from the most prolific writer this amazing fandom has/had and this is unbeaten but we all need an escape. Also, Finn passed in this way in my story because a family member of mine died last year in Columbus, Ohio and his name was Kurt. He was hit by a hit and run driver while on his morning jog. We all assume the driver was drunk. So all you cool cats and kittens, please don't ever drink and drive. Always have someone that will come get you, get an uber, call a cab. Just please don't ever get behind that wheel drunk. You never know who could be the victim of your bad decisions.