Lift the Spirit

by JLATS

Elsa and Honeymaren recently married, Anna and Kristoff now have a 2nd child, Arendelle and Northuldra are at peace... Everything is perfect. Until dark magic creatures start to attack... Is Elsa the target? / Elsamaren, Snow Sisters, Kristanna / Sequel to "In the eye of the storm". / Like my style? Search for "Untangling the Frozen Knots book" on Google :D / image by thisblizzahrd

7. I'm holding on tight to you

Chapter 7: I'm holding on tight to you

"I can't touch you!"

Anna rose her hands in an innocent gesture. "I was just getting close to inspect the goo. I swear."

She crouched on the floor next to the puddle of slimy and sticky black ink that was produced by dark magic, and winced. She was roamed by sadness and disgust; it undoubtedly was the same texture than the one of the monsters and attacks Victor used.

Elsa noticed her shiver, and stepped back quickly.

"This is terrible. This is horrible. This can't be happening, right?"

Her breathing was quick again, too quick, and she started another anxiety attack. Anna stood up to mimic a slow inhale and exhale to guide her on a better path.

"Calm down... Slowly... There. Good." She smiled when Elsa retrieved a normal breathing, though still clenched her hands. "When you went here in a panicked fury, did you touch objects? Like door handles or stuff?"

"Yes, lots of them." Immediately replied Elsa.

In fact, she had only grabbed two, but her brain wasn't working in her favor. "Why, do you think it's bad? Do you think I infected them? Do you think I should have stayed in the room?"

"Elsa. Listen to me. Did those objects freeze? I mean, did they turn into goo, or, I don't know, burned from the acid matter?"

The elder stared at her for a long time. "...No."

Anna smiled. "See?"

Elsa looked down at her hands. "But…" She couldn't help worrying. "That's not even a proof of how dangerous it can be! You know how bad this magic is! You've seen the damage it can do! You've seen how it hurt you!"

Anna still had some pain at her injury, so she knew it well.

"Yes, which is why we are lucky that you're an expert."

"...Me? An expert?" Blabbered Elsa.

The Queen nodded with a confident smile. "You have to admit that, if it were the first time you had magic, and you weren't born with a type of magic, or didn't master it for nearly 20 years now, you'd have done much worse by the time we're talking."

That was a crude fact, but Anna was right. And Elsa worked well with logic and reason. She eventually nodded, unsure at first, but then resolutely.

"Good. Listen, I'm obviously not giving up on you. We'll tell Maren, and try to solve it together."

The calm face Elsa had the second that preceded flew away, and her face now got pale with fear.

"NO! No, we can't tell her! I can't- She can't see me in such a… Magic!" Stuttered Elsa, not even making sense with her panic. "I don't… She'll be scared! I don't want to fright her!"

"She won't be scared, Elsa, that's certain, I swear on my life…"

"She can't know!" Yelled Elsa, insistent.

Right when the redhead was about to reply, a knock sounded at the door. It was too high for it to be from one of the children, too soft for it to be from Kristoff, and too long for it to be from the staff.

The sisters widened their eyes.

"Damn, she has the sense of timing." Muttered Anna.

She turned around. "One second, Maren."

She then turned again to her elder, raising a calming hand. "Stay here."

"Where would I go?" Murmured Elsa. She had even walked back to a corner of the room, like a wounded and scared animal.

Anna opened the door, went to the corridor, and immediately closed the door behind her. That instantly troubled Honeymaren.

"What's going on?"

The Queen sighed. "At least a thousand things right now. I really need a vacation."

"Anna."

"Sorry. Look, I… I can't let you enter."

Honeymaren crossed her arms and gave her a look that meant 'With this order, I want even more to come in.'

"What are you hiding?"

Anna hated to lie, so she winced. "It's something she doesn't want you to know."

New expression from Honeymaren. 'Okay, now I REALLY need to come in.'

Anna blocked her way. "Please, Maren, she needs time."

The Northuldra leader stared at her with defying bright chestnut irises.

"Given your face, that isn't something positive she wants to hide from me, like a gift surprise or whatever. Something is wrong, I can sense it. Let me enter, Anna, or I twist your wrist."

The redhead bit her lip. Not that she wouldn't sacrifice a wrist to protect her sister, but she was raising her main hand, and she needed it to write.

"You have to understand, she's panicking and…"

"And she needs me, more than she thinks. Trust me, whatever it is, let me in."

"I'd prefer-"

"Mama, can you come read me a bedtime story?" Asked an adorable voice up the corridor.

Isak was looking at her from the stairs as Kristoff was bringing the children to bed.

"Uhm, later, sweetheart, mama's a bit busy at the moment- MAREN!"

The brunette cleverly took advantage of this distraction to run past Anna and enter the room in one swift move. Everything next happened in less than three seconds and yet felt like forever; Honeymaren barged in, looking for her wife, then saw her retracted in a corner, so she expected an injury, so she looked around for blood, and when she saw the puddle of dark goo, she widened her eyes. Anna entered right behind Honeymaren, twirling in her green dress, tried to catch the brunette in vain, then closed the door behind her, then nearly got bumped over when Honeymaren stepped back from the dark magic to the door. And at last but not least, Elsa panicked when her lover entered, her face turning pale, and tried to go as far as possible from her, wishing there wasn't a wall behind her but an open space where she could run forever and never turn back.

"Elsa…"

"Honey, no!"

"Maren, COME HERE!"

A silence then ironically fell once they all finished talking. It stayed for a long time, until it got interrupted by the sound of the flooring cracking at Honeymaren's steps to her wife.

"No, stay back!"

The Northuldra instantly froze. Oh. "You don't want to be touched?"

"Stay where you are." Murmured Elsa. Her voice was wavy, and indeed, she started to cry at the first blink. First she had been frightened for Anna, and now her wife was in the secrecy as well. Her heart felt like exploding.

"P-please don't come near."

"I won't." Stated Honeymaren.

She even stepped back, and Anna was stunned. Her simple sentence and posture was filled with respect, and consent. She admired how perfect the woman was to be Elsa's wife, but it wasn't time for this kind of thought. She shook her head.

"Maren, she has…" The redhead gulped, struggling to say the words.

"Dark magic."

Both sisters blinked at how fast she understood. After all, she was clever, and linking one element on the floor to another was easy.

"You have dark magic. Mother Ahtohallan, you have dark magic."

Only now she realized how bad that was. It was like she had accepted the fact, but got shocked by it in retrospect.

"You have dark magic."

"Yeah, you said that ten times already." Grumbled Anna.

Honeymaren exhaled to brace herself. Elsa sniffed from where she was, her face covered with tears, so Honeymaren gave her a loving gaze.

"Do you still have your ice and snow magic?"

Elsa gulped before answering.

"Y-yes."

"Good."

At that 'good', Anna understood that Honeymaren had been asking this in a 'Do you still have that amazing asset that makes you you, that makes you complete, that makes you the most amazing person in the world?' way.

"So you have both magic? You can feel them both in your veins?"

Elsa nodded frankly, like a terrorised child.

Anna loved the way the Northuldra was asking questions so tenderly.

"Okay. How does it feel?" Inquired Honeymaren.

A silence followed. While Elsa searched for her words, her lover got afraid to have crossed boundaries. "Tell us only if you want to talk about it. It's really fine if you don't."

The blonde gave her a confident azure gaze. "It feels like… Like there's something in me, but it's not really belonging. Like… Like it's foreign, and I feel it as an intrusion, even as a virus."

"Oh, like when you have the flu." Noted Anna.

Elsa looked at her silently, clueless.

"Right, you never had the flu." Winced the Queen.

She felt stupid for that intervention, but Elsa straightened up. "It does feel like a disease. It's like a parasite, and it's infecting me."

Both women nodded. That was an understandable sensation, and they could imagine what she felt like.

"And it feels like I don't have a right over it…" Muttered Elsa, and her face twisted in a sob again, then she cried loudly.

She curled on the floor, her legs bent and knees against her.

"This is all happening again… Losing control… Being scared of my powers…"

"No, Elsa, calm down…" Said Honeymaren, crouching to be on her eye level.

The blonde ran her hands through her hair, her breathing speeding up. "This is a living nightmare! I should have known that it would come back as a loop."

"Elsa, those powers aren't yours!"

"But I still HAVE THEM!" Exclaimed the blonde.

Anna frowned with determination. "Indeed, and you should give it back to their rightful owner."

"I can't just give his magic back to him!" Blurted Elsa.

"It's not giving, it's returning!" Nuanced Anna. "The dark magic was his in the first place!"

"We're talking about magic, Anna, not things! It's not like a book you can borrow, then hand back!" Trembled Elsa.

Honeymaren raised her hands to calm the two sisters. "Hey, hey. Easy. You two have points. Anna is right, it's Victor's doing and he should pay for his action, even if it was unintentional. Nevertheless, Elsa is right too; magic isn't meant to be imposed - even if, yes, it's kind of what happened - besides, you don't even know how to transfer magic, do you?"

"No. And I never want to learn." Frowned Elsa.

"Alright."

At least she was holding firm to her convictions.

Anna massaged the top of her nose. "We couldn't even talk to him anyway. His trial is tomorrow morning, and our policy is that the accused don't get visits during the preceding 12 hours."

Honeymaren sighed. "And he's the only person who can give us answers."

"We'll have to wait the end of his trial to ask him anything."

A silence followed, and the three women looked at each other nervously. Anna cleared her throat.

"Could you, uh... Make something else out of dark magic, to testify it? To make sure that you have his entire power?"

Elsa widened alarmed eyes. "No! I don't want to use this magic ever again."

Anna gulped. "Okay. Yeah, I get that. Sorry for asking."

Elsa consented to stand up, though she remained in her corner.

The Queen was about to step further and help her stand up, then remembered that she didn't want to be touched. She felt awkward, and pretended to have raised her hand to tuck some hair strands behind her ear.

Honeymaren smiled tenderly.

"Come on, Elsa, it's time to go to bed. You're tired, and most of your thoughts now are because of fatigue. Let's go to our room."

Elsa raised sad eyes to her.

"Actually… I wish to sleep alone tonight."

"What?" Gasped the brunette.

"Please."

Anna dropped her jaw. "Elsa, you can't-"

"Please." Begged the Fifth Spirit. "I'll just stay in this room."

The redhead sighed. "Elsa, you know that this is exactly the wrong behavior to have."

The elder saw her mistake.

"You're right. Then… Leave the door open. I just need some time alone. And it's better that I don't sleep with someone."

The two other nodded, because it was a logical caution, and she didn't seem like she was hiding something or lying.

"I'll sleep on the couch. Don't worry for me."

"Fine." Smiled Honeymaren, though it was forced, because she didn't like to spend any night without Elsa by her side.

She gulped. "Then… At least let me prepare the couch for you?"

Elsa blinked, and for a moment, her deep love for her wife overpassed the sheer panic that hadn't left her features since she found out about the other magic in her veins.

"Y-yeah, sure."

Honeymaren smiled, unsure if this stuttering was due to fear or emotion. She carefully walked around the couch from the other side to not walk near her lover, and settled the cushions and backrests in the comfiest way. Anna smiled too, the sight making her forget the drastic decision her sister had taken.

It's by knowing her so well that they soon left her alone in the room, with the door opened, because they had enough experience to tell that she needed to be alone with her thoughts as quick as possible. But it's by knowing her so well that, when they walked in the corridor together, they exchanged a look; Elsa would most likely not close her eyes for the whole night.

---

On the following day, the trial of Victor Eiglatson attracted a lot of people, who were allowed to be present in the council hall because it was public. Above the bench of committee people, Anna and Kristoff were seated side by side on throne-like carved chairs, surrounded on one side by Eydis, and on the other, by Honeymaren, and… An empty chair. Elsa hadn't showed up.

They waited a long time, but at one point the trial had to start, and Victor had been taken to the stand - booed by the crowd. They couldn't cancel just because Lady Elsa, who had stopped being Queen for more than 15 years now, was absent.

Anna wondered what was going on. Her elder hadn't been much talkative at breakfast, but at least she had seen her, and she seemed okay. Why wasn't she here?

Eydis saw her mother's worry, so she whispered something to her ear and exited the room quickly before the trial started.

The young blonde didn't wander for too long, however, and found Elsa exactly where she suspected it: in the castle's gardens.

"Ha! I knew I would find you here."

Elsa startled at the voice of her niece behind her.

"Eydis! What are you doing here?" She grunted, clenching her hands on the stone of the bench she was seating on.

"Woops, that's a cold welcome. Sorry."

The Snow Queen sighed. "No, I'm the one who's sorry. You gave me such a fright, this could have been so much worse."

The princess grinned as she sat on the grass in front of her, respecting some distance. "Honeymaren once told me that you freeze stuff when she spooks you. I didn't trust her, but now I do. Yet, nothing happened! That's quite positive, as you are afraid of losing control."

Elsa's lips stretched in a smile, then it became large and warm. The children had been told about her current situation earlier in the day, and the princess was reacting in the best way. Eydis truly had inherited the kindness and goodwill of her mother and the wisdom and logic of her father. She looked at her tenderly.

"What are you doing here, little rascal?" She asked with a smile, seeing how her niece was laying back in the grass and enjoying the sunlight in front of her.

"Mother was worried to not see you at the trial. It has started, you know? Meh, you have a good notion of time, I'm sure you purposely didn't plan to go. So, I suggested to go search for you. It's alright if you don't wanna go, I'll just keep an eye on you. How are you?"

Elsa blushed. When would this family stop being so perfect?

"I'm… I'm fine."

Eydis tilted her head exaggeratedly, in a 'Yeah, sure.' manner. The Snow Queen looked elsewhere awkwardly.

"How were you so sure to find me here?"

The princess grinned proudly. "You don't look like it, but you're actually fond of Nature. Even if you love the castle, you also love green, uhm? I mean, the grass. And flowers. And those gardens are really quiet and peaceful, as they're only for royals. Tranquility and trees, without feeling like you're hiding? Perfect for you."

Elsa's jaw went down at that clever analysis. A silence passed. "You're really good."

Her niece giggled. "Thanks."

Another silence passed, and she played with the grass blades. "Sooo… What are you doing here?"

Elsa looked down.

"I couldn't find the strength. I… I can't go to Victor's trial. I just can't. Not only it gives me the feeling that the council will judge me, but I also don't want to hear directly the death sentence he will receive."

Eydis winced. Even if they couldn't tell how the trial would end yet, it was obvious that Victor would be dead in less than two days from now.

"And to know that the person I actually need to talk to, is a criminal who also deserves a death sentence…"

The Fifth Spirit sighed in a whining way.

"This is a lot of emotion to take in. In fact, I don't know if it's worth it for me to address that to you, it's ridiculous..."

Eydis shook her head. "Don't cower in a corner. You need someone to talk to."

Elsa blinked in astonishment. "What makes you say that?"

The young blonde smiled tenderly. "I got your childhood plushie when I was little, remember? Mother told me that he was a really good listener."

Elsa's sad face melted in a smile. "Sir Jorgenbjorgen…"

She kind of missed him. Not that she needed a plush to cuddle to, or someone she could talk to anytime she felt in a bad mood - Honeymaren actually was really good for both of those - but she missed that time as a child when she could talk to a friend and they would not reply back. She would never dare to say it out loud, but that was Sir Jorgenbjorgen's main quality: he listened carefully, absorbed her tears and fears, and never commented on anything. And unfortunately, it was exactly what all of her family members had done until now.

Her tender expression switched to a frown. Why were they always giving their opinion? It was her body, her choices. If she wanted to be sad, they should let her be sad. If she said that there was no hope, and she was a monster now, she was right. Why didn't they accept that?

"You really don't want to see me sad, uh?"

Eydis thought that the question was sarcastic, and not heartbroken, so she chuckled. "Nope. I want my aunt to always be smiling."

A wince from the blonde was all she got in return.

"You think I can just choose when to be happy?"

"No, that's not what I meant…" Frowned the princess.

"You think I have chosen those powers? You think I have even chosen my own ice and snow powers? You think I fully accepted them, before I finally, finally understood what they were meant to be? I never asked for new powers, I never asked for anything, in fact!"

Eydis startled at how Elsa's voice has arose. Her breathing had gone heavy, loud, and her eyes were staring at her with an intensity that made her shiver. Elsa's hands started to tremble, and she gulped.

"This conversation is stressing me out. Forget about it."

She suddenly stood up from the bench.

"Where are you going?" Blinked Eydis.

"Away."

"This is not the solution!" Frowned her niece.

"What if it is? Stop acting like you know me!" Grunted Elsa.

Eydis was stunned by that sentence, and felt sorry. "I didn't mean to upset you…"

"Don't follow me." Grumbled the Snow Queen, seeing that she had stood up and was going after her through the gardens.

"Wait, I'm sure you need someone to confess to…"

"None of you all could understand!" Yelled her aunt, glancing over her shoulder as she kept walking, rapidly, Eydis trotting behind her.

"Maybe we can try! Why do you think we can't help you?"

"Because none of you knows what it's like to have MAGIC!"

Elsa had violently twirled around at that yelling, her body jerking and releasing all the anger and frustration she had been holding since the night before. She had rose her hands in exasperation, and out of her palms suddenly spurted two fast bolts of dark black goo, jolting through the air. The splashes whistled as they raced through the distance between them, flying up the sky… But one of them had Eydis on the way.

The princess widened her eyes and the same time than Elsa did, and thanked her agile reflexes and training sessions to dodge and avoid the blow. The dark magic shot whistled right next to her ear, and continued its course up the sky like the other.

Elsa's azure blue eyes were fixed on Eydis as the latter straightened with a grunt, and the Fifth Spirit was terrorised by what had just happened.

The head. She had hit her at the head.

"No, no no…" Muttered Elsa.

Eydis looked at her and noticed how colors had left her aunt's cheeks, and how her bottom lip was trembling.

"What, did you-" Gasped the young girl, and she rose a hand to where she had heard the sound above her ear, touching and palpating her scalp.

She however didn't feel anything. No tingling, no stinging, no burn, no frostbite.

"It's okay, you actually haven't touched me." Scoffed Eydis, and she couldn't hide relief in her voice. "See? No need to panic."

Sadly, and it was predictable, her words had no effect on Elsa. She stared at her with wide eyes, pale face and clenched hands.

"I'm fine, I promise. Look!"

The princess exaggeratedly rubbed her head and showed her open hand. "See? No blood. It doesn't even hurt. It went really fast near my head, that's all!"

But the Snow Queen had already turned around and run away in a sob.

"No, Auntie! ELSA!"

Her calls echoed in the gardens, but in vain.

---

When the others went out of the council hall once the trial was over, Honeymaren went looking around for Elsa to announce that justice had been served and Victor would face the ultimate sentence: hanged for his crimes. Only, after exiting the empty guest bedroom where she had expected to find her, and crossing ways with Anna who also was searching for her to ask why she didn't come to the trial, they had to conclude that something was very wrong.

"Mother! Auntie!"

Eydis ran in the corridor to them, and both women had alarmed eyes when they saw her panting. Their eyes went even wider when Eydis explained in detail what had happened while they were busy elsewhere. Luckily, the teenager was better at explaining than her mother who had a tendency to digress, so she went to the point quickly. When she finished her telling, Anna's eyes widened with terror.

"The head… Oh no."

A flash of memory came to her mind. A memory of the moment when, as the two sisters were exploring Ahtohallan, they had bumped over an ice statue visual of that terrible time when Elsa had struck her child self at the head. And Anna remembered distinctly the impact that the sole sight had on Elsa.

"But I'm fine. She didn't even scratch me." Stated Eydis. "Now, try to convince her of that… I swear to her I was alright, but she ran away as fast as Gale. She really needs to teach me how to have her stamina."

Honeymaren didn't have the time to comment on that. Kristoff arrived in the corridor, with the same run and same exhaustion than his daughter.

"I found her. She's in the first floor living-room. Clever choice: that would be the last spot we would look for."

The Northuldra leader was immediately on her way. "I'll handle it. Anna, how about you prepare the best hot chocolate you've ever made?"

The Queen nodded at this great idea. "Got it."

In a rush, Honeymaren went upstairs, glad she now knew the castle by heart to head to the living room without hesitation. She evened her breathing once she faced the door, and knocked gently. Anna had a specific pattern to be recognized, but she didn't. Nevertheless, she knew that Elsa would tell it's her.

"Come in." Said a weak voice from inside.

Honeymaren prayed Ahtohallan that the room would not feel ice cold when she entered, but thankfully, it was lukewarm. Her eyes didn't have to search for long; Elsa was looking through the window, her arms crossed, slightly curled on herself. Even if she only saw her back, the brunette knew this posture too well, so she closed the door and approached slowly.

"I suppose that it's stupid to ask you if you're okay, so… I'll rather ask you if you want to talk about it."

"I can."

That's all Elsa said, however. She fidgeted with her hands, and Honeymaren could see in the reflection of the glass that she was trying her best not to cry.

However, those were upcoming anger tears. She also noticed by the Fifth Spirit's moves that she was very nervous.

"Elsa, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Repeated the blonde in a shriek, like Honeymaren had lost her mind. She kept watching by the window. "I almost hurt Eydis!"

"Yes, you almost did. So you didn't. What is upsetting you?"

Elsa let out a long sigh. Why was everyone reading in her like an open book now? She wanted to focus her anger on the fact she nearly injured her niece, and now she had to admit out loud that she was nervous about something else.

"Why are you so enraged?" Inquired the Northuldra.

"BECAUSE THIS IS UNFAIR!"

She had screamed that with a twirl as she turned to her wife, her outfit floating with her move. Honeymaren startled when she saw that Elsa had in fact already been crying, traces of her previous anger present on her pale cheeks. The hands she had clenched to avoid a second accident now went to her face to bury it in her palms.

She then slowly ran her fingers in her hair with a sigh.

"This is unfair. This is unfair that I spent so much time loving, accepting and developing my magic, to eventually have to start over today with a magic that is totally alien to me. Look now, I don't even know what I'm doing."

"Elsa, my snømus… This wasn't your act. The Elsa I know is now able to control her temper, and is in perfect harmony with her powers. It's because you can't control those powers yet."

The blonde peeked at her from her palms. "But how can you know? Don't take it bad, but you weren't there when I struggled as a teen. You wouldn't understand."

Honeymaren kept her sincere and soft smile. "I fully understand, love. Don't forget that I've seen numerous memories of your childhood in Ahtohallan, and that Anna is a very talkative person who talked to me about the pressure you had when you grew up, and after the Great Thaw."

Elsa's lips trembled.

"Yet you said it yourself. The Elsa you know. Now this is all… Ruined. I have to handle those new powers, just like I had to handle my own ice and snow powers long ago… I have to start from scratch."

"And yet you became the wonderful person you are today. Hey, Elsa, look at me. Think logically. With your experience, it will even be less difficult, less painful, and you'll also have us to support and help you. All of us."

The brunette gestured to the family portrait hanging on the wall of the living room, where Anna, Kristoff, Eydis and Isak were represented. Elsa looked at it. It had been painted to celebrate Isak's birth and arrival in the royal family, and he was still a baby in his joyful mother's arms. One could see in his tiny eyes then the same spark he had today. Indeed, even Isak had been supportive to Elsa's current situation at breakfast that morning.

Nevertheless, the Fifth Spirit's mind was filled with dark thoughts, and her mouth twisted again.

"I don't deserve any of you."

She sobbed again, holding her arms and curling on herself.

Honeymaren sighed at how inefficient her sentences had been, and she walked forward.

"What are you doing?" Frowned Elsa, stepping back urgently to keep her distance.

She nearly bumped into the window doing so. Honeymaren raised her hands. "I'm not coming to you. I need to sit down."

Elsa's frown turned to worried knotted eyebrows as she settled on the couch. "Sit down? Why?"

The brunette let out a scoff. "You're not the only one who's struggling through this, you know. Every second that pass, I wish I were able to do something to help you, but I can't. I'm a mere mortal with no magical powers, and the lack of solution is making me sick."

A silence passed.

The Snow Queen looked down at her hands, like she could see the dark magic roaming under her skin there, and she clenched her fists.

"Honeymaren…"

The Northuldra frowned.

"Yes?"

She had some concern in her voice. Elsa rarely called her by her full name, and it sometimes meant that she was about to say something that she wouldn't like.

When she saw that the blonde averted eye contact and fidgeted with her hands again, she got the proof that her suspicions were correct.

"Due to the fact I'm not fully myself… And changed forever with dark magic… I would understand if you decide to not be with me anymore. Or even… Divorce."

Honeymaren widened her eyes and lifted her eyebrows so much that they disappeared behind her fringe.

"Woaw."

She blinked.

"I hated everything in this sentence."

Elsa looked up to her, and felt so ashamed that her eyes instantly glittered with tears.

They stared at each other for long seconds.

"And you're serious."

"Of course I am." Frowned Elsa. "Why would I joke about that?"

Honeymaren's jaw hung loose, and she had a nervous scoff. "Elsa. I'm your wife. I love you. More than that, we swore each other's eternal fidelity and support. You really think that you're not the same person anymore? And that for this reason, I would leave you?"

The blonde lowered her gaze in silence, and the Northuldra was shocked to see that she didn't reconsider her words.

"This got to be a dream." Muttered Honeymaren. "No. A nightmare. That's it. That can't be real."

Elsa frowned again, and opened her mouth to be insistent, but Honeymaren cut her by standing up.

"Elsa, do you realize what you just told me?"

The Fifth Spirit curled on herself once more. "It took me all night to find out how to tell you, so yes."

The brunette's heart fell in her chest. "It kept you awake all night?"

Elsa had a nervous laugh. "Like I could find sleep."

She saw that Honeymaren was about to scold her based on her expression. "Don't even lecture me. I'm sure you couldn't sleep either." Retorted the blonde.

The Northuldra leader stomped her foot. "Yes, because I'm thinking of a way to help my wife! Not to get away from her!"

She took a long inhale and breathed out, calming herself down. "Elsa, dear…"

The eyes she gave to her were filled with warmth.

"I love you more than anything in the entire universe. Which you taught me about, by the way. You're literally the person who unveiled the world to me. Why in Ahtohallan's name would I ever abandon you?"

Elsa stared at her silently, then her expression crumbled, and she could not see Honeymaren sharply anymore because she burst in tears. Her knees buckled and she slid along the window to the floor.

Honeymaren's soul got torn to see her in such a state, but she could tell that it would make everything worse if she touched Elsa without her consent now.

So she simply came closer and kneeled in front of her while the blonde cried loudly, in a mix of emotion, anger and relief.

"Anna made some hot chocolate. We'll go down when you're ready."

---

Drinking and eating did some good to Elsa. Near the end of lunch, they all were informed by a messenger that Victor had been placed back to his cell by the soldiers and was waiting for his sentence on the next morning.

Kristoff thanked the man, and they quickly finished eating to go visit him, something that Anna, Honeymaren and obviously Elsa had been growing impatient for.

They barely passed dessert that the Queen jumped off her chair, in the same way than her children did earlier when they asked to leave the table to go play before their afternoon lessons.

"You guys get ready, I just need to go to the armory first to grab a weapon."

"What?!" Blinked Elsa. "What for?"

"Just in case he decides to rebel against us, or slit your throat through the bars."

Kristoff rolled his eyes. "Feisty, this is ridiculous. He hasn't showed any anger since we won the battle. Furthermore, he has been searched by the soldiers when he got brought to his cell. You read too many novels, this kind of rebellion only happens in stories. None of us should bring weapons, it's actually a really bad example."

Anna pouted. "Okay, fiiiine."

The four of them stepped outside and went to the Arendelle prison. On the way, they all waved and saluted the bystanders, all except for Elsa. She was frozen in apprehension, thankfully not literally.

When they arrived to the entrance of the jail, one male and one female guard asked for their permission to searched them to check if they were wearing any weapon. Anna kept her serious Queen regal and royal face when they got inspected one by one, but she couldn't help finding it hilarious when the female guard palpated lightly Elsa's arms and legs under her dress. She was as red as a tomato, and did her best to avoid eye contact. Elsa frowned at the faces Honeymaren and Anna were making, wondering why both women were biting their lip hard to not burst of laughter, clueless at the fact she was having an effect on the Arendellian guard.

Eventually, after Honeymaren and Kristoff were searched too, they made their way through the corridors, guided by a soldier. He indicated the cell, which had been isolated at the end of the hall - much to Anna's relief, because they needed a bit of privacy - and returned to the entrance, following her demand to be left alone.

Kristoff politely knocked to the bars to get Victor's attention, and his gentle care nearly made the three women roll their eyes.

"Victor Eiglatson. We need to talk."

The man recognized his voice before even turning around from the window he was staring at, so he smiled sadly. But he then was surprised to see the others.

"Oh."

Honeymaren frowned. "What, oh?"

Elsa blinked at how aggressive she was.

"Well… I was expecting your visit." Said Victor, and he walked calmly to the bars.

Anna frowned. "We don't pay each condemned visitor a visit before they get hanged, Victor. This is no special consideration."

The man sighed sadly. "I know. It's not what I mean. I know you're here because…"

He pointed vaguely at Elsa. "She has my magic, right?"

Everyone widened their eyes in a snap. It wasn't the only brisk thing that happened; in a flash, Honeymaren pounced on the bars and grabbed his collar through them. The prisoner's clothes ripped a bit at the sudden tug, and Victor's cheeks slammed the bars in a grunt. Elsa gasped.

"Honeymaren!"

Anna realized with terror that Honeymaren then shove her hand under her belt and took out a knife, even smaller than her usual dagger. Its blade was the size of a finger but it could really easily kill, especially in the Northuldra huntress' hands. She pointed it at Victor's throat, and the man widened his eyes as the tip of it almost drew blood on his neck.

"Honeymaren!" Screamed the redhead as well, shocked by her sister-in-law's behavior.

She couldn't believe that it slipped her mind. When Kristoff forbid Anna to take any weapon, Honeymaren had discreetly taken a knife from the lunch table before they left. The Queen had seen it shine at the corner of her eye, but didn't pay much attention to it. Why did she forget that?!

"How did you even pass the guard's search?" She blinked.

"That's the most important part to you?" Squeaked Kristoff, his panic rising his voice.

Honeymaren grinned, her chestnut eyes filled with fire not leaving Victor's face. "I purposely took my search turn after Elsa. I know that this guard is aroused each time she's near her. A small knife easily escaped her distracted attention."

The Queen was stunned by her strategy. After all, Honeymaren was the leader of a tribe, so the redhead expected no less. Elsa, on the other hand, was blushing. So that's why they had been laughing when she got inspected...

Victor gulped in fear of the Northuldra's power, and his breathing hitched when the throat move it produced actually made his skin enter even more in contact with the sharp metal.

Honeymaren's grin disappeared to be replaced with menace and an enraged stare.

"What have you done to my wife?" She growled through gritted teeth.

He kept gulping.

"ANSWER ME!"

Kristoff looked around nervously. "Uhm, Maren, be more discreet."

Anna sighed. "As if we aren't already screwed."

Honeymaren understood that time was of the essence. She tugged on Victor's collar, and he got pressed even harder against the bars, which made him moan in pain.

"Tell us why you did that! Why did you inflict that to my wife?"

Victor whined, and the knife started to pour blood, a pearl of dark red appearing where the blade tip was.

"Stop! He's defenseless!" Intervened Kristoff.

Anna put a hand on Honeymaren's shoulder. "He's right. Even if I agree that Victor should repetitively be slammed against those bars, this is not the solution."

The prisoner gulped at the look she had been giving him. Honeymaren didn't move, however. It's Elsa's touch on her other shoulder that made her relax her muscles.

"It's okay, Honey. Calm down."

Her voice was soothing in Honeymaren's ear, and the latter sighed. Elsa gently put her hand against the one of her wife that was holding the knife, and just as gently took it off to discard it.

"It's fine." Whispered the blonde so low that only Honeymaren could hear her. "Thank you for… Defending me. That actually was really impressive." She smiled.

Honeymaren calmed her nerves and let go of Victor's collar slowly, but the man didn't run to the back of his cell or got angry; he stood still, looking at them.

"Talk." Ordered Anna with a frown. "We don't have much time. Why did you transfer your magic to Elsa?"

"Because of your reaction." Said the man.

He looked sad, which intrigued them.

"When I saw the way that Northuldra-"

"My name is Honeymaren." Grumbled the one he pointed at.

"...Honeymaren." He corrected. "When I saw the way Honeymaren bent over the body of her wife, and cried all she could, it reminded me of myself over my own wife's dead body."

They got touched by his reveal.

"That's why you regretted your act and gave Elsa her life back…" Said Anna, who actually had understood that on the shore already.

"Yes." Replied Victor with emotion. "You were in the same state than the one I was in when Niks was killed, and so I regretted all of my actions. All anger left my heart. My rage was gone. Whatever happened to Elsa afterwards was an accident."

Honeymaren's frown was back. "LIAR!"

"I swear!" Whined the man.

Elsa blocked her lover's rage with an arm in front of her.

"Victor. Explain yourself. If that were an accident, then how did you know that we would come to talk about it?"

The man looked down, ashamed. Elsa was intrigued.

"Wait, did you know, that night, that you also gave me your dark magic, in addition to mine?"

He kept looking down.

"Answer her!" Groaned Honeymaren.

"I didn't plan it!" Swore the prisoner. "But… When I did the transfert the other way, I kept thinking that I didn't even deserve to wield magic."

Elsa winced. She sometimes felt the same. Victor kept going.

"When I sent it all to you, I realized that my body suddenly felt lighter. I didn't understand what it was then, but in the following hours, I started to get it. I didn't want to use my dark magic, and of course it was forbidden since I'm a prisoner and I want to comply, but… I had to try. On our way to Arendelle, on the cart, I tried to produce a blow, And indeed, I couldn't use nor sense my magic anymore. It was completely gone. Gone… To you."

Anna frowned in confusion. "Then why didn't the dark magic… I don't know, went back to your body itself? Like, floated back to you?"

Victor smiled sadly.

"If only I knew how it worked."

"You're able to do a magic transfert." Noted Kristoff on an accusative tone.

"That doesn't do everything. Magic has its own will, as you certainly know."

He had said that to Elsa, and she nodded. Victor scoffed sadly.

"And maybe that the dark magic wasn't meant to stay in me… Maybe I didn't deserve to acquire it."

"Acquire it?" Repeated Honeymaren.

She exchanged a gaze with her wife, then looked at him again.

"What do you mean? Weren't you born with it? Just like Niks?"

Victor suddenly had a look that universally meant 'I said too much.' Moreover, for the first time since they started talking, he stepped back to the end of the cell. Honeymaren grunted; she noticed his move and wanted to grab him, but he was out of reach.

"Answer us! Why did you say that?!"

Elsa approached too. "Victor, what does it mean? How did you acquire the dark magic? When was it? Was it from something? From someone?"

The Fifth Spirit's analysis scared the man even more, and he looked panicked now.

"Tell us!" Shouted the brunette.

Victor shook his head with clenched closed eyes.

"No! It's a secret I swore to take with me in my grave!"

Honeymaren was furious, and she slammed the bars. "Good then. Because you'll die soon for your crimes." She blurted.

A rattle resonated in the hall as several guards ran to them, alarmed by the noise they were making.

"Maren, step away from the bars. Now!" Hissed Anna in a warning.

They all took a distance, and the soldiers arrived to their level.

"Your Majesty, is everything alright?" Frowned the captain.

"Yes, yes, everything is perfect." Forced to smile the redhead.

The guard then looked at his pocket watch. "I'm sorry to inform you, my Queen, but your visit time is up."

"Yes. Yes of course, I understand." Nodded Anna.

She gave a sign to the others that meant 'Don't contradict the guards, and let's go out of here.'

They reluctantly followed her, however Honeymaren gave a deadly stare at Victor.

As they were about to depart, the prisoner called them.

"Wait!"

The royals and guards turned around.

"Please, as the last thing before I… Before I die, could you please give me a favor?"

"Silence!" Barked the closest guard, and he slammed on the bars to prompt him to step back.

"No, wait." Asked Kristoff.

He had raised a hand, and the guard retracted at the order of his King. Kristoff slowly stepped back to the cell. He had seen that in fact, Victor had been addressing to him only.

"What is it?"

The prisoner then started to cry for the first time he had ever seen. All dropped their jaws, but Kristoff remained serious and comprehensive.

"What is it, Victor? What favor can I grant you before your hanging?"

The man gulped. "P… Please ask the trolls to erase my memories."

Elsa was shocked by his demand. They all slowly walked back to him, as well as the soldiers, and the blonde saw how desperate and heartbreakingly sad Victor was.

"Please. I'm begging you."

Kristoff was shocked as well. "Why? Why would you want such a thing?"

"I… I wish to forget the death of my wife."

After some silence, Kristoff shook his head. "No. I can't do that."

Before he opened his mouth or the others made a comment, he continued. "Sorrow and grief are part of life too. I advise you to keep those memories, even in the last moments of your life."

The King had a sad sigh, and turned to Anna, then back to him.

"You know, many tens of years ago, the trolls erased the memories of my wife. Those were fundamental memories. And when Elsa and us went to see the trolls after the Great Thaw to give them back to her, I realized that it was something I would wish to anyone. Getting their memories back. They are one of the most important thing in life, you know. Well, maybe I say that because I was raised by trolls and because I literally have a guardian of memories as a sister-in-law, but… Yeah, memories are crucial, good and bad."

The others were stunned by his confession. Anna's heart filled with emotion; it's something that Kristoff had never talked about.

"So believe me." Stated the King. "You're better with them."

Victor stared at him, but he kept crying. "How can you know…? Do you even understand what if feels like? Losing your wife?"

Kristoff had a scoff. "Anna risks her life more often than I even dare to think about, so, yes, I can imagine."

The redhead's lips tugged into a smile.

"You know, life isn't always light and beauty and butterflies. Sometimes bad things happen. But sad memories help to go forward, to move on, to be a better person. Isn't it what motivated you to change and give Elsa her magic back?"

Victor rubbed his tears, and nodded.

A new silence passed, solemn.

"So that was it? The last favor you wanted before your sentence?" Asked Honeymaren.

The prisoner nodded. "I'm ready to welcome death, now."

Elsa, who hadn't said a word until now, approached to Victor.

"So that's it? You're giving up?"

Her intervention surprised the others. That kind of sentence coming from Elsa was really rare.

"You really don't see any way to help me?"

Victor looked at her sadly. "Well, unless you want to know how to transfer magic-"

"Out of question." Cut Elsa with anger. "I'm expecting you have another solution."

He sighed. "No, I truly don't. If you don't want to learn the transfert because you don't want to influence other people's lives, then I regret to inform you… That you'll have to get used to this dark magic in your veins all of your life."

A heavy silence fell.

"All of my life…" Muttered Elsa.

"No, Elsa, wait, we're gonna find a way out of this. I vow to it." Reassured Anna, turning to her elder.

"And you shouldn't listen to him anyway." Said Honeymaren on another tone, but also to reassure her lover. "Come on, everyone, let's go back. Let him serve his sentence if he can't help us."

They nodded solemnly, walking back after one last stare at Victor who had sat down and passed his hands along his face.

When Elsa stepped out of the prison, it was with a heavy heart, but Anna's hand on her shoulder reminded her that she wasn't alone.

---

The Fifth Spirit's gaze was lost in the flames of the fireplace as she was leaning against the frame.

"Now it makes sense that he said "You deserve it better than me" when he did the transfert back... He had meant all the magic."

Anna, standing next to her, nodded. "And it explains why, when he gave you the magic back, the process was longer, and the light was brighter. There was more magic."

Eydis looked up at them while she was sitting on her heels on the floor next to her brother. "But if Auntie's magic and Victor's magic had been transferred to her, then wouldn't that make… Grey? Like, black and white together?"

The adults chuckled at her logic. "Dark magic is a figure of speech, sweetie. It's called like that because it's evil."

"But Victor's magic is black!" Frowned Eydis.

"And Auntie wears white most of the time!" Intervened Isak, beaming.

Elsa smiled at their childish care and insistence.

"The light they saw is magic energy. I don't have white magic. I have ice and snow magic, it's different."

"Oh." Said the two children in one voice.

The adoration Elsa had for her nephew and niece however disappeared from her face, unable to be happy for too long. Anna turned to her, still keeping the distance Elsa asked for, and observed her with a sad smile.

"Don't you find it ironic how, for someone who says she's ashamed of the dark magic inside her, and wants more than anything to get rid of it… You're really closing up on yourself right now?"

Elsa only then noted how curled up she indeed was. She relaxed her muscles a bit, but it was derisory.

"I think it's an old habit…"

Honeymaren gave a frown to Anna, that meant 'Don't tease her now', and the redhead gave her a frown back. Elsa sighed. She really didn't want to be part of an argument between them, on top of all the emotion that happened and that she still had to process.

"I… I'll be right back. My stomach hurts."

She simply said that before leaving the room, and no one dared to question nor followed her. They were willing to take a break as well.

One hour later, Kristoff was surprised to see Elsa serving hay to the horses in the stables. He smiled when he realized that she knew exactly when the grooms were away to make sure she was alone with the animals. After all, it's the reason why himself had come to the stables at that time.

When their gazes met, Elsa smiled softly.

"How is your head? Feeling better?" Grinned the King.

"Oh, uh… Yeah. Better."

She then realized that in her lie, she had pretended 'stomach', and not 'head'. She stared at Kristoff who kept grinning and obviously had been tricking her, then blushed deeply.

"Okay, you busted me."

The man smiled politely.

"You needed some space. I get it. The prison can give a really claustrophobic feeling, even to those who aren't sensible to it."

Elsa simply nodded, resuming to her hay distribution, contented by the happy chewing of the horses.

"You prefer the presence of animals, uh?"

"I'm not really in the mood to pet them, though." Winced the blonde.

There was some regret in her voice, but also pain; she hated how her body was roamed by something she didn't like, anyone could tell.

"Not in the mood to pet a horse? Who are you and what have you done with Elsa?" Joked Kristoff.

Elsa gave him a sad look, and he quickly startled. "Oh my gods, wait, I didn't mean… Elsa, I'm deeply sorry, I didn't mean it like that…"

"Don't. You're right, I'm not myself. I know it." Sighed Elsa, dropping the hay on the ground.

Kristoff hurried to her side. "No, Elsa, you can't think that of you. You're a wonderful, amazing person, and you know how much I admire you. I would never lie to you if I thought that you really changed. And you haven't. That was just a joke."

The blonde looked at him. Indeed, Kristoff never lied, not because he was bad at it, but simply because he didn't see any purpose in lying. He was even kinder than Anna, which reached the impossible, and it was easy to see why he got along with Ryder so well. A smile softly stretched her lips.

"Okay."

She then gave him a warm smile, the best she could to be the equivalent of a hug while keeping her distanciation. "Thank you, Kristoff. It's a good thing you have solid nerves to not be afraid of me, though."

"Peh. As if you could scare me. You wouldn't even hurt a fly."

Elsa chuckled. His humor was exactly what he needed as they continued to feed the horses.

---

To clean the smell of the stables off her skin, Elsa spent a long time in the shower; however, Honeymaren noticed that she wasn't just doing it for this reason. She had been inside the guests' bathroom for a tremendous amount of time now, and she could hear the disgusted grunts that Elsa made as she kept thinking she was gross due to the sensation of a intrusive magic through her whole body.

The Northuldra knocked to the door.

"Love, you can't keep washing yourself in loops like that. Don't forget what Anna said. It's psychological, and the dirt you feel isn't on your body at all. Rubbing it with soap continuously won't do any good. It's even very bad for the skin."

Her hand passed along the wood as she then smiled. "I'd be the first one to say that your goddess skin is magical, but it's really human skin, and you'll harm yourself if you keep going like that."

A sigh and silence followed, and she heard that Elsa had stopped pouring water through the plumbing. Honeymaren's smile stretched.

When the door opened, the Northuldra took some steps back, so the blonde could go through the bedroom without touching her.

"Why do you care so much about my health?" Mumbled Elsa.

Honeymaren had a thousand reasons to slam her forehead at such a sentence coming from the person she had chosen to marry a long time ago, but forced herself to smile.

"Because I love your body and it would be a shame to alter such a stunning creation."

Elsa snorted at her flirty ways.

The brunette walked around her, making sure to give Elsa distancing as she wished, and entered the bathroom. She looked around and searched for the piece of soap, then grabbed it and bounced it with her hand in the air.

"I'm taking that."

Elsa rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

"And I need to put it in a place where you won't be able to find it." Played Honeymaren. "Close your eyes."

"Are you going to put it at the top of the wardrobe?" Sighed Elsa, because she knew her by heart.

"Maybe." Smirked the brunette.

Her expression vanished when she saw that her lover was looking elsewhere. She wasn't in the mood to play. Honeymaren wanted to tease Elsa on her incapacity of reaching the top of the wardrobe - even though they roughly had the same height - but could see that her joke would have no effect that evening.

The fact that Elsa was clenching a sleeve made of actual fabric confirmed her theory; she wasn't fully herself, refusing to use her magic even to craft herself an ice nightgown.

Honeymaren sighed.

"You really don't see why I keep watching over you, despite your new situation, uh?"

Elsa didn't respond, but the way she kept looking elsewhere was a clear answer. Honeymaren frowned and decided that no, her wife didn't have to be sad to end the day.

"Elsa, tell me…"

The blonde turned at her name, but still had a pout.

"When you craft your outfit with ice and snow in the morning, what is the one thing you always have on, no matter what type of clothes you decide to wear?" Asked Honeymaren.

Elsa frowned at the question, so confused that she effectively forgot her worries.

"My thigh-high slit?" She guessed, clueless.

Honeymaren chuckled at her answer.

"No, you adorable extra dummy. This."

She pointed to the leather band at her wrist. Her marital bracelet, made of two thin intertwined strips of different colors.

"It hasn't left you in four years. Just like my love for you hasn't left me in four years. And Ahtohallan knows how many times you drove me nuts. By spending half a damn day to pick up a dye color for my belt, for example."

Elsa's pout returned. "In my defense, all colors look great on you. It's really hard to decide."

She suddenly realized that they had diverted from the topic. "Wait…"

Honeymaren continued. "What I'm saying is that I'll never, ever, give up on you. With that same continuity that we wear our bracelet and ring every day. Do you understand?"

The crunchy face of the blonde turned into a tender and touched expression. "Yes."

"Good."

They smiled to each other, but Honeymaren clearly saw that Elsa's smile was sad. Indeed, the blonde turned around and started grabbing several cushions and pillows around the room to place them in the middle of the bed, in a vertical line. Despite its comfy appearance, the ensemble looked like a wall.

"I'm sorry, it really looks like a separation… But I need it." Mumbled Elsa.

"It's okay. I understand. It's to make sure you won't touch me during the night if you move."

The Snow Queen turned to her with touched eyes. "Thank you." She then sighed. "I owe so much to your understanding."

Honeymaren smiled, and it was hard for her to restrain herself to kiss Elsa's forehead at the adorable expression she now had. She silently laid down on her side of the bed. Even with the cushions and pillows separating them, they still had plenty of space to sleep. The brunette only found it incredibly frustrating, when Elsa blew out the last candles and laid down next to her, to not roll aside and cuddle to her body.

She however didn't say a word, once again, even when Elsa turned and looked at her with a worried glance above the pile of cushions.

"Are you sure that you don't mind it?"

The Northuldra sighed at her constant selflessness. "You're still by my side, snømus, and that's all I always wish for." She confessed.

They both smiled, and soon Elsa closed her eyes. It had been such an emotional day that they found sleep quickly.

---

"Ah, Bruni, there you are!" Smiled Elsa, seeing the Fire Spirit trot quickly to her, dashing in zig-zags on the grass.

She chuckled. "No need to rush. I was just waiting for you before reading my book. I figured you would want to snuggle on my shoulder, and then provide me some light when the Sun starts to set…"

The salamander kept running and didn't slow down his race to her. She waved her fingers on the ground for him to climb from her hand, finding it suspicious that he arrived to fast, and figuring that he was just really excited.

Nevertheless, it was quite the opposite; he jumped right before arriving to Elsa's fingers, and suddenly slammed down his teeth to bite her fingers with a powerful jaw thrust.

"AOUCH! Bruni! What the hell?!" Startled Elsa, and she shook her hand in pain.

The salamander stayed on the ground and snarled at her, glowing bright pink in rage, his back sparkling.

Elsa frowned at the behavior of her friend and fellow, and kept shaking her right hand at the scouring pain in her fingertips. Bruni had managed to slash two of them with his teeth, and she lifted her hand to suck the blood out of her wounds. However, Elsa startled when she saw her fingers close; she was bleeding, but it wasn't red. It was pitch black.

With a gasp, she dropped her book, and instinctively crawled back, but the tree trunk behind her blocked her way. Staring at the pouring black blood with fright, she felt like she needed to stand up to run for help. Only, something seemed to prevent her, even to stop her from moving up. With a panicked breathing, she looked down and saw that her left wrist was stuck to the Forest' ground.

Her marital bracelet had turned into a handcuff, firmly planted in the grass. With horror, Elsa tried to take it off, but it was impossible, and she was even staining her bracelet with her black blood.

"No, no, no…"

Even worse, her leather handcuff soon turned into a chain of thorns, and the thorns grew all around, spreading like a disease. Elsa's breathing sped up, and she tried to take it off, to break it, not daring to use her powers, but she kept bleeding black, and the thorns kept growing, and they scratched and produced even more blood, and now the grass was pitch black and the thorns were everywhere…

The Sun, which had been still been far from setting, suddenly went down behind the mountains, and left her in a dark, very dark setting. She could only feel the scary, gloomy, horrible feeling of dark magic coursing through her veins and quivering, making her muscles clench and her body shiver with revulsion…

She had become the monster.

Elsa opened her eyes in a snap and gasped loudly. She sat up in a jolt, panicking at how the darkness of the bedroom was so similar to the darkness of the Forest in her nightmare. She couldn't see the difference, and screamed when she thought that she still was trapped in her own skin, trapped in someone she never wanted to be, or rather someone who she once was and never wanted to become again, or rather someone who she was afraid she was becoming…

"Elsa, what is it?"

The Snow Queen startled, and was so frightened by the sudden voice near her that a rush of magic came from her core and straight to her fingertips. Thankfully, she had experience and reflexes, and clenched her fists to stop the outburst immediately. With a heavy breathing, and wavy shoulders, she tried to focus in the dark and understand who had just talked.

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's me. It's okay, I'm here."

Apparently, Honeymaren had sat up as well, looking at her, yet kept her requested distance. She gave her lover a reassuring expression.

"It's okay. It was a nightmare. It's over now. You're safe. Look at me. You're safe. Breathe."

Elsa gulped, trying to slow down her breathing, but her shoulders then shook, and she started to melt into tears. Her mouth twisted in a devastated pout, her nerves nearly exploding at the past sensation of the nightmare.

Then suddenly, to Honeymaren's biggest surprise, the blonde launched forward and wrapped her arms around her for a tight hug. The brunette missed a heartbeat; because of astonishment, because of the strong embrace, and because Elsa now sobbed loudly on her shoulder.

A roaming mix of feelings made Honeymaren shiver entirely. The scent of Elsa's hair against her nose, the sensation of her cold face against her neck, the feeling of her chest against her as her arms powerfully held her close... She had missed all of those elements so much, and yet felt devastated to feel her wife so sad for the first moment this allowed touch happened.

"Snømus..."

The blonde continued to sob, so Honeymaren closed her eyes and hugged back her wife warmly. The embrace continued for a long time, in the silence of the night, until Elsa's cries calmed down, lulled by tiredness and the Northuldra's gentle caresses in her back.

"There, there… I'm right here."

"I love you." Muttered Elsa, and it was nearly imperceptible and sudden, so Honeymaren blinked.

"I know. I love you too. So much."

They detached from the hug in the same move, looking at each other, still in each other's arms, sitting on their heels on the bed.

"Look." Invited Honeymaren, staring down. "You broke the wall."

Elsa saw the way the cushions and pillows had been flipped aside, and their knees were touching now.

"You did it." Smiled Honeymaren, in encouragement.

The Snow Queen had a scoff, and she sniffed. "Anna is the one who breaks walls. I'm not really good at it."

Her wife rubbed off the tears that were on her face. "For a first time, I think you're rather talented."

Elsa's lips slowly stretched into a smile. Honeymaren kept stroking her cheeks with both her hands, so glad to finally be able to do so now that her hand had healed from its injury. With her earlier stress, Elsa's skin was ice cold, so cold that it almost burned her fingers at the touch. But the Northuldra didn't care.

She leaned in slowly, and kissed Elsa on the lips. The touch was surprising for both women; it was like they hadn't kissed in a thousand years. The kiss became mutual and rose in intensity, to match the thousand emotions that went through their minds. After a while, their lips stretched in smiles.

The brunette grinned after she pulled back. "Waow, I missed this so much."

"Me too." Admitted Elsa, smiling bashfully and biting her lip as her azure blue eyes sparkled in the dark.

"Now, find some sleep, okay?" Teased Honeymaren.

After that kiss, Elsa was pretty sure that she would faint the second she would lay down on her pillow. "Okay."

She grabbed any obstacle between her and her wife and tossed them out of the bed. Honeymaren giggled as they laid back down in the sheets.

A silence passed, and it seemed like Elsa was waiting to say something.

"What?" Asked the leader.

"Please hold me close to you." Muttered the blonde timidly.

Honeymaren had a tender smile. "Always."

She lifted an arm so Elsa could shift against her, and lowered it on her body, keeping her in her embrace, spooning her and protecting her with her life. She kissed Elsa's temple, and the latter looked at her lovingly.

They cuddled warmly and, nested together, found peaceful sleep.

---

Elsa woke up at the perfect fragrance combination of chocolate cake and Honeymaren's scent. She smiled before even opening her eyes, and when she eventually did, she saw two loving chestnut irises staring down at her on reverse.

"Good morning."

"'Morning." Mumbled Elsa as she stretched. "Gosh, can all mornings be like those?"

Honeymaren chuckled tenderly. "I noticed how deep into slumber you were when I woke up, and I didn't want to interrupt your well deserved rest. So I brought you breakfast in bed."

Elsa now understood what the smell had come from. Honeymaren had a tray on her thighs right under her nose, and the blonde sat up to admire what was on it. There obviously was pieces of chocolate cake, but also fresh fruit juice, raisin grapes, at least three different samples of jams, and numerous toasts.

"Waow. I don't even know if we will eat all that."

"You will eat this morning, under my watch." Threatened Honeymaren. "You haven't been eating much lately."

Elsa gave her a tender smile. Of course she had noticed that due to her mood, she had given priority to sad thoughts instead of feeding herself.

"The castle's kitchens are so weird, though. I couldn't find butter. But it's fine. Those jams are delicious even directly put on toasts."

"Did you break into the kitchens?" Smirked Elsa.

Honeymaren blushed. "Uhm... Is it bad? I mean, what if I did. Would it be bad?"

The blonde grinned. "It's fine. It's not actual theft."

They took the time to eat and laugh, snuggling in bed and watching the clouds outside through the opened windows.

"I would love to stay here forever, but I should take a shower." Said Honeymaren after a full hour of contemplation. "And I'm using the hidden soap."

"Ha-ha-ha." Sighed Elsa.

The brunette stuck out her tongue, and kissed her forehead before leaving for the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

The Snow Queen observed the wood of the door, then got struck by an idea for a plan. An idea that Honeymaren was not going to like at all. And neither would Anna or Kristoff.

When she heard the water starting to pour, and Honeymaren singing softly, she jumped off bed. She quickly put on a tunic, and tiptoed out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her silently.

"What the heck are you doing?"

Elsa twirled around, alarmed to hear Honeymaren's voice echoing behind her in an angry tone.

Though, was she really surprised that she had followed her? Noticed that she had left the bedroom? Was she really panicked when she emotion that filled her soul now was love, to see that Honeymaren cared so much and knew her so much that she could tell what she was up to?

Honeymaren crossed her arms above the clipped towel she had around her body. "You're really intending to sneak out without telling me?"

Elsa bit her lip. "Honey, go back in." She whispered, keeping a low tone to not warn anyone.

It was soft, unlike Honeymaren's scolding tone, but the latter didn't change her voice at all.

"You, come back here at once."

Elsa sighed. "You weren't supposed to see me go."

"Yeah, I really have to keep an eye on you all day and night, uh?"

The Snow Queen's mood switched, and she frowned. "What, like a child?"

"No, like someone who's about to make a big mistake. I know you, Elsa. I know you were planning to sneak out to go talk with Victor in secret, without any of us knowing it."

The blonde blushed as she got busted.

"It's none of your business. Besides, I am not sneaking out." Grumbled Elsa. "It's 9 in the morning."

"Which is exactly the time when everyone starts to get busy and won't see you go out. Who do you think I am, an idiot? I make strategic hunting plans once per month as a task, may I remind you."

The Fifth Spirit pouted and looked away like a child running out of arguments. Honeymaren stepped forward.

"Come back in. We'll deal with this together."

Elsa frowned, and simply continued to walk. Honeymaren gasped and ran to her, grabbing her arm.

"Let me go!"

"No, Elsa, I forbid you to go see him!"

"Forbid me?" Repeated Elsa, now looking enraged, and she stopped walking to flip around. "So now you give me orders? You're my wife, not my mom."

Honeymaren was shocked by the remark, but chose to ignore it and continue.

"And as your wife, I think this is the worst idea, and I really advise you not to go. Please, Elsa, listen to me. I'm saying this for your protection."

Her hold was firm, and ironically, the wrist she was clasping was Elsa's left one. Under her fingers was the symbol of their connection, and it didn't escape their attention.

"I…"

The blonde looked down, and her sentence vanished in her throat. She sighed, and when she looked up, she noticed for the first time that Honeymaren was panting. It was due to fear, but not only. She clearly had rushed to grab a towel and run out of the bathroom then bedroom to find her. Her hair was untied, long and wet, pouring drops of water on her face here and there. These drops looked like tears when they were combined with her worried expression.

"What were you planning to do?" Scolded the brunette, her adrenalyn making her scold Elsa again. "Torture him to get answers?"

Elsa was horrified by her sentence, because she realized in that moment that indeed, it's what she was planning to do. A shiver went down her spine as she became aware that her dark thoughts had taken control over her. She stared at Honeymaren, blinking as she realized that the idea that came to her when she was on the bed actually had been submitted by her subconscious. Her eyes filled with tears, which the Northuldra noticed, and she frowned.

"Elsa…?"

The blonde whimpered, and wrapped her arms around her lover for an embrace. The latter understood, by her heavy posture, that this intervention has acted like a saving trigger.

"I'm sorry, Honey, I really am, I just… I don't know where my mind is at lately…" Muttered Elsa on her shoulder, her voice slightly muffled by Honeymaren's skin. "This magic really brings out the worst in me. My thoughts are so violent… I'm so sorry."

Honeymaren smiled sadly, and held her close. "Don't be sorry, snømus. I understand."

She then smirked. "If anything, I'm the one who's sorry."

"Why?"

"My hair is wet, and that must not be very comfortable for a hug…"

Elsa chuckled, but kept her posture. "I don't mind. I'm used to it with Nokk and my rides to Ahtohallan."

Honeymaren pulled back. "Are you saying I'm a horse?"

The blonde grinned bashfully. "You do have long hair, it kind of looks like a mane…"

She got nudged on the shoulder, and laughed. Honeymaren's hand stayed here. "I insist to go back to the bedroom, however. The carpet of this corridor probably is centuries old and I'm dropping water on it."

Elsa looked down at the droplets that poured down along her legs and were staining the burgundy wool around her bare feet.

"It's not that old." Said the blonde. "Anna burned it when she was little."

Her eyes remained down, lost in her thoughts again. A silence passed, so Honeymaren gently lifted her chin.

"Hey. Remember what I told you, after the attack at the camp, when I used your ice arrows against the monsters? I'll never let anyone or anything take you away from me."

Elsa startled and gulped in emotion as she remembered that moment very well. Her throat tightened, and the brunette put her hands on her shoulders before she continued:

"That also applies to this foreign magic in you that you don't like, and that makes you feel like you're infected, that you're poisoned, that you're not yourself. It takes my beloved wife away from me."

Now Elsa's eyes started to fill with tears, and she inhaled shakily. She nodded slowly, then firmly.

"You're full of morals, lately." She noted with a smirk.

Honeymaren lifted an eyebrow.

"In the good way!" Hurried to say the blonde. "I… I need it. I'm struggling with my own thoughts and decisions, and I really needed you to guide me on the right way. Thank you."

"You're very welcome." Smiled the brunette, and she kissed her, quickly but sweetly. "We're in this together, remember? Good and bad."

Elsa grinned. "Indeed, I believe that we swore about that at the altar."

Her eyes sparkled at the memory.

"Yes. So I'll not give up on you."

They pressed their foreheads together lovingly.

"Uhm… Good morning."

They turned to see Kristoff, walking down the corridor with Isak in his arms, and he widened his eyes at the sight.

"Oh, hi." Said Honeymaren.

She wondered what was putting him in such a state, and then realized that she was standing in the middle of the Arendelle's royal castle nearly naked, with nothing more than one towel on, and had dripping untied hair.

She gasped and hurried back to the room, leaving a blinking Elsa in the corridor.

"Uh… Hello."

"Hi!" Waved Isak.

He wondered why his other aunt left, clueless of her attire.

Kristoff was still a bit shocked, but smirked after some time. "We're going down for breakfast. Are you two… Ready?"

"Oh, I've already ate breakfast."

"You did?" Frowned Kristoff.

Elsa then realized that maybe it was impolite to do so in bed without warning the others. Anna had done it from time to time in the years following the Great Thaw, but that was before she got a larger family and Kristoff became King. Sneaking in and out of the kitchens wasn't really a good example for the kids now. She smiled nervously at Isak.

"It's… Complicated. I'll explain it to you later."

"Sure." Smiled the blond. "See you around then."

They walked away, and Elsa's shoulders slumped. 'Well', she thought, 'If it hadn't been Honeymaren, I'd have crossed ways with Kristoff further on anyway. It was doomed.'

---

Anna jumped up from the couch when she saw the two lovers enter the living room.

"Elsa, Maren! I was so worried! We hadn't seen you at breakfast, and Kristoff told me that you were alright, but you weren't there! And so I started to think the worst, and…"

As she kept rambling, Elsa grinned and walked to her.

"...So then I thought, maybe it's my fault? Maybe I shouldn't have done that, and so I got worried, and-"

She stopped right in her sentence when Elsa smiled tenderly right in front of her and wrapped her arms around her for a warm hug.

"...Waow."

Anna blinked, but her surprise disappeared like snow in the sun. Her tense shoulders slumped in a relief, letting go of a stress that she didn't realize was seizing her all that time.

"Oh my goodness, Elsa…"

She held her elder sister close, burying her face in her neck. Both had their eyes closed, and Honeymaren melted at the scene.

"Anna, I'm so sorry…"

"No, it's me. I never meant to push you, I just…" She sighed, her warm breath tingling Elsa's neck skin. "I'm impossible, sometimes I want to slap my own face. I shouldn't have asked you to do stuff that you don't want to do, I…"

The Fifth Spirit detached from the hug to hold her sister's shoulders. "It's okay. You were stressed, and I know that me turning mad or dark or rogue is your worst fear."

Anna had a wince. "No, my worst fear is losing you forever. Which seemed to have happened twice, recently, so I'm kind of used to it now… Maybe immuned, who knows…?"

She playfully shrugged to Honeymaren behind Elsa's shoulder, and the brunette smirked. When her gaze returned to her elder, she had a sad expression.

"Anna…"

"I'm just kidding. Relax."

She passed her hands on Elsa's arms, and then a memory hit her.

"Hey, Maren, did you take your scarf?"

Both wives blinked at the question.

"My what, sorry? Oh, you mean our family shawl?"

"Yeah." Grinned Anna, amused by the confusion on Elsa's face.

"Well, no, we didn't, it's in our hut back at the camp. Why?"

"Never mind. I was thinking that Elsa could use some tenderness right now."

The blonde blushed at the grins Honeymaren and Anna gave her.

"Oh, that can be arranged in a simple way." Said the Northuldra.

The two girls exchanged a gaze, nodded, and Elsa widened her eyes right before they suddenly jumped on her to tackle her in a sandwich hug.

"AHH!"

She screamed, but soon they all laughed, their giggles filling the room.

'Gods, did I miss those.' Thought Elsa, her heart feeling like it was bathed in sunlight. 'To say there was a time when I was scared of hugs…'

After a while, they parted, and Honeymaren turned to the Queen with a sad face that contrasted with the one she had just before. "Anna, I feel like it's important for you to know… Elsa had planned to sneak out earlier in the morning to go extort information from Victor."

"Wait, what?!" Exclaimed Anna.

The Snow Queen gave a deathly stare at her wife. "Seriously?" She hissed.

Honeymaren lifted an unimpressed eyebrow. After all, they hadn't swore to keep this a secret. And Anna was the monarch, her sister and her best advisor, so she had to know about it.

The redhead crossed her arms.

"Elsa, you do know that if you torture a prisoner, I'll have to put you in jail as well, right?" She said, half joking and half serious.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Once again, that suggestion came from my subconscious, I did not mean it…"

The two other women exchanged a look. "And… Did you actually feel like you had to do it on the moment?"

Elsa knew what her sister was trying to analyse, but she couldn't lie. "Yes. And… More than anything."

Anna's teal blue eyes filled with fear. "Would you… Would you ever come to such terms?"

"No!" Replied the Fifth Spirit, shocked. Then her face twisted. "...Maybe."

Then she smirked. "Absolutely."

Honeymaren and Anna widened her eyes, and Elsa shook her head. "I mean, no. No, of course not."

The redhead placed a hand on her shoulder. "Elsa. Focus and tell me what you truly think. Would you, or would you not, secretly go to Victor's cell and torture him to get answers about why you have dark magic?"

What followed was both frightening and fascinating. The blonde didn't reply yet. She opened her mouth to say something, then came around, then opened it to say something else, then cancelled it as well, then she frowned, and she muttered, like she was in an actual internal conflict for such a simple answer. Eventually, she sighed for a long time, and it sounded like intense relief, like she had won a day-long debate.

"I would not. That's horrible, no, I promise I wouldn't. I mean, I swear I wouldn't." She corrected, knowing that Anna hated the word 'promise'.

That last addition made the Queen grin. That was her Elsa, there was no doubt about that. She put her hands in hers and sighed.

"Good."

"Did I scare you?" Asked Elsa, confused at the sight of the fear that still had to go away from Honeymaren's face.

"A little, I got to say." Chuckled the Northuldra nervously.

Elsa felt devastated. "I didn't mean it. Any of it. I'm so sorry if-"

Anna held her hands warmly. "Elsa, you're trying your best to balance those two states in your own soul. It's fine. Also, you'd be the dumbest person ever if you think that Maren and I aren't taking this into consideration while helping you."

"And given the fact you're literally the most intelligent person I've ever known, I think you already know that." Smirked Honeymaren.

Elsa's eyes filled with tears. "Then… I'm sorry to have doubted of you."

Both Anna and Honeymaren rolled their eyes.

"What?" Frowned the Snow Queen.

"Do you think there ever will be a day where she doesn't apologize?" Asked Honeymaren to the redhead.

"I wouldn't bet on it." She sighed.

---

'Sploosh.'

"Damnit."

Elsa was so distracted by her thoughts that she couldn't even make a proper ricochet. She tried again, but it was disastrous; it even made a loud splash as it hit the water of the fjord, and she preferred to stop here. She wasn't exactly planning to attract the attention now that she had found a private spot near the water.

She heavily sat on a flat rock on the shore, and folded her legs, her chin resting on her knees, looking down as she pondered.

Then she suddenly got the feeling that she wasn't alone. Though, was she ever alone next to the fjord?

A barely perceptible trot of water hooves against water surface made it to her ears, and she smiled before even lifting her face.

"Hey dear."

Nokk detached themself in the light, their body glistening in beautiful blur transparency. The magical horse neighed as they made their way to the shore to get as close to her as possible.

Elsa scoffed nervously as she stretched her legs on the rock. "Let me guess, you read my emotions and felt that I am conflicted, didn't you?"

Her old friend and fellow neighed, and Elsa's heart beamed at the familiar sensation of the magical bond that transmitted their emotions.

"Don't worry, I'm fine." Said Elsa, who couldn't lie anyway. "It's just… That I'm hesitating."

The horse blinked, and had a feeling that meant 'About what?'

The Fifth Spirit smiled. "About whether taking a break into Ahtohallan or staying here. The thing is, both heal me in a unique way, you see…"

Nokk blinked again with their expressive glowing blue eyes, and nodded. She smiled warmly at their care. Somehow, it made her feel better already. She sighed resolutely.

"Yeah, when I think about it, Arendelle is a better place for me right now. I can't leave. I mean, I shouldn't. All my family is here, and they take such good care of me. Anna and Honeymaren together are protecting me in a way that is so unique... Gosh, I'd be nothing if they weren't by my side."

Nokk made an approving giggling neigh.

"Well, thank you." Snarled Elsa sarcastically.

Her tone went sadder. "I especially can't abandon them after what happened. They thought that I… Well, I did almost die, after all. So I can't leave, I prefer them to know that I'm safe here in Arendelle."

Nokk nodded with wisdom once more. The millenium-old Water Spirit admired Elsa's choice.

The Snow Queen then got struck by a realization.

"Ahtohallan's name, I completely forgot! You Spirits thought that I was about to die too, didn't you?! Oh no, Nokk, are you okay? Do you want to talk? I mean… And how are the other Spirits?!"

The magical horse blinked at her sudden ramble. To reassure her, they gave a lot of warm feelings, certifying they were shared by the others as well. Elsa exhaled a long sigh.

"I'm sorry, it all had been so fast, I should have taken the time to talk to you."

Nokk insisted that it was okay, and that even if they were frustrated to not intervene in the fight even after the magical transfer, they knew she was okay the second she opened her eyes.

The two Spirits talked about it, until Elsa lowered her eyes on her hands.

"It's not all… I…"

She couldn't say it out loud. So she explained through the words of her heart. She told how bad she felt about it, how it gave her the impression she wasn't worth of anything anymore, how she wished she could simply cancel everything, how she felt sick of her own body every passing minute.

She also didn't dare to lift her head afterwards, so she winced, and heard an odd sound coming from the waves.

They were moving forward, rising in size and weight at high speed, splashing her ankles and soon her knees, even her thighs.

"What the-"

The rock she was sitting on was partially underwater now, and when she looked up, her forehead instantly got nudged by a splashing muzzle.

"Agh! Nokk!" Giggled the blonde, grinning at the affectionate bump from the magical horse.

As she wiped her face in a laughter, she looked at how they had walked to her by rising the level of water.

"Now that's just cheating. I thought you were obeying the Moon's will? That's a bit high for a fjord tide, don't you think? Ahtohallan will scold you." She smirked.

Nokk bumped their muzzle against her forehead again. A feeling came from their core and resonated in Elsa's. When she interpreted it, she gasped quietly, and tears fell to mix with the salty fjord drops on her cheeks.

'You're worth it.' Had said the Water Spirit.

---

When Elsa came back to the castle later on, she went to Eydis to apologize deeply for what had happened in the gardens. The Fifth Spirit told her niece that she had been right: she really needed a confidant. She explained her moment with Nokk, then to her sister and wife who had entered the room.

"What do they have to say about you having those dark magic powers?" Asked Anna gently.

Elsa smiled tenderly at the memory of the emotions from the Water Spirit that had gone through her soul and mind. "Nokk said that I have support and faith from all the Spirits to find the solution to that possession."

"Kind of pompous, but it's really cute nonetheless." Commented Eydis.

That description could actually apply to Nokk's personality in general.

"This is really great." Beamed Honeymaren. "A blessing from the Spirits is good fortune."

Her lover turned to her, her good mood not leaving her face. "With all the radiant energy I could feel coming from them, even by simply standing by the fjord, it was even better, trust me."

Just as they were about to celebrate this support, Elsa rose a finger.

"One more thing." She grinned, and her joy made Honeymaren, Eydis and Anna smile before they even knew what she was about to say. "Their trust brought me to a new state of mind. I think… That I found the strength and the motivation to allow myself… To use my ice and snow magic again."

She had a warm smile, and lifted her left hand. The three others were so happy for her that they didn't even think of contradict her, or warn her. Elsa was radiating such self-positivity that it would have been inhuman to stop her. And after all, if she was confident, then her mastering on magic would be perfect, they all knew it.

With shared smiles, they observed as Elsa produced snowflakes in the air, and they all laughed as the Snow Queen couldn't help herself making a show in the room, soon twirling and nearly jumping around to produce falling snow and ice sculptures all around. While Honeymaren and Eydis clapped and cheered, Anna suddenly grabbed Elsa by the arms while she turned, stopping her instantly.

"What?" Worried the blonde, thinking she did something wrong.

But the emotional teal blue eyes her younger sister gave her proved that, quite on the opposite, she was incredibly proud of her.

She tackled her in a bone-crushing hug, so relieved and delighted.

"I'm so happy for you. So happy." She sighed on her shoulder, with a wavy voice due to emotion.

The elder returned her hug and closed her eyes. "Me too. I'm happy for myself."

The two grinned as snow continued to pour on them.

---

It had been another emotional and therefore tiring day, and the night couldn't come soon enough. When Elsa relaxed her muscles as she laid against the window frame in the silent bedroom, she felt like she was physically letting go of her tensions.

The Northuldra slid behind her and was delighted to have Elsa leaning back against her, skin against skin, and she enjoyed the sight of the sun setting behind the mountains with the blonde in her embrace. She lifted Elsa's hand she had in hers to kiss her fingers, and the Fifth Spirit chuckled.

In fact, Honeymaren was more than delighted: she had to admit, she was also aroused. When Elsa turned around to look at her as she wanted to say something, her ice nightgown shimmered in the last rays of light. And the return of Elsa's unique and magnificent custom-made and skin-like magical clothes scrambled Honeymaren's mind in the best way.

A delicate hand waved in front of her eyes. "Honey."

"Uh?"

"You're not listening. I was saying that tomorrow morning, I'm gonna have breakfast with Anna in the meeting room, because we have to go through what happened during Victor's trial."

"Uh-uh."

Elsa frowned. "Are you with me?"

Honeymaren grinned in a silly way. "That's for sure."

The blonde frowned even more, seeing well that her wife wasn't actually staring at her face, but rather at what was below.

"You seem distracted."

The Northuldra held her close to kiss her hair. "That you can also say."

It made Elsa giggle, but she soon stretched with a soft sigh. "I should head to bed now."

Her hand was gently held by Honeymaren, however. "Do you want to cuddle?"

Elsa shrugged. "I don't know, Honeymaren… Maybe it's not a good idea…"

Honeymaren grinned to her indecision. "Oh, it will."

The Snow Queen widened her eyes when she saw her rapidly bend. "No wait, Honey, no!"

She yelped as her wife grabbed her waist and put her on her shoulder, her head upside down. Elsa had a loud giggle.

"Honey! Put me down!" She laughed, not actually ordering her.

"Never. Not with the beautiful sound that just went out of your mouth. Also, I never lifted you that way before that time when we left the camp, and I actually love it." Smiled Honeymaren.

Elsa kept laughing upside down in her back as the brunette walked her across the bedroom.

In opposite to the sudden way she swooped her, Honeymaren gently placed her on the sheets from the end of the bed. Elsa thought that her lover would stand and walk around the mattress to lay down next to her, but the brunette grinned and remained above her, facing her, her deep chestnut eyes staring lovingly at her soul. The Fifth Spirit gulped at the sensation that roamed her body and made her scalp tingle. Her wife placed each of her knees on the sides of Elsa's hips, her elbows also planted on the sheets next to Elsa's arms. If her close posture wasn't enough to entirely melt the blonde, Honeymaren also started stroking her hair and kissed the crook of her neck.

Elsa startled, though she couldn't hide a shiver of delight.

"No, wait, Honey, I'm not sure about this…"

The Northuldra instantly stopped, and parted. "Are you uncomfortable with it?" She checked, her eyes worried and respectful.

Elsa could have burst to tears at the beautiful care that her wife was giving her, and at the eyes that were scanning her to make sure that she was agreeing to the upcoming touches that would be more intense than cuddles.

"If you don't want to be intimate, it's fine. I'll stop. Do you want this?"

"Yes." Muttered Elsa.

That simple word proved her strong decision, because it was heavy with need, almost guttural. The blonde also immediately blushed at the way she sounded. Honeymaren grinned widely, and lowered her face close to her wife's again. She kissed her slowly, but could feel that Elsa still had some restraint. She looked at her again.

"Then what is scaring you, snømus?"

Elsa had an audible gulp.

"You."

"Me?" Chuckled Honeymaren.

The Snow Queen gestured to her body, posture and attitude in general with nervous hands moves. "You! This…! I…"

The leader smiled. "You're afraid of letting go."

Elsa's eyes sparkled in the dimmed light. "...Yes. What if I lose track of… What if my powers-"

Her mouth got shut with a single finger. "Remind me what was the key that made you able to control your magic, all those years ago?"

Elsa blinked. "Love, but… That was… That's for ice and snow magic. I still don't know how to control dark magic…"

"Allow me to correct you, sweetie. Love is the key for you to control any magic."

The Fifth Spirit was touched by her words, and considered for a long time this analysis, which might be true. After all, it's thanks to support and care from everyone that she had been able to go through the last days.

Elsa gulped, her eternal anxiety still overcoming her reason. "What makes you so sure about it? How do you know?"

Honeymaren grinned even larger than she did before. "Because our skins have been in contact for the past five minutes, and you are begging for more."

Elsa didn't even realize that she actually was holding Honeymaren's elbow in her left palm, not to make her retract her arm, but to unconsciously bring the brunette's hand back to her head where her hair rubs had been thrilling.

She blushed and didn't add a word. Her wife was entirely correct. She always had been, after all. Elsa could hardly pinpoint moments in their married life where Honeymaren's wisdom hadn't been right.

The brunette smiled tenderly when she saw how Elsa slowly gave in and remained mute. The Fifth Spirit simply nodded with loving eyes, and Honeymaren's face lit up with pure happiness to have been given the go. She slowly lowered her face down again and gently kissed Elsa's lips, jawline, neck and shoulders, and the latter's breathing hitched. Delicately, Honeymaren took Elsa's forearms and made them lift to the top of the bed, still kissing the blonde who was struggling to keep her eyes open. The leader intertwined her fingers with hers, her hands in hers, Elsa's arms now placed up above her head, her palms up and firmly being held by Honeymaren. The bed was so long that even in that posture, their knuckles didn't reach the wood frame.

The Northuldrea leader kissed her for a long moment, Elsa sometimes returning her kisses but mostly surrendering to the breathtaking touches. At some point, she felt her lover smile against the skin of her collarbone.

"You're still tense." Noted the brunette in a whisper.

Elsa took some time to register what she said, retrieving her normal breathing. She opened her eyes and lifted her head to see her.

"Uh?"

Honeymaren passed a hand against her cheek. "Nothing. Lay back on the sheets, sweetie. I'll take care of you."

Those words drove Elsa's brain crazy, even more with the tone that her lover used to say it.

"You're still tense because of what happened lately… This has been a lot for your body as well… And you still are a bit disgusted by it since it's invaded with dark magic." Murmured Honeymaren as she punctuated her sentences with kisses and caresses. "Don't worry. I'll make you feel better, snømus. I entirely commit to it."

Her voice was more than therapeutic. It was deep, husky, and Elsa's breathing went even faster at the innuendo. Honeymaren grinned at the heavenly sound of that huff in her ears as she continued to kiss her neck, and she loved the sensation of Elsa's heart pulse increasing in the vein that was under her lips.

"I can offer you a memorable night… To prove you that I love every single inch of you… Every single part of your being... That I worship your entire body, whatever kind of magic goes through your veins…"

Elsa was mute in astonishment and red in arousal.

"Elsa Nattura of Arendelle, I'll prove to you that I love you more than anything." Murmured Honeymaren, her voice heavy with passion. "More than life, more than the Forest, more than… Heck, I love you more than the Spirits themselves."

Elsa's lips stretched in a slight smile.

"What, you don't believe me?" Frowned Honeymaren, retracting and kneeling up to see her face.

The blonde opened amused eyes.

"Of course I believe you, sweetie, it's just… That's your ultimate reference? The Spirits?"

"You know, it's a sacrilege to not worship the Spirits of Nature." Stated the Northuldra.

"And you worship me the most?"

"Oh, baby, you have no idea…" Grinned Honeymaren.

She lowered closer. "How about I show you. I'll show you how ridiculous it is that you feel this bad about your body when it's nothing less than the one of a goddess…"

She was lowering even closer, and Elsa's breathing got even faster.

"And I'll make sure that you love your body again by tomorrow morning." Honeymaren concluded.

She nibbled her skin in a gentle chew, right above her shoulder, and Elsa let out a sound that she had never heard before. Honeymaren's eyes snapped opened, and in fact, Elsa's as well.

The leader let out a happy scoff. "You liked that?"

Elsa was impossibly red now, and barely dared to look at her wife in the eyes after what had just happened. The brunette grinned; that behavior gave her the answer she needed.

"You're full of surprises…"

Elsa gulped and tried to regain composure. "I am? Give me one."

Honeymaren smiled at her challenging tone. "Well, for the Queen of Ice and Snow, you're really hot right now…"

Elsa was seized by Honeymaren's hungry eyes. Everything in her instinct right now screamed to never ever leave that room and stay in her arms forever.

"On that note, Hot Queen, could you melt your nightgown for me?"

"Uh?" Blinked Elsa, incapable of finding words again and already feeling dizzy at the sensation that there was more to come.

"Entirely." Specified Honeymaren, her smile not leaving her face.

Elsa gulped, but soon her lips matched her wife's smile. She detached one of her hands from Honeymaren's hold and flicked her wrist. In a swirl of snowflakes, her magical outfit vanished in the air, revealing her naked body from head to toe.

Honeymaren's eyes became pools of passion, and she grasped Elsa's hand again before putting it back to where it was with a grin.

"It's time for worship."

---

The morning sunlight going through the room bathed the two sisters in a bright halo, and when it enhanced Elsa's platinum blonde hair, it caught Anna's eye. She then saw something else. The redhead smiled and cleared her throat slightly.

"Elsa, you have uh… Several hickeys on the neck…"

The blonde's eyes snapped wide, and she blushed furiously as she slammed her hands on her neck. She tried to cool down her skin with her hands, and it formed a condensation cloud in the air. That was comical to Anna, and the latter bit her lip and kept smiling.

"They're more like bite marks, though, aren't they? You have more on the shoulders and collarbone, by the way."

Elsa gulped and panic, but did all she could to not appear alarmed in front of her younger sister - which, in Elsa's style, was frantic and obvious - and begged the gods for Anna to forget what she had seen.

There was no chance, though; the Queen was smiling widely as she spread apricot jam on her toast.

As she was about to bring it back to her mouth, she giggled at Elsa's vain attempts to dissimulate her hickeys with cold touches. "Stop doing that, or you'll freeze your entire neck and it will get stiff."

Elsa did as advised, and nervously stared at Anna, who was smirking as she ate her toast.

A long silence passed until Anna was done eating, as Elsa remained stoic and didn't dare to touch anything, her hands firmly clenching together on the breakfast table.

"Did that feel good?" Smiled Anna softly.

"Excuse me?" Blinked Elsa.

"Did that feel good." Repeated Anna casually.

Elsa blushed again, her face covered with red until the tips of her ears. The Queen could see how her heart kind of stopped at the fact that she figured out.

"I didn't mean to make you feel awkward. Sorry. It's just that I noticed how joyful you were when you came in the room. Did that night with Maren light up your mood?"

The blonde looked away to not see the questioning teal blue eyes. She fidgeted with her hands, then sighed.

"Why hiding it. Now you know that Honeymaren and I… We... Uhm."

"Oh, I knew already." Smirked Anna.

"Already?" Repeated Elsa, staring at her, and the redhead's expression turned into a polite smile.

"I had to work late to finish editing contracts last night, so I was in my study…"

Elsa's eyes widened. Anna's study was their father's long ago, and it was purposely located right next to their former parents' bedroom. Which was, to this day… The guest bedroom.

Elsa's jaw dropped. "Oh, holy Ahtohallan… You…"

She didn't dare to finish her sentence. Her throat had suddenly gone really tight anyway.

"Heard you? Hmm-hmm." Nodded Anna.

She was neither teasing or disgusted, and didn't seem to reproach their intimate - not so intimate - moment. She simply was informative.

Elsa's cheeks were on fire. She had never been more embarrassed in her whole life, and quickly buried her face in her hands.

"Oh no…"

Anna smirked. "Well, you do are a great singer, so I wasn't surprised."

Elsa groaned and buried her face even more.

---

Honeymaren looked at her ice ring with a tender smile. She took advantage of the morning rays of sunshine to turn her hand and make the magical object glitter, and show all its stunning properties. She would never get bored of staring at it. Every time, depending on the light, it would look a different blue, and even if the item was small, it had intricate details that forever fascinated the brunette. The ring was also remarkably shiny, even after years of wearing it without the need to maintain it. The brightest of steels or the glossiest of diamonds would look dull in comparison to the unmelting ice ring that Elsa had made.

Crafted with love for her, Honeymaren felt like it was an anchor that made her firmly realize how lucky she was to be blessed by such a wife, and kept her grounded, which was helpful for how many times she felt like floating in the sky at the presence of Elsa.

Her tender smile still on her lips, she kissed the ring with closed eyes. As if on cue, Elsa suddenly barged in the bedroom in a loud entrance.

"HONEYMAREN."

The Northuldra jumped on the bed, startling at the brisk arrival and the scolding tone. Her eyes switched from her furious wife to the ring and back.

Was that magic? It was like she had summoned her. However, given Elsa's state, she surely wasn't here because of her. Or maybe she was…

"...Yes?"

The blonde closed the door, and stomped her feet as she approached the bed.

"ANNA SAW MY HICKEYS!" She grumbled, in a loud hiss.

Honeymaren frowned. "And?"

"AND?"

She scoffed, and slammed her hands on her thighs at how apathetic the brunette was.

"Honeymaren, she SAW my HICKEYS. Hell, YOUR hickeys. On MY neck."

She was pointing at them, as if they weren't obvious enough.

"Yeah, I think I got that." Smirked the brunette, understanding what was the problem, and she couldn't help being amused by her wife's reaction.

Elsa blinked. "And you're not gonna react? At all?" She reproached.

Honeymaren lifted a teasing eyebrow. "You didn't seem to mind last night. Quite the opposite."

The blonde's shameful blush got redder at the memory. "That's… It's… It's not…"

The Northuldra bit her lip to not laugh at how the former Queen was unable to make a full sentence.

"It is." She teased. "And those marks are well earned, trust me. Also, it looks great on you. Can't help it if you have a heavenly white skin. And now you will learn the disadvantages of a wide collar, you extra crafter."

Elsa grumbled. "You…"

She pointed an accusative finger to her wife, but couldn't finish her sentence. The brunette grabbed her outstretched hand and pulled her to the bed next to her.

"Honey!"

"Come here, you dork."

---

Author's Note:

Tumblr people had been so excited to know what happens next after that cliffhanger-hiatus on last chapter that it boosted my writing and I wanted to serve you with a super long chapter.

I hope you read it in several go lmao

That chapter was INTENSE for me to write as well as it must have been for you to read, so I'd understand if you needed breaks.

Hope I didn't traumatized you with that breathtaking mix of angst, drama and fluff... woops.

Tell me what your favorite moment was!

And check out my other fanfics on my profile if you like (to cry at) my style.

See you on next chapter! If you survived. :P