Falling Down
Chapter 12
Monday, Monday. Busy and annoying.
With murder you start with motive, then follow the money, the partner, the mate, the money again, the kids, co-workers or the neighbor. With the death of Bob Curtis, it all led to nothing. The search on his history mirrored what the facility manager said, from sky scraper to skid row. They were working on contacts between the vic and his wife, kids or former partners. Nothing had come up, thus far. He took all his secrets with him.
The limited contacts all said the same thing, he fell down the addiction hole and never crawled out.
The boys were moving onto the B list, those names that came up from talking with his family and a couple of old friends.
Beckett called the ME, hoping for a good clue, something. "Lanie, have you had time to work on the vic Curtis?"
"Good morning Detective. How are you?"
"Cranky."
"I hear that. You weren't raised by wolves were you?"
"What's that mean?"
"You were never taught any social skills like, how to talk on the phone," without a beat she pressed on , "For example, Hello Lanie, how are you today?"
She was silent for a few beats, "Sorry Lanie. The answer is no, not wolves. My parents tried really hard."
Lanie laughed, "I'm just pulling your chain, you sound...distracted."
"Thank you for being kind." Followed my a sigh.
"What's wrong Sweetie?"
"I slept poorly, Castle called yesterday at 6am-ish. I never got back to sleep."
"What's wrong with him? He can't read a clock?"
"Naw, forgot about the time zones."
"So why the poor sleep, you should've been tired and slept well."
"He called back at last night around 10 and we talked for 45 minutes. When we ended the call I was somewhere between hyped and worried. I couldn't get to sleep and then woke up a couple of times." She could not bring herself to tell even her closest friend about the recurring nightmares over Castle. Even Lanie would think she was a nut case.
"You should have gone with him for the sake of sleep alone." She huffed, "First, what are you worried about? And second, when will he be back?"
"He's coming in Sunday. But I'm worried...he's not feeling good, thinks the oral chemo is killing him."
Lanie sighed, "That's the harsh truth about chemo, it's suppose to kill the cancer, not the patient. Side affects go from mild to just plain brutal. Did he tell you his symptoms?"
"No. Just that he felt terrible...like he had the flu...didn't have much of an appetite."
"He needs to take care of himself. Those meds are really hard on your system." She heard Beckett sigh again. It was about the fifth time in their short conversation. "Kate are you OK?"
"I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine."
"Just frazzled Lanie...want him home."
"Oh...I understand." What she really meant was, "I understand you're in much deeper than you telling me, and probably yourself."
"Lanie I have to go, Ryan's waving at me. We'll talk soon."
Before she could hangup the ME added, "I want to know how Castle's doing."
"Will do...I promise."
XX
At 2:30 that afternoon Castle was still in bed. Things had not gotten any better. He wasn't sure what he should do. Whatever that was, it would have to be later. Most of all he just wanted to lay there, reasoning he'd feel better in awhile.
Due to the time difference Beckett had just entered Dr. Burke's waiting room for her 4:45 appointment. She fidgeted as she sat and waited. She'd not spoken to Castle all day, nor had he texted her. The way he sounded last night had put her on edge. The door swinging open interrupted her thoughts.
Dr. Burke stood at the door, a pleasant expression, somewhere between concerned and smiling, "Kate come on in."
After a few minutes of small talk he dove in, "Tell me how your sleeping."
"The same. On and off, fitful dreams."
"Did you try the sleep aid?"
"I had a couple of nights where I was definitely not on call so I tried the medication. It didn't seem to help much."
"Do you want to try something stronger?"
"No. I really don't want to do that." She paused just for a beat, "Castle will be home Sunday, I'll do better with him in town."
"Tell me about that?"
She paused again, "We've been in touch...I just seem to calm down after we talk."
"Has it always been that way."
"No. But on some levels I think yes. We...we've just always clicked, despite what we say to each other...and those around us."
"Why do you say that? Sounds like pretending?"
"It was just a way...bantering, playful teasing, but behind it all we just communicated."
"Did you think you fooled the people around you?"
We weren't trying to fool anyone. But most knew we got along well. My close friend, the ME, always saw through it."
"But something's changed?"
She went quiet, her head dropped, hands open in her lap, "Yeah...now, I'm just scared."
"Scared of what? His condition?"
"Yes and no." She was silent for a few moments, "I'm afraid of him getting worse, the cancer flaring, but I also afraid of me...things are changing in me."
"What's changing?"
"I've never felt needy, it's not me. I've never had to have people around. But with this...with him, I sense a real strong pull...an urge to cling..."
"Are you referring to his illness? Or something else?"
She waved her hand in a swatting motion, "The cancer is a reminder...time runs out...even when we say we know that. But there's more...its feels like I got caught... trivializing...I squandered a gift. He cared for me...and I knew it. I figured he'd be there, but now, he won't."
"He's not gone Kate."
She was silent for a few moments, "When I was a kid, we'd go to the ocean for vacation. My parents would take a week off from work. I loved those times. It's one of my most treasured memories. Anyway, by Thursday I knew we only had a couple of day left before we'd start cleaning up the little rental house. Then it would be time to return to the city." She stopped again and looked out the window, "That feeling, that knowing, that the special time was about to end...and there was nothing I could do to slow it down."
When she didn't continue, he prodded, "What does the story mean?"
"I feel that with Castle, but I don't even have the first half to look back on...I wasted it...I'm just so angry."
"Aren't you being hard yourself?" He waited, but she remained silent, "Looking back is easy. Hindsight feels like it's 20/20, though it seldom is. But seeing down the road, that's another thing. Isn't it more likely, that it simply was not the right time for you and Castle?"
She let out a small laugh, laced with either bitterness or sadness, he could not tell, "Time, the one thing we don't have."
"We all battle with time Kate, but...this sounds like more."
When she turned from the window to look at him her eyes were brimming, her jaw set, the words came haltingly, "I've lost my mother to time...I'm going to lose Castle to the same thing." When she stopped the tears began to stream, "The thought of such a loss, again, is something," shaking her head, "Not sure if I can bear it."
"Kate, he's not gone," his voice taking a plaintiff, "There is time."
She shook her head, "It doesn't feel that way."
"You need to chose otherwise. You, we, have no idea what's around the corner. Don't give it away."
XX
The room was spinning, the urge to vomit again, was overwhelming. He didn't know if he could make it to the bathroom. He scooted to the other side of the bed, it would only take four or five steps to the toilet. He didn't make it. As soon as he stood, his legs gave out, the floor seemed to come up to hit him. He rolled his head to the tile just inside the door, and felt his stomach wrench.
He wasn't sure how long he laid there. He was awakening by his cell phone ringing. He thought he'd heard it, but thought he was dreaming. He started to crawl around the bed, but had to stop and rest. Again he was jarred awake by the ring tone. Rousing himself he crawled the next six or eight feet and reached up to the night stand for the phone.
The noise hurt his head, but he was able to swipe and the answer icon, "Hello."
"Castle, why didn't you answer earlier?" The voice was far away, still he could hear the concern.
He took a deep breath, his mouth tasted terrible, he groaned more than spoke, "Beckett?"
"Rick, you sound terrible."
"Kate, I feel...terrible, not sure...ever felt...bad...before."
"Castle have you called the doctor?"
His words slurred more, "No...can't, been sleeping...throwing up."
"Have you eaten today?"
She heard the phone drop. "Rick? Rick? Come on talk to me." She waited and listened, it sounded like he might be sleeping. She paced and listened. "Rick, I'm hanging up. I'm going to call the front desk. Have them check on you. Then I'll call you back."
She looked through the information he'd given her and found the number for the Finch Bay Hotel. When she got thru to the desk, they were evasive to say the least. She knew the language of the island was Spanish, but she could not speak any. She slowly explained to the desk person what had happened and asked them to check on him. The clerk seemed to understand and asked Beckett to call back in fifteen minutes.
While she waited she paced. She told herself to calm down and decided to do an internet search on the earliest flight she could arrange for him to come home.
Exactly fifteen minutes later she called the desk, the same clerk answered. "Ms. Beckett he is very sick. Let me give you to my manger."
"Ms. Beckett, good evening I'm the evening manger. Can I ask your relationship to my Mr. Castle?
The possible answers scrolled through her head, she decided on the broadest description, "He's my partner." To her surprise there was no follow-up question. So she pressed on, "He told me he wasn't feeling well the last couple of days. When I called to check on him we were disconnected. So I called the front desk."
In clear, calm English he explained the situation, "He is very ill. We have called an ambulance. They arrived in less than ten minutes , they've taken him to Hospital Republica del Ecuadora in Puerto Ayora, it is only fifteen minutes from the hotel. It is the best on the island.
She took a deep breath, "Do you by any chance have the telephone number?"
"Of course, are you ready?"
As he spoke, she wrote down then telephone number and then read it back for confirmation, "That is correct."
"Thank you," She paused and added, "I'll contact the hospital and then update you. Should I leave a message with your assistant?"
"No, you can ask for me, I will be here until 6am tomorrow morning."
She thanked him again and ended the call.
Again she paced in circles. She wasn't sure how to proceed. Without knowing who to contact, or who could actually get information from the hospital she was stumped. While he's my partner answer worked on the hotel manager, it probably would not work on a doctor or nurse.
After more pacing, she decided on Martha. It was still early, she just hoped Castle's mom was home. On the fourth ring Martha Rogers answer, "Martha it's Kate Beckett."
"Kathrine good evening, what can I do for you?" before Beckett could speak added, "You know Richard is off to some island in the middle of nowhere."
"Martha..."She was stopped by the thickening of her throat, the worry finally washing over her. When she paused the other woman spoke.
"Katherine is everything OK?"
Clearing her throat, "Sorta. I spoke to Castle tonight and he's not feeling very good. He thinks it's the medications he taking...doesn't really know for sure."
"Oh dear. Why did he have to run off at this time anyway?"
Beckett heard the words, but wondered if his mother knew he'd asked her to go, and that she'd declined. Was she asking, why she wasn't with him?
"Martha, I called a little while ago and he's worse..." She wondered why she had to break this news, but shook her head, "The hotel was concerned and had him taken to a local clinic."
"Oh no," her voice immediately reflecting the strain of the news, "Will he be OK? What did they say?"
"I don't know much. But I need to call or someone needs to call to talk with the staff there" She paused, "My concern is that they won't speak to anyone except his doctor or someone he's designated."
With a tone of you-didn't -know, "Detective, he's designated you."
"What do mean?"
"He sent an email to my phone before he left. He said if anything medically comes up, forward the information to you."
"Do you know what information he was referring to?"
"Richard said...let me think, a power of attorney for health...health things, I don't recall. But I know he said you're the person he listed on the form."
"Can you forward it to me?" Then gave her personnel email address.
"I'll find it and send it to you. Will you call me back after you call the hospital?"
"Of course, and I'm sorry to worry you with so little information."
"I feel better already, knowing you're going to call. Thank you Katherine."
XX
She tried to sit. Her knees were bouncing, adrenaline pumping. Then she was up again pacing. Within five minutes her phone pinged.
She pulled up the email. There was a brief note with two attachments. She read:
Kate:
I thought I better do this before I left. I've given you the Power of Attorney for Health Care, it will allow you to make medical decisions if something goes wrong, just in case. I've left the provision very broad, I trust you to do what's best.
The second item is a credit card, it's in your name. All the information is there. You can use it for anything. If you need the card or the originals on the attachments, go by the loft and ask my mother to find the envelope for you on my desk.
One more thing. We have plenty of money, please use it if the need arises.
Thanks – RC
She spoke to her empty apartment, "Castle...Castle."
XX
The receptionist at the hospital directed her call to the urgent care department. A nurse answered, her English was poor, so she handed Beckett off to another nurse.
Beckett explained the reason for her call. The hotel said Castle had been taken by ambulance to this hospital. She wanted to check on his condition, she didn't know much.
The nurse asked her relationship. She tried the partner thing again. It didn't work.
"Do you mean partner, as in wife?" The question struck her. She was acting like his wife and he was entrusting her with his life.
"No, he's my partner at work." She did not want to explain the cop versus consultant status, it would be too much. "But I'm the person listed in his Medical Power of Attorney."
"Do you have those forms, and can you forward them to us?"
"If you have an email, I can send them right now."
The nurse provided the address, Beckett sent a brief message and attached the form. The confirmation of receipt took only 30 seconds.
In less than five minutes, though it seemed like an hour, the nurse picked up and confirmed receipt of the document, "Ms. Beckett let me turn you over to the doctor."
The doctor identified himself as Samuel Light. Beckett could tell by his English that it was his first language, his voice was deep and calm, "Ms. Beckett, I'm Dr. Light, I have been attending to Mr. Castle. First let me tell you he will be OK. He's very dehydrated and feeling poorly,. Based on what they told me when he was brought in, he's been vomiting and has had severe diarrhea. The medication in the room was sorafenib, I take it he's being treated for some form of cancer. The recent incision suggest, liver. What can you tell me?"
"He had a radio frequency ablation about three weeks ago for liver cancer. His diagnosis was stage III. They recently began the chemotherapy medication, but he told me the side effects were getting much worse."
"His oncologist will have to decide on how to proceed, but it appears this medication may not work for him. For the time being he will have to avoid any further dosages."
"I understand."
"Is there someone here with him?"
"No. He's traveling alone."
"My plan is to keep him for at least 24 hours, maybe more. He's very weak, and again very dehydrated. It will take a few days for him to get back on his feet. Do you know how long he planned to stay?
"His plans were through Sunday," and added, "Doctor is he awake?"
"No. He's exhausted and is resting. It's nothing serious, he's just worn down by the reaction to the medication."
"Thank you so much for your help and treatment. I will call back in the morning."
"Good night Ms. Beckett."
XX
She had calls to make. Her mind was made up.
At 8: 45 she called her Captain at home. She asked if she could take some time-off, something had come up. Montgomery was obviously concerned. "Is everything OK Detective?"
"Captain, I need to fly to Galapagos and bring Castle home. He was put in the hospital today and is pretty sick."
"Do you know what's wrong with him?"
She didn't have Castles permission tell anyone about his condition, so she kept it to the minimum.
"The doctor I spoke with said he's very dehydrated, been vomited...the whole nine yards. He had called me and really sounded terrible. I think he passed out during our call. So I called the front desk."
"You know we can cover anything. When will you be back?"
"Sunday I hope."
"Safe trip."
"Thank you sir."
XX
It has been ten days since the FBI offered an interview. The whole thing had been percolating in the back of her mind. Like a window on a computer that had been minimized, it was there and every time she looked at the screen, the icon loomed large.
She remained suspect about the whole thing. Why would they be at her door now? If she did such a great job and they were so impressed, they should have struck when the iron was hot. But no, they waited a year?
And then there was the timing. This call comes just after Castle's diagnosis. Coincidence? She did not believe in coincidences. She moved to her detective instincts and asked, who knew? Besides her, there was Lanie, her dad, Martha and Alexis. None of those people had any contact with the FBI. So who was left? Gina. And who had asked her to abandon her partner, "for his good?" This whole thing, slithered like a snake back to Gina's door.
The evening had flown by, she'd barely slowed down. She was moving and not thinking. There were the calls, the reservation for the flight, the quick preparation for the trip. But there was another thing to do. The tying of the last loose string.
Though she already knew, she placed herself on the sofa, and spoke to the bookcase, "What are you going to do?"
She looked down at her hands and the printed copy of the email from the FBI. It confirmed her conference call on Friday afternoon, just days away. At the bottom below the electronic signature of Agent Myers, were the bold letters FBI. She could not lie to herself, it meant a great deal to her. A symbol from another the world. She was still surprised that they had deigned to even contact her. She never believed she would be invited to such an interview. She didn't feel qualified and had a thousands reasons why she could not see herself there. But they had called and it shook her world.
She spoke the words aloud one more time, "What are you going to do?"
After a few beats she answered the question, "You already know,! You're not doing the interview!" Her eyes immediately stun at the words. She took two deep breaths, and spoke the answer in a clear voice, "I'm going to the Galapagos, I'm choosing him."
The FBI just didn't matter to her enough. It didn't feel right, and her decision clinked in her head, and heart. The Bureau would have to be in another life. She sat down the copy and picked up her phone. After bring up the email she hit reply and began:
Dear Ms. Meyers:
Thank you for the invitation to interview with your organization. I consider it an honor to have been asked.
Unfortunately I must decline and will not be able to participate in the conference call on Friday at 4 PM.
Circumstances are such that I simply cannot make such a significant career change at this time.
Again thank you for the opportunity.
Very truly,
Detective Katherine Beckett
NYPD, 12th Precinct.
Before sending the message, she left a voice mail on Ms. Meyer's work number.
After ending the call, she took another breath, and hit send for the email.
It was done.
XX
She had a final call to make.
Martha answered immediately. She gave her a quick run down and then the news that her flight was leaving JFK in about four hours. She would be there early tomorrow morning, but first she needed to pack and then run by the loft for the things Castle had left her. She'd be there in within the hour.
She quickly showered and tossed enough clothes in a carry-on for four days.
When she arrived at the loft, the door was slightly ajar. She knocked lightly then stuck her head inside.
Castle's mom and daughter sat tensely on the sofa. Both jumped up and rushed to greet her. Alexis slowed and let her grandmother go first, the woman pulled Beckett in and tightly hugged her, "Oh, Katherine darling, I am so pleased you're off to save my wayward son."
Beckett laughed at the melodrama, "Martha I'm just going to beat him for going, and then bring him home."
Another hug, "Richard will be so happy to see you, even if he's sick. Please call once you get to him."
"Of course."
She turned to Alexis, who offered a gentler but equally sincere embrace., "Detective Beckett, thank you for traveling to get my Dad. I feel so much better."
"Alexis I have been worried for days, this is as much for me as for him."
The girl smiled, "After you beat him...can you give him a big hug for me?"
The three women laughed.
She reassured both that the doctor stressed that although he's weak, he'll be OK in a few days. "I promise to keep you guys posted."
A third a final hug from Castle's mom and, "Safe trip my dear."
AN: For you many readers. followers, and those who have favorited this story, thank you. Also for those who take the time to comment I am delighted by your words of encouragement. We have a ways to go. Hope you continue to enjoy. Madreag.