Falling Down
Chapter 16
The next two days they spent as tourists, or at least that was their intent. If you had asked those who encountered the pair, they would have described them as honeymooners. They seemed incapable of letting go of one another, they seldom allowed space between themselves, they simply clung.
When they climbed back in the jeep she tugged on his hand, "Castle we don't have to keep going. We can go back to the hotel, you can rest."
"Detective, my hotel room is not what I would call a...what's the word...ah a safe place."
"Words, not a word."
He loved her snark, "Yeah, word or words...it's still not safe."
"I can offer, what's the word? Protection?" thudding on the 't', she smiled, leaned in and kissed his cheek, "I will read...I promise," another peck, "And you can sleep. You need some rest."
XX
He stirred, feeling like he was held by invisible hands to his bed. As his head cleared his body became free to move, then began to recall where he was. The sleep had been deep. He slowly rolled onto his side. He could see Kate out on the deck reading, they, he smiled at the word, were in the Galapagos. They'd been together for the last three days. It made him smile again at the pure pleasure of her presence. In the days since his diagnosis he had not expected Kate Beckett to be with him. Sure he hoped they would grow closer, he'd even asked her to travel, promising to be a gentleman, but then she'd shown up.
The Kate Beckett that had walked into the hospital room, sick with worry, was not the person he'd left in New York. She was not a cop, but a woman, there to protect and watch over the focus of her interest. It had taken her very little time to spell it all out, her fears, mistakes and most importantly her intentions.
He lazily stared across the bed at the reading figure, eyes fluttering between worlds.
He felt the bed dip, then a leg over his leg, arm across his chest, finally teeth and lips at his ear, "Hey sleepy head...told you...you've been asleep for almost two hours."
Speaking to the ceiling, "Don't want to waste two hours sleeping...when you're with me. Can't get enough of you."
She laughed, "You've had plenty of me."
He laughed and pulled her on top of himself, "That my love, is never possible."
He held his eyes tightly shut, he hadn't meant to say love, although he meant just that. He didn't want to scare her away. Thinking this would be a brief interlude in their days together. When they returned to New York's harsh lights, things may well return to a pre-Galapogoes state. It made his heart skitter.
It had been weeks since he had asked her to take a leave of absence. With her refusal he had ventured off, accepting her decision. What he had not told her, had she accepted, was that he wanted to set limits on their contact. When the disease got worse, his health deteriorated, he did not want her tethered to him. Did not want her to see his demise. He wasn't looking for a nurse, he could hire one. He hated seeing younger women with old broken men. He had no intention of offering her the dregs of his life. She deserved the best things in life not the scraps.
"Hey, you in there?" Bumping him with her hip.
Letting go of the thoughts, "Yes Detective, I am."
She whined, "I'm hungry Castle."
He laughed softly, squeezing her against him, "For a skinny thing, you're sure hungry a lot?"
"Hey, I need to keep up my strength...you never know what will come up."
As they untangled so they could get up and get dressed, they sat briefly on the edge of the bed. She pulled on his arm, and laid her head on his shoulder, "What was that cloud a minute ago?"
"What cloud?" Feigning ignorance.
"Castle!" Giving him a furrowed brow, "It's me...what was it?"
He reached over and lifted her chin, kissing her gently, "For another day."
She held his gaze, "You promise?"
He didn't respond at first and she pressed, "Castle, don't shelter me, let me in."
"I know...I promise, just not today."
"OK."
XX
They would be heading home on Sunday. Which both agreed was too soon. So for Saturday Castle arranged a private catamaran trip. With sufficient wind, they'd sail to a number of coves, do some snorkeling and have lunch.
The captain quickly discerned that these two passengers were there to really enjoy the day. It wasn't just something to do. He also noticed they were competitive. The woman would tease her boyfriend or husband about how slow he was at getting into the water.
After a couple of stops to snorkle the captain begin to bark out, "Overboard!" Kate and Rick would laugh, the captains command became the start of the race between them. They would drop whatever they were doing, pull on the masks and leap. The captain promised that just a few feet underwater and they find a world like they'd never seen.
After the third stop Kate decided they needed some rules for this game.
He shook his head, "Rules? What kind of rules do you need to jump off a boat?"
"Since you can't seem to complete the task, but still yell that you've won...may I suggest a three part test for determining the winner?" She splashed water at him.
"Beckett are you sick? A three part test to jump into the ocean?"
"Just listen big guy. One, mask on. Two, off the boat and in the water. And thee, mask still attached to your face."
He shook his head no, "That is not fair, I'm a lot bigger than you and the masks seems to come off."
"Maybe if you didn't jump in head first it would stay on?"
"How can I see, and what if hit something?"
"Rick, you know were in the middle of the ocean? Not a swimming pool at Holiday Inn!"
"I don't stay at Holiday Inn's anymore!"
"Rick!"
"Fine, fine...wreck the game….you just have to win!"
"No, you just can't seem to do all three things at the same time."
He swam near and pulled her close, "OK, but..if I win three times in a row...you have to jump in without that nasty swimming suit!"
"No! That's not happening...plus a thong bottom and a string top hardly meets the definition of a suit."
"Well it is certainly impeding my access!"
She laughed, pushed him away and splashed at him again, "If you have any more access, you'll need to be re-hospitalized"
"Aw, but what a way to go!" He moved close to her again and kissed her gently.
After lunch they drifted in the sun for a while. He looked at her as she lay next to him. She was face down on the tarpaulin that stretched between the hulls, her sun hat covering her head, while she rested her head on her arms. He didn't know if he'd ever been this happy. He did not believe in soulmates, but found himself thinking he'd found his.
She had asked him not to let her sleep for more than fifteen minutes in the hot tropical sun.
He checked his watch he'd attached to his small bag, it was time and she hadn't budged. He leaned over and kissed the small of her back, and whispered, "I love you Kate."
Moving up he kissed her shoulder and shook her gently, "Kate, time to wake up." Her hand snaked out from under the hat and pushed him away. He heard her grunt a word like no.
When the hand was pulled back, he grabbed a couple of towels and covered her so the sun wouldn't burn her.
In about thirty minutes the hat and towels moved and she sat up and looked around, Sleepily asked, "Hey Castle...how long was I out?"
"About forty-five minutes."
"I told you fifteen."
"I tried but you were not...receptive to the idea, so I covered you up."
She scooted near him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and kissed him, "I have a question, were you kissing on me when I was asleep?"
"Why would you think that?"
She laughed, "I thought so!"
XX
It was Saturday morning. Alexis had slept later than usual, her grandmother had gotten up earlier than usual, which was any hour before noon.
"Grams what do you think is going on with Dad and Detective Beckett?"
"What do mean my dear?"
"You know, her flying down there to check on him?"
Martha Rogers let out a presumptive laugh, "One thing I know its not because she wasn't just checking on her partner."
Alexis sat up, "You think there's more to this trip?"
"My dear, there's always been more. Those two dance around like it's nothing, it's not...I suspect once they land on the same page...it will be the only page for both them."
"Really, I know Dad's crazy for her...think that's why he went to her first when he got sick?"
The older woman was silent, any levity dissipated and sadness painted her expression, "He needs her, my dear, and she needs him...I'm just sorry it took that terrible news to push away the blinders."
"I hate the news, but now it...it does seems like she needs him too. She could have checked on him by phone...it's a long trip and she left the second she heard..."
"I think you'll have a better idea when you pick them up tomorrow."
"Gina said she would go with me, she was worried too, but after I told her Detective Beckett had gone down to check on him, she got...a really quiet...in fact she sounded a little angry."
"I doubt Gina liked the...proximity of her best writer and his muse...I'd call it a territorial dispute. "
Alexis laughed, "A territorial dispute? Dad would get would get kick out of that line Grams."
"Well, time will tell."
XX
Gina did not want to be working. If you could call this work. She was thinking about her plans and how to regain control of the situation. Her driving concern was production and sales. If she could encourage the best from her writers, and assist in sharpening the stories punch, then hitting the market with a winner - she'd won the triple crown.
She paused and focused on just one. Richard Castle. His obligation to Black Pawn was to produce at least one book per year. They would advance on his past performance. Since he was in the twenty plus best seller club, money was not the issue. Now it was all about sustainability.
The events of the last few months had thrown a real curve at the Black Pawn team. Suddenly one of their cash cows was in trouble. Rick's health raised made them wonder if they would even get another book out of him. If he could beat the cancer back, which brought a frown to Gina's face, knowing the odds were not in their favor, maybe then she could hope for a couple of more books.
She shifted her thoughts to the money. He may not have many more books, but they could create a frenzy over his 'dying effort.' She considered what she could do with his last book, once he, but then her brain froze, she could not even think the words.
She did care about him. He'd not married since they had split-up and though she had changed her name back to Cowell, she was still the last Mrs. Castle. Meredith was Mrs. Rogers, but Gina alone held the title to the author's last name. But there was a problem and she wasn't sure how to handle it. She'd met with his Detective and asked her to bow out of his life. When he'd asked her to the island off South America, she declined. She had internally pumped the air when he gave her the news that he was going alone. Beckett could listen, or could she?
Alexis Castle had called with news of a medical problem, again she'd told the girl she would fly down, or at least started to, when she was informed that Beckett had been there for a couple of days. So much for taking advice and sticking to her refusal.
Gina poured herself more coffee, and as her fingers traced the glass rim, she could feel the bile of jealousy rising up. When one of her staffers commented on the news, she had told her, 'Beckett has the body of a boy, and she's flat as a board." She went on to say that, "Rick likes curves, boobs and blond hair." Unfortunately for her, the staffer had thoughtlessly offered, "Maybe, but she's drop dead gorgeous...and have you seen the way he looks at her." Gina's held her tongue but had wanted to scream.
So now she considered what might have happened in their five days. She knew Beckett had Castle wrapped around her little finger. He was blind and in love. But Beckett did not appear to be attracted to him, not based on her conduct. Gina tisked. She shook her head wondering how Rick got so stuck in his puppy love thing while the cop goddess had paraded men in front of him. Even drug them off to her bed and offered her forbidden fruit to others. She could not have hurt him more than a pistol whipping. The woman had mastered the bitch thing. She stood and paced in front of the panoramic scene of Manhattan.
She was brought back by her phone ringing. It was Ron calling her back. Before answering she spoke to the empty room, "I'll bet on the look but don't touch thing for poor Rick." She pushed the answer button, "Hey Ron, got a job for you."
"Sounds good, what's up?"
"Photo investigator!"
"You mean a sleuth thing?"
"Yeah sorta."
"Am I looking for dirt? And whose the target?"
"No, Just trying to figure out whats going out with my boy Castle."
There was a brief pause, the investigator sounded confused, "You mean Richard Castle?"
"Who else?"
Another pause, "OK, when and where?"
She gave him the details.
XX
She was saddened by the simple act of boarding the plane. She did not want to go home. But the real world waited and they needed to get back. As she slid into the comfortable and wide first class seat, she stared out the window at the tropical island and thought about all the changes that had occurred in the last five days.
After they'd been in the air for awhile, he leaned over, "You asked me about the dark cloud a few days ago."
"That's true, what was it?"
"I want to tell you something and I don't want you to be angry."
She turned to him, eyes wide. But said nothing.
"When I asked you to take some time off, I understood your no. I didn't like it... but I didn't want you to do something you weren't interested in...I just wanted to be with you."
She leaned in and kissed him gently, "I am with you Castle...not going anywhere."
He smiled and then looked down at his hands, "I wanted you with me, but did not want to set your aside your life...even though that's what I was asking." He paused and glanced over at her, face was set in concern, "Anyway, had you accepted, there was something else, something more to my request."
"What else?"
"Again, please be don't be angry. I wanted to limit it...in duration...it was only to be for...for a year." Her eyes narrowed, scrutinizing him.
"What does that mean, a year?" She stiffened, "Explain it!"
"When I got the diagnosis and I asked how long I had, they first told me they didn't know. After I pressed the doctors, they gave me the survival rates. They said it could be short, or it could go all the way to five years and beyond, they just didn't know." He took a deep breath. "When I thought about you, just being together, I wanted it to be good, memorable, not...the mess at the end. So I wanted to limit it, give you the best six months or year you could ever have. Take you..."
She grabbed his arm, "And then? What? Send me away?"
He shook his head, "No...not like that..."
"So I could have you for one year...and then?" She lift her hands and rolled them palms up, "Live happily ever after while you go off into the sunset...and die?" She bit on the last word.
"That was not how I saw it or wanted it...first I was asking you only as my partner, not..."
"Not what Castle?" Her voice increasing in volume.
"A lover Kate, not as a lover."
She quieted with his words, "Is that what I am to you, a lover?"
He looked away and focused down the isle, "I think you know what you are to me...have been for a long time."
She returned to silence.
He waited but she said nothing. "I don't want a nurse, don't want to give you the trash of my life."
The vein bulged on her head, she was red, and quickly stood, "I'm going to the restroom."And was gone.
He sat, considering the mess he'd made, how angry she was with him. He was thinking of her, he didn't want her to have to see him like that, to watch him fight for his last days.
He saw her as she neared their seats, the pit stop hadn't helped. She stopped and glared down at him and jabbed her finger into his chest, "Have I told you what a piece of..."
The stewardess interrupted by stepping between them, "Ma'am, you need to take your seat and calm down."
Beckett turned her glare to the woman, "I am calm, its..."
"No! You are not! Your voice is too loud, and your face is red. Please sit. Now!" Beckett slipped past Castle and dropped into her seat.
She said nothing for ten minutes, just stared out the window. He could see her hand gripping and then release the arm rest. Finally her hand stopped and she sat it on her lap. She turned and looked at him, not happy but not near as angry. "Do you not understand what the last five days mean?"
"Kate..."
She put up her hand to silence him, turning her head away, then back, eyes flashing, "This was not some roll in the hay for me Castle."
"I was trying to think of you...of your happiness. I wasn't trying to be selfish."
"Do the words, for better or worse...in sickness and health, ring a bell?"
"Yeah, vows from my last two marriages."
"Wrong! They're words that describe a relationship! Not just marriage."
He studied his hands. Not sure what to say.
Then after another few minutes of silence,"You asked what you were. I misspoke, you are not 'a lover,' Kate." She looked at him, "You're my love."
She leaned against him, "Castle you get all of me or none of me. If its for one year or ten." She lifted his chin to face him, "Look at me, do you understand?"
"I do Kate. I do."
She sat back, her head flat against the seat, facing forward. She reached over and took his hand, held it to her chest.
He beamed at her, pulling their entangled hands to his lips and kissing hers.
XX
Once they had completed the disembarking and where in the terminal, Beckett pushed him to the side, and against a small wall, she brushed a kiss across the corner of his mouth, and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Holding him tight she whispered, "I'm still mad at you. You're one year thing is just BS...BS Castle!
He pulled his head back and looked at down at her, "Kate..."
She leaned in and hissed, "What were you thinking?" She lifted her head to kiss him, but instead bit the corner of his lip.
"Ow!" Moving his hand to his lips.
She glared, eyes aflame, "Still mad!"
"You just bit me here in this terminal. You're an animal." He rubbed at his lip.
"I'm still baffled by your stupid idea."
"I'm sorry...it's all different now." He squeezed her, then shook his head, "I just don't want to be a burden...I hate the idea...the pictures in my head, its suffocating."
"Castle, don't get a head of yourself...there's time! We'll work it out, together."
She remained against him, arms around his waist, sustaining herself on the contact. He looked across the terminal, but didn't see Alexis, "We're back in civilization."
She growled against his chest, "Don't want to be here."
"Nor I Kate, nor I."
The embrace was interrupted by a voice they both knew, "Dad, Dad!"
Beckett looked embarrassed, it had not been a, friendly hug. In fact she has restrained herself from wrapping her leg around his calf, wanting him closer. The flight had been too long. She'd watched him sleep and more than once wished they could crawl back into bed, close out the world and be, just them. She guessed Alexis didn't need much of an explanation about the change in their relationship. Show and tell was over. She prayed the flush of her cheeks would fade, and fast.
Alexis watched as her father and Detective Beckett moved hand in hand towards her. He looked wonderful. She had not seen his eyes so bright in years. He was struggling to hold back the smile, like someone trying not to laugh. She had known for a long time that he was in love with Detective Beckett, still unrequited love was not for the weak, and it had taken its toll on him. But that was behind them. They both seemed effervescent.
When the three reached one other, Alexis extended her arms to include both Beckett and her dad. She collided with them and put her head on her dad's chest between he and Beckett, she laughed, "So good to have the love birds home," and without a beat, "How was the flight?" Her hands moved to grab the couples free hands.
Castle lost the battle on restraint the smile bloomed, "It was great Pumpkin."
Having stepped back from them, "Detective Beckett you look wonderful. You had a good time too?"
Beckett looked at this young woman who had just bypassed all the questions about relationship changes and summed it up with 'love birds' and embraced them like they were her parents. She felt her eyes sting over this purposeful exchange, followed by a warming sense of security. When she started to speak her voice failed her. She took a deep breath, and leaned hard against Castle, "It was...wonderful Alexis, just wonderful."
"Well Grams is fixing dinner if you have time to join us?"
Castle put his hand to his throat, "We're gonna die with my Mother in the kitchen."
Both woman laughed, Alexis spoke first, "Let me clarify, Grams ordered dinner in."
"Ah, yes," Castle offered, "There's a chance we'll live." He turned to look at Beckett knowing she'd been away for almost a week, all unplanned, "Kate if you need to get home, I understand."
Her answer was quick, "No! I would love to have dinner with you guys. If you can get me a ride home afterwards?"
"I can't get you a ride," she looked up at him, "But I will take you home."
They headed for the baggage pick-up.
XX
The small mirror-less camera in the mans hands on the edge of the crowded airport, was barely noticeable. The telephoto lens was also compact but had sufficient depth of field to capture flawless images.
Gina had gone all out and bought a ticket to Boston which would allow her guy to have a boarding pass and get nearer the travelers. She'd worry about the cost later. Now she wanted the investigator beyond TSA and up close as they exited the plane. Although she made her living off of words, the ancient wisdom was still right, a picture, could indeed be worth a thousand words.
Ronnie Esquivel was good, plus he had the advantage of a well lit facility. He used his telephoto lens and zoomed in on his targets. The dark haired woman had pulled his subject out of line, then spun him against a wall. In the next instant she was kissing him.
Gina Cowell had told him she wanted to get a sense of the relationship. To see how they interacted. The camera had a WiFi connection and he emailed the first few snaps to her. He thought, "Get a sense?," well these will give her more than she bargained for. Thinking, if the woman hanging onto the writer doesn't calm down, they might end up arrested.
The love scene was interrupted by Castles daughter, Ronnie had seen her before, she greeting them warmly, taking their hands. It dissolved into a group hug. He took another series of snaps. Then forwarded them as the trio headed down to baggage. The brunette never let go of Castle. He snapped away.
He completed his task when they all climbed into a large Mercedes Benz. The driver assisted. There was a short discussion on who would sit where. The daughter took the front seat by the driver. He wasn't sure why, there was plenty of room in the back seat, but the woman left no space between herself and the writer.